Middle Ground: Should You Cut Ties With an Addicted Family Member?

Middle Ground: Should You Cut Ties With an Addicted Family Member? | Middle Ground

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4 жыл бұрын

For behind the scenes of this season of Middle Ground, head over to our INSTAGRAM: 👉 / jubileemedia 👈
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@jubilee 4 жыл бұрын

Goodhumans! Thanks for watching season 7 of Middle Ground. Each season takes an incredible amount of thought, hard work, and care, and it's all worth it because you all continue to watch and support. For a behind the scenes look at the making of this season, go to our Instagram! instagram.com/jubileemedia

@phant0m0th_ 4 жыл бұрын

Jubilee would love to see one of these for mental illness 2 sides and people with eating disorders and without.

@mels3958 4 жыл бұрын

I saw another comment elsewhere suggesting that the participants are blindfolded before answering and raise their hands, because they might feel some peer pressure. It does seem to be the case sometimes.

@willgazlay5711 4 жыл бұрын

Can you stop calling people “humans?” That’s just weird.

@JaredStJean 4 жыл бұрын

Jubile, I love your Middle Ground videos. May you make a Catholics vs. Protestants videos. It will be very interesting seeing how Catholics describe their faith after the Notre Dame fire in Paris and if that helped their faith

@Mackenzie865 4 жыл бұрын

Y’all should do Middle Ground: Light Skin vs. Dark Skin. I am a dark skinned black girl and am curious to see the results

@berrystically 4 жыл бұрын

The girl with the alcoholic father? Somebody hug her pls

@howdyimheather 4 жыл бұрын

berryjournals i knowwwww i was literally just about to comment that :(

@ryankennelly8582 4 жыл бұрын

lol she has like 50 piercings u can rlly tell she has a fcked up life

@august4114 4 жыл бұрын

Her posture and face tells so much about her mental state to, low self-esteem and certainly a victim of abuse.

@berrystically 4 жыл бұрын

@@ryankennelly8582 lol what? I didn't know piercings were a parameter of happiness lmao

@howdyimheather 4 жыл бұрын

RnE Gaming she might just like piercings lol

@brieannabernier399 4 жыл бұрын

"As long as there is breath, there is hope" that line was so powerful

@bodyofhope 4 жыл бұрын

Yes. It made the girl who lost her sister cry. I felt that. 😥

@maryfariyibi9619 4 жыл бұрын

It’s a bible verse. It made me so emotional when said that 😭

@al3xis777 4 жыл бұрын

@@maryfariyibi9619 Wow I never knew that. I would always hear this at meetings too.

@lejlacehic269 4 жыл бұрын

It's a Latin saying: "Dum spiro spero" which means "as long as i'm breathing, i'm hoping"

@bodyofhope 4 жыл бұрын

Ecclesiastes 9:3-5

@hansori1286 4 жыл бұрын

off topic but i like how the prompts now stay on the screen throughout the whole discussion

@nanniro1546 4 жыл бұрын

Me too i was just about to say this

@ikeplumo3377 4 жыл бұрын

your like 4 episodes late

@hansori1286 4 жыл бұрын

Jay Towerz i know they’ve just started doing it for the spectrum series but this is the first time they’ve left the prompt on screen for middle ground, also, it’s “you’re”* xx

@studiorose11 4 жыл бұрын

Shekinah Golden good. I listen very often without watching, I’ve always wished the prompt person was also on mic

@FreeRadicals9478 4 жыл бұрын

I wish they would use a better mic for the questions. They seem muted and sometimes I listen instead of watch and miss them.

@0bd00 4 жыл бұрын

I'd love to see a similar convo between suicide-attempt survivors and suicide survivors (family/friends of those who successfully took their lives). jubilee has tackled suicide but not as a conversation between both of these groups, especially survivors who may overlap between both. missing out on a real opportunity of "empathy" here.

@TiffanyOkoye 4 жыл бұрын

This would be so good!!

@tlourott 4 жыл бұрын

great idea

@sanne8287 4 жыл бұрын

Miguel Hernandez how is that the same thing? If someone you love kills themselves that’s obviously really hard to deal with, what’s wrong with calling those people suicide survivors?

@s.rose16 4 жыл бұрын

@@sanne8287 I understand what they are saying. The people didn't survive suicide themselves unless they attempted and got help. It is different being on the outside instead of the person actually committing. It would be an interesting conversation though

@bodyofhope 4 жыл бұрын

@Miguel Hernandez if you attempt suicide and it fails, you are a survivor of suicide. You attempted to end your life, but instead you survive. Does that make sense to you sweetheart? (Firefighters voluntarily go into fires, so it's not the same. Soldiers go into combat voluntarily, that's why we don't call soldiers "war survivors." We call Firefighters who were injured on the job "burn victims" and soldiers recovering from the trauma of battle, "trauma survivors.")

@bregieirofernandes 4 жыл бұрын

“You can’t want it more than he wants it for himself” this is so true and so powerful

@ExistentialIzzy 4 жыл бұрын

@Amy Fleming Unsure. The only Erin I know of is the "that's not vegan" person I heard about until I finally ran across the video. Unless there's another one, I'm unsure.

@ryugo7713 4 жыл бұрын

Bring back Chad

@josephdahdouh2725 4 жыл бұрын

@A G well, your story tells me that you were not supportive to him, he wasn't to you. This was bound to happen, you had no hope for your father's recovery... but I get it.

@tatejones3164 4 жыл бұрын

@A G I relate to this. I'm happy that you gave up trying to help him and are reclaiming your own life. much love

@prochey69 4 жыл бұрын

Oh god I hope the girl who's father is addicted gets some support. Listening to her talk about his benders really breaks my heart, I'm so sad for her and her mother.

@DragonDDark 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, hope her dad recovers and she gets the life she deserves.

@ohmytobiii7562 4 жыл бұрын

What's a bender?

@MrForsar 4 жыл бұрын

Oh My a binge of alcohol.

@ohmytobiii7562 4 жыл бұрын

@@MrForsar thanks :)

@Schizohandlers 4 жыл бұрын

@@ohmytobiii7562 let's go on a bender

@boorish2115 4 жыл бұрын

the hardest thing about cutting someone off is being scared of the guilt you'd feel if they OD'd or committed suicide. how could I ever forgive myself? I know it's not my responsibility but the feeling of guilt would be unbearable.

@tylerisntasheep6854 4 жыл бұрын

“You are not responsible for the dysfunction of others”

@lilbitofeverythin6894 4 жыл бұрын

@@tylerisntasheep6854 but it's so hard to actually execute that, I would totally blame myself

@Justin-fx7mr 4 жыл бұрын

I agree, in these types of situations being a family member to an addict is lose lose.

@sak08002 4 жыл бұрын

I agree as well. It’s so hard, you don’t want to let them go unless you believe the will live through it. The concept of cutting ties makes sense, but so hard to do. And yeah I’d rather call the police on them than let them die like guy in the video said.

@knowethjc29 4 жыл бұрын

When they physically abuse you over and over again you have to cut them off, You cant help them anymore. Its up to them.

@slimkt 4 жыл бұрын

I wish they would’ve talked a bit more about how difficult it is to cut ties with a loved one that’s an addict. My brother was like this big gold star of a human to me. When his alcoholism got so bad that he was self-destructing before my eyes, I was so disillusioned. I tried to hold onto that golden boy for so long until I realized that we were just enabling his addiction. He got sober and is doing well for himself now, but I still feel guilty for cutting him off all those years ago.

@TheChickenRiceBowl 4 жыл бұрын

Does he know that?

@somedude172 4 жыл бұрын

as an addict, i wanted to let you know that you cutting him off might have been what made him realize he needed to sober up. you loved him and did what you could, but you have to do whats best for you at the end of the day. if you cant handle an addict in your life, what else are you supposed to do? definitely let him know how you feel about it, bc its always nice to be reassured that people around you are always trying to do whats best for you, but try to let go of that guilt if you can. hes sober now, and yall are back together, which is all that matters

@user-sg7ro7pt6s 4 жыл бұрын

You don’t have to feel guilty anymore, you were just doing what’s right for you, it clearly doesn’t reflect how much you love him at all. You can let go of that guilt

@MrEd8846 4 жыл бұрын

im an alcoholic and. i think the important thing with cutting ties is always leaving that door open if they need help. but the only help you should be giving them is a way to get them clean and sober. when my family gave me money first place i went was to buy more booze. when i needed a place to stay my family let me live there for free for a while and all i did was take advantage of the free rent and not offering to help them at all and not appreciating the help they thought would help get me off my feet. so its like.... yeah you can offer help but it kind of has to be a ultimatum and they have to want it. one of my friends says it hurts him a lot because he had to tell his grandson that he didnt want him around unless he took a piss test first. and he doesnt do it because he doesnt like his grandson. he does it because he doesnt like the disease and he just cant be around it because his sobriety goes before everything in his life

@peanutbutter4649 4 жыл бұрын

Glad he is doing better now don’t feel to guilty

@mimi_n_emi8382 4 жыл бұрын

Some people don't have a "rock bottom".. My sister was dying and because she was scared she continued to use.. I lost my sister july 3rd 2018 and it breaks my heart every day that i couldn't do more than i did to make her better.. Rip Lizzy I'll always love u..

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry for your loss 💞

@darkritual951 4 жыл бұрын

💖

@xzclaire 4 жыл бұрын

I lost my dad to alcoholism in 2017 and wish I could of helped him more but change only comes from the person really its difficult

@adrianakatalina2702 4 жыл бұрын

😢

@Solidude4 4 жыл бұрын

I'd say your sister had probably already hit rock bottom at that point. Rock bottom can go either way, either it forces you to change or you tell yourself that it couldn't get any worse, so why bother?

@marsmae766 4 жыл бұрын

The poor girl with the alcoholic father. It’s so easy to judge someone for enabling someone else but people usually don’t realize they are enabling the addict until they just can’t put up with it anymore. People get caught up in the addiction as much as the addict and both sides can be blind to the toxic cycle. My heart goes out to you.

@its.albert.510 4 жыл бұрын

Yeah that one really got to me

@Ufopatka 3 жыл бұрын

yes her and her mom need to redirect their focus onto themselves and go therapy asap

@turtlesarefantastic9620 3 жыл бұрын

I wanna hug her I think she needs one 🤗

@dontperceiveme3025 4 жыл бұрын

I really like how they where all respectful and understanding. I especially liked the black man and how he was speaking so kindly and calm.

@runespaze 4 жыл бұрын

Probably because he’s seen both sides

@cejjce 4 жыл бұрын

@I'MDEprEssEdaNDqUIrkY Chill out. I'm black and I know that everyone sees color. The OP didn't degrade him at all for being black. The offense should only come when the person is using language that is demeaning based on skin color rather than identifying a person on that specific feature (which is politically correct and okay).

@majormayro 4 жыл бұрын

I'MDEprEssEdaNDqUIrkY people shouldn’t be color blind to race. There’s nothing wrong with seeing someone of color and referring to them as such if you do not know them (as long as it’s not racist or degrading).

@cejjce 4 жыл бұрын

@I'MDEprEssEdaNDqUIrkY Didn't you know that Colorblindness to race is a form of racism. It ignores the true racial issues at hand by ignoring race as an entity. Look up colorblind racism.

@krazykrazy14100 4 жыл бұрын

@I'MDEprEssEdaNDqUIrkY So what if I said "I like what the white man said on this question" in order to differentiate him from the black man? Am I being racist? Should I have said "The younger/older man" instead? Sure I could've double checked their names but youtube won't let me leave comments mid way on my phone... There is nothing wrong with identifying people by their color. I'm sure that man is proud to be a black man, so why is it wrong to call him so? No one is degrading him, in fact he was being praised for his kindness and knowledge. The only one seeing the color of skin as racist is you.

@remembertoloveyourselftoda4015 4 жыл бұрын

I'm worried about Kristiana and her mother. Please be safe.

@xenia_maria 4 жыл бұрын

the older bald man is right. people don’t understand what addiction actually is which is why the conversations are difficult to have. it has nothing to do with the substance (can be alcoholism, food addiction, opioids) it’s literally a mental illness that can manifest in different ways

@janpieterszooncoen2550 4 жыл бұрын

and addicts don't understand the things they're doing to their loved ones.

@treytona.1814 4 жыл бұрын

Jan Pieterszoon Coen often it’s the family members that pushed them into addiction

@jadalynrowland3863 4 жыл бұрын

Jan Pieterszoon Coen Agreed. It hurts to just sit back and watch and not be able to do anything about it.

@ihavetwoturtles8166 4 жыл бұрын

The old bald man has a name. And it's Derrick.

@thetenz 4 жыл бұрын

addiction is just a way to deal with mental problems, self doubt ... But addiction is also a choice u make. You should always be thoughtful in life and addicts, most of the time, didn’t think this way to deal with problems through. All the sadness and frustration your relatives feel, you could prevented that. So never ever think that drugs or other things are a solution. It’s difficult to master life and all its ass aspects, but we all can do it. If you hurt your own health or other people health (mental included) than stop what you’re doing and get help from people that already dealt with your problem.

@catapillargirl2021 4 жыл бұрын

This group was very respectful toward one another & I feel like everyone was heard.

@justingaga84 4 жыл бұрын

My favorite saying heard throughout the rooms of AA/NA & rehab is "you hit rock bottom whenever you decide to put the shovel down."

@Justin-fx7mr 4 жыл бұрын

Aura Khaos What does this mean to you? That you decide when enough is enough?

@justingaga84 4 жыл бұрын

@@Justin-fx7mr Exactly. Everyone can take control and decide to make that change. I'm an addict. Been addicted to heroin for nearly a decade. Been sober on and off. But the idea that someone needs to be at a stereotypical "rock bottom" before they'll be ready to get help is nonsense. Your rock bottom can be where you're currently at...so set the shovel down and stop digging a deeper hole. Because is there really such a thing as "rock bottom?" Things can seem bad, but if you're still breathing, than things can always get WORSE.

@DynomiteKid65 4 жыл бұрын

@@justingaga84 so are you an addict still?

@justingaga84 4 жыл бұрын

@@DynomiteKid65 Well, I'll always be an addict, but if the question is whether or not I'm still currently using, then yes. I was sober recently for 2 years, but did have a relapse.

@justingaga84 4 жыл бұрын

@I'MDEprEssEdaNDqUIrkY I just passed to age of 26, so I no longer have insurance...it sucks. I am actively looking for alternatives, but rehab scholarships are very hard to come by, and community ran programs have wait times for a bed opening that are beyond belief 😔

@sydseecharan3033 4 жыл бұрын

Can you all have a spectrum about people who were or are in toxic relationships preferably mentally or emotionally toxic

@KarJaneDavis 4 жыл бұрын

syd seecharan oh yes! That’ll be good & emotional.

@roorooroo368 4 жыл бұрын

I’d love to see this

@isabellaperez7203 4 жыл бұрын

This would hit close to home. It would break my heart to watch but also interesting to hear other stories because it’s not acknowledged as much as physical abuse when it can be just as serious.

@boogiethokno 4 жыл бұрын

interesting idea but what is the versus here? Maybe Toxicity versus "by any means necessary" relationships?

@sydseecharan3033 4 жыл бұрын

@@boogiethokno The style I'd like to see is more one-sided so for instance "Do All Pro Gamers Think The Same" rather than toxicity versus the other side.

@TheDarkradio 4 жыл бұрын

“Rock bottom” is a reality based on the perception of the addict. True rock bottom is suicide/death. As long as your breathing there’s always opportunity for new life. Loved that phrase.

@ceceruben6113 4 жыл бұрын

Or losing your kids wife job roof over your head etc.

@ecstaticblues 4 жыл бұрын

You don’t have to die to hit rock bottom. When you hit rock bottom, there’s no where else left to go but up. You can hit the bottom of a cliff, but that doesn’t mean you die. You can give up, stay there and die or find a way out.

@tiffprendergast 4 жыл бұрын

Gabe Saldana yup

@jordanweber5351 4 жыл бұрын

“It doesnt mean I love him any less it’s just -“ and then the sound hits and everyone comes in....what kind of cut was that?? 😂

@jay-leevanderberg8174 4 жыл бұрын

Jordan Weber maybe it got too personal and she wanted it cut?

@jordanweber5351 4 жыл бұрын

Jay-Lee van der Berg definitely possible. But theyve gotten pretty damn personal on this channel in the past. I just thought it was a funny cut

@elliedrama46 4 жыл бұрын

Jordan Weber sounds like he's a manipulator and she's still drinking the koolaid.

@livelaughlisten14 4 жыл бұрын

I got an ad break right at that moment, I thought that’s why it skipped lol

@sparklypri 3 жыл бұрын

@Jennetteish - the point of this channel is to showcase diverse views from many different people and to encourage empathy. if the girl wanted it to be cut out or they felt it might've been too personal, they would've edited it. and yea, the time constraint issue might be a thing, however, i dont think they would've thought too much of it, if it was valuable to put in the video

@respiir 4 жыл бұрын

The rock bottom thing scares me. Addiction isn’t always a hole, sometimes it’s a cliff. A very delicate situation where rock bottom becomes an edge that they fall over.

@AaronHatcher 4 жыл бұрын

Yep. It's a risk. But many people take risk everyday and make decisions that they could die from every single day.

@Sul516 2 жыл бұрын

Yes. Sometimes you OD before you even realize you were right at the edge

@hannahsackin2146 Жыл бұрын

after spending years thinking about what rock bottom might be- i think it’s death for me.

@Kittygory 4 жыл бұрын

This by far is my favorite episode. I’ve never been an addict nor a loved one of any addict so it’s really interesting to see what others are going through and it really makes me extremely grateful for my life. I wish all addicts and loved ones the best❤️

@maddrosegunn7336 4 жыл бұрын

That's awesome that you're so open minded even though you can't relate. Gratitude is powerful! Keep it up! 💗

@thomasreedy4751 4 жыл бұрын

You are very lucky. I hope it never happens to you - either side. If you use drugs or alcohol, realize that you are playing Russian Roulette. It is not worth it. Heavy use is so common in our society that the line of addiction is pretty blurred. I will never drink alcohol again. It's not because I can't stop. It's because I know the damage that can be done by those who can't. I don't ever want to be that person. A buzz is not worth it.

@Kittygory 4 жыл бұрын

Thomas Reedy my country has extremely strict rules for alcoholic drinks and drugs and they’re trying to ban Jules and cigars pretty soon to avoid the problem of getting addicted. That’s one of the biggest things that I’m most proud of of my country. You really don’t need unhealthy habits to get in your hands when you’re feeling a certain mood in which you would ever feel like you need them.

@Kittygory 4 жыл бұрын

maddrose gunn that means so much to me thank you❤️

@parentpatrol2752 4 жыл бұрын

@@Kittygory Trump is trying to ban vapes.

@smr9084 4 жыл бұрын

“I am not an addict. But try and love one and then look me square in the eyes and tell me that you didn’t get addicted to trying to fix them. If you’re lucky, they recover. If you’re really lucky, you recover too.”

@pinkfreak120 4 жыл бұрын

This, right there, hit close to home. My dad has been an addict and I spend years praying that he'd get better. As I grew up, I became addicted to toxic people and I think a part of it was trying to fix them.

@Ufopatka 3 жыл бұрын

its called codependency

@machinimafanboy100 4 жыл бұрын

I remember seeing Morgan in the "Do all addicts think the same" video, he seems like he's doing well and I'm happy for him!

@sean_mccadden 4 жыл бұрын

I actually kinda know him. I worked with his company in the past. Haven’t talked to him in quite some time but he’s a really nice guy and his company seems to be doing well even considering whats going on

@Igboman87 3 жыл бұрын

I thought that was him.

@owlfx4741 4 жыл бұрын

I feel bad for the loved ones the most, they get affected so much seeing some of their loved ones changing and they try their hardest to stop them until they just can’t no more

@alexandracamacaro4544 4 жыл бұрын

For me the love ones have it the worse, because they only get the negative consequences of it. At least the addicts have the "enjoyment" of their substance.

@akoya1706 4 жыл бұрын

Alexandra Camacaro I don’t think it’s healthy or fair to say who has it worst.

@casperr1299 4 жыл бұрын

Alexandra Camacaro thats assuming all Addicts have loved ones. . Sometimes that’s why people become addicts and drugs are the only thing keeping them from barring the reality of life which brings them feelings of extreme agony and suicidal tendencies

@jadecrosley4420 4 жыл бұрын

I'm a recovering heroin addict and I agree that some loved ones have it worse. When the loved ones feel bad they just have to deal with it and find some way to cope on their own. But when the addicts feel bad they get to go use. Not to mention all the lying and stealing the loved ones have to deal with from the addicts. But addiction is not a choice. And if anyone reading this has someone close to them that is addicted, be patient and loving, but do not enable.

@halloumi420 4 жыл бұрын

Pretty sure addicts have it worse when they're ruining their mind, body and emotional state. The family is suffering but nowhere near as much.

@amarachim3038 4 жыл бұрын

“You never no what you put someone through you only know how you feel” deeeep

@ushjaba1067 4 жыл бұрын

Know*

@Renu981 4 жыл бұрын

Every single thing the girl said about her alcoholic father is spot on with me and my alcoholic father

@teddy.3225 4 жыл бұрын

Same.

@CanyonALynn 4 жыл бұрын

I had gone through the same thing with my father. I just want to hug her so bad.

@AaronHatcher 4 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry I hope things get better. Just please don't ever drink

@TimoScheiler 4 жыл бұрын

Whish u all the best with it.

@arieladolphsen9658 3 жыл бұрын

Same. It was tough to watch this and as much as I wish other people didn’t have to go through the same thing I do it’s comforting to know I’m not alone.

@moth4514 4 жыл бұрын

my mom was on drugs so i wouldnt let her see me on my birthday and she OD'd and died that night now i hate my birthday even more

@jensyd1168 4 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry, remember it wasn't your fault, don't feel guilty or beat yourself up about it. x

@moth4514 4 жыл бұрын

@@jensyd1168 I mostly know that but I do have harder days usually around winter with dealing with it, thank you for the reminder

@allylando3777 4 жыл бұрын

Jenny mcbrown hey I’m so sorry. That’s awful and no one should have to go through that. Please keep your head up.

@karenmejia2619 4 жыл бұрын

That is so sad MOTH, my heart goes to you, I've been afraid of this exact thing. I hope through the years it will hurt a little less. Because what else? You didn't deserve the unfortunate events. I hope for your strength and maybe one day during your birthday you will find the peace to know it wasn't meant because of your actions but just that, an unfortunate event. It isn't your fault babe, celebrate your life each year proving your mom that its possible to live a full and content life as hard as life is for all. But you can do it, you fight to figure out how you can love. Hugs & kisses from someone who still fears every day & the possible news of my parents being here no longer. Keep your head high and don't loose who ever you are and are meant to be. God bless kid.

@nandinishah1709 4 жыл бұрын

I'm so sorry, I hope the pain eases soon. It wasn't your fault.

@willowxx6648 4 жыл бұрын

As a child of 2 drug addicts that I had to cut out of my life because they refused help and tried to draw me in I really appreciate this.....

@jazzyjazz2673 4 жыл бұрын

“As long as there’s breath, there is hope”

@serabi_ 4 жыл бұрын

"As long as there's breath there's hope" god that one hit HARD

@jj125 4 жыл бұрын

Would love to see a conversation with Derrick. He must have an interesting story to tell.

@melly302 4 жыл бұрын

I feel for Kristiana.... she feels like she has no right to tell her dad how she feels... I have a brother that is addicted and I’ve learned you do have to put yourself first. I was always so scared for him and blamed myself but it’s not my decision and I can only do so much. I wish she could come to terms with that and know her feelings matter too.

@V1CT0RY 4 жыл бұрын

Melinda Sue word, my older brother is like that too, he doesn’t bother me anymore because he knows I feel about it. Hurts to watch, but it’s what they choose to do.

@TheGameprogirl 4 жыл бұрын

I hope Kristiana really takes their advice to heart. She was the only one on that stage that still had an addict in their lives and I love how everyone was trying to help.

@lyss5397 3 жыл бұрын

I relate to Kristiana 100%. My dad was addicted to pain killers and had bad depression. At one point, we decided to give him “tough love” and hope he got better. Feb 26, 2020 he took his own life. I’ll never forgive myself for turning my back on him. I wish I could have supported him and helped him get better myself. 😔

@fewbronzegames 3 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that... i hope for the best for you

@jennyreed3331 4 жыл бұрын

Damn, this episode really hit close to home. My mum was an alcoholic and she passed away in 2018 because of her addiction. My dad and I tried so hard for many years to help her and she went to 5 different rehab clinics. Eventually we both had to distance ourselves from her and unfortunately it resulted in her addiction getting worse until it eventually took her life. I felt so guilty for the longest time but I had to do it because I couldn't handle all of the trauma anymore and it was really affecting my mental health. Just because someone is dragging themselves down, it doesn't mean that you have to go with them.

@teddy.3225 4 жыл бұрын

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I know the feelings of guilt when it comes to picking your own mental health. It's not at all easy.

@STMARTIN009 4 жыл бұрын

Sorry for your loss and that you had to go through that. It becomes toxic in families. My wife has been dealing with it for years with her father. He stopped for a 9 year stretch and has been back at it for a couple of years now. She has had enough and does not want to be around him. There is not much you can do. The person has to want to get better.

@tiffprendergast 4 жыл бұрын

Jenny Reed sorry

@lbigirl2001 3 жыл бұрын

Same thing happened with my mom Jenny. They loved us. Stay positive!!

@hopesworld0113 4 жыл бұрын

I loved how “grown up” these people are, it was a real conversation

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for covering this. I grew up with an alcoholic father who drank himself to death when I was 12 years old. I find this topic really hard to talk about because there are so many difficult emotions and so much stigma surrounding it. I hope everyone who has experience with addiction can find some hope and understanding in this video ❤

@markjz708 4 жыл бұрын

We are almost the same, I'm 14 and my father is on the verge of death due to alcohol addiction. This topic triggered my feelings once again, I hope everyone that has experience with addiction can find people who will help them get out of their chains. Love lots!

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

@@markjz708 I'm sorry you have to go through that, it's really painful. If you haven't already, please reach out to an adult you can talk to, like a relative, a teacher or a school nurse. You deserve to be heard and supported!!

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

@Miguel Hernandez So you think sharing personal experiences and offering kindness to others is pathetic but writing negative comments to complete strangers is not?

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

@Miguel Hernandez I don't owe you any explanations about my life, much like you don't owe me any explanations about yours. I simply wanted to comment something supportive to others like me who have experience of addiction and are watching this video. I do volunteer work around similar themes and find that the loved ones of addicts often feel very isolated and alone. It can be reassuring to know that isn't the case ✌

@pinsandneedles3 4 жыл бұрын

@Miguel Hernandez I'm sure you will survive. Have a good rest of your day

@DearestRabbit 4 жыл бұрын

Oh I just started crying for that poor girl, the ways she talks it’s like she really blames herself for her father’s addiction. I want to hold her and protect her and her mother.

@mackenzie1845 4 жыл бұрын

this was a good and respectful episode. as someone who has been the "loved one" but also struggled with addiction i empathize with both sides.

@JessicaLynCVlogs 4 жыл бұрын

Miguel Hernandez it’s very sad that you spend your time invalidating others in attempt to validate yourself. it screams insecurity.

@bodyofhope 4 жыл бұрын

@Miguel Hernandez stop trolling. This is the third ugly comment I've seen from you on this section. Man, ppl are here struggling with addiction and their family members have passed away... not the place for this.

@JessicaLynCVlogs 4 жыл бұрын

Miguel Hernandez your behavior is gross and i’d prefer not to feed into your narcissistic entitlement. goodbye.

@123TurtlesILove 4 жыл бұрын

Miguel Hernandez your comments are not true for a multitude of reasons. children of addicts psychologically require a sense of control, and finding people within the comments of this video to confide in is cathartic, for you feel you arent relinquishing your control and admitting to your situation. it’s the reason programs like alateen and al-anon exist. i pity your small-mindedness to people who relate to this struggle whether explicitly or implicitly, and i hope you find kindness.

@123TurtlesILove 4 жыл бұрын

Miguel Hernandez it’s a good thing i’m not!

@dwaynejohnson3655 4 жыл бұрын

My cousin killed himself a week ago because of drugs. Thanks to that type of videos people are more concerned about similar subjects. Thank you for sharing this

@codeecomah5920 4 жыл бұрын

I have a friend that just killed herself a couple weeks ago. I feel u. It was a hard loss for everyone in our community.

@josh_harben1261 4 жыл бұрын

@bodyofhope 4 жыл бұрын

So sorry for your loss!!

@tiffprendergast 4 жыл бұрын

Dwayne Johnson sorry

@tiffprendergast 4 жыл бұрын

codee comah sorry

@JustGigi319 4 жыл бұрын

Cutting ties with a loved one with addiction is ALWAYS ok. Boundaries are important, and addicts will not only step across, they will pole vault over them - as many times as you let them get away with it. Sometimes self preservation is the only thing you can do. You can't change an addict, and you can't control an addict... but you CAN control your own behavior. Taking yourself out of the equation is sometimes the only answer.

@avreetjagdev 4 жыл бұрын

its so important when taboo topics like this one are spoken about. also, you never really get to hear from the loved ones of addicts and how they're affected. love this episode (:

@SKIM0H 4 жыл бұрын

"drugs or the alcohol" that sentence shouldnt even be a thing, it should be "drugs"

@brodhax6148 4 жыл бұрын

No. Alcohol is fine in moderation. All drugs are bad always.

@SKIM0H 4 жыл бұрын

Brodha Sattva and alcohol isn’t bad?????? yes all drugs are fine in moderation.

@ej9618 4 жыл бұрын

AGREED! I think alcoholism may be the worst addiction I’ve seen. Crazy

@SKIM0H 4 жыл бұрын

EJ it’s only the worst. because it’s so normalised. in today’s society it’s weird if you don’t drink alcohol......

@klauserji 4 жыл бұрын

Tobacco/smoking too. Lungs are created (either by god, or million years of evolution) to breath oxygen and excrete carbon dioxide, not smoke.

@Kamerenhigdon Жыл бұрын

I feel so horrible for the girl with the alcoholic father. The fear you hold as the child of an addict that if you’re honest something bad might happen is so horrific. Poor sweet baby.

@greenxmachine 4 жыл бұрын

I had to call 911 today because young man was ODing in the backseat of a car parked at the entrance of my condo complex. Whoever he was with pretty much left him to die, because they were scared to get caught up because there were lots of drugs in the car. The number of times I’ve witnessed someone ODing is really sad and there needs to be more awareness like this about addiction.

@JessicaLynCVlogs 4 жыл бұрын

it’s beautiful how empathic others are when they have experienced trauma. it really puts life in a different perspective and allows you to sympathize with those who may be going through a difficult time, similarly to what you may have once been going through.

@peaceplumbobs 4 жыл бұрын

it was amazing to see how they both supported each other so well - sometimes these videos end up in there genuinely being no middle ground - but here i feel like there most certainly was one

@Froward_Thinker 4 жыл бұрын

You should do "single mothers" and men being forced to pay child support.

@ChiChi-ns2ik 4 жыл бұрын

Yes that would be awesome

@lilblock3564 4 жыл бұрын

Yes!! Been waiting for that one.

@jessicamillen7479 4 жыл бұрын

Why is single mothers in quotes?

@Froward_Thinker 4 жыл бұрын

@@jessicamillen7479 because of the child support part.

@jessicamillen7479 4 жыл бұрын

@@Froward_Thinker that doesnt stop them being single 🤷‍♀️

@jasminewatson7190 4 жыл бұрын

Addiction ruins so many families it’s insane. My dad was addicted to crack, and it was so hard to let him back in my life after he was gone for 10 years. Addiction is a disease but it doesn’t help when those with the disease don’t want to cure it.

@dianalutzak6255 4 жыл бұрын

I love these videos but they’re too short! I think at least 25 minutes would be better. 15 minutes and they’ve just started to scrape the surface

@Em37666 3 жыл бұрын

I love that they mentioned medical addiction, while we talk about the opioid problem, we tend to avoid discussing doctors getting patients addicted to meds, pain killers, Benzos all kinds, my drs have had my addicted to cough syrup , muscle relaxers and klonopin all before I was even 18

@feliciaskye4541 4 жыл бұрын

The girl in the white tee really hit home for me. I can totally understand where she is coming from and it makes me cry thinking about it. The uncontroable anger, the nasty comments, physical abuse, having to hide away yourself in hopes they don’t find you and hurt you. Having to hide and call the police because of the violence. Throughout all of my middle and high school life that is what I went through. Its crazy how I feel very similarly to her and it’s sad to me that other people had to go through that too. My heart is with you hun❤️

@youradurf1297 4 жыл бұрын

This episode made me cry. Everyone was so genuine and respectful. I really hope that Kristianna and her family get to a place of safety and peace

@queerbabyegg 4 жыл бұрын

Watching this as someone who is both an addict and has loved ones who are addicts as well was interesting and quite emotional for me. I know that I have deeply hurt the people around me because of my addiction but I have also been hurt myself by others in my life struggling with their own addictions. It’s extremely difficult to be an addict while also having that understanding of what it’s like for the other side. It’s very hard and I really appreciated this video and their insights. I am currently working hard at my own recovery and I wish the best for everyone on their journey, it’s so difficult but not impossible.

@queerbabyegg 4 жыл бұрын

Also, if anyone sees this and would like someone to talk to, whether about your own struggles with addiction or to possibly gain some more understanding about the reality of loving someone with an addiction and how to cope, I would love to help in whatever way that I can.

@steelstrings87 4 жыл бұрын

You're not alone. It's so common to be on both sides of it because of the way addiction is passed down in families. We have so much hurt and unprocessed trauma from growing up with addicted caretakers and then in our adulthood we can end up reaching out for substances to cope with all of that because no other ways of coping were modeled for us. Much love and luck to you in your healing.

@BlairBryngelson 4 жыл бұрын

Everyone out here struggling: keep your head up, reach out to a loved one, and keep moving forward. Don't isolate!

@chickenfdisoruhg4915 4 жыл бұрын

Blair Bryngelson Word.

@misswongs 4 жыл бұрын

This hits too close to home. I grew up with an addict sister and she has brought so much pain and trauma to my life, i love her and i tried everything in my power to help her but nothing really worked, i know she loves me but she doesn't know how to love people anymore, on top of that she has a very conflictive personality so the drugs only magnified that part of her, so even if she's not currently consuming, the damage is done. I decided to step myself away from her because i'm the one who needs physiological treatment now and i wanna be at peace knowing that i tried to help her all my life, and in the end she is responsible of her own actions, if an addict doesn't allow their family to help them there's really nothing else you can do. Trying to save someone so firmly throughout your life can end up killing you. Sometimes letting go is the best choice, even if it hurts.

@marinaarias8313 4 жыл бұрын

I relate to the girl with the father so much. I am holding onto hope.

@agapeemenee 4 жыл бұрын

This one is rough... I lost my grandmother, great aunt, aunt, and mom to overdoses. My sister has been an addict since she was 15; we are 28. She’s now addicted to meth and has been missing since 2/6. I had to put distance between us 7 months ago and haven’t spoken to her since. I’m struggling so much with guilt. I tried everything to prevent this and regardless, it’s happened and there is nothing I can do. Addiction affects EVERYONE, not just the addict.

@tiffprendergast 4 жыл бұрын

allison s. Sorry

@4knewt505 Жыл бұрын

I hope things have gotten better

@maddiebell203 4 жыл бұрын

I love this so much, i wish i could have heard what the loved ones were saying before i went to rehab, it really changed my perspective

@kittycatcuties 4 жыл бұрын

This was really eye opening. I wish the best to all these people.

@brianna3275 4 жыл бұрын

12:40 “you are in as much of the addiction as the addict” as someone who also grew up around addiction, this really hit hards

@lililopes98 4 жыл бұрын

This was literally one of the chillest episodes I've seen in a while, no arguing, no raising voices, nothing... Just people having a normal conversation and actually agreeing on the most part of the prompts.... God bless, I wish all the best to each and every one of them 😊♥️

@evanh8759 4 жыл бұрын

Karens and fast food workers would be interesting

@fantasticandbeautifulvanes5852 4 жыл бұрын

I hope everyone in this spectrum and world one day will be able to say that they are healed from whatever caused them their pain as addicts and loved ones of addicts. I hope Morgan and Jessica will keep on being sober. I'm rooting for you guys, you are doing a good job so far.

@acshyne 4 жыл бұрын

i liked how they were giving each other advice. this was a really good one.

@Pa7NaSS 4 жыл бұрын

Ahbra looks SO MUCH like Cameron Diaz!

@PepsiT98 3 жыл бұрын

I was looking for this comment!

@paigeturner2251 3 жыл бұрын

Mixed with Jane Lynch

@christianbosse_ 2 жыл бұрын

I know this is old but there’s a lot of codependency in addict relationships. As someone who has been in Kristiana’s shoes, I can really see the codependency in her life. I hope she finds tons of healing and peace

@shaina6629 4 жыл бұрын

thank you for this. as a daughter of an alcoholic parent, it helped me

@tmac8911 4 жыл бұрын

Damn I feel bad for the young girl with an alcoholic dad. She’s got all that weight on her shoulders thinking she has to take care of him. It’s soooo sad 😞

@daphnelol 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this Jubilee, my family and I are going through this exact situation with my heroin addicted brother. I won't go into anymore detail, but this episode absolutely brought me to tears and I just want you to know that your content is so SO appreciated. Thank you Jubilee team.

@shelbyderidder965 4 жыл бұрын

I relate to the girl with the alcoholic father so much. I wish I could hug her. We’ve been through the same things and I don’t feel so alone anymore. Thank you for this video. It’s helped me a lot.

@mylifebelike4676 4 жыл бұрын

I have not talked to both my parents for a long time. I have my own family to protect and would NEVER let them come near my children. My father is an alcoholic and mother used meth.

@mfkq9459 4 жыл бұрын

Derrick is a good man god bless him

@17DeeSusie 4 жыл бұрын

I can relate to the girl with the alcoholic father almost exactly. I’m so glad I’m not alone in that situation 💔 I love my dad so much I just don’t know how much I can handle anymore. And my poor mother. Bless her soul. She has stuck around too long.

@katewine 4 жыл бұрын

this is probably my favorite episode of middle ground. a lot of positive and productive conversations thank you jubilee

@Riiisuu 4 жыл бұрын

You don’t understand how much I needed this episode

@ozziepants4963 4 жыл бұрын

I'm curious if you'd be willing to do something like "do all narcissists think the same?" or "narcissists vs people who've been in relationships with narcissists". Alternatively, BPD would be an interesting topic to see, as well. I know it's not the same at all, but the description of someone doing something to hurt others without being able to control / being aware of their actions, and how cutting them out can ultimately be the healthy choice, reminded me of some of the discussion in this video.

@ChronicallyCassidy 4 жыл бұрын

ozzie pants narcissists would never agree that they are narcissistic they think nothing is wrong with them

@Celestial.Divinity 4 жыл бұрын

Chronically Cassidy just like with anything else, it’s a spectrum and some are more self aware that others.

@KeeperOfKeys22 4 жыл бұрын

I'd don't know if they would actually get anywhere near in depth. Narcissist are sensitive when you go below the surface. I'd love a spectrum video around this topic all the same.

@notfunny1410 4 жыл бұрын

Chronically Cassidy not really. You can be self aware besides there are many different types of narcissism and narcissists

@nashleeelaiza1288 4 жыл бұрын

It’s SO important to be having these conversations. I love Middle Ground and Jubilee in general and i definitely thank and praise you for continuing to post these

@adrianramos9763 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Jubilee. I am not that much of an emotional guy, but as a loved one to an addict myself this video had me fighting back tears. I know not everyone can relate to every topic you guys come up with but knowing that at least one person is positively affected by your videos is why I've always enjoyed these and I'm happy this was the one for me.

@WhatSubYT 4 жыл бұрын

I wish they would’ve talked a bit more about how difficult it is to cut ties with a loved one that’s an addict.

@brittanybearg7559 4 жыл бұрын

In June it’ll be 3 years that my dad passed away from alcoholism/drug abuse. This episode hit me SO hard. I was bawling throughout this entire video. It was really hard for me growing up without a dad. I needed him there and he wasn’t. It hit me very hard because I was the only one out of my siblings who didn’t have my dad in my life at all. He abandoned me completely. I only had a relationship with him the last year of his life. It was the best and worst year of my entire life. It changed my whole world.

@oliviajoy3501 4 жыл бұрын

Oh, wow. My hurt really hurts for both the loved ones and the addicts (inside and outside of this episode). I feel so privileged/lucky to have never had addiction affect my life.

@thundercloud755 4 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Jubilee, for another beautiful video. Even though it can feel like you're suddenly at war with the person, this really highlighted how addicts and loved ones are for the most part not on opposite sides of the issue, but struggling together with a powerful and horrible condition.

@sak08002 4 жыл бұрын

The girl with the father has such a kind heart !! She’s been through so much with him and still cares for him so much

@Kaylamacc 4 жыл бұрын

I’ve lost too many family members due to drug abuse. This was interesting to watch! Thank you Jubliee for yet another interesting middle ground.

@joshuagodber7804 4 жыл бұрын

This has honestly helped me and my experience of being a loved one and hearing others in my situation as well as the other side. Thank you.

@HeyItsKyra77 4 жыл бұрын

Sending literally all my love to this group. You all deserve so much of it!!!

@maddigotnojams1964 4 жыл бұрын

“As long as there’s breath, there’s hope.” ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@najat1073 4 жыл бұрын

An addict is a person you love from a distance.

@snail1569 4 жыл бұрын

Happy Person what if it’s your own mom

@nefi7500 4 жыл бұрын

@@snail1569 That doesn't matter. You have to put boundaries and make your love conditional. Otherwise you'll 'nurse' their death. If you love them, you won't enable them. Don't give them money, a home, anything. I know it will put them in danger but that's on them. It is not your responsibility to 'fix' an addict. It's a hard choice and most of us aren't capable of letting them go and putting ourselves first.

@rnbear 4 жыл бұрын

15:43 "As long as there's breath there's hope." Wow. I love that so much and how incredibly comforting and reassuring it is to really let that sink in; especially for Kristiana and her father.

@paigeelizabeth6882 3 жыл бұрын

being the child of an alcoholic and drug addict parent, this video not only lets me relate to the loved ones in this video, but it was nice to hear the addicts’ perspective. Thank you Jubilee.

@joshuabaxter7031 4 жыл бұрын

Leaving an addict in active addiction, cutting ties, can also potentially completely drop the addict into a new rock bottom than what they currently would be experiencing. So yes, maybe in some situations cutting ties can be helpful. But in other situations it can be completely devastating to the addict. All of this is from an addict point of view, and for the wellbeing of the addict.

@istrangestudiosent.4759 4 жыл бұрын

So how do you know which one is the right choice?

@AJ-kq8mm 4 жыл бұрын

@@istrangestudiosent.4759 you don't. You just have to do what's best for you, and pray for them honestly

@elenatella 4 жыл бұрын

I see my mom wasting her life trying to help my little brother with his struggles. He's doing nothing to get better and he's violent toward my mom. She's not getting any younger and she's missing so many opportunities. The more time passes the more we're ok with the fact of cutting ties

@smr9084 4 жыл бұрын

Yes devastating, but you basically just described what enabling is. This codependency and fear allows for an addict to remain comfortable and therefore never want to change ... and therefore it’s actually harmful to the addict in the long run and harmful to those involved.

@jdoe3240 4 жыл бұрын

People can only take so much of someone's addiction. Cutting ties is imperative for one's peace of mind.

@_ianonymous_1726 4 жыл бұрын

I love Jessica’s accent🙌🏻

@katarinamannino2239 4 жыл бұрын

I love this one! It felt like being at an open meeting! It makes it easier for us loved ones to understand the addict so much more and it takes away some of the feelings of not being enough.

@bradleypenrith 4 жыл бұрын

This feels like it could be one of the deepest videos so far can't wait to watch

@lkm1743 4 жыл бұрын

You can tell Kristiana has been really hurt by her dad but loves him so much. Praying that he recovers ❤

@NOCLUEinvalid 4 жыл бұрын

15:30 i feel that. Too bad you can’t just numb negative emotions, you end up numbing the positive ones too.

@cooltoned5789 4 жыл бұрын

my brother overdosed a few years ago and my entire family are addicts. this was really affirming and comforting. thank you for bringing light to this issue.

@cmbeauty1327 4 жыл бұрын

This episode really hit home. I find myself having this debate about my father on a daily basis and it's the hardest thing I have to deal with in life. It really sucks man. Thanks for making this. It gave me a bit more insight on how to approach it better.