Matt Rife Hilariously ROASTS Your Dating Profiles

Matt Rife Hilariously ROASTS Your Dating Profiles | Cosmopolitan

Рет қаралды 1,175,840

Күн бұрын

Would you let a celebrity read your dating profile 📲 - and critique it in front of millions of people?? Well, Cosmopolitan's new series Read My Profile is ALL about it. Today, we asked comedian Matt Rife to examine dating profiles YOU submitted, and he did NOT hold back 😳 . Watch along as he lets us know if these responses and photos would be a swipe right... or a HARD pass 😂 . Stay tuned for more Read My Profile coming soon. 🔜
Love Cosmo? Then come join our ~ elite ~ members-only crew. Sign up for Cosmo Unlocked: cosmopolitan.com/joinus 🔓
✨COSMO SHOWS✨
Secret Talent Test • Kpop Group MONSTA X Is... 🏆
Expensive Taste Test • We Tortured ‘Stranger ... 💅
Hot Girl Travel Tips • Comedian Naomi Watanab...
Drip or Drop! • BTS Reacts to Their Fa... 💧
That's So Emo • The Cast of Outer Bank... 🦄 😝 💯
Nobody Asked: • Mark Tuan Reveals The ... 👀🙊
The Breakdown • 'Yes Day' Star Jenna O...
The Braid Up • Double-Loop Box Braids...
Cosmo Queens! • Mayhem Miller | COSMO ... 👑
🚨 SUBSCRIBE to our channel and be the first to know who we're hanging with in our studio: kzfaq.info?... 🚨
Catch us everywhere:
www.cosmopolitan.com
Instagram: / cosmopolitan
Twitter: / cosmopolitan
Facebook: / cosmopolitan
TikTok: / cosmopolitan
And in your mailbox! Subscribe to the real deal here: csmo.us/goCcMTY
#MattRife #ReadMyProfile #Cosmopolitan

Пікірлер: 626

@GarbageMemesTBH 8 ай бұрын

“Wanna plug the tour?” “Everything is sold out” is such a flex lmao

@ChiTown915 8 ай бұрын

I really wish I could have gotten tickets

@Blullaby 8 ай бұрын

Took the words out of my fingers! (':

@wesdalelio 8 ай бұрын

savage move.

@EthereaGoddess 8 ай бұрын

Hah ya, found that out when I went to look at it a few weeks back.

@missymorales7376 8 ай бұрын

😂

@numblittlebug 8 ай бұрын

"what in the BLACK MIRROR is she talking about??"

@cosmopolitan 8 ай бұрын

😂

@Simonde4e 8 ай бұрын

Definitely talking about the movie ‘The Prestige’

@MamaPinks 8 ай бұрын

That Black Mirror comment had me rolling!😂 It's one of the best series out there!

@MamaPinks 8 ай бұрын

@@amandajoslin-kk5zc Star Trek?

@joycechacko8207 8 ай бұрын

Actually, it's true. At least the version of teleportation being worked on so far. Look up particle entanglement and quantum teleportation.

@ScarlettJ1221 8 ай бұрын

Me looking at Matt for 12 mins straight is already making my day

@cosmopolitan 8 ай бұрын

Ours too 🤪

@TeamProU 8 ай бұрын

Unreal.

@elinebelle5128 8 ай бұрын

For sure 💯 he's really pretty

@rihihi 8 ай бұрын

GIRL YOU AGAIN

@cosiscreations6654 7 ай бұрын

Same 😂

@andreagutierrez5338 8 ай бұрын

I’m in love with the first girl, she is gorgeous.

@helloheyo4ever 8 ай бұрын

She looked like such a fun person too

@Lex-op2ox 18 күн бұрын

I agree. She's so cute. The hair and the septum. Also seems so fun. 💗

@TheOneTrueErica 6 ай бұрын

I really appreciate how respectful he was when dissecting the women's profiles.

@tiagomaqz 6 ай бұрын

Except when he talked about the second girl and questioned how she can afford her trips suggesting “she might have nice feet”.

@nqobilemichelle2874 6 ай бұрын

@@tiagomaqzher occupation is not there obviously in this day and age it’s alarming because so many girls are on Onlyfans, strippers, prostitution. You can’t really put that on occupation cause no guy is gonna take you serious unless guys who j wanna smash

@llamagaming8498 6 ай бұрын

this aged the same as rotten fruit

@olugboyeopeyemi2428 6 ай бұрын

@@llamagaming8498lmao whyyy

@kazudolly 5 ай бұрын

@@olugboyeopeyemi2428hes a huge misogynist lol

@loveraphael5154 8 ай бұрын

I wanna be friends with him. He's so funny 😂

@brandyunknown9196 8 ай бұрын

You can be his friend for the price of a lunchable!

@Crismodin 8 ай бұрын

"everything is sold out" - lol I'm just some random guy who thinks Matt Rife is super funny, and while this video was definitely not meant for me - I watched it and enjoyed it.

@cosmopolitan 8 ай бұрын

So glad you liked it!!

@Jayc420_ 8 ай бұрын

How did Hannah, 24 turn into Selena, 27💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀

@hanaurbanova1348 8 ай бұрын

Me too 😂

@randi17888 8 ай бұрын

I know that was so annoying lol

@MusicCoverSelena 8 ай бұрын

I saw thatand was like wait me?!?!

@Harpie. 8 ай бұрын

I’m glad someone mentioned it

@SaudiaTate 8 ай бұрын

I was coming here looking for this comment. cause like, huh!? crazy oversight in the editing process

@awesomesauce6643 8 ай бұрын

“Everything’s sold out”

@sarahh3320 8 ай бұрын

Matt: The backward hat is frat boy vibes Also Matt: puts a shirtless pic of himself on his profile while talking about his gym bro lyfe.

@Captain_Insano_nomercy 8 ай бұрын

As much as women say they hate it; most don't

@m.a.1874 7 ай бұрын

⁠most do, you’re not a woman, you don’t know

@lightningmqueen1216 7 ай бұрын

100% if there's a shirtless photo or you're holding a fish... I'm out@@Captain_Insano_nomercy

@Hooves_of_Freedom 5 ай бұрын

he said that the most he would show would be a tank pic so im guessing the editors did that.

@user-yp6yr9te7l 4 ай бұрын

@@m.a.1874 if he's a man, and he has relationships with women, and he's posted shirtless pics of himself which attracted a respectable amount of dates, then he would know.

@hannahk.summerville5908 8 ай бұрын

"If something dark happens ~ are you the person I can laugh through that with?" Solid advice. Look for that!

@jordanmt_11 8 ай бұрын

“6ft so really 5’11” is soooo true 😂

@hummingawayawayaway 8 ай бұрын

I saw loads of clips of Matt but never really stopped to watch any of them. Glad I clicked on this! He has such a genuine and sweet personality and he's actually very funny and that is rare for a male comedian these days lol

@rightcliquegod7653 8 ай бұрын

Rare for a male comedian? Are you from Earth 2.0?

@reubendsouza7627 8 ай бұрын

He isn't that funny tho. He's just charming and attractive with decent jokes

@CardiacRn333 8 ай бұрын

Wish he saw this "rare" comment. Anyone that follows his comedy knows what would follow that from Matt...... 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Steve-hu8px 7 ай бұрын

It’s even rarer for female comedians to be funny 😂

@Makdkb 7 ай бұрын

@@Steve-hu8px not true Steve 😂 I'm sorry your mom did such a terrible job raising you. Sad boy

@jackieminogue3980 8 ай бұрын

“Lumêr from beauty and the beast”😭😭😅😅

@delsmontgomery 8 ай бұрын

10:22 the fear in his face when she said that 🤣

@darynx 8 ай бұрын

yea I thought she was going to be someone on staff he'd already dealt with that day like someone in hair and make up or something.

@GadgetsGearCoffee 8 ай бұрын

Omg I had this conversation about teleportation with my friend! She went into the theory of it that you're essentially cloning yourself and killing your last version which is just. Wild.

@joycechacko8207 8 ай бұрын

Yup, it is! And makes you wonder...what happens when not all of the information is transferred to your clone 🤔

@carissaetlora 8 ай бұрын

Woooahh

@sleeplessonterra9845 8 ай бұрын

The same was said about photographs way back in the day.

@lastskywalker2481 7 ай бұрын

@@joycechacko8207 with every beam you could eradicate all illness

@joycechacko8207 7 ай бұрын

@@lastskywalker2481 Wow! I didn't think of that. That's another application, I guess. But would they be able to achieve that kind of control? Right now, it's not in their hands, like how much data is retained. Maybe with better technology and knowledge, they could do as you said. But wouldn't actual cloning be a safer option?

@diamondabney 8 ай бұрын

Every girl needs to have a boyfriend like Matt

@jackieminogue3980 8 ай бұрын

Whaaat😳😅😅😅

@nihonrahman6712 8 ай бұрын

I totally agree

@winterycold 8 ай бұрын

boyfriend* not brother.

@diamondabney 8 ай бұрын

@@winterycold I edited my comment

@Kaimariee 8 ай бұрын

Frr

@bellag4279 8 ай бұрын

“Everything is sold out” 🤣🤣

@hannahatheart 8 ай бұрын

“Everything’s sold out” was so smooth of him 😎

@a.b.creator 8 ай бұрын

I want to hear how the date between Briana and Matt went 😁

@The9thDaisy 8 ай бұрын

It's so funny to me that someone can be deathly afraid of the dark while I'm here unable to sleep if there's even a hint of light on. 🤣

@blacksoul8382 8 ай бұрын

I'm terrified of the dark but also can't sleep if there is light on 🤣🤣

@hyrum3759 8 ай бұрын

This is me... 100% Not even a dot of light. I bought cover stickers off Amazon to hide my computer lights, and have blackout curtains but then in the day I have big windows and love the natural light hahaha

@carissaetlora 8 ай бұрын

Same

@kimreni 7 ай бұрын

@@hyrum3759are we the same person? I love big windows! Just not at night :D

@thejessicawinter 7 ай бұрын

legit same@@hyrum3759

@solegonz762 7 ай бұрын

I actually thought this was super helpful. Appreciate it. I have really haven't done online dating, so will try it. It's super interesting how a person comes accross in just photos.

@KatieInTheLight 8 ай бұрын

I learned about that teleportation thing in philosophy class and she's not wrong lol

@HenriZwols 7 ай бұрын

Ship of Theseus?

@TokioTE 7 ай бұрын

Tell me more! Saw it in a film, interesting to know it's based on some earlier work

@Dij7897 8 ай бұрын

He’s too pretty!! I swear sometimes my brain is like “okay there has to be something wrong here because his face is too nice!!” 😂

@sneauxone 8 ай бұрын

Dissing wearing a hat backwards, when he does that all the time 😅

@user-sv5so5vo1e 8 ай бұрын

I thought he was gonna say his irrational fear was heights 😂

@catherinerobles3242 8 ай бұрын

Lol right? We watched him on TFIL

@cmt89497 8 ай бұрын

That's a rational fear lmao

@anon.03 8 ай бұрын

Me too 😆

@whyistherumalwaysfinished27 8 ай бұрын

10:59 I’m not someone who is into this but I may need Matt to try on a cowboy hat with this outfit combo…🤔😂

@daisyitxel 8 ай бұрын

The fact that he said he loves otters. I love otters!

@amandadelecosse1661 7 ай бұрын

"Like he's checking his blind spot in 28F" 😂😂😂

@DadnCompany 8 ай бұрын

matt came a long way from WildNOut. Nothing but respect for mans

@kaylap8414 8 ай бұрын

the way all his prompts was literally what i would’ve answered is kinda scary

@kaylap8414 8 ай бұрын

also the tank top pics were very much appreciated thank u matt ✊🏽

@michelecherek5392 7 ай бұрын

Matt, you and Brianna would look CUTE TOGETHER!!❤

@mheuman 8 ай бұрын

Aww, what a fun and snarky man. Love Matt, I wish him all the sucess in the world. Update for the tank top shot. 👏👏👏👏👏

@maplelump 6 ай бұрын

LMAO, my opening line to him would be: "hate to burst your bubble but as a former wildlife nurse, otters are not fun to work with. Never meet your heroes."

@elainelee7483 7 ай бұрын

Matt should have a Chicken Shop date with Amelia. It'd be funny and cool!

@MavericksGoosed 8 ай бұрын

He is hilarious! I've done the same thing on dating apps lol It's more of a roast fest than a seeking someone. I don't think i could take anyone seriously on a dating app. I'm old school, stop me in the street and say hey. PS, Matt, i fit your dating age bracket, i'm a mom and i always have snacks 🤣

@lesliebean4594 8 ай бұрын

That last line’s not creepy at all 🤣

@Joy-xe6df 7 ай бұрын

No it’s not creepy. Matt specifically said in a show that moms are the best to date because of snacks! 😂

@HenriZwols 7 ай бұрын

Brianna looks cool

@lesliebean4594 7 ай бұрын

@@Joy-xe6df In that case… I’m a mom who always has snacks too lol

@asana_awakening 7 ай бұрын

Yes! Same to the “roast fest” lol. When I was single my best friend would come over for a girls night in, we’d drink wine, and laugh at all the ridiculous messages we received and roast profiles- some of the stuff was wild 😂

@KH-df3gw 7 ай бұрын

this series is so funny!!! please have more of this

@AshliGoodspeed07 8 ай бұрын

Love this so much!!! He’s the best

@colbinicole561 8 ай бұрын

When he said 2am it immediately was 2am on my clock. So powerful

@nicolebram1296 7 ай бұрын

I just continue to love him more and more. Hilarious

@Chandler.C_1993 8 ай бұрын

Matt, why are your prompt answers just making me love you more? Lol

@annelisez 7 ай бұрын

To think if Matt Rife didn’t make it in comedy he would be in a trailer with multiple baby mamas 😂😂

@erikatimmons8664 7 ай бұрын

Me, a Southwest flight attendant: 😮😂. Had me cracking up lololol

@Jiatdog10 8 ай бұрын

All those pics of him and yet the biggest flex is "Everything's sold out" 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💪

@all4Hero 8 ай бұрын

Swiping right at “otters”! I love otters eating stuff with their hands. Swimming all fluidly. Holding hands so they don’t float away. I really identify with them 😆🤪

@dollified100 8 ай бұрын

It’s great to know that I’m not the only adult who’s scared of the dark. He would match well with another female comedian.

@ABC-ed8cg 5 ай бұрын

Which female comedian?

@migglemaggle9500 Ай бұрын

You are awesome! Been watching vids for three days!!

@regina_filange2.0 7 ай бұрын

Glad to see him doing fun stuff like this. He won't hold back that's for sure.

@linejoable 8 ай бұрын

At 3.10 her name is Hannah, 24 and 6.04 her name is Selena, 27? She aged 3 years and changed her name in under three minutes.

@adeniyi5366 8 ай бұрын

I thought I was high and hungover when I saw it. But then I realized I don't even drink or smoke 🤣🤣🤣

@tinkerthetinyrobot 7 ай бұрын

they messed up the video. you can hear him say “sorry hannah” at the end of the selena bit

@chessenthusiast 8 ай бұрын

Was this a roast? Dude was the nicest, had thoughtful feedback, cracked a few jokes along the way. I don’t think they know what a roast is over at Cosmo…

@elinebelle5128 8 ай бұрын

I like how chill he is 😍

@melanieanne5285 8 ай бұрын

Everything's sold out. LMAO 😂

@DonnaShank-fj9cj 8 ай бұрын

I'm also afraid of the dark and have tv on all night. This was very fun to watch. ❤

@cosmopolitan 8 ай бұрын

So glad you liked it!!

@ABC-ed8cg 5 ай бұрын

Do u keep the light on as well? I’m scared of ghosts in the dark watching me sleep. Or someone coming out from under the bed to grab my feet ..

@DonnaShank-fj9cj 5 ай бұрын

@ABC-ed8cg I have some flameless candles in the room and leave the bathroom light on which shines thru my whole tiny apt. Lol. I've had some experience with dreams and thoughts going through my head hours before the event happened. I've had feelings of being tapped on the head where I'm living now, but not feeling scared by it at all.

@jeannette7150 6 ай бұрын

The second one 😂 "legs crossed (sometimes)" 💀 i would've been done, too lmao

@Sura.bbyyyy 7 ай бұрын

My first official date was a matt rife comedy show at Dec, and it was sold out for this yr!!! We wanted to do it for our anniversary. We love him so much!!! The sold out part was so real, I checked like back in September and it was sold out the whole year. Happy for him tho.

@infinitetopsiders 8 ай бұрын

did anyone notice at 6:05 the name changed to "Selena, 27"

@marielanglade5344 8 ай бұрын

yes that was so confusing!

@freyjabrigid 8 ай бұрын

The way he hated Hannah 😂

@madelinehudgins2292 5 ай бұрын

Super funny! Started watching him 6 months ago. I have 2 sons his age and he reminds me of both of them! ..Keep doing your thing and make us laugh!,, Granny is addicted to his shows and videos. Rock on Matt!

@miamagana6827 6 ай бұрын

I came back and realized the window joke on the airplane was part of his ‘Natural Selection’ on Netflix! Love this guy!

@avataraarow 8 ай бұрын

Brianna I have had that EXACT worry since freshman philosophy😂

@kimdramas 6 ай бұрын

Even the people behind the camera are laughing.

@DonnaMathers 8 ай бұрын

At 6:55 is that his hair or a hat? lol he kinda looks like he’s rockin “The Bob Ross” hairstyle 😂😂😂

@iamneptunian 8 ай бұрын

He’s so hilarious 😂 I love him

@22Ju20 8 ай бұрын

Matt seems like someone I would like to know...

@GlitchMasterCasey 4 күн бұрын

I was literally talking on the phone with my homegirl about how everyone should have their profile pics be exactly what they look like when they wake up in the morning lol 😂

@jayneyoungblood5121 4 ай бұрын

i love how he said the same bit about the blind spot and 28F as his shows😂

@mouaadjaaidi5011 8 ай бұрын

"24 years of age" = Red Flag. 👁👄👁 "How dare you be 24??!!"

@amandamayhue9057 8 ай бұрын

You're 100% right about the second girl. Super classy

@Tasting_fire 7 ай бұрын

I def didn’t expect to see my old coworker as the first profile 😂😂😂 bamboozled

@user-py3ht9zx1g 29 күн бұрын

Awesome video ❤!

@alittlebitofeverything2968 8 ай бұрын

Super excited to see you in Durham on the 27th!!! 😆😆😆

@mmesomafelix3236 7 ай бұрын

once you see him in wild n out you never see him the same way again. the change is GORGEOUSNESS

@CrispyCinnaBlunt 8 ай бұрын

hhhhh I’m going tomorrow to see him. I can’t wait! 😭🎉

@patrciaog.3439 6 ай бұрын

I love how he confidently said "everything is sold out" at the end😅

@mrmathematics1757 8 ай бұрын

You wanna plug your tour? "Everything is sold out" FLEX!!!

@blancaochoagarcia7286 5 ай бұрын

Coming from a 2020 dateline fan and actively on a dating app 😂 This so me!!! Talking or thinking out loud on the type of stuff men post 😂

@alishagrace Ай бұрын

I agree. Mario Kart would be a fun first date. Yoshi is my favorite! ♥️

@The.Lilomay 8 ай бұрын

I always roast dating profile when I’m on Tinder swiping 😂

@pujabiswas966 6 ай бұрын

This is soo me 😂😂 i too play songs to feel like im not alone to ghosts

@beatrizrodrigues336 8 ай бұрын

11:22 what about lunchables? 🤣

@brenhall529 8 ай бұрын

Morning Matt😊 Having a Wake n Bake and coffee ☕! Thank You for the giggles

@larrygraham1163 Ай бұрын

I absolutely loved your roast . I would swipe right on you instantly

@nylascurry5765 8 ай бұрын

can we get a part 2😅

@meeDorush 8 ай бұрын

The like button is broken. This have me belly laughs. Thanks Matt!

@evelynwashere13 8 ай бұрын

I just love Matt ❤❤❤❤❤

@annasanz3331 8 ай бұрын

Loooove this, and so funny. Matt ❤

@sarahf.s.2961 6 ай бұрын

That suit photo is so nice!

@maejbs8170 7 ай бұрын

I know everyone is in love with Matt because he looks great and is funny, but I love him because of his love for otters

@FioreCarp7 8 ай бұрын

11:11 me too!!! I kinda thought I was the only one even though there’s a name for the fobia… which is nictofobia, but I had yet to find someone else say they’re afraid of the dark

@moviesyay28 8 ай бұрын

Okay I have never commented on any of your videos before , but this was to die for …. Please do a few more of these. 🤣. You will have to decide if you want a river otter or sea otter. I have no doubt you would let them sleep in the bed with you.