❤

I'm really sorry you had to go through this, and makes me angry at those doctors who confidently "know" something when they don't know! But now that YOU know, I'm sure a whole world of opportunities is opening up to you. Good luck with everything! PS: Dear People: hormonal or chemical imbalance effects everyone mentally and physically, man or woman or anything in between. If you don't feel right, have someone check your parameters!

As one of the “mostly male strangers on the internet”, I just want to say I’m so relieved to see this post. More people need to know more about this topic. I’m so sorry for the struggles you face, but let me tell you, the world is a better place with you in it! Your infectious enthusiasm and excellent content in your videos have helped me through a very dark time. THANK YOU! And Be well.

Simone is like a quiet angel in the background of KZfaqrs cheering them and convincing them to talk about difficult things through pure love. ❤

As a man I don't know what it's like to be on birth control but I do know how it feels to not want to be alive anymore and I also know what it's like when a friend makes that choise. I am glad you're still here and that you're doing better.

Whenever my wife has had hers replaced (once for age, once after removal for a planned pregnancy) its been drummed into my head by the nurse I need to watch her for the next 6 months for suicidal tendencies these things are brutal on some women 😢

The most unfortunate aspect of KZfaq flagging this video is that they are flagging it for the wrong reason. This is a video that young women under the age of 16 should has access to too.

Xyla, I'm an engineering school dropout who found another career. I felt I wasn't good enough when that dream died. Your channel brings so much joy to those of us who genuinely love creating and building new things. Please know you're supported, and cared for deeply.

❤ you and Allen were there for me at one of my lowest -- if you ever need anything at all, like anything, I'm here for you. Thank you for sharing

So sorry you had to go through this, but glad you're doing better and figured out what was going on! Sounds like a nightmare.

Xyla, I am someone who has seen a few of your videos and KZfaq put this one up on my “wall” to see. I am an Ob/Gyn doctor and I am so sorry you had to go thought this mess. Your doctors really don't know what they are doing. It is not difficult to become a physician, it is more difficult to really understand human physiology and subsequently pathophysiology. Many doctors understand the basics and couldn’t or didn’t process your symptoms and you have suffered so much. It pains me to hear of stories like yours and unfortunately, I hear them time and time again especially with pelvic pain. Yes, your symptoms could have been managed differently and properly with a change of medications that would not have resulted in you becoming so depressed. It is well known in the OBGYN community that progestins like the one in your IUD can have serious mood changes and your doctors should have LISTENED to you and taken appropriate action. So many doctors are quick to dismiss symptoms and that troubles me so much. Unfortunately, it is hard to find good doctors who LISTEN and UNDERSTAND. We go to Medical School so we can take care of the whole person, not just one part of the body we specialize in. I wish you were based in New York so I could have taken care of you. Harry Karamitsos, MD

Xyla, thank you for speaking openly and honestly about your experience, it takes an incredible amount of bravery to open yourself up to strangers like this. A former partner had an IUD fitted and her entire demeanour changed; she went from being happy, caring & whip-smart to emotionally cold, spiteful & cruel. Thankfully she spoke with her doctor, relaying my and others concerns about her personality changes, had the IUD removed, and began returning to the wonderful person she was. Her account was that during the time she had the IUD, inwardly she felt nothing, felt empty and my and others attempts to help were taken as being hurtful and critical. To everyone out there, please look out for your partners, friends and family's mental health, it's ok to not be ok and never hesitate in asking for help. ❤

As a veteran who suffers from PTSD and a severe depression disorder, I just want to say I'm glad you're still here.

Thanks for sharing Xyla. I actually think your audience (mostly male) needs to know about this more than anyone so that we can support those around us if they fall victim to it. I wish you all the best with your journey!

I just told my grandkids about your channel, particularly my two girls. I want you to be an inspiration for them. Get help please when you feel you need it. You are awesome and we want you around for a long time. I enjoy your videos so much. I am an engineer as well, retired when I thought I still had so much to give, but that is society for you. Kick you to the curb when you finally realize you have learned something.I love sharing that knowledge with my family and friends and realize there are people out there - like you - that do a much better job using the latest social media resources.

I'm older than your parents. I am so impressed with your character, integrity and intelligence. Watching this was so painful as I related to this as a father. I wish and hope the very best for you and know that you have what it takes to conquer this. You are a wonderful person. Take care. We will be here for you.

My daughter took her own life and I'd do anything to change it. If your words help one person it's worthwhile. I applaud your courage for talking about this. ❤️❤️

41-year-old male veteran with PTSD, anxiety, and depression here. You're not crazy. You're not alone. We're all here for you.

You are worthy, you are loved, and you are more than enough. Of course people love all the amazing things you make and do. Your talent and creativity are an inspiration. But your worth is so much more than what you do. It's who you are. That will never change. It will never go away. You will always be enough.

For anyone watching this, let's crush this taboo of not talking about mental health. Staying silent is the worst option. Good luck Xyla! We love you and the work you do.

As a male stranger on the internet, I just wanted to say that I believe you. I'm so sorry that you've gone through all of this, and I'm so glad to hear that things are getting better. I also think it's really inspirational that you've found the strength to make a video like this, and I'm really looking forwards to seeing what you've been working on!

Honestly my already-existing admiration for Simone Giertz has doubled in the last two days after seeing her step up to help both Xyla and Diana and make sure that that bad-news that we all needed to hear got heard. Huge round of applause. Xyla, I'm unbelievably glad you felt you could trust your community with a video this vulnerable, and I'm happy to hear you're doing better. I follow you on social and I could not remotely tell something was wrong, so this video was quite a shock. Praying your upwards trend continues.

Xyla, Never doubt that you are amazing. I started watching your channel because of the wonderful things you do. You have inspired me to get off my duff and do things I have always wanted to try. If you just turned 26, you are just a year older than my oldest 2 granddaughters and you have accomplished so much. I have also had issues with suicidal thoughts but I did not have to deal with the medical / hormonal issues that you did. You are stronger than I ever was or will be. This 70 year old man looks up to you and I wish you all the best. We have missed you and send you our hopes, strength, love and prayers. Please get well, keep up the good fight and continue to inspire us with your zany exploits.

Thank you for posting this. My wife has an IUD that's going to need to be replaced soon, and this is definitely a conversation to have that we are going to take into account. I'm really glad that you happened to have the support network around you that prevented things from being truly permanent. Makes me sad and angry that the modern system we're a part of has flaws as deep and blind as this. You're an inspiration.

My mom had to fight for years with doctors telling her that "she was fine" and "she just wanted" meds. Finally she found a doctor that took her seriously, and within months helped her find the root cause of her problem - a hernia or growth on her brain stem. Doctors not taking their patients seriously and especially telling them "you're fine" when they're there to tell doctors that they're not fine, that's a huge problem across America and likely the world. Thanks for talking about it.

My wife has just gone through the exact same thing although it came at a time of upheaval so it took a while to realise. She pulled hers herself and immediately helped. Like your story she spoke to her gynaecologist about bad reactions to other hormonal birth control and it was brushed aside. She felt she couldn’t tell people how bad it was because she though she would be told she was crazy. Thank-you for talking about it.

I believe you 100%. By age, you could be my daughter and I am in awe of your projects, your ambition, and your achievements. To hear that you were in so much pain and so far from good is heartbreaking to hear. I'm glad you're feeling better, and I don't expect you to be "Perfect Xyla!" all the time. "Good enough Xyla" is still an amazing young woman. Lots of love from Seattle.

This is the most important thing I've watched in ages. The implications of chemical control the pharma industry has, the incredulity of the medical profession, the personal impact and need for more information expressed so honestly by one of the most intelligent and vibrant people ever, ...there's so much to digest and be genuinely concerned about. Thank you SO much for posting this. You're always inspiring and thought provoking. Now you're opening up topics that are so urgently marginalized and not ever even considered. Thank you Xyla

This video is totally on brand for you and your channel. Empowering girls and women through STEM is one of your core messages, imo, and being able to openly and frankly discuss health concerns is a huge part of that. Also, on point w.r.t. the FAA and mental health. Absolutely boggles the mind that they seem to prefer untreated or self-treated pilots instead of diagnosed and managed conditions. Keep on doing you, you are an inspiration to many.

I'm a random man on the internet and am sorry to hear you've been through this. It's shocking to hear about the lack of data. These things need to be studied so that practitioners can give the best advice. I hope you continue to get better.

Thank you Xyla for opening up about this! So glad you are feeling better but very mad your pain wasn't acknowledged sooner. I'm sure this video will help in spreading awareness. Sending you a supportive hug ❤

As a random male on the internet, I can't say I know what it's like to have an IUD, but I can say I know what it's like to have my hormones out of balance. I was chronically fatigued, just going through life like a zombie until my doctor figured out I had low T and high E. After starting treatment, I was practically a different person. Better in my case. I am sorry you have had such a rough time, but I am glad you are starting to feel better. I am excited for what videos you have planned to share 😊

As one of your few female viewers, I feel for you. I've had doctors tell me "it's nothing" while I'm literally covered in bruises because my body is eating itself. Even female doctors tend to downplay women's bodies as though you're just over reacting. It's really hard to get doctors to believe us. I'm glad you kept insisting something that something was wrong and that it needed fixing. ❤

My dad sent me your video and I just wanted to thank you so much for your strength. I went through the exact same experience and described it almost exactly the same way you did. I felt insane, out of control, like someone was piloting my body against my will. And for the longest time I constantly felt like “if I could just be stronger” or “if I could just suck it up” then I wouldn’t be affected the way I was. But hearing you talk about your experiences was so validating. I’m so sorry you went through that, but I want to thank you so much for making people like us feel less alone.

I was absolutely blown away when I taught middle school, and again when I taught high school. I was shocked at how little these kids knew about how... anything worked. As a biologist I knew I probably had a *little* more knowledge than most folks, but that experience drove home that something has to change about how we educate ourselves about our own bodies and health and diet. *random internet hugs* I'm beyond glad you made it through the Not OK period, and sincerely appreciate you sharing your story.

Thank you sharing something so personal with us Xyla, stepping up and speaking about it is pretty much a super power.

Every one of us here would rather have an alive Xyla than ever see another video. You are incredibly strong and we are all rooting for you!

Xyla, I am a 17 year old male, and I have 3 older friends that are on birth control, I know that with every single one of them, there are a lot of diffrent problems. I am glad, that videos like these exist and You help to educate others, and You are speaking out loud about this topic. I wish you all the best!!!

Thank you for your service. My buddy lost his leg from an IUD in Iraq.

As someone that suffers clinical depression, I have an understanding. You have my support. I always look forward to seeing your videos.

Xyla, up until this you were one of my favorite content creators. Now, you are also one of my heroes💙 As a random internet dude who struggled with depression for decades, I know how much bravery this took. Thank you.

It takes bravery to speak up Xyla, this video is eye opening and that's from someone who understands how hormones can screw you up. If more people talked about this and it became part of the awareness of general population then there is hope for an improvement in the situation. We all suffer in silence but we don't have to.

I 100% believe you and you are helping people by telling your experience. Everyone will have different experiences and reactions but maybe seeing this they can get information they could use constructively to help inform them on a situation they possibly could be in themselves

I just recently found your videos and watched a few and then YT presented this one to me. Thank you for sharing your experience in regards to mental health, women's health, knowing yourself, and just being aware that what others see may not be the whole story. For too long mental health issues have been forced to be hidden or you're "crazy" or something. Just as an imbalance in your body can cause diabetes or high blood pressure, an imbalance can cause a wide range of "mental" issues. There should be no shame in seeking help and nobody should be told "it's just in your head." From discussions with friends, I realize that women often have more of an issue convincing doctors or other professionals that something is wrong, but I've also seen it myself. We should all listen to our bodies and not be willing to accept that "it's nothing" when our instincts are telling us otherwise. Finally, I deal with chronic joint pain and can understand the lack of motivation and not wanting to get out of bed because everything just hurts - yet from the outside I look "perfectly normal." More people need to realize that what they're seeing on the surface may not be the whole story. Again, thank you for sharing and I'm glad that you're doing better and the world will be a better place for having you in it actively making things and enjoying life. ❤

I remember talking to my gf when we first started dating and her saying why she was so afraid and unwilling to use hormonal birth control. As a man I really was not aware of all the risks. None of my ex gfs or woman in my family had ever mentioned so I had to re educate myself and realize how intense it could be for woman. Thank you so much for bringing your experience into attention

Reproductive and Mental health are both so stigmatized that it makes discussing them, finding help, and even finding information about them so much more difficult that it needs to be. I'm really glad to hear that you've got a successful support network that help keep you with us for another year. Because we as a society need amazing people like you. Take care of yourself, prioritize your health, and we'll gladly wait for your next video regardless of whether or not it ever comes.

I'm deeply touched by this. I'm struggling through a difficult time and many of the feelings you've described I can relate to. I've been jobless for about four months, which is the the longest period in my life I've been without a job. I'm on my own and very alone and not sure what I'll do when all my money is gone. I keep trying to push forward and trying hard to believe that someone wants me as their employee. There must be someone out there who can use my skills and abilities, right? To hear others, like yourself, get beyond extremely difficult times reminds me that I can too. Thank you for sharing.

The book "Your Brain On Birth Control" was very eye opening for me. I ended up asking some female friends of mine if they knew potential side effects, and they weirdly enough weren't informed by their physicians at all. Like that it blunts cortisol women's system. Cortisol is also needed for the ‘fight or flight’ response, which is your healthy, natural response to perceived threats. The amount of cortisol produced is controlled by your body to ensure the balance is correct. I'm not against birth control, but it disturbs me the amount of information that is not communicated to young women before they start taking it. Glad your feeling better :) and I hope things continue to be better.

Man. I can't tell you how much I love Simone, every time she shows up somewhere it's made better for it.

Thank you for being strong enough to speak out. Ten years ago I survived Toxic Shock Syndrome and my Dr told me that most modern cases are like mine: caused by a brand new tampon, not forgetting one in. But because it's rare, like what happened to you, no one really talks about it or bothers researching it. It can feel so lonely to be that statistical unlikelihood, and I know the exhaustion of making ourselves feel whole again makes it hard to have the energy to talk about it. I'm proud of you and grateful you're here to share your story.

I am so sorry you had to go through these episodes of depression. Your KZfaq work is so wonderful to watch and always makes me happy. You fly model rockets (BIG ONES) and you fly a airplane; you even flew a friend to Catalina! (I once tried a computer flying program and crashed into Catalina. Oopsies, not pilot material.) You make incredible things that I can only dream of doing, and your video documentation is terrific. I could go on, so I will. You did a TED talk? Dang! You built a sailboat? WOW. (I built a fake pirate ship in my backyard, stuck in the dirt. It doesn't work, and I don't go sailing on the ocean anyway as I get seasick and I'm not a good swimmer.) But you do all these things! YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. As an old man I'm not supposed to understand those hormonal changes women have to go through. Yes, hormonal changes are VERY significant and that's what those IUD medications do. I am an ER physician (retired now) & must apologize for those doctors who "know everything." The first thing we learned in med school (USC, yeah) was that half the things we were learning were wrong, but we don't know which half. I'm sorry that you had an GYN doc who forgot to treat you as a real person with knowledge and feelings. Plus, they were wrong! As for your episodes of depression, I, for one, will NEVER give up on you! Looking forwards to watching more of your videos.

Wow... I just found your tear drop video and absolutely fell in love with you, your project and your talent and energy so much that I started looking at your channel and found this. I am so SO glad that you found the courage and emotional, medical and financial support to hang on through all of this horrible, terrifying chasm you've endured. I'm absolutely FURIOUS with your GYN. Honestly, they are literally NOT fit to be in practice... Their negligence and failure to take you seriously almost cost you your life. This is a clear case of malpractice, particularly given that you had experienced the same thing when the first IUD was installed. Thank god you had a decent GP who actually listened to and took you seriously. I am grateful you're still with us. You make more of a difference than you know just being here and being you. Honestly, YOU. ARE. AMAZING. Truly. I can't believe you're only 26 years old and doing all that you're doing. I'm 62 and was doing a lot of the same things as you at your age. Flying, sky diving, going on adventures, etc. But damn girl...not even close to what you've been up to! Entrepreneur in your early 20's? TED Talk?? DAMN!!! YOU are seriously fricken amazing! I know from personal experience that you feel what you feel when you feel it, so telling someone not to feel a certain way is dumb. But with a bit more life experience under my belt, maybe that qualifies me to just say that you are absolutely enough, you are absolutely worthy, and you are just perfect the way you are...AND the way you not! No apology necessary for being YOU. I've never met you and I love and respect you immensely. I love your courage to persevere, your amazing energy and passion, and I love you for unapologetically being you, being your remarkable self and absolutely going for it in your life in all your glory. I love you for SHARING all of this deeply personal stuff that's nobody's business, on KZfaq no less, so that other women (and men) can learn about this and know that it's real and they're not crazy if it happens to them. So that they might have the courage to hang on too. I had a very dear friend about your age who was also absolutely amazing. And she too fell into a hole, but she didn't reach out to get the support she needed and she ended her life. It's absolutely tragic. I still can't believe that she's gone... I WISH she had seen this courageous video before she left...💔 So thank you for your courage and for sharing. I'm totally rooting for you. Hang in there and whatever you do, find another form of birth control that won't wreck you when this IUD runs out of gas. 😘

The side effects and realities of female contraception are not talked about enough. I try to talk about my experience with it as much as possible and I'm so glad you made this video. I followed you at Christmas and was wondering why I'd not seen anything from you. Really glad to hear you're feeling better and I wish you the best with your recovery. Looking forward to seeing what you've got in store!

My wife has experienced IUD hormone induced emotional issues in the past. Mental and emotional issues from any cause are truly one of the scariest things to watch from the outside or to look back upon. I'm so very glad you're still here. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable and sharing this. Take the time you need to start getting your life back together.

Glad you are still on our Earth, and thank you so much for sharing. We love and support you!

As a man who requires synthetic hormones to not fall into the depths of depression due to cancer nearly 25 years ago, I totally get where you are coming from. In my experience, most doctors have zero clue or care regarding hormones and their effect on mental health. Stay strong, keep reading and be firm with your medical professionals. You are the customer and they do not know everything.

As a guy dealing with mental issues himself the part of how it effects your life and career hit me hard. Glad you're feeling better!

You are one of the greatest role models for my daughter and your ability to talk about yourself like this only proves how valuable a voice you are to everyone, especially aspiring engineers and makers like my daughter

just found you on YT. came for the builds, stayed for your amazing spirit. you're doing a great job, ledge.

: : hugz : : from your old stomping grounds in Ohio. I did not know how to respond when I first watched this, but I've reflected on it for a few weeks and have decided it cannot go without comment. I have been in awe of your work and your insight, and carried along with your joy and enthusiasm -- you are a rare gift upon the face of this earth. That you had to endure this -- twice -- and you find the inner strength to share your story accomplishes the impossible -- I now hold you in even more esteem than ever before. You are surrounded by wonderful people, but when you need them most, you will be unlikely to find a way to reach out to them -- the paradox of such conditions. But, for what this small pebble of reinforcement might hope to help accomplish, hear me -- you are loved by many, and you will get the love, support, and even help -- if you can just break through the force field of that hormonal washing machine long enough to make it known. When you need to make the pillow fort and turn inward, only you can determine that. But when you emerge, go forth and make beauty in this world, Xyla -- you were born for this.

I share my wife’s account, but it’s her husband writing: Xyla, I’m so happy you’ve made it through these past few months. My wife has had similar experiences throughout her life, and she was also not understood by her doctors. I hope this helps thousands of women who are also affected so strongly by hormone therapy.

I very rarely comment on videos, or indeed anything online, but this is important. Thank you. I'm a man and not affected by birth control, but I've seen others be affected. It's a big and serious issue that isn't talked about or taken seriously enough. Even if I don't have the underlying cause of birth control side effects, I do have a good bunch of mental health issues and it always makes me proud of someone who dares talk about it openly, no matter the reasons behind them. One day I'll be that person for somebody else. You inspire me, thank you and good luck on your road to full recovery.

As a "mostly male stranger on the internet", I want say that I really appreciate when information like this is shared. Over the past few decades I have read/watched quite a bit about female reproductive health and I have been able to use this to help others. There have been a number of times when women of whom I found out they were struggling with menstrual pain who got diagnosed with endometriosis on my suggestion. So I may not run the risk of running into these issues, this problem with IUDs was new to me, I will certainly use this information to look out for my female friends/co-workers. Thanks! Also... It's been a few months, I hope you're doing better ♥

Thanks for sharing. I'm struggling a lot with anxiety and depression since a few months back and it really helps to learn about how other people are coping with it and fighting. You made my day a little bit brighter.

That's a genuinely scary experience you're going through. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be to talk about something so personal in front of thousands of people, but it was really good of you to do it and I hope you, and anyone else living through similar medical troubles, can be taken seriously and get all the help they need. We the fans are all here for you in whatever capacity you require, and are sending all the love and support your way. Also a big thank you to Simone for helping you with this story, she's been an absolute sweetheart lately helping people, much love to her too.

My wife went through so much with oral meds and had an even worse go of it when she tried the injections; and while this was back in the 90s and early oughts for her, your story resonates, and it is heartbreaking. I just can’t fathom in this day and age a physician, most notably a specialist, not taking such horrifying experiences and their timing with one significant medical change seriously. I am thankful your PCP had more consideration, and I am thankful you are on the mend. Your content has always been a joy to watch, because it’s always seemed honest and so full of passion. You take care, first and foremost, and I, for one, look forward to seeing whatever content you are willing to share on whatever schedule you can manage. Our little digital worlds are brighter with you in it.

Have been sharing your videos with my daughter these past couple years. It’s been my hope that your energy and enthusiasm help spark her curiosity and wonder. Thanks so much for sharing this personal struggle. It’s helped prepare me to understand what my daughter may face as she gets older. So happy to hear you’ve been getting better. ❤

Thank you for making this video and sharing your experience. My wife is going thru pre-menopausal changes and our primary care physician offered very similar device implant. Wifey was against it as we have heard many horror stories. The biggest problem here is the fact that nobody gives a crap. Not many people talk about it because of the stigma of society. “You are spending to much time on the internet” attitude is terrifying. “You don’t want the IUD? Go on a pill. Oh you have high blood pressure? You can’t go on the pill. Get used to how you’re feeling and learn to be ok with it.”

Thanks so much for sharing this with us Xyla. It's a shocking thing to hear, not just because of the gravity of it (and the shocking lack of understanding that still plagues anything related to women's health) but also because you are a beacon of talent, skill, intelligence and kindness in the world. It's hard to reconcile how someone so amazing and so inspiring can have such a difficult time, but that's the reality of mental/physical health we often gloss over. You have a legion of adoring fans who want to see you succeed, but more importantly to succeed in a way that remains good for your wellbeing. Keep being awesome and building cool ass shit!

"Cool, Byeeeee" perfect ending for today's installment. Don't ever feel not good enough, your content is great (and greatly varied) and always cool. As one of the large % of males in your audience, I do applaud you for talking about the challenges you've been through. I truly hope you are back to feeling like your "old self" soon, I'm sure we'd all love to see more new stuff with you being you - whatever that is on the day!

I believe you, I lost my best friend my love 12 years ago to one of these... I'm glad you're bringing this out, it needs to be recognized and fixed. Keep your head up!!!! Love your videos keep up the great work!!!!

Thank you so much for speaking up. You deserve better and I hope you feel better soon! 💕

As a fellow pilot, I hear you. I went through a time in college where I was to afraid of losing my medical and destroying my career to seek help. As someone lacking a uterus, I appreciate the insight into things the women in my life may be experiencing. As a fan, we're here for you if and when you want us. Take care of yourself and pass along thanks to your friends for providing such a strong support circle. Thanks for sharing, and for the fantastic content you make for us.

Damn Xyla, so sorry to hear you've had to go through this (again)! Big thanks for putting this video out there - it really is a huge issue around women's health not being taken seriously in a medical context. I hear it time and time again from the people close to me :( I think I can safely speak for all of us here when I say we're all very glad you're still with us, and we'll happily be excited for upcoming build videos

It took about 8 tries to get past the warning to watch this. The ministry of you-know-what is alive, and well. I stopped watching this channel because of something incredibly big ot y you said once, (don’t ask, because I genuinely don’t recall the specific remark) but you’re still young, and clearly growing. This was a great video. I hope all the young ladies get to see it. In a couple years, I will certainly show my daughter. You do great work Ms. Foxlin.

You've made something very powerful here. I'm sharing this with all the women in my life. You make a difference. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing this.

I wish we could normalize talking about depression and suicidal ideation. It would help a lot of people. I'm glad you are making it through.

Xyla, thank you so much for telling your story 🙏 I (nerdy male viewer) am so humbled by your integrity and courage. Somewhere out there a woman will be saved because of this video. You have stood in harm’s way for her. ❤

Incredible struggle and strength to work through it. So glad you had good friends during such a hard time. Thank you for sharing this, we can only hope that others who have similar symptoms find this video.

I'm glad you published this video, Xyla. Your situation is not uncommon. I've heard stories from several women where hormonal birth control has destroyed their mental well-being. It took them all far too long to realize that their birth control was the root cause.

It annoys me that KZfaq flagged this video. The messages in here are things that everyone should hear. I'm glad that you're doing better and have found such an amazing support network.

I'm so, SOOOO proud of you for having the personal strength to record, edit, and post this! Two things that are ridiculously understudied in our healthcare system are mental health and women's health. Whenever you are having a rough day, remember, there are literally THOUSANDS of people out here who know (not just think) you are awesome, and beautiful inside and out.

As a clueless dude, it is definitely something that I was unaware of and apparently to you too. It is great that you have discovered the source of the melancholy in your life and that you and your primary care doctor and others are addressing it with you. It is difficult to reconcile the beautiful, bubbly young woman with the one having dark moments/days/weeks/months. I truly wish you good physical & mental health. Thank you for sharing. I hope your friends and family fully understand and provide you with comfort and support.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I worked with a young lady who had her first IUD and it flipped her personality overnight. She lost all her energy and would take many bathroom breaks just to cry and cry. We covered and helped as much as we could until she quit. I understand that she had it removed and saw that she was working again with a different company. I hope you don’t have to go through this every five years and perhaps some solution may be found to help. I really enjoy your videos which are fun, exciting and inspirational. I wish you the best!

thank you for your candor and your bravery in opening up about this deeply personal topic.

Woah! Thank you so much for being so brave and open, I bled continuously for the first 6months I had my IUD- the doctor had no idea. Didn’t realised the % was so much higher at the start 🤯 their needs to be more open conversation about this so thank you!

So strong of you to speak out. Thank you for making and sharing this video.

I'm just one of those guys that watches once in a while. I was choosing between two videos to watch while I had a little time and I'm glad I picked this one. I'm glad you're doing better and I'm thankful for you sharing your experince to bring validation to others going through any similar experience.

I take your word about this immediately. I have seen women go from happy, bubbly, engaging, to depressed, unpleasant, etc. Hormonal birth control is in my opinion, from my experience, a nightmare for many, and it is high time we find different solutions. Male contraceptives included. Xyla, I wish you all the best. You're an amazing person and content creator.

I have to admit that knowing about this issue with IUD's was something I was unaware of, so just the fact that you are mentioning this online is a positive thing. I went from being pretty much the happiest I had ever been into really depressed over about 6 months in my Thirties and it all goes pear-shaped so fast! What REALLY helps is recognising it in yourself because until you see it in yourself and realise the changes are needed, no-one can really tell you that. This video seems like a step in that direction, so it is a positive step and it hopefully means things are getting more positive for you. Find small things that make you happy, mine is a nice coffee and cheese and crackers and I do this every day, as my brain is now conditioned to gain a small dose of happiness every time I eat or drink this stuff - I also know it is cheap and it means that even when I am financially wrecked, i should be able to do it. Don't feel guilt about not posting, it is FAR more important to help yourself and we are fans, so we aren't going anywhere. Take your time, you don't need to fake it, just take time and be there for you, if you do that then you will eventually be there for us again. Am in my Fifties now and I have learnt one thing - life is always a bit of a bugger and the trick is to realise that sometimes it will all go wrong and that builds resilience in a person and resilience can help you more than you know.

I just discovered your channel. After watching several delightful videos of your builds I saw this. All I can say is to commend your bravery and honesty.

It's an important topic that needs to be talked about. You are very brave to make this public. Love your channel, you are an inspiration.

Don't have a uterus, but have had major depressive disorder since 19. I feel for you. Thanks for all you do, it means a lot!

As a guy who was also suicidal, there are only 2 reasons I'm still alive today. One of those is my friend who was heavily pregnant, so she was home all day - we spoke almost every day for weeks, sometimes spending 6-8 hours on the phone and I can't even remember what we spoke about anymore. But those kinds of people are amazing and I'm so glad you have those in your life too ❤

Hi Xyla, I recently found your channel via the makers secret Santa of 2023 and I’m glad I did your projects are amazing and so are you, I so glad you not only were able to figure out what was happening to you but have the courage to make this video which will both help you and others that may not be aware of this. I myself have gone through a major life changing experience about 26 years ago that changed my life forever and unfortunately no one knows what happened nor how to fix it, so I’m so glad you were able to figure out what was happening to you and by the look of it you are working your way through this very difficult time. I will be, like many other here watching your amazing videos and your amazing smile as you have fun learning and building your amazing projects. So Thank-you for being you and again I’m so glad you found your way through that unfortunate situation. Take care.

I have barely been outside of my own city for the past 16 years due to crippling anxiety, back in 2008 i couldn't leave the house, so i can understand the struggles you are facing. Having people who support you is key, and talking about it, being open, is essential, at least it has been for me, even though i still got ways to go before I'm 'back to normal'.. I've accepted the fact that i will never go back to being my old self, i can only work towards a better present self. It takes time, and it's important to know that it's ok. We can't always be at our best. And my belief is that most people are understanding and patient, if you're open about why you are struggeling from time to time. Stay strong, and keep making the great content that you do :) And as dumbledore once said; Help will always be given, to those who ask for it.

Just making this video and being open about what you've been going through is a thank you to your community. I'm glad you've got people around you to keep you going, and I am grateful you are brave enough to share this with everyone.

What you've been through is awful and shocking, and I'm sorry this has happened to you TWICE. This video must have been super hard to make - thank you for having the courage to make it to shine a light on how physical health and mental health are linked. It's more than likely that you'll have saved at least one person's life. So, thank you, and please never apologize for how you're feeling. Glad you're still here.

Thanks for sharing, Xyla. I'm really glad you're doing better! It must be some comfort to have a real answer about what happened to you, twice. I had never heard of this risk, and I bet a lot of people haven't! By choosing to share with all of us, you're equipping us to spot the signs in ourselves, our friends and family. You've made a difference with your story.

Wow, that sucks that you had to go through all that! My heart goes out to anyone suffering in this way. If I were you, I'd feel seriously cheated by what happened, but we can't fall into victimhood. It's so much better if we can find ways of dealing with it constructively. Speaking out about what happened to you is a great step towards mental health as well as awareness on this topic, so cheers to you! My son, diagnosed with ADHD like so many others when he was young, was on medication for this and found after a while that while it was helping him concentrate, it was making him depressed. We told him to get off it right away. Even if he fails out of college, it wouldn't be worth it. I feel like God has great plans for you Xyla! Never doubt your worth, you are like gold!