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So sorry you are going through this difficult journey! I needed to hear this! I was just diagnosed with breast and ovarian cancer. I have gone through 1 surgery 2 weeks ago and now having surgery again tomorrow. I have been so overwhelmed with everything coming at me and trying to tiptoe around other people’s feelings about my diagnosis.. it has been exhausting. I start chemo soon and I really need to remember to save my energy for myself and the long battle I have ahead of me. Such great tips and reminders! I always take care of everyone else, now is my time to step back and focus on me.

Thank you for sharing…. I do think the “thinking of you texts” can be helpful … those that send it may not know what to say or do but are sincere and want to reach out in some way to let you know they care about you … and in the reserve it is comforting to know people are thinking of us… That said, one should never feel compelled to respond, especially when in a stressful situation.

Such helpful and poignant advice! We lost my MIL May 2023 after a 13 year battle with Alzheimer’s. It is a devastating disease but there will be beautiful moments in the middle of the hard. I have so many precious memories hidden in my heart- I am grateful for them. So sorry to hear you are now on a similar journey. Sending prayers…

I’m in awe that you were able to make such a beautiful, well thought out, helpful and beautifully articulated video, that is sure to be a life raft for many in such a heart-wrenching and difficult time. Sending prayers for comfort and peace.

Thank you for sharing this and I'm so sorry for what you're going through with your mom❤. This is so timely for me. We lost our youngest son 9 months ago to complications of alcoholism. He was 34. This has been the hardest thing we've ever navigated through and some days we just put one foot in front of the other. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers and we will all see brighter days and thank you for your advice ❤

So true, Jen. As shared earlier, my beloved son, my only child, died suddenly on June 9th, of two undiagnosed medical conditions. It is against the laws of nature for parents to bury their child. My heart is so broken, I don't know how to go on without him being in the world living his life, and us touching base. I can barely eat and have lost 20 pounds, can't find proper sleep and rest. The grief and guilt are crushing. Next week I'll be flying down to Virginia to finalize my son's estate there, and the thought of doing this is just as heartbreaking as his death. I brought him home to me from there, and he's buried nearby; however, there is now his estate to tend to, an honor. But also so unspeakably sad. You hang in there, Jen. We will, somehow, get through this. I would have died in his place if God asked it of me.

Wish I could make you a cup of tea. Doesn't fix things, but for a few minutes makes it a little bit easier. Tea.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My sisters and I have been navigating this for a few years, and it is the hardest thing in the world. We are mourning a mother who is not physically gone. To make it worse, last year, we spent the summer in the hospital and rehab due to a leg amputation. These are good reminders that can help a lot of people. Keeping you in my prayers. 🤗

Oh boy did I need to hear this today! Thank you. In the trenches you can feel you are the only person dealing with stuff. 🤗xx

This is so thoughtful of you! I walked the caregiver roll in our house for a year. I was exhausted, terrified, aggravated, petrified and worn down. Now my situation was the goal to get my Mom better. I had to learn wound care which was horrific. I can’t say I took care of myself, I just went forward. Now 6 months after her passing, I feel the trauma and working through that but most of all grateful. I came to a word weeks after her passing. Grateful. I also let go some warnings of health condition (thyroid and my eyes), and now dealing with that. Stress really does a number. It’s so easy to lie to yourself that you’re managing.

Thank you thank you thank you. I said “amen” five or six times through this video, especially to the fact that we are fine talking about stress in the glib “I’m so stressed” way, but not in the crippling “I’m drowning because I’m grieving and trying to keep things together for my kids’ sake”. Your voice and your truth are such a blessing to me ❤

Such a timely video! My family has gone through a death in the family, a cancer diagnosis, a unexpected ICU stay, and a (thankfully small) house fire in the last 12 months. Everything becomes So. Much. Harder. when you're in survival mode.

Let me preface this by saying, "I am not a cryer." Never have been. I did not know what was happening with me when my mom, after 7 years in the nursing home, started not eating well and sleeping more. Staff let me know what was coming. Guess I should have read through the Hospice papers better, but I was going through anticipatory grief. After she passed I don't think I cried and I felt guilty about that. I let that guilt go. I have been assisting her in some way for 22 years. Thanks for your insights Jen.

One of the MANY wonderful things about this post especially resonated with me. The “thoughts and prayers” and the “let me know if I can help” texts or emails may be checking a box or may be well-intentioned (by people who don’t know what to do), but they’re not helpful. When we’re in these times, we don’t know what we need! The biggest lesson I learned when navigating these big stressors was from those friends who said (real examples), “We will be at your house during the calling hours for your dad and will make sure that there is food out when everyone comes back to the house” or “Just let me the know chemo dates for your mom when you have them. Leonard and I are dropping off dinner those days”. Or (my neighbor to my introverted self after my mom died) “I know you have a house full. Brian & I are going to bed. The side door is unlocked, if you need to escape” Or “We’re not able to attend your brother’s calling hours or funeral (in a city 90 miles away), but leave a key with us and we will stop by and feed the dogs and let them out while you’re there”. I will never forget those friends. ❤

Thank you! I so needed to hear this. I wish I could be right there with you as you navigate through your journey. As a nurse for mainly geriatric, I see how this disease just robs you of the person you love. I have also gone through it with a family member, and it was scary and hurt so much. If you have any questions, I'd love to help you and your family. Thank you, your family, and the soulful way you give to us all. Sending much love and prayers for you and your loved ones to get through this.❤

Jen…this video could not have come at a more perfect time. I felt like you were speaking to me…particularly your words at the end. My parents are moving to a retirement community and my mom has fallen into a deep depression and paralyzing anxiety. This week has been particularly bad, and I have felt hopeless as you described. Just hearing you say that it will get better made me feel lifted. My heart is with you during this difficult time with your family.

Thank you! Your tips are awesome. Going through a crisis right now. My Dad was just diagnosed with Dementia. He’s 88. I had a close friend who passed away of cancer a couple of months ago, after fighting for 8 years. I’m waiting for the third thing to happen. It comes in 3’s , right? Love that you are so honest at sharing your life. Praying for you.

Boy, Jen. That’s a lot to tackle. Kudos to you for having the fortitude to gather some pointers for the rest of us. What you said about it not being forever is maybe the biggest thing I took away from that, as far as caring for others goes.

the timing of this video is amazing. something big just happened today to a close friend so this is perfect timing. great advice and thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your insights

I'm an introvert and hate the "thinking of you" messages for the exact same reason. I feel like they checked off a box but then it drains me to interact with them. My best friend is an extrovert though and lives off those messages. Thank you for the tips and the willingness to share your tough experiences to help others.

Jen, you did such a great job with this! I went through more than my fair share of crises in the first half of my life and everything you said was spot-on for survival. It shouldn't surprise me, of course, your wisdom always shines through. I'm so glad the youtube community has you for a resource. Thank you so much for your willingness to take us along on this journey.

To anyone watching this video------ this is all Excellent advice! Especially that you do not know how long the crisis will last but it Will end! ( My family crisis took 20yrs ---- but just when i thought there was no end ----- the End Came ! ,..and my son's life was rescued and he is living a normal life again). 😊 . Hoping that your crisis is quickly resolved. 😘

Thank you for the advice. We have been in the trenches of family dramas for a couple of years now.❤

Jen, I am so deeply sorry that you are going through this! Your tips here are 100% true. I lost a parent a couple of years ago and it's only in retrospect that I wish I had done the things you mention here. For some of us, we try to busy ourselves with work, projects and distractions. That does NOT help and WILL catch up to you eventually. I like the advice of removing all non-essential tasks for a time. Thanks for this.

Thank you Jen. You have very good points and I hope you are doing all those things. In the last 2 years I lost my sweet husband 3 weeks after a cancer diagnosis and 1 week before our daughter’s wedding. I also saw my oldest child go through addiction treatment and he is doing well now. Somehow we made it through and you will too. I can see your wisdom, love for your family and kindness. Just do one thing at a time.

Thank you for this. This came at a perfect time for me. My dad’s been in the ICU this past week.

Brilliant video Jen and so much love and strength being sent to you and your loved ones xx ❤

I went through this with my mom. I took it day by day hour by hour. I never lost sight that my mom was always the parent never the child. Strength and love to you and your loved one Jen. ❤

Jen, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your wisdom with us. #6 really got me! I keep reminding myself, “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” With you in solidarity.

Thanks for sharing Jen. You are so RIGHT nothing prepares us for these life moments that everyone will go through. We need to get better at sharing so we can all cope better when faced with these tough times. Best to you.

Thank you for sharing these tips. My mom has dementia and it’s a cruel disease. Everyday can be different and we embrace the good ones. Having a supportive group is so helpful. It’s amazing when you start talking about it how many people are walking the same journey.

My 16 yr old son died 15 months ago and I didn’t know it was possible to be in survival mode for so long. And I appreciate you talking about the hard stuff because it’s true that we in our society just look and want people to be better. Especially lately I’ll hear from ppl that I haven’t heard from for months that say “hope you’re doing better…” well thanks actually no. But I have learned that it’s okay to not be okay. There are situations that are so impossibly hard that of course you’re not okay. And people who haven’t walked through really hard things just don’t get it. So anyway, thank you for sharing the messy middle. I’ll be here for a long time. 💔💗

I appreciate you bringing up this topic up and sharing your current situation. ❤

I was involved in a car accident back in October of last year. Its been months of stress and depression. I am still Going through physical therapy. It feels like there is no end. But I keep saying to myself after hell breaks loose , joy will come in the end. I am a Believe in God And I believe this is what has kept me going.

Hey Jenn, I wish you all the best as you navigate this. We navigated dementia with an incredibly loved one, and it was tough. Wishing you peace ❤.

So sorry that you are going through such a tough time. I have been through many of these myself, but a few months ago was faced with a situation for my child that shook me to my core. Although we are still walking through it, slowly and carefully, it will likely be a life long struggle. These things you shared are so on point that you could have been speaking directly to me in the days and weeks that followed our situation. Thank you for your advice and recommendations and hugs to you as you navigate the rough times. 🤗

Hey Jen! I have had panic attacks since childhood. Most likely five years old. It was manageable (3-4 a year) to UNCONTROLLABLE after lockdown! I am 30 now. Thank you for being so open about mental health. Watching you travel and enjoying life has truly been a joy while I am housebound with this uncontrollable panic/extreme anxiety. You become so much more human and personable opening up and relating to what I assume is a large audience of us who experience this extreme stress!

Thank you Jen for your insight. Even if this video helps one person it’s worth it. In my situation I had to learn to accept help, delegate, take notes because you will not remember important things, turn your phone on silent when you need time out (they will leave a message), walk walk walk, and meditate. Listen to your inner child and be thankful for all the wonderful times you have experienced with your family. There will be peace again. 🦋❤

You hit the nail on the head with all of these! This is such wonderful advice and wish I had it when I was going through one of my major crisis. Thank you!

Great advice as usual Jen. Love your thoughts from the mundane to the scariest things in life. Full of wisdom. Sending positive vibes so you can apply all your tips to your own situation and do take care of yourself and your loved ones.

Excellent advice as usual, Jen.

Thank you for this good advice!

Thank you for this advice. I think it is spot on. I’m sorry you’re going through this. In particular with the emotional vampires I totally agree. I once saw diagram of a bunch of circles and it said whoever is going through the situation is inthe center and then the closest people to them are the first circle around them and then people who are close but not as close are in the next circle around them and so on. And it said you never look to anybody in a circle closer to the center for help, comfort, etc. instead, you try to provide comfort to those closer to the center than you.

Good god I needed this so bad. Thank you, Jen for being such a breath of fresh air when so many of us need it! Praying for you during this time too!

Thank you Jen. My only family, my mum, was diagnosed with Mixed Dementia in January 2020. What a year eh? She lives with me. Has definitely affected my life. Was diagnosed with an Orbital tumour after that and I now have Fibrosis of the Lungs due to a very severe allergic reaction to Duck feather pillows of all things. Ended up very sick in hospital. Still on masses of Steroids and other medications. I also suffer badly with Osteoarthritis. My life will never be the same. Only just getting some day care for her organised. I haven't had a day free in these 4 years. I know what you mean about looking after yourself. I hardly get time to shower, brush teeth etc. I have some amazing friends but yes some have cut us off slowly. You're exactly right. One friend sends a I hope you're alright text once a month. Just decided today to cut the ties. It's like you've been reading my mind. You talk great sense Jen and I have really appreciated your advice tonight. I have so much going on that you don't think clearly yourself. I really hope everything is absolutely fine with your breast screening. Bless you. Sending you hugs Jen.

Thank you for this video. I'm currently dealing with a crisis that I don't really count as a crisis anymore because it's happened so many times, but it's still hard and it still consumes a lot of my physical and emotional energy. These reminders are very helpful because it's very easy to just stop everything and only deal with the bad thing at the expense of one's health, sanity, and other responsibilities. Anyway, thank you. And here's a big hug ❤

You all ready know some of the things I’ve gone through the last few years. Praying for you my friend. 🙏🏽

This was an eye openning vlog. Thank you for sharing.

Great info. Sending best wishes to you. So true and wonderful advice.

❤thank you. I’m in the midst of by BC journey - the last day of radiation was today. I am a FT caregiver to my dad with Alzheimer’s and I came home to an excessive amount of stress. I swear when I don’t feel well he’s off the charts. He is in the moderate stage and I’m living with him for 1.5 years and 2 years I lived down the road. I’m still learning to manage day by day but nothing can prepare you for the ride. FB groups for caregivers is definitely a relief. Cooking from scratch, having routines, and learning to shut your feelings / emotions off is necessary to survive ( Im Still learning this one). Everyone journey is different. God bless !

1. Thank you for sharing these helpful tips. 2. Thank you for talking about the Alzheimer's Society and what they can do to help caregivers. Not a lot of people know who to reach out to for guidance when a family member is diagnosed with dementia. And they feel alone. But you are not alone ❤

I’ve watched this 4 times now!its real helping especially that last bit.

Thank you for making this video Jen ❤ I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. I have also been going through a very hard time and feel like I'm drowning but still trying to manage my life, work, and family. I'm exhausted all the time but can't sleep. There is not a moment that this crisis is not on my mind.

Sending love and hugs your way my friend I wish I had this to help me when I was dealing with so very much about 15 years ago! But, we got this! Much love.

Thank you for this video. Plenty of kindness and wisdom here, thank you xx

This was so good 🙏🏻🙏🏻. Thank you for sharing!

The video I didn’t realise I needed! Thank you for being so open and honest whilst you are still going through this. Makes me feel a lot less alone. Reminder to do the next right thing. X

I was in second grade when i first heard of Alzheimer's. My grandma had a stroke, and then a fall, and then slowly became more confused. Helping my aunt take care of her during my middle school years, is one of the things that led me to being a music teacher. While most of her world was gone, i could practice piano, singing, or my viola and she would calm down and listen. She passed away when I was in 9th grade. Thats probably the first of the big challenges in my life. I have had to learn some of your suggestions the hard way. Something I would like to add as panic wasnt really my problem, it is okay to not be okay. I spent a lot of time in the most challenging times of my life being level headed and okay. It took many years of therapy to be as emotional as i can be now, which for some people still will appear to be somewhat unaffected. This is a great video, I am truly sorry that you are working through the diagnosis of a loved one. Also because i am late to the video congrats on the good MRI results. I also have a genetic mutation making me more prone to cancer as well. (Really trying not to trauma dump just offering a person to talk/message with who has been and is going through that) Sending you prayers and good thoughts.

We are with you on this journey🫶🏼 Our family lived the advanced stage Alzheimer’s journey for two years. While heavy at times, there are small glimpses of joy along the way as well.

Needed this. Also going through some family crises. Feels like it will never end. 😢

Thank you. Your tips will help many people.

This whole video speaks to my soul. 👏 So beautifully shared, thank you Jen. I love “Just do the next right thing” we are here for each other. ❤

Ṭhank you for sharing. I pray things will get better. My family went through this last summer, and I did exactly what you are saying here. This video will bless many

I am sorry you are going through this, but I want to say thank you. Just prior to seeing this video I was sitting on an airplane with teary eyes feeling on an island with our situation. Hearing you verbalize your six points was helpful, but especially the energy vampires. I was feeling guilty about cutting some vampires out right now because I don’t have the energy. It made me feel so much better. Again thank you for doing this through your pain.

Great topic. One thing I would add to your list is nothing ever goes as planned. You can talk to the right people, have an action plan and a curve ball is thrown everything goes out the window. So being able to roll with punches and be flexible is key.

Thank you sooo much for this video! I found it immensely helpful; to hear what I'm doing right and what I need to prioritize. Also, in a way, permission to make those needed changes that others might say are selfish, but are actually necessary. Thank you Jen ❤

This is a great video! We hope we don’t have to be faced with very stressful situations but most of us will be. These are very practical tips that make so much sense.

Your timing with your videos always feels in synchronicity with my life. Thanks for this advice. 🫶 I remember a friend who was going through immense grief told me that it’s better for them when people DO things instead of say things. Meaning, instead of saying “lemme know if there’s anything I can do for you” or “let’s get together soon” - to send them a gift card or meal, to drop by and bring a candle over, etc., so anytime I have a friend grieving, I try to keep that advice in mind instead of the glib messages.

Going through a lot with my parents health/age issues right now too and it is so stressful. Best of luck to everyone navigating these kind of situations.

Saving this to my Wisdom playlist - this is such brilliant, beautiful advice for protecting ourselves when life hits hard. ❤ I especially appreciate your suggestion to talk to a professional. The people closest to us, who we usually rely on, can't help when they're right down there in the stressful situation with us. I find the ring theory / circle of grief concept incredibly powerful - seek support from someone further from the center of the crisis than yourself.

Thank you. Much appreciated.

I really needed to hear this from you today, Jen. I cried through most of it! I'm so sorry you are also going through a period of extreme stress. My mum has Alzheimer's (she's only 67) and I am her sole carer. We are constantly in crisis with the police or social services at the moment. I have three young children and an incredibly stressful and demanding more than full-time job. She was my best friend and now I have no one to turn to. It. Is. So. Hard. I can't even see straight most days. Thank you for your sage advice. I am going to implement the things you are suggesting.

After going through many many years of helping my dad after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis which is very hard as the mental capacity diminishes and also therefore supporting my mom who also had heart disease and being carers for them both as well as working parttime myself and raising my own young family at the time I can say I know how hard it is for all concerned. I lost myself for a few years as I was pulled in so many directions and never felt I was giving enough to any of them - it’s extremely extremely hard. Now I would give anything to have them both her again. Take care . Xx

Our then 12 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with A.L.L Acute Lymphomablastic Leukaemia last June ‘23. We’re still going through treatment she was on 4 months of 24/7 chemotherapy… She has improved some but no end of treatment in sight yet…..🙏🏻 She continues to get better. She’s now 13 and has adjusted ( as young cancer patients do!) So sorry your super stressed but totally understandable in your situation…your mum is lucky to have you with her. Eating properly for everyone is essential in times of stress/ crisis…. If your health starts to deteriorate then it has a massive knock on effect to the situation and the person/ persons involved with the disease/stress/ crisis… All good advice but it’s VERY hard in the darkest times…. We know what we should be doing but you get wrapped in the situation….. In the UK when ANYTHING happens the 1st thing we do is put the kettle on and make a cup of tea!!! ❤️and🙏🏻 for you,your mum and family….🇬🇧

Perfect timing.

Thank you for a very insightful video. It’s amazing you were able to do this considering all you have on your plate right now. I’ve been there. My father died unexpectedly during the worst of the pandemic. I had to fly halfway across the country to a state that had one of the worst rates of Covid at the time. My brother with special needs was suddenly alone. Funeral arrangements, insurance, banks, lawyers, etc etc. some days I felt like I couldn’t even breathe, like the panic was going to take over. But I tried to tackle one thing at a time and give myself some rest time. It took months but eventually everything was resolved, house emptied and sold and my brother relocated to our home. Becoming my brother’s caregiver comes with its own stress but we are making it work. I’m sorry you are in the middle of such a stressful situation and I hope you will take good care of yourself even if it means we don’t hear from you as often. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.

Thank you for this video. I've needed to hear this many times. My daughter needs to hear it now.

I set alarms in my mom's phone, because she would forget to eat. ( but denied having beginning stages of alz. I asked when she felt most comfortable eating, and plugged in those times. Yes it sometimes would go off in drs office. But she'd say, that's my daughters alarm to remind me to eat.

Sending you good positive energy ❤

So helpful. Where have you been my whole life

I'm very sorry what you're going through.. Personally, when I have had hard times, it really helps me that my friends are texting me that they are thinking of me and to contact them WHEN I'm ready. They give me space but still let me know they're there for me when I need them. That helps me but everyone is different.

My heartfelt condolences regarding your friend! Losing a loved one to Alzheimer's is almost like losing them to death. Your suggestions here are spot on, though. Thank you!

So sorry you are on this journey. I sometimes feel like I haven't been off the rollercoaster for years. 2020 my dad went into hospice at home for almost 2 months. I was with him when he passed. My mom will be 97 in September and refuses to move out of her home (I understand). She takes care of my older brother who is mentally disabled. At least twice a week I am at her house running errands, grocery shopping.... 2022 I was diagnosed with BC, I feel fortunate that I didn't need chemo or radiation. I work full time, in the office 2 days per week. My husband is semi-retired, but refuses to help. My outlet during these You will too.

Excellent, helpful advice. I have found the Alzheimer’s society extremely helpful and so nice to talk to at any time and have followed up with me. My mom has been diagnosed with dementia after not returning from a hair appointment and was missing for 9 !.2 hours. Found safely and hour and a half from home in the middle of a major city. Scary. I am better at taking care of others than myself… I really need to rematch this over and over!!!! THank you

So sorry to hear this struggle you are going through. I swear we must be kindred spirits, or going through the same life cycles (kids in college) time of our life. Your kids are starting to spread their wings and then boom!!!! Life throws you a curve ball and you feel like you have to take two steps back. Thanks for your helpful tips. Hopefully, it's like a wave that will pass on through and get better. Some days it's tough when have to face whatever it is head on that day. But you have to show your kids life goes on. :) Best wishes!

This is 100% accurate and I'm so sorry to hear you're living this right now Jen. Every item you list rings true and I remember it well. In 2008, my wonderful husband was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, stage 4, gbm. It was the most devastating, shocking and unimaginable news. It was truly out of nowhere and he was the guy who did everything right. To this day, it almost seems surreal and I do not know how my kids and I survived but here we are. We all have such inner strength and an ability to adapt and you strike me as someone who can manage enough the most difficult situation. Hugs to you and your family Jen.

I am very much hoping your test goes well❤️ My mom has dementia. My father recently passed away and I am now her primary caregiver. This is a tough journey. I am going to order the vitamins. I feel this is something I can actually control. We will hang in there together❤️❤️❤️

I think people underestimate the importance of self care during a crisis and I think your usual sign off is more important today than ever. ..”whatever you are doing today I hope you are finding joy”. It is critical in a crisis to carve out a break of some kind, whether it be a walk around the block, a 20 minute tea break, etc. … you can’t be “on” 24/7. You’ll be no help to anyone if you’re burnt out. As you know, you and I are living parallel lives and I have a good sense of what you’re going through. There will be light at the end of the tunnel my friend. Hang in there!

I have family and friends that ask me these questions and I just nod. I would recommend for anyone trying to help someone in this journey to ask if you can take care of their yard for a few weeks, or come and vacuum, wash their car, bring over or get a meal delivered. Take their garbage to the curb or dumps or shop for them. Take them for a pedicure or hire a sitter for a few hours for they can just escape.

So many truths in here. Having another set of ears if you can in the drs office can be so helpful because that kind of stress prevents proper encoding of what you are hearing. Also so true is how these stresses, even when you think you are not actively thinking about them, are running in the background and draining you. Exhaustion, lack of focus, and moving super slowly are the signs that this is happening to me. Thank you for managing to get this out during this difficult time. Of course we’d understand if you need a break!

I am so sorry you're going through this with your mom. It's rough with a lot of uncertainty. I went through similar with my father after of a stroke who also had other health issues. It was hard to realize I could not care for him in his home or mine. I was still working and had a young daughter. Managed to find a great facility who specializes with ahlzhimer. Although he didn't have that he had dementia due to the stroke. I had to be appointed as his guardian with social security as well as other legal appointed responsibilities.,. I carried my "Dad bag" with me constantly for 4 years to have appropriate ppwk for numerous hospital admissions, etc. I did experienced a lot of guilt but knew this was the best option as he needed 24 hr care with all his health issues.

I completely agree with your advice. My Mom died suddenly 10 years ago and then 6 months later my Dad’s cancer came back. My two sisters and I cared for him in his home for the next 6 months until he died. During this time my oldest son graduated from high school, my first grandson was born and my daughter went through extreme postpartum depression with suicidal thoughts. She brought her baby to my Dad’s house and I watched them both. To say I was extremely stressed was an understatement. 1/3 to 1/2 of my time I spent with my Dad, day and night. Fortunately his mind stayed sharp while his body declined and we had lots of good conversations. I will forever cherish that time even though it was painful. For me, prayer and my faith in God is what carried me through that time. I would cry out to God and say I can’t do this and He would give me the strength that I needed in that moment. It was surprising to me the people who were helpful and the ones who were not. I let go of a long time friendship when I realized it was based on me being there for her but when I was in need she wasn’t there for me. I know your situation is very different from mine with your Mom having Alzheimer’s. Cherish those good moments that you have with her. I think you’re already doing this but cry, let it out. We have horses and I literally sat in the barn at times and screamed and cried. I also did that at times when I was alone in the car. Sometimes it just needs to come out. For me it was probably because I tend to be stoic and it would build up. I don’t like to cry in front of other people. Thank you for addressing the hard things. That is what I like about your channel is that you’re not afraid to show real life. The good and the bad.

I think your last thing on the list might have been the most important for me. I've been there done that on most of the big life issues and each and every time I tell myself "this is going to pass, I might not like the results but it's going to be over so just hold on" It's a trite saying but true "this too shall pass". I also tell myself another trite but true saying "we are never given anything we can't handle". It might feel like this is it, this is the last big thing I can handle, I just can't. But you can. (maybe a long hard cry in the shower so no one can hear you helps, just saying). When both my parents died of long hard illness, people would ask hubby what can I do? He would tell them to leave me alone. I deal better by myself. I don't need or want the "sorry for your loss". When you see me next, just go on with life and so will I.

These are the things to think about when you want to help friends at these times too. Instead of saying “how can I help,” just do something that aids them in doing one of the things you are talking about here. Unnecessary thing-at one of my most stressful times I had a 2YO, a 1 month old that I was breastfeeding, an incredibly sick husband (in the hospital whole month of December) , and a full-time job. My father-in-law showed up with a pile of paper plates and told me “now is not the time to wash dishes.” That tiny thing was so helpful for me.

My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. It is hard to watch a loved one go through this. I’m sorry for this. Hang in there.

I appreciate you sharing this information and using your platform to educate others. My son went through a mental health crisis several years ago. It was horrendous , and I found that reminding myself that I could get through it really helped. All of your tips are on point, but I would add that energy vampires likely don’t know what else to do.

Such a needed video, especially when it can be easy to forget all rationale when you’re in the thick of it.

We almost lost my mom july 2022 because she had aggressive non hodgkins lymphoma and they were dragging their feet on starting chemo because she still seemed OK but within 72 hours of that she was almost dead. Luckily she got the chemo and a ton of transfusions and multiple stays in the hosiptal and is in remission from the aggressive form and now just on maintenence treatment but even now it's still scary because she gets sick easily with having a weak immune system. But yeah during that first 6 months ut was so hard on all of us and I had so much stress and anxiety because I'm so close to her. You just somehow keep on with the daily life and try to be thankful for the little joys

My husband of 18 years walked out on my boys and I two weeks ago…. Totally feeling the stress, panic and crisis - devastated and heartbroken