I have a very controlling and emotionally immature mom, and I simply refuse to be that way towards my little daughter. I pray the wisdom in this sermon stays at the forefront of my heart and mind as my daughter grows up!

My mother actually chastized me and tried to guilt trip me for volunteering at a homeless shelter on Christmas. Well into my 50’s at the time. Our kids are grown and my husband was working. Believe them when they show who they are.

This made me look at why I’m having issues with my adult daughter. I needed this message. Thank you.

I was that kid. But not because I was over parented, quite the opposite. I was neglected and abused. Wasn't until I woke up to Jesus, at 41, that I found out my personality. Which is in Christ.

Finally a Christian voice of reason on this topic, had to make the decision to leave half my family without contact 9 years ago. It was the best decision I ever made, but I had to leave most of our shared acquaintances too bc it was an unpopular decision at the time. Thank you for doing these videos and leading people out of the darkness in their own families.

The story about the thirty something year old son is absolutely sad. His mother probably had NPD and conditioned him to be that way and he didn't even realize it. Now he probably have codependency. It is a horrible, viscious, and devastating pattern that the enemy have been passing through family for years. But JESUS IS BREAKING THAT IN THIS SEASON IN THE MIGHTY AND MATCHLESS NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. ❤❤❤

The marriage covenant begins by leaving your parents. This includes emotionally. Children with father/mother wounds can end up like the woman at the well, using partners to get their unmet childhood needs met, and ruining the relationship. 'Even a good person makes a bad Jesus' - Mark Driscoll

Parents interfere with their Childrens freewill to make their own choices just because they don't like what makes them happy.

Its very sermon that hits home, thank you Pastor Mark. I'm a daughter of a very controlling mom with an absent dad and caused me to marry a person like her as well but the Lord is working in my marriage till this day its still a bit difficult. But God is good He will finish what he has started♥️

I’m very annoyed of the controlling crap. I lived on my own for over 13 years then moved back during covid and haven’t been able to get back to moving out on my own again even though I own my own house but can’t live there. And they control everything I do and ask me where I am 24/7. They never had to ask me when I lived on my own for 13 years. And now that I’m in my late 30s everything I do is their business for no freaking reason. What do I do?

I have never heard a pastor teach on this. It is really eye opening.

Thank you pastor for this bold message. Most pastors stick with “you must obey your parents no matter what “ sermons. I’m going through a divorce largely because he never changed his priorities. I was about 7th on the totem pole. He cheated on me and his parents welcomed the mistress!! It gets worse. My mother who has tried to control me spent time with my husband behind my back. My mother feels she did nothing wrong and still wants to control. Unfortunately I’m going to have to get a restraining order against my mother.

Eye opener. I love my kid so much and raised him out of fear and tried my best to protect him from the evil of the world. 32 years old and for years Ive always been like, dont do this bc this could happen. I've spent so many years giving instructions up until his grown years that i havent even learned how to have an adult conversation with him. God forgive him. He still loves his mom so very much. God forgive me for over parenting and thank god in spite of, he has always been independent, but I always just wanted to take care of him. He will be married soon and I wish him well. We will look for a suit for him for his big day. Thank you God for allowing me another day to get it right

I’m a survivor of emotional and psychological abuse and I have been feeling this way. How can I cope with feeling insecure about myself. God bless you and your family and be safe.

It’s worse when you have to temporarily live with them and you go through this and try to get help and nobody believes you especially with dealing with a mother, fathers there’s usually wayyy more resources but mothers they expect you to brush it under the rug and say oh that’s your mother and you their adult child has to mentally suffer to keep the peace so you want randomly end up homeless It’s hard at times

God help me, I'm living with family (long story) , need to move away asap, someone please pray 4 me

I get so uncomfortable and nervous when my mother calls. She calls me often and sometimes 4 times a day (though I'll only answer once) After years of nerves, Iv broken and can't pretend this works anymore. Was gona take time to myself then tell her but after watching this, I'm going to pray about it and ask God. 🙏🏾♥️. I'm 29 btw . Unmarried Wonderful sermon

Thanks for a great sermon… I married a man who’s a mamas boy. He abandoned me and our 6 months old baby daughter and went to live with his controlling mother. I tried everything to have family but all my affords were useless 😢. I gave up and let him go. It’s 18 years after and he still lives with mom. The definition of mamas boy is- immature, irresponsible father, husband. Mature man- responsible for kids, wife and all family members . I learned the hard way 😢😢

Sounds like my mom and I am almost 55. She is so controlling. If you defend yourself you are wrong.

We're going thru this with my mother now that my dad has died. She has always been very controlling and critical especially hard on me. I was the middle child and the only single parent raising 3 kids on my own. She often stayed with me and it created long bouts of sadness and depression for me. My family didn't believe me until mom went to live with my sister, now finally they believes me, very hard to navigate because she was abused by my dad so much, so hard to deal with...

Thank you, Pastor Mark!!! This message hit home and your message on "father" wounds. So relevant.

I'm currently living in my in-law's household. She always taking my wife's time that supposed to be for me and my son. She dictates my wife what to do and do not. Few years back before we moved here, my wife always with me specially on Sunday service. We were so happy, Now she doesn't want to come with me, because her Devoted Catholic mom tells her not to go with me because of being protestant, there's more.

I wonder what Christmas of 2024 is gonna look like. I’m saying this because I’m currently in a situation rn with my mother who is absolutely controlling and wants her plans to be in set then my own (She wants a house for us to live in, I want my own place for myself). So as I’m typing this I’m about to work next week for a dealership and I’m absolutely grateful for it, it gives me an opportunity to finally get a chance to move out before the middle of April once I have everything settled in a financial manner. And I know she’s going to freak out once I tell her, that is when I’m moved already in my own place. But for now, I need to speak and continue to vent to the lord himself. I’m grateful for god for the opportunity I have received. As I will always cherish it. With that being said, I hope to update you all when Christmas of 2024 arrives. If not, just know I tried. 👍

Absolute best sermon I have ever heard especially on this topic and coming from a pastor. Pastor Mark has changed my life so much since I started listening to him about 6 months ago! I grew up in a “Christian home” and went to Christian schools. Let me tell you they where all anything but Christian, so my views where always very flawed! I have a mother like this, she’s very extreme and a covert narcissist, my dad unfortunately knows how wrong she is and how she acts but never ever says anything about the abuse she throws out to me and my sister, my dad actually shuts down and stops talking to me if I put up boundaries with my mom, it’s very painful. I’m 42 by the way and divorced, I’m in a great relationship now and hearing this sermon will help my relationship and my future relationships with my boys. Thank you so much pastor Mark you have truly helped me and helped restore my true Christian faith! Thank you! Bless you and your wonderful family!💛

Years ago, I knew a man in my congregation in his late fifties who despite living on his own was a nervous wreck, a spendthrift, complained all the time, worked a dead-end job and was estranged from his ex-wife (after she cheated on him years earlier for obvious reasons) and children. He was also obsessed with religion and conspiracy theories and would rarely talk about anything else. He also leered at and sometimes hit on younger women, some of whom where young enough to be his daughters. Others in the church put up with him out of a sense of Christian duty but otherwise kept their distance. As it turns out, he had an extremely controlling mother who still manipulated him even when she was on death's door in a nursing home. I enjoy a good redemption story as much as the next guy, but let's be realistic: if you can't navigate the vicissitudes of adulthood by a certain age, then you never will, and your life will never get better. The sad part is that it has so much to do with how you're raised, which is something over which no one has any control.

me and my siblings have been controlled our whole lives. it comes to a point to where we tense up or get quiet when our dad steps in the room and that’s NOT normal! as a kid i felt i couldn’t make my own choices .. like simple choices without feeling shamed or doubted. It’s crucial for a child to develop decision making skills and learn from mistakes or else they will move in fear and won’t know how to function without their parents approval.even now as a young adult my parents still want to control my decisions. it really hurts me bc i want to move to a different state mind you i have my money saved, I have my own car that i bought, I have a certificate for the industry i want to be in and the state i want to go to has more opportunities for me. Also i plan on having a source of income during the whole process. my dad said he would only support me if I move out the way he wants me to move and wait how long he wants me to wait..but i can’t bc i feel ready mentally, emotionally, spiritually and i already have a plan. as a young adult i feel my decision is not respected and I’m constantly drained from explaining myself. I also have been emotionally manipulated, verbally abused as a child, gaslighted and guilt tripped by both parents. it’s wayyyy more trauma that should be added but that would be too much to type .it hurts me bc they are trying to make me feel like I’m being flip and selfish but i feel miserable in that house or even living in the same state as them. I feel im making the right choice for myself but ik they won’t support me BUT on the bright side i have supportive and loving family in the state that i want to move to so as long as i have them that’s all that matters :( but i don’t mind hearing you guys advice

What a massively great biblical lesson!!!!

I HAVE SEEN the best kids come from broken homes time after time,because of God I am sure❤ .I have seen kids from great homes 🏡 turn out to be drug addicted thugs,intitled brats, .I believe God knows who we are before he formed us,as God said 🙏 Jacob I loved,Essau I hated! I believe still God leads and guides and we can live good ,quiet pure lives surrounded by evil,which atcthis point in Gods Timeclock,we certainlyvsee hear observe the decline of morality.We never give up praying for our lost children,but I have come to find that we all make our own way in this world, never helps to blame parents .For we are threw Jesus,overcomers and 🙌 😇 🙏

Yeah, crying through several parts. But I thank the Lord that you are talking about things like this and bringing them out of the closet, so to speak. Even to those of us that know we have a problem, but try to stuff it and so not really deal with it, which prevents growth and maturity in Christ. Please continue just this way in your ministry. I so appreciate your openness and honesty. There’s not a lot of instruction like this available. Blessings to you, your family, and your church family.

Please pray for me, I’ve been homeschooled and sheltered, I have super controlling parents and i wanna move out, I just have no idea how…

Godly counsel from elders and parents is vital for young adults

I am going through this right now and I am willing to fix the Mistake I have made and trying to be in a healthy relationship with my family and the family I do and have I hope something good will come in my way

This sermon is right on point very true great pastor.

A much needed sermon

Such a wonderful teaching ❤ God bless you Pastor

my "parents" (enemies) bring control freak to a whole nother level

This is so helpful

Compared to how bad it could be, I'm thankful God is overcoming the little for me. Yet, the tiniest of corruption in family (with no repentance/reconciliation) has no room in the kingdom of God. I take this situation one day at a time!

My mom controls me like I am very young boy she doesn't give time to make my own decision as until I start feeling like I am worthless and sometimes I need just to sacrifice myself and I get confused. I hope I will be not be a bad father to my kids. I hope God will give me wisdom.

He is right about the sisters being fellow conspirators to their father Laban. I found myself in similar dynamic / situation with my inlaws. We now have 4 kids & 18 yrs later finally recovering from being so enmeshed. My husband is like Jacob that didn’t have agency. He acted so weird & unprofessional at work (even flirty) but turns out toxic systems make him fawn. He survived the family system that way & when a similar system is around he will “act” the same way. In psychology they call them the flying monkeys to the narc. His mom is the narc and hubby will teeter totter between flying monkey or scapegoat. In order to be the scapegoat he will manipulate to be promoted to flying monkey. Pls pray for us, I am so drained. Standing in the gap to make sure my kids do not turn into toxic individuals themselves. Ultimatums do not work for them because they don’t see the hold of systems in their mindset.

Fantastic sermon!!

This is such a great message. My MIL divorced my husband and I. She was always involved in everything since day one. I felt as if he was married to her and not me. She ruined everything through control manipulation, and narcissistic behavior tactics to steer my husband further and further away from our marriage. Eventually that’s exactly what happened she disowned him for moving with me and our children and his inheritance if he stayed married to me, he chose his inheritance and his mother destroying our whole family and now it started with our children

Very good speech,damn i love this very much

This is my mothers side of the family . I got married & LEFT home after college. My younger brother left college & moved BAck home. Still not married.

Samoan parents need to listen to this.

My mother was extremely controlling I walked on egg shells my whole life trying to make sure she didn't blow up, I'm almost positive she is bipolar but she would never dare go see someone and admit she has a problem. She would absolutely rage over the smallest things and throw things, break things, yell, slam doors so hard that the house shook, she absolutely traumatized my father and my sister and both of them suffered from alcoholism because of it. They raised me in the most watered down lukewarm church ever and they never read their bible. Neither of them were christ like and I had to read the bible on my own to find out the truth. I have complex ptsd due to the child abuse and am extremely hypervigilant because of it and I have serious adhd symptoms and who knows what else is wrong with me. My whole life my parents told me I was the problem and never showed me love or affection, I think my mom has an evil spirit living inside of her and it caused everyone in my family serious pain and suffering and now I am struggling with my faith because of all that was done to me and not being told the truth about who God is and what he says in his word. My dad said that he started to read Genesis when my parents almost got divorced. My parents think that reading the bible is optional as a christian and I am so upset that they raised me this way.

She molded him like that and killed his self. Overbearing parents kill the adult in a son and daughter

I don't know what's the fear of allowing kids to be free when they're adults? I just don't understand why it's a stigma nowadays.

How does this apply to a disabled man, who cannot live on his own and his parents are controlling?

(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own Terrible marriage seem to work

They become same , and instead of having friends ; they wish to Dominate . And so ; the the ⭕ grows ...

My family tried to have me arrested when i showed up to my baby sisters funeral....the nice officer told my surving sister "she's clean and NO"

I'm a wife and a mother to my lovely daughter, I am dealing with controlling my father - in - law. He controlled over marriage life.

I got so much wisdom out of this sermon. But I have a few questions regarding my personal situation. I am an adult daughter who lives states away. I pay my own bills and everything. My parents really try to control my life. Honestly, most of my life, they have been controlling. How to I manage this? Especially, in a dating.

Do grown up men and women still have to obey their parents or parent?

Love how funny it is too

What about when parents have controlling adult children?

My mother was very controlling. She wanted me to stick around pay the bills. She wanted to use my car because she didn't want to buy one and her car was old and needed to be replaced and when I put my foot down and said enough's enough I can't even use the car that I'm paying for. Her response was fine. I'll just sell everything and live on the street. Well I'm early 20s. I don't want my mom to live on the street but I eventually do move away but she was manipulative and she tried to get others involved and the reason I know this was I constantly got calls from people telling me I should move back in and take care of my mother. Why am I not taking care of my mother getting chewed out by several people? And one of them even saying that I should leave my wife and kids quit my job move in and take care of my mom and when I told him I'm not leaving my wife I'm not quitting my job. I'm not leaving my home. His response was it's your mother. You take care of her like I've tried my best. I'm not moving back to a town I don't want to live in and I'm not moving in with her house. So this was something that went on until she moved in with me and then all of them manipulation and stuff came to an end. Me and my mother had a very good last several years of her life but for the most part that's what I had to deal with. It was just me. My brother also had to deal with it too

I am 30 and suffering from this. But tied to family business that doesn’t want to hire people so i am tied. Need a strategy to separate myself

MAN, if this ain’t some truth! My ex’s mom… phew! This message just about describes her to a T!

Keep in mind, situation like you experienced at SportClips could have been a special needs son. That may be why he was driven or why she opposed spending money unnecessarily. Possible. If so, mom could have handled it better to encourage more independence. Your main point stands and I agree with it. Just worth noting that often people interpret what they see with the lens of only what they know.

How many times have I felt like I was a mistake, because of the way my parents (who've been divorced since March 1984; my mother actually cheated on my dad in December 1983 because she refused to wait for the divorce to be finalized! And why the divorce? Because, I believe, in part because my dad refused to kiss her... you know.) treated and raised me. Also because of being molested at a 6 and bullied ever since SECOND GRADE! Believe it or not, because I saw this song listed in the closing credits of the wonderful Tom Hanks film about Mr. Fred Rogers "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" called "I Am a Mistake" I looked it up on KZfaq, ignored the fact that it was Daniel the tiger puppet singing to Lady Elaine and just listened to the words. I actually cried like a baby because I felt the same way. Look it up and listen for yourself, and you'll see what I mean.

Wow my name is Jacob to and I deal with a similar situation

I don't get it I don't want 2 deal with my mom no more

"When Jacob laid eyes on his cousin, flexed for her, then kissed her." Kissing cousins.

I had issues going in that direction too, let's put it like that. It wasn't that me old Mum RIP was purposefully controlling, forcefully imposing her will or abusive...or no, wait, the latter in homeopathic doses she was...it was just, she wasn't really capable of letting go of her children when they were no longer children. I was born one of 11, and my tough luck of all those was that as a youth I let my curriculum vitae go against the wall somewhat. Which resulted in being financially able to leave the parents' home only at 28...so I received the full dose of the above described. Somehow thanks to Yeshuah I did find my way to put the most aching foot down when needed, but she wasn't accustomed to such, which meant things went tough between us two. The good thing was, it wasn't too long after I did move out that God led me to move to another city in another part of the country, which was, I can only say, his sheer mercy...!

That's reversal for myself

How do you know Rachel wasn't locked away until after Jacob found Leah? I always thought she loved Jacob too...

Amen

And what about the other way around, since she’s dated a narcissist?

Oh. I totally do not have a crush on someone who is a bit too close with his... --- Pray for us plz. Also, thank you so much for making it somewhat funny

I give Elese and Gregory their space. But, as youg children they have boundaries.

My dad likes to control me with my own money cause I draw a check yet my mom is supposed to but yet he control me over everything

My mom is a toxic covert narcissist who thrives on manipulation. I've tried everything with her.. Everything. She still wants to control my life. I never learnt to make any good decision, she always decided everything for me. Would I be wrong to want her completely out of my life?

22:03 My friend was named Lucifer, the parents named her Lucifer because they find that name in the bible without really finding out who Lucifer was.

So sad and so true .

I’m 39 years old, have 2 failed marriages one by wrong choice… now I’m courting someone else who God has sent to me through two prophecies… she had hers I had mine from two different prophets… now my mum won’t say hello to her and won’t accept my decision for marriage.. always throw a negative spanner in the works. Always throws my past in my face.. if I don’t go back to my first wife no other women can be accepted… I’m embarrassed as my wife to be family accepted me..

there is no excuse for abuse .

there is no healing from abusive parents . because If people who abuse and no matter what the abuse is , abuse is abuse , and as I was saying, that if those people who abuse another if they know how to behave in public than they know how to behave in private , and it isn't a sickness nor is it an illness because that is just an excuse. and it is no laughing matter. '' To play God is to believe you have control over life and death , which is impossible . ''

Re the haircut story.. as a former hairdresser, you have no idea how common that is. I never had a middle aged man come in with mommy but college aged sons (it's always the sons) were not uncommon. And all I have to say still is...cut the cord. It's ok to let your baby go and decide on their own haircut 🤦🏻‍♀️

Controlling, toxic, parents that don’t take care of their things are a pain in the ass!!!

can you do a podcast on "when kids are Controlling parents"

It's interesting how people that have been to the kingdom say that God isn't in control.

That's a red flag

Very (genuinely) interested to hear what’s considered a controlling parent by the man who excommunicated an entire family - and hen sent his private security detail to monitor them - after their teenage son and Mark’s teenage daughter were interested in each other.

I always thought for Jacob to miss the fact that he had totally consummated the marriage with another woman he had to be totally lit the night before. He was drunk, probably high on whatever grass they had in those days. By the time he was done his brain was a raisin. 😅

I subscribed, but then unsubscribed because I couldn’t keep up with how fast he was talking. I’m from Scotland so talking fast is my forte too, but with this type of story telling, you need to give people a moment to take the information in. He doesn’t do that. It’s a shame as he’s so watchable in every other way x

I love this. I liked it. But I’d be more likely to subscribe if we didn’t mention how negative COVID is lol. Almost seems political.

Pastor, haven’t you ever read the Bible verse: Jacob, I loved, but he saw I hated? God said that he really liked whatever it was about Jacob and that he really disliked whatever it was about Esau. You’re almost making Esau like the moral example. For somebody who is so girly and wimpy he sure lifted that heavy stone and went in for the kiss pretty fast. he may have stayed at home, but maybe they had a gym in the house? You never know. Abraham and Isaac were wealthy men. They just used stones and calisthenics or something. I know you’re trying to make a betrayal of Esau and Jacob, but maybe you’re taking Jacob beyond where he really was as a naïve person.

I'm 42 (almost 43) and single by choice. Childhood decision. Why? 1) My mother is selfish, uncaring, manipulative (quite possibly a sociopath), cares more about her friends than her family, has been married 5 times (and divorced 5 times), all to men just like her...(Except for the obvious similarity, she has nothing in common with the Samaritan woman at the well) My half-sister worships Satan and is involved with witchcraft and the like. 2) My dad is also selfish, uncaring, cares more about his FIFTH wife than he does me... You know, I'm glad I got saved back in 2001 and let God take over as my Father. I'm well aware of how kids can, as adults, make the same mistakes their parents did. But I refuse to go down that road, so I'm intentionally waiting until both parents pass away, and then until God blessed me with a woman who also loves Jesus Christ as much as or more than I do. If you think this is wrong, you might want to read all of Ezekiel 18. If by some miracle they get saved, repent of all their sins, and are Godly sorry for the way they treated me all my life (and not just sorry they got caught), great. But if not, it's on them. Yes, I tried to share the Gospel with them, but they've rejected it, thinking they're good enough to get to heaven. So I have no choice but to wash my hands of their sick, sinful behavior.

Never again

I give up-what?? 🤪

Mark Driscoll, a true expert on abusive, controlling relationships because he's never had any relationship where he wasn't in control of all around him.

Parents also think it’s their duty to steer their children in the right direction

The opposite can be true when an adult child tries to control everything an elderly parent tries to do. No senility or absence of ability to make their own decisions. The controlling borders on abuse to the point of telling them they are to old to do anything! This parents life will be shortened because they will lose the will to live….😢

They stay emotional adolescents Cant outgrow Mommy and live at home in their childhood bedroom Lol Smh I see it all the time with even acquaintances in their 40s😅

When grown son's of controlling mothers get married their wives end up like me. The daughter in law of the overly controlling, dominant, jealous mother in law who refuses to let go and release her son to wife and marriage. These guys are conditioned from childhood to obey their mothers and do their bidding. Then they grow up and become men, but their mothes still treat them like children. They compete with their son's wives for "first place" and cause so many problems. Mothers: Please back off and allow your son's to become strong independent men. They are not yours to keep for life. If you raise them well and give them respect and space to be their own person, you will never lose them. Make yourself a pleasure to be around. Not a thorn in his side. You don't need to buy him underwear anymore. You don't need to send him packages of dental floss or shaving cream. This is insulting to me as his wife. I've got this. You can back off now and enjoy your own life. Let us enjoy ours without your micromanaging and interference. It's infuriating.

That adult child at the barber could have a hidden disability (there are many), and the mother could be at the end of her rope with the financial and personal responsibilities of providing care for a disabled child on a low income. But judge a stranger instead of sincerely praying for them. That'll help. Real manly.

It's not funny to make fun of mentally challenged people

Maybe the 30 year old had a mental condition.