My Biggest Secret.. My Battle With OCD And Gaming

  Рет қаралды 3,722

vanburen20

vanburen20

4 жыл бұрын

Today I talk about my struggle with OCD through my childhood and how it reflects on to my gaming habits.
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Пікірлер: 93
@pablotapia1948
@pablotapia1948 4 жыл бұрын
I used to be just like you when I was younger. I would always keep my room clean. I even cleaned up my entire house and I would get mad at my family when ever they didn't push in their chairs or shut any of the doors in the house. And with my room would always be clean, I would make sure my blankets were neat, I would keep my consoles from smallest to shortest, my games would be organized by color, and I would get mad when my family would clean up the house, because they didn't know how to clean the house my way, I was basically Danny Tanner from Full House. I'm not gonna say I have OCD, because I never got diagnosed, since I didn't think about it until now, but I did have a problem and it's way better now than before.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
There are more of us than we know I'm sure
@gamerdude9704
@gamerdude9704 4 жыл бұрын
Same here to
@Aiden07_YT
@Aiden07_YT 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@Mychannelissocringeyhelp-
@Mychannelissocringeyhelp- 3 жыл бұрын
Ocd isn't all about cleaning
@SaviorOfEdge
@SaviorOfEdge 4 жыл бұрын
"My biggest secret" *posts on youtube* "So...it's not a secret... anymore..?"
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
I'm not ashamed of it
@SaviorOfEdge
@SaviorOfEdge 4 жыл бұрын
@@vanburen20 it's all good fam, I have OCD too
@digitdude1375
@digitdude1375 4 жыл бұрын
Shadow The Edgelord same
@draknov1888
@draknov1888 2 жыл бұрын
Great video man, I'm battling with OCD in regards to steam accounts and files being "contaminated" due to saving something wrong or if i see a message in the console of the game that doesn't match the "default" messages and things alike. Little by little I'm starting to do exposure therapy with myself to show how stupid these thoughts are though some are still at the back of my mind I'm wroking towards overcoming these irrational thoughts by proving them wrong. Much appreciated you make these type of videos man, it helps people alike. Keep it up.
@ashleyhands7717
@ashleyhands7717 4 ай бұрын
I have 2 OCDs that affect me during gaming and they're going to seem pretty pathetic but I can't just shake them. I have to look everywhere, and even if I know a level is clear I'll still look everywhere. The other is I have to press buttons a certain way, has to be a nice, clean press and not like a sudden press. When playing games for fun you could see how this would ruin them.
@seanwc6746
@seanwc6746 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for speaking up Shawn. You are incredibly brave and we are all here for you
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Love all u guys
@jackconey5948
@jackconey5948 4 жыл бұрын
Don't worry man I'm with ya 100% of the way love your channel and your work. It doesn't matter if you have ocd you can overcome it with the people around you that love and support you. Keep on trucking, your the best Nintendo channel out there 👍👍👍
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the kind words I appreciate it
@jackconey5948
@jackconey5948 4 жыл бұрын
Your very welcome 👍👍
@bwlfarmer
@bwlfarmer 4 жыл бұрын
As someone who used to treat OCD years ago. It is sad how people always tell me they have it when they only just get annoyed if their house gets messed up. Best wishes to you and thanks for sharing your story.
@pobtv5638
@pobtv5638 4 жыл бұрын
I have mild cerble palsey and my hands and muscles hurt and cramp up fast keep on striving and doing great things
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear that man and thanks for the positive comment
@nomore8441
@nomore8441 4 жыл бұрын
I have Aspergers, Anxiety, Depression and Slight OCD And its awful Everynight I need to stay up to midnight to make sure I'm thinking of something good when it changes day Also with gaming it's a bug problem because I play a game called geometry dash and every attempt I need to think of something good and if I don't then I need to retry and do the same compulsion again before I can play the level So on average I can only play the game for 10 minutes because my compulsions take over Also I have to do the same thing when walking in and out my room or going in and out the house Also when I stack games I like them to all be in a straight stack And I have to do this everyday and been doing the same things since I was 11 😒
@arthurmorgan2042
@arthurmorgan2042 4 жыл бұрын
For a moment, I thought you're talking about my biography!! I have the same issues and It's truly crazy bro!! As a VideoGame lover, I'm really tired of struggling with my OCD!
@emfancyy7736
@emfancyy7736 4 жыл бұрын
We still love you man. Everyone has some kinda issue, or most people do. Just know we are all here for you & we don't care if you have OCD or not, we still love you. Thanks for being honest with us & sharing your story. You're the best Nintendo KZfaqr in my eyes.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the nice comment man
@emfancyy7736
@emfancyy7736 4 жыл бұрын
@@vanburen20 no problem man. Thanks for being honest with us. I know it has to be hard to share your story with so many people. Just know we all appreciate it & we dont care if you have OCD or not, we care about you for you.
@vondestanley2631
@vondestanley2631 4 жыл бұрын
Keep your head up things will get better.
@otan2622
@otan2622 4 жыл бұрын
I learnt that there's no point in letting it dishearten me as it was something i couldn't get rid of, its of course a struggle but there are positives to it, people with ocd are always more creative due to the hyper activity in the brain, better attention to detail and much more. Also if you want to reduce anxiety thoughts go towards the anxiety and you will slowly learn that the worst situation doesn't ever happen.Anyway, it's not all bad.
@MrThrideye
@MrThrideye 4 жыл бұрын
Trust me, your not alone.... Everything has to be in its place and if it's been used or not placed back in the order I have it, then I'll get really upset..
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Glad I'm not alone and thanks for watching
@MrThrideye
@MrThrideye 4 жыл бұрын
@@vanburen20, I'm glad too... That I'm not alone either subjects like this is kinda hard to bring to surface because of the judgements we face.
@LilNutDumb
@LilNutDumb 11 ай бұрын
Its happened where my friend would make a minecraft world and id had to do everything perfect and theyre always telling me to to hurry up while making up lies and excuses
@danielforbes6661
@danielforbes6661 2 жыл бұрын
I have it and I cant get rid of it I restart my game just if I forget something very little or if im not fast enough
@spmugenuploader5905
@spmugenuploader5905 4 жыл бұрын
I can relate... I still do it today as a matter of fact, I would usually stay up late before 12:00 AM, but before I go upstairs to bed, I would usually make sure that every electric object is off, for example: the lights, the TV, I don’t know why I always do it sometimes my brother stays up too so I ask him to do it for me sometimes and he usually does, but when I do it, I would usually check two or three times to make sure that EVERYTHING is off.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
We are not alone
@ClumpypooCP
@ClumpypooCP 4 жыл бұрын
I have a weird form of ocd, its where I am constantly aware and conscious of my breathing and feel the need to take deep breaths all the time
@CB-fq2ye
@CB-fq2ye 3 жыл бұрын
God bless you!!
@sauce4279
@sauce4279 4 жыл бұрын
Hey, man. No matter what you have, no matter what you suffer from, at the end of the day, your still VanBuren20. Your still a cool guy, and still a good youtuber. We'll always be here to support you. Us fellow gamers gotta stick together, right?
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the support man
@nicholasbersito6942
@nicholasbersito6942 4 жыл бұрын
Your not alone my friend
@imtiazlcfc4life
@imtiazlcfc4life 3 жыл бұрын
I have OCD with gaming too which is why I often lose matches on FIFA online that I shouldn't be losing just because I have to keep doing a particular move perfectly over and over again until it feels right... which is what sucks the enjoyment out of certain games for me that trigger this OCD... especially FIFA which is the game I live off of! 😢
@Anothersexysong
@Anothersexysong 2 жыл бұрын
I struggle playing rpg games, i get anxiety everytime i have to name my character to the point that i always end up thinking i missed some letter or left an unnecesary space and it would keep eating my brain even if i try to ignore the invasive though, and even if i go with the default name i would keep thinking i changed something unintentionally and i just will not have a good experience playing the game to the point that i have to redo all the process of starting a new game until my mind settle with it or just leave it completely. It is a misserable way of life for how crippling it is and i had lost friends and family because of it, yet it will never go away and sometimes it just gets bad for me. Currently i'm playing ff7 for the first time in my life and i managed to beat part 1 but i got stuck from moving on because i would keep trying playing the game from the start due to now been knowingly of all the things i missed out my first run so i want to make it right this time but it is like i'm just not allowed to play again and that lack of free will get me mad because of me being soo enslaved by my own mind.
@SleepyRulu
@SleepyRulu 4 жыл бұрын
I have my battle similar with autism.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Keep your head up and stay positive
@Aiden07_YT
@Aiden07_YT 4 жыл бұрын
I Have OCD Too
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
It's a struggle for sure
@Aiden07_YT
@Aiden07_YT 4 жыл бұрын
vanburen20 I Can Agree
@thelazergamer9995
@thelazergamer9995 4 жыл бұрын
Whenever I leave the house I get this feeling in my legs. So I checked the house if I left something... i had everything i needed so i leave again then come back and do it over and over... I hate myself
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
I'm sure your not the only one
@zachcarmon9712
@zachcarmon9712 4 жыл бұрын
Oh man
@Outlaw-fe2ju
@Outlaw-fe2ju 4 жыл бұрын
First of all I applaud you on opening up especially on video that right there just takes guts. Now I never had to deal with OCD growing up my issue has always been adhd I grew up in military family so I had to move a lot by the time I was 14 I moved 8 times and the only thing I had with me was gaming. I never really had friends until high school so I can understand about being over protective about a game system but like I said you got guts and I cant imagine having to grow up that way it had to be really tough
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
I've put so much of my life on KZfaq I figured why not
@JOEWHAT
@JOEWHAT 4 жыл бұрын
Its probably how your shower handle broke!!! Leave it alone!! Its off!! Love ya bro!!
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Yup making it too tight I'm sure
@jasonkile8291
@jasonkile8291 4 жыл бұрын
If anyone goes in my room I have a place for everything myself and if it's touched and it's not in the right place I start raising hell about it
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
That was my childhood in a nutshell
@MrThrideye
@MrThrideye 4 жыл бұрын
Me too....
@jasonkile8291
@jasonkile8291 4 жыл бұрын
My childhood wasn't a all sunshine and rainbows when I got really sick I was at the hospital my sister destoryed my vhs copy of tombstone I freaked out wanted to hit her with my iv drip thingy
@jasonkile8291
@jasonkile8291 4 жыл бұрын
Your not alone bro
@shannonbuckley3631
@shannonbuckley3631 3 жыл бұрын
Recently I just bought the game the walking dead with clementine for my Nintendo switch and all of a sudden I'm experiencing ocd with it, I cant even enjoy the game I always delete my account because my ocd says I'm not playing the game right or I'm not making the right choices oh I have to go back because I didn't hear what that guy or person said, you didn't check everything, dude I just want to enjoy the game I heard what the people said but everytime I have to go back its getting ridiculous, what should I do? This doesn't happen when I play other games. I call my ocd the perfectionist because it wants me playing the game perfect, newsflash ocd theres no such thing as perfect!
@snowmanggaming3708
@snowmanggaming3708 3 жыл бұрын
I got the same thing, if I do not do something perfectly I feel like I just completely ruined the entire experience, and have to start over. I am enjoying it less I believe, I think you just need to learn to let go, it will bother you at first, but after some practice you can.
@shannonbuckley3631
@shannonbuckley3631 3 жыл бұрын
@@snowmanggaming3708 well I haven't touched some of the games at all for a while its irritating, yeah letting go of it would be nice.
@ikillulol3416
@ikillulol3416 4 жыл бұрын
Its ok
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@jeanettemccracken9963
@jeanettemccracken9963 4 жыл бұрын
Love you bub glad it's better, I sure remember it all and was worried about my baby boy but hod took care of you ❤
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for being there for me mom
@Ninten70
@Ninten70 4 жыл бұрын
Shawn you're a very Strong dude. Keep up the work and still keep the energy that u have.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks bro
@bigtasty1082
@bigtasty1082 4 жыл бұрын
We can talk when you do your games by serial number
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
I'm not that insane just yet
@Showstopper108
@Showstopper108 4 жыл бұрын
We love u bro stay strong for us and your family your not alone we got your back.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the support bro
@joemellon5444
@joemellon5444 4 жыл бұрын
Please OCD, try living with a balance disorder and gaming or walking or driving or turning in bed or watching tv or reading or working. Get the idea?
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear that man, I never said OCD was more serious than any other condition
@Sammy10100
@Sammy10100 4 жыл бұрын
Your still an inspiration to the rest of us. Love your videos. Keep the great content coming. -:)
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks
@zachcarmon9712
@zachcarmon9712 4 жыл бұрын
I’m here for you man
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the support
@gorillaman283
@gorillaman283 4 жыл бұрын
I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 5. It has absolutely controlled/ruined my life for the longest time, however I think now at 25, I have significantly improved overtime. At the same time, while the perfectionism and my high standards have been over the top, I would have never had the success I have financially, academically, and overall at such a young age, but it obviously comes with consequences. It is certainly something that we always need to work on... but you should be proud of the work-ethic, the passion, and loyalty that most people with OCD display, due to the effects of anxiety, stress, compulsions, and rituals. Also, it drives me nuts when people think "OCD" is a saying, or a type of mood, when it's actually a full-out mental illness many people have to deal with, so thank you for mentioning that in the beginning. I have had some crazy experiences, and it is something I never talk about publicly, so I really appreciate it when people like you, and celebrities with OCD, come out and share their struggling experiences. I am beyond appreciative for this video. Thank you.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for watching I appreciate it very much
@Duskusbunny
@Duskusbunny 4 жыл бұрын
Yooo :( not the most epic but your epicardo
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
lol
@Jamesbad28
@Jamesbad28 4 жыл бұрын
I’ve always and still am just like this. I wouldn’t call it exactly OCD, considering Ive never been diagnosed with it and I’m definitely not as serious about as people with real OCD, but like a mild less intense version of OCD. I always dust, make sure everything is perfect in my room, and just have to have everything perfect. I fold all my clothes and make sure cases and books are lined up in size order And gaming is a nightmare for me because I love games and always need to have everything done in the game and have it 100% complete. I know this may sound small but for me it’s a big deal. So trust me, I somewhat know how you’re feeling. Also, when it comes to leaving something for a long period of time, I HATE IT. I always get so worried about everything. When I go on vacations the whole time I’m upset about cloths and systems not being in my house and more importantly, where they go in my room and basement. I just cannot stand having something out of order for long periods of time.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
I wonder how many people are like us out there
@hollymarie114
@hollymarie114 4 жыл бұрын
Funny thing Is that we all check the door in our house!
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
It's normal but i used to check every 20 minutes lol
@dynastytarikterry1988
@dynastytarikterry1988 4 жыл бұрын
I am OCD 100% Myself.
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
We are not alone
@avigdormoon
@avigdormoon 4 жыл бұрын
Unrelated: wouldn’t it be cool if KZfaq had a laugh react button like Facebook?
@kinggamer6294
@kinggamer6294 4 жыл бұрын
I don't have OCD but I am overprotective to my games
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Me too...me too!
@dukeyt2616
@dukeyt2616 4 жыл бұрын
I have P.A.N.D.A.S and terets Anxiety I have been lonely and depressed I still am nobody wants to be my friend
@Rar_4x
@Rar_4x 4 жыл бұрын
First
@vanburen20
@vanburen20 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for watching
@Rar_4x
@Rar_4x 4 жыл бұрын
I always watch your vids
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