Living With My In-Laws is Stressing Me Out!

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Күн бұрын

Living With My In-Laws is Stressing Me Out!
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Пікірлер: 575

@kash7585 4 жыл бұрын

NEVER LIVE WITH IN-LAWS. In fact, don’t live in the same city with them. 😂🤭

@carolinelalam7542 4 жыл бұрын

😹😆

@luisasterioquerubin6829 4 жыл бұрын

Or community

@hollyb6885 4 жыл бұрын

We lived with my in laws for about a year. It was fine. We had fun. They are great people and we all respected boundaries. It CAN work but if it isn’t working GET OUT.

@sidharthchand8072 4 жыл бұрын

Holly B you’re fortunate

@Vydio 4 жыл бұрын

I have heard some suggest you shouldn't be in the same state.

@hg-tm6gn 2 жыл бұрын

As a Mexican American, no we don't do a better job at living with family! We just keep our lips seal or become super passive aggressive, it's really toxic. It's really toxic actually all wives in this situation are usually miserable!

@justagirl12345 8 ай бұрын

I hate how true this is. Currently living with his mother in law and ive been miserable for years and years asking to leave.

@viewzwithdeedelacruz8233 8 ай бұрын

Historically, we were too impoverished to not live with family so we had no other choice. The support is nice but mostly the codependency is unhealthy and miserable. If I had the money my mom would be in a guest house or down the street in her own residence.

@alanamosheim-7705 4 ай бұрын

Facts!!!

@QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 жыл бұрын

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.” ― Mark Twain

@darraghshiel8944 4 жыл бұрын

🙌🙌

@Maxdouble07 4 жыл бұрын

Living with my in-laws ruined my marriage a long time ago. Worst decision ever besides getting married. Get out.

@ImRunningazoo 4 жыл бұрын

At least you got your cute dog

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

My parents also advised me to never live next door to in-laws either. 100% truth.

@timelessmusicfamilymusic9175 4 жыл бұрын

Your in-laws want to correct you out of love💖, especially when it comes to raising your kids💏.

@juliancain3872 4 жыл бұрын

Never move in with your in laws, controlling and intrusive as heck, especially if you're spouse is a complete whimp, or with terrible communication skills. Communication AND Comprehension 50/50.

@thecatnextdoor12 4 жыл бұрын

tulips But cats next door are fine?

@bluejedi723 4 жыл бұрын

My first reaction: If it's that bad, move out. Mental health is SO important.

@ravreet6997 Жыл бұрын

Hardly indians understand !! 😐

@justagirl12345 8 ай бұрын

But what happens when you cant move out?

@financiallift6185 4 жыл бұрын

He doesn't want to move out because he's gotten content and is lazy about making and truly sticking to a plan

@AvalonMisty 4 жыл бұрын

I think you're right

@thecatnextdoor12 4 жыл бұрын

He doesn’t have a plan.

@chartuck 4 жыл бұрын

I'd bet when she met him he was a momma's boy, too. Every person I have ever dated that has been dependent on their parents and has never established boundaries with the parents never got any better.

@thangxixon 4 жыл бұрын

I think its money. Their household income is 60k gross for 4 people. He cant afford to move out

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

@@thangxixon 60k for 4 people should be plenty for 3 people to live on, even in 2020.

@sobc2737 4 жыл бұрын

I will live in a car or cardboard box before I move in with my in laws.

@msch3891 4 жыл бұрын

🤣

@jillroberts609 4 жыл бұрын

Me,too.

@sierrairick1704 4 жыл бұрын

Same

@Andonios88 4 жыл бұрын

You seem like a great family guy.

@gmarie3053 4 жыл бұрын

If it weren’t for the kids, definitely!

@Essays4College 3 жыл бұрын

NEVER move in with the in-laws and NEVER let family live with you!

@NoneYa-pg6dk Жыл бұрын

Ugh. My husband don’t want to either, but sometimes, his family put themselves in situations where his hands are tied. I end up picking up after everyone. FIL has the audacity to being entitled and thinks he’s in charge and makes everybody think you’re the bad guy because you refuse to do everything he wants. Drives me crazy, but what can I do, other than avoiding them, or go crazy. To this day, my husband considers me the crazy one. Pshh. Sometimes I want him to learn the hard way, but that is a stupid tax I cannot afford.

@ES-7766 9 ай бұрын

Your not the problem. For your own sanity, put your foot down. It’s either them or you!

@Sheryl777 4 жыл бұрын

I hope I'm wrong, but he sounds like the type of guy who doesn't want to move and will allow his wife to be unhappy in order to be able to stay with his mommy, because he thinks his wife is just giving him trouble instead of really seeing the issues.

@ryant2568 4 жыл бұрын

Me and my wife originally moved in with my parents and it took all of 2 weeks before we went and got a place of our own. We did not have a huge amount of money but I could see the emotional toll it was taking on my wife being there so I just had to make it happen.

@user-wf8xi5fs8r 3 жыл бұрын

That’s awesome

@BeautifulDelights951 3 жыл бұрын

Your an absolute gem of a husband. God bless you, and your wife is so lucky to have you. Wish all husband could be like that.

@vcr7533 3 жыл бұрын

👏🙌👏🙌👏🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

@krystaldillerd4641 3 жыл бұрын

Awesome job! Your a great husband.

@PixieQuin 3 жыл бұрын

good for you for recognizing that

@offgridjack5779 4 жыл бұрын

Hubby is perfectly happy staying under mommy's wing again and not going to budge. She might have to move out on her own soon.

@user-ec8js3nc1p 2 жыл бұрын

This is my problem 😥

@FilthyMcNasty69 Ай бұрын

With what income😂😂😂😂

@NikhLogic 4 жыл бұрын

"How to live with in-laws". Sorry to say, but YOU DON'T.

@RAFatturi 4 жыл бұрын

Yep, been there. It's not a good situation.

@ladev91 4 жыл бұрын

@@exceldetail My family is from eastern europe where that is common. I live with my wife with my parents now. Yes it is hard and we plan on getting out but we are making it work. It depends on the parents and your significant other.

@watergirl5069 4 жыл бұрын

Hmm.... my hubbie suggested moving in with his mom & I have been telling him no! He kept asking me why not... I told him, that "our marriage wouldn't survive it!" He never mentioned it again!

@racpatrice 4 жыл бұрын

Wow. Good for you. Is your MIL domineering or nosy?

@chartuck 4 жыл бұрын

Good on you. This is the only appropriate response. Married people shouldn't be living with other married people.....especially when those other people are family members.

@watergirl5069 3 жыл бұрын

@Akash Guha Thakurata nope! We get along really well and it will stay that way...!

@ravreet6997 Жыл бұрын

Lucky you!

@ravreet6997 Жыл бұрын

I am expecting and its really taking toll onme

@18ulises89 4 жыл бұрын

John: “Dave, you’ve answered this question for.. a hundred and fifty years on this show” Dave: WHATT?!? nearly made me spit out my water

@RandomUserName92840 4 жыл бұрын

Dave took it personally. Lol

@blink56k 4 жыл бұрын

Omg I cringed haha. The joke did not land at all. Especially after he explained it. Great guy but sometimes awkward haha.

@sockm7192 4 жыл бұрын

But it true if you watch dave Ramsey show for years.

@alexmergut8280 4 жыл бұрын

I think Dr D said that to complement Dave how well he gives advise on the current subject.

@Cookieboy70 4 жыл бұрын

@@blink56k The explanation made it worse, lol, changed it from experience related to just straight up old age.

@jill9606 4 жыл бұрын

If I were a stay at home mom and we felt compelled to move in with my in-laws to pay off debt and/or save, you better believe I am getting off my behind and getting a job to make that happen before I’m moving in with them with 2 kids and losing my freedom and dignity.

@stephensantiago603 4 жыл бұрын

Yup. Plus, her being home all day is a problem too. Her and the in-laws seeing each other all day. Instead of keeping herself busy and just coming to the house in the evening.

@jill9606 4 жыл бұрын

Stephen Santiago I agree completely with you. Maybe it wouldn’t be such an issue if she worked outside the home and they spent a significantly less amount of time together.

@jill9606 4 жыл бұрын

Excel Detail I don’t care if some women stay home if that’s what they and their husband agreed on and if they can stay financially independent, living on their own, but in this case, I agree with you. She needs a job NOW! I’m also surprised to hear a household income of $60,000 for four people and she’s a stay at home mom... that’s not high earning whatsoever. We make over double that combined and I wouldn’t stay home.

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

@@stephensantiago603 True. It still wouldn't be ideal, but it would be a lot more doable if someone in the house was gone more often. But up in each other's face/business all day..ouch.

@griceldaroxanneramirez9111 3 жыл бұрын

My thoughts as well, a lot of these calls and always the husband's fault but not a lot willing to at least get a part time to help and be able to move. That is just my opinion, its a team, not pointing fingers and just blaming the one spouse while the other does nothing to help that spouse get ahead. Its sad but way to many of these calls on here, to much complaining and no action.

@MR3DDev 4 жыл бұрын

Living with your in Laws is always a pain. I rather live in a car.

@LessThanHandy 4 жыл бұрын

I'd rather be abducted by a UFO for experiments than live with my in-laws.

@ImRunningazoo 4 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha. 😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@peacepharvin7799 4 жыл бұрын

I wish I had said that.

@shola7987 3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@Hiker2110 3 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@krystaldillerd4641 3 жыл бұрын

Good one;) me too

@user-wf8xi5fs8r 3 жыл бұрын

Baby steps don’t matter if you’re miserable. My in laws lived with me “temporarily” but turned out to be 1 1/2 year with them. They finally moved otherwise we were headed for divorce.

@TuyetNguyen-pp2ew 4 жыл бұрын

The son is used to his mom. He doesn’t think how his moms words and actions are a big deal. Been there. We had to go marriage counseling after living with my in-laws.

@ShakespeareCafe 4 жыл бұрын

Autonomy is expensive An introvert would never put up with such an insult on your inner sanctum, your mind

@fhuber7507 3 жыл бұрын

I made the mistake of moving in with my parents with my wife. It was just bad. Don't do it. A guy's mother is never happy with what his wife does. We got out ASAP.

@NoneYa-pg6dk Жыл бұрын

Yeap. My in-laws lived with me and it was miserable. I also can’t imagine living with a DIL. I’m teaching my kids to be independent before getting married. Hopefully they follow through. I had to learn it the hard way. I hope they can enjoy their married life and I don’t have to be involved. Fingers crossed 🤞

@too-da-loo 4 жыл бұрын

Listening to how other married people can't communicate, I thank my lucky stars I have an amazing spouse who enables us to talk about everything and always come out on the same page.

@dbzakj 4 жыл бұрын

Fact is not everyone out there is marriage or even relationship material. I wonder how many such people realize they are in this category.

@XFizzlepop-Berrytwist 4 жыл бұрын

dbzakj I doubt many, most people think the other person is 100% the problem. It takes a really enlightened person to take a step back and say, I might be a part of the problem, even if its 1% of said problem. Sure there are situations where other people are at fault, like cheaters, and drug addicts, or people that are abusive, or even just run and hide away from problems. But sometimes there is a bit of both of us are part of the problem.

@familybroich3073 4 жыл бұрын

Same! Communication is key to a happy health marriage.

@Tam712 4 жыл бұрын

Good for you! Unfortunately, in relation to this call, it's not just limited communication, it's the living environment. Dynamics change in a marriage - all marriages. Never assume, it can't happen to you. :)

@NoneYa-pg6dk Жыл бұрын

I accepted that my husband will never understand me, even if he did, he will never acknowledge my pain. He sides with whoever needs help the most. Meaning he’s willing to have me pay the price for his family’s poor decisions. I’ve allowed him to put me in situations that compromised my mental health. He had the audacity to try to leave me because I couldn’t handle the situation. Ugh. I was so dumb back then.

@nocigar7730 3 жыл бұрын

Husband needs to grow a backbone and provide for his family, period. Can't just run to mommy to save money.

@anneshirley9560 4 жыл бұрын

This makes me appreciate my mom and mother in law even more. I am so lucky. They are amazing.

@ladev91 4 жыл бұрын

same. Me and my wife are living with my parents until she finishes school. Yes, they annoy me but they have been very good to my wife. If they were disrespectful to my wife I would get very upset.

@michaelmarquez6133 3 жыл бұрын

Thats good, really good I don't have parents or grandparents or anything so you should feel really lucky because when you don't have anybody like anybody to fall back on or to even call for emotional support or anyting that's kind of hard you know I'm very happy for you

@Indyzato 4 жыл бұрын

"Mommy, she says we have issues."

@madisonbeneby5100 4 жыл бұрын

I could tell from the first 30 seconds that she was a stay at home mom. The husband is the breadwinner and a momma boy so she will never give him the ultimatum that she is leaving....why? Because its about finances...if she was working also there would never be a need for this call. She would just say we are moving..period.

@victoriapollard6995 3 жыл бұрын

I won't say what I can tell about you from your willingness to give ultimatums.

@mrmacmartinez3290 3 жыл бұрын

I don't think you should shame stay at home mom's. I think the husband needs a kick in the rear end to wake him up and recognize the emotional stress it's putting on his wife.

@mrmacmartinez3290 3 жыл бұрын

@- exactly

@mycupoverflows7811 3 жыл бұрын

I'm a SAHM and I agree with you. I work all day homeschooling my 6 kids but there have been many times I feel powerless because I am not bringing in an income. I know what I do is vital and important, but with 2 kids under 2 this mama likely feels stuck and helpless. 😢

@lindseyandrewal Жыл бұрын

Never EVER move in with in-laws....EVER!!!

@om617yota8 3 жыл бұрын

I gave up my apartment and moved back in with my parents to help them out when they were in a jam. It was to help them, not me. Worst decision of my life, easily set me back in life by five years. Absolutely never again, I'd live in my car before I lived in someone else's house.

@Alifeofadventures503 Жыл бұрын

How did it set you back?

@foodlover8078 4 жыл бұрын

I feel the callers pain. I’ve been in this situation before. When I got sick and tired of it I said “ima start looking for an apartment I can’t be here anymore, and to my surprised he was on board too. FYI Dave Hispanics are no better lol.

@SavageBunny1 4 жыл бұрын

We just moved in to a house with my in laws to save money for a house, they've always been nice, but my father in law has been complaining about every single smell, if we wear cologne or perfume, if I spray paint something in the garage, it's weird how people change.

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

@@exceldetail So true. I have stayed with my parents a few times while unemployed after returning from teaching abroad. It's always I miss you, etc until I actually get in their home. Then, it's all downhill from there. I was away for 5 years once and on day 4 of being back in their house I got screamed at for something that was not even my fault....suddenly, I was 12 all over again.

@SavageBunny1 4 жыл бұрын

@@exceldetail Its been 3 weeks!! 😂 we're actually helping them out with the rent or anything!

@Mr.Mrs.Smith. 3 жыл бұрын

He may be allergic to some smells. People grow into allergies. My allergy doctor told me it could happen every 6 months. I developed some allergies to smell after getting a whiff of some perfume in the mail. Before that, I loved strong smelling perfumes. After that event, I could not tolerate any perfumes for years as well as some other smells. And, as people get older their body change both physically and mentally. The change can be a simple effect of aging.

@paulinalobato6084 3 жыл бұрын

I’ve been living with my in-laws for the past 3 months with my husband and two kids. We’ve been waiting for our house to be built. But it’s been a rough wait... 😂

@romycoronado7639 3 жыл бұрын

Was it worth the wait?!?!

@vanissaberg5824 2 жыл бұрын

I've been living with my in laws for over three years now. He keeps saying he wants his own house with me and we're both working our butts off saving every penny for it. At least we don't have kids right now. I flat told him I'm not even going to consider having a baby while we're living with his mom and extended family. There's just not enough space and no privacy or respect for personal space or boundaries because that just how families are towards their adult kids. Luckily his mom is a lot nicer to me then my own family so I can tolerate it for the time being. Can't wait to have my own place and my own kitchen and live by my own rules though. That would be wonderful and I can finally have some peace. 😅

@mmp495 Жыл бұрын

At least there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

@marisatrevino306 4 жыл бұрын

I’m hispanic and My husband and I have lived two different times with each one of our in laws and we’ve had bad times and good times but at the end of the day we can all still get along and we’ve finally gotten our new home and all the time spent with them was definitely worth it because before our house was finished my dad passed away and then about 4 months after that my mother in law passed away so my dad and my mother in law didn’t get to see our beautiful new home. My mom is still alive and got to see it and his dad is still alive and got to see it. Just a little reminder that life is too short to hold on to any argument or any grudges. Just let them say whatever they’d like we are far more stronger mentally than that. They are our parents and will always be there for us no matter what. At the end all will always work out and you’ll never even remember what the arguments were ever about once they are gone ☹️so in the end Dave was right.

@Sheryl777 4 жыл бұрын

Regardless of what race we might happen to be, most women don't really want another woman calling all the shots in the home and/or contradicting how we want to live our lives and raise our families all the time.

@begoodtoothers3233 4 жыл бұрын

You are absolutely correct! Same situation here, my husband & I want our home so bad, but we are living with my parents with 2 kids to save cash for a house because we do not want a mortgage. Yes we bud heads with them alot but we have that same mentality as you do, enjoy these days because one day they will be gone!

@luisasterioquerubin6829 4 жыл бұрын

300 miles a long way off

@shantedewise7345 4 жыл бұрын

Just bc someone may die doesnt mean I will let them say or do what they want to me, The way I feel if you die I might be mad I didnt get the chance to stand up for myself so theres regret on both sides! Parents forget that there kids become adults to and sometimes they need to be reminded!

@marisatrevino306 4 жыл бұрын

Shante DeWise well seems like you’ll show them huh well at least you’ll feel good about yourself thats which definitely proves you’re still a kid not an adult

@cathykearns2147 Жыл бұрын

On the other side, it is hard to be the in-law they are living with as well. My daughter and son-in-law live with me at the moment. My daughter has three kids, two dogs, and a baby due any day. I don’t mind helping through transitions, and I know how expensive it is out there right now, but it is difficult and stressful for everyone involved. I pray for patience several times a day.

@ES-7766 9 ай бұрын

They should have planned better with having so many kids. Good luck.

@justagirl12345 8 ай бұрын

If you are the one that offered then you shouldnt co.pmain and be grateful to to help them. Thats your child.

@61sunset 2 ай бұрын

@@justagirl12345 Her child is old enough to look after herself if she has 3 kids.

@mikederucki 4 жыл бұрын

Oh lord I can’t imagine living with my wife’s parents, my thoughts are with this lady.

@isay207 9 ай бұрын

Why they having children if they can't afford it

@craiggreenier8856 5 ай бұрын

I live with my wife's father. It drives me nuts a lot of the time. Hes overly helpful and doesn't communicate well. Hes capable but he doesn't want to move out.

@manuelestevez3062 4 жыл бұрын

I’m glad I found Dave so young that I don’t even make money for a budget!

@texasbornrefinerymade753 Жыл бұрын

Never live with family, never rent from family, never borrow or loan money with family. If you buy a car from family pay for it 100% with cash, no monthly payments. Never EVER get into any kind situation with family that’s got strings attached in the form of money

@thejessman1460 4 ай бұрын

So true that’s where I f**ked up

@BboyMobster 4 жыл бұрын

That’s why you should put a date on things from the beginning.

@QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 жыл бұрын

"Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it." -- Harper Lee

@valeriagomez2677 3 жыл бұрын

Naaa we Hispanics just give in to our in laws or parents. Its just as toxic. I love my parents and my husbands family, but I would sooner live in my car than with them.

@chanano1689 9 ай бұрын

La suegra se mete en todo

@larissagonzales6075 4 жыл бұрын

This is tough for women because it is so important to be with your children but then it gives a lot of control to the person bringing money. I could never depend on someone that much too much risk of being left in a big mess or ignored.

@TimeisUp22 4 жыл бұрын

Girl, go get a job and babysitter and move out. Believe me, he will follow you. Don’t stay at that mans mercy while he ignores your mental well-being. Ask him does he want his mama or his wife?????

@sheila3936 4 жыл бұрын

Yep, or she’ll be a trapped single mother.

@bonnevillebagger9147 4 жыл бұрын

Any woman that makes you choose between them and your family, can kick rocks.

@racpatrice 4 жыл бұрын

@@bonnevillebagger9147 It's not that she's making him choose to abandon his family or to stop talking to them, but because his mother is "difficult" as she said, it's taking a toll on her and their marriage. When you get married, the bible says a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife and the two become one flesh....in other words if your WIFE is saying she's having a breakdown and there is no resolution & boundaries between her and your mother, then you are to do what the bible says...1. Cleave to your WIFE not mommy. 2. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her. In other words, put her NEEDS above your WANTS. Deny yourself so that your wife can be at peace and you can save your marriage.

@jill9606 4 жыл бұрын

Big Bear Bonneville A married adult owes it to their spouse to put him/her first, not mommy. It’s called “leave and cleave” ...leave mommy’s home and cleave to your spouse. When you’re married, especially with children, you have a duty to prioritize your own family over your parents, especially if your parents are misbehaving.

@JS-rj4pm 4 жыл бұрын

He needs to put his wife first over his “mommy”. He didn’t marry his mom, he married his wife

@veronicaguerrero5827 4 жыл бұрын

It's a fact! Hispanic can do it better! My dad married my mom when they were young he took her to live with his older siblings it was 10 of them in a 2 bedroom apartment!!! My mom left him and went to live with a friend after 4 months he went to go see her with a key to their own apartment thats the only way she went back with him even us Hispanics get fed up with family sometimes we know no borders or boundaries and I can make that joke because its about me 😂👍

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

My parents have Hispanic neighbors. There are two trailers and each trailer has at least 8 or more people living in it. My parents were outside one time and heard them arguing. No surprises there.

@blackjack444.... 3 жыл бұрын

😳 5 per ROOM!! Do You have to make appointment to take a dump? 😂

@shannon2748 3 жыл бұрын

@@blackjack444.... yeah, it must be tough. I am an only child, and I grew up in a house with just one bathroom. Three of us with only one bathroom got tough sometimes.

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Thanks for these recommendations.....,,,

@Chet_24 9 ай бұрын

I lived with my in laws for two years while my wife had the time of her life white i worked 55-60 hours a week staying at home with our daughter and her family. Finally, i told her she had 4 months to either finish her professional tests or find a part time job or im leaving with our daughter. I left with our daughter 3 months later, and she decided to come with to get out of there.

@krod91100 3 жыл бұрын

Hispanic here married to a hispanic woman. We live with my Hispanic mother in law while we are both going to get our Advanced Degrees debt free. Never been a problem or a fight. We love being able to spend time together. One thing I will say is that it is expected for us to care for each other so long as the dont give each other a reason to not to.

@waflletoast11 4 жыл бұрын

He's a mama's boy stuck with his family. need to leave them ASAP "if they ain't paying yo bills, pay them no mind"- Rupaul

@KN-cool 4 жыл бұрын

They probably are paying his bills 😂😂

@hubster4477 4 жыл бұрын

Whose roof is he sleeping under?

@tjbalistic 4 жыл бұрын

That was my thought. He gets to be a kid again. He's quite comfortable in this semi-toxic environment since that is what he grew up with.

@dcg590 3 ай бұрын

Maybe he is busy working and trying to work the steps. You haven’t heard his side or the mil side. Why does everyone automatically believe the woman?

@jill9606 4 жыл бұрын

I wish Dave would have mentioned that they need to establish a timeline of when they plan to move out. In x amount of months? Once x amount of debt is paid off? With no specific plan, this living situation that was intended to be a safety net is really becoming a hammock... too comfortable for the husband to want to leave.

@sherondahi11 4 жыл бұрын

It sounds like Cassie and her MIL are butting heads over the way she keeps house/raising herchildren. Her husband doesnt want to hear it because he doesnt want to pick sides. If Cassie cant communicate how to she feels to Dave, I can imagine how it is with her husband. Every time Dave asked her a question, she never gave a direct answer.

@mrsanonymous414 3 жыл бұрын

Husband should always have the wife’s side. He’s not married to his mom after all🤮

@mktay2067 Жыл бұрын

Should wives always have their husband's side? Always?

@tashajoykin5192 Жыл бұрын

@@mktay2067 Biblically, yes, the vast majority of the time.

@EmilyGloeggler7984 6 ай бұрын

My husband and I are looking to move out of my parents home soon. It’s physically worsened my health and caused us more undue stress.

@DoTheDomThing 4 жыл бұрын

3:25 Dave was quick to defend his FPU credibility and reputation. Right on Dave! And unless the other option was living on the streets, living with in laws is a no go for most people, especially without a plan on how quick they can get out.

@hollyb6885 4 жыл бұрын

He’s happy living with his mommy.

@elaine8013 22 сағат бұрын

I lived with my inlaws for 8 months while resettling in another state. My father in law was a strong, old school kind of man but he was the sweetest to me. Many times he told my ex that he didn't deserve a woman like me. I made myself useful while there. I cooked twice a week, cleaned the house once a week and kept out living area clean. Never had a problem.

@flacadiabla3193 4 жыл бұрын

Live in a trailer before living with in-laws

@privateprivate8366 4 жыл бұрын

She didn’t state in which way her MIL is difficult and we often don’t know. Particularly when we’re young. But, sometimes, even with a mother or MIL, an offer to live with them is a Trojan horse. They are, sometimes, offering that opportunity because there are strings attached. One might say that, if she’s needy and feels that it’s only right to help her out as, she’s helping you out. But, I suspect that it’s often done as a lure. Like you don’t know until you’ve moved in and they’re sure you can’t go back. At that point, you may have everything, including doing chores, taking her wherever she needs to go, giving her access to the grandkids no matter what her behavior, and even a curfew, even if you thought you were going to also work an extra job to save up some real money. In other words, you thought you were moving in for you, but that’s not what she had in mind.

@shannon2748 4 жыл бұрын

@@devilsadvocate7059 Nope. Just because it's her house, it doesn't mean she can treat them any way she wants, such as verbal abuse. Nope.

@sjaykay9884 3 жыл бұрын

Why does Dave give more straightforward, dynamic, and a better advice giver about family issues than the family counselor?

@dasheffield5596 4 жыл бұрын

Why do people keep having more children when they’re broke? 😡

@0neofthem 4 жыл бұрын

D A Sheffield They probably have nothing else to live for.

@ellekatrina1900 4 жыл бұрын

@dueimack they will take drugs to affect themselves. bringing children into the world is a different ball game.

@rebeccaoprea9917 4 жыл бұрын

They didn’t say they’re broke . 2 kids is not a lot . Mind your business .

@hubster4477 4 жыл бұрын

No job, more time for boom boom!

@joeb1522 4 жыл бұрын

Earning 60,000 a year is not broke. That is more than the national average. And they only have 10,000 in debt.

@ElRoastbeef Жыл бұрын

I'm Hispanic and no my mom is a nightmare. We're currently trying to leave and move in to an apartment even though the process are bonkers. Ofc I'd rather pay crazy rent prices than be there with my mom.

@rogergelwicks4684 4 жыл бұрын

Your family's peace is more important than the speed of Baby Step 2. It's too bad that mom-in-law is hard to live with, but no amount of paid-off debt makes that easier.

@untouchable360x 4 жыл бұрын

Not worth it. Just get out of there.

@elchicano4387 4 жыл бұрын

Im 19 earn around 33k yearly and wanted to buy my big ol diesel truck (2018 GMC Denali worth 45k) thank you for preventing that lol

@nateb19 4 жыл бұрын

El Chicano buy it when you can pay cash and I promise it will have been worth the wait.

@nihssamarie1393 3 жыл бұрын

Good for you not doing that. I screeched constantly to my boyfriend to sell his diesel. It was a dated Ford kept breaking down. Finally free from it 😝

@grayandgray 4 жыл бұрын

He has a plan. Get out of debt, save money for a house, tell the wife to shut up. That can be fatal to a marriage I see a "So go then" answer coming from him if she issues an ultimatum. They do need a specific timeline to be able to live though this and she needs to accept some pain. MIL isn't worse than divorce.

@F1R3EMBLEM 3 ай бұрын

Caller: I don't like living with my mother in law Dr John Delony: "Are you safe?"

@fferguson2013 4 жыл бұрын

See these are the things that are non-negotiable for me due to my previous experiences in relationships overall. 1. Peace of mind- because I require too much of my solitude and space to roam freely and be my unapologetic self. 2. Need to already have your stuff together- stability is a must for me and deserve to be fully comfortable in my space. 3. Needs to be employed or have an established business 4. Personal healing needs to be active And the full list goes on

@whittneyprice173 4 жыл бұрын

She calling in about the finances but isn’t bringing in any finances. They are in baby step 2 and he is paying for it. That’s why he don’t want to move because he’s trying to reach a goal for both of them, out of just his money.

@JenzJoe 3 жыл бұрын

Whittney Price Mental health is more important than the perfect money plan. Address the mental health at all costs with empathy, understanding and communication. Not having mental health issues addressed is why the richest and the poorest of couples divorce all the time. The plan isn’t worth it, if one half is suffering mentally.

@luminous6969 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah but him going to work is his contribution so he figures that putting up with whatever drama occurs at home is the least she can do since she's not financially contributing to the financial goal.

@amandaalexander7729 Жыл бұрын

True. I recently got married and you guys are my favorite podcast to listen to when headed in to work. I come from what I would consider a normal family and my wife not so much. I never realized how toxic and dysfunctional family members could and would play a role in my marriage. So I’m taking it day by day and listening too you guys all the way lol

@MARedleg 3 жыл бұрын

I’m so glad I was blessed with a good head on my shoulders and never had to put up with that situation.

@ES-7766 9 ай бұрын

When I got married, we agreed to not live in the same city as our parents, as we didn’t want their input on our relationship. My mother was butt-hurt, his mother didn’t want him to marry me, even though she never raised him, even when she had the chance. She also wanted us to move to Houston (we’re in the same state.) She asked him, he declined. She asked me and was being pushy. I told her that I would “never” move there. She replied with “never say never.” I said “I WILL NEVER MOVE THERE” in a slow and enunciated manner. She got the message because she never asked again. A few years after we were married, she had an old female friend of his at her house when we went to visit. He wasn’t interested and quite frankly didn’t understand what his mother was up to. I’m Hispanic and don’t understand how and why people of different generations live together, other than having children.

@TritoneTrickster 4 жыл бұрын

Move out. PERIOD. Sounds like the caller is over it. I’m currently back living at home for their exact reason, with folks who I don’t agree with half the time, but I have goals (similar to what the caller’s husband has in mind) and I have to balance that with how much stress living at home I can take. I think they may need to accept that moving out prematurely may be the best thing for them this time.

@dianer8881 3 жыл бұрын

We lived my mother-in-law for more than 4 years. She always told me what to do. No privacy. It was awful!

@bp24911 3 жыл бұрын

That's why to keep everyone's happy and good family harmony, don't let your grown-up kids moving into YOUR house with a kid of their own and a pregnant ungrateful daughter in law without a moving out date. I'm sure they didn't even pay 1 cent to cover any house expenses because they were "gracing" the lady of the house with their presences. Her entitlement is sickening. You invaded someone's else privacy by moving into their space. The least you can do is to be graceful and don't bad mouth the hand that's feeding you. Have you ever lived in a house with 2 small kids? I am sure the mother in law is the one with the most stress.

@sweetesthoneybee 3 жыл бұрын

Ha! Sounds like my husband. 1. He IS a mama boy. 2. Mama babies him so he doesn’t want to leave. 3. He cares about himself. Only after I decided to leave before he relented and we moved out. Still married and my relationship with my MIL is better than ever. He goes and visit his mom 2x a week at a minimum.

@M00N2H1N3 4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂 Dave’s response to Johns comment

@soniamartell9220 3 жыл бұрын

What a nightmare for this woman! It's his mom, so of course he's not going to see what a toxic person she can be. They need to move fast or this will end up in divorce or that woman having a heart attack. In laws can be a true pain in the you know what. Avoid living with in laws at all cost.

@CrimeDoesNotPay 3 жыл бұрын

I’m this caller’s mother-in-law. Cassy never cleans up after herself in the kitchen and makes toast without a cutting board. She also leaves peanut butter on the knife and it gets dry and solid, then double dips it into the my prize-winning raspberry preserves. My son deserves better.

@linhaton4957 4 жыл бұрын

Why have 2 kids and be a stay at home mom when you don't have money?

@shadoko785 4 жыл бұрын

2:50 Lol, Dave’s reaction. XD

@thecatnextdoor12 4 жыл бұрын

I dislike those financially dependent leechers who complain on only people who are helping them behind those people’s backs on a national show. Don’t marry males who need mom’s help to support a family. You did, it’s on you. Mother-in-law does not keep her hostage and sacrifices her own privacy to help.

@thecatnextdoor12 4 жыл бұрын

Devils Advocate Nice, I mostly agree with you as well. For sure she is miserable, most people nowadays are. The caller is miserable, her husband certainly is too.

@studentathlete7751 4 жыл бұрын

They should get a 2 bedroom apartment so the kids can share a room they shouldn’t be living in his mom’s basement.

@prmm218 4 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a marriage problem.😳

@FatMenace 4 жыл бұрын

Most pastors are in terrible marriages. They're not the panacea Dave keeps saying they are.

@mycupoverflows7811 3 жыл бұрын

Interesting. I know several pastors very well, and their marriages are solid, some of the best examples I've ever seen. We must know very different types of pastors. 🤷‍♀️

@rebeccaoprea9917 4 жыл бұрын

Everything is a trade off .

@hollyfield1303 4 жыл бұрын

Explain like Dave said Start packing Start looking for an place to live together today Bye mom

@SteveRam 4 жыл бұрын

1:15 there you have it

@mmp495 Жыл бұрын

She got herself trapped😦

@AbcDino843 3 жыл бұрын

I think the only problem here is that the husband is not sharing the load with his wife. $60k is a small shovel, so moving in temporarily to double the savings (potentially) is not a bad idea. The bad thing is that he needs to be exact and transparent about how much needs to be saved, what needs to be done for that to happen, and how long it will take, so that both of them can see the light at the end of the tunnel. His wife will be able to grin and bear it, if she knows there's an end to it.

@pamelahough3896 Жыл бұрын

Yep! Been there done that. I kept putting it off. But i finally found a job with minimal interaction with my father in law while the husband has shorter days. He saw how difficult it is to deal with his father and we finally moved out. Mind you! We're paying all the bills

@AimeePoppinBabies 2 жыл бұрын

I don't care what people say - it's NOT healthy to be living with your parents. It creates a really messed up dynamic. You are better off having any type of apartment and at least having your independence. Once you are married you are supposed to be creating your own family. Not playing house with mommy and daddy. My friend has her mother in her basement and now they can't get rid of her!!! She basically won't leave and they feel obligated to provide for her. Now her life and marriage are completely messed up. 😳

@Youngerick1990 3 жыл бұрын

Why doesn’t the wife get a job, and help with the debt, and down payment on the house she wants to get with her husband l? Instead of sitting in the basement all day with two kids???? 🤯🤯🤯

@hannyco2320 3 жыл бұрын

Maybe because childcare is so expensive and she'll be working and using all the money she earned to pay for the childcare. And not all in-laws willing to help watching the kids

@truthseekertruthspeaker 4 жыл бұрын

All the inlaws gave a thumbs down lol

@wanefelicia8779 3 жыл бұрын

Girl doesnt make a dime..she aint going nowhere

@tarawilkins92 4 жыл бұрын

I am going through this too but we have figured out and communicated what will work best for us we should be out in 6-8 monthes with a house of our own.

@amandadean3948 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve never been a fan of living with other people unless absolutely necessary. But I do believe it depends on your relationship with the in laws. I’m sure some can pull it off long term...but most likely cannot 😉

@richardc-ex7rt 4 жыл бұрын

Simply tell him that you and the kids are moving out, and that he's welcome to join you.

@JibbsCompilations 3 жыл бұрын

"That was a little bit of a boomer joke." I'm pretty sure both of these guys are boomers.

@Wilma.Flintstone 3 жыл бұрын

LOL, I knew Dave was going to give John some kind of reaction when he said 150 years! 🤣

@isaacgentz3319 3 жыл бұрын

Very fortunate in the in- law department, they're great! My wife was a great indicator - love you Kaylee :)

@christinebutler7630 3 жыл бұрын

He who pays the Piper calls the tune. The one who makes the money in the marriage makes the decisions. Leaving the workforce strips you of power in any relationship, regardless of gender. Having kids when you can't afford a house to raise them in was a stupid choice to begin with, but now I think she needs a job to get some clout in the household.