The only thing worse than being alone is being trapped with people you can't stand.

"Home is where people notice when you're not there." Damn.. I’m getting weepy eye.

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” - Jodi Picoult 💯

Wow, crazy how true this is. During Covid, I never felt more lonely. 30 years old, living alone, no pets, nothing. Just an empty quiet house. Nothing but my thoughts, and sleepless nights. I found myself going out to eat a lot more often, just to be around people. As men we don’t want to admit things like this, but I realized I was lonely. I was disconnected. I had material things, but inside I was empty. You start to realize what’s important in life. You start to take a look at your life, and it becomes depressing when you have no meaningful connections with anyone. No father. No wife. No children. Friends who are all busy with their families. 30 hits different, and your view on the world changes. All you can do is keep the faith and just bare the most responsibility you can in your life. This will at least offer some relief, and make you tired enough to go to sleep at night and not just sit there. Go for a run, work as many hours as you can, so you can be so physically exhausted that you pass out. It’s the only way without medication, when you are alone and have no one. As men, no one really cares. We just have to put our boots on, go to work, and have faith that something greater is out there for us.

It's weird how lonely one can feel in a city full of millions of people...

One of my favorite Jung quotes: “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.”

I'm 52 and I lost my 14 year old daughter without warning 7 years ago. In the aftermath of her death, I split from my long-term partner (20 years together). I now feel so disconnected. It is so strange to not be part of a family unit.

what hurts the most is being surrounded by people who make you feel alone.

I hate being single, but the way most people are these days makes me want to stay single.

I live an extremely isolated life. I work, I go to the gym six days a week, and I go grocery shopping when I need to. That's it-wash, rince, cycle, repeat. Does it bother me? Surprisingly not really. Most of my friends moved away after college, my mom died due to cancer, and my sister and I were never really close. I learned to just be happy with what you have, that's really the only thing that will keep you sane. Loneliness can be a path to self destruction, but it doesn't have to be. The world is a very cold place, where loved ones die, relationships fail, people get fired, and your health can change over time. The only thing that YOU can be absolutely certain of is that NOTHING is certain, and nothing lasts forever. It may not be the answer we all wish to hear, but facing this has helped me adapt to a difficult transition.

My grandfather died of loneliness after my grandmother died. Even when we seen him nearly every day after for almost a decade. We just couldn’t fill the void but atleast made his life somewhat more easy. I remember waking up at 4am every morning for years to go to breakfast with him in the morning. And lunch at 10:30-11. And visiting with him later before he went to bed after family feud at 7. I sure do miss him. I miss them both. They were the meaning of true love.

This is why young men get into sports. I promise when you truly get invested in a program and when you get multiple young men invested in a program it becomes an infectious family. the aspect of a family comprised of young men the same age is a truly motivating thing to the individuals in the team/family.

Loneliness is hell. Solitude is peace.

its weird how the screen simultaneously connects us and divides us to such a vast degree.

I'm 32, live alone, no girlfriend, my friends are all marrying and having kids, others just don't look for me. I work at home and I spend almost all of my time staring at the PC screen working or doing other stuff like gaming, or watching random yt videos... It wasn't always like this, I used to have lots of people around me but it feels like suddenly I'm all by myself. Well, almost, I still have my parents and I have 2 brothers, and I feel gratefull for that. But thinking about what my life will be in a decade or so its scary and sad. I mean, it's already sad now... I feel alone, abandoned, sad, depressed, I'm a grown ass man and I cry almost everyday because I feel lonely. And I'm not even ashamed of saying it... I'm too tired of this to feel shame. I will never end myself, but some days I don't feel like doing anything, just existing is depressing... And I too think depressions is mostly caused by social factors, I never felt like this a few years ago. At least not this often or with this intensity. I will never take pills or any of that and I do have hope that my life will change. But one thing that I've learn from loneliness is that we need people to share our happiness, a life without people around you is an empty life.

I spent 11 years in prison and got out 18 years ago. I wasted another 17 years never having a family. I didn't know how alone I was until I just had twins last year at 47. I've been saved.

I'm 28, I live in Argentina. I have a couple of friends but I don't really feel conected to them, or anyone. And then I look around and feel that lots of people are in the same situation. I see a lot of insecurity in people's eyes, also a lot of sadness and emotional stress. Our society is very sick...

I feel like the way we live is not shaped for the human spirit

Loneliness is NOT about being alone. It's about a mismatch between one's social expectations and reality. One can be lonely in a crowd or feel fulfilled with solitude. Loneliness is a widespread problem but it is very different for different people.

I'm from South America, lived in the States for a while. I really liked living there, but there is a problem of loneliness in the US. I am not sure why, probably the enormity of the country, or the way cities are built or the culture that makes it such an efficient place, but I saw incredible loneliness amongst my coworkers. Now I live in my hometown roughly 250K people, its a walkable city, and every time I go out I meet some 6 to 7 people I know, sometimes relatives of mine. It's one of the puzzles in my life, what makes the US such a lonely place.

Been through a lot of things in life, but loneliness is by far the worst.

I want friends that have the same KZfaq recommendations as me

My aunt came to visit us here in the US from South America. After a few days she said she wanted to go back because she missed hanging out with her neighbors and friends because they hang out every night. Here, we get home, lock our doors and hardly see our neighbors much less hang out with them.

I think we were suffering from loneliness for a very long time and covid has made us realize how much it is important to connect with each other.

I would say that those lone wolf type of people are rare. I would not recommend to anyone to stay alone for rest of his/her life. I am introverted as fuck but I noticed that longer I stay disconnected from other people the more depressed and insane I become. You start to believe all of your stories (good or bad) as universal truth because there is none to tell you that your ideas are completely insane.

“Once you know how to take care of yourself company becomes an option not a necessity.” - Keanu Reeves

7 yrs in solitary confinement, no human contact. I know there's something different about me. This gives really good insight as to what i was feeling in there. Thanks for the great people you bring on to your show.

What really sucks is when you can feel the loneliness in your chest as pain

I’m Cuban born and raised. Yes, there’s poverty, misery and a lot of bad things in Cuba. I never had a bike or toys or PlayStation , but me and my friends had the beach, rivers and lakes to swim, 1 bike to share for all the kids, we were outside all the time, running, playing soccer or baseball or basketball, maybe watch tv at night after coming back home late. Maybe spent the day fishing or looking fruits in the wild. There was nothing else to do, just to hang around with friends. No need for a gun, no need for a game console, just you, your friends and the whole world out there to discover, no depressions, no suicidal thoughts, just having fun.

Most of my life, I never really felt lonely. Then I got stage 4 cancer and (at first) a lot of people go out of their way to show that they care, but only if it is something public or they could bring up how "inspirational" i was (usually for doing the simplest things) and get credit just for hanging out with me. It felt a little forced or extra from some people, but at least people were there. After a few months though, people start avoiding you or dropping you from their lives silently, you see yourself go from having people check in on you on a regular basis to having no one call or even text for months on end. Then they get mad at you for mentioning that you haven't heard from them lately and they act like you are too needy (because contacting close friends, seeing if they could come by once every couple months is "exhausting," apparently). Dying alone and in excrutiating pain in my 30s and all I ever hear is negativity and that I'm not grateful enough (if I hear anything at all). Loneliness amplifies the pain and the pain makes you wish there was anything you could do to distract yourself from it, but when people only contact you to tell you how their problems are worse (than dying from cancer, i really don't understand how people can do that with a straight face), steal your medications, or ask for something from you, you can't help but want to die even sooner. I feel like I still have a lot of life left in me despite the pain, but without people or really much of any resources (cancer is just about the most expensive thing you could ever imagine), I truly, deeply understand why relationships are so important, but the longer I live the more people I lose (this is over the course of 2 years or so) and while the pain from cancer in my bones and the chemo-induced neuropathy in my left hand makes it essentially nonfunctional (yet hurt 24/7), there's nothing more painful than knowing you will die alone in agonizing pain long before even just your 40th birthday. I wish people actually cared about each other. And, sure, maybe its selfish but i wish anyone, at this point literally anyone, cared at all about me.

I am heading this way... 45 yrs old... was focused on my career and now because of covid the career is in the shits.. no friends.. no significant other..financially ruined and my family lives overseas.. Started to take anti depressant last month because it was difficult to even get out of bed.

I was a super high achieving student in a crazy competitive field. And no matter what else I did- exercising outside, vacationing, hanging out with people, etc, the most joy and peace and LIFE I’ve ever felt during that time was when I just turn off my phone, go out into my parents garden, spend 2 hours picking weeds, picking my lettuce and kale, bringing it inside, spending another hour picking through it meticulously, then making a salad from scratch and sitting down and eating it.

Dog is man’s best friend. They always notice when you are gone.

The realest people dont have alot of friends -Tupac

Home is where people notice you’re not there Sometimes I feel like extremely lonely, I have lived in the same house alone since getting out the Army for 13 years. As time goes on people move on, it gets old convincing yourself to be grateful or not feel bad because it’s selfish. I completely agree with what they talk about. Money, nice things , travel the world , never replaces a person you deeply care for.

It has to be the height of irony that we live in an age where the ability to communicate has never been so abundant (cell phones, internet, fax, ground lines) . I mean EVERYONE has a phone right next to them 24/7. And yet actual meaningful communication is near zero.

Everyone suffers, but everyone hides it. If everyone was more open about it, everyone would suffer less. The problem is that everyone kind of sucks, and everyone knows it.

I learned how lonely we are in States after experiencing a small poor village in South America. The children clung to me and shared their food although they were still hungry. I went there as an outsider but treated was treated as if I was one of them. I think that is what is lacking in States. We are too polite to barge in to other’s lives and too scared to clash with others. We never really connect outside of social media. Loneliness grows deeper as we learn to be not honest to ourselves and just put a facade on our Instagram accounts.

I'm in my forties, I've never been married, No kids. Not even many relationships in my life. There are some lonely nights and it gets depressing. However, my father said loneliness will make you stronger and he is right. I've gotten used to it, It motivates me the loneliness to go to the gym and I've built my body pretty well over the years. My meditation keeps my mental state healthy as can be as well.

I'm 24 and I've never felt like I've fit in. I've spent my late teens onwards devoid of true communal kinship. I have a few friends here and there which I almost never see. Some people do care about me, but I've not had any success in forming a real community. Outside of my family, I'm nobodies favourite person. I am a loner. I also have poor discipline, I'm insecure and I've never tried my hardest at anything. I am making strides and in 10 years time I hope I am still healthy and I have done myself justice. I know I'm capable but it won't be easy and I don't know if I can hack it.

I've felt loneliness in crowded NYC, where no one really sees me or looks at me... but when I was in a beautiful bucolic setting, in the country side... I felt at peace. Not lonesome. And there was no one else there.. is that fucking weird or what?

Swear down I learn more from KZfaq comments than I ever did in school . You're all fascinating creatures. Have a beautiful day 😆😆

When I was in my teens and early 20's, loneliness was a really palpable emotion. I would legit feel depressed if I had to spend a prolonged period of time by myself. Now after 30, when it comes to socializing I can take it or leave it. Idk if it's just getting older or possibly the covid lockdowns changing my perspective, but my interest in going out is legitimately non existent. Just the process of getting ready, showering, getting dressed, taking a 40 minute train ride to the city then an additional subway while dealing with crowds of people just to grab dinner or drinks, a relaxing night in watching a movie or show from the comfort of my home sounds much more appealing lol

I'm 43 and never had a family growing up my mom was always partying I haven't talked to her in 20 years and I never met my biological dad it made me tough and strong physically but always affected me mentally even though I would never admit it now I suffer from addiction .I hope and know I will beat this problem and find happiness one day.

Ever try to meet your neighbor? They look at me like I'm trying to steal their credit card

Sometimes when I feel lonely I remind myself that some of my most beautiful experiences were ones I went through alone

I love being alone, the only time I feel stress or anger is when I have to interact with other people. When it’s just me I’m at total peace. Wish everyone else was as secure with being alone as I am.

I'm a Brazilian and I been in America for a little longer than one year. Everyone there was very lonely older or younger. I believe that's a lot because of the culture Americans really live in their own bubbles but right now because the lifestyle became so fast and also social media people are isolated in it. Brazilian people are very social and talk to anyone anywhere If you try to cheap chat with an American it's almost like you're cursing them

I've dealt with PTSD depression and anxiety on an unprecedented level most of my life due to Serious trauma and an incredible amount of abuse when I was younger. I became addicted to all kinds of things mostly alcohol. I live alone and all my friends are several hours away. But I became best friends with someone who is one of the most happily married people I've ever known, they're both some of the best people I've ever known and they have a really big family that's awesome and they are very positive and happy most of the time. I started going to their house to hang out on a regular basis. One time I stayed for several days over a weekend. One of the things I noticed in hindsight after I would leave and go home was that I realized that I didn't crave a drink. Not once. My depression went completely away in my anxiety too. All of the obsessive negative thoughts that I have constantly 24 hours in my head just completely disappeared. I realized at some point when it hit me that what happened was my environment changed. I realized that when I walked through the door of my friend's house his kids would run up to hug me and I felt like I had a sense of belonging. We would play games or I would help my friend put in a garden or do some work around the house. They treated me like I was one of their own. And so it's no surprise that all of us need some kind of community or tribe around us. A sense of belonging. A lot of my negative thinking and addictions went right out the window when I planted myself in the right environment. I still struggle occasionally with certain things but since then I've made a conscious decision to put myself in better situations and environments and force myself to not stay as lonely and isolated as I have been. The difference is night and day. If you struggle to with any of these kinds of things, I would encourage you even if you don't feel like it to change your environment and situation. It might not be easy but it will certainly help you create a balanced positive Baseline to start from and go forward from there. Also as a side note exercise has recently been the other big thing that has changed the game for me. A lot of times I don't feel like exercising but I force myself to get up and go for a vigorous Sprint through the neighborhood or do hundred push-ups and drink lots of water. Now that I've given myself over to exercise better nutrition and a sense of belonging with some good friends things have started to change dramatically. I hope you will do the same. Love and peace.

I really like Joe Rogan. He's a very good listener and a great conversationalist.

When I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, it actually helped me a lot. It’s still hard but it helps me to understand and listen to my body, which makes it easier to not fall in it. Instead of me here thinking it was all laziness. I think some people do need to hear their diagnosis to help them become aware of themselves and the state that they are in so that they can progress and maneuver through life.

Work notices when I'm not there. I would not consider that home.

We spend our whole lives as children wishing we were adults and we spend our whole time as adults wishing we were kids. When we are with people we often would prefer to be alone yet when we are alone we often wish we were with people instead. We often wish we had wealth. When we have wealth we envy those without wealth who can find their joy in simple things. The grass is always greener....only until you're on the other side.

There’s millions and millions of people around us but yet we’re lonely. It doesn’t make sense.

Crazy how we used to laugh and feel sorry for the Amish. Now I completely get it! They were the ones laughing all along at us. Our society is so fucked up

I'm upset he didn't talk about how detrimental the internet is to depression. Social media is a huge factor into creating anxiety for people nowadays.

I'm 57 now . I moved almost my whole life especially when I was young . Two years here two years there . I never had the chance to really connect with anyone . There's not someone for everyone . Love is only for the lucky ones . Reality sucks ..

Im 60 yrs old when i was younger i was lonely all time. Was married 2 times had a few kids and i hated feeling lonely i had friends but i got to a point where i realized most of the people i know wasnt really friends women always screwed around i know alot of the men do to but i dont go out with men. So i got to the point where i started staying away from people and i started feeling much better. Once every 3 to 6 months its was nice to go out and eat with a friend but that was plenty. I dont know why anyone wouldnt want to be alone its so much more peaceful

I'm 59 and no children no family no connection to anything. I saw this coming my way my whole life. Just the way it is. I was married twice and I was lonely in the marriages. Being alone doesn't translate to loneliness.

I'm in a wheelchair, so its socially awkward going out, but I got my best friend by my side, my dog.

I used to play random movies (dvds at the time) over and over just to hear other voices in my apartment, and it made me feel like people were there, and I could hear them from the other room, but I was completely alone. Now I could care less about a TV or movie box. It took a while to learn how wonderful the natural sun feels on my face … self love is not selfish, but necessary. The necessary starting point 🌺

I would rather wake up alone! than, wake up and wish I was alone..

Technology is truly both a blessing and a curse...

One thing that help me get through loneliness is finding a hobby and keeping busy.

I’m lonely in the US, when I travel abroad, I make genuine friends easily

“It’s better to be Alone, than to wish you were Alone”. - DAD

Being around my family is soul draining & I've been in relationships with a person yet it was the loneliest time of my life. You can't rely on other people to make you less lonely.

I realize how “pretentious freshman philosophy student” this is going to sound, but really, as a post-college person struggling with loneliness, my life was completely changed by what I read. The Tao Te Ching is amazing. It taught me to counteract the harmful normative values of the western world. It taught me that being obscure, unnoticed, and silent is a beautiful and righteous way to live. We place so much value on how others perceive us, but when you realize that this doesn’t matter at all, you become free.

Loneliness is everywhere not just America.

Nothing is worse than feeling lonely in a room full of people.

They tried to put my daughter on stimulant meds, saying she would never function without them. She graduated from college with a 4.0. They tried to put me on an antidepressant. I just needed exercise. They medications are appropriate for some people, but damn, not everyone!

The older I get the more I face the reality that I will be alone and lonely for the rest of my life. I never wanted it that way but no matter how much I try, people just don’t want to be around me and or I don’t want to be around them because I see how nasty and terrible people are.

If your 70 childless and lonely there are always children standing by to be adopted. Your never alone because children are never alone. Right now there’s a child with no parents who is suffering from loneliness and abandonment. You can step in and totally heal that child’s life, and heal your own life by healing their life.

Thank you for this. I'm 54. Only child. Have no kids and I struggle with this. Thank ya Joe

there's a saying that goes: "If you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together"

I was single for 10 years until 3 weeks ago, it can happen guys. Don't give up.

I wish here in the west that we’d focus on mental recovery for ppl. There’s so many angry and horribly sad young men and woman and decisions are blurred and quickly made when the mental space isn’t clear and joyful or calm but yet we want to solve every effect of the condition instead of going to the root of condition to fight it.

"There are worse things than being alone but it often takes decades to realize this and most often when you do it's too late and there's nothing worse than too late."

True loneliness isn't just feeling alone. It's also having people around you but being unable to connect with any of them. A level of isolation that makes you feel like being in a foreign land with people of your own culture. Has single-handedly caused the whole array of social anxiety disorders here in the most crowded societies on earth

I thought I was lonely, then I started eating better and working out and making music, and I realized I didn’t really need company or friends 24/7, and I’d rather be alone doing what I love. Sometimes you can fix loneliness

I married really young, My wife and I rased three wounderfull children, and We help them while they were raseing there kid's, and We were a very close family, Now with the viruses BS, I don't see any of them anymore, Don't kill Grand pa. But at 74, I have no one and my great grandkids hardly know Me, I just should have waited and outher 15 years before I go married, and I would have had My Family to help me Die, All My friends, still have there Grandkids,. They have gotten so used to avoiding me, until now they don't even call anymore. It really is making me so sick, with being so lonely. It's like being sick in person.

This is a really good clip. Something I needed to hear exactly in this moment. Thank you 🙏🏼

Solitude brings self awareness and getting in touch with the inner self. Loneliness can be a tool, but too much isn't good. Humans are social creatures.

"One year of love is better than a lifetime alone" -Freddie Mercury

I’ve been single, and haven’t had any contact whatsoever in 9 whole years. Mostly I am able to handle the self isolation as an introvert. However, there are times when the loneliness turns to deep depression and fear.

Loneliness can be a deeper issue for some people. Some people lack empathy for understanding that other people have their own stuff going on. If you are wondering why people can't read your mind it's because the world doesn't revolve around you BUT (importantly) if you can learn to be truly grateful when someone offers their ear to hear what you may be going through that is a solution. The gratitude allows you to be in the moment, which allows you to bond and lose some of the loneliness. The bonding creates friendships. BTW we all have A LOT more in common with each other than we do differences.

Japan is a perfect example of what's going to happen to the west in the next couple decades in terms of the amount of single people there. It's extremely cliched, but technology is causing loneliness on an unprecedented scale. It's rotting our mind.

The pain of loneliness is excruciating, when I was younger, I felt like I had time to rake care of the problem, but now that I'm 36 I feel like my time Is running out...this breaks my heart...

Nothing wrong with being alone. Its nice. You don't have to worry about anything. Focus on your hobbies, money, job. Its pretty good. I dont have anyone to tell me anything or hold me back.

you can never be happy around others if you cant be happy alone first. Being alone isnt bad, whats bad is being around people who make you feel alone.

"If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. . ." - Maxwell Maltz

I'd say the biggest problem is that we are being made to live longer but not being told how to properly live.... I don't even know why ppl enjoy being alive, a lot of ppl are dying out there mentally... And for what? New car? House? And then die anyway?

Do not mind growing old. So many have been denied the opportunity. I myself am one of those fitting Joes description at the beginning at 59yrs. I find it increasingly difficult to motivate with each passing year.

I wish I had a buddy I could talk to like Joe, he is such a good listener

Just got dumped by the one person in the world I trusted with my life. I’m devastated

Most of us have two options. 1 - Be alone 2 - Be with people who you can't stand, and want to avoid

I deal with loneliness and rage everyday of my life.

Being present and having a plan is definitely better than having money

a big problem of today is over thinking things too

I'm learning to be my own best friend. Someone I can count on.