They're just preparing you for retail at Wal-Mart.

"I just got that vibe from you" lmfao

Interviewer: You’ve never been tired at work. All the honest and experienced candidates: Disagree. Me, whose never had a job: Agree!

i asked a professional recruiter once why these questionnaires exist. He told me that if i ever see one of these lengthy questionnaires its because corporate thinks who ever is overseeing the hiring process is incompetent and untrustworthy. According to him it was a huge red flag that the company sucks. So far he's been 100% accurate

"Technically murder isn't the worst crime you can commit." He's not wrong.

The worst part about the tired question is the "I've slept adequately but still feel tired" dilemma

These personality tests are ridiculous. I can stock shelves, count money, and be friendly to customers which is all the job requires.

"You are the embodiment of perfection sent down to earth by god himself to look after the inferior human race" well that came from nowhere

i should be studying.

I worked for walmart for a bit. This is a little to real for me to like

I have done the wal-mart personality tests multiple times, I complety understand. Not even joking its a computer that marks those tests and if you don't pass a manager never see's you application.

"No matter what you say 50% of people will be so mad at you. I say just commit." Fucking nailed it.

Question 11: "I always make sure to donate my paychecks back to the company" A) Not at all B) Rarely ever C) On occasion D) Most of the time E) Slave

The embodiment of retail jobs that take themselves too seriously...

"Anyone who's agreed to that is a f***ing liar." "So..." "Agree." Lol

Had that about 2 years ago, the test was done on a PC, they told me that I should be as honest as possible so I was as honest as possible. After that I talked to them some more and they questioned me about literally every answer that might be mildly controversial. Then they had some more questions and I answered all of them as honest as possible as well. After that I talked to the other applicants there. All of them lied their way through the test and the job interview afterwards. All of them were hired, I wasn‘t because of my answers (they literally told me that), even though I was better qualified than every other applicant. If you‘re reading this, please listen to me: Dont be honest while doing these tests, because your honesty will be punished.

“Do you enjoy working in groups” to “Would you ever unionize with your workers”

My dad had to answer "are people fundamentally good" and answered no at a freaking bus driving gig. He should have said "you already know the answer to that if you have to ask it." They didn't hire him.

"You would rather see others succeed, than yourself" I actually got this question before and it's so weird and kinda annoying lol Like, I get that they're testing your good will or whatever the fuck, but you know, I'm not a psychopath. I won't _hate_ on someone who succeeds, prosperity to them, but I would also like myself to succeed, those 2 aren't mutually exclusive... In fact, I worked with a guy who had a bigger salary than me, and more privileges, and I still taught them stuff constantly, and kept helping, whilst doing more work than them (they had a tendency to take like 5 pauses of half-an-hour each, a day, while I basically just had lunch at my computer most times, while working)... I quit in the end because the bosses didn't hold their promises, not because he got rewarded more, props to him, man! ^^ Also this came to mind: 'Yes I actually enjoy seeing everyone else succeed while I stay in a rut, that must mean I'm perfect for the janitor position in your school! ^^ Sooo excited to start soon! I'll be making you the best coffees, and totally won't even think about poisoning a couple!'

lol, he killed me at the end, I had to answer those kinds of questions for my application and I work at walmart right now lol

-Are you a sociopath that doesn't care About human lives? -Yes -You're hired - School

would you ever steal? "no" would you ever lie? "no" god damn, this guy is the one we want.

I had one of those job tests once that had a bunch of questions like "Politicians are generally honest" "Politicians are looking out for the best interests of the people". Like for fuck's sake why am I answering these questions to work as a Toys R Us cashier?? These personality tests are worthless. The actual honest people - you know, people who won't steal from the company - won't pass them, but people who are big liars who might steal pass them without a problem. And once you figure it out, you can pass them as a mostly honest person. They don't help at all. I don't know why they can't put together relevant tests - like with scenario questions? "You're currently the only one working at the register, but there's suddenly a very long line of customers. There are no other employees in sight. What do you do?" Seems more relevant and useful than "The president is a good man, Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, Strongly Disagree".

"You intend on making jokes on the job?" Yes, yes I will.

OKAY so this is a true story: I have an identical twin brother. We aren't the same in every respect, but when he applied to work at the local Walmart where I was working, I had full confidence that he would get in. But sadly, during the application process he failed the personality test. For months he was pissed off that a place like Walmart claimed to be a perfect authority on what psychologically healthy workers look like, especially given that each question was its own trolley problem with no good answer. Meanwhile, 3-6 months pass, and by that time I've since submitted the notice and quit. But when my savings ran dry, I needed work again, and of everywhere I applied, no one had temp work for me before the upcoming college semester. So eventually, I bit the bullet and applied again for Walmart. I thought getting in good with (being socially nice to) the HR lady there had finally paid off, but sadly, it took weeks to contact her and when she finally did have time she told me to go re-apply online. So I applied online and took the same shit test that I passed the first time, and failed it. My mind wandered to the mentally-gone, piss-smelling, high as fuck degenerate stocking the fabrics that I met during my previous time there, and I was simultaneously both insulted that he had higher $$/hr than I did (when I was clearly more able in every single facet of life) and relieved that I didn't have to keep in his same company anymore. So yes, I have renewed hatred for corporations big enough to be small governments. EDIT: Things I actually like about Walmart: they had the highest pay for grocery retail in my area, and my managers were great people. It was the costumers and the corporate BS that drove me insane.

The “I prefer being around people of my own race” question is always the most bizarre thing to see on a questionnaire for any job, especially on the ones that don’t give you a neutral option, then you’re just forced to be racist

That's Sheldon Cooper at 0:34!

That "welcome to Wal-Mart" it do be like that. and if you fail it will say "try again in 6 months".

One thing that I thought was funny is when I got these kinds of tests applying for jobs like grocery stores, theatres ect. I'd call them up after applying and they explicitly told me not to fill in the somewhat disagree, neutral or somewhat agree bubbles because the computer that checks them will just write you off and throw your answers in the trash xD It's hard agree or hard disagree there is no inbetween. Course it's prob different if your answers are in person or viewed by an actual human being lol.

lmfao "welcome to wal-mart"

"Welcome to Wal-Mart"...haahahhaha, nailed it.

this was so hilarious and relatable, then Zach mentions welcome to walmart...hit me so hard lol great stuff

the “welcome to Walmart” at the end is the most accurate of this by far; I’ve been in interviews with so many questions about dedication, strengths/weaknesses, etc only for them to be applications for fast food restaurants

As a former Walmart employee, I can vouch for this hiring process 😂

Lmao these are all so great

these wholes ain't loyal HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I swear to god I had that kind of test last week after an interview that went REALLY well. Still haven't heard from them since. What a bunch of bullcrap.

"You've never been late to work" "You've never been tired at work" Both agree, because I haven't finished uni yet, so I haven't had a job.

Busting out the camera to ask loaded questions was brilliant

Keep making skits please, they're too good..they're helping me get through school

First!

Online job personality tests: *Yup, you're a truck driver*

For some reason my internet connection was lost after watching this video then I figured out that the electricity was lost in the house

"Who in the hell has never been tired at work?" Me - *falls asleep at desk every morning*

I showed this too my brother, and he said this is pretty much exactly how his interview went. However, he quit and is a flight nurse!

Sorry Zach, I prefer this second channel compared to the first one ROTFL

Thank you so much Zach. I literally had the worst day I´ve had for a month or something today and you just made it so much better. Thank you very much

"Welcome to Wal-Mart" fucking killing me :^)

This is one of the best youtube skits I've ever seen

I guess these personality tests are testing your ability to please customers by lying and saying what they want to hear

I had a question where it was “choose the one you most agree with” and it was between “I think my coworkers deserve less than me” and “I believe my way is the only right way to do something” genuinely made me not want to apply

There is a point in an interview where it's okay to thank them for their time and tell them their company probably isn't the right place for you, and then leave.

This was good 😂 subscribed!

Allow me to explain what these job personality tests are trying to do. In a nutshell, they are using a muddied version of typology to see if your type fits the role. Key word, 'muddied.' There is actually a simpler version of typology that can not only be done in four questions and is more accurate, but also can be worked into conversation. Using this efficient method, the interviewee never knows they're being typed. For anyone who's interested in these questions, keep reading. However, *consider this your warning.* This is using Myers-Briggs (also known as MBTI or 16 personalities): 1. Is the subject people focused or object focused? If people focused, the first and last letters are either E & J or I & P. If item/object focused, the first and last letters are either I & J or E & P. If people focused (E & J or I & P) ' 2A. Are they more likely to relay on outward ideas or internal ideas? If outward focused, the first and last letters are E & J. If inward focused, the first and last letters are I & P. If item focused (I & J or E & P). 2B. Do they prefer to limit and organize the amount of data, or continuously expand but never organize data? If they limit information, the first and last letters are I & J. If they limit information, the first and last letters are E & P. Next steps apply to both subjects of 2A and 2B. 3. Overviews and analogies or details? Do they speak in analogies or describe things in overviews? If so the second letter in N. Do they speak and describe things in fine detail? If so the second letter is S. 4. Logic, facts and puzzles or opinions, values and emotions? Do they seem to be more focused on logic, facts or see everything as a puzzle? If so the third letter is T. Do they seem to be more focused on opinions, values or emotions? If so the third letter is F. Letter Legend: E & J - Extroverted Judging I & P - Introverted Perceiving I & J - Introverted Judging E & P - Extroverted Perceiving N - Intuitive/Intuition S - Sensing T - Thinking F - Feeling Each of these 16 types have there own stack of cognitive functions. If your interested enough to have read this far, I suggest looking at a KZfaq channel by the name of Frank James. He covers all of this in a much clearer way, and also goes into cognitive functions. If you have read this far to yell at me for writing this, and trying to find a weakness to exploit, you are probably an ESTP, ESFP or INTP. PDF Files if you care: Formula - file:///C:/Users/Daniella/Documents/Psychology/Formula.pdf Comprehensive Chart - file:///C:/Users/Daniella/Documents/Psychology/MBTI_Chart.pdf Frank James MBTI playlist: kzfaq.info/sun/PLXL6w5TIYCq9GUBFV0lRKomnCmDzw8jlg -An INTJ of the highest order.

So glad I discovered this channel! Hilarious

Your channel is severely underrated.

"Well I feel like if you know you're working the next day you can easily plan on when to go to bed," he said to people watching this video at 2am who have work in the morning

Holy sh*t the last section hits truthfully hard. Great guide by the way

I hate jobs that do these types of questions. Even though he’s exaggerating, i still feels like the applicant, reading their poorly designed questions

"Welcome to Walmart" IM DECEASED 💀

This is hilarious. :-) Subscribed!

Zach:- "Welcome to wal-mart" Me:- "Oooh it makes so much more sense now." They are just testing his patience to see if he can actually work in retail. Cuz bitches do be crazy and in retail we call them Karens

That twist at the end was perfect!

I should’ve found this way before I applied to jobs that never called me back. Though honestly, I have applied three times to a job at White Castle and they hired me right on the spot because they were desperate this time. Those other times they did not want me at all. Kind of hate the fact that getting a job is so much harder now! Even with these crazy surveys.

“Steal something from work day”

Lmaooo once I did a quiz for a job to clean at a GYM. They asked shit like u like problems that require a lot of thinking. Like bruh imma be cleaning vomit off floors, not building rockets

I fr got one that said "I oftentimes give up when a task is too hard / I easily give up on tasks" I had no neutral or anything just had to choose which I agree with more. There is NO winning that.

As someone who works at Walmart I chocked on my air at the last bit

How to survive the blue shirt guy: Just answer his question with another question

Nailed it! I’m extremely bad at these or the companies I apply for, aren’t asking the right questions.

What about the times they put in like a quadruple negative so you don’t know if you’re agreeing or not

Watched this on my lunch break at Walmart and almost spit out my drink at the end

Could you imagine if at the end he said... "Welcome to Coca Cola!"

I am so glad I applied to some jobs before finding this video, it's so accurate lol

Just recently during an interview I was asked if I was a permission or forgiveness type of person?! It was such a preloaded bs question, I immediately realized I didn't want to work for them in any capacity.

I’m literally got a job at Walmart 3 days ago this is very very true

As someone who applied and worked at Walmart, I have to say this is accurate

That is so Walmart and when you answer honest they don't hire you...spot on Zach...too funny and sad at the same time.

Questions so open to interpretation and context the only way to pass is to have a brain wired exactly the same as the interviewer. Clearly not a workplace that values tolerance or diversity.

No way!! The whole video I was thinking, these sound just like what you get asked on the Walmart assessment. Then the end 🤣🤣🤣

Well, as someone who did apply for Wal-Mart once and I think I remember them having a ridiculous quiz like that... Yeah. Wal-Mart is weird.

Hey Zach you're a funny guy. I'm glad I found your videos

Some of these questions caught me off guard.

welcome to Walmart? I applied there then got an interview scheduled and then 3 days later I got an email saying they cancelled my interview for literally no reason

This video should have been made 10 years ago. Gold

Personality tests are only accurate when scored by a licensed psychologist. The Navy made be do a personality text in order to work under water. But it is done by a Psychologist and I passed. I would sue if some rando HR tried wanted to test me.

The “welcome to Walmart got me”

when he said "Welcome to Walmart" that's what had me

The “Welcome to Walmart” at the end got me

The last part got me! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Shoutout to everyone who has had to go through one of these. Totally didn’t steal this from the description

This was hilarious lol. Keep it up.

Maybe later look up the "I have a dream speech" I laughed so hard then 🤣🤣🤣

i had basically this exact experience when i applied for wal-fart over a decade ago... one of the questions was about having a drink with you while on the clock, and i said "disagree. though i don't drink alcohol", and the guy said "i never said alcohol...", and wrote something in his notes...

The job: *someone walks in* *press + button* *someone walks out* *press - button*

When he said the last line I almost screamed out loud 😆

Got an ad for Walmart after this ended

- good thing or bad thing? - good thing

Best line: "50% of people are gonna be so mad at you, so may as well commit"

The only people who are never late and never tired have nothing going on at home and can somehow always have perfect transportation and spend their free time actually studying traffic before going anywhere.