What If My Child Just Doesn't Care About Consequences - kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e9tpkqiJxrzef6M.html

My eyes just filled with tears when I read this video title. I feel like I am always so angry at my 4-year-old and I hate that side of me. So I am grateful for your advice. Thank you for thinking of us "grumpy" moms 💛

"I'm not keeping a clean house, I'm raising a child...". Wow, that's liberation for me there. Thank you, Doc!

Thank you doc. All of us moms need this. I hate myself sometimes, I feels like an evil mom and I don't deserve a child.

“Cleaning and scrubbing can wait for tomorrow, / For babies grow up so we learn to our sorrow. / So quiet down, cobwebs, and dust, go to sleep! / I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.” That’s the poem. There is a melody for it, too.

This is beyond powerful. I yelled at my kids today and I felt so lost, sad and regretful before I watched this video. After I apologized to my kids, prayed for God to forgive me and help steer me in the right direction, I found this video. Thank you!!!!

Scrolling through the messages here, I've realised I'm not alone in what I feel. I want to extend my love to all mothers and fathers out there trying to make things work!

I'm crying real tears. As a young mom, and now grown teen mom, I never anticipated how discouraging motherhood can get, and it's nice to see this in such an empowering perspective. Thank you

I cried at "things are exactly as they should be." Thank you so much for this reminder! I have 3 little boys with autism, and I have been so anxious and afraid that nothing was as it should be. The idea that something was wrong and needed to be fixed has been the root of all my anger and stress. My children are happy and healthy. They see and react to the world differently then neurotypical children. They meet milestones at their own pace. I don't need to panic over that or try to rush them.. They are each exactly who they should be. Each a treasure. And the work to raise them is unending just as it is supposed to be! I am a mom, and so very blessed to carry that title 🥰.

Im so glad im not the only mom struggling with anger ❤LOVE this advice❤

I'm sitting here, nodding, as if you're actually speaking to me directly....

i feel guilty about being grumpy mom. It makes me sad. But this video help me how to manage my anger.

Thank you for this. I’m watching it while hiding from my kids because I’m too hoarse from yelling at them. This video just changed my life.

I just want to say that every mom commenting here is a great mom, thank you for sharing this experience and for trying to better yourself. You are so inspiring. I've always felt ashamed to talk about this, feeling like all the other moms are doing a much better job. I have been constantly reminding myself to accept the fact that it's okay if things are not how I want. It's a rocky road but we will manage.

I cried at #5. I have a 16, 7, 5 yr old and 7 months old. I just want to enjoy them. I feel like so much gets in the way of that, it makes me sad. Chores, home and yard maintenance, kids fighting, extended family obligations and more.

Thank you so much .. I'm crying right now , because I'm mom who lost control of her anger and this video is like a cure for my soul 💕.. mom from Libya

I'm a 16-year-old boy but I feel like some of the things in this video are really insightful on human relationships in general. Thanks

I want to thank you for this much needed video. I have a 7 yr old son and a 4 yr old daughter. I love them dearly! I’ve wanted to be a mother for as far back as I can remember. I had an angry mother and I swore I would never be that to my children, but here I am.... An angry mother just like her. I’ve hated myself for this. A few weeks ago, in prayer, I promised God that this was the year I would stop screaming at my children. That I would step outside if what I know, and find the tools to help me in this endeavor. I love my children more than anything, and now they will see that in the way I deal with them. Thank you for helping me take the first steps.

Reading through the comments and learning that some of you cried watching this and wish you could be a better mom. I completely understand where you’re coming from. Please don’t worry. Just the fact that you are looking up things on how to be a better mom for your child already says that you are a great mom, and you are trying. ❤️

I'm a 2 year old girl's mother from China. Recently desperate from China's lockdown and unemployment and experiencing the terrible 2 with my kid at home every single day. Cried while watching this video, Thank you so much. Really learned and inspired. I might still won't be a perfect or patient Mom, but I will try and learn and I believe I will be better after watching your videos. Appreicate ! !

Hey Dr!! I was an angry mum. And it's not like I'm never angry anymore, I still get angry but it doesn't define my life or my relationships. I was also suffering "depression" and was even suicidal. One of the things that really changed my life was sleeping early. Instead of staying up in my phone after the kids sleep, I'd get kids to bed at 730 and be in bed by 830. For me, this completely cured my "depression" which I really think was just sleep deprivation and I'm really wondering if this is a common misdiagnosis. I became a better wife and mother just by sleeping. I think my husband has ptsd from how I used to be lol. So if this is an issue for mum's they need to sort it out. It sorts out a big chunk of the anger issue. Another thing that changed me was realising that I could lose my kids at any time. I think a lot of our anger is exactly what you said about "things are what they should be". You aren't meant to be holidaying, sipping tea and floating alone in the pool. You're meant to be in the kiddy pool watching your kids having an amazing time for a few years till they grow up a bit. So I chose to enjoy all the blessings that I was overlooking because I was distracted by what I thought I wanted. Another thing is I hear a lot of my friends say they wasted their life by having their kids and they wished they had a career. I view my motherhood as my career. I view my home as my workplace. When you take it seriously and you get what you need done, you feel accomplished. Now I expect my house to get messy. I have a day care and tutoring centre and restaurant happening here! But once the kids are in bed and they've been nourished with everything they need, its closing time. I can do my end of day cleaning and really feel so fulfilled. I now enjoy all the things I used to hate. And it's actually all that matters to me I have no interest in any of the things I used to long for. Getting enough sleep and changing perspective is so important. I totally agree with you on not getting worked up when kids destroy things. I'm better at that but still not quite there. I have a destructive 3 year old that always finds a way to make chaos. And he always goes after my brand new things. Really looking forward to a year from now when he's 4. They tend to calm down by then 😂

For moms with little ones... and children of any age. Some words that helped me when my daughter was going through terrible twos. I was just take some breaths and tell myself "this too shall pass". The frustration can be intense sometimes...but an eternal perspective can give so much peace. Hope this helps someone.

This brought tears to my eyes. MY husband is psychologically incapacitated showing narcissistic signs. Im a single mom now

🤭😢😭🤭 thank you Doctor, I HAVE to STOP complaining, and start enjoying my ride...😭😔😭🤭 ...babies don’t keep😭😭😭😭😭

I was in a bathroom stall the other day at the mall and I heard a mom being so impatient with her son because he was talking so much and I suppose, dragging, and she sounded SO annoyed at his dragging and talking. And it broke my heart because she has no idea how lucky she is to have a little one that TALKS. My 4 year old doesn't and how I wish she did. I was also sad because I heard myself in her, too. The realization that I needed to be kinder to my children fell on my heart like Atlas struggled to hold up the sky. And I was so hurt because despite how I was feeling, my kids love me right now, unconditionally, and I want that to go on as they get older because home is always going to be here for them. Mommies and daddies, good luck. I'm rooting for you too.

I’m over here crying. 😭 I’m a mum of 2 boys and one in the oven. Your Content is wonderful. Just found you Today. I’m videos 3 in. Needed this today.

As a single dad, I have to learn feminine traits along with bettering my masculine traits to raise my child. It's helped me become more empathetic and patient. This was really helpful, thanks.

I cried many times watching this video . Feeling guilty feeling sad and feel the hope and encouragement to be a better me for my daughters. It's not an easy job being a parent but it takes awareness and willingness to mold a better people for the current and next generation. Thank you or this❤️

I am sitting here crying my eyes out!! There is so much expectation on us moms, we need to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, etc. We just need to work so much harder and it never stops. Thank you for that, just thank you. My husband is an awesome man who loves his team and truly appreciate and values us so much but to hear it come from someone other than him that is not another woman is amazing. Thank you

I appreciate this session. Opened my eyes. I remember asking my son 5yrs old why do you do these stuff repeatedly. He's so much smarter than me.. lol.. he said "mom", I'm a kid"

I think this video will help many parents and grandparents. Such wisdom. My babies are 37 and 33 now. Some of the days went by sooo slowly, but the years flew by. My boys are men now- good, kind men. Their lives aren't perfect, but they have good lives. That's all I truly ever wanted for them, so I'm happy.

I listened intently just soaking in these truths and then literally sobbed when you got to number 1. I can’t thank you enough. You’ve no idea how badly I needed to watch this video today. Thank you thank you thank you. -Mom of 2 toddlers (soon to be 3!)

“Babies don’t keep.. and neither do teenagers” - this part had me in tears thinking of my own.. thank you for sharing your knowledge it is really an eye opener!

I'm not keeping a clean house, I'm raising a child. Wow. Things are exactly as they should be. Thank you for your wisdom. You are making such diffrence.

I'm crying after listening and watching to this entire video. I've recently become a single mom after being a young (early 20s) mother and being low income. I tried my best but feel I made so many mistakes, especially because I was being treated so badly/abused by the father. Now my kids are older and I have learned a lot but I need to relearn more in order for my kids to have a better life. A lot of times the guilt takes over-- really they are the most important thing in my life ❤

I needed this! This lockdown has turned our home upside down and my 4 year old has turned so angry ! It’s so hard not to lose my mind! Crying every night feeling like a failure! Thankyou for this! It’s nice to know I’m not alone !

Thank you Doctor Paul for helping us lonely & lost moms. God bless you 🙏

I am folding laundry as my kids are napping and I am just thinking to myself how can I apply this to my everyday Actions !! And it brings me joy and tears to know that I will be a greater mom after this video thank you God bless 🙏♥️

I needed to hear this. I've been so hard on myself and my toddler lately. Things are exactly as they should be.

"we're not raising apples,we're raising boys"those words made me cry😭i feel guilt with my only son😭

'They are already that person' I love you for saying this

I don’t even have kids and I’m crying. I found these videos to learn how I should interact with my young siblings. I love this channel!!!

Appreciated your awesome talk. Moms need that affirmation. Emotional labor is so draining. During your talk it tripped a memory of the anger I felt taking care of my 97 year old mother, and had to apologize to her at times. And the guilt I felt at being angry. And the lack of anyone affirming the difficult job I was doing. There should be, if there isn't, a national caregivers day. I am watching this video because as a "great aunt" I want the emotional health of my niece and her two daughters. This lecture reminds me to encourage her greatly which I will now start doing...

I adore your videos. Growing up in a highly aggressive family, and then entering an awful and violent relationship, I have always been around anger. Unfortunately now I am also an angry person/ parent when tested. These videos are so calming and informative in a simple way- like a friendly reminder to stay on the right path ❤

Actually today I felt so much anger towards my 3yr Old. Parenting isn't easy, we need grace

I've listened to this twice in the car dropping my fiance off at work, and I've cried both times. This video is so moving and your words are comforting. Thank you for making me (and I'm sure others) feel seen with this video!

I’m just so choked up I can’t even speak leading up to the top 3. This is so powerful. I need to hear this. As a mum of 4 wonderful kids that test me every single day. My heart is just bursting as I recall the day I became a mum 😭

Wow what a reminder from God. I have that poem framed. My mom gave it to me when I had my first son. The poem goes... Cleaning and scrubbing can wait til tomorrow for babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow. So quiet now cob webs, dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep😊.

Oh my lord I have never come across video or a channel like this I'm binge watching this videos thank you a million times the world needs this information

Ha i knew you must have been a member, I prayed for help and this is where i ended up.. thank you heavenly father and for these posts.

Awesome message! I just realized I need to apologize to my girls for losing my sh*t last night when they flooded the bathroom playing at bath time :-( Perspective is everything!

I come back to this video every time I need a reset with my kids and every time I just open this video I start crying 😭 thank you for this ❤

Your job is to love them.... Is the exact thing... In our anger we forget that... Beautiful video helpful thank you so much

Sometimes as a father I think I fall into the category of things don't seem like they should when it might be normal. But I have always held myself to a higher standard so I hold my kids to a higher standard. Especially in todays world. So I feel like I have higher expectations then sometimes I should for their age.

This is beautiful, heartwrenching, and much needed tonight! ive let the stress of life make me so angry lately to the point I am irritated with my daughter for just acting like a typical five year old. My reactions to her behavior have only fed the fire and tonight I was left feeling very regretful with how i treated her today. I love this and Im very thankful to have found it.

Dr. Paul Jenkins, I am so happy the you tube algorithm connected me to you. Blessings ❤

we are not raising apples, we are raising boys. I feel so touching! I am a mom with 2 boys, the 3year-old older brother is always driving me crazy, and i realize that my anger comes every time quicker and quicker, after being angry is always regrets. I was so frustrated before that why I can be so tolerant and nice to a stranger but not my own son. Today i suddenly understand after watching this video. I can be a better mom for sure! super thanks!

I just wanna say from the bottom of my heart " Thank you!!!!" ❤️❤️❤️

This is a great video but applies equally to us Dads too, doesn’t it? Thank you to all the wonderful mothers out there and if you’re following this channel you are among the powerful few who want to be a better parent. Good luck in your own journey through parenting.

I’m sitting sobbing because it’s so powerful

I’m very grateful of this video Dr Paul Jenkins made. Our kids are angels to make us a whole person after all.

Wish I'd had this advice when mine were little. Still good advice as we head into teen years

Thank you for these tips. I would like to add that breaking and overwriting negative traditional reactions and patterns that we observed and received from our own parents and have become our default reaction to frustration with our kids could be helpful, too

This video is very helpful. I need this peptalk right now because I can't control my anger towards my daughter not listening and resisting constantly. It always makes me sad being this way because I remember the time when this girl is my world, my joy and my everything.

Crying while getting ready for work. Excellent video. Mother of two boys aged 4 and 6. Needed this.

I teared listening to your last point on remembering who you are. As a new mum taking care of my toddler I feel invisible and unappreciated everyday and it’s really driving me crazy. It takes a village to raise a kid, but there’s no village here, just me. I guess I really needed someone to tell me that all my efforts are noticed and appreciated, even though I know that they are my responsibilities for being a mother.

Thank you for the enlightenment. I've got 2 boys and they drain me so much every single day. I'm always angry and frustrated to the point that I wanted to be on my own Alone.

I was searching KZfaq out of desperation and in tears because I am so upset with myself for the anger that bubbled up inside me. I get angry so quickly! I don’t want to be this way. I want to be the mother I want to be! I dearly love my children and treasure them, why do I get so cross so quickly!? I am desperate to change! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this video and wisdom. It has given me a lot to think on. I am going to make some pictures to put around my house with some of these points on to help me remember and to keep perspective. I really am so grateful! ❤️

Kids are like a mirror, they do what they see and hear. We yell and get angry, they yell and get angry, we are patient and talk to them in a loving way, they will too. Praising your child helps a lot too. Price them with a sticker, a toy, a candy, a date night out etc. they will understand that they have earned it for a good behavior and following home rules. Just an advise from a mom to mom/dad. 💖🥰

I got so emotional thinking of the times I missed being observant of what my child was actually doing and jumped to being judgemental and missed the opportunity of recognising who this child actually is. 😭😭😭😭

I love the "Remember who they are" and remember who You are".All the lessons that Ive learned from you is so applicable to me now that I have my toddler.Anger management help me remember the purpose why I chose to become a mom.🥰

I'm a clinical therapist and find this equally applicable to fathers. Why is it directed to mothers? Great content for both. It also perpetuates the stigma of mom being the punitive parent - or even the only parent and the one responsible for all parenting - and dad being the hands-on, fun guy. It's making me angry!

I’m living in another country with 0 support here I was literally crying before I came across this video ❤️

This is a great video but why is it just for moms? I'm a single dad here dealing with all this same stuff. It's still helpful at any rate though so thanks.

Cried. And cried again. I've been so angry for so long...

Truer words were never spoken.. when we take care of ourselves we are so much better as parents! Also, that our ONLY job is to LOVE them, not to change them, or ‘make sure..’ 😊

I’m a grandma who is taking care of a very active 4 y/o who has an attachment disorder. I desperately needed!

My baby is 24, and I daydream about being able to do it all again ... but better. As a single mother, I took the "I'm here to..." too far and was too strict (though my parents thought I was a pushover). I wanted to impress people with how well behaved my child was, and I did get many compliments on his manners and sweetness, but this video makes my heart ache.

"Enjoy the journey! "Oh~this make eyes tearful. Thank you for remind me this when I was angry with my 5 years old!

All of us watching this video right now are only doing so because we love our kids so much and because we are good mothers. We love our kids so much that we just want to improve our mothering. We guilt ourselves because we love our kids. That should make us feel better alone. Motherhood is the most meaningful and rewarding but also stressful thing that we women will ever go through. Let’s cut ourselves some slack on our bad days! We all have them and it’s ok! We are all human!

I need a new heart. This just crushed mine a thousand times. Everyone MUST see this. Not only parents, every single one of us. ❤

I just yelled at my 9 yr old and she got teary and hearing this changes me

As a young mom. My child is really training me to yell at her to do things😭 I hate that I get so angry sometimes. So I really need anger management🙌🙌 thanks for this video.. I'm looking into creative ways on how to get my child to be more interested in learning. Guess I'll start right here🙌🙌😊

#1 “ Who you are” makes me cry soooo bad! Being a mom is HUGE! Wow!

I have 3 boys and they fight sometimes, my anger can get me to yelling.. I am so thankful I found your videos.. thank you!

This is exactly what I needed to hear. I have three children. My middle child is the one I just cannot communicate with. We always end in a shouting match both feeling exhausted and hurt. This video will change change that going forward. Thank you

Thank you for this! I needed this video today. Number #5 literally has me in tears because it’s so true. These stages don’t last so we should enjoy it.❤️ Love your channel so much

Can't be perfect. I've learned to be a mom who is not angry. I decided I want my son to just be himself and stopped expecting him to be the way I want him to be. Takes time. I'm not perfect, but I'm doing my best. Life's wayyy too short to be constantly angry. I'm proud of myself and my son. 💜😊

I’m a single mom of a 11 ur old boy. He has adhd/ odd. I feel like it’s so hard I don’t enjoy motherhood sometimes Thank you for this I needed to watch this

Literally crying! You’re so inspiring ~ it’s been so hard here in melbourne australia to manage pregnancy life with a toddler and no support under strict lockdown rules where no one can help out. I forget about all these ~ thank you! 😭

Wow... I can’t stop crying. Thank you. 💕

whew i love this space!!!! So many moms struggling with the same issues. Frustrations,anger,sadness,helplessness,guilt. (Liking every comment) Oof You are God sent sir ❤ Appreciate these videos. May you continue to receive wisdom from the Lord and pass it on to us lol 🙏🏼

Wow I'm crying😭. Such a positive way of being. I was struggling as a mother of toddler. I feel much better moving forward, this video was helpful! Thank you!!

Oh number one melt my heart, and that was all I needed, number five brought me back to the point of consciousness. Thank you for this. I chose to enjoy this ride from today.

Things are exactly as they should be and will get better. Thanks.😊

I’ve been a mom for 12 years. This permission to “lie” to myself (take another position that serves me better) is huge! Thank you. I was stuck believing something was always wrong. I didn’t realize that I don’t have the think like that. I wish I had learned this at least a decade ago.

Ok. So I will start telling my child I love her no matter what and even if. That will remind me. Thank you 😊

Dear Dr. Thanks so much for healing and helping us..You withhold nothing but generous with your kindness to make home a happier place.

Thank you Doctor for such sound wisdom and advice! Thank you for being on the parenting team!

This is what I really needed. I found myself mentally exhausted. Every day routine, while trying to finish nursing school. My mildly autistic child usually takes alot out of me because of alot of behavioral issue, and does not like being told what to do. Numerous of phone calls from the teachers, and Im always upset as to what am I doing to fail as a parent? I just want the best for her.