"There is nothing manly about suffering in silence". Profound! Braving your own internal struggles is one of the hardest and most masculine qualities I can imagine.

Can’t believe that men’s mental health is discouraged to talk about. Seen guys be laughed at and made fun of online because they talked about their problems. I hope there’s a day where guys can be vulnerable without having to be scared

A women and man crying is the exact same thing- both human beings-Love is the way

"I'd rather die than ask for help". This sentence makes absolutely no sense to people use logic to explain it. There is no logic. If you haven't experienced this kind of pain, you simply don't know. Very powerful video, thank you

I'm really grateful there are men like this who have the courage to start a much needed dialogue around mens mental health.

I love the continuing conversations surrounding mental health , especially as it concerns men. I lost my husband to suicide 6 years ago , I wish I was as educated then as I am now. I will also continue to try to raise my voice for the sake of our sons! Thank you for all that you do!

This guy is one of the most compassionate, sweetest humans I’ve ever had the honour of meeting and calling a friend. His message is powerful.

This man speaks with love and compassion to bring light to those men who are living in a place of suffering.

This man has helped me to raise my voice, and to continue to break down the walls around mental health issues. I consider myself extremely lucky to not only have met Al, but to call him a mentor and a friend... truly one of the most heartfelt and inspirational TED talks I've had the chance to watch.

I wanted to say thank you Allan for this message. I feel more motivated than ever to talk about my mental health and get help. There's something that saddens me to the highest degree. The world waited the suicides of millions of men to finally aknowledge their struggles. It makes me sooo sad...

A smile can mask alot of heartache

I'm really glad someone is talking about this, I truly worry for all the young men I know.

More people need to reach out and talk about their pain

The take home message for me, "Surround yourself with people who speak the same language'. Those who have had the same experiences are your best friends.

Thank you! We have a man's group started and I can say this has made such an amazing impact in their lives....and that means in the women who loves them as well

There is so much strength in vulnerability though, and the sense of connection and joy that comes with opening up to a person and being heard by them is truly wonderful.

Allan you are inspiration and the world needs to hear more of this message

This talk makes me hopeful though, that we're moving in the right direction and there are men out there who genuinely care about turning things around

This is such an important message - for all men and boys (and, really, for all of us!). Thank you, Alan, for your vulnerability - and for your hope! Together we will rise! The time is now!

So powerful!! A message so needed, reflecting vulnerability, courage and true strength.

It takes so much courage and bravery to be vulnerable and open with your emotions and when men are capable of doing that it is incredibly attractive. I wish more men understood this.

This is such an important message to bring to men. Talking is so very important. I wish my brother was here to listen to what you are saying. You are absolutely right when you say the time to talk is now!!

Sobriety for all, I have been off alcohol since New Years Eve and dropped weight too and my mood has lifted

Excellent as always Allan. Happy to see yiu on Tedx

Vulnerability equals strength ! Love it

I agree with Allan that listening when someone is ready to talk about their pain is very empowering for them.

I will be showing this to my boys. Thank you Allan !

This is why it's so important to encourage open and honest communication with all the men in your life, regardless of age. Let them know you can be the confidant they need.

Thank you for continuing to be vulnerable and share your story creating space for other's to share their stories.

Powerful talk, full of empathy

The world will never be the same because Allan Kehler was courageous enough to live his truth and share his message. An amazing message.

I was unaware of you visiting Moose Jaw. I hope to be able to be audience to one of your speaking engagements. Powerful, profound and heart opening. Thank you for your vulnerability. You are seen…heard.

Wow. I am SO glad I watched this. A few weeks ago Joe Roberts introduced me to Allan... And I am SO glad he did. Allan and I then had a Zoom call and became quick friends. Allan, this is well done, my friend. I can't wait for our next conversation! 🙏

Opening up to others about your pain is the most difficult things to do when you're deep in overwhelm.

Vulnerability breeds Vulnerability! So powerful! Thank you for speaking your truth so that other men may realize it's ok to do so.

Mens mental health - such an important conversation in todays world.

Yes absolutely take every opportunity to let someone know you can be their safe space. They might not take you up on it right away but when they're ready, they will.

A smile can hide a 1000 worries

I feel so sorry for those who have had the kinds of experiences that leave them with such little trust in the humans around them that they could never open up and explore their feelings or even who they truly are.

EXCELLENT!

Amazing I’ve shared with co-workers!

Very well addressed. Thank you

that story about collapsing in the hallway at school is rough. it makes me happy to see that Allan was able to change his life.

Thanks for sharing what you went through and being vulnerable and doing that in front of a huge audience and also for all of us to listen on KZfaq. I appreciate you man

I struggle with my mental health. Everyday is a battle. When Allan said “i never wanted to be fixed, I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard” I felt that heavily. Being alone with no one to understand me is the worst feeling

If we saw someone with their head on a table crying in despair we would offer a shoulder to cry on, no matter what.. Simple human kindness towards another is so needed right now

Very important topic Mr Kehler. Thanks for bringing to the forefront

Important talk Allan, well done for getting it out there, many many men in particular need to hear more of this, thanks for taking the lead, we appreciate you

That picture told a story top me. Thanks for sharing it

I had never told anyone about my mental state and about my depression. I was watching these videos yesterday to gain motivation to keep going. And I can’t explain it other than a sign from god because today out of the blue my friend texted me that he had noticed I wasn’t myself lately. He did a checkup which no one ever had before. Thank you for your video you saved my life.

A powerful and important message, and one that I needed to hear. I feel so much more empowered to talk about my mental health after listening to Allan and hearing him share his story.

Vulnerability + Strength

I love saying "I see you" to people I work with when they've done something really cool but I've never thought about saying it to someone whose not having the best time. I think I will from now on.

Bless you! Thank you for your wisdom and for creating a safe space for men to share their stories! Thank you for being you!!

Hey guys, I have been struggling with my mental illness my entire Life... I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD Depression and Anxiety. I took a step back from working so I get can get better and work on my self to be more competent when I get back to work. Now i got a call today from my Immobilien agency that i have to get out of my Apartment in 1 week even though we agreed that i can stay. But now she told me I have to leave because I am unemployed... But I told her the reason for its because of my mental health and I have do have the money for the rent because or my savings ... She laughed and said "its not my problem" i started crying because I dont want to be homeless right now when everything is going up hill with my mental health. It seems she was enjoying my pain on the phone and was playing games with me and being passive aggressive. I dont know what to anymore... I cant be homeless its my down fall and i tried to get help but nobody will take me seriously. I guess i have to just punch through being homeless for a while until i get my new job. Thanks for reading my friend and greetings from Germany!

There are a lot of factors to mental health and a lot of the behaviors we're taught as men, and as boys growing up is just so counter productive in terms of achieving a stable mindset. When you're conditioned to tuck your feelings deep down it can be very confronting when they bubble over - a lot of the time this is expressed as anger because apparently that's the only one men are allowed to have. Wild. Nice to see men like Allan out here working to change that.

Definitely sharing this one Allan, thank you for having the courage to talk about all this.

Well done Allan!! I love your books and work!! Thank you for your bravery!! You are making a difference in this crazy world. Thanks for all you and your wife do!!

Thank you for your authenticity and vulnerability! Brilliant Brave Message Allan!

LOVE THIS!!

Thanks for sharing Allan, great talk

Attitudes to mental health are changing for the better and the stigma around depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder is not what it was five or ten years ago.

Bravo Al! Keep sharing your message and leading the conversations

Thankfully all the parents I know raising boys are doing a fantastic job at teaching them it's okay to express how they're feeling.

Such an important message

Well said

Love this talk

As a mother of three young boys I'm so grateful for the increase in attention that this subject is getting.

Fantastic talk, Allan. I'm glad we're moving towards a world where men feel they can be open with their emotions, although there's still a long way to go, it gives me hope.

Insightful and incredibly valuable.

I'm curious to know more about Allans approach to smashing the barriers that prevent men from reaching out for help. How can we as a society encourage men to seek support and break free from harmful stereotypes?

Men's reluctance to discuss their feelings is rooted in societal expectations... Creating a safe space for them to open up and let them know they're allowed to talk about what's going on emotionally would be a really great first step towards changing that expectation

Mental health issues are the real pandemic and talks like this raise more awareness and get discussions started

"See me!" That's a hard one, thats a very hard one!

I have been facing many struggles related to depression and I know for a fact that many of you faced similar problems, THIS IS WHY I started a mental health newsletter for men where I bring studies, past experiences, how did I solve my problems ,etc.

Great talk Allan

Big hug!

So much of this comes down to the way men are socialized and what they're taught as they grow up and I really hope that as the men from this generation start having children they will start raising them differently.

The fact that this video only received 51k views and 124 comments tells you all you need to know about how much women and society really care about men.

The fact that this has a viewer discretion says a lot about society not caring about men's mental health stay up kings.

I think the divide between men and women has really ramped up over the last decade or so too... Both sides acting like they have it worse than the other without ever acknowledging the difficulties the other has and it's just causes so much animosity that neither want to support the other anymore.

Awesome!!!

Loves

“together we must rise” “together,we will rise,the time to talk about men and mental health,is now”💕

For a lot of people they are way down the road to depression by the time they become aware they need help.

Men of my father's generation were brought up to be stoic and never show emotion. I wonder if that's why many were alcoholics and abused their wives or children?

I was raised to express my feelings. Needless to say I was in for a *RUDE* awakening when I grew up…

It’s sad so see that this is age restricted. Why, this is helpful

Thank you for sharing this. This is 100% true. The conversation about mens mental health is now. It has to happen.

Allan's got the right of it here. I've seen how this affects the men in my family

Ah, the age-old debate: getting punched in the face or discussing feelings? Tough choice, but I'll take a punch any day. Saves me from those awkward heart-to-heart conversations!

It's also just tough for men to be vulnerable around one another - no guarantee that it's a 'safe space'

Take home message for me. "There's nothing manly about suffering in silence" something I'm going to try and work on.

It is our lineage - to be strong and silent and swallow a teaspoon of cement to harden up.

Poor Murray [5:39] shocked that it took him 3 days to come to his senses and go back to his family. One of the first stages of AA is acknowledging that you need help.

My best friend's 30 year old son took his life which came as a huge shock to everyone who knew him. The life of the party always smiling and happy but underneath clearly distressed and unable to reach out for help.

Its ok not be ok

happy to see a talk about mens' mental health that doesn't focus on vilifying women.

i dont know, you talk and they talk. you news will spread faster than anything out there.

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