thank you santi for answering my question. This video covers pretty much everything I wanted to know. It's really hard for me to hide my thoughts and feelings and just go with what everyone else doing, i like to be extremely honest and not talk bs. so I think living like you santi is more suitable for me Your channel helps me a lot, keep up the good work 👍

i don't know but my japanese bf is always very direct like santi 🤣 i had some pimples on my face recently because of the mask, and i felt quite insecure and hope he will not ask. but my bf pointed at my face and asked what happen. 😅 but i prefer my bf to be direct with me and not tell me things to make me happy. for example, he always say, "Lily chan, kawaii ne!" of course i always love it when he says i am super kawaii but i dont know if it's always true.

Hone and Tatemae like many things, is not just a Japanese thing. Humans in general have constantly shift between socially appropriate speech and honest speech. I think the dress and Harajuku examples would be the same in America.

I'm loving this kind of content. I'm learning there's slight similarity between the Filipino and Japanese cultures with regards to when to be honest or when not to. Also in a group of friends when one tries to make himself stand out, he will hear remarks from his peers like "ikaw na", "ediwow", "may nanalo na", "pabibo", "jollibee" or anything like that to let you know that you're trying to stand out. So it's important to be keep in mind the concept of "pakikisama" meaning being able to adapt, adjust and compromise for the collective harmony.

Thank you Santi-san, Your content is great. 👍

The examples are very useful 👍🏽

It's so interesting!! Even the last example, asking your friend "do you want me to use 本音 or 建前" has a 建前 answer😂 In my country Spain for example we don't really have good opinion of people that lie to that extent because it's too much energy to try to understand the hidden meaning, you know, we are lazy. But it's true that there are some circumstances where you have to use it (work, for example) I like your life-style, 本音 as a way of living! I believe that it is possible that you and 本音-type people, can find good friends, even in Japan! Anyways good video, waiting for the next🎉

Santi-san spitting FACTS. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

whoaa santi san,nice chair :)

Thank you. This was extremely interesting. It's also interesting that different cultures can have these same practices, but they don't have the same nomenclature, the same rules, or are necessarily as formalized. Santi, may I ask why your hypothetical girlfriend is always named "Lisa"? 🤨🤷🏻‍♀️🤍

Okay, so, I’m autistic, and so in Australia, I struggled with our equivalent of 本音 and 建前, but I actually think it’s easier to 空気読む in Japan than Australia, and it’s easier to tell when people are using 建前. There are things I just don’t talk about with my Japanese friends (like being autistic) but day to day, I think 本音建前 works better here than Aus. Obviously, I’d prefer people to be more direct, but sometimes, 建前 is very helpful.

In some situations, you'd have to tiptoe around people's sensitivities. Personally, if i'm asked about my opinion about something and i want to be honest for the benefit of the other person , i try to phrase my opinion as politely as i can muster😌

Santi i am no longer フリーランサー. 😣 I got a job I couldn’t refuse. I’m not sure how I feel. I think I sold my soul for a good price.

The same thing exists in Germany as well ... It's called "Gruppenzwang". Literally it means group pressure. Woe betide you having another opinion than the majority 🙈😆

Hi! I just wanted to ask if Japanese people are similar to French people if we talk about languages? Because stereotypically when you go to France and try to speak English people will be replying in French (even if they know Eng) because they think that when you come to their country you h a v e t o speak French. Is it the same when a foreigner goes to Japan? Are Japanese people “language strict”?

Santi i always listening to your blog.. i leaned a lot from. BTW u have big eyes, hehe

Very interesting topic!! Santi, could you spell these two concepts? Hiragana or romanji doesn't matter haha

Do the Japanese have the equivalent of Eskimos? Eskimo 1 to Eskimo 2 about Eskimo 3: Eskimo 1: "Do you Trust Eskimo 3, my good friend Eskimo 2?" Eskimo 2: "I like Eskimo 3, but would I go Seal-Fishing with Eskimo 3? Probably not." Eskimo 1: "Ah, I see... Hey I'm hungry my good life long friend Eskimo 2: Let's go Seal-Fishing!"

Ayyy santi

Santi! why don't talk about Women Equility in japan as today we celebrated the IWD. Greetings

SANTI!!! WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE...NO FRIENDS, BUT CAN'T STAND "TATEMAE"!!

Hello i just discovered ur channel. I find it helpful and guide for my LDR w a Jboy. Can i ask if civil servants in japan really busy even on wkends? He said he is a volunteer firefighter. He is 37.

So the girl knows you’re lying?