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My toxic ex used to compare me to my friends and commented on things he didn‘t like about my physique without me asking whereas my partner now tells me I am the prettiest girl in the room and how good I look and how nice my body is every day. Both men know my insecurities with my weight. It‘s not all about how you carry yourself, sometimes the man is just an asshole.

As a man who lies to himself on a daily basis this video really spoke to me on a personal level.

I don‘t like it when men inflate their body count. They don‘t want me to lie about mine and I find it unattractive when men sleep around anyway. I think it‘s disgusting and a sign of emotional immaturity, lack of selection in their partner choice and a sign of inability to form a stable relationship.

#3 is unbelievably true. Women who have had almost every single guy “friend” confess feelings or try to get with them, know this. Truly platonic close friendship between men and women is quite uncommon. Yes there are exceptions, but this has been my experience.

Yup learned twice that men and women cannot be platonic friends unless there's is a true purpose to the friendship

Margarita, I cannot stress enough how your podcast saved my life. It helped me completely change my mindset and shift my energy. I went from an angry, anxious, resentful, burnt out person to a more peaceful version of myself, as a woman, mom and wife. I've seen my husband step into his masculine energy and giving into it everyday. Thank you for what you do. Your content is definitely one of my safe places ❤

I just love how she communicates in her videos. Very clear, direct and to the point. The only KZfaqr I can binge watch. Thank you Margarita for sharing your knowledge on this platform 🫶🏾

Notes 1. Put yourself in his shoes (don’t point out your insecurities) 2. Don’t ask men questions you don’t want the answer to (be confident and take compliments) 3. Self love affirmations aloud (you’ll convince others) (fake it till you make it) 4. Men love with their eyes / get interested with their eyes 5. Attraction, there is love however physical means a lot to men 6. Friends, something happened between them or one of them is holding out that something will 7. Men are attracted to things, hobbies, work, etc things in common 8. Clock things, don’t react, don’t emote, don’t scream if he’s putting himself out there understand, communicate, and decide 9. Not just a friend 9/10x 10. Men inflate woman deflate, take it as a compliment 11. If he was a player and been with all these woman he wouldn’t be saying anything

had to learn the "friend" one the hard way. he pursued his "friend" that i was skeptical about only one day after we broke up. Never trusting the just-a-friend bs ever again.

Ex kept telling me “she’s just a friend” and kept behaving like that and putting himself out there and making less time for me. When we broke up, not even a month, he got with his “she’s just a friend” 😂 ladies, Margarita is telling the truth and I was younger and stupid for putting up with such behavior. I learned the hard way but never again will I be with someone like that.

Omg the same thing happened to me one day … I was watching a show and there was an unattractive woman on the show (personal opinion) however her attitude and the way she talked about herself and carried herself totally convinced me that she was beautiful by the end of the show … wow

Focus on you and the focus becomes you.♥️

Over time, I found out that men would lie about anything to achieve their goals😒

I discovered your content recently, and I just flat out love your energy

I would be really interested in seeing you do a video addressing social media because often, these boundaries are blurred, and I come across people disregarding interactions and certain behaviours/habits just due to them taking place online.

This is sooooo true. That’s why they say confidence is key . Bc your energy of being comfortable and loving urself is more than how you THINK others see you.❤

I just realized another thing to love about you. When you edit your videos there’s no quick cuts/splicing/heavy editing, you’re straight up just talking to us. So authentic. When I made KZfaq vids a decade ago I used to cut out all my ‘um’s’ 😂

I will never ever entertain a man with close female friends ever again. Ladies please don’t do it. You are essentially signing up for an open relationship in which the so called friends come first because “they were there first!!”, even though you as the gf are held to a much higher standard of behaviour and investment. I respect myself too much to date a beta orbiter.

#3 happened to me. I’m still recovering. The pain is enormous.

My neighbour kept messaging my late husband and flirting with him. He was oblivious to it and thought she just wanted to be friends. When I pointed it out he cut it off completely with her. I love how you say “this one, that one, the other one”! ❤

My ex lived alone with his female friend. She was controlling over him and they were codependent. She didn’t like our relationship.. I unfortunately never asserted myself or set some hard boundaries around that “friendship” at the beginning.. I wouldn’t have placed myself in a strange triangle and known who his priority really was far sooner!

No.3 applies equally to women. (Given the examples, how could it not?) So if your man tells you he doesnt like you having male friends, don't automatically accuse him of being 'controlling' or 'insecure'.

Im a guy and I want women to know we want them to say what they mean, mean what they say, and not play hints, guesses, psychic communication to their man.........none of that works. We are direct individuals. Rather than having a fight over poor communication, just state clearly what you want as statement, no judgement, no attitude, just clear communication to get the communication across like you would a child. I agree with you that a man and woman friendship on their own when the partner is not invited along should be avoided. There is no sense putting your partner in the situation where they would be uncomfortable when it could be avoided . PS Some of us like the imperfections in our women. We already hold you up high in our mind. You might not look like you did at 25 still but every wrinkle, every vein, every grey hair you try to hide now reminds us of the 25 yr old who stuck by our side through the ups and downs over the years. Maybe Im the odd man out on this one though.

Yeppp learned the "friend" thing the hard way. And it was a girl I was friends with...

I wish the attraction vs. Love was stated to me when I was in my 20's. I didn't feel so worthy of taking care of myself as well as I should've as quickly as I should've. My husband LOVED me and never ever made me feel bad but I deserved to feel physically attracted as well. ❤ Finally got it and finally handling it!

Too many "Amandas" out there trying to act cute and being inappropriately friendly in the guise of professional cameraderie at work, it happens ALL THE TIME, ladies! Once I even witnessed an assistant ask a colleague of mine (an engaged man) if he wanted a shoulder massage when he mentioned he was stressed. Beware. Margarita's advice is 💯. Why does no one teach us these things?!?

Omg I love you. also I find you so hilarious “he wrestled an elephant to death” with such a serious face, woman you are so inspirational 🙌👏

can you make a specific video on the female friendships part please

Men will say one thing and do another to save themself in every situation and with whoever the woman is!! They hate confrontation or drama.

I can’t speak for straight men with female friends, but as a gay man, I have tons of male friends I have no sexual or romantic interest with. But they are buddies.

Hey, I'm a man. And I need to say man can be friends with woman! My two best friends are female. And I put my hand in fire, it will never happen something between us. I agree as well with you, when you just met a person and wanna hangout 1-1, that's strange and shows that a person is putting himself out. Pls, make a difference between real friendship and let's see what happens.

Totally agree. Men and women can't be friends. The man always makes it sexual.

I am sooo glad i found your channel 😭😭 learning lots from you and comes at a great time now that I’m single and dating xx

"He wrestled an elephant to death" hahaha you crack me up 😂

A man should be a one woman only. A relationship with your lady is for life. Men love to brag and inflate their 'own importance'. Maybe another reason men tell women 'tall stories' is the fact that the lady they are speaking with is actually 'out of their league'. In the real world men love to 'compete' with everyone. Men often cannot relate to 'high achieving' women. This makes them feel like their achievements in comparison are very very little. A man that constantly brags is basically a man that is totally insecure and in the long term is using women as 'trophy women'. They are just another thing to add to his 'list of success' when out with all his mates. Men basically can be very insecure individuals. Beautiful women are not there to boost the ego of 'butch' males. Women need to be very very careful when dealing with boosting males. These individuals often are just like strutting peacocks who want everyone and everything to revolve around them. Some even could be covert naracists who love capturing gullible women who fall for their charms and their tall stories. Thank you for this video. May all ladies be kept safe from arrogant self centered males.

Found you on tiktok, I totally agree with your advice and am learning a lot from you.

I think its a simple pattern lol my ex always said “They are just friends babe you are too jealously” to gaslight me ah yeah just a normal female friend that he talked for hours while we had arguments about her texts! now I sometimes Im so lonely after breakup but so happy not to be a miserable unvalued gf again.

Thank you so much for sharing all this wisdom with us Margarita, I look forward to your podcast every Tuesday with so much excitement! You’ve helped me really build a foundation of self esteem and understanding my own power.

You give me life, please keep doing what you’re doing Margarita ❤🎉

The no 3 is a BIG NO NO, red flag for me. My ex wanted me to be ok with that nd not only that but he also wanted me to be ok with him hugging other women. He would NOT act in a way that made other women understand that he was taken and not available. "if you trust me you should know that im not interested in them even if im nice to them and a friendly hug is nothing" The problem is he has the kind of personality that is very overly friendly, can be perceived as flirtatious, he holds eye contact very long and look ppl very deep in the eye. Ive asked him to at least have some kind of boundaries when it comes to other women, like be clear that you are unavailable and have a partner, and pls dont hug ppl the way you hug me and choose your hugs, no one needs to hug female coworkers really.. No one need to be super available for evey woman out there. He made me feel very insecure and un important, i felt like i was his last priority all the time, his work and coworkers got 95% of his time and energy. All i got was maaayyybe 1 hour in the evening on the sofa, no communication, no connection, just him slowly falling asleep because he had drained himself with work, over extending himself to others and nothing was left for me. I can deal with that mon-fri, but he worked weekends too... We barely spoke and when we did we always argued because i felt unseen, unheard and neglected. The worst thing is I love him still, i cry everyday, i cant function because i know he did a lot of it for me and us. He wanted to provide, to take care of me but for me it takes more than just being financially safe. I need to feel safe with my partner. I need to now that hes not behaving single when hes away, I need to know that other women dont get from him what i get/should get.. Ive never been more devastated in my life, fighting for what you know is right, fighting for being treated like the partner you are and being told he wants to be free to hug and act as he pleases with women and his coworkers (that are 98% female..) It was his first relationship ever and I really think he has a very naive outlook on relationships. Im just heatbroken knowing that the love, devotion and loyalty I brought to our relationship wasnt enough, not to inspire him do want to do the same, to reevaluate what he thinks and where he stands. Never again will I enter a relationship before talking about things like this so I know if we are on the same page, because this is nothing im going to go through again. He also wanted me to be ok with no contact if he had to go away on business trips... Because it would be soooo inconvenient for him to take time to do that... No "cant wait to see you" "missing you" "how are you doing" FUCK I really broke my own damn heart for him because ive never loved like that ever... I love listening to you Margarita because you make me boss up with my feelings and make me feel like " yeah no, not everybody deserves my presence" THANK YOU! (if you got this far) XD

I am a man and I think you are pretty much accurate.

I don’t love rating people as a 5/10…. Idk why. But I have been binging your videos and love your book list!! I’ve read many and plan to read the rest of those you’ve suggested! My bf is a DJ and he has lots of acquaintances. I could care less about them. I know deep down that we are together. I think it ties into the idea of being unattached to any jealousy. He loves me. I love him. If anything else goes down I know I’ll be fine….

I found your channel a while ago and have been fascinated, It has taught me so much about self esteem and how women think (perhaps also how us men think at times too). I just wanna quickly say, don't pretend like at 2:50 that you're a 5. You're a 10. This channel is a 10 and you're doing great. Keep up the good work!

Oh wow. This was so triggering. I was about to act straight after listening and do something stupid (my ex is a psycho/narc) but I won't. It'll calm down. It was the comment about Amanda not being just a friend. I had exactly that happen with my narc ex and I stupidly stayed and abandoned myself. You've validated my feelings I had at the time. I can deal with the trigger but boy Im still not over it. Love your honesty though thank you x

You’re my favourite. Always hit to the right point. Thank you, Margarita💙🤲🏼

You speak the truth, Margarita, and yet you made me laugh so much with number 4. Your videos are amazing, I've been following you for quite some time now and absolutely love your content. Looking forward to the next one!

As a guy I would note that sometimes when women see themselves as a 5/10 it's not superlative qualities you don't have that matter--it's the lack of flaws. 5/10 as viewed girl-to-girl may be much prettier girl-to-guy. /Results may vary as girls simply cannot see each other the same way as guys do.

I absolutely love your content 10 out of 10 babe ❤thank you for the value you add I love your podcast , tok and tube platforms message is so needed in this world

Wow!You’ve opened my eyes on so many things and I’m so grateful for you

You are the woman I needed in my life❤

Margarita, you are a godsend. Thank you for your channel. This is just the kind of advice and content I was looking for, and it helps me enormously to clarify my problems with men…

Margarita, I need more videos from you . I just started watching you and already almost through all of your videos. 😅

My GOSH I wish I had this content 1 year ago. It would spare me a lot of trouble. Sooooo much thankful for this Marg!!!

I agree with #1, #2, #3, and #4. (However, your self-assessment of 5 out of 10 was a deflation; see #4)

I agree with you in regards to number three.

My ex told me he would probably sleep with my girlfriend (after me stupidly asking him if he liked her) - my lesson learned here. BUT he was also telling me (without asking) things like - you are too skinny, I can see your ribs, I dont mike this skirt etc. Also critisizing his ex girlfriends (I know because he told me) for extra kilos, outfits, hairstyle etc. Also without being asked. So although I learned a lesson not to ask stupid questions, this case was an assh*le making women insecure 😅 I wish he was a gentleman who would rather lie than be overly “honest” - btw he only wanted to make a woman feel less since he has had mental problems himself (not admitting ever). Good luck to all the women finding a man who would not make them feel not enough. Its in our hands!!!!! Never making the same mistake again🩵🩵🩵💪🏼

I'm so early. I thoroughly enjoy your videos, thank you! ❤

I laughed so hard with the last one because I can relate. There is this guy I’ve just started to date and the other day he asked me what do I look for in a man and I told him: “First of all, that he has his shit together”, and he was like oh I have my shit together, and I was like define having your shit together and one of the things he told me when explaining that is: “well, I have 100k saved in my bank account, and I have a good job”. He is 21 and I’m 20, to me, the fact that he said he has 100k in his bank account was impressive, I mean he is 21, but now with this video, I’m wondering if he was just trying to inflate himself to make me like him lol 😂 😂

13.10😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅 gosh how this was said. Darling posting this video literally saved the world ..thank you thank you😊

Interesting, one of my facial features are big blue eyes..Now, I have been bullied as much as complimented for them so I myself look in the mirror and say "this is me" genetic heritage, I might as well be proud of it 😊👍

You’re like the mom I never had. I love your Chanel and you have become part of my routine to watch your episodes. Thank you for sharing with us.

I want to be friends in real life- in person with you!! You are such a strong, stable, beautiful woman and I freaking love it!! Love to surround myself with confident, strong women. Oh how we would rule the world if we just built each other up like this woman.

this is all true, my boyfriend is very honest. not in a mean way but he will tell me if something doesn’t flatter me. and he has said that men are first interested in looks but personality makes them stay

I started going through a deep depressive episode and my boyfriend suddenly needed to be friends with a girl from high school She is so real for this!!!

😂😂😂😂 the first part cracked me up because facts!!!!! I legit know my husband is gonna lie! 😂😂😂😂

3 sounds like a lot of insecurities from your side. I have a really close female friend i met through a hobby/a friend of mine. She is a 10/10 but i do not want anything more than friendship with her. Thats all it is ever going to be. Saying all men lie about that just sounds like personal trauma. If a woman would want me to stop contact with my friend then this woman can leave. I am choosing friends over a new partner with insecurities…Like of course there are men that lie about that, but guess what, you ve got the wrong guy then. Also lying is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. It will destroy it in the long run, just be honest with your partner…All of this sounds so childish

Oh my god exactly that!! I have never ever expressed dislike for any part of myself to my partner. Simply because I do not want to add any negative ideas to any that my partner has about me. 22 years later, and I still don’t vocalise any insecurities.

My bf wanted to find a female friend once and I wasn't okay with it. He said that he just wanted a female to talk about female things with. And he also said that they would hang out 1-on-1, even when I'm not there. I expressed how I didn't like this idea and so he never did go out to make a female friend but I still think it's really weird for him to want that because I feel I give him everything he would need from a female friend.

You are the big sister everyone needs ❤

What if there's an Amanda but you're married with kids and getting up and going isn't so easy? How can we approach this?

Honestly, this is one of the realest videos I have seen in a long time. I rarely comment on any video. The topics you touched on seem so nuanced but not really. 👏🏽

She is NOT a 5 😂 mama is hot af

Thank you so much for this once again eye-opening video. I have been in a relationship with a man for almost 5 mo and everything is going well but the only thing that I cannot understand is that he was still good friends with his ex of 5 years who cheated on him. He decided to stop any contact with her at the beginning of our relationship “for me”, he said. He assures me that there wasn’t any attraction to her anymore and vice-versa, that they went on trips the two of them after breaking up and sleeping in the same bed but nothing ever happened. I cannot believe this a second. But he keeps trying to convince me with this whenever we talk about it. I feel that she is always there and always will be. We had an argument recently and he brought up the fact that “he deprived himself from a relationship with her” that “he lost a friend for me” and that really did hurt. Today in our relationship he does not have any interaction with her, but I feel insecure in this relationship after those words. I know it’s difficult to say not being in the situation, but do you have any advice on how to handle this situation ? How would you see things being in your full feminine energy? Thank you ♥️

You’re so right! Love your videos. Thank you.

I am thinking in the same way :) thank you for confirming l am not lunatic , love you 🤗

Wow on point. Thank you

Thanks for your words. I find myself in everything that you say. it is helping me a lot to face my lack of confidence and self estime.

Needed this now - ‘friend’ arriving tomorrow … wish me luck Thank you 🙏🏾 😊

I think everyone confuses "love" and "want" . you can and should be loved for who you are but just because i love you doesn't mean i want you. that's the selfish part you cant love everyone and so you most choose someone and you'll use what ever preferences you have, after you have been chosen tho eg been in a relationship a while yeah just forget all that insecure shit ive chosen you and love you for you, but that doesnt mean let your self go you should wanna be the best version of you for you and your so

Do you think number 3 applies to past friends that they're still friends with as well? Because I agree, but only if it's new "friends". My bf has female friends that I do not get that vibe from at all, at least on his end. Not to say he's not attracted/never has been, but that the relationship does not in any way violate our relationship boundaries and I think it's actually healthy that he's maintained those friendships. He also doesn't lie about any of the things you've mentioned, though I think most guys would (we have very open & honest communication about everything, to the point it hurts sometimes). I too have many guy friends (many more than he has girl friends) and I think the dynamic is similar. We are all friends with each other's friends. I would agree that if he all of a sudden makes a new female friend that he wants to spend time with, that would be fishy behavior, but I know he'd never do that (& if he did, it wouldn't last with us). But yeah, curious if you feel that applies to female friends that came before the relationship too.

pure gold Margarita.... you are pure gold... such an amazing insight again and fantastic humour... omg, best, ever! we can't thank you enough these videos!

Wizard liz part 2❤

Can you please do a video about jealousy and insecurity in a relationship? ❤️

Hi Margarita, You are a very wise woman. I enjoy your videos ! Keep them coming.

thanks, Margarita!

I cannoht agree more with the 3rd point.

My ex did this. When i first met him i felt like he wasn't that good looking. I was drawn to his confidence and success. But in time i thought he was so hot....shame that turned into underhanded comments to cut me down. I thought he would value me because on a numerical scale i would likely be seen as a much higher number but no. Now I'm watching your content trying to build myself up. I did let this man determine my worth, not intentionally but never again!

You are amazing!❤

Seriously love ur channel girlllll

Hahaha what a boss babe you are! Loved this.

I agree on every point.

the way i laughed with 1.500 woman and the wrestling thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely loooovve your videos!!! You are so inspirational and have really helped me in many many ways keep doing what you're doing.. would love to see you having your podcast in videos i have been listening to tour podcasts on spotify every Tuesdays! Xxx

Spot on!

You are absolutely my new faaaav! I adore you and I swear we would be besties!! We really would!

Thank you, Margarita.

Thank you for this! I wanna your thoughts on the difference how men treat friends and their lover. Thank you!!

Truth could not be sometimes straight forward . It can be sometimes in form manipulation because truth is complex sometimes. It’s not the words, but its what points to .

My ex never would comment or like on my things about us on social media yet he commented on a bartenders selfie saying “love you ❤️❤️” and I called him out on it and he told me I was reading too much into things and that he hates social media. I know this bartender and she is very nice and well liked by everyone he claimed I was jealous and we’re in a long distance relationship so I was feeling a bit jealous because I know he spends a lot of nights there and she got to spend more time with him than I did. He claimed she had no interest in him besides serving him beverages but he never said if he had interest in her but I feel in my gut he does. He even said in front of me while at the bar that it’s always a good time when she (the bartender) is there working. He was surprised I was serious about this when I told him this makes uncomfortable, he acted like I was being ridiculous. We broke up 2 weeks ago after a year of dating long distance, we’d see each other every 2 weeks but I think we both just lost interest in this relationship. I think Margarita is so right when she said guys aren’t just friends with women just because.