Lighting Up & Burning Down | DeSantis Humiliated | George Santos: Congress Is Like “Mean Girls”
Рет қаралды 2,350,034
Күн бұрынIt’s marijuana’s big day, Elon Musk’s latest rocket blew up, Florida’s governor went to D.C. seeking endorsements and came away empty handed, and Rep. George Santos says he’s the Lindsay Lohan of Congress.
#Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
@atiredfloridian777 Жыл бұрын
"Ohhhhhhhh, Houston we have a metaphor for Twitter!" Never have truer words ever been spoken.
@wf6951 Жыл бұрын
That rocket has more fire and smoke coming from it than the bowl I'm smoking right now.
@michaelburns1096 Жыл бұрын
Twitter is so much better now
@gljames24 Жыл бұрын
@@michaelburns1096 In what deluded world?
@michaelburns1096 Жыл бұрын
@@gljames24 I don't need people to censor stuff for me. I'm educated and a big boy. Now, Twitter treats me like I count.
@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын
@@michaelburns1096 well, The Former Guy did say he loves people like you.
@Arnoldfan89 Жыл бұрын
"Are you a history book in Florida cause you just got burned?" Damn that's a well written joke.
@thealexfiles303 Жыл бұрын
I'll be using that one for sure.
@tammygarrett8427 Жыл бұрын
I agree it made me laugh
@cindycimetta3137 Жыл бұрын
AWESOME 😂
@JJ-yy8gu Жыл бұрын
Q😊
@imisseveryone2716 Жыл бұрын
NICE !
@guynorth3277 Жыл бұрын
"Your data, had no data" to a tune of five million, had me rolling.....Very funny monologue!
@nettns Жыл бұрын
"I love how stupid everything is" Stephen is truly a man of the people.
@ShannonJacobs0 Жыл бұрын
Are you human? Look at the bright line between comments and likes the actual humans and the robotic circle-jerking sock puppets. About 15% might be human. But the google likes to censor the humans. Can you believe the google is profiting from the fakes? Me neither.
@dan-fr9dn Жыл бұрын
HE'S A MAN OF LITTLE PEOPLE HE WAS ON JEFFERY EPSTEIN FLIGHT LOGS YOU KNOW WITH CHILDREN
@PADS62 Жыл бұрын
@@dan-fr9dn PROVE IT! Where are you getting that POS source From??
@pandamandimax Жыл бұрын
The unhinged caps-lock adds a particular veneer of legitimacy to his claim
@kingayy9267 Жыл бұрын
@dan You have a source for that wild claim or are we supposed to take your totally sane word for it?
@FreakinRicann Жыл бұрын
Happy 420 to all and to all a good high!
@Laura-hk8wn Жыл бұрын
High there.
@Opus313 Жыл бұрын
Sure hope Clarence is held accountable for his Quid Pro Crow!
@cathywolfe7993 Жыл бұрын
Very good!
@embreis2257 Жыл бұрын
can you see the Senate impeaching him? or maybe the chief justice talking him into handing in his resignation?
@ernesthill4017 Жыл бұрын
Has a Supreme Court Justice ever been fired? Because if not, this case calls out loudly for it
@brycecupp9660 Жыл бұрын
@@ernesthill4017 yes... Impeached
@Blasted2Oblivion Жыл бұрын
Bah dum tss
@victoriabaker4400 Жыл бұрын
I love how the band is into the comedy and enjoy the cuts over to see them. It's an uplift. p.s. Ba-na-na
@soulman1988 Жыл бұрын
"Are you a history book in Florida? Because you just got burned!!!" Hilarious, sad, brilliant.
@shirleyandrews1152 Жыл бұрын
I am so SICK of Repubs & especially, DeSantis, using the word WOKE. I don’t even know what he’s talking about😡😡😡😡
@lindaowens933 Жыл бұрын
Neither does he I bet he couldn't tell what it.mean either
@tomb3782 Жыл бұрын
Thats the word that made me turn in my Republican card. Every time I hear it, I Vomit a little.
@tin-n-tan Жыл бұрын
Haha. Yeah it's stupid. They use it to describe anything that hate.
@williamsutter8047 Жыл бұрын
Not commenting on the the bill, but he's right about Disney. How do you feel about corporate owned cities?
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
It's actually pretty fascinating, from a sociological perspective. A prime example of a principle known as What You See Is All There Is.
@DiustheZ Жыл бұрын
Regarding the "don't say gay" expansion to not talk about any 'orientation' through to grade 12, there was some people asking if that includes 'straight orientation' so they aren't allowed to talk about any type of relationship or simple husband/wife marriages.
@joshturner2155 Жыл бұрын
That's typically how you expose oppressive religious bullshit. It's been used to contest the bible in bullshit book bans. I would love to see it.
@maluse227 Жыл бұрын
technically no, but the lawmakers have made it very clear they don't see it as something that would be covered under the bill. Its just old-school homophobia same as all of their talking points about "groomers" that stuff has been around for decades to vilify gay people and make them seem like a threat.
@verenabecker2724 Жыл бұрын
I keep thinking if I was a teacher in that state with nothing to lose, I'd go for it. Everyone's moms/dads are now gender-neutral "parents or guardians" with neutral pronouns as not to imply any sexual or romantic orientation. I'd only use "spouse" instead of wife or husband, no matter who I'm talking to or about. Would drive parents nuts in short order.
@scruffy-thejanitor Жыл бұрын
It means banning any support for LGBTQI students, including extra curricular social clubs, GSAs, or any volunteering with the local queer communities. It means you can't go to any teacher, administrator, or counselor unless you're straight to talk about your identity. They want queer and trans kids to kill themselves and "disappear". I did K-12 in FL and I know how many children these bigots are trying to harm. Which is par for a GOP pushing to legalize child marriage everywhere.
@scruffy-thejanitor Жыл бұрын
@@verenabecker2724 Everyone has something to lose sadly, and they're making having "degenerative literature" in your classroom into a felony. Felons in Florida can't vote, despite the Florida residents voting to fix that (unconstitutional imo) law. The GOP ignored the Florida voters and imposed a poll tax on formerly imprisoned people who had already served their sentences, thus making it impossible for most to vote. DeSantis is also paying teachers thousands ($3,000 to be exact) to take state sanctioned "reeducation" courses that are purely revisionist history/lies to be spread to their students. The GOP hates anyone having access to education and knowledge of history, otherwise people will see that the same fascist playbook is being used to cripple America and take away the freedom of her residents and citizens.
@rm9338 Жыл бұрын
63 enjoying 4/20 and laughing my @ss off. Great show❤
@greatestsportslegends Жыл бұрын
Classic line # 32,101... "Hey, Ron! Are you a history book in Florida because you just got BURNED?!" Love it.
@laalaa99stl Жыл бұрын
"Ron, are you a history book in Florida because you just got burned!" 🔥
@lawrup Жыл бұрын
First
@williamsutter8047 Жыл бұрын
So how do you feel about corporate owned cities?
@aquaventus Жыл бұрын
@@williamsutter8047 thats like every single state in the usa
@williamsutter8047 Жыл бұрын
@@aquaventus Overarching Federal rules apply though. That's why the removal of Roe V. Wade was such a big deal.
@d.b.1176 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@kgames1748 Жыл бұрын
"Are you a history book in Florida cause you just got burned"... I'm using that everyday forever 🤣
@annm4833 Жыл бұрын
That was priceless! And it made me snort laugh..
@johnl6176 Жыл бұрын
@@annm4833 Yes, I now have to get a cloth to clean the bourbon off of my computer screen, dammit. I mean, this is good bourbon!
@kgames1748 Жыл бұрын
@@johnl6176 🤣
@MsHydroChiCaliLala Жыл бұрын
❤
@chrissiek8706 Жыл бұрын
@@johnl6176count it sterilized then 😅
@guibox3 Жыл бұрын
The irony is that the guy who proved Mike Lindell wrong is a Trump voter. Didn't know they could think for themselves! It is embarrassing that once again the GOP are putting the potential candidates out there that they are. They can seriously not do any better than Trump and Desantis?? For the love of God, have they no shame?? There are thousands of GOP politicians out there that could do a fraction of the job these two yo-yos are doing and still be better candidates.
@Sally4th_ Жыл бұрын
The laughter and applause in the press room for the rocket launch was music to my ears.
@SkammLykelee Жыл бұрын
They used to call the Republican party the GOP, short for, "Grand Old Party". Now it stands for, *Grifters On Parade".*
@donofon1014 Жыл бұрын
Sorry... amended to the Gynecologically Obsessed Party. as the slogan goes... " What's in Your Panties" ?
@melissaorellana6951 Жыл бұрын
I will repeat that!
@nomore6167 Жыл бұрын
"Now it stands for, Grifters On Parade". - Accurate, but I think "Guns Over People" is more poignant.
@TheUluxian Жыл бұрын
I use Gaslight; Obstruct; Project..
@adopequeenatyrantkingaboss8057 Жыл бұрын
Excellent! Mine is OGP for "Old Goat Party." Who's down with OGP? Hell na, not me!
@tuckgraph Жыл бұрын
Justice Alito is crafting a ruling based on an 1870's decision regarding animal husbandry.
@johnsonsandra8069 Жыл бұрын
Wouldn't surprise me
@jemiebridges3197 Жыл бұрын
Is that the one where blacks were worth less than farm animals and property? That's where make America great again was always going.
@rkms5606 Жыл бұрын
Property is property to some folks
@jimuicker4731 Жыл бұрын
He's trying to figure out how to write a decision saying that Federal Courts should decide the abortion issue instead of state legislators... without overturning the Dobbs decision he just wrote saying the opposite.
@CloudsGirl7 Жыл бұрын
Tells ya how much they respect women. Which is a whopping 0%. (And that's at BEST.)
@yellowwoodstraveler Жыл бұрын
There's almost always a point in your videos where I smash the like button before the end. When you say something so excellent I just can't wait. In this video it was the DeSantis/history book line. That was beautiful.
@supermod6168 Жыл бұрын
The rodents in NYC "have learned to walk upright and sign autographs" is probably one of the funniest late night jokes I've ever heard.
@kathyjarvis1745 Жыл бұрын
The Lindell challenge was kinda like “ read the transcript” Somebody finally did !😂
@tin-n-tan Жыл бұрын
How good is it. $5m. Lolzz what a legend.
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
To be fair, originally the programmer who's getting the money originally filed to receive his prize only 3 days after Lindell's request. But since we live in a hell-world where nothing is ever done when it should be, it took them this long to finally award it.
@hydefog9 Жыл бұрын
@@danielgehring7437 worth it imho!
@unknown5150variable Жыл бұрын
He did at the time, its just that "Justice" is slow and careful, maybe to maintain the ruse if being blind
@bjdefilippo447 Жыл бұрын
I loved that the only people he allowed to look at the files were Trump supporters.
@shermanculbertson6244 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Stephen for keeping us smiling and laughing in this Trump and MAGA filled insane world. You are truly a gem and a national treasure. God bless you and all your staff.
@mattevans-koch9353 Жыл бұрын
Well said. Thank you.
@mikekim1219 Жыл бұрын
Amen!
@blinkybit Жыл бұрын
Colbert is also a big part of the problem. Americans and their blind worship culture. His entire schtick is feeding the machine on the other side, and profits wildly from simply being the antithesis to the ridiculous right. And as any intelligent person knows, no binary framework can describe any phenomena with any useful articulation. He whips up audiences who blondy whoop and cheer tribally. And You all eat it up as a balanced discourse. You're as blind as those tribals idiots on the right.
@Master_Petes_Theater Жыл бұрын
@@user-wc1qi1lx7fStellar grammar! 😂
@Clemlove17 Жыл бұрын
@@user-wc1qi1lx7f 😂 isn't it funny when the absence of one little comma can take a lame attempt at insult and change it to a "thank you" to Stephen for all the worthwhile things he does. 😅
@iamjackscompletelackofsurp9606 Жыл бұрын
I hate corporations, but I hate desantis so much more! Go Disney!
@tommyt1971 Жыл бұрын
Hey Stephen, that crack about a history book in Florida was DEAD ON!! And thanks for the Lionel Mandrake joke too.
@cmcalgary Жыл бұрын
Things have been fine with legalization here in Canada. You should do it!
@v.b9139 Жыл бұрын
Same here in California!
@glenncordova4027 Жыл бұрын
Same here in New Mexico!
@janemlee6701 Жыл бұрын
Same here in Colorado
@didomilan1725 Жыл бұрын
Washington too, the evergreen state
@LoPhatKao Жыл бұрын
love legal weed up here🍁 have 5 stores within 10 minutes walk
@howardtibbsthethird Жыл бұрын
If Disney World goes to North Carolina, Florida will sink into the swamp that it is. No offense.
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
You have no idea how beautiful and pristine " Old Florida" was, and still there under the plastic shrinkwrap and pollution!
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
Disney probably already considered moving locations and renewing all their amusement offerings to reflect the new millenium.
@longzero Жыл бұрын
The history book joke, I loved that!
@VINZBROWN Жыл бұрын
Yoooooo ....Stephen and the joke writers of this show ROCK .... as usual!!❤
@johnmartin4764 Жыл бұрын
Woke means to wake up and get rid of people like DeSantis.
@veryberry39 Жыл бұрын
Hence why he and his cronies are so terrified of it!
@stephenschmall9029 Жыл бұрын
Bravo!!!! Well stated!
@kingjamos2422 Жыл бұрын
Naturally he would hate that. He is a dream demon, after all.
@amyreynolds3619 Жыл бұрын
That's exactly what I was thinking.
@Marijuanifornia Жыл бұрын
Woke means to wake up and watch the 1942 USDA video *Hemp for Victory* that legalized weed to fight against people like DeSantis. That means that barely anyone in the United States is actually "woke."
@Cancun771 Жыл бұрын
If Norm McDonald were still with us, he would remind viewers every single show that the Jan 6 ringleaders have suffered zero consequences. Pressure your representatives every day if you want the Jan 6 ringleaders to get punished. Otherwise it will _not_ be happening and *they will try again and succeed.*
@dianedenham5259 Жыл бұрын
Did you hear that the Zip Tie Guy and his mom were found guilty, but don't have to go back in for sentencing until after summer? 😕
@jodinsan Жыл бұрын
One of my representatives is Ron Johnson. So, uh... not sure that's going to work out for me too well.
@Blasted2Oblivion Жыл бұрын
In sorry. If he were still with us? I can't believe this is how I found out he died.
@virginiaf.5764 Жыл бұрын
Norm is missed so much.
@stephencoldbear Жыл бұрын
Norm McDonald? That guy from all the really bad sitcoms in the 90s? Haven't heard about him since I was in high school, but I remember he was in like 50 sitcoms but he couldn't stop smiling long enough to do any actual acting. ...which is fine. It's good to be happy and spread a smile around, but actors generally need to be able to express more than one emotion.
@kevinreid8946 Жыл бұрын
He should include BANANA in every Desantis joke it's like saying IT'S POTATO in his Russian jokes. Hilarious!
@MCham52 Жыл бұрын
"Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake". Love the Dr. Strangelove shout-out!!
@Hellkite-er5pg Жыл бұрын
Watching DeathSantis get bitch slapped by the Disney mouse brings a smile to my face.
@siam5579 Жыл бұрын
INR? It’ll be so funny if they move Disney. He would be soooo f#cked!! Think of all the money he would be out, not to mention the thousands of jobs there.
@ernesthill4017 Жыл бұрын
The Disney corporation has done some awful things, but in this case, I'm on their side
@soliniv1411 Жыл бұрын
You do not want to tango with the mouse
@ImahSillyGirl Жыл бұрын
I love that we can make Steamboat Willie beating up DeathSantis T-shirts without Disney even caring now.🎉😂
@kittehgo Жыл бұрын
It's so weird the way he is obsessed with Disney, a normal person would have taken the L and moved on. Hoping people would forget soon, but not this guy.
@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын
Supreme Court would be much quicker in any decisions regarding Viagra.
@VMan29397 Жыл бұрын
ultimately i think the money will talk and big pharma will push them to strike it down
@anitagutierrez5275 Жыл бұрын
Or penis pumps
@Styphon Жыл бұрын
Viagra is a much more dangerous drug, and is probably responsible for a bunch of unexpected pregnancies.
@catalintimofti1117 Жыл бұрын
Bro they old give them a break 😭
@zayahjohnson4632 Жыл бұрын
The joke writers did their thing tonight
@VINZBROWN Жыл бұрын
Wowww... I said the same.😂❤
@NewMessage Жыл бұрын
Guess the rocket didn't pay the 8 bucks.
@brian5o Жыл бұрын
Perfect comment!!! LOL. Like children fighting over their parents' affection. Ironically, I bet Elon Muskox has nannies for all of them.
@rosalie4797 Жыл бұрын
Another great monologue and great band backup! Thank You!🎉
@AthenaKeatingThomas Жыл бұрын
DeSatan wouldn't give two seconds of concern for anyone who lost a Disney job, or the consequences of that if Disney left Florida. Disney Insulted DeSatan. Disney Didn't Do What He Wants. That's all he cares about. He'll keep fighting even if it hurts all Floridians.
@CherylWood-dd7zm Жыл бұрын
is a fruit salad an orgy? best joke of the whole thing.
@toddklempan105 Жыл бұрын
“I love how stupid everything is”, catch phrase of the moment.
@VulsikDoSurilim Жыл бұрын
I know it's a different context, but this just reminded me of "It's funny how dumb you are.". 🎩 / \ _____ / 👁 \ _____ | / --------- \ | ( (
@moondancejackson5081 Жыл бұрын
You are on fire, Stephen! Thanks for making me laugh at the madness!
@Caroljwj Жыл бұрын
How wonderful. What a great idea. Thank you. I can't wait to start.
@BahumisodelKilasomuder-ci9nm Жыл бұрын
Hlo ma'am
@Jan-zv7ze Жыл бұрын
Thank God we have Stephen's voice of reason! Vote BLUE and keep our country GREAT, safe and sane.
@oshunbleu6511 Жыл бұрын
😂 "I love how stupid everything is " 😂
@LuciTerra666 Жыл бұрын
Since Florida will be completely under water within the next decade I'm sure Disney was already looking to get the hell out of Dodge anyway.
@jpdemer5 Жыл бұрын
They're hoping to transition ... to a beachfront resort.
@shanefarnellmusic Жыл бұрын
They all probably think climate change is fake news...so maybe not
@JusticeAlways Жыл бұрын
Hope they have Georgia on Their Mind..👍
@peggygallagher5802 Жыл бұрын
Is it just me, or does our Stephen look like he's havin' a reeeaally good time ?😂 ✌️💜🙏
@Dmanbradley Жыл бұрын
I live in North Carolina, and this is my first time hearing of this Disney bill. Also, we don't even have the infrastructure to handle a Beyonce concert. The one time she came, our largest highway was stop-and-go traffic for an entire day, and every single store in the surrounding 3 cities sold out of rain ponchos (it was an outdoor event).
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
Preparations can be made for every drawback that you mention.This is a high-level corporation that knows how to plan SO well, they outwitted a State Governor recently!
@helenamirian908 Жыл бұрын
My brother works at SpaceX and he's been helping set up that rocket 😂. He knows I'm afraid of heights and likes to send me selfies from the tower while he's been hanging up there doing maintenance on it.
@amietedeschi3203 Жыл бұрын
That is so cool! I have a former student who works there too. He’s part of the team that designed the spacesuits. 😊
@laineyturner3785 Жыл бұрын
These Supreme Court decisions should not be allowed release at these ridiculous hours. 11:59 on a Friday? That’s B.S!
@nomore6167 Жыл бұрын
"These Supreme Court decisions should not be allowed release at these ridiculous hours. 11:59 on a Friday? That’s B.S!" - Why? The timing does not alter the decision in any way or restrict who can access it. Can you give me one reason you think it's BS, other than "I don't like it"?
@Spiritof_76 Жыл бұрын
@@nomore6167 So it can go into the weekend and avoid the daily scheduled news cycle during week days, so the Supreme Court can be out of their offices and avoid protesters by retreating to their hidden homes or weekend hideaways. They're chickenshits to put it more succinctly.
@pamelacass9642 Жыл бұрын
Probably Ginni Thomas' idea.
@momain5483 Жыл бұрын
Whole heartedly agree. They did the same thing with Roe so we know how they're going to rule based on them delaying it alone. They're cowards who want to run and hide because they know they've fucked up but don't care too much because they're getting paid to do it. Despicable and corrupt.
@firstlast-gn5bo Жыл бұрын
I’d think it more sneaky shadow docket crap, who knows what else they’ll drop along with it.
@Daktangle Жыл бұрын
The Don't Say Gay shit is pretty much a copy of Thatcher's Section 28, which screwed over a generation of LGBTQIA+ kids.
@Narutonarutonaruto85 Жыл бұрын
Just the threat of Disney moving to another state is a blow to DeSantis. I'm sure a good chunk of his base realizes what would happen if the state's largest employer leaves.
@bsing2u Жыл бұрын
Incorporating state tax will make them all flip out
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@shiruba2004 Жыл бұрын
You might be overestimating the education level of his base.
@danielzhang1916 Жыл бұрын
Florida needs Disney not the other way, the state is done for if Disney really leaves
@mireillelebeau2513 Жыл бұрын
I love how Louis adds his touch to Stephen's monologue
@wwj837 Жыл бұрын
For those of us living in Florida political H3LL, please refer to the governor as Ron DeSatan!!!
@PADS62 Жыл бұрын
This comment should have 20mil likes! 👏👏👏 I've been calling him that since 2020. (I was born & raised in the outskirts of Miami 😊) My sis-in-law, who still lives in FLA, calls him Deathsantis. I Love Yours Waaay Better! 😂
@gyvren Жыл бұрын
4:26 VERY Ted Lasso look you’ve got there, Stephen. 😉👍
@stacyokuda7133 Жыл бұрын
Damn, Stephen and his writers are on fire today!
@wtf1185 Жыл бұрын
"Ron, are you a history book in Florida? Because you just got burned." "I love how stupid everything is." Two best quotes of the night. Has anybody ever heard of any other group besides Christians and Nazis who burn books? I don't know of any.
@crashbashify Жыл бұрын
A better question is: if you did, would you adjust your world view?
@wtf1185 Жыл бұрын
@@crashbashify What, are you Nuts?!? Banning and/or burning books is bad no matter who does it. Books are someone's thoughts on paper, why don't you just burn people instead. Oh wait, the Christians already did that in the Roman and Spanish inquisitions.
@eroraf8637 Жыл бұрын
Qin Shi Huang, China, 213 BC. Library of Congress, 1812. Anti-slavery books, US, 1859-60. Post-WWII criticism of Allies, Japan, 1945-1952. Literally dozens of other examples, some of more veracity than others; see Wikipedia’s “List of book-burning incidents” for a good starting place. While it is true that many book burnings were motivated by religious ideology, there is a huge difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture. I don’t condone the destruction of information that one personally disagrees with.
@wtf1185 Жыл бұрын
@@eroraf8637 Thank you for proving my broader point that people who burn books are authoritarians who are intolerant of any ideas that don't comport to their own ideology. And just what is the difference between the selective destruction of heretical works and the indiscriminate burning of an entire library or culture?
@melissawatkins7332 Жыл бұрын
Disney didn't just pop up the way it is today, why would Disney give up the state they MADE! NAW, They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again.
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
Yes, you're right that Disney probably wouldn't move just to avoid confrontation with a (very) temporary governor, but I have heard before that there are other reasons they might want to move, and have considered it in the past. Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get, so it's a hassle for like 95% of Americans to visit the place; and the land itself that it's built on is pretty terrible, basically swamp land that's been a constant thorn for both their existing and new building projects. So it would probably _make_ them a lot more money to move somewhere else, the fact that they could also do it to gain a little political clout would just be gravy.
@nomore6167 Жыл бұрын
"They are going to make sure Ronnie NEVER has so much as a dog catchers power again" - Disney has no say in that. The voters do, and never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
@nomore6167 Жыл бұрын
@@danielgehring7437 "Their location is a pretty big one, they're about as far from all of the major concentrations of population as they could get" - The location is also at significant risk of flooding in the future due to rising sea level.
@dacksonflux Жыл бұрын
I sincerely hope you are right
@dacksonflux Жыл бұрын
@@danielgehring7437 um no... They're in Orlando and not far from the international airport. They're only about an hour from Tampa and 30 minutes from the nearest major beach.
@nadarocker7605 Жыл бұрын
"History book in Florida" SENT me 😂😂😂
@chrispbacon955 10 ай бұрын
I'm afraid I won't make it till you come back. I loved your show and will miss you forever. Thank you for the laughter.
@kimberlycornelius7911 Жыл бұрын
Desantis hell bent on state taxes for its residents in Fla
@michaeldougherty6036 Жыл бұрын
My parents are in Florida. I'm sad to say that if DeSantis drives Disney out of Florida, they will cheer. And then they will blame Biden for the sudden need for state income tax.
@j.dragon651 Жыл бұрын
@@michaeldougherty6036 I just want you to know that all of we seniors are in that boat.
@kenotube3160 Жыл бұрын
If Disney leaves Florida, the next most popular tourist attraction would be having an old person scream at you to get off their lawn.
@davidfarmer1859 Жыл бұрын
I'd line up for that!
@squirrelsarepeopletoo6678 Жыл бұрын
That's one of the best comments ever !!!
@Jstef09 Жыл бұрын
Or realistically the beaches.. but yeah hey, old person I guess
@CloudsGirl7 Жыл бұрын
I'd've said DeSantis's residency. Beside which a vendor selling eggs, toilet paper, and tomatoes happens to have set up shop, by pure coincidence...
@chrissiek8706 Жыл бұрын
More like get out of their swamp
@mjm.9082 Жыл бұрын
HAHAHAHAHA! The absolute BEST talk show! Tells it like it is Stephen Colbert! ... on this network and at this time... 😁
@sherryberry2394 Жыл бұрын
I am a Floridian, born and raised here. I LuHuV ❤ the idea of moving Disney to NC! One, because DeSantis will be supremely hated by Floridians for this. Second, because this hateFULL GOP-dominated state doesn't deserve Disney! God, I hate this retiree-mecca State! 🤬 (BTW, I'm 63.)
@chimps4gimps Жыл бұрын
Elon, making up for the emissions saved by Tesla in 90seconds.
@yuki-sakurakawa Жыл бұрын
Don't rockets use hydrogen fuel, not gasoline or diesel 🤔
@abhinavbhatia_AI Жыл бұрын
This one uses liquid methane so that it can be refueled on Mars. But thankfully, raptor 2 engine is as efficient as physics allows.
@SeanKStephens Жыл бұрын
I would love to see Disney both move and retain complete ownership of their property, remove every single item of note, demolish every building, then leave it behind as just an huge empty lot that no one else can have or use leaving only a security force to keep out trespassers and surrounding areas devoid of the throngs of employees that moved with Disney to wherever it goes.
@ianmiller6040 Жыл бұрын
It's like a 43-mile long middle finger to the entire state of Florida! I love it.
@kittehgo Жыл бұрын
Isn't universal in florida as well?, I wonder how they would react if disney moved..
@jpdemer5 Жыл бұрын
Stock the lagoons with alligators - that'll cut down on the trespassing.
@The_Serpent_of_Eden Жыл бұрын
It won't happen, but I too love the idea of the gates simply locked and all that quiet, empty space just sitting there. Would be very poignant. (I also love thinking about all the tens of thousands of people who would be out of work.)
@j.dragon651 Жыл бұрын
Just move out, the vandals and squaters will take care of the rest.
@rustandoldlace Жыл бұрын
Best monologue in a while! 🤣😂🤣
@zorthecruel6558 Жыл бұрын
The "S.S. Not A Bribe" -- LMAO!
@stacy4701 Жыл бұрын
Love ur fresh haircut, #Steven Colbert!😍 And loved ur opening monolog!! 🥰
@ClayLoomis1958 Жыл бұрын
At least they had a sense of humor about the missile. They Tweeted that they had an "unscheduled, rapid disassembly" of the missile.
@brian5o Жыл бұрын
You have to give him credit, he was pretty efficient about it. 💥 🚀
@alex35agm Жыл бұрын
Must taking their descriptions from Putin.
@crashbashify Жыл бұрын
Nah, a clear self awareness and sense of humour doesn’t stick with the bandwagon of hate.
@chompachangas Жыл бұрын
Bahaha "Zeidman laid out his findings in a 15-page report. “I have proven that the data Lindell provides … unequivocally does not contain packet data of any kind and do not contain any information related to the November 2020 election,” he wrote."
@aggressiveattitudeera887 Жыл бұрын
DeSantis got smoked like a blunt!
@denisemcdougal6445 Жыл бұрын
True
@amyreynolds3619 Жыл бұрын
How apropos on 4/20 😂😅😊.
@TheWtfanime Жыл бұрын
Yes please move Disney World to another state, one that’s not as hot as the surface of the sun in summer.
@veryberry39 Жыл бұрын
Man, it's not even the heat, it's the humidity. I live down here, and every time you walk outside it's like someone dropping a wet dish rag over your body. Hot, yes, but miserably wet. There's nowhere for the sweat to evaporate to, so it just stays on your skin. 😭
@squirrelsarepeopletoo6678 Жыл бұрын
I don't care about the heat, there's just too damn many Floridians.
@freya8133 Жыл бұрын
@@veryberry39 It's the heat too. Dry heat to me is as unbearable as wet.
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
GEORGIA! SOUTH GEORGIA
@pamelabennett1492 Жыл бұрын
@@veryberry39 Learn how to regulate your inner core temperature and yes, sweat can evaporate into the air, if you wear the right clothing. Raised in Florida, I know these things.
@shinankoku2 Жыл бұрын
Mike just learned 5 million reasons why you should never believe your own BS. Or rather, given that it 4/20, why you should never get high on your own supply.
@tracydockray Жыл бұрын
That was a great one! Was Colbert at that Dragon Pop-Up Shop too? Hilarious.
@StrixyN Жыл бұрын
As one of the many, many billionaires out there that struggle to come up with a name for our yachts, let me just say, "Thank you Stephen Colbert. Thank you".
@bobbarbsokalski5005 Жыл бұрын
Should be Knot a Bribe
@JMcKey21 Жыл бұрын
"Are you a history book in Florida". Now that made me chuckle!
@fatimamirza2100 Жыл бұрын
Stephen Colbert, “I love it. I love how stupid everything is”! Feel you anger and pain Sir!!
@yeildo1492 Жыл бұрын
Group Captain Lionel Mandrake.... nicely done, Stephen. Very nicely done....
@zeroreyortsed3624 Жыл бұрын
Yep, apparently that study didn't catch the "Macgyver smokers" 😅. "Get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel.... Trust me bro, I've made bongs with less." 😂😂
@dianedenham5259 Жыл бұрын
I'm intrigued... go on... 😏
@ESL-O.G. Жыл бұрын
Hurry up!!!
@user-sq3cg6er2o Жыл бұрын
@@dianedenham5259 It is easy an avocado has a pit in the center, cut the avocado in half and remove the pit. Cut a strip out of the peel opposite the pit hole the size of the mouthpiece of the snorkel poke a hole through the pit hole to the snorkel opening with the ice pick. Pack the pit hole with weed and fire it up. It works best with an Un ripened fruit.
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
@@dianedenham5259 A pipe is simply a tube that's long enough so the smoke you get at the end is not hot anymore. You can make one out of anything you can bore through. I once knew a guy who was so desperate he built a 'reverse bong' by digging a U-shaped hole in the ground with a pocketknife.
@vietnamd0820 Жыл бұрын
I ❤ Half Baked movie references
@jessetorres8738 Жыл бұрын
For all of the hate people have towards the Big Pharma Industry, this is the 1 time I want them to say to our politicians to interfere with this ruling since if all it takes is 1 judge to stop the sale of pharmaceutical medications that will hurt their profits big time, & if it keeps the abortion pill on the market it's a win-win.
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
Especially because you have to keep in mind, a great many drugs can inhibit one's reproductive capabilities. If they don't word the ruling extremely carefully (and with this crew, you just kind of already know they won't), it would affect everything from anti-psychotics to OTC drugs designed to help with arthritis.
@CloudsGirl7 Жыл бұрын
I mean, if companies are people... 😏
@Mike500912 Жыл бұрын
It wasn't an explosion, it was a "rapid unscheduled disassembly" (corporate speak).
@susanfarley1332 Жыл бұрын
I live in hope of another "is potato" joke. They are the best.
@sheristewart2770 Жыл бұрын
Great episode tonight! Stephen was on FIRE! 😂
@shirleyandrews1152 Жыл бұрын
You’re missing a prop ! Mike always wears a cross necklace to prove he’s a Christian🤣😂🤣😂
@veryberry39 Жыл бұрын
His actions suggest he's the worst kind of human, but man, that necklace has me 100% sold on his humble Christianity. 😂
@waltonsimons12 Жыл бұрын
@@veryberry39 Mike Lindell is the only crack addict who was a better person BEFORE he kicked.
@stephencoldbear Жыл бұрын
Ah, yes, just like the cross necklace Ozzy Osbourne wore in Black Sabbath to prove he's a Christian.
@clarewillison9379 Жыл бұрын
That’s not a cross necklace, that’s just a very angry necklace. 😉
@firstlast-gn5bo Жыл бұрын
Yep. Outside the shirt. He’s such a ______. 😂😂
@justrosy5 Жыл бұрын
Wow. That particular explosion is *very* reminiscent of the Challenger explosion. So thankful tests are done unmanned and there are more of them done before manning these crafts.
@patcon314 Жыл бұрын
I loved the "Group Captain Lionel Mandrake" reference.
@Facetiously.Esoteric Жыл бұрын
I remembered yesterday that it was going to be 4/20, then I forgot today. Which I think is the most 420 thing ever...
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
I think I got ya beat, I once knew a pothead that refused to smoke on 420 because it had gotten too commercial.
@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын
The only disappointing thing about that rocket exploding is that Elon Musk was not on it.
@danielgehring7437 Жыл бұрын
I was sort of hoping it was gonna hit a Chinese spy balloon.
@WeAllLiveInTheTwilightZone Жыл бұрын
Even if he was, it still could be termed "unmanned"!!!!
@CloudsGirl7 Жыл бұрын
...and it still wouldn't count toward human casualties, so that's good. (Not unless we've suddenly counted aliens cosplaying as anthropomorphic naked mole rats as humans.)
@elenachristian9860 Жыл бұрын
Strapped to it?
@aliciaevans7966 Жыл бұрын
Whenever something big happens which would be comedic gold, this guy is on holidays...
@suzannefarrington4143 Жыл бұрын
You had me at “DeSantis Humiliated”…😉
@gamepapa1211 Жыл бұрын
DeSatan completely forgot that his fellow Republicans are all opportunists. If he's going to have beef with Mickey, nobody says North Carolina can't profit out of his idiocy.
@JohnDoe-et8th Жыл бұрын
His shtick only works on the uneducated morons and geriatric wealth hoarders in Florida. It doesn't travel well. With any luck, he'll drive Disney out and even Florida Man will turn on him.
@rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282 Жыл бұрын
Whoa!!!!
@user-uh5tb9er4o Жыл бұрын
i live in NC and don't want Disney here do you want it in your backyard?
@alalalala57 Жыл бұрын
@@user-uh5tb9er4o Hell yeah, I wanna go to Disneyland!
@SquishyProductions Жыл бұрын
@@user-uh5tb9er4o Do have ANY idea? *ANY IDEA AT ALL* How much money Disney brings to Florida?
@yourcollegedebt8384 Жыл бұрын
At this point, Desantis trying and failing to bully Disney is like that one SNL sketch where the cheerleader is trying to humiliate and bully the host of the episode playing a high school student in the gym, but keeps getting beat up with every attempt.
@wecandoit2488 Жыл бұрын
Stephen, you and your awesome team should create a book of anecdotes. I luv luv this one and its perfect timing. "Oh Damn Ron, Are you a history Book in Florida cause you just got Burned" 👏👏😂😂
@rufusreir1732 Жыл бұрын
WHERE is the part about GEORGE SANTOS, mentioned in the title ?????????????????????? huh
@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын
“Psst… Hey, Mike. I have proof that the 2020 election was stolen, and I also have a bridge to sell you.”
@pollytiks3885 Жыл бұрын
Not the bridge though - Arizona bought that.
@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын
@@pollytiks3885 I think they bought it 4 or 5 times, judging by the recounts.
@KealohaHarrison Жыл бұрын
Elon Musk is the perfect example of the old adage “just because someone’s rich doesn’t mean they make good business decisions”
@coffeeNTrees Жыл бұрын
all he ever did was code paypal
@jokrg Жыл бұрын
... and Mike Lindell.. lol.... and Trump... yatta, yatta...
@jschuler53 Жыл бұрын
Right on. "Because you have money you have a moral imperative to spend it." ~Frederick Neizsche
@waltonsimons12 Жыл бұрын
That's not actually an old adage. Because if it had been, we'd have stopped idolizing the rich a LONG time ago.
@davidwoods7408 Жыл бұрын
Nor does it make them a genius!
@savannahm.laurentian1286 Жыл бұрын
I wish Colbert would let us know when he's taking time off. In contast to Fallon, who is all over the place, Stephen has a home life, balance, and devotes much to his own and his family's well-being. Still wish CBSPara would post reruns for the millions without cable or basic television.
@KaikalaMoon Жыл бұрын
Disney NYC - Why settle for "One", when you can get MICKEY X Several Million!🤣😂😁 ...and they walk upright and sign autographs! Good monologue Stephen. Sure sent me on my day. 🧔♂(I kinda liked it too).
@jeremywarren7424 Жыл бұрын
Can't lie, Colbert is rocking the 'stache
@Thanos88888 Жыл бұрын
Disneyworld is my only reason to want to visit Florida. If Desantis does choose to chase Disney away, he'll lose my tourism dollars. I'm sure that I'm not alone in this sentiment.
@dacksonflux Жыл бұрын
You're not and while I hate tourists you do give us money.
@jpdemer5 Жыл бұрын
It's THE only reason to want to visit Florida.
@amyreynolds3619 Жыл бұрын
I've got Trumplican relatives in Florida. You're right. Disney World is the only reason why anyone would visit Florida.
@blackdemonknight Жыл бұрын
@@amyreynolds3619 Well there is also Miami but yeah Disney is a main big reason most people go to Florida
@annalieff-saxby568 Жыл бұрын
It's certainly the only reason I'd go to that godforsaken place, save for a brief pilgrimage to Slip F-18, Bahia Mar, Ft Lauderdale. (Those who know, know)
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