Most nice people aren't actually nice. They're just afraid of conflict.

It’s pure art to know when to be agreeable and when to tell someone to fuck off.

This man is an absolute legend on earth, may he live a great life doing what he loves!

My parents fight every single f*cking day, since I was born. I am 21 now and they still do it. That made me extremely agreeable since I hated screams and violence, but recently I realized that's making my life harder. It's hard to take decisions for myself, and also to convey my thoughts to others, specially my girlfriend, since she's also agreeable. She wants me to take the initiative on things and also take the lead on decisions, but then I also end up wanting her to do so cause of that agreeableness. I also quit college 4 times, only to end up wanting to try again. I'm a man, but I don't act like one, and that's not cause I don't want to, I'm just not used to do it. Conflicts were bad when I was young, and I just wanted a way to not suffer. I'm trying my best, Dr. Peterson's videos are clearing my mind and making me think more deeply about me.

Sitting at work crying trying to be a better man. Thinking about all my failures and how I left so much go without a fight. For the rest of my life I will no longer hold my tongue or be reserved. I have to be free and if you’re enduring something like this, you’re a god in a human body! Not only can we do it, we can succeed 💙. I wish greatness to everyone who pursuits it.

I feel called out and let me tell you, it's refreshing! It pinpointed exactly why I've struggled. I try to be too agreeable and that often means putting people's needs before my own. I'm not doing that anymore in 2023. This is the year I look out for myself and become the person I've always wanted to be. I understand what I need to do now.

At almost 50 this is me… I have spent my work life in professional service position… I make a very good living, but holy cow… building consensus, agreeing with people, not causing conflict, keeping everyone happy, not being able to be me or say what I think, etc… it’s draining.

this is absolutely true. Ive always been the good guy but recently i was with rude people that were using me and had to evolve and standup for myself to survive. Avoiding conflict is really only useful short-term like with people you probably wont meet again but they will be there for longer time its only making it worse, you HAVE to face the issue

Anyone else trying to heal from nice guy syndrome?

I'm 21 and i see a lot of myself in what he says and I know he's right. The solutions he gave to highly agreeable people and disordered people came up to my head a lot of times, but I just can't manage to be consistent in those exercise and that's because I'm also a very undisciplined person, and I think that this combo of defects are the worst because they keep me in a circle where I try to change and then just give up on it. It's sad man because deep down I know I'm wasting my life... Edit: I’m currently 22 and i think i changed a lot from when i wrote this comment, I’m more self confident and more productive and focused on everything i do. I wanted to thank everyone for the support, this is the good side of youtube and i hope it will never change, thanks everyone and keep going, the answer is right in front of you you just have to believe in yourself❤.

I cannot get over how simple this sounds, but how difficult it can be to put into practice! Mr. Peterson is an amazingly insightful person!

This guy is just brilliant! A gift from God to all of us!! We're just so damn lucky to be alive at the same time.

A bucket list item for me is to attend on of Dr. Petersen's lectures. I am always enthralled by his enthusiasm for and command of the subject matter.

The 1st few sentence hits me, i admit that's me, i was taken advantage on and now I'm put myself 1st, not in a selfish way, and it change my life to better

in the first 3 minutes I already learned quite a bit about myself. This is worth the watch and to come back to later to see how you've come along.

I find so interesting to listen his lectures again. Is so gripping and motivating ❤

My portfolio recently reached 6-figures, and here's what I have to say. It is important to carefully analyze your options and keep an eye on the economy when investing during inflation. Make sure your portfolio consistently reflects your risk tolerance and financial objectives by reviewing and rebalancing it. A financial advisor can offer tailored advice based on your unique situation and assist you in navigating the challenges of investing during inflationary periods.

The solutions to a significant portion of the issues that plague humanity are embedded in these 12 minutes of pure brilliance.

This is a blessing to watch. I often stress myself out trying to mind what i say to others. When i didnt care about anything but telling the truth i felt better about myself even though people would always say i offended them.

It's good to be a nice guy. That's not the problem. Don't be a wimp or a creep or a pushover. Be sufficiently assertive and sufficiently disagreeable. I wish people would stop making the term "nice" a code word for bad things. Go ahead, everyone, be nice. It's good to be nice. Don't be confused by slang that people come up with. "Don't be nice" or "stop being nice" is not good advice, it's clickbait that may or may not have good, nuanced advice behind it.

One of the greatest minds of our generation. I recommend hearing everything this man says & then actually taking the time to think about it in retrospect of your own life.

Thankyou for teaching me how to fix my life. You have no idea the damages that you've undone. I'm forever grateful to you sir.

That guy speaks so much sense love to sit down with him for couple of Hours and have a good chat 👍🏻🙏 Very knowledgeable

Stumbled on this video and just WOW!!!!! Amazing Truly. Opened my mind literally made me feel some type of way. THANK YOU

Jordan Peterson is a gift. He can explain things in a way that speaks to our hearts. Educational and motivating, makes us think “I can do that!”

Damn this video hit much harder for me, I did fall behind a long time ago and never really recovered, became unsocial, always felt like I did not belong anywhere, now Jordan Peterson told me exactly how I got in this position, the mistakes my parents did that led me down this path. Now I know what I must do as a parent in the future so my kid wont fall on the same path as me, which was one of my biggest fears.

This is a life-time lesson. I wish the best for Jordan because he is doing his best to make positive changes. I can't repect this guy enough.

Mr. Petersen makes a lot of great points as far as having differences between being too nice and low key being more honest with your feelings and/or opinions. I am very much the person who don't like to rock the ocean. And at times, I do feel like I get ran over because I'm so agreeable. And he has a good perspective on introverted individuals. My current shift is majority introverts which at times I have a hard time reaching or communicating with them. Definitely a challenge that I'm learning and helpful for my development as a leader and as a trainer.

I’m so agreeing person and the reason for that is that I try to avoid conflict. When things get out of my control then I’m not the nice person that you knew. I know what I want and I’m glad I’m nice person.

I am still at the age of 47 always trying to put the interest of others first rather than mine and people took lot of advantage of it and If I didn't do just once how and what they want they suddenly start ignoring me and forget about what I did so well in the past. Trying to learn still that you cannot make everyone happy.

Thank you for your very existance in the world and for sharing your wisdom Jordan 🙏

I'm done being angry with the world . Thank you man 🙏 one day when I'm famous encourage people to listen to your voice and your words inspired me to get as far as I have in the past couple months thank you

Working with a financial expert could truly set you up for life. I'm delighted I was able to contact my coach Karim .E. Karim earlier this year because while others were busy whining about the downturn I was busy cashing out finally making over 370k only for the first quarter of the year.

This man changed my way of thinking when I was in a truly dark place and I’ll always be grateful to JP for that. A truly gifted, wise and kind man. I wish him a long and happy life.

I have to say that his voice Is "pill of happiness" for me. I enjoy myself, I'm not unhappy herson, but listening in addition to such intelligent person is eye-opening and greatly inspiring. And I like the fact that Jordan and I share the same trait - explaining with hand movements, they just look exactly the same. You just got a new subscriber, and share this golden knowledge so that you can get more and more subscribers. It's win win

Gosh this is so true I'm such a overly sweet agreeable person and damn it is so much draining, emotionally and physically 😭

Thank you for brilliant advice. It is family saving information.

I will never stop being myself, if it means that i will be forever alone or not liked by other people than thats my life.

Please keep the conversation and information coming to the light

Thank you Mr. JP, what a great thinker you are ! Watching your videos gives me such a pleasant brain exercise.. Im also highly agreeable and people take advantage off me frequently . Youre absolutely right,its not good for long term strategy. Im aware of it for a few years now,but im so hard wired into thinking like that.. I enjoy being compassionate,helpful , it gives me a nice kick of 'feels good man'... just doing my good deed of the day kind of situation haha..Thank you for articulating these thoughts so simple and elegant. I think about things like this every day, and sometimes i stumble on one of your videos and they really co-relate with what i was thinking about.. Its like youre speaking through my mind,youre giving my mind clarity,peace.. Its hard to explain,but thank you! Youre such a great teacher . I will be forever grateful for some of the roadmaps you gave us. I hope you stay healthy mr. JP!

One issue that I've never heard him bring up is often when we know what we want, we end up realizing we didn't reallyl need it or want it when we get it. Most people who are so sure of themselves often never realize this, but then again sometimes the only way to find out you didn't really want something is to get it.

One person achieved truth with grace..A clear light to aspire to.

I've always been only reading the comment section on all of those videos where he was figuring in. I don't know why, but this one makes me feel called out. Hope that's the signal meaning that I gotta make the right decisions soon. And I will. I'm really grateful for content like this on the internet

my mentor taught me BE KIND BE GENEROUS, but be solid when you need to be, and never take disrespect form any man or woman

Thank you for this enlightenment ❤

beautifully said, we need to awake it again absolutely

Temperaments my dude touched my situation on the precise right spot this is where we struggle with

So much gold in this one. I honestly cannot for the life of me see why people don't like you. I guess trying to talk truth today is becoming illegal. Keep up the good work. The world needs more people like you.

dude.... this hits me really hard my parents did not really let me out on a young age thus resulting awkward and anti-social current me. This helped me a lot thank you

This message is gold for many... 🙏🏽

i totally agree about all of what he said, being rude is worked sometimes

So... im agreeable and an introvert. I avoid people because I'm uninterested in the conflicts and how willing people are to take advantage of a person. Its interesting to hear this put to words. I have come a long way with work as i have no choice but i still am quite anti-social to what i can only say is an unhealthy amount. Jordan Peterson is one of the greats when it comes to seeing the truths in life. I really hope he continues to offer his wisdom for a long time.

This is such an important realization!! Peterson outlines the very main issues with people’s modern day struggles. Such a a smart man

Thanks Mr. Jordan Peterson, Helping me realize the my problem and posssible solution.😊

I am introverted I do not go out much but I am so confident in myself I am able to speak in public thanks to school which gave me the chance to over come that from when I was about 10yrs but I had no idea that being to nice would make me a wimp I used to be the class clown since from 3rd grade at 10 yrs old today I am 16 turning 17 next month I noticed goofing around and being nice will make people disrespect you make you a joke. Around August last year I came across a girl that I liked but ended up being friends with telling me I am way to nice and a few videos saying I should say what I want and stop being so nice because people will take advantage of me, I am definitely starting to master the decision making now been doing it since the beginning of this month and it is working!🔥🔥I believe you guys should also do and say what you want regardless of what others think or say but do not do the decisions on the act of being selfish thank you.❤️

What a absolutely brilliant video and speech from a brilliant man. So many valuable, applicable, and tangible life lessons in one 12 minute video.

jordan peterson is like a dad to me now. his advice really helps me

Nice and kind are different. Nice is a display you put up, kindness is genuine.

Sometimes i have no idea what he is saying but i’m still learning something valuable as i listen.

Balance is everything

As an introvert I almost feel like a dopamine surge of seeing extroverted people interacting in soical contexts. Because I wanna move to be there, and I try to push the barrier. Sure, it will drain my energy, but all I do is recharge and contiune work on being social.

The perspective you have is wonderful.

Unfortunately, the moment that kicked me into not being a “nice guy” was when I turned against the majority of humanity because of how poorly I am treated even though I’m more caring and pleasant than most others ^-^’ I guess I got here a bit too late for my own good, I hope others find this quicker than I did.

I'm a nice person. I love harmony, respect and peace. It's very hard for me to get angry to the point of no return. I don't feel embarassed because of it. I am who I am.

I'm speechless. I really needed this. Thank you.

Exactly what I needed.

👏 always a great day when i get to listen to him talk .

That is terrific!

I have been exploited before, I often have put others ahead of me sometimes at the costs of my own happiness, what I've learned is I'm better at that and it is more fulfilling to careless of myself. When I work for my own gains it tends to feel meaningless. Empty. But I find putting a smile or helping someone else to be rewarding. I think this is an amazing lecture but I am content in remaining selfless at my own expense.

He's absolutely right

Yeah, temperamental variables are really important to succed in life. Thanks for sharing.

I think its fine to be an agreeable person as long as the argument in question doesn't really effect your life/ turn you into a doormat. I think its better to bring out your inner self on situations where you actually need it. Your voice has a much greater impact when you don't always use it for every little thing.

9:56 This is exactly what I've started doing. I noticed whenever I was at a social gathering I always felt like I had to be the centre of attention. I also noticed other people doing this which is when I noticed I was doing it to. Now I just sit back an take it all in for the most part. Its still something I'm working on.

Jordan is so insightful...so much to learn from him.

Finally I understand why happened some things on my life, sadly in spanish nobody speaks this clear, so I'm grateful for the learning

Two therapists couldn't help me. They just wanted me to function, so I can get back to work. But this guy is an absolute genius. His words really help to understand what I always felt and now I can improve.

He is my teacher for Life.

I have always been the in charge type. But I have to be careful to to be compassionate at the same time. Its a fine line to be on both sides.

I needed this right now thank you algorithm

This video is a guide to be the average human, great lesson!

As someone who is an introvert (and probably a borderline recluse,) there are certain skills that I do not now, nor will I ever, possess that will take me from my own confines. I accept that for being the way that it is and I live my life accordingly.

Thank you, sir!

What Dr. Peterson explain is a gem. He is brilliant.

Please remove the annoying music

Yes, from personal experience, I was wayyyyy too agreeable growing up. I had to learn the hard way through many hard experiences to stand up for myself, stand up for what I want, and be bold. Being pushed around, taken advantage of, and polite about it all is no way to live. It will make you resentful too.

Thanks for the video. The more agreeable the more chance of getting used or lets say abused by other people.

I'm one of the most agreeable persons and have been exploited time and again by those I would never doubt. On a positive note, each day is a learning day. I'll put myself first now.

Conflict is a waste of time…while you can just turn away and do something better….but I agree with JP that it’s good to just speak the truth however harsh it might be…that’s a better solution. Speak the truth in a polite way and move ahead to do your good work. Let the non conscientious person figure out what is wrong with them if they can😊

Being a nice guy can hurt sometimes.

I will keep moving forward, even after death, and beyond!

the part with the disorder noticing is amazing

It's crazy I use to date a narcissist and I was overly agreeable never stood up for myself and was just pathetic. I slowly changed that and she went crazy I stopped always bending, later on she didn't wanna see me because I wanted to work more and hang out with friends. I expressed I'm tired of how I'm treated and she broke up. Best thing that's happened to me. I'm no longer as agreeable I'm going to do what benefits me more then not. It's acceptable to be the nice guy sometimes but you need to think for yourself

All Jordan is saying makes so much sense to me. One of my first memories is that I was run over by a car. All my father did was screaming "someone has to take care of my brother" he was rejecting me. He didnt care at all what was going on with me, Mom called friends and they had to bring me to the hospital, father was home alone.... rejecting me. First memorie... Last was 23 years later, my father uninvited me to new year cause of a woman my family did not know at all, but she did not liked me so I had to go (26 years old). He never believed in anything I did and my Mom was effected by guillain barre, she could not move for when I was 11-22. Now I am 32 years 352 days old. Good luck getting all that out of ma head. So all my life I was rejected and experienced that I can not be trusted. Some drama lost my child and girlfriend when I was 20, lost my grandma the same week and my dad killed my dog. Now I do not trust myself or anyone else. I do not trust goverments...schools noone and nothing. So I try to keep everything around me as comfortable for anyone except for myself cause I do not know how. Yeah I am the "super nice guy" cause I do not know what I want what I can. I can not take responsibility for anything cause everytime I was trying, I lost someone or got screamed like hell what the f*** I am doing. BUT at least my friends think I am the super nice guy. Maybe I am aswell but I stand for almost 6 years on a place and do not move at all. I am not aggressive at all, but that is thanks for my lost love, she said something like ""you never harm someone else if you do not want to be harmed, you only do things you want for yourself. Treat others good if you want to be treated the same way"". If the would not teach me that I am sure I would take another path full of aggression, pain and violance. Hope my little story shows you how bad a dad can be and what it did to me. Hopefully you will do better.

I can't say I always agree with Jordan Peterson, but he is someone worth listening too. Keep that in mind, you might not always agree with someone, but that doesn't mean they don't have something important to say that you can learn from.

This was a beautiful lecture

What i find very difficult to comprehend is wether the exploited part is my fault for being so agreeable, or is it the worlds fault for exploiting me whenever they can? Often i feel like being agreeable isn’t a bad trait. To me, there is nothing wrong with caring about other people. But i guess ‘too much’ is never the right thing.

I have been this way my whole life getting ready to turn 48. I just want to be a good person. I also feel like people who seek power like politicians or other power positions tend to be not so great of people.

Jordan Peterson Is so great!

That‘s an eye opening speech right there.

To whoever needs to hear it: I love you, even though I don’t know you. And I want to thank you for just being you. Now go get some sleep. You deserve a peaceful rest. You’ve fought enough today. Good night. BAM Loves YOU. 🥰 See ya next