Full episode here: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bs1gpbBzm9fZmYU.html

"if you never say no, your yes means nothing"

This is the greatest explanation for why self-control in men is so important. Self-control breeds confidence. Incredible stuff

Staying loyal to one person is good for your spirit and soul.

"You control who you put yourself into" works on so many levels. Its true

I think self control is good for anyone regardless of gender.

We all need both, authenticity, and self-control.

Nail on the head. Self control is literally the key to success and prosperity. I wish I had more when I was younger.

She is so right. Self control is the result of self discipline. Self discipline comes from self respect and embracing morality. If you feel that you are staying within the boundaries of self imposed morality, self control is very achieveable in your life.

If you don't control your passions, your passions will control you. It is so crucial to not give into every impulse you have.

There is something extremely attractive about a disciplined man. It shows in the way he carries himself. How he conducts himself. It draws attention when he doesn't do anything to seek attention.

A lot of men have literally never had the opportunity to say no to a woman

I think self-control and authenticity should apply both men and women.

Now I just have to figure out how to reject all these women who don't even know I exist...

I have rejected lots of women throughout my life. The reason why is because I don't let people use me to boost themselves. They're just taking energy from me and offering nothing back.

More men need to hear this! 🎯

Sadly, I think many women do the same and reject men out of not wanting to be messed around or getting in there before the man gets a chance to reject them. It’s a horrible process on both sides.

Being grounded, displaying confident body language and having purpose in life is key.

It's not specifically about rejecting women, but rather about exercising self-control as a man in public. There's no need to gaze at every woman or crave their reciprocation. It's about focusing on your own tasks and not allowing yourself to be swayed or distracted by the attention-seeking behavior of others, especially women.

I agree..Self Control and Authenticity is very important

Yep, facts! I've recently come out of a 9 year relationship, spent 7 months drinking etc and now I'm off the booze, training and rejecting weekend flings and I feel top of the world. Stay strong guys it doesn't actually take that much 🤙

She is spot on. One thing she didn’t mention is that, Women know when a man has little to no self control. Just like Men know when a women is lacking self respect. The lack of self control and self respect shows plain as day. Need to respect yourself first, before anyone else will.

The forgotten value of being a committed married man. You don't have anyone to impress but your wife and kids.

THIS! I've been working on myself the past three years at an all new level. Found myself with a lot of free time after my ONE bailed out after 20 and 5. Closed my business to work on ME. Learned FAST, Selfcontrol can be the hardest to get. Harder than stopping Ribeyes! What POWER, KNOWING you can now TRUST YOURSELF, no matter what... Discipline is Power, Selfconrol without limit is #1 "everything". Best feeling ever.😮 Hate it took 50 to get this.

Refreshing to hear this from one of the ladies. She gets it. Bravo!

We all need self-control. I'm a skinny woman with a beer belly. I had to say no to all my favorite foods and stop eating candy, chocolate and drinking soda. Been doing intermittent fasting (14 hours) for two months now and the results are amazing. Skin is glowing and body is tight again. Next step is to change careers. Been wanting to for over a decade now.

I realised this many years ago. It's about being your own boss. Not being led astray by things that do and will never benifit your soul.....

Only part i disagree with is gaining more self respect from turning down women. I’ve never felt that despite rejecting numerous women. I usually get the self esteem boost from adding to the notch count

More men need to listen to this

I am a woman. Women need to master self control as well. Women gain self esteem by saying "no" to things and asserting their boundaries, especially women who aren't naturally assertive.

A man who has self control and takes care of his body and has his profession down is 🔥🔥🔥

I think this is true about self control. It's been a slow process, but giving up video games, focusing on priorities, saying no to sugary snacks and drinks, generally living with integrity. Still have work to do, but nearly 40 pounds lost and things that used to shame me no longer affect me. It's the freedom of the "guilt-free man". Chase that in your life.

Self control resonates with me. Thank you❤😊

I totally agree with this. Abstaining from alcohol and not masturbating has levelled up my mind in ways I didn’t even know was possible. 😊

"Elegance is refusal." -Coco Chanel

Thank you this was confirmation 💯❤️

That makes a lot of sense, self control is key to inner peace.

For me, I’m a woman it’s self control. I don’t have to become intimate with every man that I meet once I discover that and I have been doing that for years I feel so peaceful and so powerful.

This is so important in many aspects of a man’s life. Having discipline and being discrete. Especially in our current world where everything is on sale.

People in general develop self-esteem by saying no to things. It's a form of self discipline.

“You actually gain far more self control when you reject women” As someone who’s 31 years of age and been rejected by every woman I’ve respectfully approached, I don’t think she realises there are men who’ve never had the opportunity to “reject” women. And I am sick and tired of being told I need to become an ungodly perfect version of myself and women would flock to me. I have a job, I keep myself healthy, I go gym regularly, I’m loyal and dedicated to my family, what more in Gods name am I meant to do to become worthy of love? There are men who have only half of what I have yet they are happily married.

This woman is very beautiful and so clever too. Really speaks a lot of sense.

Correct. I’ve lost 20lbs over the last yr. Abs are showing now. Takes a lot of discipline

That is such a true statement. About the self-esteem

Higher wisdom. Love it!

This IS my definition of a REAL MAN...SELF CONTROL ❤

It’s time to realize what my body wants isn’t necessarily what i want !

Rejecting unworthy women ( or people) comes from realizing your true worth. It's not the other way around.

I have rejected plenty of women in my life because I have seen that they will just bring nothing but drama and toxicity in my life. It pisses them but that's their problem. I can't be there for everybody.

This is soooo true. I said no more to a really bad relationship recently, for the first time ever I ended a relationship and it's given me so much confidence. Like its a visceral feeling.

Having the ability to say no to your impulses is the true form of freedom, not doing whatever you urge to do

I’m the mother of two sons and a teacher. I teach self control all the time. It’s the one thing I can do to give them great positive power over their own lives. Great message!

Can’t state enough how true this is. You always know the score inside your own head and if you know you bitched out on something you won’t feel like you “deserved” that thing you want and you won’t get it

Discipline & structure is the key to life.

That is the best piece of advice for both men and women. Thankyou for bringing that up.

This is so true, I never worry about my husband bc he has so much self control it is almost annoying.

A child that grows up with no discipline becomes an adult with lack of self control. It includes all areas of your life. Note how she also mentions diet and exercise not just sexual self control. Emotional self control is important for both genders as well. Nobody wants a partner who creates drama all the time.

Yes. 100%. I’m a Hare Krishna and my husband was a monk for 10 years. We have many friends who were/are monks. I can tell you firsthand that self-control and discipline is the cornerstone to healthy masculinity ❤️ The men I know that were/are monks & missionaries, practicing celibacy for some time, and practicing austerities like simple diet, little sleep, and restriction to materialistic gains, are some of the most responsible, confident, empowered men that I have ever met. I can honestly say that it’s very rare for me to meet the average American that could compare. It’s not that guys fault, it’s just that he has imbibed a culture that values excess sense pleasure and materialism.

I keep listening to this short several times throughout the day.

This hit home for me. About 15 years ago, I ran into an ex-girlfriend in crisis. Apparently, her boyfriend had been arrested the night before, and she didn't have a car at the time. I drove her to the various places she thought he might be, but no one had seen him or heard anything. I drove her back to her place and she started flirting with me. I told her that I couldn't go through with it, because I couldn't separate love from sex, and I didn't want to put her in a place of regret. I wished her luck in finding her man, but also told her that she shouldn't settle for someone who doesn't care enough to call in a situation like that. I left feeling pretty good - not necessarily for having the level of restraint to turn her down, but because that restraint allowed me to be there for her in a way that few if any other men had ever been.

Agree with you , totally yess.

“Your body tells you when you’re craving a child” all my body tells me it’s craving is Taco Bell so I should probably practice self-control too 😂

Thank you for giving this incredible message a platform 🙏🏽😮‍💨🗣️

You are so correct...self discipline is the key to your aligned self.. when a man has no self control..it can be felt by the one who truly loved him. I won't go back now. 💓💥💓💥

This woman is the example of the quote “Is it okay to know the truth and be sad or be happy and live in the fool's paradise”. The sad part is we are living in fools paradise where other than main problem goes on the screen or other platform.

Regardless of gender: self control + authenticity is key. She is communicating it in a way as they would be opposite powers.

You do not have to reject a woman to gain self control. You chose to practice denial. When you master your appetite. Please choose your words wisely. Not control, Mastery. Not reject, but looking only with the eyes. I agree with the gym for both men + women.

That difference is fascinating and something I've never heard before. Completely rings true and makes sense and one of the more useful insights

Thank you so much for posting this and god bless her for saying this truth.

This woman speaks the truth like she's paid to. I've only said yes to a handful, literally less than five women. Self control is control and control is everything.

This doesn’t apply to women, this applies to friends, business offers, or anything in life.

i agree self discipline is always good for your health and self esteem

I believe self control actually is the absolute best advice for both women and men..reason why i say this is because exactly as was said..women listening to their bodies..where our hormones are all over the place..exactly why we have to learn to control emotions and whatever as well..

This is true for women too. I cannot respect anyone who just let their hormones run wild. Male or female. Living in society, being successful requires anyone to practice self-control and discipline.

Wow. Very wise words! Thank you for this.

The fact that deep down inside (especially as a Muslim) I knew this… but had to hear it this way and read all of you wonderful people’s’ comments to fully comprehend this. Wow. I love pain. More accurately, I love restricting myself from pleasure. Because true pleasure is knowing that the pleasureful things I will enjoy: were truly meant for me.

It's a shame society naively thinks self control is possible alone, you need community, you need people for support. These kind of messages just isolate men, and don't create a feelings that men can reach out if they are struggling with self control, this video makes it sound like an either or, you are either weak or stoically self controlled. Why not help people to develop self control rather than blasting on about how men need it, how about define it, guide men on how to achieve it. I'm a man of God and I know that self control is not achieved alone, people need help with it.

It's not self-control. Saying no to women is the realization that you no longer need them. You've grown up and beyond them and the meaningless social validation they might represent. In many ways, we leave them behind and they become purely optional. THAT'S where self-esteem comes from.

My experience is when I've rejected women they turn violent on me one way or another. They don't respect me more, but even less.

Great advice and very wise words

This advice applies for women, too. The woman who is more discriminating and exercises self-control instead of making it easy for just any guy to sleep with her….(so very early on) carries a different sort of aura/energy. The problem is that the media (movies, music, commercials, etc) perpetuate a culture of NO self-control in all areas of life and people are following the culture of “no self-control” because the media glamorizes it and makes it appear cooler even tho it comes with negative consequences. For example: 1) Drinking is glorified…especially drinking to excess. Get drunk …get wasted. It’s considered…..funny, comical. Those who don’y drink are considered bores or not cool enough. 2) Excess in language. Every other word in each sentence is a curse word. People liberally pepper their sentences with the F-word, the b-word. Heck it’s so common to hear people call blessings such as food “shit”. There are people in this world living in abject poverty and starving while many in 1st world countries take blessing like food for granted and call it….”shit”. Mmm…this shit taste good. It’s sad. There are religions and cultures in this world that consider food to be sacred, something you pray over before eating and now many people in the world address it as “shit”. This is a “low” for us as the human race; we are regressing with language. When the quality of language goes on a decline because people no longer exercise …self-control….with the words they say….then we become careless with how we express ourselves with loved ones and it can hurt our relationships. Look at the divorce rate and how kids talk to parents and teachers. 3) Drama. The more ghetto and loud and in-yo-face we are with expressing ourselves and what happened to us….the “cooler” it appears. But is it? Or is just another manifestation of lack of self control? 4) Even makeup and clothing. My sister came down for a visit after a long time and said, “Is it just me or are women here now showing more skin a d dressing trashier and skimpier than before?” No, you’re not imagining it. There is a lack of self control which translates into …EXCESS….in skin showing and how you present yourself. The more rips you have in the clothes….the more that you let it all them jiggly-wiggly-bobbly-bits-n-bobs …hang out for the world to see…the “better/cooler” it is. You wouldn’t dare dress like that for a job interview or a funeral because that’s when most people opt for “classiness” ….but they will get angry and defensive if anyone says they skanky-clothes are less than classy. 5) Promiscuity…the more people you’ve slept with…is treated like a badge of honor. People who practice restraint or more self-control in their…. language……their alcohol consumption…..their amount of partying…..the number of sexual partners are….mocked. They are deemed losers and boring by the youth and even those that are older. Self-restraint is mocked in the TV shows too in such a way that people don’t question the subliminal messages that shows send them. Ned Flanders from the Simpsons is mocked for his conservative values and self control by someone as dumb and (lacking in self-control) as Homer Simpson. tl;dr: The media (movies, music, TV shows, etc) glorifies and perpetuates a culture of excess and lack of self-control which then becomes a part of society’s culture and shapes views about what is cool and what isn’t. Everyone can assert that both men and women need to have more self-control. BUT……..is anyone questioning WHY our society has become deeply rooted in lack of self-control? Has anyone done some “critical thinking” (remember that term from school?” ….and thought about the ….root causes…..behind the problem of excess and no self-control? If people can cite the media as being a key contributor to women having low self-esteem because they are constantly bombarded by images of “what beauty should look like”………….then………..can it not be argued that the media also sends messages about what kind of lifestyle is “cool” or “not”….? It sho’ does!

Saying no to a women can often come with unexpected consequences.

Brilliant!

A few years ago, an absolutely GORGEOUS woman was becoming interested in me. But she started showing a lot of red flags. I walked away. And I'm happy with the decision.

Can confirm. Holding a boundary firmly is a massive display of strength, and you notice it.

Thats so cool. I loved especially the last bit about treating depression

Beautiful words spoken from a beautiful woman 😍 I'm all ears 👂👂

Being alone is a blessing the reason i stay away from women is cause they bring to much drama and problems which i dont wanna deal with neither am i ready for a girlfriend yet cause i know im not in the right mindset to be in one and im also focused on myself at the moment and i do enjoy being alone then being in a relationship and i think the reason why i enjoy being single so much cause im use to it being in a relationship would be foreign to me and i feel like i would be less focused on myself

Maybe I’m just dumb (likely) but this just seems like a woman’s approach. Most men don’t even have a chance to reject anyone. We aren’t being pursued at all. Women are the ones who have a lot of options, and they certainly seem get an ego boost from rejecting men. Am I wrong? I mean, I have been single since ‘06, so I probably am.

Rejecting low quality women really is a super power and I encourage every guy here to do it as often as possible

Thanks for this. Very helpful

So much more to this - Not about control, but about discernment and personal responsibility. In order to access authenticity, you have to be willing to explore life and sometimes look like a fool. Men need to get to their authentic selves as much as women do.

❤She is beautiful.

Self discipline is so important for self/inner work but like everything else it's a balance. Some people are really hard on themselves. But in this situation that Sadia is referring to, she's right. You take back power when you can reject and say no. We all have hedonistic tendencies. Some are harmless but some are very harmful for you and your loved ones so choose wisely

Cooking for yourself and eating healthy makes a big difference. Exercise doesn't require a gym but a stove and grill, personal privacy, and being active in your leisure time as well.

If a bit of depression is a down day yes. Depression is far deeper than just getting out and doing some exercise.

Wow. And i shamed myself for saying no many times. I wanted To be like my buddies and sleep around. Wow.

No matter how much the wind howls the mountain cannot bow to the wind.

My self confidence is so great. I've rejected so many women the last few years that I'm just going to keep doing it. Never stop until I turn into a whirling singularity of pure self confidence. My power will know no bounds and soon I will reject every woman alive and then they will come crawling out of their graves, one by one, clambering at my heel while I step on their heaping corpses shooting pure light from my third eye 👽

Ive said no, but it was part of my lowbself esteem. Ive been taught and now know I'm completely worthless.