I just wanted to share, because your story was relatable and touching. I grew up in an abusive household too, and my dad, much like you, sabotaged himself and his family often. Out of fear of becoming my dad, I became the exact opposite. I never wanted people to feel like the monster I felt, and so I gave people the benefit of the doubt, even when they didn't deserve it. As a result, I ended up having kids with a man that tried to kill me in the end. It's been nearly 3 years since I got out... And I realized that my needs and my wants matter, and fps were a solace for me too. I stopped writing at 15, because the depression and the voices of my abusers were in my head, telling me what I couldn't achieve. Now, because I got into this hobby, I am on the way to buying my own house, and I am becoming a business owner (as a copywriter!). I can think so much clearer because I can write it out, and I have healed mentally so much, even if my hearing never did recover from the abuse I suffered at the hands of a man who was out to destroy me. It's amazing how simple things like stationery could change our lives for the better.

I have personal journal entries from over 50 years ago. When I read some of it I think, "WHAT--YOU WROTE THAT! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" LOL !

This was like listening to a recounting of my past. Father died in 1963 on the same day my younger brother was born, and in the same hospital. I had the same experience of "freedom" in the 1960's in Chicago, no oversight whatsoever. Abusive and alcoholic step father showed up. etc etc. Finally, in my early 50's I wrote two letters; one to my father, whom I forgave for leaving and one to my step-father, whom I forgave for being the horror that he was. I burned those letters in my backyard and watched all of that emotional turmoil go up in smoke, it took decades of therapy and journaling to get there. Writing has done much for me. Thank you.

I found your channel to be very calming and relaxing. It's refreshing to encounter content that presents a gentlemanly perspective.

I’m so glad I finally got around to THIS video (as I work my way through to catch up). I’m so touched by your life story and that you shared it so honestly. I’m sure people have judged you but one never knows the challenges others have faced just by looking. I really admire how you have overcome those demons and worked for a better upbringing for your daughter. I’m a few years older than you so I get what you mean about the time frame of parenthood and the clock ticking. You’re very sweet and I love your outlook. We do NOT have to be held prisoner by our past and can reinvent ourselves as we learn and grow. We can change! That comes with the wisdom of age and experience. I have always kept learning and evolving. People who know you now never need know who you were before unless you want them to. My teen years were so far from who I am now (thank goodness!). I enjoyed learning more about you. You’re doing a super job! Bless your wife and daughter, and you for making the beautiful, loving family you missed out on as a child.

I couldn’t imagine you had suffered so much. It’s not easy to undressed here the way you’ve done it. I’m glad that you finally untangled the knot so well. As far as I know you, no doubt you deserve it. Life sometimes gives you a second or even a third chance. Now you have a great family and a happy life and that’s what really matters. And we take advantage of that learning a lot about fountain pens and journaling and having fun and being a bit happier watching your videos in this channel. My heartfelt support to keep going and thank you very much, Hemingway Jones

Amazing display of vulnerability, transparency, resilience and caring…it’s hard work dealing with the past and it’s lingering reach and impact. But you’re right it’s ultimately down to how you individually engage with the past. At its most raw I think Seneca or Epictetus said much about this, including that we suffer not from the events in our lives but from our judgement of them and on suffering noted the past suffering no longer concerns me and any future suffering doesn’t concern me yet, it is uncertain, live in the present.

I’m from western PA, but same childhood, same terrible struggles and depression. Thank you for daring to be vulnerability. I journal for the same reason and even work in the same general industry but different within it. And I lived in Boulder +20 years as well as all over Europe, Africa and Singapore. The only thing I didn’t like was the quote from Band of Brothers, I never like it when civilians co-opt our slang and language. And yes I was in 101st Airborne and I was in combat as a UN Peacekeeper in Africa. I love your content and how authentic you are. Also I was told the difference between vintage 14-18kt gold nibs and modern comes down to how the metal is rolled and pressed, how the molecules are made to stack, that determines the flex. I also have a bunch of old waterman’s I restored and I have the MB 146-C. Had the 149 flex too but it was too heavy for me, so I gave it to a friend.

Wow I love this channel so much. It’s not a pen channel… it’s a “how to live a better life” channel… and I am here for all of it.

Oh gosh, the reference to the Thin Red Line… totally get it. ❤

Some excellent advice!

Wow, this video means so much to me. Thank you for sharing your life story with us. I begin to care about you even more. 😊

Despite your difficult childhood, your hard work and dedication along with your writings made you out to be a swell guy. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story.

Alright, you caught me. I made it to the end…then subscribed! I discovered this channel a few days and I’m already getting a lot out of it, thanks!

That you take a genuine interest in your Followers, have such important messages about life including its struggles, show so much knowledge and compassion, makes you the most significant You Tuber! Pat yourself on the back--you deserve it!

It takes courage to open up about the difficulties/hardships one has experienced. You are a brave man, and someday I hope to be half as strong.

Thank you for this, Hemingway. It is so important that relatable people like yourself talk about their struggles in a direct and honest way. If this only nudges one single person to a path of personal improvement it has been immensely valuable.

Hemingway, Thank you for this frank honest vulnerability. In humility, I would say to you.Think of if you rented a hall to give a talk on fountain pens and you had 4000 people show up. That is a more apt frame to view your accomplishment than You Tube logarithms. You are giving your daughter a solid ,Loving foundation to be built upon. When she is a teenager and trying on her own self , it will be Wisdom that can best guide her. You only attain Wisdom with years and a life of honest introspection for the truth that must build itself on resurrecting from the pain that can come to us in life. I think by having the gift of Fatherhood later in life your daughter will benefit from your Wisdom and be a better person for it..

I admire your honesty and sincerity and attitude.

That was really great. Thanks for putting yourself out there.

Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me think about my own life and choices.

Hi, just catching up on this Superb channel and please keep up the excellent work 🙏🏻

Hello Mr. Jones, Thank you for sharing your story. I have experienced the same, but with different details, and indeed, I have reached the same conclusion. It's essential to take responsibility, act positively, and make choices. If you don't, the chaos of everyday life or your environment will make decisions for you. Best regards, Marcello

Wonderful life story and you have made it. We are shaped by our pasts but not defined by them. Life is a journey and its an interesting one at times. Thanks for your honesty and more importantly your positivity.

One of the wisest pieces of life advice I ever received was, "Don't think about it too much." It did not come from Plato, or Aristotle, or any such person. I read it on a wrapper from a Dove Chocolate Bar. LOL !

Great story my friend…you have a gift for telling it….glad I found your channel…😊

I lost my dad in 2022 who, much like you, overcame abusive and humble origins to become successful. He carried his scars from his youth a little more evidently than you but he still tried to rise above them to create a nurturing home. Thank you for sort of putting words in his mouth while you were telling your story. He didn't talk about it much.

Thank you for sharing. It's comforting to hear this especially that you find beauty in the little things which I can relate. And not to pass on the pain.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It gave me all the feels ❤

Thank you so much for recommending this video to me. You are right, this is not the background I had imagined for you. I've seen in my own family the terrible effects of generational trauma. I'm going through my old family letters and it is not difficult to see why my dad was the way he was. His mother was very manipulative and abusive, and although he hated what she did to him he carried many of those traits himself, and his sister as well. Turmoil gets passed down and I am glad you are vigilant and self aware. I never wanted, or had, kids myself, and I know I carry too much of my father in me to be a good mother. Kids deserve better than I could give. I think I make a much better Aunt! By all accounts my dad's father was a wonderful man. I think my brother inherited those traits, thankfully! You vid has inspired me to be more mindful and to use my journals to try to find a way to exhibit more of my wonderful mother's qualities. She's a hard act to follow.

Fascinating video It took courage to say that RS Canada

Thank you so much for sharing. Such a moving story, articulated in a genuine and vulnerable manner that left me weepy for what was endured and thankful for where you are now. God bless you and your family.

This was such a great video. I really appreciate you sharing your story.

My hats off to you sir.

I'm really glad I found you and your channel. I'm really enjoying you.

Many parallels H! Philly, NJ, marriage, nuns😳… guitar(Les Paul Cherry SB 1978), long hair(high school at O’Hara in the 70s). Your genuineness is felt and appreciated by those your meant to connect with. Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

Excellent video. Very articulate and honest. Thanks.

I picture you as young Michael Douglass in the movie Falling Down, if only he got into journaling...well then we would not have a movie lol.

Very good video, just talking softly, expressing the kindness you forged out of hardship. Best of luck to you and your family, you deserve it! 😮

An interesting black ink is Diamine Onyx Black. It is a dark black with black sheen. Thank you so much for telling your story!

Oh my- very, very touching and lovingly expressed. I shared this with my kids ( who are in their late 40s and 50s lol ❤️

Thanks for sharing your story!

Thank you for your description of how KZfaq handles small KZfaqrs. I see the same thing. And with niche topics like fountain pens, it's very difficult to grow anyway! Your very personal discussion was brave. It will help people to hear that kind of honesty. I don't know if I could ever share anything that personal.

HJ: you've made your life a work of art. Well done

Love what you said at 30:01- “if you can’t find chaos, you create chaos”. Though my childhood was far different than yours, I think of the fear my mother instilled in me as a young girl, and how I have continued to perpetuate that fear within myself, as an adult. Sometimes it feels like the hardest part of all is realizing that the vicious thoughts which swirl about in the recesses of my mind were never even *mine* to begin with… that they came from something or someone else outside of me, and slowly, gradually knitted themselves into the fabric of my skull. Now, of course, it is my job to disentangle myself from them, but how? How does one even begin to unravel a lifetime of fear, a lifetime of self-loathing, a lifetime of suppressed anguish, so cataclysmic in nature that I feel far too timid to even stand at the shore as huge waves violently unfurl, mercilessly hurling themselves in my direction? I think the only antidotes to all of this are love, self-love, self-compassion, self-trust, and self-knowledge. But wow, is it a daunting, arduous journey, to learn how to trust myself after a lifetime of living in a self-antagonistic, fragmented form, to learn how to love myself despite a shaky foundation of half-baked self-trust, of a self-understanding still not fully known… Anyways, I think I am rambling, but I just want you to know that your experience resonates with me and encourages me to dig deeper into the buried grounds where so much of my self lies, is waiting, quietly longing to be found.

Hemingway, this was a splendid video. I personally appreciate the insights that you have shared. So many things that you said ring true. I have never journaled, but I’m inspired to start. I’ve never thought of it as recording internal conversations, but now I get it. I’m curious if you also have a “commonplace book.”

Just watched this, interesting to hear the "origin story"! Take good care Hemingway!

Thank you for such a touching video! I can really understand how proud you have to allow yourself to feel, not only surviving a childhood of abuse and neglect but also rising above it and developing into a thoughtful and, sorry English is not my language and I cannot express myself so well, to become a "better" person by thinking and working on your life and how you treat others- that is a good lesson for everyone to hear about, so thank you! And with that life experience I am sure you are a great dad for your daughter too. I can also absolutely understand how fantastic it has to be to be able to leave college without any debts and that you want to make sure the same happens to your daughter. I live in a country that in many aspects is similar to the USA but in many other aspects is completely different ( Sweden). In the US the state seem ( to me, correct me if I am wrong!) to be far far away and you have to rely only on yourself if you shall make any progress in life and much depends on if you either have tremendous grit, like you, and are able to work and earn yourself through a higher education or you have to have rich parents, if you have no money higher education is closed how intelligent or bright a person you might be, unless you are lucky enough to get a scholarship. And that is so sad and not a good way for a country to take advantage of bright, but poor, minds. I live in Sweden, and it is absolutely no paradise, but at least higher education is free of any charge, the only thing we pay for is the cost of living and the books students need ( and those are mostly for free to borrow in a student library). We have higher taxes in order for the state to afford this, but I think in the long run it has served us well as a country. Many bright people from lower income or non academic families have been able to study and get a good job where they can be of use to society, my own parents being a good example. We have student loans, but they are only for cost of living and if you are lucky enough to be able to work during the university years you can walk out without any debt at all. And the debt from the student loans is far below what I have heard American and British students have to carry. I suppose I am sort of biased rather heavily towards a system I grew up with but I cannot think of a better thing a state can do for its young is to give all of them, not just the richest, a good education, or at least the opportunity ( there are sadly youngsters here who throw away their chances)to get yourself a good and free education. I am sorry, it was not my intention to make you look like you are responsible for how the society in the USA works, not at all, I just came to think about how different our countries are when I heard your story about your way though higher education. I am sure , for you, having to fight for something we here in Sweden take for granted can be beneficial in order for you to value it higher than we, who get a free education, does. So there are more than one way to look at this.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Your story is incredibly inspiring! I took a pause from writing in my journal because I would only get to it to vent and write toxic feelings and it felt like I was not going anywhere with it. I felt like I was constantly repeating myself and complaining about the same things. Does this happen to you at times? If that the case, how do you overcome it/shut those voices? Thank you so much again!

Thank you, Hemingway! Your experiences are shockingly similar to my own. Journal and fountain pens have saved me too.

I believe loving your daughter the way you do will give her exactly what she needs in life. Being truly loved as a child gives tremendous strength, the opposite of "soft" but loving and self loving. Anybody who is in any way "mean" as a child behaves like this because somebody is being "mean" to them. Have you ever watched or read anything by Rupert Spira, he explains really well how our dualistic thinking is the cause for much of our suffering. Thank you for sharing the experiences of your childhood, I can very much relate to growing up in an abusive family and I also had a grandfather & nature that where my sanctuary 🙏🌻

Thanks Hemingway for telling your story ( the man behind Hemingway Jones ) great person 💯🥇

Glad you are in a comfortable place to be able to share this! I came late to the realisation about choices… the earlier we learn that, the better. As a late-comer to fountain pens, I have found that having to slow down to write helps my thinking processes etc (as well as improving my handwriting), and even though I don’t journal, I practice ‘free writing’ of sorts which helps me focus.

Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your story. It appears our childhood shared a lot. I commend your work to end the cycle for yourself and your family.

Thanks!

Something I have witnessed in developmental psychiatry is loving a child makes it self-confident, beating a child makes it arduous.

If you want to get more Italian pens, I‘d consider a trip to Italy! There’s nothing nicer than buying pens where they originate. Aurora is one of my absolute favorite pen brands. They’re just perfect imho. Thank you for sharing your story! Mine is similar from the age of 6 to 19, then I left home and never turned back. Well, I not only left Ohio, the US and the continent, but I move to Germany permanently. I couldn’t get far enough away.

For me 70 is the new 50 !!

Have a happy Thanksgiving,best wishes from UK. Am enjoying Kaweco Brass sport and just received an Iguana Blue al sport.

Happy Thanksgiving sir Hemingway, I'm from the Philippines 🇵🇭 and also a fountain pen 🖋 collector..

Aurora Black is a favorite, also any black from Noodlers.

You mention the Declaration of Independence. Is not the John Hancock signature astounding? It is probably the most famous signature in history. I really wonder what happened to the quill and ink he used. Legend has it that when he wrote his huge flourishing name he said, " I sign so that George III can see it without using his spectacles." Magnificent!

I haven't tested it works but you could experiment with a fixative applied after the ink has dried, or even, dare I say it, something like hairspray. An ink designed to remain glossy would most likely cog the pen up (IMHO).

I be never so vile…😯. Great stuff man. 👍

I love black inks. I wear black, a lot of what I own is black, heck, even my pens are largely black! I like a deep deep black with a crisp contrast on the paper, and the best I've found so far is Diamine Onyx Black. Honourable mentions to (in order): Aurora, Namiki, Waterman, Pilot. I find Platinum Carbon Black, and Quink Black both very underwhelming and grey.

You are an educated, fascinating and very interested personality who is extremely ARTICULATE RS, MD, FRCS, Canada

Happy Thanksgiving to yr family. Frank in Oswego ill

"We teach the humans by means of THE PEN" Consiousness.

Hemingway, I have been wondering why you have two copies of Harper Lee’s Go Set a Watchman on your shelf. Did you buy it twice, forgetting that you already had it? That’s what I usually do. 😂

Homo Sapiens provides no way to check on ink level, which is a deal breaker for me--so far.

God bless fountain pens!✒

Sir collect all the 146 line.. especially the sterling silvers

I tend to use blue blacks more than true black.

So sad to hear that your poor father died when you were a toddler. He never had the chance to see you blossom.

What is your line of employment if I may ask. I'm a professional bodybuilder.....and firearms instructor for military, police and civilians. Thank you sir.

The 149 is to big for my hands..

You Sir, do not look 55... I am 57 and thought you you were late 20s or early 30s. Your hair is so thick and you don't seem to have many wrinkles! 😄 Best wishes for every continued success. Cam, Australia.