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A playthrough of Sony Imagesoft's 1994 license-based beat 'em up for the Super Nintendo, Last Action Hero.
Last Action Hero was the Schwarzenegger movie from my childhood that I always wanted to like. I was a middle-schooler when it came out, and I doubt any other demographic would've better been better positioned to appreciate the potential of a big-budget action/comedy starring Hollywood's resident one-man army.
But even as a a twelve year old, I distinctly remember feeling bored as I watched it. The special effects were great, but I couldn't help but see the film as little more than a painfully unfunny retread of The Neverending Story. I probably couldn't have articulated that for you at that age, but suffice it to say, I was not a fan.
Still, that didn't stop me from nabbing the game for a weekend rental. The folly of youth in action, I suppose it was. I must've been the very image of Bart Simpson reaching again and again for the electrified cupcake, foolishly expecting a different result each time.
That is to say, Last Action Hero is not a good game.
It's a beat 'em up at its core, but it's one that seems to be ripped straight out of the dark ages of NES game design. There are no combos, no special moves, no weapons, no interactive background elements: it reminds me of Bad Street Brawler but with fewer moves at your disposal. Ouch.
Barring a couple of short-lived car segments and an obnoxious fist-fight with a helicopter (!), the game consists entirely of punching and kicking the same generic thugs to death again and again. You only have two moves - a slow punch, and an even slower kick - and every encounter boils down to dodging an enemy hit, running in to take a swipe, and jumping back before they can retaliate. Moves can't be strung together, there's no blocking or rolling mechanic in place, and when you're killed, you get to restart the stage from the very beginning.
It's all excessively repetitive, insultingly simple, and needlessly irritating to play.
The graphics are homely and do a poor job of representing the movie (why does Arnie look like a warehouse worker with a receeding hairline?), and the music does everything in its power to put you off of the game from the start. It's loud, grating, and tuneless, and the samples are among the worst attempts at electric guitar I've heard on the SNES.
There's a bit of an interview on Hardcoregaming101 with Peter Baron, the game's programmer, who attempts to explain what went wrong with Last Action Hero if you care to read it: www.hardcoregaming101.net/last...
I almost felt for the guy after I read that, but then it dawned on me that he also acted as the lead programmer and designer for Wolverine: Adamantium Rage. Like the old adage goes, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Console game development was clearly not Mr. Baron's forte.
For what it's worth, Last Action Hero is a far less painful experience than Wolverine: Adamantium Rage was, and while there are all sorts of comically unkind comparisons I could draw to make my point here, I'll restrain myself.
In short: don't bother. It's garbage.
You can find my video of the NES version of Last Action Hero here: • Last Action Hero (NES)...
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No cheats were used during the recording of this video.
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