I'm the estranged sister. For almost 20 years now. We the estranged have our reasons... It was a decision I wish I didn't make but back then I couldn't not make it. Out of all my family I still miss my sister and my father. But there is just no way back at this point. You're a lovely young man, you speak so sincerely. I very much hope that your brother finds his way back to you.

For several years i've been back and forth with my father and a little over a year ago I made my final decision to cut all contact cold turkey. My little brother Who is the only sibling I share both mom and dad with; Sees our childhoods very differently. he is too wrapped up in my dad... It has been very difficult to cut contact with my dad while still trying to maintain that relationship with my brother. Sometimes I feel like cutting things with my dad was entirely pointless if I'm not gonna cut things with him because he's always gonna be like a mini version of my dad and will always be going to bat for my dad. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to cut my brother off as well rather than trying to figure out how to separate the two but i'm so scared of losing him entirely. Regardless of how differently he views the childhood we experienced.... In my mind... I think maybe we are kind of trauma bonded and he just doesn't see it like that because he has eithwr blocked out everything entirely or flipped the trauma on its head to make it more bearable... im not sure what one but i remember everything we went through and i dont wanna lose him.

I know that there are two sides to every story. It’s hard to know exactly why your brother has become as strange from the family, but at the same time, I do understand that it was not fair to you. Because you had nothing to do with what was going on at the time. I’m sure you miss the wonderful times you had with him. You speak so sincerely about him. I hope you are able to reunite with your brother eventually if not already, and your faith, and God will definitely help you in life. Hopefully you continue to believe in him.

Imma keep it 1000 with you. You’re being super vague about what the actual issue is and that changes quite a lot depending on why and what. From what little you do say he’s avoiding your mom and dad took her side in whatever so that’s why he’s cut off. You were collateral by virtue of being a minor and thus around the people he cut off. When you became of age the issue then became that (it appears) you downplayed your brothers experiences or relationship with your mom and essentially took her side in whatever the issue is. You tried to play peacemaker and it backfired so he cut you out because of it. The condescending religious thing is also concerning and makes me feel wary of how much you’re omitting in the story. Like you have told essentially nothing. There are plenty of valid reasons to cut off family members and the fact you haven’t told what the reason is or like “I don’t remember what the issue is” likely means you aren’t taking it seriously or you don’t believe him both of which are reasons he’d stop communicating with you. Anyway that’s all I got. Good luck with whatever my guy.

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