Met my future hubby on the phone, before cell phones and before cordless phones. We spent 3 hours on the phone and he did ask for my number. I gave it to him but never expected him to use it .. Why?? because within 10 minutes of us beginning our convo, I told him I had Cerebral Palsy.. I could walk, but walked with a limp, was extremely weak on one side as well as nearly blind in one eye, my left hand "hung" at the wrist, and I was unable to drive. I hoped he would call but didn't expect it because I could tell he was extremely intelligent. I'll stop here but He did call and we celebrated 39 yrs in 2022

You’re right, when men don’t show curiosity or engage conversation, it’s a turn off

Ladies, you can be high value and date one person at a time to allow yourself the time to focus and vet that person. To assume you have a higher “perceived” value because you date multiple people is absolute cringe. As a matter of fact, from the other side of the fence, I know a large group of women who wouldn’t even consider a man who was openly dating multiple women at a time.

Great advice about not giving unearned affection. Many women often make that mistake. My girlfriends do that all the time, again and again with different men. I know for a fact that it stems from desperation and low self-esteem from watching my girlfriends, no matter how many times they keep getting burned.

I’m also not attracted to promiscuity. I have only ever had sex with my ex husband, and he had only ever had sex twice before me (one time with two different women, years apart). The idea of being with a man who’s been with dozens of women is kinda gross to me.

Can you please do a video on how to turn it around if you've already jumped ahead in a relationship? Thank you, loved this!

It takes time to get to know someone, he can put in time to learn that I’m not just “vanilla”. I don’t have to open up right away. Ladies, take your time, no rush- eventually the man will get to know you and see your quirks. We don’t have to get on stage for anyone if we aren’t comfortable doing so and it doesn’t mean you’re not confident- it means you’re not comfortable or ready because HE hasn’t put in the time or maybe he’s showing red flags that makes you feel this way.

This was a really well done interview episode. I’d enjoy seeing do more topics this way.

I so enjoy listening!! Keep doing what you

❤ Great video guys! Thank you and Merry Christmas!!!

Playin’ pool is a great first date. Easier to flirt with the guy, way better than sitting across a table,,interview style.

¡Wepajé! LOVE the comment at 32:35 about backpacking around Colombia 🇨🇴 Your podcast is maravilloso! Gracias, thanks for all you do.

I think that owning and embracing my "ordinary"-nees is pretty extraordinary

Honestly, "high value" men don't walk around calling themselves "high value" 😂

What?? Stay classy? I would get a burger😂 I didn’t know that was a bad thing on a date.

People who cannot talk without saying like, like, like is a big turn off

I always have guys ask me why I'm still single. What is a good response to that? Like they want me to air my deepest secrets on the first discussion... No way. I tend to not answer and ask them the same question..

I like Dr. Gary Lewandowski a lot here, valuable insight for anyone dating.

*Perhaps we are in this world to search for love, find it and lose it, again and again. With each love, we are born anew, and with each love that ends, we collect a new wound. I am covered with proud scars.*

Literally took ten minutes of rambling to get to the first point

Having a strategy to me equals maintaining your standards. be a high value woman and expect him to value you!!

wow, I have loved and assimilated so much of the wisdom that you give out. However, implying that it is somehow not “ classy “, which isn’t really a thing , to eat a burger has really turned my head.

There is nothing wrong with telling a man you don‘t like certain activities. That’s how you draw your boundaries. Plus you‘ll discover that you‘re not a match. Way better than adhering to his choices! This isn‘t „changing him“ This is „NOT CHANGING YOURSELF for HIS sake“.

I actually had a friend that lied to her boyfriend and told him she was pregnant just to see his reaction!! 🤯🤯🤯 fake crying, the whole deal. unbelievable!!! I believe in being genuine, sincere and considerate. Live the Golden Rule!!

What kind of affection? "Unearned affection"? Like hugs? Touch on the arm?

You kept saying "high value" with the implication that only guys worth dating are those with the highest profession making 6 figures a year and anything less isn't worth a woman's time of day. I am in love with a man who works as a shift manager at Arby's and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. I make twice the money he does and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. I am not a feminist but I believe that a woman staking their financial life on a man is crazy in this day and age. I am 45 years old and grew up poor to the point we were homeless in a lot of cases so I can't fathom relying on a man to take care of my needs financially. I do however like that you touched base about the physical attraction thing. I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months and I was feeling like he wasn't remotely physically attracted to me because we hadn't been intimate, but we recently did get intimate and talked about it too, but I found out it was for different reason that had nothing to do with me. It made sense when we had that discussion. I've always had self-esteem issues which did bring out promiscuity in me, but I wasn't dating other guys when he and I started dating, I can't bring myself to date more than 1 guy even when we haven't discussed exclusivity only because that would be mentally exhausting for me and I want to invest my time into 1 guy. He (bf) mentioned how many people he had been with before he was in his first long term relationship and I did say I won't talk about body count to which he said he won't ask and really doesn't care. One of the things he did say is he wanted a mental connection with me before having the physical connection, sex isn't important but a great bonus to a relationship.

Yes! Be interesting … and interested. ✨✨✨✨

I would love to be asked to go play pool.

I would like to ask about something very confusing to me. We are told to set boundaries and present ourselves as high value. If you have met online and are in diff areas and going to meetup soon to spend time in an area together, have talked on the phone and Facetime and gotten to know one another and share many interests, is it ok for the man to say he will call and not, several times? Is it OK for them to say they are doing something and then ghost for a week and then dismiss it as they had something to do? I did not think so and I told the person it was disrespectful. They immediately came up with excuses of trouble with their trailer, or visiting family or getting ready for a bike ride....all that would never prevent them from saying....Can't call, not going there, not doing this..... I told them I am prioritizing relationships in my life right now and basically, count on what someone tells me once I get to know them, as that is how I treat the person. After listening to your podcast here, I am confused it that was right or what? But basically, I was feeling as you have said before, NEXT....

I'm turned off by the amount of "likes" this man says in this interview! This man plays so arrogant and there is so much shovanism between these two boys😅!

We like to be called "ladies".

If the man is right for you these things do not matter

What if you say that you want to talk about things like what made him say that he didn't want to see you anymore and he says that he doesn't want to talk about it at anytime and he says just talk about the good times

My 5 by 5 lifts would definitely like a burger over a salad ☝️😊

Hope you read comments here: What about a man who claims to no longer being emotionally connected to someone he has not broken up with in his relationship, am I wrong not giving him a chance?

Thank you. You made some really good points guys, but I must say choosing the salad over the burger to remain classy probably was the funniest part and most likely will turn off lots of women . But the other stuff, that was real helpful.

Are there signs of when to get intimate? With my last, we waited 2+ months. We had 9 months that were great. Then he got called away to complete a work contract (he's supposed to be return in 6 months). I spoke with him the first 4 days he was gone and haven't heard from him since. (kept texting the same. No replies)

I wish I had found this video 2 weeks ago 😔 oh well.

Stay classy? And get the salad? When u honestly want something else... thats being fake. If it works out, hes gonna learn ur real eating habits. Lol. What a load of bollocks advice 😂

The "promiscuity" thing is SO frustrating... i mean don't go around sleeping with everyone in the same friend group BUT.. 1) what happened with ENJOYING yourself? and 2) hello.. PRACTICE?! People aren't born knowing, there's a process to everything. Not to say that men expect women to be top tier prnstars BUT there IS a narrative around displaying confidence in the bedroom, which.... if the last time you saw a dk was 3 years ago because "you don't want to be perceived as "promiscuous"", how are you supposed to magically download the knowledge from the matrix and be able to handle yourself in a way that's enjoyable for both you and your partner? The double standard kills me

I dont love to travel.

If someone says they are vegan, it’s a quick goodbye

I thought I was guilty of doing number 2 but no, I was confident. He just was afraid of a relationship after he showed that he was crazy about me. But I will hold back next time because I really got my heart broken!

Please stop calling women girls. That says a lot of how you regard women. Surprised that an academic would address women in that manner.

Or it’s been 7 years and your still in the “dating” phase lol 😂

This guy who wants to get together for coffee is so out of my league. I’ve got 2 years of college and he went to Harvard! He travels the world for work. But for some reason he wants to get together for coffee. How can I handle the intimidation. I mean duh!

Adam why you have another guy to talk about relationship advice? It's unnecessary 😒

What is a good strategy for long distance relationships

😅😅😊😅😮😅😅😊

Seriously you are clearly drunk dude.

If he likes BIDEN…get off my porch. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Amazing advice as always! 🩷 Can you do a video on how you each met your spouses? Knowing what to say to transition from the Romance stage to the Power Struggle stage to the secure love stage. Many men don’t know how to do this. I’m in the Power Struggle stage, but my boyfriend is avoidant. Should I move on. Should I stay invested. Time will tell. We’ve been dating for 3.5 yrs. But I’m his first girlfriend after his divorce.