LOL!! 😂

Hey man you can't always be right. You passed the fail test. Therefore you failed.

I won'tlie, I've gotten a haircut and asked my boyfriend what he thought of it. I feel like it was pretty justified though because I went from having long hair almost to my waist to basically a pixie cut. And he didn't like it. So I'm growing it back out again because honestly the only response that I care about is the "I don't like it" response.

absolutely what an amateur

This one gets it!!!

No more true words in earth. Besides EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF.

You are wise

that's more easier to memorize than his long scripts.

Herm Ask well, considering words like ok make females rage grow 6784% they have to be long.

Xibyth You.. you.. You mean if she says 100 words, I don't just rephrase her 100 words in my low timbre (what I guess the OP meant) but I have to come up with ,say, 5000 words to make her content?

Need help. I don't know what manuscript to use whenever I encounter a problem. Last time she talked about her hair, and I pulled the "I love her side of the family" manuscript

@@HeroesHoshi I tried colour coding the scripts but I ran out of primary colours before I ran out of manscripts and there’s no way I’m walking down the lime green, light green, road.

I bought 5 copys.

😅

😂😂😂😂😂😂

🤣😂

You win best comment!

Better than no friends

​@@justinnamuco9096NU

u didn't read the instructions carefully this is for married people not for single😆

She shouldn't have hold it in

@@Fallen-Saint I should have acknowledged her feelings and recognized I am an ass rather than asking her "are you hormonal already? damn, that month went by fast..."

I thought about sharing it with my wife for about a second and then decided it wasn’t worth the risk:).

Duuudes... you should think if this relationship is really doing any good.

Really? I found this hilarious.

Ahahahahahahaha!!! You're hilarious.

Stand tall, Tall Dave!

:(

Lol sorry!!!

Women are highly overrated. :P

😂🤣

This is why we have children. So we have an outlet for Dad jokes

LOLOLOL

☠️

Ouch... 'dust' was definitely not the correct response....lol Are you still sleeping with your dog?

That is the exact opposite of what my husband would say, he much rather talk about every disagreement as it deepens our bond.

@@lighthouse_23_ the point is he wouldn't know you're mad since you haven't told him yet and probably won't for hours and you expect him to smell that there is a problem with something he did.

@@leoxd7029 I guess some people do that. I explain to my husband why I am angry and we talk about everything.

@@lighthouse_23_ This is the correct way of doing it :) Communication!

The pain from the knife in the back thrown by an angry woman because I didn't read the mood! However, it is also why I'm single. I refuse to play that game anymore. I don't have time to play that BS blame game where she's never wrong, and even when she's wrong, she still isn't wrong. The bitch epidemic is in full swing, and I have no intention of getting infected again.

He do be a ginger.

I want to like your comment, but you are at 69 likes and I don't want to ruin your day.

Cracked me up.

My boobs are getting bigger, am I fat? Well, my boner is getting bigger too, lets share our fatness together?

@@markusaurelius83 🤣

Fs in chat boys. Another man has fallen to evil yet again.

John Pappan 😂

you just gave me the best laugh

LOL

😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂

😆

🤣🤣🤣

But only until you will eventually realize that he became too tame and spineless for your liking and you start noticing the handsome man in the neighbourhood who's driving that needlessly loud motorcycle. It's annoying but also irritating in a good way. Weird.

Dont you feel so much better now that she told you? Ok thats enough gloating, now get to work on them faults!!!!

😂

Now you know what to Change =) perfect , just get it done , to easy hehe

@Tucker Latham Whose side you on man? You're just making it worse.....

@Tucker Latham Good. Just don't try that trick with an actual female.Your brain will melt.

Yah, must work for the Pentagon. ;-D

not sure why women think that is saving money. my wife will tell me she bought something she did not need because it was on sale so she saved money by buying it. i tried telling her the truth but she does not listen so i just tell my son instead. that way if he ever does decide to get married he will know what to expect.

@@paulk5311 He needs the Manslator kzfaq.info/get/bejne/m-CGnMWQzM-4dqM.html

Literally woman logic

I just tell her, "great! How about you giving me all of that money You saved".

It is also weird that this is the same script as the butt kissing script I received.

Underrated comment

My husband looked like a kicked puppy the last time I got a massive haircut. Poor thing! Lol. He said he’d like it. He was wrong.

I've actually use that line before, it works. LOL

Bukakke

It was close. We're supposed to notice it immediately and then comment.

Fuck you

Now you’re getting it!

I hope you're joking. This feminism is a joke. Why can't we have a rational conversation anymore. Why do men act like a kid when the wife says something. I laugh at men like this when I meet them.

@@thetruthyes the truth. The truth is…that you should be able to tell we are all joking. Especially jp, and the commenter, and myself.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This script works so well it teaches core values and takes them away to give to her. it's genius!

And the look on his face...lol

And the Judge gave her half of everything he worked his ass off for and then added alimony on top of that, oh she didn’t have healthcare from you anymore so the Judge also says you gotta pay for half of the years you were married for her individual policy ......... real Laws in Connecticut, don’t ask me how I found out......😳

@@johnydoe8636 And then they all lived happily ever after. 💕❤️💞

Stephie Calligraphy Except the guy he lives in his parents basement contemplating suicide.....

@@johnydoe8636 I guess that's why I was being sarcastic..

Stephie Calligraphy Hahahahahaha ya got me, me and my wife were recently going to go through with a divorce. We agreed on exactly what we both wanted and everything was all worked out just needed to be drafted up. Her Lawyer was saying no take him through the grinder and get more than half she said no he’s been a fantastic father and a good husband why would I wanna hurt him like that he said because you can. She actually called me up and said let’s fire both Attorneys and start over after we both spent 4K each. Then we find out they both know each other go to the same golf course practice in the same area and both kept trying to drag it into court...... we relieved them of their extortion and still have to seek new Lawyers, nothing but a legal organized extortion syndicate enriching themselves upon people and there’s absolutely nothing you can do they charge $300 per hour and can name their own price and if you disagree go pound sand..... this is exactly why marriage is in free fall men are simply not marrying because ultimately it’s is us who lose......

Michael Nightingale sounds like my bf lol

Six years into this marriage and that is where I am at. Ha!

The ol’ “yes dear” works for me.

hahahahaaaa

😂😂😂

😭 1 pint = 1Gallon? 😳

@@SewingBoxDesigns Figure of speech, when you say I'm just popping out for a pint, it always seems to end up up being at least 8, but if you tell your wife you're just popping out for a gallon she won't take it well.......

lmao!

Thankfully now that I discovered Man-Scripts, I can go through hell with a manual guide.

You sound miserable. Why are you still there? Masochist? You do realize your life is your own? Although why hasn't she left? Must be something good keeping you both together..

Triple H!?

@gruntydatsun Wow. If buttering toast was to loud for her, tell her to get ear plugs. That's a little ridiculous. I mean, unless you were buttering it over her sleeping head, right next to her ear. In that case I'd be pissed about buttery crumbs in my hair though. Not the sound.

@@BlueEyedMomof378 hahaha

I know I am in real trouble when mine responds rationally and logically...it so scares me I cower and know I messed up. Any other time I try reason...I just simply say "no" to everything and she gets me...she doesn't like it but she respects my consistency!

Bullwinkle Eats Vegemite If you look up narcissist in the urban dictionary, it says “most women”.

I like that the eye contact is scripted too. I can just imagine "look at her eyes" in the script. 🤣

You can see his soul dying as he reads it haha

He's an animal

Haha your name...

As a western psychologist and international matchmaker here in Ukraine, this vid is the most truthful hilarious reality check I ever watch. God bless you! You make an outstanding work. You got me!!! 👍

I'm dead 😂

My favorite!

Best skit since dave chapelle show

Loved that.

I loved this one so much, too! I'm all about equality until I see a bug in the house!!

Ye, "I'd be happy to pay the credit card bill, and any future bills" hahahaha

Oh Lord. This is absolutely priceless. I am laughing. my ass off.

He dies inside a little every time he has to reaxch for a script.

His facial expressions are priceless

Love the stare he gives after delivering the speech! 😂

Agreed. We're hard to understand and even harder to get along with. He's telling the truth in a comical way

That’s actually a real argument recorded on some conservative KZfaq channels. Find the one with Matt Walsh. The girl was actually explaining how saving $50 when you spend $500 saves money.

also pretty sexist, considering a lot of women actually DO WORK.

Has she dump you yet?

@@Xia-hu How is it sexist? 1100 bucks for one person's clothes is ridiculous unless it's tailor made. Plus I don't know anyone that can afford to drop thousands of dollars on clothing.

@@FJDH11 if he was lucky!🤣🤣🤣

@@Xia-hu Why can't you SJW's just learn to laugh once in awhile? This so-called "woke culture" has taken all the joy out of everything!

Yes that is hilarious! 😆

Come here to the comments only to see this one🤣🤣🤣🤣

Edz Ward Guilty as charged, and yes that line was pure genius!! 💥

31 for me....

Algiz Rune No. it’s glorious for a man to be alone in the forest. He is absolutely right.

lol

My favorite rune

no, the man in the forest is once again smart. he then builds civilization and all the modern comforts, then women come along after everything is done for them and start complaining that men enjoy more things in that civilization......................

Seb Walsh , “wrong” to a woman or women

lol

Jokes on you. They're free.

Another hack; just screen record all of them individually and play them according to the situation that way you dont even have to speak. JP does all the work for you AND technically takes the heat for you

What you gonna do without the cold shoulder script!

I visited the link and even after signing the newsletter I did not get them.

He would be filthy rich if he didn't do it😁

Hooray! Norm is the best at being the best comedian, because he makes me laugh my funniest laugh.

Rest in peace Norm.

Lol

You sure that's not a Rodney Dangerfield joke? That 100% sounds like his joke.

@@tonyg490 yes, I’m sure but you are right it was inspired by Rodney kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iJ-JlNaanp_SXaM.html

me too

Randy Johnson hair without the perm.

Here's the ❤️ you deserve from the creator.

thats faf.

@apba boots with the fur?

islanti that's about right

Kaitlyn Boffey 😂

This comment paired with your profile pic is pure gold haha

🤣

Ha😭

lol this is great!

That one and when he says the part about looking into her eyes and just looks up and opens his eyes really fast lmaoo

My girl asks me about this all the time. Do it however you want, I’m not the one rockin the cut.

@@jenniferv.1810 LMAO! priceless!

Yeah...But why do women get so concerned about their hairstyles, though? Wear it how you want. Nobody cares. *AND* I can prove it. Do you care about other people's hairstyles???

Amen

Hallelujah!!

Even an athiest can use that one!

and don't forget provisions, like beer.

I sent that very verse to my exwife who complained that I camped too much. Psh.

My husband loves watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. 😂

That was my favorite part because it's so true

That might be the most brilliant line of the video. Non gender conforming women do want men to follow their gender roles in the relationship. Like WTF, double standards anyone ?

@@captainfatbat9557 No, it's a single standard; the woman does, or doesn't do, and she gets, and avoids, whatever she wants, while the man's responsibility is to take care of the rest. She deserves recognition and fulfillment, while your duty is self-sacrifice. Anything else is obviously blatant subjugation and objectification of women, downright misogyny and testosterone poisoning-induced bigotry. See? And with all that, the woman is still the victim in the relationship because she might have been able to marry someone better, richer, funnier and more understanding than you and thus have the more fulfilling life she deserves. Instead she's stuck with the likes of you; the very definition of imperfection. Thus you owe her everything, and much more besides, because you don't have enough to give her to ever make it even. The mere fact that she tolerates you at all is the proof of her exceptional magnanimity and grace.

​@@theofficialultimakchannel3562 True LOL, women can't tolerate any shortcomings in their husbands while being completely oblivious to their own shortcomings in the relationship. Infact if you tell her her own shortcomings then you're a misogynistic intolerant fool and it becomes a shortcoming in your own nature. There's no winning over women.

@@captainfatbat9557 Its easy, it's always about power... not equality... Why don't you think women are ever demanding equality in jobs like oil rig workers, or ditch diggers? Only positions of power.

I'm a good reader. And it was heartfelt ❤️

so respectful.😄 As you should!! (My girlfriend was reading along over my shoulder. She just left.)

Ut seems the seminars a present

S S maybe the fact that it as “meathole” addiction was the problem in the first place?!? If you see a woman as that, and that only...that myopic approach will automatically make you see any peripheral parts seem annoying, pointless or “dramatic”. Women’s wiring and processing isn’t something they chose, just as much as their external appeal... it’s how they are made. You’re missing the biggest opportunity of all... it’s like having a car body without the engine and thinking it should work. Sure, the way a man thinks and views the world may have validity...but by themselves the views are incomplete... it’s like going to the beach and there’s no ocean, only sand. It’s like your favorite recipe with no spices, it totally alters the outcome. You are missing the point. Women aren’t on earth to serve and meet your every need, if that’s what you believe..than no wonder you’re MGTOW. It’s a warped paradigm and you’ve given up in futility. If you adjust to reality, you have a better chance of having actual connection and relationship with someone who respects and admires you.. You have to see the benefit of a woman outside of a meat hole🙄 Just like a woman who is a gold digger would need to change her messed up view and see a man as more than a $$. Both sides are toxic and on the same coin. Each of the genders is here to grow, learn, evolve and see DIFFERENT than they already do. A good partner can mirror the things we need to change and be better... if you just are looking for someone to be a version of you, agreeing always and doing only what you want...that’s not a relationship. Would you want someone like that? I imagine not. I find many who are MGTOW, are very empathy deficient and tend to believe false narratives about themselves and women. They aren’t seeing the big wake up calls to change themselves and instead go the coward road of blaming women (for being women) and avoiding their true deep desires and wall off and say MGTOW... I hope you healing and true insight into yourself and women...

How would you read something what you cannot understand at all ? Imagine reading Chinese poem or something like that.

Get rid of that crazy making biotch right now. If you don't, you'll regret it in the future. Mine did that and now I'm suffering in a way that is unsustainable

That's called gas lighting.

Self fulfilling prophecy

Welcome to having a gf.

Could this be reverse engineered? You are looking very horny.

I LOST IT on that line!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

As in, you just have to wait her molecules fall prey to entropy and she dies? Sounds reasonable.

Everyday Bodybuilding Fuckin’ Aye right, it is. I’m a Christian, if it isn’t against the laws of physics and nature, I can’t have faith in it. I love baby Jesus, FOOTBALL from AMERICA, wearing 8” stilettos when no one is watching... Wearing 8” stilettos while no one is watching!?

Wait... Poop? 🤔

I’m confused...

Wrong. I'm sure he was cussing up a storm inside his head while talking to his wife lol

Wrong. You seriously need to watch some George Carlin...

I agree! I love it!

It is nice ot to have cuss words in it. Sounds as if they have more intelligence.

@@everydayliving1975 no not really: case in point jimmy Carr

Makes eye contact 🧐

Chris White yeah hahaha that’s the part that made me laugh hardest haha

Least he didn't read that part on accident

@johnny cash Nice and new they are too.

That part got me, too!

Yup.

Sis Awebit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yes. Yes he is

If a man washes a dish a nobody is around to see it, did it happen?

MrMagnum7220 nope, we’re still wrong

Being single is great and every relationship proves it

Watch "Married With Children " also.

@@CustardBustard Not every relationship proves that, dude. Don't dismantle everything.

@@irondasgr Just a bit of harsh banter but yknow what fair enough

@@irondasgr Given enough time - yes - every relationship.

Are you a trap or just a lot of make up? You're hot, just asking though

@None Of your Business lol it's just honest

@None Of your Business it was perfect comedic timing.

@None Of your Business that's not rude, in today's world, who the fuck knows anymore. Would you have preferred him to assume or politely ask? Your move

Love yoy Heather!!

You just admitted that you're putting up with stuff you don't agree with, that doesn't sound like "love" to me.

@@lukeaustin4465 I was being sarcastic...

@@mysterydude1 It's hard to detect sarcasm on a KZfaq comment.

@@lukeaustin4465 not if you have half a brain lol

Best response LOL

😂 I'm so happy you survived.

No no, the hysterical writers did NOT approve the defeated sigh prior to reading the scripts. You also have to enjoy doing it!

Feel you bro

Lol

Safe play!

Don't! Get a manscript quick!

bruh

👍🤣🤣🤣

I always said it is not a sale if you do not need it. Never worked.

😂

LMAO

@@metaljacket8128 here we all are going on about covid but the elephant in the room is just how messed up women are

I always get into more trouble being logical than having sex with my GF!

@@babkeebabkus8177 Meanwhile, here in Australia, we have two States controlled by two women where the borders back up to each other! 🤣🤣🤣

Wow

If a woman forgets to put the seat back up for you, YOIR ass does NOT fall into the water in the middle of the night. JS

@@kimberlywarren6102 Haha that's true. Although once my wife put the cover all the way down and I shit on a closed toilet. So, that's her fault of course.

Having had daughters it is actually important to try and remember to keep the seat ring down because their young minds (let's say like a potty trained to 7 year old and even older) may not always remember to pull the ring down before they sit on the potty and then their privates fall into the dirty toilet water. As we all know females have exposed mucus membranes at their privates which would make getting an infection from that toilet water too easy. Other wise yeah grown women should be just as responsible to remember to put the ring up as men should remember to put it down. Ya know, a mutual respect thing. Although if a man really has it going on shouldn't he be able to aim it just right and therefore not need to worry about putting the ring up? ;) This is one of my favorite JP videos. I totally love the humor in it.

I pee sitting down. Less effort, more comfort, no mess. I'm a dude, btw. Try it. You may like it. After all, you don't sh!t standing up, do ya?

So is my mother that’s why my father divorced her and never looked back.

A BAG of confusion, eh? Nice touch! LOL

Same.

a definate bag of something huh?

I guess "bag of confusion" is still a step-up from "old-bag".

Easy, you just tell her she looks fatter than when you first got together.

@@jamesbishop3898 Yeah sounds like a good idea... haha 😁

Here try this, “Obviously, this is just a joke, I thought you might find it funny. However, I didn’t account for the fact that your sense of humor is different from mine. I’m sorry.” Hope it works.

@@89thaharmaiiioptreshenanig3 "Are you saying I got NO sense of humour?!" and now you got yourself cornered my friend...

Tony_security dang what now

I wanted him to look up from the last script after reading it, look straight into the camera and say "Kill me".

He is actually showing us what we should be doing in our spare time on occasion. If we were to do this in real life, it would never work. Sincerely, a married dude of 7+ years Who has done it this way to prove a point.

@@bryceharney5960 I'm guessing that any woman would work out that if you said exactly what she wanted to hear, you were actually taking the piss, so you just can't win (except by being single, like me, or by finding a woman with self awareness and a sense of humour about themselves, like JP).

the funny thing is thath she is about to cheat on him with an asshole

And how he keeps bringing out a piece of paper each conversation lol

It was clearly your eye's fault. Make sure your eyes do better.

My wife: “does this dress make me look fat?” Me: “No, the fact that you overeat, don't exercise and are 25 kilos overweight is what makes you look fat. The dress is fine."

Wow! High Score!

@@nitehawk9270 I am not saying my wife is fat, but she came to me the other day, wearing a dress she just found in the closet that she had newer seen before... it was our family tent! :-)

@@friedmule5403 That is too much. Also I know your wife's best friend so have just tagged you with this post. Good luck buddy!

Me giving a presentation to class

The pauses are probably scripted as well, or should be...! It'd be even funnier if J.P. accidently read out "Pause for five seconds here, then briefly make eye contact before resuming reading aloud".

😂😂😂 This is the funniest video.

😂😂😂

goddess

Slap

Lol get that couch ready

"... especially knowing that it cost $300"

💀

When I was younger, I actually thought that! (That my nee hair would change things for the better). But it did😁

Yes. He is completely soul-destroyed, totally defeated, and beaten down to the point that he almost believes what he is saying.

robots will replace us one day...I can see it.

Like he has a gun to his head.