"You had one job! One job! Working arms! You could give me a thousand laser guns and all I would ask for are working arms!" I love that bit. Also: "Pollo, get the booze." "I can't. My arms don't work."

there's a joke in Family guy that seems right up your alley: "Now we just have to figure out where we are" "Or WHEN we are" "Ugh, that's such a douchebag timetraveler thing to say"

The dinosaur is named Snorts. Fitting since tons of cocaine must've been snorted in the making this comic.

This comic is basically that episode of Arthur, where DW makes stuff up, claims it as facts, and asks people the prove her wrong. The difference here is DW's in preschool and isn't causing any real harm, but Bill Jamas is a grown man who sold this comic and his bull spit for money and called it 'FACTSSSSSS'.

Linkara forgot the most famous example of animals killing other animals. Male lions will kill the cubs of a pride they take over. Hyenas kill each for shit and giggles all the time.

"Pollo get the booze!" "I cant! MY ARMS DONT WORK"

As a longtime Dinosaur fanatic, this comic hurts me, its stupid and indescribable irrationality is extraordinarily painful. The very thought that these may be the real beliefs of a former head of a major comic company is too horrifying to comprehend.

The point where they say "so Jurassic Park wasn't just a movie, it was a tribute." I nearly threw my smartphone down in disgust.

"What did you think we do, quack?" The thing that pisses me off about this and several other "jokes" in Marville, honestly, is that in better done stories they might have actually been funny.

duck bille dinosaurs did not appear until the LATE Cretaceous period. the same time as the Tyrannosaurus Rex. this comic series makes even elementary school students cry

RE: Fishfeet There wasn't an end goal in the development of feet. The fins with claws style footstubs? They helped fish crawl through mudbanks in extremely shallow water. More robust feet allowed them to crawl easier, and further from the water, until they could move about on land as amphibians. It was an advantage every step of the way.

This episode is an example of perfectly blending other artist work into your own. The inclusion of TFS Frieza's meltdown from stupidity works so well in context of the review. It's also a perfect example of how damn good TFS is when their material is still making me laugh my ass off despite a completely different context for their clips. Kudos all around.

They had to bring up the "Humans are the only ones" argument. LOL

I am imagining the whole reason that Mechakara start to hate "fleshling" is because Linkara couldn't figure out how to make functional arms. I somehow feel Pollo's anger when he said "You had ONE JOB! ONE JOB!"

It's official: Bill Jemas is NOT smarter than a 3rd Grader.

Also, sea otters can only have one pup at a time. They only rarely have twins and one usually dies because the sea otter mom can't carry or keep track of them both while traveling across the ocean on her back. She also does not make nests. Sorry, the convenient presence of two pups bugs me.

Ohhh oh god. My brain. Ouch. Also, DINOSAURS WERE WARM-BLOODED. They weren't even reptiles, hell they were a class of animal in and of themselves. Ancestors and distant cousins of proto-birds. They all had some form or another of feathers or quills. ALSO ALSO Pterosaurs were not related to Dinosaurs; they shared a common ancestor, but they diverged too far from them to be even considered Dinosaurs. That, and the Marine reptiles were that: marine reptiles!

"It'll take Thousands of generations to develop a warm blooded metabolism" Like the one birds have?

The more I find out about this comic, the more I understand why Zamasu wanted to eradicate all mortals.

I'm with you Linkara "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" is also my reaction to this comic. Ladies and gentlemen, if you ever wanted to know what it's like to lose brain cells, read Marville. It's like every other word that comes from these people gets dumber than the last.

To answer Linkara’s question about the Hamlet bit: they’re saying that evolution, a supposedly random force, assembling all the pieces of complex organisms like Humans is about as likely as a monkey randomly hitting keys on a typewriter producing HAMLET (I only know this because Michale Crichton, ironically, made a similar comparison in LOST WORLD, only Crichton was much clearer, and I can actually take his science seriously). So, congrats Bill Jeans, you said something vaguely intelligent sounding. Doesn’t change that the rest of the Comic is garbage! Seriously, I’m a Christian, and I find myself rooting for Mickey, because she at least isn’t terminally brain-damaged. To quote Linakara “Shut up!”

Fun fact - this episode angered me greatly the first time I saw it. Oh not because the episode was bad or anything. On the contrary, it's my favourite of the Marville reviews. It's because all the bullshit about dinosaurs, evolution and biology. Even a creationist would call this stupid.

Even before we had direct evidence of feathers on Velociraptor and Deinonychus, we could infer that they had them from what we knew of their relatives. Also, fish with limbs that don't go on land can still crawl on the bottom Of the water.

"Evolution isn't something that's coded into our DNA. Fish did not have humans inside of them, that they would eventually change into." Seems like we know now where TMNT: Out of the Shadows got their ideas from.

If only we knew then, just how long Pollo would work the "if I had working arms" angle

3:35 - 3:37 Just repeat to yourself, “it’s just a show, I should really just relax”

I just love the summarization at the end. No words except "Ahhhaaargghhhhh!"

I once had a guy tell me that Seals evolved when dogs came into the water and that dogs were more closely related to seals than wolves. That almost approaches Marville's idiocy levels concerning evolution.

I think my brain wants to hang itself after seeing this comic.

As someone with an interest in paleontology, I can sympathize with his frustration in this comic's depiction of dinosaurs, and his summary at the end.

26:44 Bill Jemas has apparently never seen a ferret in his life.

Linkara: Arhhhhhhhhh! (Meanwhile, in an underground lab) "Well we've got him on the run, Frank."

A molecule is a grouping of 2 or more atoms. They cannot die. Atoms are not destroyed by any biological function. Also the planet moves as does the universe so a time machine that moves through vast spans of time but not space will drop you in the middle of outer space... probably.

23:15 That joke always makes me chuckle. Always.

Don Bluth got more dinosaurs facts right than Bill Jemas

Also, dinosaurs *were* warm-blooded.

Okay... the angry faces and TFS Freiza make this episode for me. I'm sorry you had to suffer so much for my entertainment man...

The endless struggle of Pollo to get functioning arms amuses me.

"Fish did not have humans inside of them that they would eventually change into. THEY WERE FRIGGIN FISH!!!

One of this books biggest crimes, somehow making a river otter look hideous. Those are one of the cutest animals and they made it look naaty

We need an "Angry Science With Linkara" regular segment

Jack: I can't stop an asteroid. Me: Heh, some God YOU turned out to be. You can create the universe, yet you can't control everything around it? And if this is because you 'Can't do a damn thing without help', then who HELPED you create the universe? I call 'False God' on that one.

Dinosaurs are also currently believed to be warm-blooded. Here's some advice Bill Jemas; READ A FREAKING BOOK!

man, I was waiting for the “I’m running out of costumes!” bumper. Good times. So glad I decided to do a rewatch after dropping off for a few years. I can’t wait to catch up to the current day.

Here's a fun one I haven't seen in the comments yet: chordates, or animals with spines, predate the evolution of dinosaurs. Dinosaurs themselves were largely either diapsids or synapsids. Mammals are therapsids, which fall under the category of synapsids, and there are also extant diapsids, such as crocodiles, lizards, and modern birds. Of the therapsids, only mammals survived the Triassic-Jurassic extinction, and most non-therapsid synapsids died out in the Permian-Triassic extinction. However, duck-billed dinosaurs lived from the late Jurassic period to the early Cretaceous, meaning they outlasted both major extinctions listed above and appeared to have spines similar to plenty of things alive today. In other words, spines had *nothing* to do with why they went extinct. I'm starting to think that Bill Jemas was somehow beaten up and picked on by his school's science club and wrote this as revenge. After all, how else would you explain something whose tolerability is inversely proportional to the scientific knowledge of the reader?

Ugggh, bad science hurts so much! Evolution is a complicated subject. The important thing to remember is that the changes that occur are random. Ones that are harmful and don't suit the species' environment obviously get bred out because those with them don't live long enough to procreate or are seen as undesirable; ones that are helpful in the environment let those with them succeed, mate, and pass those traits on. But then, ones that are neither good or bad--maybe just useless, but not harmful--can be passed on or not by chance, so technically not all changes caused by evolution actually benefit the species in any real way. I think developing legs did help fish before leaving the ocean, though. It gave them fingers, which even underwater was beneficial! Then, when they got into situations where they needed to move from one body of water to another, the ones who already had legs had a lucky advantage. Final thought: I kinda get what the terrible Voyage episode was going for. There's no reason that humans couldn't evolve into some weird creature, really. As Linkara often says, evolution has no end goal; if our species found itself in an environment where being some sort of 'primitive' salamander was our best shot at survival, then it's the direction we'd be taken in. I think the writers stated once that they wanted to challenge the usual sci-fi idea of evolution always leading to big-headed psychic superhumans or whatever...but then also admitted that it didn't come out right and was a stupid episode for lots of reasons.

Gods I always hated things like this where people moralize about things that are obviously, and demonstrably wrong. Like "only humans go to war". Never seen two packs of dogs fighting over territory? What do you think that is? Never seen Deer fighting one another over the rights to breed? Heck I don't like it when people do it to humans either. Like the very common things like "Native Americans didn't have concepts of property and ownership" or "Native Americans all lived in harmony with nature and never did anything to harm it" or "Native Americans were peaceful and never went to war". I don't think humans are "Special" in terms of life. I mean they're not special in that somehow we'll have different instincts, different natural behaviors, etc. Different perhaps, due to different biochemistry and different life styles. Nor do I think that any group of people is morally inferior or morally superior. But people like this? They LOVE that concept. It is a door to peddle their woo and seem "Deep".

Another Abridged Freeza clip could've been used. "...How do you function??"

Stewie: We just have to find out where we are. Brian: Or when we are. Stewie: Ugh, that's such a douche time traveler thing to say

4:09 So Marville is the comic book equivalent of a Dementor? Makes a certain amount of sense really

As a biologist myself i had to take a couple brakes while watching this so I wouldn't blow a blood vessel from the rage I feel towards this comic.

13:51 I have another question to add to that: HOW DOES IT KNOW ENGLISH? THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WAS INVENTED BY HUMANS AND WOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED UNTIL WELL AFTER THE DINOSAURS WERE ALL WIPED OUT!

Why do I have this feeling Bill Jemas right now is championing the flat earth theory?

I become slightly happier seeing you go crazy. Is that normal?

I'm having a marathon with these rants (specially checking how unhinged he's getting with each issue) and DAMN FUNNY THINGY!! I'll try and get the books online and then laugh a lot about them, only to think they can't be that ridiculous as he paints them because I'm a hopeless optimist and because I always think things can be worse, like when I thought I was gonna hurl at the end of "Cupcakes" and... meeeeeeeeeehhhhhh...

So.....much...stupid........need....smart.....writing.......

Crudités are traditional French appetizers consisting of sliced or whole raw vegetables which are typically dipped in a vinaigrette or other dipping sauce.

urrrgh... this comic and its portrayal of science... First of all: These dinosaurs look rubbery and ugly as hell - no dinosaur of some dignity would have moved like that. Second: Even though it's a very old and (even by the 90's) widely accepted theory, the comic doesn't even mention the fact that dinosaurs are related to birds. Third: Though the position of the spine and the whole macrostructure of the thorax has SOME influence on the metabolism, it didn't prevent dinosaurs from being highly active and too some degree being warm-blooded. Fourth: The teeth of duckbills were NOT on the bill, they set in two parallel lines on the regular mandibles, behind fleshy cheeks. There are several easily accessible sources on dinosaurs (Horner, Bakker, or even David Norman), and Jemas couldn't be bothered to study any of them...

I just noticed something. At 26:06 you can see "Jack" sarcastically suggest that they "reach out and chop [the meteor] to pieces", which might be a call back to issue one where future! Ted Turner does just that. No, I can't believe I just typed that last sentence completely seriously either.

Al being Captain Frownypants over the K-T extinction is hilarious considering how far ahead they moved through time. They skipped over the four other mass extinctions that took place on Earth. That includes the two largest: Permian Extinction, which wiped out 90% of marine species and 70% of land species in an extinction event literally called the "Great Dying," And the Ordovician-Silurian transition, a series of events which killed off many families of marine species. So, if they can see outside the time machine, why didn't they get all whiny and existential over those horrible events? For crying out loud, the Jurassic Period BEGAN with a massive die-off of several classes of reptiles, amphibians, and a large percentage of life in the oceans. Did they just never say anything to Jack about those? Or does their compassion only extend to those poor molecules and dinosaurs? Yeah, screw those placoderms, trilobites, and synapsids. What did they ever do for us? Also, PTEROSAURS ARE NOT DINOSAURS. They're both groups of reptiles, yes, but one group can fly and the other can't. It's not that hard to understand. It's like confusing a hamster with a vampire bat.

re: the whole "humans are the only animals that kill other humans" thing Among every carnivorous, or even omnivorous, animal on the planet, cannibalism is the norm, rather than the exception. Any carnivore worth its salt will absolutely kill and eat another member of its own kind if there are no easier food options available. Hell, there's even a species of dinosaur called Majungasaurus with fossilized evidence of cannibalistic behavior (Majungasaurus tooth marks found on Majungasaurus bones). Furthermore, large herbivores like rhinos and water buffalo are demonstrably some of the most violent and aggressive creatures around. They would have absolutely no qualms about killing another of their species in a mating dispute, a territorial dispute, or even just because they're having a bad day. While probably not to the same level as some of the horned or plated dinosaurs, hadrosaurs would unquestionably fit in with this general behavior pattern. EDIT: @24:22 From what I've been able to figure out from basic research, the evolution of limbs was an adaptation to living in freshwater. The ocean is a fairly open place where you don't have to worry about much in the way of obstacles. You can afford to be long and smooth like most fish. But, when you move into a freshwater stream, you suddenly have to contend with rocks, fallen trees, or any other junk that happens to get swept into your way. Having bony limbs that are stronger and more flexible than a fish's fins allows you to either move that debris out of your way or to clamber past it so you can continue swimming.

"Gravity... on the moon" Linkara The moon has gravity

Jurassic Park is not the greatest movie in the world, no, it was just a tribute. Couldn't remember the greatest movie in the world, no, NO, it was a tribute.

Good lord, this is Jack Chick or Creationist Museum levels of sophistry in this comic.

i think that you meant that power rangers has *regular* gravity on the moon.

Poor Dromeosaurus and Saurornitholestes,. Since they're not at as cool-sounding as Velociraptor and have never had films featuring them, they're pretty much ignored.

"Pollo, get the booze." "I can't. My arms don't work." 🤣 gets me every time

Should we DO something?

13:30 My reaction to the sudden dinosaur? "Oh god what is that. Whatever it is, I shall call it a platybronchasaur. Or stupid. Stupid works too."

Check yourself, Linkara, those Voyager lizard babies are our future. And adorable.

26:04 ... WELL, if I am gonna give ONE, count em, ONE defense for Marville. It actually makes a little bit of sense why Al wouldn’t know about the dinosaurs being wiped out by an asteroid considering that he comes from the stupidest future ever, and I doubt the AOL run 5002 ad would actually bother teaching him about that. I mean, Al said that he studied comic books in college, so take the future’s education with a grain of salt.

If human only used 10% of their brains at once then they would be in a coma if they used 100% of there brain at one then dah dah dah they are having a seizure. The brain is like an electrical outlet it can't use all of itself without blowing a fuse

Maybe Bill Jemas got his ideas about evolution from Pokemon.

Michbucha?! I listen to Louis on a daily basis, and know his Hebrew pronunciation can use some work (still better than most Americans), but it took me a few times to get what Bill was referring to here. The word it written wrong and in slang, as if to to make it more confusing. The word referred here is actually "Mishpacha", which, as Louis said, means family in Hebrew. "Mishpucha" is in Hebrew slang. It's kinda like referring to one's family as "the fam". "Mishbucha" is a word made up by a man who knows nothing about my language and thinks using it makes him sound mystical or worse, tribal.

I remember watching this episode when it was new, almost 9 years ago. It's weird how much time has passed since then. I've been suffering from mental health problems since July 18 2012, and this was in the rough early days. _God,_ this brings back memories.

And you wanna know the most hilarious part about the incorrect research? It was in full effect BACK IN ISSUE ONE. Ted Turner was _not_ a fan of AOL. Because Ted Turner didn't buy AOL, _AOL bought him._ And when the dotcom bubble burst Turner lost $7 billion almsot overnight (he's worth about $2 billion today according to wikipedia). So even the very premise of the "parody" comic didn't make any sense

I swear, the evolution cycle of Ponyo is more believable.

You probably got the explanations by now but just in case you see this and are still curious, on fish limbs and tetrapods colonizing land: Fleshy fins were already a thing and were just another kind of fin. Intertidal zones encouraged proto-amphibians to adopt amphibian-like lifestyles (much like modern lungfish and mudskippers). Animals adapted like that came to live in a swampy zone, including Tiktaalik, an animal much like our ancestor, which lived a little like a croc using its stubby limbs to push itself around in shallow waters and mud munching on fish and arthropods (which had already taken to land). Eventually tetrapods diversified and the rest is history.

19:14 And the 90's enviromental animated movies. You can't forget about the 90's enviromental animated movies. 31:26 -- 31:36 Honestly, I was expecting a Combine Harvester breakdown at this point. Had to wait a couple more episodes for it, tough.

Polllo: A-R-M-S!!! You could give me a thousand laser guns and all I would want is functioning arms!!! Just give me some arms and I'll be happy!!! I'll shut up about wanting arms!!! Well Lewis, looks like you'll have to take Pollo to an "ARMS" dealer LOL!!!

Feet didn't just suddenly appear on fish!! They started off as fins that were strong enough to push the fish back into the water if they got washed ashore.

As someone who loved paleontology growing up (and still, albeit to a lesser degree, does), these idiots make me want to flip a building. Seriously, somewhere out there, Sir Richard Owen is furious and he doesn't know why.

Ya know Wikipedia was a thing in 02. As were ya know libraries and books. All of these are things I’m convinced the creator of this comic doesn’t know exist.

An interesting theory positing that SPINE STRUCTURE is essentially why the dinosaurs died off and the mammals didn't, and absolutely nothing about how most mammals from the same time periods as dinosaurs were small, so when the meteor came and wrecked the planet's ecosystems, there was still enough for the mammals to survive on but not enough for the dinosaurs.

I think that the author just read part of the explanation for the differences in human skeletons and animal skeletons are different and thought that it applied to all evolution.

The quack joke is ruined because Snorts doesn't know he's a duckbill.

The lack of working arms wont stop you from making coffee later

Marville is the best comic to ever come out because of the genius of Bill Jemas, smile convincingly and nod. And if anyone comes looking for me, I'm in make up some location so they don't know where you are. Edit: And regarding the whole "Animals don't kill each other but humans do" thing... From what I've heard, chimp tribes have been known to go to war. Don't believe me? Look up the Gombe Chimpanzee War.

The title card missed out an important opportunity to have the duckbill dinosaur wear a kippah and/or a tallit.

Marville needs to have a warning label on it like the field guide in the Spiderwick Chronicles.

None of you probably care, but "crudité" is pronounced "Krew-dee-tay". It's French. I'm French, so I know this. Bye now.

When the duckbill said they can't be warm blooded because of their spine, I think I had a brain hemorrhage from all the stupid

As a student currently studying the age of dinosaurs, I can tell this one’s going to hurt...a lot. Yup! That hurt like a sucker punch to my brain and to the paleontology department of UT.

I'm so glad that I'm not on either extreme of these arguments. I still can't believe that creationists overlook that events in chapter one of Genesis overlap and therefore can't take place in literal days. I mean who would be stupid enough to write in an inaccuracy like that in the first chapter of a holy book.

There are more holes in this writing than there are in Tony Montana at the end of Scarface.

23:39 Nope, that extra 90% is filled up with curds and whey! (spot the reference)

I would have assumed Bill Jemas remembered that bit in Cosmos where there's the line animation showing the history of life on Earth and he thinks *that's* how evolution works. But once again, I think that's giving him way too much credit.

I actually facepalmed when Jack mentioned the 10% brain power theory.

Anyone else watching this after his 2018 top 15 favorite episodes video?

"Crudites" is a french word that means veggies served uncooked as appetizers and side dishes, usually with dip, like celeri and carrot sticks.