Kind of,! That quote was meant to be for people that were in danger of being attacked by Malignant Narcissists, or other forms of evil.

Sarah Johnson, that's my father's mantra when I and my sister were little. Now that we are all grown up, just like Dr. Ramani said, he kind of lost his power. We are no longer dependent on him and he can not make us sit and endure his crap! Now he could understand how much he lost with his nasty behavior but it's too late. I'm never going to let him close to me. I mean emotionally close. He is no longer relevant

Yeah, this causes bad karma that, eventually, catches up with them, particularly at the end of their lives and if they lose money, status, and power ... I suspect that homes for the elderly are full of those because their families either do not want and/or refuse to care for them or are already so damaged and worn out by their narcissistic abuse and simply cannot care for them .... I wouldn't be surprised that, sometimes, narcs with their evil deeds ultimately set an expiration date on themselves .... NPD is pernicious, for the victims and can be, ultimately, for the victimizer ... one more reason to pay attention to this problem ....

Machiavellian mindset

My father actually said out loud, “I think that children should fear their fathers.” Mission accomplished. He made me hate him too.

I actually felt a sigh of relief.

Agreed. Especially when it’s someone you looked up to and loved and never suspected.

I pray for my children that they one day wake up to his father's abusive behavior. My children are all adults 28, 30, 32. Two of them with children of their own

yes, I gaslighted myself by telling myself "its just me and my issues"

This is exactly it.

Mine did the same thing, but I stayed

@@yeswing10 love yourself enough to leave. trust me you deserve better. dig deep and find strength

My father did the same, but we couldn't leave .... Until I became old enough to get a job and left at 17. And my brother did the same. Hope you're safe now.

Reactive abuse can lead to acting out in frustration at times. I found myself pounding my hand on a wall when I was being gaslighted by my wife several times. One day my palm went through the hollow part of a wall. I was shocked at how frustrated I was by her abusive treatment of me. Because I was the man; I looked like the abuser, and she used it to cover her actual abusive behavior. They are masters at deflecting people from seeing the truth, even in court. My wife actually bit me on the lip one day; she said she was defending herself from me when she asked me to give her a kiss after an argument, like a dummy I did; the problem with this....was there were three witness who saw her intentionally bite my lip...which was assault. Shocked the “hell” out of me, and it “hurt!”. Here’s the kicker; she love bombed me for a while, and I stayed in the darn relationship. (I still cannot figure out why I stayed.) Reactive abuse is very real by the way; and often the true abuser is ignored by people or unnoticed. It sucks. As a male married to one of these beings; I was a caged bird for a very long time, stuck in a living nightmare for years. I’m out now; except now I have lots of therapy to undergo. 😬

@@bigceazer I finally did leave(after 30 long years). He kept me in a constant state of fear, poverty, subservience. A brainwashing that you can't survive without them. Praise God, He opened my eyes, and gave me the courage to flee from the devil.

Same exact situation here.

They are ACTORS

Same here, I also have a malignant narcissist dad.

Same! I wish you are free and happy now ❤️

Me too I went No Contact with him last year

Yep 😩

That isn't healthy, but understandable.

Rhushikesh Deshpande it’s sad but true. I feel the same way

Blessings to you. Hope you heal soon.

After a narc relationship of any kind, it is extremely hard to trust but good to recognize that although there are some very sick and evil people out there, the majority of people are decent.

I am happy that you finally found your freedom. I can understand your mental state and wish you lots of love and courage. It would really not be an easy road and may take years to get back old you but at the end it would be worth. 😘😘😘

N S, thank you so much for your kind words and support 😍. God bless you!

You describe what it feels like perfectly. I'm so glad you got free! I hope that you and your children are able to move on and heal from this.

Stay strong. I am so happy you got out.

My adopted narc family treated me like a slave. My narc father would literally guard my door from time to time to make sure I was not studying. There was one set of rules for me compared to the rest of the family. Ugh it was hell. Narcissists are like a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any moment . Blessings to you 😊

Bless u for all the work

I definitely feel more educated about psychos after listening to her!

Thanks to all the mental health professionals 💜 Dr Ramani has saved my life, I never knew that both of my parents growing up are malignant narcissists. This week has been something.

@A M Yup. I tell a therapist “My stepmom is narcissist” and she says “Whoa whoa whoa, I wouldn’t just say she’s a narcissist”. Clearly uneducated on narcissism and obviously thinks its a fairytale. Even kept redirecting the conversation when I was talking about it

@@jake90009 sounds like therapist might be a Narc as well...just saying

Thanks you... ❤

We should be very grateful. She is literally saving lives. Thank you Dr. Ramani!

@@esmeralda8305 millions of lives saved from suicide just by spreading truthful information and really caring about people

@@kymchessall7853 a true gift for us!! Wish her all the best in this world.

Lives and livelihoods alike!

Yes she is💙

Stay strong, Sister.

Girl same here! ♥️ Lets keep strong

What is the cycle of emotional abuse?

Hang in there God be with you

Ashley look it up for yourself! Not trying to be rude but it’s very important that you understand it

When I finally stood my ground with my wife, I found myself in a very messy and ugly divorce. 4 months after she suddenly abandoned me, prior to the divorce occurring, she had found another man to get involved with, and I was left in the wind for saying “No, I will not accept the abusive treatment any more.”🤨 It was like our 32 year marriage never took place; almost broke me completely. I poured a lot into a marriage that was not real.

@@risingeagle6332 So have I. I know Exactly what you Mean! I'm now leaning g towards releasing myself from all the Drama!😉

There was one that I knew, she hated jokes. And hated when I would play jokes on people. She was a major attention seeker. She was a narcissist.

I can relate. It's like when Dr Ramani talks it's like she's validating everything I've been through.

That's a sweet sentiment. I bet many feel the same way.

Julia, ikr Feels closest safest as most will come who's lived it

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Same here! I feel seen and heard by Dr Ramani in a way I havent in personal therapy. She knows and understands what we're going through. I am so grateful for her and her work. It honestly feels like the confusion, fog and self-haslighting are FINALLY clearing away!!!

Oh man that foaming at the mouth, the scariest thing ever plus the demonic eyes while screaming with rage followed by violence. Experienced it all with my partner. Just getting things in order asap then im out!

@@camcor6420 - Hurry! Do NOT back down.

A hero too

And She is so hot😍

"Omg! Who u telling! 😮ME TOO!!!!!!!"

Damn.

Yes, That! So much Yes.

Same

So much wasted time and money with inept therapists. They caused almost as much damage🙄

I understand you. I was 19. Left while she was away from home, with just one backpack with the first necessities. My mother then started the first smear campaign, lying to everyone in my extended family and every family friend, that I left home because I'm an alcoholic prostitute. None of them ever called to check in with me or to offer help. If even one of them would, they would've found out that there were zero element of reality in her lies. The second smear campaign started 3 years ago over a legal battle for my fathers inheritance. That one was even more dangerous, as she lied to everyone that I tried to push her down the stairs and that she is now in fear for her life. I cut all verbal communication with her - only in written form (for evidence), and when necessary, agreed to meetings with her only in presence of several witnesses. A year later she had several strokes, and now my half-brother is taking care of her. Of course, some of the family members and family friends have called me a few times trying to guilt trip me into visiting my mother, because "after all, she's still your mother". Thanks, but no, thanks. Before watching this video today, I could never understand how a mother could do all that to her own daughter. There were times when I tried to rationalize her smear campaigns as coming from a twisted place of worry or over-protectivness, or that maybe she was in fact delusional and actually believed all the things she was lying about. But now, I think I understand - both smear campaigns happened when she lost control over me and had no means to get it back.

@@dardega your story is much like mine, only my father was the narc. I finally left at 25 as I helped him with a side line business he had from age 19. I didn’t tell him anything, only my mom. She didn’t tell him my plans, but didn’t try to interfere either. I literally had to sneak off without warning or I never would have escaped. He was mad as hell when he found out and didn’t want me in their house again for at least 3 years. My mom had to call me when he was out of the house so we could still have a relationship. He finally calmed down and we repaired our relationship. But, he almost lost me forever

@@violetskye6863 My heart goes out to you, I hope you and your mother are well. It's heartbreaking that she had to keep it in secret that she was still in contact with you. I think that children of non-narc parents oftentimes just cannot understand why would an adult child have to literally escape from their parent's house, when normally parents help their children with starting independent adult life and are proud of them.

@@dardega that's one of the most difficult things to deal with, I find. Healthy people from normal families just cannot truly understand - and I don't blame them. We're in crazy territory - it would be worrisome if they could relate to crazy... nonetheless it helps to continue the cycle of invalidation

I had the same issues with my evil step monster (malignant narcissist). Had to sneak away. I was never allowed to use the word step or I would be beaten within an inch of my life!!! Now when contacted by police or private investigators involving issues with her the first thing out of my mouth is "step", followed by, "evil step monster". That one little word snaps people back into reality. So my suggestion to all the other children of malignant narcissists is find the one word that will snap people back into reality.

But, it is really painful when others automatically believe the malignant narcissist without checking the facts, first.

@@butterflygirl2285 to be honest, all I can say is that it's the life. Those who did not believe you even after knowing you (or even after you make your case to them) are probably the ones you really don't need In your life.

You're right. I never thought of it that way before. Almost everything that used to bring me joy, doesn't anymore. It could be as simple as a song you liked. If they hate the song, they will whip you with it until you associate it with them and turn against it. If they love the song, they will whip you with it, pervert it, until you can no longer stand the song. In short, everything they touch turns to sh*t, in my eyes, anyway.

So true, I am having thoughts of revenge. Indians have very less idea of narc and it becomes difficult to make anyone understand what this person is

@@nidhikashyap449 I agree and disagree. I actually have seen pretty decent material ancient literature in my mother tongue (marathi) that I somehow knew about these patterns. However, I still did not see malignant narc creep in my life for years. I suppose somehow they are updating themselves always to function in the world.

Hi my evil step monster is/was a malignant narcissist as well. I was not lucky enough to be the golden child or even the forgotten child I was the scapegoat every time. I have been told that the golden child is abused in a very different way than the scapegoat. But when I was willing to have contact with my brothers and other family members I found that some of them were just as abusive as the malignant narcissist was. So I suggest that you and your dad check in with your younger siblings and find out if they felt abused by you or your dad? Asking them will go a long way to clear up misunderstanding caused by gaslighting and manipulation from the narcissist? Wish you and your family well!!

I understand and feel for you. I'm so sorry you have to live with this. I'm glad you are learning to trust yourself and moving forward, even living in the shadow of their fear & hate.

"Stop caring about them and... depersonalize their reactions." The only thing that's bringing peace! Good, solid advice! It's not about you. It's not their fault. They're not your response.

I had generalized anxiety disorder during this time. I had to constantly look over my shoulders to make sure the narc was not there. In many cases he was!

Hey Amanda Causey! I'm so sorry you have to go through that! I do hope you feel better now and that you start to realize that there are good things in life too! You are worth it! Heal from it and move forward! Try to do things for yourself that make you feel good about your self! Do little things to appreciate life and it will get better! Practice mindfulness, being aware of you're surroundings in the now is really helpful! It helps you to protect yourself from Narcissism especially, now that you have the valuable lessons and tools from Dr Ramani's sessions! Have a nice day!

I was in therapy prior to marriage but chose a man therapist so my boyfriend would feel more comfortable but that didn't help (either).... Now, after being together 32 yrs and my enlightenment to his unwarranted rage, yes, he's lost his power, it's been just turned to more ridiculous behavior of his part. These vids are tops, we can do them comfortably and at our relaxed 😌 pace at home 🏡! Blessings!

@@joseenoel8093, I agree!

The X was cerebral /malignant covert NarcoPath. The X is a hybrid. There are several different types/blends of narcissism and various degrees of intensity. They can have several traits of more than one type that overlap. It’s not always black or white but often shades of grey. Regardless of precise diagnosis toxic is toxic.

Glad that your counselor didn't ignore his narcissism. Mine and I assume other ones do ignore it which is fd up because that is the root of all problems. They fear losing clients and money, horrible and malpractice.

@@phoenixrising8007 yes, very true and Dr Ramani has helped me to clearly see that. It takes some determination to keep learning about it because at first I just felt scared and literally ill because I was almost in a panic. Feels like ill never escape but education is the best medicine in our situations.

Hang in there. You’re worth it.

I'm so sorry, if not for the grace of God many of us would be there.

Good for you Taylor! Things will get better honestly, I didn’t think it would but there is a peace and joy you can feel from life again xx

Kelly C you are right it was not your fault. Blessings to you

Yes! I pray that life treats you well from here on out. 💕

you did not know then what you know now. congratulations for leaving.👏

I feel you a 100!!!

Same!!!!

I found law enforcement the same, unfortunately. Narcs "lead" the force, so they are on the narc team. What did Dr Ramani say? They never change! No matter where they are..

Same. I was denied justice, because they saw nothing wrong with what I had gone through. It fills me with rage and sadness that so many people are left destroyed from the inside out, and there’s no one there to protect them. It has to change. There are countries talking about it though, and a few petitions going around for people to sign. But we need it now.

@@Chuleta_9 , from what I understand, the UK now legally recognizes coercive control as abuse. Here in the US, we are far from being able to achieve that.

Geneva Lawrence Yes, you are correct. The only place in the U.S. that recognizes this type of abuse is New York.

Rebecca Buschhorn It’s really good it worked out for you, but that’s not the case with so many other victims. My friend was dismissed because she had no bruises. Her abuser had to punch her or break something in order for them to take her serious. I was dismissed, because they viewed it as just another couple with “normal” issues. They were insensitive when they spoke, and had little regards for how uncomfortable it made me to talk about it. Most of them are just the same, or desensitized by how much they’ve seen.

I had two if these diabolical beings in my life at the same time. My ex’s mother is a Malignant Covert Narcissist, she would not take her claws out of her daughter. I felt like a “ping pong ball” between them with their paddles. A flat out living relational nightmare with a toxic mother-in-law acutely enmeshed in my relationship.

They get worse. No contact all the way. 😢

So true

Contact a domestic violence group an advocate will help you

They usually pay off judges, doctors, police if they have the finances. It's about them succeeding, spirit of lawlessness.

@@ediereno4630 Exactly!! They are about control, drama and money, lawless indeed!

It's not always that simple. It can be dangerous to leave a malignant narcissist. It needs to be done carefully.

Don't think managing is the answer, I guess. I say that because just saw it and thought, ok, I will manage it. Never considering getting away from it.

And fear being murdered

She has a video where she talks about the signs to look for in yourself, how you feel when you’re in these types of relationships. It’s one of the first I saw so I don’t remember the name :S

.They often use weapons such as money to influence. It is important to think strategically in this regard not to be dependent on them. This is the price you pay for needing their resources.

@@davidf3821 My ex was SO irresponsible, I was always the one working, prioritizing, paying bills, responsible financially. Sometimes, however, dependent or not, even if you didnt 'need their resources'... it still impacts you in the end. When I left, that loss of control, power & his manipulations, hoovering & tantrums not working for the first time in nearly 26 yrs... Before I could BLINK, he cleared ALL of our accounts, closed out 401k, stopped son's health insurance & even hid the cars trying to get us to come back. When that didn't work, he even tried messing with the disability income I was recently living on. So much, that... they spent 2 months halting it until they could 'review', then when they saw it was some bogus b.s., reinstated it. Didn't change that my son & I went 2 months with NO income, after struggling already just before, after all the accts were closed, etc. He manipulated what little family/friends left that we hadn't already been isolated from, so... unsure who to trust. Esp since, 1... told him where they thought we were at because he seemed "concerned"... Another, told me we should give him another 'chance', that it's about 'forgiveness'. smh. As we were being threatened (when ya leave, for some of these people.... it's like, rules don't matter, nor laws...boundaries, none exist... all bets are OFF, they just want control & to win) TO top it off, he ran & filed for divorce knowing position he just put us in.. That I'd surely prioritize my son & him eating... that I'd never be able to pay to file/appear, let alone have any way to get there, to contest anything. Idk to this day if he had someone stand in 'as me' or ?? But somehow, he got it put through in no time... no waiting period, nothing. No child support, no maintenance/alimony (26 yrs together, on/off since H.S... 16+ of, married.. teenage son at time) No division of assets.... nothing. We've been stalked, threatened... We've been total no contact since day 1 & over a year later, we're STILL being looked for... we're still in 'survival mode' trying to put aside anything we can to get our own place vs renting a room we have to share, w/ me sleeping in a chair (w/ back issues) so he can have bed... to get transportation. Hard to think of future or living, when all you do, has to be about merely surviving day to day. Just meaning that even if you were never financially dependent on them or anyone.... it can still end up that way when toxic people try to destroy & no one in your family (who have means, etc) helps or does anything but complain about not being given your address, when instead.. they should be worried & asking about our safety or if we need anything. =/ Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Stay safe & be well.

@@mmanda515 I went through basically the same type of situations. My moms parents worked like animals to their last day and my dad just sits around and lives off it has not worked in 30 years. Than I married a user very similar to the one you describe. That animal not only shared her money but also tried to poison me for months until I caught on and would not eat any open food. Through it all though they are miserable - it is not like normal people doing things that make them happy. They do it with some fantasy that it will make them happy but they are just as miserable the next day.

Char yes, I am needing a lot work. To continuously look for the red flags. To listen to my gut. I had the narcissism in my parents and brother ... lots of DV in our household. Lots of denial and gaslighting by my mother as to the seriousness of the issue. So, go figure I set out to “never have a relationship like hers!” Yet I have had the same dynamics... the denial... the same verbal and not as bad physical threats ... she had the physical abuse. I don’t trust myself anymore to even know if I’m just scared to be involved or if it’s a red flag...or a little of both. I’ve been in therapy a longtime...

I wish that more people understood what it's like, to have a voice in your head constantly telling you that you're unworthy of everything. It is a struggle, but the fact that you're trying at all is a sign of strength. I hope that you're doing better, but remember that recovery isn't linear, we all slide backward sometimes. If you are making an effort to avoid hurting people, you're already a better person than the narc.

@@mattstiefel4806 thank you. I'm having a low day today, and your comment is really kind. My narc ex has left me isolated and without direction. It isn't easy to feel good about myself right now. Thank you.

Way to go sugar, I'd called adult protection on mine (81) a few months back, finally she's been committed, people just don't realize what we've gone through, thank goodness for Dr. Ramani, her deliverance from these demons is nothing short of complete perfection!

Looks like we have a lot in common. Now that I've seen this video series, I'll have peace too. I've been so guilt ridden after cutting her out of my life. No more.

I went no contact with mine 3 years ago. I found these videos this year. It has helped me

My NOTher is 84 as healthy as she is evil

I was the same way for decades. I still get migraines & vomit if I watch too much. It will probably get better but don't expect overnight change. You have my blessings. Keep working on getting beyond the pain Maybe books will work better for you than videos.

How are you doing now?

Bingo. That, and primary emotions. What are primary emotions? (There are 6. I call them the "Inside out emotions") -Happiness -Sadness -Fear -Anger -Love -disgust They are the basic human emotions we all have, except people with aspd. Even narcs have these emotions, AND they usually feel it more intensely than regular people. (This can vary though. However, I have been told "narcs wear their emotions on their sleeves") So narcs and regular people have primary emotions. Psychopaths lack more than 1. They don't feel it, never have, at all. For example, my ex (sociopath) can't feel fear, love, and sadness. None, zero. She just can't relate, and has never felt those emotions. How I spot a psychopath now is by using this simple emotion chart. I get to know a person, and then once we have talked for a while (a week or 2), I will ask them if they lack any of those emotions or ask them questions related to the emotions. If the person does not have one or more of these emotions then I usually can tell I am dealing with a psychopath. And so, then I go no contact and leave.

@@specialtwice4975 Malignant narcissists do NOT feel love more intensely than neurotypicals. And, even though they experience moments of happiness, they rarely, if ever, experience contentment.

Yes!

My sister. She purposely snores all night, opens the window, drops and rumbles through things, laughs really loud, turns on the light, and stands over me when I'm sleep and talks in a baby voice. If I make even the slightest sound when she's sleep she yells at me all day.

You are so right. They get you with sleep deprivation! It was like a POW Camp

@@pandoraw259 Move out as soon as you can. Have a sister like that aswell, just get out and minimize contact for the rest of you life.

I am RIGHT there with you... God BLESS you and i pray for protection, guidance, peace and joy in Jesus' Mighty Name.....

I hope you made it out❤

parents and brother is the worst :)

exactly right - this type is so hard to spot. My boyfriend's mother is this type and I'm trying to get him to see that she is using him as supply but he still feels too guilty to cut her off... but I think he's finally starting to accept that his parents were narcs and that he was mistreated and robbed of his childhood. It's crazy how ingrained their narrative can be to us. Like other people said before "only truth can save you but first it's gonna hurt like hell"

Well said but when it's your covert mom you're stuck with her leaky heart instead of a leaky roof, or none at all (roof and heart!).... No wonder those intelligent enough not to follow suit and become narcs themselves are called survivors and thrivers. 😘

Unfortunately, those of us who were raised by a narcissistic parent often don't have gut instincts to protect us. Living with narcissism is our normal. We know it feels bad, but we don't know that life can be any different. That's why we're too often colorblind to red flags.

@@genevalawrence801 now you know and you can spread the word. Educate yourself and others. The past is the past 😘

@@joseenoel8093 the power is within your hands and heart... Always remember that you are the most important, fundamental person in your life 😘

Amazing breakdown. I worked for a covert narcissist and over a year I gain at least 20 pounds. My body was warning me but my mind was making excuses because I want to believe his false persona.

Yes day by day, thank goodness because the nights, wee hours are quite rough!

@@joseenoel8093 100000% 😞

Yep, my mom/sister are covert narcissists, my dad is more malignant (maybe a blend). My childhood was mostly me hiding behind my door, barely being able to focus enough to look at the pictures of children's books, even into my tweens.

You need to go NO contact- not gray rocking.

I feel like i should just copy and paste this comment . My exact same situation

Same.

I'm 59 yo & GOD Bless you for DOING the VERY thing my Mother Would Not... Ps my NOTher is 85 & LIKE far to MANY other NOTher's she is far to healthy...

@@keithstewart7514 I'm sorry this happened to you with your mother and father ❤️ If your father treats you like that then he shouldn't be around people. Children need their healthy parent to protect them if something like this happens. I still remember a lot from my childhood and I do for my children want I would have wanted at their age. I also joined some groups to get some insight from survivors that have gone though similar, I want to do my best for them to be able to heal. Did you seek out therapy when you were old enough to be able to advocate for yourself? How has your healing journey been?

Katie Marcincuk I second that.

I know that exact look and situation -- it's something I hope to forget

OMG, I am SO sorry 😞

@@expandhealthinc.1887 ty

I don’t see too many comments from men here. I got out and divorced finalized. But my son Omg you describe exactly what he is just getting out of. Unfortunately in his experienced abuse was literally over the top. Very violent crazy lady. She hurt herself intentionally during rages, threw herself into walls, purposely hurting herself physically, pulled her own hair out. She continually self inflicted injuries upon herself anytime he said he was leaving her. She has done this in front of family and friends, totally witnessed by others.Here is the most atrocious part. She called 911, charged him with assault. Police automatically see her bodily injuries, look past my sons broken nose, cracked cheekbones, bloody bite marks, numerous bite scars, 2 stab wounds and who winds up in jail…not her. Police do not believe the man. My son has done 2 stints in jail due to her accusations and she laughs and brags about it, openly says now I have you where I want you and she does, total control. Very violent lady. Both times, she has gone before Crown recanted, cries that she was just upset, oh dear oh my and nothing has legally happened to her, charges dropped and he us released from jail after a couple of months. While he is in jail the phone calls to him, how much she misses and loves him. Meanwhile she is tormenting the family, texts, threats to family, threats on his life inside jail. She is certifiably nuts! This time he did not go back to her after his release and she is wild, my son has gone no contact and really needs to watch his back as he has no clue as to what the aftermath fully entails. She already had a new fella on the line before she put him in jail for several weeks, this last time. Personally I went through hell for 13 yrs before I ran in secret from my husband. So I understand the hold she has over him, I understand the she still has on him and he is in his first steps of going no contact and has a really long road to recovery. He is lucky she discarded him this time and the cruelty behind her actions is mind boggling. All we can do now is support him. As I told him, your friends and family will reconnect now and he will have a huge support system, we just could not stand and watch her abuse anymore, we had to remove ourselves from the entire nightmare, we are here for him. This lady had no boundaries, she was quite comfortable physically attacking him in front of friends, family, children, I mean no boundaries. Our entire family and his friends would not allow her in our homes or anywhere near us. She totally isolated him. He tried many times leaving her, his biggest mistake was telling her he was done and leaving. Never tell them plan your escape route well in secret, tell no one and run for your life!! I am so glad you got out, these type of narcs are so incredibly dangerous. Healing is a very long process.

@@sjmnanna01 wow Sue. What a story you and your son have. It needs a longer answer than I have time for now, but I will send you huge kindness from the East Coast of Essex in England. Your son (and everyone) deserves a peaceful and happy life. This will come I think when he gets the person who was abusing him out of his life and out of his mind. August 14 will mark 1 year since the police took my ex girlfriend away (for the 2nd time). My neighbours and friends and family made it clear (some nicely, some bluntly) not to have her back, it took me 9 months (April this year) for the switch to switch in my brain... And I can now focus on living a life on my own peacefully and happily. No one deserves the treatment your son had. I hope he has healthy relationships with others he can focus on, ultimately he needs to heal by thinking (many times each day) about his own good qualities, achievements, attributes... All the things the videos talk about... It's vvv hard but it's possible. In April I was still RUNNING from my door to the shed and back if I needed something because I was petrified my ex would call and ' catch' me outside.... Which in her mind meant I was on the way to or back from 'doing something' with a neighbour... Aaarrrgh!!! By May... I turned a corner in my thinking.. It took a particularly nasty phone call from her that made the switch operate in my mind. Till then.. I was still loving, caring, devoted, believing I could 'fix' or change her. ALL the vids say THEY DON'T CHANGE. Hopefully your son will heal.. Tell him Stu in England says it's POSSIBLE and I send him kindness and good vibes. Thank you Sue for your reply. Every positive comment is one more step to healing and better times. Good luck and THANK YOU

They do overlap. I was married to one for 32 years; blew my mind when I discovered this in 2018 after she suddenly abandoned me when I finally said “enough!” She made me pay dearly. I found myself thoroughly isolated and abandoned by everyone, as a result of her superb triangulation and people’s inability to look behind her lamb-like mask. Professional therapist could not see through her camouflage at all; drove me practically insane. The movie Gaslight (1944) and Invisible Man (2020) show how they can get away with it so easily.

Yes! Please do a video Dr Ramani on covert malignant narcissists! They are terrifying and confusing but sooo covert. The abuse is just so brainwashy and so brain fogging, and the trauma and terror makes it so hard to see through the gaslighting. Menacing, terrifying, awful but very very covert, like a covert sociopath.

Wishing you strength. Hold on