I wish we could show her the videos she’d be making a year later and how happy she becomes.

Ironic that you sold confirmed bisexual merch, I bought said merch, but turns out neither of us are bi. Glad we can both live our truths. Happy pride!

When I first watched this I was upset. Not because she’s gay. Not because the wedding. But because it made me look at my own sexuality and question it. I repressed it so hard, I stopped watching KZfaq and stopped watching Alayna. Welp, I’m back. I’m not bi. I’m a lesbian. Thanks for helping me get there!

“I feel like I can breathe, when for years I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath.” Mic drop moment

this makes me really believe that platonic soulmates are a thing

As a bi person, let me say this: I am proud of you and I'm not going anywhere.

Sorta reminds me of Freddie Mercury’s relationship with Mary Austin. Your relationship with Dallas transcends sexuality.

I am a heterosexual male. However, I came across your channel because I was trying to help a seriously lovely friend of mine who found herself opening up to me. She is still so reserved and confused. However, she so loved what you have done and what it has done to help her realise that she is gay. Thank you for helping my lovely friend. I hope it is ok to tell you this, Alayna. You are awesome!

“Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place” - Holt, B99

we didn’t love you because you’re bisexual, we love you because you’re you! we love you no matter what!

I'm sitting here crying with you Alayna, because when I watched this video for the first time, it stirred up something deep inside of me. I tried to battle it as hard as I could but now, nine months later, I finally broke up with my wonderful male partner of three years because I simply cannot be with a man, and it's your coming out video that helped me make sense of what I was feeling. So thank you.

"no bitch! you're not demiromantic, you're gay!" oof i feel that...not to invalidate aromanticism or asexuality, but i went through something similar in high school where i was convinced that i was both aromantic and asexual. I just couldn't imagine myself with anyone and sexual attraction didn't make sense to me. And maybe being young was also a factor here. I never had a typical pubescent "sexual awakening" and I think that's because I just understood the world through a straight lens. And I wasn't interested in that, so asexual and aromantic were labels that I felt really "got" me. Idk what changed (I got older??) but in college I suddenly realized "hmm girls exist" and suddenly that sexual awakening happened and i was like "oh shit! i'm just gay!" So in that sense I relate to what you're going through rn. Internalised homophobia and heteronormativity are really shitty :|

As a bisexual woman married to a man who came out in part because of being inspired by you, thank you. I do not feel let down, I do not feel disappointed. it is not our fault the society places expectations on us and that there is a trope of bisexuality being used as a stepping stone to being fully gay. You did not lie, you did not deceive us. Discovering sexuality is a journey that looks different for everyone. I still love you just as much today as ever before. I know this was difficult news to share, but I am happy for you.

"as it turns out" im sorry i can't stop laughing this woman's ability to make light of any situation

People undervalue platonic relationships. I'm glad to hear your relationship with Dallas, while changed, is still full of as much love as it was pre-realisation :) I hope you're doing well. I'm sure this was a very difficult thing to go through, and I know what a realisation like that can shift within you xXx

You said "and I'll lose some of you here" and that line just made me feel the opposite. It made me say "I want to support this girl". I hope you feel proud of who you are.

I want to give Dallas a lot of respect for accepting her and giving her respect to explorer that side of her

Leaving a loving relationship because your sexuality doesn't align hurts a lot. It takes courage. I hope you and Dallas have love and support.

Sweetie, I hope you'll read it. I'm 47, bi, from Israel. It took me 30 years to think that maybe I'm bi and 10 years more to be sure I'm bi. Sexuality is complicated. You are young, explore. You are healthy, have a job, family, friends. Everything is ok. You are still you❤

"I feel like I can breathe, when for years I didn't realize I was holding my breath" - Wow, that resonated with me. I've never seen your videos before but I'm so glad this one popped up in my feed.

“I feel like I can breathe, when for years I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath”. WOW! I. FELT. THAT.

“I felt like I was suffocating”. This is more relatable to anything you have said about you being bisexual. WE SUPPORT YOU. Sexuality is a spectrum and at least I understand why you suppressed it. And it’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok. We love you.

Oof. Here as a 27 year old, recently split from my husband as of a week ago because I thought I was pan and he suggested I see other people. Fast forward, I'm gay and have a girlfriend and he and I are co-existing as friends. Sending so much love to you and it's wild to see me essentially looking into a mirror.

My story is so similar to yours. 14 years and two kids later, my (now ex) husband asks “is it possible your a lesbian?” and just like you, something clicked and I couldn’t unsee it. We were split a month later. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

As a lesbian who identified as bi for upwards of 4 years, this is such an important video to me. Figuring out you don’t like men is such a difficult thing in a society that centers around attraction to men. Thank you for posting this.

at least you realized while you're still young and not married. my mom didn't realize she was gay until after she had 2 kids and married 2 different men. she's happy now at least and has a girlfriend. I hope you will be happy someday soon as well

Thank you for making this video. I thought I was bi for 6 years, I realized I wasn't attracted to men, I needed men to be attracted me. This made me feel seen and validated. Thank you. Tiktok also made me gay and introduced me to my girlfriend.

i can really relate to you saying you "never questioned liking boys because it was the given" but when you started being with women you understood what its suppose to feel like . i thought i was bisexual in middle school but now im realizing im a lesbian and this video makes me feel valid, thank you

“You can’t be gay because you’ve always dated men” wow I felt that

THIS is why we need representation when we’re kids and why being gay shouldn’t be treated as taboo! Comphet is literally so hard to deal w and i’m happy you finally know yourself and are comfortable enough to share w us🤍

God I could never have the balls to put my life out to everyone like this holy shit

What you said about the confirmed bisexual merch really hit home. I always thought I was bi because yes, I knew I liked women, but only recently I started to question if I really liked men. The thought had never crossed my mind that I didn’t like men because I sort of took that as a given my whole life. I’m so proud of you for figuring this out and I hope you know that we support you!

Man looks like she needs to throw another goodbye party to bisexuality hello homosexuality

To paraphrase the mom scene in Love Simon: "But these last few years, more and more, its almost like I could feel you holding your breath...you are still you...but you get to exhale now, you get to be more you, than you've been in a very long time. You deserve everything you want"

I literally always just sit there and think about my sexuality for agess...Sexuality is weird af..I like guys,I like girls but my feelings for both are so different..

Thank you for being brave enough to be so unflinchingly honest. Your story helps. It took me 13 years and 3 kids to finally accept that I wasn’t bisexual. I too had the loveliest, most supportive man that I didn’t want to lose but I had to set him free. I loved him but I wasn’t in love with him and there was no attraction.

“I feel like I can breathe, when for years I didn’t realize I was holding my breath.” You don’t know till you know, ya know. Thanks for sharing this scary thing with us. I am proud of you. Life’s a journey. Here’s to things staying interesting!

"oh we are all so small, and it doesn't matter, none of this matters- oh my god I'm having a crisis." ....this is an important video but GOD did I feel this akdjsk

I've always felt more physically attracted to men but more emotionally attracted to woman. It can be confusing and make me feel weirdly guilty sometimes. Sometimes I'm into men more and sometimes I'm into women more and it depends on the type of person they are.

I cryed so hard watching this and reading some of the comments bc i have came out again during quarentine too, after identifying as bi for 5 years and dating a guy for 3 and a half. The process of questioning and realization was so scary and confusing and nausiating even, but every step i took in the direction of being a bit more sure felt like a huge weight off my chest. I thought i knew myself for so long and yet now i'm seeing things clearly for the first time.

I hope no one starts talking FOR Dallas here, he’s a grown ass man, they talked, they were very open about their relationship. No one should shame either side in this scenario.

Alayna this is something that you need to hear from my heart to yours: You keep saying that what you had on this channel was a lie and felt like a lie because of what you knew or were trying to figure out about yourself. But I'm here to tell you it wasn't a lie. It wasn't a lie because that's the truth you could give at the time and one you might have been wishing was the truth, and you don't have to apologize for that. Your truth and words at that time has helped millions of people and touched the lives of so many. Regardless, your compassion and vulnerability you have shared over the years on this channel has helped me tremendously and so many others in ways I can't articulate in a youtube comment. I've been here since that first coming out video, and you helped me accept myself for who I am, and strangely enough just as you make this video I have recently begun to question myself in similar ways you have even though I have been identifying as bi for about 5 years now too. (lmfao crazy how that works huh?) I know how difficult it can be to leave a person you've been through so much of life with and how it feels scary and foreign and learning how to be alone again is weird. But I can also tell you that in this past year of learning how to navigate my own life and being my own person again has given me the space to grow into someone I didn't know was inside of me. Don't apologize for your story. You would never tell anyone else to, so be kind to yourself the way you would be to me or anyone else here in this amazing community you have built. I am proud of you. I am proud of Dallas. I am sending you both so much love and energy during this time, and I know you will both come out of this as strong and better people. We love you and are here for you no matter what.

9 months of questioning my identity. I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday

One side of me is sad, because I am a bisexual. Truly, I am. And it kinda hurts to see this, bc it furthers the stereotype that we're just confused. And I'm MAD at myself, for feeling like that toward you. Bc on the other hand I'm SO HAPPY for you. I genuinely am overjoyed that you found who you were. I'm so sorry sorry it's a little bitter sweet. I can't wait to watch you grow and discover more about yourself ❤

As a Real Life Confirmed Bisexual who’s been watching your bi content for years, I’m not at all upset about any of this. I don’t watch you because of your bisexuality, I watch you because of how comfortable you always seemed being the truest version of yourself that you were aware of. So now that you’re aware of a truer version of you, I’d damn well hope you lived consistently with it! That’s been the message I’ve taken from your channel all along. Sending love, I hope both of you are taking care of yourself, and if you happen to speak to Dallas you can send him some love from me as well.

"It was like being into men was just a given" THIS!!!!!!! Alayna I've been following you for years, I think I've probably subscribed to you when I had just come out as bi and I watched your vid also coming out as bi... and now I'm literally going through the SAME thing as you: realizing that no I'm not bi, I'm actually just gay 😂. I relate so much to what you just said you have no idea. Growing up I also had crushes on boys and I always thought that I couldn't be fully gay because of that but the more I allow myself to crush on women and date them and imagine a life with them I realize that I just can't picture myself doing that with a guy ever (meaning that I've probably just liked those guys because of compulsory heterosexuality). Alayna your videos have always been there for me and I'm so thankful that you share your life with us so we'd feel less alone. I wish you the best and I promise I'll always be here to support your channel, I love you girl 💕

I relate to this so hard. I always dated men, have a child with a man, and I couldn’t possibly be more gay. I never even though I might be gay, I just thought it was normal for me to not be happy or like sex. Then the girl that became my first girlfriend started flirting with me and (again didn’t even think about it) so naturally I was into it and after experiencing all these things with her it couldn’t be more clear that I’m just gay. And WHAT A RELIEF that I can be so happy, fulfilled, and sex is unreal. I’m just gay!! 😂

I've identified as lesbian for the most part of my life. Then I started feeling sexual attraction to men but I thought that I don't develop feelings for them. Eventually I did though and I am in a relationship with a man right now. But I miss women. And I've told him that. I love him, but it doesn't compare to the passionate love I had for women. I don't feel comfortable with the bisexual label but I feel comfortable with HIM. I REALLY WISH we would stop looking for labels to stick on us. We as human beings are way too complex and constantly evolving to be labeled. I am me. And I loved women, now I love a man, what will come in the future I don't know but I WON'T LIMIT MYSELF BY LABELS! love is love after all.

When you said that "it was like being into men was just a given" I felt so seen. I have been struggling for so long to come to grips with my own sexuality and I came out as bi, but I have started to realize that just isn't true, so thank you for sharing this, thank you so much.

everyone who thinks sexuality is a choice rather than just who you are should watch this and realize how little choice we have over our sexuality and how many of us are terrified and confused by it. how could we be confused if we’re “choosing it”

This is nearly step by step what happened with me. My 10 year relationship to a man was full of love but something deep in me kept bothering me until I acknowledged that I could love him as a person, and still be gay. We’re not taught about the complexities and different types of attraction enough. Hearing your story made me feel validated and not crazy. Forever thankful.

You giggling while saying 'im in a crisis' feels so familiar lol

I'm bi and when I was coming to terms with my sexuality I watched a lot of videos yours included. You helped me so much to feel validation in myself, self worth, and understanding of my sexuality and eventouh it turns out you're actually gay all of the work you've done for the bi community is still valid and I thank you for that.

I can’t imagine how terrifying this was to make or to go through but you’re strong and we love you! We still accept you no matter what

I don’t even know you and I’m completely straight, but you’re so admirable. I wish you all the best luck.

I can't believe this was only 7 months ago. 2020 truly has been 5 years in one.

I thought this was gonna be a click bait for “covid-19 delaying the wedding” or something like that... and now I’m sitting here shocked. I’m sad for you and Dallas, but I’m happy for you, that you’re being true to yourself ❤️ and we will be here no matter what

“I feel like I can breathe, when for years I didn’t realise I was holding my breath.” Wow. This bit really hit hard. Wishing you all the happiness and love

The landscapers outside are actually really funny to me. Like truly, we are all so small. Our lives are our own, and what is so big and life-changing to us is literally nothing to the landscapers outside. They don’t know, they don’t care, and they have their own stuff happening. That kind of thing can be very scary to realize (to be that small and insignificant can seem to mean that nothing matters, and it’s not worth it). But I think it’s a very helpful and calming thing to remember. I am my own person, and what is big and scary in my life is not actually that big or scary. Life is happening all around us, and it doesn’t care what we’re doing. I came out as nonbinary to my mom in a little diner in upstate New York, while we ate breakfast sandwiches and drank mediocre coffee. The lesbians across the room were chatting about their day, and the old couple behind us happened to also be from New Jersey, and we chatted with them about that as they were leaving. I had a whole long coming out letter written, and I was genuinely afraid to give it to my family. And then, over breakfast, my mom asked me, “Would you consider yourself cis?” and I just laughed. It was so random and matter-of-fact that I had to answer honestly. And she was so cool about it. We clarified my name (no change), pronouns (he/they), and what sort of language I was and wasn’t comfortable with. And then we drank the last of our coffee, paid, and left. The waitress didn’t care. The lesbians at the other table didn’t care. The old folks from Manahawkin didn’t care. It was just me and my mom. We can very easily forget that we are each just one singular person in the world, and every person has their own stuff going on. What feels like the most daunting thing to us means nothing to the other people around. And that means that the world won’t come to an end because of anything we have to do. I was so afraid to come out, because it felt like it would change the whole world and make everything weird and uncertain. But then I did, and nobody cared except me and my family. My mom and I listened to the Indigo Girls on the way home, stopped at a Starbucks near Albany (where nobody knew or cared that I had just come out), and then we got back to Jersey and I unpacked my stuff from school. And nothing happened. I’m still alive, the world is still spinning, that waitress is probably still working at that diner, and my mom makes an effort not to call me her son anymore. And that’s it. It’s such a relief to remember how little our lives actually impact the world around us. It makes the scary things much more manageable.

I'm watching this 3 years after it was made and wow, you have come so far. Love you Alayna, take care

I can't even begin to imagine how hard this must of been for you to record, let alone build up the courage to talk about. Been a fan for almost a decade now (7 years at least) and i've said it many times before but there is very little you can do for me to not be a fan. Your mental health videos have helped me immensely and regardless of anything that happens i genuinely wish you nothing but the best and that you find solace, answers, comfort, anything that can help you along your journey ! Wishing you nothing but the best, for Dallas as well, i loved his interactions and he too deserves the world, like yourself. You got this Alayna : )

................ this really be giving me, a “”confirmed bisexual,”” a bit of a Think™️

As a woman who has also thought of myself as bisexual but had recently realized I’m gay and had to end a 4 year with relationship with a man I was engaged to, I absolutely relate to this and needed to hear it. You are so strong and I’m so proud of you. I’m glad we both realized before actually being married, and I’m happy to say that I’m so much better off now than I was a few weeks ago when the split happened. My former fiancé and I were going through a lot near the end, arguing, always feeling miserable, unsure what was wrong but knowing that something was. Now I’m coming to terms with being gay, and that’s really hard! I came out as bisexual my freshman year of high school, 7 years ago. I thought myself to be bi all this time, and only recently understood that I was dealing with compulsory heterosexuality and it took me a really long time to understand that and to be okay with it. I’m still not fully there, but it’s something I’m going through every day. Thank you for sharing this, it means so so much 💙

i’m rewatching this now and i’m so beyond proud of how far you have come! you’re doing amazing and you are amazing

I read this and audibly gasped

Oh honey, here is the thing, we love who you are, not your sexual orientation.

The loud af doorbell when u said “glaring signs” was like the universe confirming your point🤣👏🏼

Hey! I watched this 6 months ago on repeat. You helped me come out to myself, and to my then-husband. I have 2 kids. Thank you for leaving this here. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone.

I also wanna say: Dallas is the most acepting straight man I ever heard about. He is such a loving and caring person. I am glad you guys still love each other.

It really sucks when things are just sad for everyone and there’s no one to blame. I feel really bad for you for having to suppress feelings and getting anxiety from struggling with this. I feel bad for Dallas for any guilt he may be feeling about having a relationship for this long when you were gay the whole time. Of course you guys weren’t stuck together, because you chose this and if either of you were unhappy with each other as people, you would have ended it but you are just two genuinely very good people, and good together. You both still have your whole life ahead of you, you can live authentically now.

i really appreciate this video. i watched it multiple times before and after i came out to my ex and it made me feel so much less alone. i definitely miss his friendship but i really am happier now that i don’t always feel anxious. can’t wait to see what’s down the line:) i’m glad that you’ve grown so much since this has happened💛

It has taken me so long to get the courage to watch this video, as I think I need to leave my husband because I’m not sure I’m bi. I love him so much and don’t want to hurt him. This video has opened my eyes more and made me cry

What I really want to know: Is "I Don't Bi it" going to become "Lezbe honest"?

just imagine, this self-realisation likely wouldn't have happened if not for lockdown. imagine if you'd gone on not knowing…

"We are all so small..." Girl, I am going through something VERY similar, right now.. I love my BF and want to be with him, but im not happy.. and I cannot shake the feeling that I am in the relationship because it is easiest. He also doesn't support me exploring relationships with women.. The Google doc video you did really changed how I viewed men in the past/currently.. i just want to let you know that your honesty has really helped me process my feelings about all of this, and the fact that I am 27 and just now evaluating all this makes me connect to your page that much more!

"It's like being into men was just a given." The definition of comphet.

Compulsory Heterosexuality is one hell of a drug. In all seriousness Alayna, your videos helped me on my coming out journey and I'll always be so grateful for that. I'm so happy that you are ready to express who you are, I cant imagine how scary this would have been for you. 💕💕

Heteronormativity is no joke. My straight family and friends don't believe it exists but I generally thought I was broken because I didn't like guys. My friends used to say that I just hadn't met the right guy yet. Being gay wasn't even considered.

I previously identified as bi for 6-7ish years and I'm now beginning to realize that I'm gay. I really resonate with you on this, and I thank you so much for sharing this with people. Comp het is a thing and so many women go through it, so this content is EXTREMELY important

I didn't know I was asexual because I assumed that not being gay meant I was hetero. I wish you all the best in your new journey forward.

I thought this was going to be an announcement with a clickbaity title about the wedding being cancelled because of COVID. I'm so sorry that you are going through this tough transition. Speak your truth and love & light will be coming your way 💖

Look up "compulsory heterosexuality." I originally came out as gay in my early 20s (I'm 52 now). Or tried to. Then comp-het kicked in and I had this wonderful guy friend who I just clicked with. Oh! I must be straight after all! We got married and were for 14 years. He decided at some point he just didn't want to be married and we split. And that freedom gave me time to realize that, no, I'm 100% gay. But he's the only person I've ever truly loved. But love doesn't have to equal romance or sexual attraction. I have a very deep connection (love) with my best friend... and there is no romance there. But comp-het, society, said, "Honey, that's love and you should be attracted to this man." I like to give my best friend (we've been friends for 34 years) a hard time... like instead of just assuming I was straight but, like you, I had compartmentalized that gay part of my life... she should have said, "No, dude. You're totally gay." Haha! A lot of women feel they're bi because of this (I'm NOT saying bi/pan isn't a thing because I know too many bi/pan folk to think otherwise and if someone says they're bi or pan, they know themselves best)... I just think a lot of people might identify that way as they're trying to figure things out... or it's easier to deal with society. So if you know you're not bi, but thought you were before, that's 100% valid. I mean, I actually thought I was straight for a good chunk of my life! 😂 Knowing yourself and being true to yourself is often a hard road, but it's so worth it!! Good for you!!

LOVE YOU!! Proud Mom of a Gay daughter. I'm so proud of her everyday! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜

"It doesn't just disappear once other people know about it." I have come out as gay multiple times in my life but ended up back in the closet because i couldn't cope with the shame i had about being gay. The last time i went back in the closet, i decided to take male hormones so i just didnt have to deal with being a lesbian. I have finally realized that i cannot avoid who i am and i am now off testosterone. What lengths has anyone reading this gone to in order to avoid being gay?

At least you realized before the wedding. I endured a 10 year marriage before I couldn’t take it anymore.

I couldn’t imagine having to face this, especially since you obviously care about Dallas.

Watching this video as a trans lesbian who used to think she was a gay man, then a bi man, then a pan pile of "what even is gender" then a pan woman, and now finally, come out as a trans lesbian, how closely your statements mirror my own experiences with men is honestly extremely eye opening for me P.S. In case people are wondering why I thought I was gay, I felt dysphoria since puberty, but I never recognised it as such, I misinterpreted the signs I was a woman, as signs I was a gay man, which is a totally amazing thing to go through /sarcasm, also due to depression, it was hard to actually feel attraction to anyone, and I just had sex with people who lifted the depression temporarily, and men were more likely to be into me back then, so...yeah

I would love to be able to go back in time and tell her that she'll be happy and glowing in a few years. Coming back to this video reminds me that hard times can be overcome and that being honest is worth it

I am also gay, as it turns out 🤷🏻‍♀️ here’s to self discovery in your late 20’s ❤️

Damn sexuality is complicated. I hate when people think it's black and white. Sending love and support to both of you.

Just rewatching now as a recently out lesbian and not bisexual. And yeah your not alone. This video probably helped me probably nestled in my subconscious. Thanks for this.

i'm just sitting here in awe 'cause i'm going through almost the exact same thing right now and have felt incredibly alone in my experience. thank you for making this video and for voicing your experience, i hope you're doing well

Man this hits hard. Redoing your coming out is so, so hard. I did it too. I’m still doing it. Alayna, we love you so much. And we support you no matter what. We love you for you. Nothing can change that.

Alayna having an existential crisis triggered by a landscaper is very relatable. In all seriousness, this is such a difficult thing to go through but I promise it is so necessary for your happiness going forward. We love you here no matter what, and take all the time you need to figure this new chapter of your life out!

00:42 seconds in and I’m already crying right along with you 😩🥺. Immediately hit me in my feelings and i needed to see this

I just found you on my feed, and I dunno why or how, but I watched this to the end, and I think that you are so amazing and brave for sharing such a difficult time with everyone, but you should definitely not be worried about how anyone, strangers, or someone you've known your whole life, is going to take this or any other news you have. If they aren't happy for you figuring out who you really are and what you really want from life, and in life, then you don't need to be giving them any of you energy or attention. And just remember, you are still a person, an amazing human being, no matter what others say or opinions they have. And by being yourself, and being honest about yourself with strangers, and people you know is helping others to have the courage to do the same, even when it's not about sexuality. *HUGE HUGS TO YOU!!!*

I haven't watched all the way through yet, but I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it'll be okay. I'm here to support you no matter what. Whether that's a break or rants or what ever else you need. I love you (and Dallas). You're strong and you will get through this. ❤️

"I was activity participating in heterosexuality" That hit me like a wave of oceans cause same sis, same! It took me a marriage, a baby boy & a divorce later to realize my sexuality! #ComfirmedBisexual 💙💜💗💙💜💗💙💜💗💙💜💗 Sending you love & light on your journey of gayxpolration, hun! 💋

Your story is so relatable and similar to my experience, it's validated the sanity of my feelings and many years of questioning. Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad this kind of disclosure (not the narrow heteronormative view) is available to younger people these days.

I've never watched a single video of yours until this one; it was a YT recommended video for me for some reason but I'm so glad I clicked. Your story is so similar to mine and it's such a relief to hear someone else talk about it.. someone that truly understands. It's also amazing to know that you're in a better place now because that could mean I also will be. Thanks for sharing your story and know that it's been a blessing to me.