Lawyer ASMR - Ridiculous Closing Statement w/ Tapping Sounds, Feather Stroking, and (warning) a Gun

Рет қаралды 148,806

4 жыл бұрын

#asmr
HA! Bee? And a porpoise?
Welcome to law - population you, and a jury of your peers. Get down outta that tree, I said ‘peers’, not ‘pears’! Stapler? I hardly know them!
This parody video is of a fairly sub part lawyer making the case for his client. Unusually, triggers included are feather stroking, tapping, stapler sounds, and a gun. Enjoy!
I’m on Tingles! Jimchi-ASMR
Like my content? Consider supporting me on Patreon! patreon.com/Jim_ASMR
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Why not see some pictures of my cats on Insta? Gaijimbo
Any additional sound effects from www.zapsplat.com
Disclaimer: This video is intended for relaxation. Any views, opinions, or advice expressed is purely for the purpose of entertainment, and to induce tingles through ASMR. These videos are not a substitute for traditional medicine, therapy, or any other professional medium, and should not be treated as such! Take all the advice with a pinch of salt, and certainly don’t take it to heart. That being said, please enjoy them, benefit from them, and hopefully get those warm, tingly feelings. Oh, and it’s not for kids.

Пікірлер: 536

@StaraviaXIII 4 жыл бұрын

I plead the fish

@cassiopeiadee9306 4 жыл бұрын

🐟

@tammyv.asmrcattailsotherstorie 4 жыл бұрын

This had me rolling! Well done👏👏👏👏😄

@fighterflight 4 жыл бұрын

Spoiler alert 🚨 🐠 🐟

@kaptainkurt1447 4 жыл бұрын

Best screen name ever

@kaitd3816 4 жыл бұрын

Your trial is dead in the water.

@sour_milk_carton9930 4 жыл бұрын

"Truth is that I skipped breakfast today because I had to come to work to defend an innocent man" Golden opportunity for "and now I'm hungry... for justice"

@rahmreekoo86 4 жыл бұрын

👏

@HOTD108_ 3 жыл бұрын

That'll be in the Netflix adaptation of this video.

@ladyvader3173 4 жыл бұрын

"I dunno, it's Latin or something." My law school career in a nutshell

@Alunamai 4 жыл бұрын

Can be used about a history degree, too.

@Alunamai 4 жыл бұрын

When questioned, I've actually have said... "how should I know, it was 1800 or some crap."

@murraayyy999 4 жыл бұрын

“It’s ceremonial everything is ceremonial” -Archaeology

@etherealhawk 4 жыл бұрын

"It's just zeros and ones" - Computer Science

@fatjuicytaco 4 жыл бұрын

Same

@dylanchouinard6141 4 жыл бұрын

0/10 Didn’t begin with a “now I might be just a simple country lawyer”

@Watch880 4 жыл бұрын

This guy could walk in to buy a car and walk out with the dealership.

@seekthtruth 4 жыл бұрын

yup haha

@Doomlordof 4 жыл бұрын

We need more money!

@Watch880 4 жыл бұрын

David Allrich We need money, and time.

@ipaupa6496 3 жыл бұрын

We call that in Portugal Selling bibles to Muslims

@WORDSANDBRUSHSTROKESSTUDIO 4 жыл бұрын

The way the lawyer was speaking made me think he was the killer the whole time.

@natures__kingdom 2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@mollusckscramp4124 Жыл бұрын

He does have a suspiciously unlimited amount of access to latex gloves...

@theswisswereright 4 жыл бұрын

On my very first day of law school, my contracts professor told our whole class that when an opinion starts up with the Latin, we should just translate that as "here comes the bullshit," so when your first words were habeas corpus... As a Real Lawyer (TM), I feel like I've heard actual arguments from licensed attorneys that made about as much sense as this. 😂 Excellent work maligning my (our?) profession, Jim. Let me know if you ever need a consult on further videos on this scheme.

@parnmonkuma5461 3 жыл бұрын

Part II: Res Ipsa Loquitur

@porknbeans1977 4 жыл бұрын

"Habeus corpus. Nobody knows what it means." Buckle up guys, this is gonna get bumpy.

@ReallyTwistedHumor 4 жыл бұрын

I know what it means and how it applies to legal matters, which I can blame my English Literature lessons when I was 15 for

@wwolfmanbro9399 3 жыл бұрын

Studio Gible I didn’t really understand it when I looked it up. Do you think you could simplify it?

@TheRealJT_F1 3 жыл бұрын

@@wwolfmanbro9399 habeus corpus basically means the right to have a trial

@ajhuffenberger5413 4 жыл бұрын

“Toasters don’t toast! Toast toasts toast!” #DontBreadOnMe

@Smartfmella69 2 жыл бұрын

Bread to you

@kathrynedmiston594 4 жыл бұрын

I was cleaning my living room while i listened to this video, and imagined myself not as a client but a janitor who kept mopping the same five square feet of floor outside the court room so I could listen to this train wreck of a lawsuit go down.

@AStrawberryHedgehog 4 жыл бұрын

That’s a great mental image!

@AStrawberryHedgehog 4 жыл бұрын

That’s a great mental image!

@Zanyotaku 7 ай бұрын

This is an old comment but it made me laugh really hard in the middle of the night, stay relaxing

@islandred Ай бұрын

That’s a great mental image!

@Angel-ym2xc 4 жыл бұрын

This is me. Defending myself for every bad decision I have ever made. I think I qualify as a lawyer Jim. Teach me your ways. 😂😂

@ladyliberty417 4 жыл бұрын

Perhaps your truest gift is comedy? I just know I chuckled through the whole thing, admiring your generic American accent and insertions of ASMR sounds sprinkled throughout. You are a natural actor and this was a lovely addition to your body of work 🐠 I rest my case.🖤

@timothyprice3264 4 жыл бұрын

We all just gonna ignore 21:10 where he completely annihilated the Prosecutor?😂😂

@catsandcaffine3635 3 жыл бұрын

Damn he really Winston Payne

@bakedbeansman Ай бұрын

@@catsandcaffine3635 truly a Damon Gant.

@CW-xn1ot 4 жыл бұрын

"Objection! The Defense is tampering with evidence." "Overruled. It's relaxing."

@STUP1DSP1DER 4 жыл бұрын

Why was the feather the heaviest?? Why did it make that sound???😂 I can't get over that

@PatGamingApasStyle 4 жыл бұрын

There was no feather. There was never any feather.

@SerenityBane 4 жыл бұрын

One of my assignments for my honors students is a closing argument in a mock trial. I only wish they would be this entertaining.

@onewhoeatswindows8280 4 жыл бұрын

im... trying to follow this logic and my brain cant take it. jim is either completely unhinged or a genius. i dont know how he channels this sort of spirit so well but somehow he does it

@conorrigoli7578 4 жыл бұрын

He looks like Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird.

@knight8825 4 жыл бұрын

Bruh you have me dead

@audrienaromero2734 4 жыл бұрын

That'd be such an interesting roleplay honestly

@anna4756 3 жыл бұрын

He’s like a mix between Atticus Finch and Phoenix Wright’s personalities.

@JessKCreative 4 жыл бұрын

This really helped me tame a squirrelly brain and focus on some mundane work tasks. And once again I applaud your ability to do such a variety of American accents, some VERY subtly different from each other.

@passthepeace 4 жыл бұрын

This is Ace Attorney levels of wild and I'm entirely here for it. Thank you for this incredible content, as per usual.

@lauracrimson 4 жыл бұрын

"Innocent man? He killed 80 people in two days."

@vidzeerox 4 жыл бұрын

He's adopted!

@fighterflight 4 жыл бұрын

Vidhi Basu wha?

@murraayyy999 4 жыл бұрын

“He killed 30 children and wounded 5”

@SleepweaverASMR 4 жыл бұрын

@@murraayyy999 AND MY ONLY REGRET IS NOT FINISHING OFF THE OTHER 5!

@CW-xn1ot 4 жыл бұрын

@@murraayyy999 I'll do it again

@baileybailey6425 4 жыл бұрын

I just like how you keep explaining the definitions of the individual words not the legal terms. Just makes me think of every trail movie - pure bs but super entertaining. That wind-up arm thoooo!! 😂 Great job on the accent and the colloquialisms! I’m so happy to have found this channel! Jim you’re an absolute mensch🖖🏻🖖🏻🖖🏻

@danielle010481 4 жыл бұрын

Are you a fan of the tv show “The Office?” I feel like this is when Michael Scott says “ Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.” 😂🖤🙌

@cassiopeiadee9306 4 жыл бұрын

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason, whatsoever..

@danielle010481 4 жыл бұрын

Cassiopeia D 🙌🙌😂😂

@uxiagregorio9577 4 жыл бұрын

IT WAS THE GOLDFISH WITH THE STAPLER ON A CONCRETE WALL

@calbedard 4 жыл бұрын

This is not how I remember How to Get Away with Murder.

@evangelinemcdowell8114 4 жыл бұрын

He definitely forgot to introduce a new suspect 😱😱

@calbedard 4 жыл бұрын

@@evangelinemcdowell8114 Annalise Keating would be disappointed.

@autumngrace645 4 жыл бұрын

The ULTIMATE exhibit **starts stripping**

@Rosie-ij3on 4 жыл бұрын

🤣

@hyeronymus 3 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@ludmillasummers775 4 жыл бұрын

Habeas corpus: no one knows what it means. Me, criminal justice major: Well this oughta be a fun ride......

@monochromedream-eatingbaku 4 жыл бұрын

I have Latin at high-school so same. I just stopped dead in my tracks like "WHAT NOW???"

@sepiaswirl 4 жыл бұрын

I can't do it 😂😂😂😂 I can't. Jim stooooop that ending 😂 I was literally dozing off and then laughed so hard I dropped my phone against my face. Oh god, never stop doing these pleaaaase your comedy is so good.

@TinglesmithASMR 4 жыл бұрын

How are you able to put out such quality and such a herculean rate? Great stuff as always good sir :)

@datboisteve6992 4 жыл бұрын

Definitely my favorite episode of Law & Order: Special Fishing Unit.

@khav5562 4 жыл бұрын

I don’t ever really comment on videos but, I’ve been really going through massive mental issues during this quarantine and Almost every day since I found your channel about a month ago, I’ve been watching your videos and man, it genuinely feels good to just relax and ease my mind. You’re phenomenal at what you do man.

@astridbuica3360 4 жыл бұрын

Definitely one for relaxation and laughter, not for falling asleep. Love it!

@fcnth 4 жыл бұрын

I don't know man, those goldfish can be pretty devious.

@rahmreekoo86 4 жыл бұрын

The only thing that could have made this better would have been Guts and Caska sitting on the Jury.

@meredithmonroe9723 4 жыл бұрын

Jessica McNeir Oh that would be equal parts hysterical and adorable.

@harrold1934 4 жыл бұрын

Was there a Berserk reference I missed?

@idkman9444 4 жыл бұрын

Harrold yeah, I was listening for a reference the whole time but didn’t recognize anything

@rahmreekoo86 4 жыл бұрын

@@meredithmonroe9723 😂

@nicoledmal 3 жыл бұрын

@idk man @Harrold Those are the names of Jim's two cats.

@backwardglances 4 жыл бұрын

Dearest Jimothy, Are you legit not ticklish?!

@andiem4897 4 жыл бұрын

This question needs to be answered, Jim!

@SpookyStregaAL 4 жыл бұрын

the planet wants to know

@DruidBarbariansCampfire 4 жыл бұрын

backwardglances Not that I speak for Jim but he mentioned in another feather centred video that he is in fact not ticklish.

@backwardglances 4 жыл бұрын

The Druid Barbarian :) Thanks! Hope you are doing well.

@fighterflight 4 жыл бұрын

We need a jury trial to determine the verdict 😂

@andiem4897 4 жыл бұрын

These scripts HAVE GOT to be as fun to make as they are to watch!

@14THEPINKPANTHER 4 жыл бұрын

"Truth is that I live on the planet earth...and I am not ticklish." Bruh I laughed so hard. ♡ Now legit I thought he had a British/English accent irl because all videos I've watched preciously have had that. Crazy good. Thanks so much to all the effort and energy you put into these. They calm my anxiety and relax me to sleep. ♡

@fighterflight 4 жыл бұрын

“This leads me to the ultimate exhibit” Proceeds to disrobe 😉

@evajulia2121 2 жыл бұрын

You should make a few of these with Edgeworth from Ace Attorney

@magdalyyn7329 4 жыл бұрын

This is the Bureaucratic Dystopian guys origin story

@monochromedream-eatingbaku 4 жыл бұрын

Tfw you go from a lawyer to a bureaucratic fast-food worker

@RainbowManification 3 жыл бұрын

He got sacked after bungling this case

@fionamorris9634 4 жыл бұрын

I only have one question Jim, how the hell do you keep a straight face? Gufffawing is NOT conducive to sleep. Dude, this had me ROTFLMAO. And the mirror touch from the feather was a lovely surprise. Thank you for making my Friday start with a such a stellar performance. 😊 🤗❤️

@JodieMarieASMR 4 жыл бұрын

Your Mouth sounds in this are on point!

@SerenityBane 4 жыл бұрын

Jodie Marie ASMR Agreed

@ashlynboone_ 4 жыл бұрын

Omg I'm a first year law student and this is cracking me up so bad 😂😂😂😂

@DruidBarbariansCampfire 4 жыл бұрын

That was a journey! 😆 Thank you for bringing back the feather. 💚

@Fungus_Pilot 4 жыл бұрын

brushed the victim's hair???? actually stapled my victim to a wall? Awfully nice treatment for the victim I mean it sounds badass :3

@autumnwinters9366 4 жыл бұрын

We took lessons from Matt

@Fungus_Pilot 4 жыл бұрын

@@autumnwinters9366 oh hell yeah!

@sweetpea3134 4 жыл бұрын

As soon I read the title, I started giggling. I haven't stopped. 😂 On a serious note, I feel bad I never watched your content before quarantine. You are an absolute gem. 💕

@TamCatG Жыл бұрын

Brilliant. I thought you were trying to lead the evidence in all different directions, but the you tie it up nicely into a perfect bow. Your honor we find the defendant not guilty.

@Obi-Juan_Kenobi3110 4 жыл бұрын

4:59 man, look at him go!!!! Like honestly them moves man, WOW!!!!

@ljcarolina809 4 жыл бұрын

With an argument like this, We the members of the Jury find your Client the Goldfish, not guilty! Great Job Jim! 💪❤

@Angel-ym2xc 4 жыл бұрын

Jimmy. This is art. You are art. Thank you. Stay safe💙 Goodnight everyone 😙

@beeburkhart7562 4 жыл бұрын

After being in mock trial for like 8 years this is fantastic

@tammyv.asmrcattailsotherstorie 4 жыл бұрын

I love it when you do this kind of thing. You crack me up. Glad this lawyer was able to uphold the *scales* of justice. He is very sofishticated...must have gone to a great school. I don't mean to sound koi, but I would dolphinitely hire him. If this comment has too many bad puns just let minnow..... 😃😛

@punkrockpixie7820 4 жыл бұрын

LOVE the puns!!!

@AStrawberryHedgehog 4 жыл бұрын

Emma Kruis seconded

@justanotherredheadattheend955 4 жыл бұрын

“Do you understand what I’m saying?” Me, has been lost and distracted for several minutes, but don’t want to embarrass myself in front of the other jurors; *Nods seriously*

@thgirbwobniar 4 жыл бұрын

“There is a clairvoyance to that phrase, a salience that permeates the entire structure of our beautiful country” yo shaaaaaaaade This was a riot, thank you, absolutely loved the repeated pattern at the end, that 100% scratched my id

@happycat9577 4 жыл бұрын

Love how creative your role plays are. I've never seen lawyer asmr before! Incredibly relaxing and interesting at the same time. :)

@reevesavage 4 жыл бұрын

Jim: truth is in the heart Deee-lite: groove is in the heart

@YolomaASMR 4 жыл бұрын

As a Belgian, my dream job just changed to : work for the Stationary Conglomerate as a stapler expert 🤣

@Tobiume16 4 жыл бұрын

How do you not laugh at yourself during these? I was laughing the entire time. You make a brilliant lawyer.

@GeneSavage 4 жыл бұрын

This never crossed my mind for an ASMR rollplay but it is PERFECT and was both hysterical and tingle-generating. I need to hear more!!! Mistrial!!

@BlancaMari 4 жыл бұрын

I would never want this man as my lawyer or my asmrtist, I'd lose the case and be so engrossed in what he's saying that I'd never fall asleep. Man this is good though

@hilarybuffbo 4 жыл бұрын

I made it 3 minutes in and slept through a sever thunderstorm, thank you

@jennifermg489 4 жыл бұрын

You made my day Jim, this is so funny and relaxing at the same time. Thank you.

@jabarimiller877 Жыл бұрын

Can you make another one, I have been watching this repeatedly for months, so many tingles

@Quiver_N_Toilet 11 ай бұрын

so many things going on rn 1) the gun noises 😭 2) the rant about toast??! 3) the stapling to the wall, brushing their hair and tickling their face with a feather😭

@vanessaaubacher9910 4 жыл бұрын

I love this guy omg 😫😍 It's so nice that you follow back your followers on insta! I was so surprised :)

@MichieCuddlesASMR 4 жыл бұрын

How is this so relaxing??? 😍 much love (and cuddles) xx :)

@GiannaTschaninie 4 жыл бұрын

Awesome idea!!! I love it! And sooooo relaxing to listen to 💤😌

@katx5884 3 жыл бұрын

I can't get over how good your North American accent is!! Best I've heard from someone across the pond. :) Your videos are all so creative and tingly. Super glad I came across your channel! Cheers from Canada.

@HikiOmo 4 жыл бұрын

"Phoenix Wright ASMR"

@DebbieDoo217 4 жыл бұрын

This is hilarious. These types of role play videos along with the one on one type personal videos are my favorites. ☺😘😉

@magdalenamazourova7564 4 жыл бұрын

I fricking love these things So mutch !

@noelrobertson4968 4 жыл бұрын

I'm so stressed but at the same time, relaxed. Damn you Jim!

@evelynsommerville 4 жыл бұрын

The truth is this is amazing 😍

@minji03 4 жыл бұрын

Kinda felt like he was trying to sell us the stapler and the brush

@amysusanna214 4 жыл бұрын

I save your new videos to watch during wee hour feeding sessions with my daughter, & it makes me look forward to her waking me up at 4am. Thank you so much for your brilliant comedy & talent!

@LisaEHerzog 4 жыл бұрын

Omg Jim, you had me cracking up! Perfect accent! I’ll have to watch this multiple times to get all the gems you snuck in there! ☀️☀️☀️ also, Timothy McVeigh? Hahaha

@idlewildasmr3461 4 жыл бұрын

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this, but it was awesome & humorous. Thanks for the amusement & creativity, Jim! 😆👍

@bbqtoon 4 жыл бұрын

Such a funny video 😸 And I loved the brush sounds!

@shawnamackenzie2971 4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely amazing 😂

@theecosmetaverse 4 жыл бұрын

Your voice is medicine ❤ Greetings and stay safe ❤ PS. As a voice actress let me tell you...again...you are an amazing actor. -Carlota.

@gippywhite 3 жыл бұрын

This is in my rotation of videos to put me to sleep and keep me asleep. This is absolutely hilarious and ridiculous!!! Of the multitude of things that I love about this, the feather’s thud cracks me up. And how do YOU know Timothy McVeigh?!? I love this so much!!! Much love!!! 💙💙💙

@ketchupnpie 4 жыл бұрын

You always captivate me.

@Jose-es9xy 4 жыл бұрын

Better Call Jim, 50% off if you like the video!

@StarlingASMR 4 жыл бұрын

that hair in my face 😱😂😂😂😂 you're genius, Jim. 💜

@jackquentin1950 2 жыл бұрын

"Truth, is I live on planet earth. And I'm not ticklish." I lost it at this moment lmaaao. This is comedy gold

@francesca3386 4 жыл бұрын

a video for my birthday! Lovely :)

@gerrardjones28 2 жыл бұрын

The revelation at the end finished me off lol

@northertimelord 4 жыл бұрын

Okay, now that was epic, you have no idea what I was envisioning, I love a good mystery and this had all the mind bender thought processes going as to who could be the defendant, the ending got me......I'm still giggling! Another masterpiece! :D Staples........LOL!