How to Stop a Toddler from Throwing Things and Hitting

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How to Stop a Toddler from Throwing Things and Hitting | Solving Problem Behaviors

Рет қаралды 28,640

Күн бұрын

Dr Mary Barbera discusses how to the solve problem behavior of hitting and throwing in toddlers
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You’re still a great parent or even a great professional even when things don’t go perfectly every time. Today Rachel Smith, the Program Director for Turn Autism Around programs, joins me for her second time on the show. We are discussing her three-year old son Everett and problem behaviors of throwing and hitting he started exhibiting when visiting my house and around mom.
When I discuss problem behaviors I really talk the most about prevention. But what happens when you’re in the thick of a problem behavior moment? This can be challenging for professionals and even the most informed parents, because safety and de-escalation become a priority. Many times the attention we divert to throwing, hitting, or other problem behaviors becomes a big reinforcement. In the case of Everett, who does not have autism, he has a new baby brother and is heavily reinforced by direct attention from mom. Additionally, Rachel was allowing Everett to bring his toys into places with him, in the case of this behavior these toys became weapons. When a child brings toys for comfort, their hands are occupied with them and they are in control of these items which is another reinforcer for problem behavior.
See the show notes to this podcast episode here:
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You'll Learn:
- How to stop throwing and hitting behavior.
- How to stop problem behaviors.
- How to stop reinforcing problem behaviors.
- Why you should remove attention during problem behaviors.
- What are simple triggers for problem behavior?
- Why good parents and good professionals still struggle with problem behavior.
- What are interventions for attention seeking behavior?
If you enjoyed this video on problem behaviors in kids, be sure to subscribe to the channel, like this video and visit my website below. If you have more questions, leave them down in the comments section, and I will do my best to answer you. Thanks for watching today's video about problem behavior, and let's #turnautismaround together!
Interested in learning more about teaching a child with autism, special needs parenting, or other autism and special needs topics in the mental health in children niche?
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Dr. Mary Barbera. I fell into the autism world as an autism mom in 1999 when her first-born son, Lucas, was diagnosed with autism. Since then, she became a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst and best-selling author of The Verbal Behavior Approach. Since 2015, she’s created 3 autism online courses based on applied behavior analysis for professionals and "gung-ho" parents. Whether you’re looking for autism parenting strategies, working with development delays in children, or in search of autism help for professionals, I can encourage you to subscribe to the channel and join me on my journey. I’ll be providing weekly autism resources that you don’t want to miss.
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Пікірлер: 66

@pic5637 7 ай бұрын

I sent this video to my wife and we both watched it. We started doing these tips and after 3 days, my two year old has improved a lot. Actually, my wife and I have improved a lot. We’re not stressed out, we’re not feeling frustrated, if anything, as soon as our two year does something we look at each other and try to remember what your video suggests to do. We’re on day 5 and we’re so grateful. Thanks for sharing.

@marybarbera 7 ай бұрын

I'm so happy this video helped you! If you're looking for more resources, visit MaryBarbera.com/links-yt

@andreasMou123 Жыл бұрын

28:20 is what you came here for.

@mrym.a6640 7 ай бұрын

Thanks

@Gigi.973 6 ай бұрын

Thank you!!!

@T0US8687 5 ай бұрын

Where’s the hitting part

@epic_rshutterbug9226 Ай бұрын

Fukn he'll thank you!!@

@lanabear2707 6 ай бұрын

1. Be in control of the extra items in the area so they don’t become accessible objects to throw. 2. Ignore the behaviour you don’t want 3. Don’t use threats or bribes - don’t use “I’m sorry” 4. Use a clear slate - don’t revisit the poor behaviour by talking about it 5. Social stories are to much focus on negative situations 6. When the kids are calm - sit them down and set new ground rules - we can’t hit people and we can’t throw things. If you do this then we will remind you once not to hit or throw. If you throw we will take the items out of your hands. We won’t talk to you again until you stop the behaviour. (It only takes a few minutes for them to calm down) As soon as they relax - the slate is clean and the energy is positive and vibrant.

@mariagassner7845 2 жыл бұрын

This was so fantastic. I am sharing with my staff this September and my clients' families as well! Thank you. I love that you start with, "you are a good mom!"

@marybarbera 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for listening/watching and for your support! I'm happy that you found this helpful.

@angelicaromero1674 Жыл бұрын

Wow thank you so much! My twins both have cerebral palsy with behavioral issues. This is really great information. We do have a behavioral therapist that we’ve just started with. This is so simplified. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

@aneesahthequeen 2 жыл бұрын

😍😍❤️❤️💙💙My daughter always hit when she doesn’t get her way right away! If she don’t hit us she will slam and throw things down!?? So thanks for sharing advice!❤️

@melisaoffice7194 Жыл бұрын

same here!

@momshie_gi1075 9 ай бұрын

Same here😞

@angelawatkins6772 5 ай бұрын

Sameeee it's miserable no peace rarely :/

@kathymills9572 2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Mary. Shared with my daughter who has 3 daughters under four. Great info for all parents!❤️

@marybarbera 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for watching and sharing!

@alessiomonti5634 Жыл бұрын

Nice video :) Looks like a good technique when you have language, but what about younger toddlers? Do you have any tipa on that? :)

@annamaru7577 2 ай бұрын

My grandson hits with open hand when he gets exited ( usually while watching kids videos on his iPad) he throws toys only while playing not on an aggressive way. He throws tantrums or wines when he wants something or gets frustrated. I will definitely will implement this technique.

@marybarbera 2 ай бұрын

Good luck! Also make sure to check out the turn tantrums around mini courses at turntantrumsaround.com

@The_Mim 2 жыл бұрын

Our 4 year old definitely likes throwing stuff. Especially if he's angry or upset.

@marybarbera 2 жыл бұрын

My online courses can really help you prevent these behaviors. Join me for a free workshop for more info: www.marybarbera.com/workshops.

@Kristin_MommyBreakdown Жыл бұрын

My friend is having trouble with this. Sending it to her. Thanks!!

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

She's lucky to have you!

@Researchonly88 3 ай бұрын

But if I take what’s in his hand he’ll just grab something else… literally anything. Should I hold his hands?

@audreyduggan5567 2 жыл бұрын

I so appreciate this video, its so honest and real and I think we have all had moments like this with our kiddies. Rachels willingness to share is so helpful. We don't get it right all the time but with reflection can do better the next time.

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

Very well said! Thank you :)

@nadirrasvan4594 3 ай бұрын

Just wanted to thank you for those precious words I just started implementing this with my 2 yo kid and I have seen an immediate improvement and this actually made me so much excited to continue following this and first time to see my wife after implementing this too is a stress free really thank you so much 🙏🙏

@marybarbera 3 ай бұрын

Great! To learn more attend a 💻 free workshop to help young children increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@vzlanoxvida 5 ай бұрын

My 2 1/2 year old is hitting (us) when he doesn’t get his way. In this case, what do we do immediately, or “take way”, since he doesn’t technically have an object on his hands? What is the immediate consequence? Thanks in advance

@speechspot3758 Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for sharing this info, I am an SLP who works in a classroom full of preschoolers. Do you have suggestions for this behavior in this environment particularly throwing when there are toys that are being played with everywhere around the room and it is difficult to eliminate those opportunities for throwing.

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

When we have problem behaviors like this, it's important to assess the whole picture of what's going on with the child. I can help you with this in my online Toddler course. For more information, join me for a free online workshop at www.marybarbera.com/workshops.

@florentinac.2651 Жыл бұрын

Hi. About throwing..can it be also caused by VISUAL stimming or AUDITORY stimming? How should a kindergarden teacher react to a verbal child of 5 years old autistic,who is throwing things ,as a play game,during activities? When can we speak about this kind of behavior as one of oppositional one-adhd type??If he do not stop after a long time? Thank you so much.Blessings !

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

I would suggest joining a course to help: MaryBarbera.com/courses

@T0US8687 5 ай бұрын

My 18 month old has been hitting a lot in playful matters, but he also hits or throw things when his bigger brother or sister stops him from doing something

@moneyparhar 10 ай бұрын

We have our 3 year old turning 4 in November. He is in pre K. He hit other kids in class. We r tired of that. We keep telling him not to do. He says he will not do it again but he does it again. Teacher says he just hit random. Sometimes for no reason. We feel helpless. Can u pls help.

@marybarbera 9 ай бұрын

You can take a free online assessment and go from there. Usually this is followed by attending a free workshop. MaryBarbera.com/freeassessment MaryBarbera.com/workshops

@krisadivine4252 3 ай бұрын

Same here.

@ashleyengelhardt1859 3 ай бұрын

My 4 year old Autistic son is super sweet boy but lately he’s been bitting pushing pinches, and has been throwing down his baby brother. I feel so hopeless right now. He gets better the reverses back

@marybarbera 3 ай бұрын

To learn more attend a 💻 free workshop to help young children increase talking, decrease tantrums, and improve picky eating, sleeping, potty training and more: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@dougwilson1247 2 жыл бұрын

The Wifey here….. let’s remember to thumbs up, this helps tremendously

@marybarbera 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching!

@lauracurry9274 4 ай бұрын

This is the video I needed to watch today I hope this works x

@marybarbera 2 ай бұрын

❤ Hope you can attend a free workshop today: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@73viji 11 ай бұрын

Thanks ❤

@marybarbera 11 ай бұрын

You are welcome!

@tamarasmith3588 4 ай бұрын

What about when a 3 year old hits, biting, scratching his mom?

@marybarbera 2 ай бұрын

Free workshop to start helping your child: bit.ly/3GZjn7m

@dods016 4 ай бұрын

thats my problem with my 3 year old son.. start throwing things when he is 1year old.. many cellphone and tv are damaged since then..

@marybarbera 2 ай бұрын

That's tough. Attending a free workshop today can help: MaryBarbera.com/workshops

@kaylah1507 10 ай бұрын

What about when your 3 year old will go around the house throwing every thing in sight while angry? I can’t just pin him down… what do I do? I can’t just ignore him while he destroys the house…

@marybarbera 10 ай бұрын

We have a mini course that helps with tantrums: Here's the link: marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/

@olive1162 Жыл бұрын

I believe my son he’s 22 months he throws and smashes things and hurts us when he upset or frustrated and can’t express them selves ?

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

We have a mini course for tantrums. marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/ Additionally, you can get help in dealing with problem behaviors by joining a course and being a part of the online community: marybarbera.com/courses/

@ZrixE_69420 Жыл бұрын

My brother throws away every phones in our house. How to stop this.

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

First step is to keep all phones out of reach to prevent the behavior. I can teach you how to prevent problem behaviors like this effectively. Join a free workshop to learn more: MaryBarbera.com/workshop or join my online course and community today: MaryBarbera.com/courses

@ZrixE_69420 11 ай бұрын

@@marybarbera thats not even possible. Where we hide. The kid finds it everywhere and wont stop crying if he doesn’t get any phones. More likely. It will start hitting us with metal sticks. His zodiac sign is scorpio btw.

@ZrixE_69420 11 ай бұрын

@@marybarbera more likely. He smashed every phones 13 times that our total cost is 520 dollars.

@anumabid8937 Жыл бұрын

I have a question..what if the child doesnt have anything in his hands to throw..but finds other things to throw..for instance, he throws the vase on the table..or anything thing in this vision area..child is non_verbal.

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

We have a mini course that can help with tantrums and throwing: marybarbera.com/turn-tantrums-around-mini-course/

@cyn4201 6 ай бұрын

does he have autism?

@ellalicanda9382 Жыл бұрын

But my toddler just 2yrs old now do hitting and throwing and i have 4months baby. We are talking to him a night before but he's just listening

@marybarbera Жыл бұрын

This can help: marybarbera.com/autism-and-hitting-resolving-autism-aggression/

@erinmcgoldrick2397 5 ай бұрын

This just isn’t practical for a profoundly autistic non verbal child.

@dealingwithfeeling763 6 ай бұрын

Hi, I would like to collaborate with your channel. Dealing with Feeling helps people cope with feelings. We aim to help children cope with feelings early on so they do not struggle with emotions later on but know them as drivers on their path.