"If you feel resentment in a relationship..."

"If you feel resentment in a relationship..." | Jordan Peterson

Рет қаралды 290,451

2 жыл бұрын

Jordan Peterson explains what it means when you feel resentment in a relationship with someones. He also provides relationship tips on how to overcome this resentment and enter into negotiation with your partner. #relationshipissues #relationshipadvice #jordanpetersonadvice
⚪️ ⚪️ ⚪️ This short is extracted from Jordan B. Peterson Q&A 5-22-2021. #shorts
☕To help me keep this channel running, buy me a coffee: www.buymeacoffee.com/jordanpe...
and I would be utterly thankful for your kindness! 🌸
-----------
📚 To get Jordan Peterson’s books:
📕 Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life
- Paperback: amzn.to/3FqlUot
- AudioBook: amzn.to/3FD01SY
- Kindle: amzn.to/3qoXt4x
📙 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
- Paperback: amzn.to/3pmPUfC
- AudioBook: amzn.to/3qlNpcK
- Kindle: amzn.to/3JbGTxX
📘 Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief
- Paperback: amzn.to/33X2Yjx
- Audiobook: amzn.to/3stAGXZ
- Kindle: amzn.to/3sxt6vI
🎵The audiobooks are narrated by Jordan Peterson HIMSELF! You can get an Audible membership that includes access to these books and thousands of other titles: amzn.to/3yU5Rgi
📖If you prefer reading though, you may consider a Kindle membership that includes Jordan Peterson’s books and over a million other ebooks: amzn.to/3FuAagi
📚Also, THREE BRILLIANT BOOKS recommended by JORDAN PETERSON:
🧘🏻‍♀ On Becoming a Person by Carl Rogers:
- Paperback: amzn.to/3pAR5rR
- Kindle: amzn.to/3mIfoT0
🥶 The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker:
- Paperback: amzn.to/3mF85v8
- Kindle: amzn.to/3Hh83S4
❤‍🔥 The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life by Joseph LeDoux:
- Paperback: amzn.to/3eOnC7P
- Kindle: amzn.to/3sWOrPt
If you purchase something from these affiliate links, it would help support this channel. Thank you!
-----------
🔴 This channel is not run by Dr. Peterson or his team.

Пікірлер: 338

@smegmawolf9148 Жыл бұрын

when you’re being oppressed and have something to say but the resentment comes from them never listening to what you have to say

@christinebraids Жыл бұрын

I'm presently in this situation and it's so true. I try sitting and talking with him for us to separate and end things on a mature level for the sake of our son but even that is a problem

@smegmawolf9148 Жыл бұрын

@@christinebraids i feel for ya. hopefully things get sorted and you can move on

@lehdedici8540 Жыл бұрын

I totally feel this type of resentment. I've said what I have to say and still feel it bc nothing has changed for the better.

@kevinensunsa Жыл бұрын

Nahh, one can text, write a letter, or email in order to express this. If you have something to say, uncomfortable or not, just state it.

@MXRX Жыл бұрын

Bro I feel like people know what they’re doing and should have the awareness that they’re hurting others. Yes we make small unconscious mistakes, but people not thinking about how this will effect you? I don’t agree with it.

@chanmonymiller1698 4 ай бұрын

I like that last line, the goal is to find a solution better than what either you could have separately.

@michaelcarter266 2 ай бұрын

Yeah he nailed it there.

@AFAskygoddess Ай бұрын

And that is why I'm a 68 year old single, financially secure, active woman in Florida and embrace the realization that I'm going to stay single.

@jaelenrandolph2030 2 ай бұрын

The kind of dad we all needed…

@ddee2501 6 ай бұрын

When honesty goes out the door... so do I.

@alenaadamkova7617 3 ай бұрын

Dr. K said he noticed that many relationships succeed. He noticed that most of them had few red flags at begining of the relationship, but they succeed because both were very active to change the red flags problems., including himself when he was jobless student and was married. His advice is to not looking for perfect person but both working toward suscess...because if you will look for a perfect partner, you always find at least one error like smoking, ..you decide to break up because of the one error, and will add new thing of red flags to the list, which means every year the list of red flags gets bigger, because each of your partners had one red flag, but you become lonely, if you break up before deciding to work for the relationship..so their red flag can be the smoking, or overeating or whatever, but your red flag can be not deciding to negotiate the rules before breaking up the relationship.being obsessed with perfection.

@sayusayme7729 2 ай бұрын

Yes

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Angels keep watch of Peterson!

@lesleysears9808 Ай бұрын

Love ya Jordan! ❤❤❤❤ The world is a better place with you in it 😊🎉

@kate59416 2 ай бұрын

Wise words....never heard it put this way!

@BottleofDreamswastaken Жыл бұрын

Sometimes the issue may be in your head and it's worth fighting for.

@user-ze7ry7ki5z 10 ай бұрын

You'll know which one you are after talking to your partner/spouce.. Good chance is you'll end up separate regardless. Resentment is contempt, contempt is like rust.. If you you let it work on things for too long there won't be enough material left to make it work. Be brave, ask early, try long.. But in the end leave before you lose your mental health. Life isn't about happiness, but survival.

@MsJoyce31202 6 ай бұрын

Yes

@elenamoulin3252 2 ай бұрын

Resentment is NOT contempt. The first is a feeling of angry displeasure at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury. The second - the feeling that a person or a thing is worthless or beneath consideration. You see, it makes a big difference. While feeling resentful is a sign something needs to be fixed by discussion/negotiation, feeling contemptful is rather a sign it may be too late or very difficult to fix a relationship

@OKAYOKAY420 2 жыл бұрын

There is no negotiation when it comes to adultery.

@seanandrews5329 Жыл бұрын

just ignore it? doing it with people is natural and the feeling to want to engage in it can be very dominant.

@OKAYOKAY420 Жыл бұрын

@@seanandrews5329 or you can have self control. Wtf is wrong with you?

@user-utorba987 Жыл бұрын

@@seanandrews5329 What kind of bullshit answer is this?

@seanandrews5329 Жыл бұрын

@@user-utorba987 can you be more specific with your question?

@TheAlien_in_your_backyard Жыл бұрын

@@seanandrews5329true, it’s normal for women to cheat, nothing wrong with women and men cheating and being un loyal

@GiveWithLove 9 ай бұрын

Emotional intelligence is extremely important, and when they lack that and to work with you with the desire to truly fight for the relationship your only option is to say goodbye.

@jojomasipa379 Жыл бұрын

I am full of resentment after 30 years of marraige. I feel miss used (NOT ABUSES) and I hablve NO joy. My husband gets quiet fits and dont display emotion or discuss ANYTHING. He gets angry when confronted and will stop talkkng to me for weeks. I am just done. All the suggestions sound so easy to do, but I am just so over this

@emilylednicky6718 Жыл бұрын

Sounds like it could be asperger's. Doesn't really change anything but it's what it sounds like.

@rockidove 9 ай бұрын

Agreed. He doesn’t know how to verbally communicate his own feeling. From my understanding… He was never taught or validated as a child and has never been able to express emotions therefore doesn’t know how to. Gabor Mate’ has a lot to speak on this subject as well. Resentment is poison for both of you. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️‍🩹 Much love! May you heal and find love.

@dennisgartner6592 6 ай бұрын

@@rockidovewell, anger certainly is an emotion.

@rockidove 6 ай бұрын

@@dennisgartner6592I certainly agree. 👍🏼

@eyaalem7990 5 ай бұрын

The same thing I was avoidant for almost 30 years. I repress my feeling and I usually confused how to express myself even if for my loved ones. I think when I grow up I used to be ashamed expressing feeling and fear holds me back. Now I am getting better and of course it’s a baby step. Marriage is not easy but if we embrace the adversity it could lead us to self awareness just like me.

@bilstein2410 10 ай бұрын

Or, you put a lot of effort into the friendship and they do nothing back in return. That's what started my resentment.

@annaburns2865 2 ай бұрын

That’s called oppression.

@monamonet1111 2 ай бұрын

We both should get something better together then we had separate

@Intuited. Жыл бұрын

I felt the resentment creeping in again today, and then I had the idea during our argument, to repeat positive affirmations and visualise a positive outcome for the both of us inside my mind without him knowing. The resentment faded away. "I am in Harmonious Separation with [.....] Because we both deserve to be Happy Free and Loved. We both share Harmonious custody of our daughters. No matter what...there is no other option" I've been wanting to separate from him for a while now, but he keeps "insisting" that we must stay together.

@ChaseGohunnid 11 ай бұрын

I did the same thing I just decided to choose positivity and love just started to flow on its on

@JennaFW 9 ай бұрын

Highly recommend looking into Carla Da Costa’s work. Particularly her first book “Seconds Please”. It is a beautiful and life-changing yet short/easy to read. It helped me in significant ways when I was in a situation that sounds like it might be similar to yours 🙏🏼

@revelationishereeverhart8864 2 жыл бұрын

I've seen it happen like this, where the relationship had "both" dynamics of what Jordan described!

@Adragos17 Ай бұрын

I feel resentment in my relationship because I have tried to communicate my needs but it goes unresponsive and in full of deep regret for marrying the woman I did and feel it was one of the most foolish things I could have ever done. It's completely unsatisfying

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Lmao

@annalyssabird3150 Ай бұрын

Luckily, we've learned this lesson, and come out the other side much stronger, always worth a discussion 😊

@GundamReviver Жыл бұрын

In my case, the best thing to do was abort mission. I was better off alone then with my crazy ex. The I later found a wonderful girl thst did indeed make my life better. So good luck to me I guess?

@gloryofsk8 Жыл бұрын

You'll abort again.. you feel better but your life is the same.. give it time

@coleauten5612 Жыл бұрын

I hope she's the right one for you! Don't lose to any comments complaining about how you'll never find anyone. That's true for some people, certainly those who give up, but not for all. If you're both willing to work through any issues you as a couple may face then she might just be the right one. You'll find the right one!

@gloryofsk8 Жыл бұрын

@@coleauten5612 women dont wanna work unless they feel really have to. Unless that dude is a Millionaire bodybuilding alpha male, she'll deep down keep her options open. If shes an attractive woman eventually she'll get the right attention from the richer guy ( perhaps slightly better looking ) and trust me she sadly wont say no. Keep him in her pocket, and slowly starts to do less and less in the relationship uptil she knows she has a Refuge to back up her leaving. As said give time.. as soon as you see the signs, ( her being more on her phone, repeating things she already told you, starts arguments about problems she dont easily find or settles for any logical solution - because she is not feeling it and logic cant make that feeling go away. you have to end it and leave otherwise you end up hurt.

@kaybase6967 9 ай бұрын

@@gloryofsk8the same can be said about men too. Don’t lump everyone into the same basket. There are good women out there. Not all of us are like what you describe.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Wish my scamming ex would do this instead of trying to make me regret not being in his life lmao move tf on & stop looking back to check on me unless you have a check for me 🤷🏾‍♀️✌🏽

@victoryamartin9773 2 ай бұрын

I have resentment under both conditions. I am being financially taken advantage of by 2 oppressive, stonewalling Narcissists, so I can't resolve anything by discussion; I've tried and only got screamed at for not appreciating them. I also am horribly traumatized and stressed out about not being able to get them to leave my house, so I'm trying to discover how I might make peace with a situation I cannot change and develop endurance and love for people who cannot love me.

@DChristina Ай бұрын

Are you a senior? I can’t see the tiny thumb photo in my phone so please don’t be offended my asking. I ask because if you are, their tyranny could’ve considered elder abuse. Then you can get help ousting them out of your home. Can you get the aid and support of family and friends? Ask them to come live with you in support and to witness what’s going on. Make it uncomfortable for these two leeches so they’ll leave! Praying you get results 🙏🏼💕

@victoryamartin9773 Ай бұрын

😮@@DChristinaYes I am a senior and disabled. I definitely consider this elder abuse. For whatever reason, I haven't been able to get thru to APS to report it, and law enforcement will do nothing no matter how many times I've called them. I'm afraid to leave my house with them still here, because they are now going thru my things when I'm away to get dirt on me. He found my eviction application and decided he needs to sue me for $1 million if I try to evict them. But I'm going to try to go see my son 3 hours away by bus and get help filling out the paperwork and maybe see if we can get a restraining order. Thank you for responding. It helps to hear someone care.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Keep dreaming ✌🏽 that will never happen & it is what it is like I said

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Those 2 broke dummies better get a life & stop attaching their mental illness to me ✌🏽 bottom mf line I'm not their friend or scapegoat. Try Jesus

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Who needs their love? I do not want their looney asses attaching shit to me period 😂😂 my life doesn't have shit to do with them AT ALL. Stop being desperate ✌🏽

@ivyluray723 3 ай бұрын

Crazy to use the word immature, from my perspective. When you consider that someone might not be willing to do those things due to repeated mistreatment. And also I think any resentment at all is a sign to leave. I don’t resent any of my friends, and if I did they wouldn’t be my friends… hopefully y’all my point. Relationships should make you happy… and if they don’t, then make yourself happy, and then maybe you can be happy in relationships too

@rshahid145 Жыл бұрын

So many lessons learned

@user-oq4cx4dp4i Ай бұрын

Good advice ❤

@chantakchantal6065 2 ай бұрын

I resented being ignored and to see our relationship was always last on the list and of course after giving so much I pulled the plug. Enough is enough, the immature other party always turned everything into an argument to avoid talking quietly.

@jrichieander6832 2 жыл бұрын

I needed this

@JennaFW 9 ай бұрын

I was about to say “Me too”, but then I also wondered, in what way? What did you take out of it? (I’m trying to practice remembering my interpretation is not the only/correct one 🙏🏼 So your answer would help that 😌)

@jamesdelcol3701 Жыл бұрын

I was being taken advantage of. I realized my stepson was chronic when I was studying for an exam I couldn't get him to shut off his video game off. He was 24 yo and this was not acceptable. I asked his mother if we could negotiate this. She forced the video game on me. Our lease was up a few weeks after that and I forced him to sign. Then, when I got fed up, I left. They had to pay and I paid 1/3 instead of 1/2 because I made her son sign the legal document. I was in love with her. It hurt really bad. We went through a rough time together crying together because we were broke at one point. I was a kindred spirit getting this kid jobs and training him and he shit on me. I paid him the favor back. As I was training him I noticed his attitude. You can't run from me when I am training you. I will learn your habits by testing you. By the time I left, I knew I was dealing with a bad situation and that I had to leave. I also knew from training my stepson that he was never going to respect me or change his attitude. So now I'm gone. And they cannot touch me or talk to me. If that resentment comes, you're done. I will always opt for a new life over staying in a bad life.

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

I'm really confused about your story, but I agree with the message wholeheartedly.

@seraphenki933 2 ай бұрын

Omg this is the EXACT situation my step Dad is in. My brother who is now 31 lives at their house doesn't pay rent and just games all day. He's the reason for so many arguments. He's my brother and I hate him myself lol I work hard and have my own place. My mom babied my younger brother so now he's entitled sh*thead. He's 31 and acts like a teenager and just games constantly. I told my stepdad I'd understand if he left my mom.

@ninasheen2965 Ай бұрын

god bless you

@_helloworld_7070 9 ай бұрын

Yes! Exactly

@jewels3538 2 ай бұрын

My ex husband was immature. He had resentment even after we talked about it before we got married. He didn't want to talk about it, he just looked for another woman and cheated on me.

@angelicadaley 8 ай бұрын

I’m grateful that he has reworded this. I understand it much better now than his first release of this answer!

@thomasgrabowski2202 Жыл бұрын

Yeah. Try relling that too my one sided ex.

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Thank you and Gratitude and Honor! Unto all my Angels who persevere and heard the WORD! Adopted SONS AND DAUGHTERS welcomed!

@Tsuki7786 2 ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@dasgespenst979 19 күн бұрын

I have had resentment for years. Anytime i try to speak about why i am on edge all the time, i get this. "But I can't, i am incapable, its not my fault, you do it too, you're not perfect." Followed by what she calls a nervous breakdown.

@bonniefarley6256 2 ай бұрын

People are not resentful, jealous,spiteful, etc for no reason. There is a root cause. Usually inequality. Inequality is the root cause of estrangements, break ups. . It's the number one cause

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Tf are you talking about? And I'm not gonna have sympathy for your regrets when you realize ya jealous & spiteful for no reason🤷🏾‍♀️ talk that shit out with God & get tf out my life. A bitter mf always got some to be bitter about ✌🏽 tf on

@relaxcalmly1742 Жыл бұрын

Well how about resentment towards the spouse that cheated? Both wants to move forward and restore the marriage but the betrayed is still stuck on the betrayal and wants to get help for fixing that as well but the unfaithful one wants to move forward with forgetting the past. Now those things keeps clashing into each other and it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

@melodypaz7247 Жыл бұрын

The one that cheated must accept that they are on a parole of a minimum of two years to rebuild trust with the betrayed party.

@Lena-so2lq Жыл бұрын

Cheating is really barely worth "moving past." Unless you have 50 years in with grandkids, id take a long walk. Im better than that.

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

Nah, man. Nah. No way. Are you really willing to open up again to the person that cheated on you? You're worth more than that. You deserve better. It's not worth reforging trust, because they made their choice. They thought about whether you're worth more to them than the person they wanted to sleep with or not, and the answer was no. They didn't care about your trust or your feelings. They felt lust and attraction towards someone else and that's what was most important to them. I strongly advise against trying to move past this. If they made this choice once, they'll make it again, especially if they just want to forget because that way, there will be no repercussions for them.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

@@TheSorcerer1attention from attractive people when you have an attractive partner just heightens the attraction all around 😂🤷🏾‍♀️ nothing like having another person to think about while you're making love to the other. Iktsr

@nichelehuseby 7 ай бұрын

Truth

@annaburns2865 2 ай бұрын

You can’t fix these kinds of relationships. When the other person is being immature and unwilling to take responsibility for oppressing you.

@leonabarkell1809 2 ай бұрын

Exactly

@HaleyMartin-kd2gh 5 ай бұрын

I felt taken advantage of… I just feel so defeated. We love each other so much, but you have to fight for what you love. They have to fight too. You can’t just leave because it gets uncomfortable or they say things you don’t like. My mom and dad fought for years, been together 18 years. In marriage, you go through all of your vows. If one of you doesn’t fight, the other has to. Always. I’m in a relationship with my current boyfriend, but we are dating with intention of marriage. I’m not even married yet and I’m fighting with him like we are. We are like mirrors of each other. We are finding God again, so we can find common ground again. The truth hurts, but you know what will hurt me worse? Him leaving. Deep down we know we won’t leave each other, because we haven’t! He hasn’t hit me or anything, I can take it as much as I can dish it. He is a hard man and I am a tough woman. It’s so hard to break through to him, because the world hardened his heart so much. I know I can’t change him, but God can. I know my God. And don’t you dare tell me God is not real! Because I’m fighting so hard for this man and for God. I don’t care if you lost people, I lost people too! People go through terrible things with God. I’m going through it now with him! I’m not even married and my sanity is being tested. So is his. I have met my match, because no man can drive me this crazy. God knows this.

@monsta2311 2 жыл бұрын

I was in the very situation. I worked 11 hour she didn't work at all n wanted it to stay that way....well we had a talk n she wasn't willing to budge so that's that...I'm better off without

@PurposelyObtuse 2 жыл бұрын

As she shouldn’t…

@Valor1610 2 жыл бұрын

@@PurposelyObtuse Women that are bums are worthless tbh especially when they try to get everything over the man's back

@JP-iz9cz Жыл бұрын

It depends, was she keeping the home and displaying good wifely attitudes (because remember, if you want kids one day she will be playing that role of the stay home mother and you need to know that she can do it well)? Or was she not being productive at all so that you still had to work when you got home from work? Did you want a family (future prospects) or a girlfriend (here and now)? Traditional roles worked for centuries, when both parties knew their place and committed to their role in the family.

@lizzydean4814 Жыл бұрын

@@JP-iz9cz women and men’s designated roles where different from how things played out. For all of human history the majority of the population were dirt poor and/or serfs and thus had to work. In the Middle Ages women did the same agricultural labor as men as well as the domestic labor. The idea that women have always stayed in the home and men have always been the bread winner has been the societal value, but for the majority of the population it wasn’t a reality. And what do you mean by worked? Obviously it didn’t because women were being oppressed legally, economically, and spiritually by the patriarchy while at the same time putting in as much work as men.

@JP-iz9cz Жыл бұрын

@@lizzydean4814 have you seen the buildings they made? The art work they created? The music? And you presume they were dirty poor serfs... They were no more dirty than you are. What fake propaganda have you been reading as history? That is a total fabrication of the facts. Women were not oppressed by any patriarchy you fool.

@trapper8377 Ай бұрын

Mr. Peterson, how are you? And where do I start well? I like to say that we all live on the island of broken toys, Floating around in the middle of nowhere. As a result, we all have scars and our ill equipment To navigate this Bullshit Which is the way I think some on are island would have it Well, not today, sir, Not with men like you in the world Who are willing to stand up in the face of it And give freely These wise words that are foundational building blocks for humanity That ring true straight to my soul brother. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you. Prayers from the New Jersey pines

@mrspeace2u907 Жыл бұрын

JP is the man !

@melepearl7916 Жыл бұрын

“You both should get something better than if you were separate”

@chetwalther-ep9zb 9 ай бұрын

I believe the 4 years of hell i went through with an ex was essentially me being the second form of resentment he describes while my girlfriend was the first.

@charlesplante 3 ай бұрын

Its hard figuring out what was the problem when she leaves you for a crack head for no good reason but you still love her but she won't let you leave because she's always maybe pregnant.

@AxelBitz 9 күн бұрын

I resented her because when money flew out the door love escaped through the window. So I ended it all. I really don't care how immature that could have been, but her attitude took me past the point of no returm.

@ShredderBenjamin 22 күн бұрын

❤

@CandyLemon36 8 ай бұрын

The transformative clarity of this piece is remarkable. A book with akin material was a major milestone in my life. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint

@jopiluis3382 4 ай бұрын

I think I've seen your comment two times in two different videos - this is a sign! I was looking for a landmark book about relationships and then this shows up... thank you!

@mstina7346 Ай бұрын

Brilliant. And not that hard to do!

@PhilipShawn Ай бұрын

If available

@user-jx9dq8on3p 16 күн бұрын

I am not the one who is immature. I have a trust issue with my partner. And you know what I mean. Of what I see on the media

@user-jx9dq8on3p 16 күн бұрын

I don't like to be with with someone who is a constant cheater. I think that is immature.

@user-jx9dq8on3p 16 күн бұрын

That is not love towards me that is disrespect and using me to get what he wanted off of me was my money.

@user-jx9dq8on3p 16 күн бұрын

And did not care if he has broken my heart no matter if I saw him with different women. He didn't seem to care how I felt when though I was in love with him. That is terrible.

@UserName-dd8pn Жыл бұрын

Full video?

@maddyvonree3127 7 ай бұрын

What if you are resentful of a parent who abused you as a child and it is impossible to solve this problem though dialogue or boundaries

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

Resentment stemming from being abused is justified. If you tried to talk it through, it's because you decided to grace an undeserving worm with your kindness. Sorry to say that about your parent. You decided you want to pursue a better relationship with them out of the goodness of your heart, if they don't want to talk about it, they don't deserve your love.

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Peterson time

@Vane-wk9eq Жыл бұрын

Where is the full video to this?

@a-parentlycoffee3868 6 ай бұрын

Long story short, I'm a mom of 3 of his 6 kids. I was the only one working for 5yr. He watched our kids but never did anything to help me. I was still the one to cook and clean and do it all. Now the roles have reversed but I cook and clean. He acts like it is a chore to get diapers because he still doesn't want to be responsible. He said i was acting ungrateful when I told him that I don't need him to buy me anything but take of the kids needs first. I feel broken and angry. I also feel like the only reason he wants to patch things up now is because of an upcoming court date for child support of his other kids.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Hahahaha

@BlackPearlMona369 2 жыл бұрын

He was feeling resentment because he was immature and extremely bad in expressing himself, his way was through through cursing, bad mouthing, physical, emotional and mental abuse...i was feeling resentment because I felt like I was taken advantage of and not being heard or appreciated... Divorce was the only way when such situation lasts for years... You feel stuck and not getting anywhere.... In may case, he was just having resentment not only towards but towards life in general...

@BlackPearlMona369 Жыл бұрын

@E. MacCarthymany thanks appreciated your interaction... absolutely i feel so free...you have a happy new year 💖

@BlackPearlMona369 Жыл бұрын

@E. MacCarthy dear, believe me. This was exactly my intention when i wrote this comment...i hope that women avoid falling in the same old holes... in my case, te KZfaq as a whole wasn't existed when i got married 10 years ago. This Level of awareness was not yet available... again thanks for dropping meaningful comments, appreciated 👍

@debbiewilder4738 Жыл бұрын

How do you know if you're being in mature or it's worth fighting for?

@BottleofDreamswastaken Жыл бұрын

If after the argument or fight you can list way more things you appreciate about them than what you resent. And if the resentment comes from you not opening up, then at least try to make yourself known. Any previous codependents or victims of narcissistic abuse have a difficult time telling how they feel, even for safe people.

@chanmonymiller1698 4 ай бұрын

I have found it helps to have a mentor couple, a trustworthy older couple you both can go to when you're trying to figure things out or feel stuck. For us, it's our Pastor and his wife. But I think that's why a lot of people go to marriage therapy.

@THENEONARCADE21 2 ай бұрын

I was being taken advantage of !!!!

@lucindanonhebel5329 Жыл бұрын

Spot on as per usual! 👍

@firstlastname84 Ай бұрын

If you're not allowed to talk about the specific things that you feel will create resentment, it's the latter

@schak6946 7 ай бұрын

Good

@oldishandwoke-ish1181 12 күн бұрын

This is how I prefer JBP - wearing his psychologist's hat.

@dnk4559 2 ай бұрын

Sadly in therapy I’ve had to come to terms that I am the scapegoat of my siblings. As I work through trying to stand up for myself in a healthy way I’ve had to see how abusive my siblings are and grieve their loss. It’s just not possible to have a relationship with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

Ain't got no damn business trying to understand you no way. They are committed to seeking attention their bitter ass won't get. Don't know how many ways you can tell someone to get a life & stay tf out of yours for them to understand how irrelevant they are 🤷🏾‍♀️ sounds too much like relationship problems to me with people I'm not in any type of relationship with. Their mental illness & obsession is not my burden

@adamahmadhawwari8612 Жыл бұрын

Their are limits of everything . When your partner abduct your kids and steel your money and on top say the most intimate things to others or also say accuasatiins put in trouble with the law Thats not negotiable my dear doc

@RippleDrop. Ай бұрын

*If you feel negative, go for a run.*

@hope4463 7 ай бұрын

Some men cannot understand the advice you give to make anything better. Some men cannot communicate.

@dennisgartner6592 6 ай бұрын

🤦 Be honest with youself, that's simply not true. If a man tells you stuff you don't wanna here doesn't mean he can't communicate. Emotions aside, try to understand what he is telling you.

@redonionsyummy 5 ай бұрын

I feel he is resentful towards me, I ask what's wrong and only get the passive aggressive.'nothing' ..angry treatment..I'm walking on egg shells not knowing what I'm doing wrong..

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

@@redonionsyummy Eggshells? I'd break a thousand eggs before letting myself live like that, and you should too. Just set an ultimatum, either they talk about it or you walk. Simple as. Why should you live with this mental strain? Yeah, maybe you did do something that really bothers them, but you can't know every little thing that might set them off unless they tell you. If they don't want to talk, there's nothing else you can do.

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

@@redonionsyummy I'm glad you're moving past it. Marriage without communication is among the worst situations you could find yourself in, so it's good you're doing away with it. I'm sure it will be difficult for some time, but I trust you will be in a much better place mentally afterwards.

@redonionsyummy 4 ай бұрын

@@TheSorcerer1 thank you for your encouragement

@user-nt9yv4lj9f 5 ай бұрын

Well she doesn't hang out with guy friends much, but she likes the idea of doing it. Now I'm really trying to have a good relationship with this girl but she has slight autism which could be the indication of her hiding some feelings and not communicating enough. I'm usually the one who wants to communicate and she doesn't. Instead she resorts to anger and walking away to think about what I'm saying, which I understandable to a degree but the anger and frustration has to be left at the door especially for communication I feel. Thoughts?

@mariebarrett7177 2 ай бұрын

They don't want to negotiate compromises, so then what..

@ARolls-dd2zd Жыл бұрын

Where was I supposed to have learned negotiation skills when I had totalitarian parents? It certainly wasn't taught at university. All the communication skills in the world don't prevent male dominance and abuse, the church doesn't help. Damage is done now, on top of damage, done, finished.

@sexygabby30 Жыл бұрын

This ☝🏽

@AshleyHalls41 Жыл бұрын

❤Him

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Peterson wake up! Time will say

@kerryfat1697 3 ай бұрын

🤔just fine ur tru love.

@PaytonFu 18 күн бұрын

So if proposed person is immature how can you trust their judgement of it not being you being unjust?

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Students why I shall not want? For all exalted and above in front of all thy ANGELS WHO PERSEVERE AND HEARD THE WORD AND ALL THY SHARED "i" AM HOSTS!

@PhilipShawn Ай бұрын

"IF"

@jewel643 4 ай бұрын

From my experience the immature person would immediately choose #2 and consider their resentment justified, even if they truthfully are option #1.

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Time....till can come as "i" AM PETERSON. Then WILL RECOGNIZED!

@ilovechucky7150 2 ай бұрын

I am just angry my needs aren't met even though I've talked about this many times. Nothing changes. Maybe that's immature. That's okay. I'm tired of it of hanging on

@nilsalmgren4492 4 ай бұрын

No need to be resentful, just go on with life and accept the person you married is what you married.

@Chris-dt5td 26 күн бұрын

Third possibility is negative teansference.

@Callummullans 3 ай бұрын

If someone tries to always be on your mind then it’s unhealthy. We’re part of a culture where this toxic expectation is normalised because people don’t fully understand what commitment is. It can be hard to pinpoint oppression because it’s not always obvious or intentional

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

When you keep doing the same shit that you know is wrong & the other person has asked you to stop but you're too far obsessed & rather make every excuse in the book to keep violating that person like you have the right knowing damn well the bottom line is you're a jealous coward who don't love yourself & live to taunt someone else's happiness that you can't find then it is very much so INTENTIONAL. Time to move on & idgaf WHY you don't like me but somehow can't seem to leave me tf alone

@Faustinembeh_backup Жыл бұрын

👌😘💯

@aziaa.8663 7 ай бұрын

what if my boyfriend and i fought a lot but everytime he shouts at me and call me these hurtful words i dont do that im just careful with my words not to hurt his feelings but the resentment is creeping up on me i dont know what do anymore i tried talking to him in a discreet way but he doesnt listen and yells at me...and after yelling he turns up like nothing hanppened saying i love yous etc. but i felt so unheared, misunderstood and cant have my voice heared without him being angry and yelling at me the issue was he doeant like me reapeatedly asking him aboyt this girl he is so close with (to the point where he would tell her ou private stuff) and i got jealous to that girl and wanted reassurance from him i kept on asking if he like her or does he have intentions to date her if shes single those kinds of questions he answered me before that he doesnt but there were situations where i he went there to share his problems and theyre talking about inviting him to drinks which i caught so he didnt attend and i got suspicious and jealous. everytime i open up with him he yells me and call me bad names and hangs up the phone and curses accusing me of i was delusional or making him mad over this and now...i dont know what to do its hard to tapk to him i have rwsented him and could not contain my emotions i feel like bursting if ever well talk again coz i was so hurt with the past conversation we had

@michaelcarter266 2 ай бұрын

What if it is resentment in a family relationship and I believe the source is me not wanting to cause drama.

@Lady.Luck. Ай бұрын

I'm willing to bring it up. But they're not willing to do their share or they drop the ball

@gellachick4524 Жыл бұрын

Apparently, I’m the problem because I don’t think it’s appropriate for his ex girlfriend to call and text him three months after we got married I had no idea she even existed and I’m supposed to be forced to except their friendship he also shared personal information. That was none of her business.

@Beria.T 20 күн бұрын

I can admit that I am immature

@GhostMonkey772 Жыл бұрын

Theres no negotiation with being oppressed you leave a toxic relationship that's what happens.

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

It's always worth trying to talk about it. They might not be aware of how toxic they are. If they don't want to talk about it or gaslight you, then that's that. Just leave.

@GhostMonkey772 4 ай бұрын

@@TheSorcerer1 which happens 90 percent of the time.

@TheSorcerer1 4 ай бұрын

@@GhostMonkey772 True enough, sadly.

@thomasgrabowski2202 Жыл бұрын

Telling**

@rosemaryallen2128 Жыл бұрын

You cannot negotiate with a psychotic. Get the hell out of there.

@Lena-so2lq Жыл бұрын

This is key to figure out. Are they mentally ill and not addressing it? Hiding drug addiction? Or something deeper. ...without communication, nothing is worth it.

@rosemaryallen2128 Жыл бұрын

Many well disposed people have wasted fruitless energy trying to maintain relationships with narcissists, psychotics, psychopaths, addicts and other afflicted souls. Self preservation is the first duty of a thinking person, without which no amount of altruism is valid.

@Lena-so2lq Жыл бұрын

@@rosemaryallen2128 oh im not arguing their case. I dont waste time when i see the same identifiers. But not everyone is a psychopathic Narcissist, like my mother. Its embarrassing how many people know whats shes done to me. Just trying to get out of State. Change my name. Hide.

@decipher8057 3 ай бұрын

I felt oppressed. I was definitely immature. So we had both those things off right off the bat. But that was a long time ago.

@jamesdelcol3701 8 ай бұрын

The stepson was master of my home for a little while. I was studying for my Industrial Hygiene exams and he forced his videogame into the home. It sounded like a stadium in my home. My ex supported him over me. I left. I'm not supporting a 24 year old man who is throwing jobs in the garbage left and right. Delinquent. I guess I could have negotiated with my ex a little more. She was ignoring me. I didn't want her son to come to our home I didn't trust it enough so I made him sign the new lease. He had nowhere to go. He got thrown out of his father's home for being rude to his wife. I tried so hard with this kid. He got me fired from two jobs. I was driving him to work every morning for 6 months to be the first man on the job every day. He didn't want to be labor, but there was an expert carpenter that was gearing up to teach him carpentry. I was setting him up to succeed so he could get his own place. My motive was I wanted to be alone with my girlfriend. We were really in love. Head over heels at first. She wasn't willing to abandon her alcoholic father and messed up family. She kept that toxic nonsense through the whole relationship.

@marlenelindsey7638 2 ай бұрын

No negotiations with a man who became a literal “pimp”, unbeknownst to me. It’s ok to walk away or sometimes, run!

@tamkeensakeena7643 3 ай бұрын

How do you get over the immaturity? How do you know if it’s because of immaturity?

@oliverjamito9902 Ай бұрын

Angels will say,

@elizabethmeyers1677 2 жыл бұрын

How do I communicate with him with severe anixety disorder?I'm trying to get words out to him but I have a very very hard time speaking newly married..less then a month please help me no insurance or able to help?😭I'm scared

@Aquiori Жыл бұрын

All good? '-'

@ARolls-dd2zd Жыл бұрын

If you can't do it get a friend or counselor to act as mediator until you learn.

@muktasp30 Жыл бұрын

Talk through text messages...

@jaimepiano1985 Жыл бұрын

Patrick Teahan on KZfaq has really helped me… good luck!!

@zeruth467 9 ай бұрын

Instagram has an ai chat. I’ve been asking it questions on how to work on stuff and it helps me mentally

@DFatsaxx 2 ай бұрын

He making a relationship sound like a business deal 😂

@saintejeannedarc9460 2 ай бұрын

He's breaking it down into more simple and workable transactions that are easier to deal w/ and take the emotional element out. Relationship problems can feel so complicated and overwhelming, because we have such strong emotions attached to them. Breaking it down this way takes the mount Everest feeling out of it.

@AFAskygoddess Ай бұрын

All relationships are transactions, whether you believe that or not. Transactions are exchanges and interactions between two people.

@vodkavuitton Ай бұрын

& you making a business deal sound like a relationship 😂😂 pick another slave ✌🏽