How to piss off 2 dictators and 1 company in 20 minutes

My mans just baked a 600 square foot cake to piss off a dictator. I can't even...

“I guess we don’t run a brutal enough dictatorship to meet Guinness Book of World Records high ethical standards.” That was a legendary burn.

I’m glad this episode looks trivial on the outside, because it truly understands how to upset a dictator. Sure John and crew could go into details about war atrocities and how bad his country is, but dictators kinda like that. It gives them a scary look and they can wear their monstrous deeds like a little gold star. By focusing on the shit that makes them look weird and ridiculous, they are humanized and brought down to the childish level they operate at, the kind of “no critics” egotistical fuckery that festers when you literally kill everyone who disagrees with you. There’s a reason why dictators take care of comedians early on... they cannot stand to be mocked. And that’s not fair considering how much hilarious source material they give us to work with.

John Oliver has big “hold my beer” and “watch this” energy with a big budget

And THIS is why John Oliver wins the goddamn Emmy EVERY YEAR!!!!!!!!

“That might be the single most ethically defensible use of drones in the Middle East.” The laughter that cut short and immediately turned into gasps has given me new life

John could do a whole show on Guinness World Records. That tangent scratched the surface of how corrupt the organization has become.

"I guess we don't run a brutal enough dictatorship that meets Guinness Book of World Records' high ethical standards". That burn was hotter than the fire pit around which you have to do donuts to prove that you're alive.

Thinks this is gonna be a 20 minute video exposing a dictator *Actually exposes Guinness World Records*

The 'nay' joke is arguably one of the funniest dad jokes I have ever heard 😂💀

Guinness public response to this episode is just epic. “We were disappointed to see the false and unfair allegations about Guinness World Records in Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The piece appears to have been motivated by our decision not to participate in tonight’s show. We were asked to provide a judge to officiate the so-called world record attempt for ‘largest cake with an image of someone falling off a horse.’ On the basis that it was merely an opportunity to mock one of our record-holders, we declined. It is our policy not to partake in any activities which may belittle their achievements or subject them to ridicule”

HBO: John? Why do we have a 200 thousand dollar invoice from a Bakery? John: *Laughs in Emmys*

John Oliver explaining to HBO his budget must look like DnD players trying to convince the DM to accept their totally absurd plan.

The leader before him (Saparmurat Niyazov aka Turkmenbashi; which means "Leader of the Turkmen") almost built an ice palace in the middle of a desert, renamed months after his family, and named a city after himself. He also made people read his book the Ruhnama, basically his book of opinions that all Turkmen had to agree with. If you want to drive, you had to pass a test about the Ruhnama. Did I mention he ALSO had a golden statue of himself that rotated so that it would ALWAYS face the Sun, to symbolize that his age was the golden age? AND he was the one who spent the country's natural gas money on all those fancy marble buildings in the capital instead of on the people's needs? Yeah, his predecessor was just as crazy, if not CRAZIER than he was.

As an ex-citizen of Turkmenistan, I love you John!

I’ll admit, I did not expect this to turn into a Guinness World Records exposé

I looked it up and, unsurprisingly, Guinness World Records still doesn't acknowledge Last Week Tonight's marble cake, but luckily the wikipedia page on marble cake does.

Four years later and that family is still running things. My heart goes out to you, Turkmenistan.

Just coming back here to tell you that *Gurbanguly's son, Serdar, succeeds in his father's role as the president of Turkmenistan.*

Who wants a 30 min John Oliver expose on Guinness World Records?

I don't know what's more impressive...that ginormous cake or John pronouncing Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov perfectly every time

Even though this is four years old, I still remember this man’s name, and occasionally when I’m sleeping, I whispered to myself “Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow”

I was a bit part of the Guiness largest twister game. Although, Guiness denied the claim because we made the twister mat with canvas and not the original material twister is made from. Not long after the record was given to a university group in the U.S. They stitched twister mats together and was approved for the record. Our twister mat was 5 times bigger....

*August 12, 2019: The day Guinness World Records officially became a joke. Nice work, Oliver and crew.*

“Do horses like him?” “The answer is a direct quote” “ n e i g h” -John Oliver, 2019

This is by far my favorite episode. It has it all. Attacking an authoritarian, a big company and it all ends in some weird stunt only Oliver and his team could come up with. I love it

Gee, John sure didn’t want to waste all the time he took learning to pronounce the guy’s name

So, Guinness World Record actually a p2w company. What a trash institution.

"Imagine owning 10% of the world's total of anything"... Says the man who owns more than 10% of the world's total of presidential wax statues

Rest in peace Berdimuhamedov, you will be missed. You went out doing what you loved, disappearing people into the middle of the desert.

This man, and his writers, and an international treasure. "The answer, and this is s direct quote, is, "Neigh".

I swear to god that there's a private stash of dollars in the HBO headquarters that says "In case John Oliver Asks for smtg" LOL

I love how Berdimuhamedov is so profoundly weird we just completely glossed over the fact that Turkmenistan has a giant fire pit known as the gateway to Hell, because he was driving around it in a truck to prove he's alive.

“and this is a direct quote: ‘neigh,’” got me coughing on the porch. bless these writers

"He also likes horses, like alot, like an incorrect amount" Had me rolling.. 🤣🤣🤣

God this man should win a record for “most world leaders successfully trolled” I love him

Guiness World Records: "Our brand is aligned with kids and families." Also Guiness World Records: "Hey kids, wanna hear about the oldest male stripper?"

"President Equis" that writer needs a raise 🤣🤣🤣

This is so great our politics teacher literally watched it with us in class

This show just officially delegitimize Guinness World Records. Well done.

"I guess we just don't run a brutal enough dictatorship" Damn. Who hasn't had that problem amirite?

This is the greatest "Last Week Tonight" episode ever. I can watch it on loop forever and it's still funny. I need a part 2 and update.

This is the video that lives rent free in my mind. I will never get tired of rewatching it.

John never ceases to impress me with the sheer scope of his willingness to doll out HBO's money for amazing petty shit. I love this man so much.

“I guess we don’t run a brutal enough dictatorship to meet Guinness World Record’s High ethical standards” 😂😂

HBO: John, where did the budget for the entire years worth of shows go? John: CAKE!

Can we just appreciate how John's writing team can plan all these separate hilarious parts of the ending shenanigans to flow together so well that i physically wiggle with joy as he starts to near the big reveal Also a big part of that John's serious deadpan with a sprinkling of childlike levels giddy in his delivery. "Who wants some fucking cake?!" *Me screaming at my phone* Fuck yes I want some cake!

John Oliver is basically a 11 year old who gets his budget approved for his ridiculous wishes, you absolute mad lad. 👏👏

“Most ethically defensible use of drones in the Middle East” 😆

Thank you John Oliver. I can watch this a hundred times and not get tired of it.

This is the best John Oliver segment. I've just rewatched it a fifth time, and it never gets less weird or funny.

"Clap for me, cyclists" John screams as he holds the big golden fork like an Olympic bar

Three world records set here: 1. World's largest cake. 2. Most savage television comedian. 3. Best show of all time.

I think I can safely say, Oliver is the only host I know of who can speak for both sides of the aisle and annoy the hell out of all the right people, politics aside. Well done, sir.

The "Only if I was Horse" is one of my favorite jokes John's ever done. I don't know why, but the sheer earnestness of the joke and his delivery just makes me chuckle every time.

“Well shit...” -Guinness World Records PR department

Imagine being one of the audiences who gets to bring a portion of the cake home, and later tell your family that you're having 1% of the Turkmenistan leader's most embarrassing moment for dessert.

Him lifting the fork at the end to call back to the dictator lifting the shower rod was amazing.

I love how, before showing the clip of him falling off the horse, John specified that the horse was okay

Wouldn't be surprised if Berdimuhamedov and his grandson reply to John with a diss track lmao

“The world's largest marble cake was made for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, for an episode on Turkmenistan's authoritarian president Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow. It is a at 600 sq/ft cake featuring an edible image of Berdimuhamedow falling off a horse, with a marble-textured frame and red trimmings. According to Oliver, Guinness World Records, which was criticized in the episode for its relations with authoritarian regimes, refused to certify the record unless the show signed a contract prohibiting it from criticizing the company. The cake was presented on 11 August 2019 and shared with the show's audience, with the remains going to City Harvest.” -Wikipedia’s article on “Marble Cake.”

I lived in Turkmenistan many years ago and after 15 years I visited Ashgabat again. And there were lots of marble houses. Unfortunately people don’t afford to buy apartments there so some of them are empty

I feel like the hilarity of a row of deadpan cyclists ( 20:10 ) applauding John Oliver is greatly underrated

John Oliver needs to make a playlist of every song he has called "fire".

I will now forever remember the largest cake with a picture of a man falling was done by last week tonight team we dont need some shady company for this

I still to this day remember his name Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov because of this. John Oliver is a great teacher for remembering things.

I keep coming back to this. It's one of my favorite Oliver segments. A perfect encapsulation of the aesthetic of authoritarians and authoritarian states. Reality is a better warning than the bravest and most perceptive dystopian literary effort that anyone could ever dare to offer up.

I'm so glad we stole John Oliver from the UK, he is a true national treasure.

This breaks the Guinness World Record for "Issue I Would Never Have Been Remotely Aware of If It Wasn't for John Oliver."

_Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhamedow stepped down as president on 19 March 2022, being succeeded by his son, Serdar, who won a snap election deemed as neither free nor fair._

I love that this episode was just an upbeat, fun, watchable piece of TV

HBO: So what will you do with the money you’re asking? JO: Bake the largest marble cake depicting a man falling off a horse. ... HBO: Deal.

I love how the official Guinness World Records website page for the World's Largest Marble Cake a) still lists the 1,600 sqft cake from 2017 in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia AND b) is the only page I could find with comments disabled

Watching it again almost 2 years later. One of the best episodes.

May very well be THE best episode of this show when it's all said and done. Legendary

HBO : ..so John .. what happened to the 20.000 dollars we gave you.. John : I made a cake.

That ending was quintessentially John Oliver. He went to the extreme, then passed it, and then went past that too just because.

The...applause? So spontaneous, so from-the-heart for Berdi! Cheers....

For the curious who are watching this in 2023: Berdimuhamedov 'stepped down' as President of Turkmenistan last year, with his son Serdar taking over. I put that in quotes because he became the new head of so-called 'People's Council of Turkmenistan', meaning that he is still de facto leader of the country (though he 'shares power' with Serdar). And yet, in spite all of this, he is STILL somehow less batshit than his predecessor Turkmenbashi.

“I burst out of suits like I’m Meghan Markle” - Bars!!🔥🔥🔥🔥

How many countries is John Oliver not welcomed in again?

I’ve watched every one of these videos multiple times. I listen to them as I go to sleep every night. And this is by far still my favourite one. This guy is just so ridiculous 🥲 from his name to faking a bunch of stupid things to his crazy horse obsession. 10/10 the most weird and horrible autocrat that I’ve heard of

That ending scene is absolutely epic. Cant convince me otherwise.

John Oliver is the gold standard for late-night television. We are very lucky to have him.

I’d love to work on John Oliver’s staff. They should have their own show showing the lengths they go to attempting to satisfy this madman 😭😭

This is one of my favorite comedy episodes… ever. I was laughing so hard for the entire time

This is more thorough then actual 20 minute long compilations

"President Equus here likes horses, but do horses like him? The answer is, and this is a direct quote, is "Neigh."" Give whoever wrote that joke a freaking raise. That was hilarious.

John "Travel banned from Turkmenistan" Oliver. Keep up the good work

I didn’t plan to watch an entire 20 minute video, but I am so glad I did

"The original Paul McCartney" gets me every time 😂

"Unfortunately there was only one copy of his book..." :'( "...and it appears someone bought it, shipped it to New York, and put it under my desk." :D

TIL: Guinness, the official book of middle school book fairs everywhere, is an autocrat enabler.

That was a burn so severe, I can still smell it all the way to germany. Thank you for that piece, John Oliver!

I won't lie. Every time I come back to rewatch this episode, I get the craving for some cake.

That cake in the end was priceless... slamming that government and the guinness book of world records standards

HBO: "So where did the budget for this episode go?" John: "...cake." HBO: "I am sorry, what?"

This was john at his peak. absolutely perfect!

That John can say this guy's name so well so fast blows my mind. I wonder how much he had to practice it.