I suffer with GAD (general anxiety disorder) and I love to sing & perform live. Two things that do not mix well at all. So it's taken a lot of open mics and leading jams to get over this fear and you really don't get OVER it. You learn to deal with it, you take a minute to breathe before a song, you accept that you may make mistakes, but so what...everyone there is supportive (they definitely should be) and will respect your bravery and attempt no matter what. My first open mic, I was terrified, I dedicated it to my wife since she was so supportive. My voice was shakey, I hit a bad chord (or two) and it was not as perfect as I rehearsed it (which was over and over and over again). Still, I got a standing ovation. People enjoyed it and respected my bravery and it was NOT an easy song (The Beatles - Something). My take away was, "hey, I can do this...with more work and effort, I can perform for people and people will like it." 😊

@Rudy Ramirez Jr that is lovely! A very lovely story indeed. Yes, that is definitely a big part of working through anxiety is facing what causes it... Sometimes incredibly gradually and sometimes all at once (with an escape route / safety net 😅), but that was so brave of you to do something so crazy and overwhelming as performing in front of a bunch of people--while having so much anxiety. But maybe part of what drove you forward is that you love performing more than you hate the fear it causes? For me, playing the uke has been a source of comfort, anxiety-removing-ness, and joy so I don't really want anything to take that away. That's why for me it's better to move slowly, maybe do some of those things like playing in the park and in front of my family / friends more, but it's also helped a lot to have RC101 as a safe and supportive place to record and share without the visceral terror of a physical audience. I try not to think about that too much even while recording videos, but it's still there, sigh. 😅 But anyway, thank you for sharing your story, Rudy! It's really an amazing example of working through/with your fear and being able to do something you love. Uke can do it! 😉😅

I feel this post so much. For me it was depression as well, but thankfully I still managed to do some of the creative things that I love even when I was really depressed. I still have really bad days where I struggle a lot (or fail) to get up and do things, but part of what helps is knowing that you could not help it and you can't change what happened. Only take incremental steps to get better which is what I did and do every day. And yes, just try to keep going and not fight it when a panic attack happens. For me when I've tried to fight it it usually ends badly. 😂 Anyway, it is sad to think about time that's lost through mental struggle but all you can do is try to move forward and do better. And accept that even though you can't change the past you can change what happens next. Okay, that's all. 😂Thank you for sharing this!

I think the only one that needs to enjoy and appreciate your performance is you. Playing for an audience of one is most important. If you love it others will too. :)