This took a huge amount of guts to open up like this. I've suffered from depression for the last 6 or 7 years and I've always neglected to get any help, I always shielded as much as I could from people, people ask how I'm feeling and I'll always put on a facade and pretend to be positive when inside it kills me that I can't bring myself to tell them how I really feel. I know all to well what you are going through right now. The best advice I can give to you (and is also something I should tell myself more often), is to stay strong, endure the bad times as best you can and enjoy the good times. You have a lot of people who are there to support you. And this goes to anyone else who suffers from depression too; You are not alone.

About a year ago I had similar phase in my life. I had just moved in my solo-student-apartment few months earlier. Nowadays I know it was week - couple weeks of depression, but back then I wasn't too sure what it was, so I didn't really know how to react. I felt like if my parents and siblings were to die all of sudden, I would be totally alone, no-one in the world would really care about my well-being enough to listen to all that I had to say, if I were to have something to say. I was thinking about how I lived alone 500 km away from them, that if I were to have a heart-attack or similar, there wouldn't be nobody here to stay next to my bed in 3-4 hours. I'd be completely alone. I also had some suicidal thoughts, but I got past those pretty fast, those were the deepest moments. Also thought about succeeding in life, and how my procrastination would make me fail in every part of my life. I didn't call home to my parents and other family, didn't want to bother their lives with my problems. Also my MC-Skype group had just had a big fight, so nobody was talking there anymore. So I went only place where I post stuff about my life. I posted couple of messages on FB. Nobody commented, nobody liked, nobody PM'd. I felt so alone. It indeed was scary and shitty feeling! I wish I never have to feel that again. Nowadays I've got ppl around me that care about me and my well-being so if that would happen again, I know ppl would be there for me now. I wish that if something similar were to happen someone close to me, they wouldn't wait for things to get fine, they would open up, even a bit. Even that tiny hint could make me wanna listen to everything you have to say.

Recognising it, talking about it and looking into treating it is huge, so well done

You're not alone Starr, you have all of us. We love you very much. *hugs*

I think we all go through these feels at some point, I've been there like many others. You aren't alone

~{HUGS}~

Glad to hear you're starting to feel better (or at least found the cause of these feelings). Sometimes, as you said, one of the most frustrating things is not knowing why you're feeling that way, or what you can do to recover. Hopefully the trend you mentioned can continue, the happy feelings lasting longer and the sad feelings being shorter. I just wanted to show my support. I sometimes refer to the 'Drive' video you made when I'm feeling down, it really motivates me :) I hope you're feeling better soon, Starr

I'm sorry that to hear you've been going through some dark times star. Even through I've never been through depression. Well I mean I've be sad and miserable. But I wouldn't call it depression in any way. I'm glad that your being so open with us. You are such a amazing person. Don't ever forget that. Love you star

Got a lot of friends who work in Manchester, almost moved there actually for work! Glad to hear your doing better this week :)

Hugs

Star, it's good that you release those feelings, if you need someone to talk to, im here, i've been through depression and i understand that feeling of worthlessness and lonlyness, if you need to evacuate some of those feelings with someone, im here for ypu, we are here for you

Glad to hear that you seem to be getting better. A few months ago I had an experience with crushing anxiety and sadness. Not sure if it was depression but I was completely unmotivated, uneasy, for weeks on end. After a while I started going to bed early just so my day could be over sooner. I wasn't eating much, couldn't enjoy things I liked, had worries about school [I saw plenty of similarities between what I went through and what was discussed in the video]. Talking to someone definitely helps and I wish I had done so sooner. For anyone who seems to be experiencing a similar state, I urge you to find somebody to talk to. If anyone feels nervous or afraid of bringing up their problems with someone I would like to share what helped me gain the courage to do so. It's not much, but I took a day to be by myself and to get away from everything in my daily life. I found a nature park not terribly far from my house and decided to drive out there and spend some time. No school, no work, I wasn't stuck in my house. I didn't have anything with me that could remind me of any anxiety I had. Got myself I big ol' cinnamon-sugar pretzel. The goal was to try to calm down and relax. Obviously, these feelings had been haunting me for weeks and weeks, so it's not like they went away, but it was enough for me to get my head in order and convince myself that I needed to get some help. Don't be afraid of crying. Don't be afraid of completely opening up to someone. Your well-being is too important. You are too important. Starr, thanks for making this video, you are a very strong person.

I was pretty worried when I saw your tweets before and I'm so glad you are doing better and are on the up. ♥♥♥ Depression is a really tough topic to talk about for a lot of people but you talked about your feelings so well and it really touched my heart. I might take up your offer to talk sometime.

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and open with your struggle. You are far from alone! I just want to tell you that your feelings are valid. I'm not sure how to phrase this, but I hope you won't try to minimize your depression by comparing yourself to people who have it worse. Take it from me, that never makes anything better - it only makes you feel ashamed and sadder. I hope you continue to see improvement.

I don't really know what to say. Everything you said was on point. I have that horrible feeling every day, pretty much. A lot of it has to do with finding a job, because it always seems like an impossible task. I feel like I'm unable to do anything and so I don't even feel like I should try. I never really had that many friends to start with, even in my home town. And most of my online friends are all the way across the ocean where timezones don't always allow for a good conversation. Even living close to Justin doesn't seem to have helped because I only see him a little over 1 day a week. The other 6 days I spend alone. Not that I needed to make this about me, my thoughts just kinda spilled over >_< Anyway talking it out and telling someone about it is always the first step in the right direction. And I don't think I would worry about this lasting any longer. You come off as the kind of person who knows exactly how to make themselves happy. Everyone has a low point, whether it's because of a tragic event or if it's completely out of nowhere. I'm glad you're figuring it out though. I was kinda worried something terrible had happened because of all those tweets :( Okay I'm gonna end this wall of text because if I don't it'll keep getting longer e_e In any case me and Atomic and Mocha are all rooting for you

i got recommended this just now.

Thankfully I've never had depression but I have had an audio sensory attack with took me off guard. I did not like the feeling you get in an audio sensory attack.

Hopefully this is just a temporary thing for ya. As you said yourself, it'll always get better. Stay strong :)

I'd be happy to listen if you ever need to talk about anything that's weighing on you.

hug