Noah at the beginning: "this is not a team game" Noah 2+ hours in: "We are gonna win this"

OH SISYPHUS CAN YOU HEAR ME??! I KNOW YOUR PAIN AND I KNOW YOUR AGONY!!!! I HATE THIS GOBLIN FOREST I HATE IIIIIITTTTTT

You know it’s bad when Noah changes rules to BENEFIT the players

it's been days. i cannot forget cannon dwarf. his methods seem harsh, but he was never truly an enemy. Upon his victory, he bestowed his foe with more power for your next fight, as well the gift of cannons, while only occasionally taking the opportunity to better himself, if only to be able to keep up with you and further help your growth. As he is finally defeated, he goes down with a smile in his lips, truly glad to see you break past your own limitations, satisfied that his sacrifice could be helpful. Ultimately, cannon dwarf was a not an enemy. He was a friend, and a mentor. He will be missed.

The cannon dwarf found an amazing XP grind spot

The 4 horseman of making you insane : +2 to all abilities : summon another Hydra : add a goop to your deck : return to start

at 1:13:21 Noah added 5 to Cannon Dwarf's ability, which is why he got odd numbered. watching this video 3 times has unlocked my magical abilites, which is how i know such arcane things

For future reference, Noah has established here that 1 Slime is 2 Goblin Equivalent (GE) and a Hydra is 7 GE. This is important lore that I hope Noah never forgets.

20:18 - start of first canon dwarf fight 1:25:40 - canon dwarf dies This video would’ve been about an hour shorter if somebody hadn’t fought him over and over again and powered him up 10/10

Alternate title: 4 friends getting tortured and becoming mentally insane by some dwarf with a cannon

Twobold: Wizard who keeps blasting himself into last week and getting tp'd to spawn by the Mystic Forest of Goblins who turn into Hydras. Phish: The Rogue who happened to be in the right place at the right time to snag a fancy future gun, then fought countless Hydras for many days and nights Lewie: That one Barbarian who is literally feeding the stage 2 boss all the xp they need to make the BBEG pale in comparison I'm glad I found this channel 🤣

"That time the rogue fought an endless gauntlet of hydras and became the strongest in the world" put that on my anime watch list

The virgin doubling cannon vs The chad +2 cannon

There was no shadow realm on the board, so the board became a shadow realm

"I'm going to keep fighting the canan dwarf, it's only good things" -One Poor Soul

the best part about this is that the cannons are supposed to double the power AND the consequences. so cannon dwarf's stats should have been in the thousands

“Why won’t you die?!” “Cannon arms, son! They increase my power in response to physical trauma!”

they kept comparing their task with sisyphus but atleast that guys rock didnt get heavier when it rolled down.

It's funny that the only guys that infinitely increase in power, who can delete the dragon, are stuck behind an also ever growing Cannon Boss, and the weakest finite rolling player can only hit 2 numbers to defeat the dragon but never can hit it when the dragon rolls weak but when he does once, it's back into the rinse cycle or being outplayed by the dragon

Honestly it was phish we were all worried about but when twobold and lewie got stuck on the cannon dwarf i forgot all about phish’s pain then.

The first two-thirds of this is among the funniest content I've seen from you. The last third is like a lucid nightmare, where every second I have to acknowledge that I'm voluntarily subjecting myself to this hell and despite that I continue to suffer when leaving is completely within my control at literally any moment. 5/5.

"No horrors here, just pathetic wizards who's greatest spells are my cantrips." That Twobold wizard quote is insanely raw.

"I rolled only 1s, lost my staff and haven't used any magic" sounds like a title for a new isekai anime

"all i see is GOOP and WHEEL" absolutely KILLS me every time lmfao

I petition for raw full length feature of the Google slides movie with 1 and a half hours of never before seen footage.. thanks in advance.

Noah sounded genuinely happy. This added a whole new layer to the comedy.

As recorded in the books of Noah... 1. Phish. The Thie- ...Rogue within the brilliant hero party. The Rogue who was capable of: "Do nothing, do nothing, nothing happens, upgrade dagger, steal from allies." He was in one of those story plots where the weak hero gets trapped in another realm doing an endless training arc. After that eternity, a mighty warrior armed with unusually numerous explosives had torn down that realm filled with hydras and seas of poisonous goop, freeing him only after upgrading his armory of explosives by working together with the mighty dwarven lord of legends. Of course, the rogue of legends within the hero party had grown his body tremendously through incredibly rigorous physical training. (Oddly enough this hero had no powers aside from now being as fast as lightning. Though he became known in the early journey as the world learnt of his tremendous skills in survival when faced with endless hydras.) From here he then battled the mighty Dragon known as the Demon Lord for 150 days and 150 nights...!!!! Then finally defeating it with sheer perseverance, saving the world from the tyranny of the Demon Lord. 2. Twobold. The grand magus within the hero's party. He began his epic tale of noble sacrifice within the goblin forest. Legend has it that you could hear his mighty thunderbolts creating titanic craters where those puny goblins faced utter genocid- ...Defeat. It was said if you looked closely, you may even see an "illusion" of the mighty man himself flying off into the distance to display his triumphant magic power and encourage humanity with his screams of victory... Legends say this hero did it so much people started thinking he was obsessed more with hunting goblins than advancing his thunder spells for the sake of humanity... Yet his story did not end there! He too got trapped within an endless sea of hydras as the hatred of the goblins created another secret realm, though he managed to annihilate them too after having mastered the art of generating and unleashing endless power...!! Then his tale ended with the noble sacrifice of sealing away a mighty foe hidden within the tallest mountain peak along with the final hero party member, a mighty warrior...!!!! Truly he displayed an overwhelming sense of duty, moving humanity to tears. 3. Lewie. The man with an incredible affinity for being a warrior with his overbearing physique, who despite this had an unnatural interest in alchemy and then ultimately... Explosions. He saved the Rogue from certain doom with unparalleled explosives after having had them forged by the mighty dwarven lord of legends. (Though his existence had strangely disappeared during this tumultuous era.) Unfortunately, nothing else is known aside from the fact that this hero (who may have been even more mighty than the grand magus himself although only by rumors) had chosen to sacrifice his life alongside the honorable grand magus to hold off some great and mighty terror hidden deep within the tallest mountain on the continent. Some dwarves say the foe was the dwarven lord and that history was written wrong, as if the heroes were assaulting their God! This preposterous claim is pure heresy! Noah makes NO mistakes in choosing heroes.

51:42 "this is worse than death, it's infinity" would actually be such a banger quote if taken out of context. with context..it sure is a quote.

No intelligence is more artificial than Noah’s.

If you ever do another video woth these three, one of two things needs to happen 1. Canon dwarf needs to be the final boss 2. Have it on a rewards wheel, like, a 3% chance to land on, be "summon cannon dwarf" and see how long before they notice

Never have i been so entertained by the same exact sequence of moves for over 40 minutes,you guys are amazing and hilarious

Not many people have noticed, but the rat wizard has a move that gains +10, so it if Lewis didn’t roll the bomb or the black hole, the rat wizard would probably be STRONGER THAN THE CANNON DWARF

This video is divided into two halves. First Half: Shits and giggles Second half: Anguish beyond belief

1:14:48 the fact that cannon dwarf didn't even lose to himself- no, even worse, HE TIED with himself, is true pain

one of my favorite parts of this video is, for some reason, the parts when noah accidentally selects the wrong wheel on the left side (particularly the "cannon dwarf vs cannon dwarf" parts because of how monotonous the footage beforehand is, like all the wheel spinning + counting, and then hearing someone go "wait noah that's cannon dwarf vs cannon dwarf/that's hydra vs hydra noah" just cracks me up bc it breaks the monotony)

As a potential statistics major this video scares me

A good MagicTheNoah game inspires insanity in its players. A GREAT MagicTheNoah game inspires insanity in Noah himself.

What this video taught me: -Dont let these 4 go to Vegas -Psychological torment is a serious problem -All hail Cannon Dwarf, lover of cannons

Simplified math, in the end twobold had about a 0.6% chance to beat 150 6 in a thousand chance. Having 8/9 staffs instead of 7/9 would have given him about a 9% chance. 50x more.

This was probably my favorite type of mechanics for a game you've ever had. The cards for combat, the upgrading of cards and the wheel's determining the actions. All that needs to change is the difficulty and things are perfect. But I would also allow the fusing of duplicate cards to make them more powerful so things like the blue staff are usable in the mid game.

the production budget has improved yet again. so much quality now

Phish’s experience with the hydras is exactly what fighting a hydra is actually like. You cut off one head,two more come back. It’s realistic

For the low low cost of an hour and a half, you too can watch Noah and his friends descend into madness. It was quite pleasant

if anyone else is curious, Phish's points disappear sometime between 1:00:20 -1:00:50. took a lot of scrolling around after they pointed it out haha

"There's a second stage?" - Fish You can hear the hope extinguish in his voice 😅😂

really appreciate the amount of effort noah puts into captioning everything. its super helpful when they're all yelling + oftentimes makes the video funnier

*My 2 favorite moments:* 1:04:09 Noah's scream of agony 😭 1:15:40 There's a second stage? 😰

The absence of the shadow realm may have weakened Twobold but he still powered through, what a comeback!

They got so broken at the end they forgot the main function of cannon was to also double the punishment Imagine how much stats the cannon dwarf would have if they still doubled the punishment

This is unironically my favorite gameshow video of all time, nothing else from any creator has even come close. The actual, sheer desperation in -everyone's- voices really adds that special something.

I could have watched a movie, I could have watched a series, but instead I watched people suffer

Noah at the beginning: i am holding you hostage Noah at the end: the game is holding US hostage

They joked about it going to long. Then I see there's an hour left..

Twobold came in as an underdog, came out as the hero Lewis came in as the protagonist, but will forever be remembered as the villain

Twobold is addition and Lewie is Multiplication

I love how in the end they all had different builds in their decks Twobold: addition stacks Lewis: multiplier stacks Phish: high-ish base items

I will do 1 push up for every 6.9 likes this comment gets

27:16 twobold: theres so many hydras *little did he know*

Finally, a game that broke Noah more than the actual players

"One must imagine sisyphus happy" In the end you could really see this here.

Cannon dwarf better be a reoccurring character after this

I LOVE that two bold Cannot do anything at start but at the end wins

I WANT A FULL VISUALIZER OF THIS!!

Cannon dwarf needs to make a return. It sounded like every time they lost to him they took a shot.

"Phish, the Slayer of Hydras" "Lewie, the Dworf Assasinator" "Twobold, the Dragonslayer"

At the start of this video I had some laughs here and there but when Phish started to fight the hydras and their mental stability started going downhill, I couldn't stop laughing even after the video ended, I was literally gasping for air.

1:03:45 is the hardest line to shout this late in a video

Noah changing twobold’s subtitles to “I did choose” and “this was my choice” was so good.

This was unironically the best Noah video, everything in it was perfect, twobold being teleported to the spawn, phish being stuck in the gauntlet, and the cannon dwarf slowly powering himself

love how it went from them going against each other to them helping eachother and praying that one of them just beats the game already

11:03 Imagine if the goblin got rid of Twobold’s Lightning then Twobold would have no way of losing since he’d just keep getting +2 on his attack forever until he has enough strength to win Also Noah you probably should’ve maybe just kept spawning creatures so that way everyone could get stronger without having to risk the Cannon Dwarf getting stronger faster than them.

Noah, Noah, Noah. I need you to release the full version. I need the full 7 hour cut. Please. And also the board game. I need to put my friends through this hell.

I find it really funny that Noah refuses to duplicate Twobold's staves not once, but twice, and after he suffers the consequences of not doing so, he realizes his terrible error and does not make the same mistake a 3rd time when the opportunity comes again

This is transcendental art. You didn’t set out to make a masterpiece, but against all odds, it was created.

I sent this to my statistics Professor he emailed me back saying if I sent him another thing like this he’s going to fail me but he said it is an ungodly low chance for it to happen the way it did

Fish did say he would become the protagonist 48:50 Fish after his 100 hydra training arc:🗿

I love the fact that Noah reached the point of trying to end the game 1 hour in and then there was another 30 minutes of video left xD

YOur logic at the end is flawless, how can I not? This is definitely the best video I've seen yet, and I swear its 95% schadenfreude You guys did good XD

Oh my god, this was too much. Why did I subject myself to the last half hour, I think I was as happy as they were when it was over. Amazing video, hyped for the next one!

1:12:46 when Twobold said “you suck Noah” but then the captions said “you are great Noah” is so good 😭😭

This was the best thing ever. I love how you did a community poll asking about captions, and then had to caption an hour and a half of gameshow.

I like to imagine at the end, the dragon sees a fish covered in slime. A wizard with his hair sticking up, from all the lightning, and each hand holding 4 staffs. And a tired angry drawf, covered in gunpowder, pulling an entire platoon of artillery to fight it.

I don't think this will be sent to a statistician to analyze, this should be sent to all the psychology majors to learn how comedy accelerate insanity.

Bro this was like one of those manhwas. I killed millions of goblins and I became the strongest wizard.

The Exponential descent into insanity is amazing

Phis made the most distressing "There is no Hope!" ever and i'm all for it

this would literally be one of the funniest isekai mangas holy shit. 3 main characters, one just farms hydras but is bad at it; one goblin killing specialist that blows himself up constantly; and the hero that constantly fights against the demon lord's general and they both get infinitely stronger

1:28:14 That dog was the secret MVP, giving Twobold the necessary support to break free from the shackles of this insane game.

I love the captions. I know you do it to make people comment more so I am commenting more for positive reinforcement. "This guy might actually be barbie" Man, you're good with that.

the long sobbing/maybe laughing at 1:03 followed by the screaming really made my day

I like how twobolds wheel just became a counting game

I like how he says he "lost the footage"then shows clips from said lost footage

I seriously laughed more at this, than I have at any comedy movie to come out in YEARS. I swear, you could enter this in the Sundance film festival, and win 😂

I really wished phish would get knocked back 10 points back into the cannon dwarf at the end there xD

There should be a "Summon Canon Dwarf" Option on future final bosses.

I don't know if I've ever laughed so much. This has to be honestly, the best one. It REALLY did circle from Funny -> Not Funny -> Funny Again. I can't believe it. Was super invested. Hope twobold played with dog after.

Only like if you watched the whole video. :)

1:04:12 Bro was done with everything at this point. My favorite video by far

Honestly cannon dwarf is just the rpg mentor. He just spars with them and both have the potential to get stronger.

Im surprised this video has not been taken down from KZfaq for showing the most inhumane torture method to ever exist.