Cara, I think I'd better explain why I came to Japan forty years ago. I came to work in an orphanage that specialized in helping children born between Japanese women and American Service men. It was at the highest time during the Vietnam War and the children were rejected by both parents. I was to work there for two years or more. I was having a great time at the Home( orphanage), but half way through my second year I got violently ill. Can you imagine what it would be like to be dying and not be able to communicate with the people caring for you? I had to have three operations on my abdomen in six months. The last time they called my family to come to be with me because they expected me to die. The people at the hospital, the friends I had made at the orphanage all took such loving care of me during that time. After the last operation I went back to Seattle for a year to recuperate, but I missed the friends I had made so much, and I felt cheated I didn't get my two years I volunteer for finished. While I was in Seattle recuperating two wonderful things happened. A group of doctors were passing through Seattle and when I told them how much I missed Japan one of the doctors asked me to come and volunteer at his hospital the other thing was I met my future husband, he was in Seattle teaching Japanese language and culture in Seattle Public Schools. After working at the hospital for a year my husband and I were married. My husband was such a fun guy to be with. After four years of married life we applied to adopt our first child a newborn baby boy. After six years we heard about the Japanese foster system, so we applied and became parents to three more sons in one year can you believe it!! For the next twenty years we were busy raising our family. I had been really healthy, then all of a sudden I started having pains in my right side again, they found a tumor and thought it was cancerous ( it wasn't) but the surgery was dangerous anyway and I was left in chronic pain. We had had a lot of financial troubles over the years my husbands health, both physical and mental started to deteriorate too. And one evening I woke up and my husband was no more, he had taken his own life. Why am I telling you this honey is because wherever you live,whatever you do in life there are going to be ups and downs and it's how you deal with those times that helps you deal with the pains in life. It doesn't matter who you marry, who your friends are, where you live, you you will have good times and bad times. Ask your parents and grandparents they went through the same things. My grandparents came from Wales, they immigrated to the United States, my grandfather died when he was forty leaving my grandmother with four sons to raise. It as though our lives are intertwined and just playing themselves out in different ways before us. You said you grew up in Hong Kong, I don't know if your grandparents were of Chinese origin or Japanese but they probably tried to follow their dream to a different country before you. You are just completing the circle Cara. I'm now 69 years old, I'm in a wheelchair but I still look forward to seeing other parts of Japan I have yet to see. I still have dreams. Cara you are just starting your journey, I hope it is a good one. Good luck.

"I've never thought conformity could be so suffocating" you nailed it with one line for me.

I’ve applied for JET 3 times, and this week will be my second attempt at the interview, and might I say I give you many kudos. I was all for it the first time I applied, but looking back I don’t think I would have lasted long if I got in right out of college. I was much more well versed in work life than my peers, but none of that prepared me for working life out of college. I ended up having your experiences in Milwaukee, WI, over 12 hours drive away from home, which was a daunting task, but not nearly as daunting as it could have been. The only saving grace was the fact that I had the means to go home if I needed to - a 12 hour drive could still be achieved, or a $200 plane ticket. While I won’t tell my family lest they fret, I’ve reminded myself a few times that I can’t just come home if I need to during this. I plan to set aside enough money for an emergency, round trip plane ticket, but I won’t have the luxury of knowing I can come back easily if I’m needed, or if I need them. I thought of this last year, and it convinced me to stop my application altogether (I don’t include it in my 3 attempts). When I thought about it this year, though, I realized life was not without its risks, and that at the end of the day I’ll endure. Nonetheless, this reminded me of that reality, and I give you many kudos for enduring like you did this time 3 years ago. I hope that wherever you are now, you’re in a good place and doing everything you wanted to do.

As someone who's currently doing teaching abroad, this is just great. The living abroad blues are no joke, so it's good to know that there are other people going through the same things. The letter you wrote looked like a pretty constructive way to deal with it, I might have to write one myself! Thank you for posting this video, your sincerity is refreshing. Happy birthday and all the best.

Thank you Cara for sharing. I will do my best as well.

Cara, If you are still in Japan, and haven't thrown in the towel yet, I want to tell you I listened to the letter you wrote to yourself when you were really down. That letter reminded me of myself when I came to Japan over forty years ago, from Seattle, Washington. It has been hard at times but I am still here can you believe that anyone would chose to stay here, but I did, because it took time to know the Japanese people, and I am still learning. All over Japan you will find groups of what or who I call the "old timers", most of us have met and married Japanese men and had children and have made Japan Home. Have you heard the saying "Home is where the heart is"? Well it is true if you have the people you love around you, you can live almost anywhere. If you have anymore blue periods in Japan just write me and I'll answer you. One thing you should be proud of is you made it through one year in Japan, now you can live all most anywhere in this world. Take care. Linda-Day-Sakamoto

Hey! I just got accepted into the JET programme and begin in July! Thank you so much for this honest post after the honeymoon phase. ❤️

This was really inspiring. I'm a current JET applicant (interview was last week) and while I'd heard a lot about culture shock and rural loneliness blues, this was the first time it had ever been made to seem so real. Depression on JET is not a joke, and you really have to be strong and proactive to make it through. I'm glad you're doing much better now. If I ever find myself feeling the same way, I'll think back to this video as a reminder that as long as you don't give up, and keep looking to the future, you can survive anything.

I have been working as a researcher in rural India for a couple of months now. I live alone in a small town, away from home, and started getting the blues much sooner than I expected. Monsoon turned into something I loved back home to something I dreaded here. I have not been having a great time at work either and keep binge watching KZfaq videos when I am at my flat, and being really unproductive. Your letter really gave me some hope. Because of what you went through is somewhat similar, your positive outtake really started making sense to me and I have been trying to follow the vows you made myself. I do not know whether it's been working but at least I see some hope where I couldn't in the beginning. Thank you for this. Good luck with your new job and have a great time in Japan. Lots of love.

More than a year later and your letter is still moves me to tears about my own journey. It's a strange kind of comfort knowing that you aren't alone with this feeling of defeat sometimes, but no matter what we can always get through it. Thanks again Cara!

Hey Cara! First off I'd like to wish you an early happy birthday! My name is Josh Benner and I am beginning the first semester of my junior year (university) tomorrow morning. It is currently 12:19am and I visited KZfaq for something relaxing to watch before heading to bed. As you have probably experienced in the past, college is an insane roller-coaster that constantly has you questioning your motivation, dreams, and what you want to do in life -- that's at least how it has unfolded for myself. This video of yours, specifically, has left me completely and utterly inspired to say the least. This video has reminded me to own my decisions, whether negative or positive, and be proud of myself when I accomplish something. I loved hearing about your perspective of how your life differs from your friends -- how they are all becoming doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc while you're in Japan experiencing something truly amazing. I am a Pre- Physician Assistant student and I have been studying Japanese for 5 years now. I have been contemplating doing the JET program after graduating in the fall 2018 before applying to PA school. But, I often hit a road block (comparing my temporary halt in career, doing the JET program, while my friends are all progressing). Your video has made me realize that this is my life and I should do whatever makes me happy. I am sure the JET program will throw many challenges my way when I decide to apply and I feel very confident thanks to your many stories and reflection of your own experiences. Anyway, I hope my rambling was too terribly boring for ya. I really needed to hear all of this and I thank you so much for your videos. I'm sure you'll hear from me in more comments to come haha Take care!

Such a wonderful and honest letter. You’re an incredible writer and I’m so inspired. I hope you’re finding joy in wherever you’re at now!

Cara! My friends and I all received our interview invitations yesterday! ^_^ Thank you for these honest videos. You bring a great perspective and keep my expectations realistic. I hope you have a great new year!!

My experience teaching overseas wasn't exactly like yours, but this is a very good capture of what it feels like to be placed in a completely new situation and I vibe with a lot of what you're saying. It's good to hear someone else say it.

Thank you so much for posting this. I really appreciate you sharing your feelings in such an emotional yet composed way. I was just upgraded to the short list for JET last week and I leave for Japan sometime in September. Having very little time to prepare has made me very anxious and worried, and I'm afraid of those feelings overtaking my excitement. Your video really helped me calm down and look back at the reasons why I applied in the first place, even if there are reasons why I'm scared now. Thank you for your honesty and help! :)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings, I hope it's going really well for you now!

I am a fresh graduate and I understand about how hard it feels to transition from being a college student to an adult. It is tough, and still tough until now. I barely make a living on my own, even though I graduated from a national university with good reputation, and have a good GPA score as well. Now that I'm in this condition, I'm planning on teaching in Japan as an ALT to improve my quality of life. The anxiety and the "blues" will still be there, but I believe that it will be better than my current situation. That alone gives me some strength. I'm now fixated in my decision. I hope that I can be fully prrpared to teach there next year. Thanks for always giving us valuable information about living and working in Japan. You don't know how much that helps someone like me. Also, I wish you the best of luck in life.

Hello cara, Thanks for sharing your life in Joetsu.I am not living in Japan right now but I spent couple of years in Sakata (not JET) and drove to joetsu quite often and yeah those winter days :) beautiful landscape I certainly got astounding experience living up there nevertheless it definitely has some physical and emotional takes but seeing you I am happy that you are doing wonderful much better than me at least, remember it is Joetsu/Niigata which is making you what you are expressing and your conscious is your guidance. This is a wonderful moment in your life for self reflect I hope you will just go on the way you did until here just give it a little whistle and kampai.

Wow this is the most powerful and meaningful video I have since on youtube. You summed up all the lessons I have learnt over my life so far (I'm 26) and I'm glad that I'm not the only person thinking like this. I have watched a lot of JET programme videos on youtube but they are mostly negative. You have really inspired me to do the JET programme because everything I want to achieve aligns with your values and I hope I get to experience what you have in the future.

Thank you so much for this amazing video, Cara. My name is Alejandra and I'm here in Budapest, Hungary for a semester abroad in my junior year, which has been my dream since beginning college. I've battled with moderate depression throughout my college years and it relapsed while I've been here; I spent many days in my room not eating, crying, cooped up and in bed. I've had a really hard time pulling through my studies, and everything has seemed rather pointless, but your inspiring words put my mind back on the right track - appreciating what's right here in front of me while I still can. Obviously we have to take it one little step at a time, but it's good to know we have that shared experience and that we're not alone. I hope you're in a better place now, and may I say you're absolutely beautiful! :) I know the people who need to hear it most never hear it, and I just wanted you to know that.

Hi Cara, I've been thinking about applying to the JET program. Based on my previous study abroad experiences, I can see a lot of myself in you. I am both excited and scared about applying (perhaps next year in 2018) ; I would say about 50/50. I can perceive myself facing many of the same challenges you just described, so thank you for posting this video.

Thank you for the video Cara! I am mentally preparing myself anyway but your insight is invaluable. Kepp Vlogging!

Wow! What a video... Perhaps the best I have seen on KZfaq. I'm applying for the JET programme right now!

The whole section at 7:30 hit deep. I have definitely felt all that, It's nice seeing I'm not totally crazy! Very inspiring, keep it up!

As a guy that has lived most of my life in the rural norwegian countryside, I can sort of relate to the feeling of suddenly going from being surrounded by many people to suddenly living mostly by myself without alot of people around. Although it was the opposite way for me, going from living mostly alone to suddenly being stuck in a norwegian military-bootcamp surrounded by hundreds of other recruits 24/7. A change like that can be a bit difficult in the start, but as time goes one gets used to it. After some time the new way of living becomes normal, although in some cases it can take alot of time. Since your now living kind of rural(I think?) I would suggest finding some walking trails or roads, where you can enjoy nature for what it is around where you live. This will help you connect more with the new place your living. Best wishes, stay strong!

I'm hoping to hear back from JET about going to Japan this July, and I know I'll be looking at this video again. Probably multiple times as a reminder. You're very strong. The words you wrote to yourself spoke to me even now as I face a new adventure with excitement but also some trepidation. I think a lot of your words are universal to anyone, anytime, anywhere. "The day you begin to think that things look ordinary to you will be the day you lose curiosity about your surroundings." I really like this and I think it is good to be reminded of it.

Thanks for sharing. Enjoying the videos and finding them informative.

Happy early birthday, Cara! So happy to see this development for you. You seem like such a lovely person; even when trying to help yourself you create a helpful reminder like this for others. Hoping the best for you in this new year!

Good advice for anyone who is struggling... no matter where they are.

Thanks for sharing something so personal Cara. I admire you. I'm glad that you've been able to refocus on what's important and that you haven't given up in the face of adversity.

Thank you for sharing your story. This came to me at a perfect moment. It makes me excited for the challenges JET can bring. Sometimes you have to feel uncomfortable before the inner growth you need can happen. I'm rooting for you. Please continue to trust yourself and enjoy life. Learn everyday. Be well :)

Watching this in 2021 was impactful

You are wiser beyond your years.

Thank you for sharing this. It was very emotional and something that I needed to hear. Because sometimes, even as I live in my same life right now, I have to remind myself of all the accomplishments I have done so far when I'm feeling sad and unsuccessful and moving at a slower speed than most of my peers I went to school with. Also, happy birthday! :) I hope you have an amazing one and keep on being strong!

Happy birthday Cara! I was actually planning to apply as an Assistant Language Teacher in Japan and it's been my second day watching vlogs on how it is to be teaching and living in a foreign land miles away from home (by the way I'm from the Philippines). Your vlog has been so far the most honest ones that I have watched and I kind of like it. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and your thoughts, you never know how much it helped me in making my decision right now. I wish you luck and all the best in pursuing your dream. :)

This is so good! Thank you for sharing, Cara!!

This is the most honest video I've ever seen, it really shows your ability to reflect and improve as a person! Thanks for sharing this on KZfaq. Subscribed!

I just discovered your chanel and tbh it's really scary. You are so brave and I'm speechless now... my mom did the jet program and I'm really happy bc I love languages like she does so I'm working hard to have a chance to go to Japan :) I don't have a very interesting story to tell you right now bc I'm actually just 12 years old but I'm very determined to go in the jet program (the only thing that is reassuring me is that I have still some time to learn Japanese ). Btw, I'm actually French, what do you think of my English ? XXX, Victorine ❤

You're wonderful...

Very well said! I got shortlisted on March 27th and I'm just getting hyped and super excited watching videos from jets (mainly yours and myargonauts jason). I actually have yet to be in Japan, but my aunt did this program 28 years ago and I really want to live in Japan and truly hone my Japanese. Im grateful I saw this video It will help me stay on my guard and be myself during my coming adventure!! :)

Thank you for this, keeps expectations real! good thing youre feeling better now

See ya Cara! Happy Birthday!

Happiest of birthday's to you cara! Your videos are truly inspiring and insightful in so many ways - as I wish to move abroad to japan to not only make a difference in my life and truly define who I am, and my place in the world but also to be a significant impact on those around me. I hope that your future brings you much success in finding your place in Japan, your Japan home, and that when in doubt always remember this video and your own mission that you set out to do. You have the energy to keep achieving more so than you already have (which is so much!). Your videos are not only truly inspirational, but also have helped me define some aspects as was doubting in my own abilities to start my life in Japan in the near future. Hope that you birthday is spectacular, and that the future remains brighter than ever!

Thank you for this, Cara

I really, really love this video! Thank you for sharing it! I'll be applying to Jet next year and it is nice to hear about the good and the bad. I am very optimistic, but, if I am accepted, I know I will have those times when I feel down. This video will always be a reminder to keep going and to follow my dreams! 😊

This is beautiful and inspiring.

It's awesome how you put yourself out there like this. I think all of us ALTs can relate

I love your videos, your honesty and how true you are instead of sugarcoating. It makes me really resepect you! You just earned a new subscriber :D

That was BEAUTIFUL !

This was really great. Just found your channel through another one of your videos and watched this one. I went through this very thing a few years ago. I went to a top 10 university in the US. Went through 4 years of medical school. Was unhappy and now Im a software developer. Things will soon change as I launch a business that has nothing to do with software or medicine. Keep on Keeping on! Know that no matter what you are right where you are supposed to be!

Happy Belated Birthday Cara

Your an excellent writer

You're a beautiful writer. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Ty for your videos ^^ im coming as a jet next week and ive been cery scared

Thanks for sharing, hope your time in Japan is going well. Cheers!

Cara, you are my ALT role model. I wish I can meet you and be friends one day hahaha :) -incoming Canadian JET to Hyogo!

Thank you so much.

Hello! Thanks for posting your videos. You have a great positive attitude, and give a good example of what JET participants are like. I've got my JET interview in Washington DC in a couple weeks!

I'm in Korea, and this experience/feelings are SO similar to mine!

Great video! Thanks for posting.

Discipline is the most important thing in life. Not standing firmly in your culture, adventure and survival. Sons of Northen mountains. Queen of Winter's throne. Don'T show your weakness so much.

Remembrance is key.

Did I hear right that you're staying in Joetsu? If so, how is it there? I thought about listing it as one of my preferences.

You have a really wonderful writing voice; this was a great video. I wish you the best. :)

Happy Birthday!!

Almost a year after this video. You still here? Guess your bday's coming soon again. Happy birthday.

thank you for video, very inspiring

No words, really... :'( awesome...

this is amazing , thanks!

exactly what i needed

Cara any time you feel down contact me. I can make you laugh with all the things I've been through. By the way you are worried about the friends you left behind getting more settled than you. But I found out a funny thing. Recently, I've been in touch with some of the friends I went to High School, and University with, and when I was your age I worried about the same thing, them getting on with their career choses, but what I found out was while I was wondering about them they were envious of me. So take care that you too are getting on with your life and doing something interesting, that they are envious of you for doing. Good for you signing on for one more year. You won't regret it.

Good morning.💞 thank you cara.💞 Ｉ subscribed to your page. Ｉ will difinitely watch your you tube video. Ｉwill do my best with English. おはようございます。caraさん、ありがとう。 あなたのユーチューブ動画、登録しました。あなたのユーチューブ必ず見ます。 私は、英語の勉強がんばります。

Cara you are such a strong lady! Continue to be reflective.Take it one day at a time and enjoy the little things because you may not see Niigata for a long time when you finish your contract. P.S. Come visit me before I leave!

That was beautiful

I have a question. Can friends be located together when joining the Jet Programme?

I can totally relate to this.

Nicely done 👍

I m in Pennsylvania

miss you and love you :(

How often do you interact with other JET employees?

I m 51swm