I had to find out why I was depressed. I am now diagnosed as autistic and ADHD. I also had parents who neglected me and were ashamed of their 'weird' son. My mother in particular was abusive towards me and my father. All this caused a lifelong anxiety and depression and substance abuse. However now I understand. I feel I am turning the corner in my life.

Escaping reality by sleeping is a very real thing. The worst part of my life is when I was severely depressed and I would lay down listening to a video and have just the tinniest bit of relief knowing I’m about to fall asleep and then peace when I’m sleeping, only to open my eyes with nothing but terror knowing I’m alive again.

I recently got better from being on the lowest low. I had a plan, I had a date, I had the way out of this "miserable world". Then,May 12th 2022, my mom died in front of me, while we were homeless together living in a broke down car. Something about that woke me up and switched my brain. I now had a purpose and that was to make my mom proud. I want to live the BEST LIFE now.. for both of us!

The way Duncan describes depression is exactly what it feels like at least to me. I haven't reached the steps up I'm not sure I will but I hope so.

This is so accurate that it brought me to tears. I was a fit, head strong, educated, young man with a privileged upbringing, trying to finish a phd in mathematics and my whole life ahead of me, and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and die. So you stay in bed, you watch endless amounts of Netflix or scroll social media because it gives you distractions from the only thought going on in your head for days, weeks, and years at time, telling you to kill yourself to relieve the pain. That you dont have to deal with any problems if you just do it. But I can meditate, take deep breaths and I get a moment of courage to fight it. An opportunity to beat the ever living crap out of those negative thoughts with a big stick of positivity. I dont always take action on them, but I'm trying to improve everyday, and I'm trying to spread kindness.

Sending hugs to Duncan, he's one special human being who has so much more to give before his time is done.

This really hit me. In the back of my mind I know I've been heading to a deep depression. Iv been in denial because it's scary to admit to myself that it's back again but yea I can absolutely relate to this. I am always tired. I will lay in bed having to use the bathroom for hours and hours just because I don't have the will to get up. Some days are better than others but it's no joke. This was a great clip.

Depression is weird because you want help but can't seem to get it. It's like moving to a new apartment. Everyone knows that it's happening but nobody wants to be around when it is. Then they want to come to the housewarming party like you didn't have to move a couch by yourself.

God I love you Duncan. I’ve never heard anybody whose experienced depression describe depression so candidly. Absolutely brilliant.

I've had major bouts of depression on and off since highschool. Possibly much earlier but I'm not sure. The worst in recent memory was a period of about 3-12 months (possibly more) back in 2020-2021. The sadness crept up on me and slowly more and more negative thoughts occurred. Eventually it hits the point where it is as Duncan said, trying to escape reality by sleeping and staying in bed 24/7. Over the course of the last bout, I lost about 30lbs. I went two months without showering. My legs became restless and my heart became very weak. I would eat every other day and drink very little water. I felt like a ghost or a fly on the wall to society. No one knew I existed. I tried several times to induce some sort of heart attack by mere thought. Obviously it was unsuccessful. I was an empty shell. Completely dead inside. There were no feelings. So much time was lost and yet it all seems like a blur. I have recovered somewhat (no medication) and am trying to do things with my life. I still have problems in my head and can feel the dead sadness creeping up on me on the weekends. I need to keep myself busy and exercise also helps. I hope everyone here that has dealt or still dealing with depression finds the way to overcoming it.

Listening to Duncan talk about depression makes me want to cry. He’s one of the only people outside of my mom who’s depression feels like mine. It’s soothing in a weird way to know that I’m not alone. Encouragement to try to fix myself

"Depression is like the heavy weight force of gravity turned up against you" Very good explanation. 👍🔥😵👍🎯

I've suffered from depression my whole life finally now knowing what I do it's a lot easier to control it's like a bad voice in your head telling you to give up I usually yell back these days I'm not done yet stay strong fight the good fight

One of the absolute horrors of Depression is that it robs you of the very qualities you need to climb out of it. Prolonged meditation helps me but its different for everyone . Personally I feel numb and emotionally compressed but at the same time feel far too much its so utterly painful beyond words. This a great talk thank you. 04:02 he totally understands it

Duncan is so sincere it’s refreshing

Duncan has such a way with words whenever he explains almost anything. I recently had a huge breakthrough in my decade-long battle with depression but even now, I struggle with basic hygiene, cleaning up, cooking, eating right, exercising (still haven't gotten back to that however I am an active raver so that makes up for it in a way haha). How he describes the *wanting* so badly to do the things your brain and body doesn't feel like doing is on point. *Omg and the gravity thing - yes.

I survived 10 years of terrible depression. I wouldn't wish that darkness upon anybody. I've climbed out and have been rebuilding myself since. Stay strong people, you can make it out of that hell!

This conversation is so, so important to be having in such a visible forum, and of course without shame, guilt, or guidelines. So many people know so little about what true depression is like for a human being. The conversation should continue.

Duncan is the only person I have ever seen describe depression almost exactly how I feel. I always struggle at explaining this to other people so thank you Duncan for giving me the right words to express myself ❤️

wow. Duncan's description really hit home. I've been this way my whole life, tried everything, never gonna change.. it feels a little better to hear someone describe exactly what I feel, to know I'm not alone. BUT I will say: the only thing worse than being chronically, suicidally depressed is knowing that if you do make "the leap" no one will care, or possibly even notice. He said he had friends who've committed suicide, which is beyond tragic. But at least they had friends in their lives. Some of us will suffer with this alone, and die with this alone. And the world will not even notice

lex and duncan are awesome. love from uk!! and anyone going through a tough time. been there myself. keep your head up people!

I've struggled with depression for years and it affect everyone different, but you must fight those voices if not for yourself but for those around you because people do care despite what you may tell yourself. Taking that round out of the camber was the best decision on my life. It can get better just believe in yourself, you are worth it.

"Depression is rage turned inward." is the best thing I have found to describe it that makes sense to me. I think that learning to find healthy ways to 'own' anger and release it ouwardly instead of internalizing it or self-recriminating. Unfortunately it can be difficut when depression is coupled with grief or hurt from betrayal or dissapointment because it can mess up our 'world view' and part of the way out is to find a way to contextualize that the experience is just an experience but it is not the norm and we can and will heal if we put the effort to it. 'Baby steps' is probably the best goal to have, depressed or not.

This was the best description I've ever heard of what living with my clinical depression is like. Thank you Duncan.

Always loved DT’s philosophic words when describing reality. He personally nailed this disorder for me. Thanks for being brave enough to voice this as It is something which you keep secret and a baffling experience when disclosed to others.

I loved this conversation. Thank you guys

Duncans expierences with depression really hit home, so relatable just the feelings he described

This is the most eloquent description of what happens/what it feels like to have depression. Thanks.

Duncan nailed what depression is like. Not just his words but the way he talks about it, you know he’s been through darkness. I said it in other comments and ill say it again here. You know how a zombie is a body that is dead but alive? Depression is being alive but dead.

This is the best description of depression I have ever heard.

Powerful video! Thanks for being you Duncan, and expressing something very difficult in to words! It makes me feel not alone, that I'm not the only struggling with something so similar.

Duncan described depression better than anyone. Don’t wanna lay in bed but you can’t get out of bed. Don’t wanna shower or anything. Definitely not answering phone calls. The only thing from my personal experience is that therapy didnt help me. It was a doctor who doesn’t understand but thinks he does bc of his degrees and books. I wish Duncan would have elaborated more about how he got better. Ketamine and exercise I guess…

“Don’t take it too bad” -Towns Van Zandt Sums up lonesome broken heart.

I suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideations for about 8 years. The pain and suffering I went through was beyond human comprehension. An analogy I like to describe depression is that if our government could flip a switch and you’d suffer from depression any enemy we captured would immediately tell any secret.

Well said Duncan. So sincere and this will touch anyone that has experienced clinical depression. You put into words what we all went through or are going through. I like your thought about not listening to what your mind is telling you to do. When I was in the depths I had a 4-5 point list to try and achieve each day. 1. Get out of bed. 2. Have a shower. 3. Get some fresh air 4. Eat something nutritious. 5. (extra) do a body scan meditation (gets you out of your head). Some days I wouldn't hit 1. Other days I got to 4 or 5 until finally, as you say, the fog lifted and gravity started to reduce.

I had a profound experience with depression. I'd been fighting it for months and nothing was working. One day, as I could feel the helplessness bubbling, I was scrambling to find a book that I had just bought on healing and suddenly an internal voice spoke to me and said, "Stop." I knew exactly what it meant. It meant "stop fighting this." In that moment, I completely surrendered to the depression. It felt like I was free falling into a pit. Totally letting go. When I hit the bottom, I hit a wall of complete and utter BLISS. The depression in that moment lifted completely and has never been back. It felt like an act of God.

This is so perfect of a description.

This was particularly on point. Beautiful conversation Lex, thank you for this KZfaq channel.

People that have never been in severe depression, will never understand those that struggle with it. Like Duncan said about the wired text, the person who sent it has been struggling all morning to type it, or all night, or all week... I have struggled with severe depression for many years. Some days are better than others. This hit home, him talking about this. The struggle is real...

Duncan's description is fucking SPOT ON. Felt like he's telling my story practically. Everything down to not wanting to hear "just put on a smile" lol. WOW! Such insightful commentary as well.

Duncan nails it. Love this guy!

We all need a friend like Duncan

Loved the gravity analogy. PERFECT.

The thing is a depressive cry for help can sometimes sound like a whisper.

Also when you are depressed you don't want to act against your depression, so you have to make the logical decision of getting help and go through it in a logical way of thinking, because you will never feel like you want to fight for yourself, you have to do it regardless of what you feel.

He’s describing what people suffering from depression are experiencing very well. I was unable to explain it as accurately as this. It’s as if you have to experience it first hand to « get it ».

I'm currently mourning my best friends loss... I always blame myself for not being not being there when he expected us there. This really helps.

If there are no more other listeners, there is always The One who listens.

Duncan is helping so many people, I am so grateful for his words. That 'perfect' clip hit me like a brick in the face. 🙏

Been to therapy, there are few good therapists out there. God Almighty, may all suffering mental affliction find peace in the words of Jesus Christ.

As soon as I recognized the start of depressed thoughts, I learned to think more like Daffy Duck. I learned to go a little crazier, rather than feel sad. Sadness is bottomless and it will eventually kill you.

I think the worse part is that it's so lonely. I can't just tell anyone exactly how i feel except a therapist but that's not a friend.

the way i got out of my depression was doing psychedelic therapy, did alot of research on it beforehand but i would definitely recommend to anyone that feels comfortable coming psychedelics and is in a state of depression it rlly opened up my mind and confronted the things i chose to ignore and made me realise the root of my depression, been feeling soo much better since

Thank you

When you go through 6 different meds and multiple therapists it gets REALLY REALLY difficult to keep it together. I'm actually going to go do an Ibogaine and 5MEO DMT therapy treatment in October kinda my last hope but from everything I've seen or heard about it it's changing lives, especially in the military community. Like seriously saving lives. So I'm gonna give it a shot. It's a couple months away but I'm excited about it cause the results are astounding. Wish me luck

The world needs more Duncan.

This was a magical clip that is going to alert a lot of watchers to this seriously important subject. There is no instant way out of this one as you just pass the darkness to those you left behind. Except your feelings and breath correctly you need to work on the tension in your neck. It takes time and effort. Sugar and your diet are easier to sort out than you think and once you start doing so things will change. Maths and Music are a absolute must even if it's just a few scales and a couple of chords like wise a few minutes trying to learn about simple geometry and algebra. Use that fantastic mind that's running wild and you will take it.

Holy sh*t the lightbulb 💡 went off as I was listening(viewing) to this.. He knows his stuff.

Preach. He is spot on. ❤️

This is very Important to hear , it's exactly how I feel , it's a battle that you can't win , I have said I wish I could fight it face to face, but it's important to know that it always gets better, I am thinking about seeing someone for the first time in 35 years , to change my medicine, or get new medicine, just something to give me a boost to stop being so sluggish and weighd down by depression.

I have not experienced depression at the extent he described, but I know what he is talking about. I go through periods in my life when I am just bummed out. I guess my message it to try everything under the sun to change it. For example: anything that gave me more energy I saw as a way to use it toward beating depression. Anything that is going to keep my brain stimulated is good against my baseline. My baseline is pretty much mild to moderate depression. Things that give me energy: - Coffee - Sunlight - weirdly enough: cutting back on ejaculating - Exercise - Sauna I view life as a battle for quality. You have to fight for a quality life! Make it your mission. And wake up and do the right things every day!

It's impossible to know what's going on in this world and not have some depression. It's a sign of intelligence somehow.

Duncan just described word for word the way I have felt before. I’m ok now but it hit hard when he was talking. Do the opposite is great advice

There's also a lot of denial mixed in. I always felt like my problems were real, like I was just playing pretend with myself. i didn't realize how ill I was until I felt better.

For me, the worst part of depression is seeing happiness, but not being able to feeling it.

I’ve been laying in bed for 10 years. Barely surviving .

very well said

Fuck man. Lost my dad to suicide few months ago. Needed this. Thanks for sharing Duncan.

I love Duncan, because he is a good man.

There's no overcoming depression for me. Just enduring, coping, and reducing its impact. I treat it like any physical disorder / injury just find different ways to reduce it. Like he says if you have this disorder and you don't do anything about it the risk is it'll get worse.

Love both these guys ❤❤

Duncan describes it pretty damn well. it's so awkward and weird to feel those thoughts and understand it while you're going through it. It's kinda like giving yourself permission and justification yet knowing it's 100p wrong and will screw up everybody around you. Is it worth it? I never got that far yet.

thanks brother

Duncan is a treasure to humanity!

I jumped off of a 27 meter bridge. I'm obviously alive but, I am a paraplegic in a wheelchair currently with a sever spinal cord injury. If my head had hit the ground, I would not be typing this. Please call someone, text someone, have something to eat, have a shower , get some fresh air and try and put it off for as long as possible. You are here because you have things to accomplish. Take back control of your thoughts and tell the depression to Fk itself. You are stronger than that. Take care ❤

When you are in that place where there is no light at all even imaginable to ever have really existed and you just want to stop existing, so this misery ends as fast as possible - stay strong. The chances that you don't see the full picture right now are pretty high. Keep breathing further...

Thank you lex

Wish I had known about the links with diet and vitamins and minerals

He hit the nail on the head

I feel too old to find a therapist in a sense that I feel ashamed it took me a decade to look for professional help and I don't want my family to know I go to therapy, which adds another layer of shame.

The most real discussion about suicide and depression I've probably ever heard. Seems like even KZfaq deletes comments and videos trying to touch on the topic - strange amount of fear about something very possible in our complex system of human emotions

It is so true

i honestly don't know if i exercise when im feeling good or if i feel good because i exercise. i can't seem to exercise consistently over a long period of time though. i am healthy and eat modestly and healthily in general but with exercise there are periods with great motivation and drive and i feel excellent and usually longer periods where i can't even be bothered to to a bodyweight squat in the morning. it just swings forever like a pendulum and i have learned to live with it. regardless what "phase" i am in i say to myself "this won't last" and that's okay... my fear is how deep and dark the bad times can be. i go to work and fulfil my commitments but when left to myself there is just nothing. sit inside, want to do things and hate myself for not doing them. not going outside for an entire weekend of great weather then dragging myself to work on monday... i just have to tell myself it will pass, just hang on...

This is all so true.

Sad thing about depression is the fact that one who suffers depression really have to say to themself, "F*** it, I gotta do better for myself." It hurts but you can do it.

Perfecto

Never heard what I feel described so accurately. If you suffer from depression, as I do, I hope you find a way.

Ty Duncan!!!!!

Booze accompanied by deep creative activity has helped me alot

7:47 Duncan literally had two voices then

I love Duncan, man.

Yep. He described it pretty perfectly. For me, it happens in cycles, at least a couple times a year. Sometimes worse than others. Never gotten to the want to kill myself point, but I have stopped taking showers and still had to show up to a job, because the kids needed a place to live. It definitely wasn’t a secret that I was struggling and still no one asked me if I was ok. Interesting stuff.

To describe depression to someone that has never felt it and tells people with it to “just try exercising or meditation or positive thinking” Imagine you are running a marathon and carrying a 100 lb weight and there are people hitting your legs with sticks and it’s 100 degrees outside and you didn’t drink water that day. And you tell your friend that you want to just sit down for a sec cause you are in so much pain and they look at you and say. “Why don’t you just try a little harder, just work harder run a little faster that will help you feel better, you see one time I sat around all day and felt like crap and then I went for a jog and felt Better, I bet if you just run a little harder you’ll feel better” That’s what it feels like. Now imagine you run faster and it doesn’t work. And they say “well you didn’t run fast enough for long enough time” and in your mind you are like “ I can’t run faster I’m already running as fast as I can!!!” And then they say “anything is possible” and in that moment you feel hopeless and crushed and that not only are you in the worst pain imaginable but now somehow it’s your fault.

Wit suicidal ideation when you really need to be careful is when your brain tries to convince you that you're a burden on your loved ones. That's when it's serious, because it's easier to give in when you think your doing it for the benefit of others. Those were the few times I felt it click over from ideation to serious contemplation, was a scary moment each time it's happened to me.

Cardio helped me

Let's all get better, and stay on top. I think more of us need therapy than we realise ❤.

7:49 how did he make that sound? 😂

I've never heard anyone explain this so actually...

Thanks guys.

Today, in the rain, I hiked 5.5 miles then rode my bicycle five miles. I didn’t really want to but I did the opposite of what the depression was telling me to do.