Which of Dr. Ramani's signs of narcissism have you spotted in your roommate or friend? Let us know in the comments below - we want to hear your story. Watch 100+ exclusive mental health videos with Dr. Ramani HERE: bit.ly/38o1kVd

People always talk about love bombing in romantic relationships, but it totally happens in friendships too.

Narcissistic friends are very charming and helpful. They seem like nice people (the covert ones) but if you’re observant enough, you will catch veiled hostility, triangulation especially when they’re bored and ready to discard you.

You should always be able to tell someone who is your good friend to stop doing something thats bothering you, without them fighting you about it.

For every narcissist, there is an enabler who faithfully builds up the narcissist.

I know I'm friends with a narc when I feel this need to "win" their approval by being clever enough, giving enough, cool enough etc to avoid being lumped in with "everyone else" they trash. It feels like that knot in your stomach of one wrong move and you'll catch hell and be out of their good graces. Like when I start losing myself in who THEY'D approve of rather than who I am. If I get home and I'm like "who was that ...that's not me" I know I'm in the presence of a narc.

The friend who monopolizes the conversation 80% of the time. Turns every topic you bring up right back to themselves. Gas lights you when you cant follow their tirades with I told you about that don't you listen to me. Gets nasty when you don't agree or point out their flaws. Never asks about your life and on rare occasions when they do, immediately turns conversation back to themselves. Everyone else in their life is wrong, flawed or out to get them. It's exhausting and emotionally unfulfilling.

After 10 years invested in what I considered a close friendship, I finally learned this person is a narcissist after I reflected on lots of isolated events that left me doubting myself or feeling disrespected. I realized this person has no empathy, likes to tell me how to live my life, judges, condescends and shames. I tolerated it for years and that was the most painful realization but I just let it all go and feel so much better without the mind twisting.

Keeping narcissistic friends around is not wise if they emotionally abuse you. They don’t have to financially exploit you in order to be toxic.

The worse thing you can do to yourself is go back to a narcissistic relationship be it friendship or otherwise. Once you shut that door, KEEP IT SHUT!

When you come from a household of narcs, then a friend with the same personality traits would be familiar.

I think the main warning sign which tends to be an early indicator of narcissism, is little digs and sly put downs. They can often be quite subtle so they _almost_ pass you by, but you'll likely find yourself dwelling on them and wonder what they meant or why they said it. This is the narc's way of testing your boundaries and if you challenge them they'll just say 'I was only joking' or 'God. You're so sensitive'. Eventually, though, when they feel more relaxed in your company, the comments will ramp up and become more personal and insulting and when you outright tell them that it's not acceptable, this is when you will see their explosive narcissistic rage.

I recently have an argument with a narcissist. Such a waste of time 😂

It took me sixteen years to see through a malignant narcissistic friend! Went no contact almost a year ago..best decision I have made for myself.

If you keep them “on the shelf” you still need to avoid sharing any of your personal business. Keep topics very generic.

I recently ended a 6 year friendship with a narcissist! Lack of empathy, self awareness and entitlement superficiality... all of it. Finally saw her true colors tho and I’m so glad I did😊

So true. You don't truly know a friend until you live or vacation with them.

Man I have had friendships that felt like romantic breakups where "we need to talk" has happened

I went on a cruise ship trip with a long time friend and omg she went 24/7 histrionics. Everything was a complete blow up, allergic to my hair spray and perfume, went outside of the room yelling and crying. I finally moved into a complete stranger's room who felt bad for me. I knew this woman for over 10 years and had no idea she was like this. I think she was a borderline but I'm not sure. After the trip was over, she sent me a 8 page handwritten letter how much of a horrible person I am. I got past the first page and threw it out, never talked to her again.

Had a narc "friend" once. Screwed my mind so badly it was years before I trusted anyone who was friendly toward me. Still, after 20 some years, it is hard for me to know if a person is truly friendly, or whether I will end up on that roller coaster again. As a result, I have only acquaintances. No real friends anymore. When the wall goes up, it is hard to break it down.

A tricky thing about a narcissistic friend, they can listen to you when the things you talk about interest them or are simple enough things to respond to, however any more nuance or personal-topic than the most surface level of things will make them disinterested in you as a person. They can also be good friends to other people and exude these characteristics with just you

In my experience they're not that direct as to say "I don't do the listening thing". I've heard "I'd love to hear but I've gotta go" and they gather up their things, or they change the subject really fast and go on and on while your head spins. If you're on the phone, suddenly they have to hang up now - "but we'll talk soon" and they never call back. They love to say "I'd really love to but..." Their minds work so fast that they can come up with a valid sounding excuse in an instant.

I lived with a narcissist and it was the most frustrating experience ever

Friendships tend to revolve round similar interests. Developing deeper relationships is difficult. Finding mutually supportive friends is difficult, and people do change. Treat some friendships like business where you do a give and take analysis and know what you're dealing with and what you can expect from their prior actions. Learn to be happy being alone, and work on developing your skills, personal interests and personal growth without needing to be involved with high maintenance types or those that drain your energy, goodwill or funds. Users, abusers and scammers are NOT your friends. No need to explain, just quietly exit. They will find fresh prey.

You don't see the traits. You see red flags but you don't realise what's happening, until a serious event comes, like you set a boundary or you say a "no", etc. Then you start seeing the true colors.

This happened to me in an intense way. I was completely surrounded by narcissist friends. They were just people I was nearby in high school, college, grad school. I didn't seek them out for their compassion. So when I got sick and asked for serious help for the first time, they all either disappeared or began using me as a punching bag to throw shame onto. It was hellish, but I'm glad that they are all gone. I am building a new network of people now, intentionally. I have a lot to offer as a friend, and I don't need to settle for narcissists again.

I just cut ties with an extremely narcissistic friend. I didn’t realize how narcissistic she was until we’d been friends for almost 3 years. I had just gone to every pregnancy appointment with this friend, threw her a baby shower & was someone she always leaned on for support. But, when I was dealing with a serious health issue, she was completely absent. The day of my first surgery, she didn’t even text to wish me well. When I told her that hurt my feelings she said “I was busy working. Sorry you’re so sensitive” & gaslit me. The final straw for me was as when she messaged me as I lay in the hospital & stated that me discussing my illness with her her gave her “bad energy” & she needed to stay away from it to “protect her unborn baby”. 🤯🤯🤯 It was the most selfish message I’ve ever read. I walked away & never looked back. When people show you who they are, believe them. I overlooked so many red flags. On a positive note, when you leave a narcissistic friendship you don’t grieve much. You may beat yourself up for not heeding the red flags, but mostly you’ll feel RELIEF. 🙏🏼💕

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

I learned swiftly after my son passed how many toxic family/friends I had surrounding me. Cut them off...years later now, no regrets. I give that time to friends that deserve it.

Just left my final narcissist friendship today and feel great about it.

There’s always that final straw moment and mine was today! So over the roller coaster of them being fun and cool face to face but once we message and things don’t go their way they become nasty. The lack of self reflection, the blaming (They are NEVER in the wrong), no accountability, the double standards, the disrespect then playing the victim when you call them out on their mistreatment. I’m so angry inside that I allowed this person to even be a part of my life! They never deserved me as a friend. The amount of hours I spent playing a therapist to this selfish nasty person. Also their disrespect to strangers. Just a nasty individual.

My narcissist friend told me if I ever spoke bad about him no one would believe me because he's always helping people and he does help a lot of ppl including me but he's very mean in evil

At this point I’m questioning my whole life

Had a narcissist friend who told me that not every one can deal with my breakdowns while I was having a mental breakdown. Didn't speak to me for days, never asked me how I was doing, if I'm ok.

Had a narcissist couple friend. After 10 years of friendship, I never thought they were like that. They broke my confidence and destroyed my name. For 3 years I suffer from discouragement and I lost my trust for people. Even until now, they really left a painful scar.

"Friends who view you as a convenience" Exactly this. 7:23 This is a true description of my "friend" who is also my roommate at the moment. About a happy hour, sometimes those people are not even happy when you have your happy hour, they are jealous and have bad intentions. And yes, I don't have the time to spend on those kinds of people

There goes Dr. Ramani again, Giving out wisdom and dropping mics. !!

OMG YES!! I was friends with her for years and had no idea. We have been living together for a year and a half now and I haven't recognized her for almost a year at this point. She kept acting like she had no idea where her attitude was coming from and that she was sorry and gonna change but then the stakes just got higher and higher. And I started wondering "when's the last time she's even treated me like a friend and not a maid/parent/caretaker?" We're not really on speaking terms right now and just waiting for the lease to end at this point.

I travelled with a church member and found it absolutely intolerable. She was very controlling and mean even to the point of hitting me as a "joke". I dropped her cold turkey.

I got really sick and had a few family members pass, I found out who my friends are 😢

I clicked for the roommate subject and felt that was lacking in this video. I'd like to see more on this specific topic.

"Where a lot narcissistic friendships become unearthed are when you travel with them".. Me, who recently realized my bff was a narc after a shared trip where things got claustrophobic and I literally got on a plane to leave her: 👀

I find that narcissistic friends tend to be users. They also are jealous and insecure come across charismatic will flirt with your boyfriend or spouse to no end. They delight in their attempts to make you feel insecure and jealous they play mind games they deflect project and blame you they take no responsibility of their actions. I’d rather be alone than have these malignant people in my life. Once you close the door on one don’t open it up again.

The finding out how narcissistic they are while traveling is so true. I've had 2 long-term friendships end after how horrendous and unapologetic they were on a trip (where I realized how much of a prop, not a person I was to them). I need to travel with friends and partners to get real about their character faster!

She is great at explaining what a real what happens in our daily lives love this channel and I met someone like this she was my roommate first and then I thought was my friend I noticed it was always about her and had to end it she constantly complaining about her life and never cared how anyone feels so I dropped her for myself we deserve better be careful with these types of people.

This has given me so much clarity. I'm the loyal type and tend to tolerate toxic friendships way too long. Thank you Dr. Ramani. I have a question. I had a "friend" who would get a huge smile on her face when I told her about something tragic in my life. Obviously, that's a red flag and I have gone no contact after several other red flags, but why would someone do that? I found it to be so creepy! 😱

plenty of self-absorbed, narcissists around, doing tons of damage to tons of people. I know. I have some in my life. Given me endless misery.

I love how she framed the unique qualities of the friendship.

Most of my friends were narcissists or narcissistic, I've just left a lot of them behind because of that. Shows me how narcissistic I myself have been too. Damn, friends really do mirror you.

I have had a friend for 36 years. We're both doing well and doing good things, but boy oh boy! She is so superficial now, right down to this snotty upperclass twit accent she's adopted to make herself seem more superior. It's a complete cringe fest. She's been looking down on me for quite a while. Resented me when my project was successful, has sly digs when we're in company and basically talks to me like I'm dumb. If I can't do something for her because I'm busy, she explodes and I'm the worst friend ever, throwing a ton of emotional abuse at me. She always views what I say with suspicion, as if I'm lying so as to avoid what's really happening. It's all so strange, because we had a really strong friendship for so many years and it's hard to explain how she is now. I feel like a doormat sometimes. She may have surrounded herself with far too many 'yes' people who know her via her position and can't understand why I would say 'no' or 'I'm busy'. I think our friendship has run its course after all these years. She's a good person, just not so much to me anymore. She doesn't seem to have friends, more like people who are beneficial to her in some way. If I can't drop everything at her every whim, I'm not a beneficial friend. It's very sad, but she's turned into a narcissist and I can't deal with it anymore.

I find it more difficult to have shallow relationships in a way, at times I'd be better off not speaking to that person/s at all and just be alone.. rather than be with this person/s and feel lonely.

had a narc friend for over 10 yrs- she ruined my life

Happy hour until they cross the lines into taking from you, your spouse or family. caveat emptor; choose the company you keep wisely, you will be judged by the company you keep.

This sounds like how Shannen Doherty and Holly Marie Combs stopped being friends when Doherty was battling cancer. Some of her friends didn’t want to be there for her when she needed them. Doherty said cancer helped her clean house.

I try to be supportive of my friend. She tries so hard to be better which is great. I am realistic as much supportive. I am mindful of doing that. But I’ve been in a bad spot. And she makes comments about people who have hard times like me and these comments are offensive. She says “idk understand people who won’t do this” or “I hate people who can’t get through this “ and I’m like “that’s me”. It’s happened so many times I can’t help but think she thinks the same of me

The superficial fun thing is exactly what I’ve been going through for years with certain friends. Everything is superficial until life gets personal and the person is around you allot more often then that is when you start to see who the person is and they can’t handle what’s going on in your life

The friend telling you he doesn’t want to be friends anymore is brutal honesty, has both ppl in mind, is actually sincere, that is a character trait/not flaw… is shallow/but nothing wrong

What if my friend keeps doing extremely nice things for me (as in goes through a lot to help me), but then other days she puts me down and wants to prove she's better than me? wtf is that lol

Once you know what you’re dealing with yes they can be fun, especially when they don’t know you know he he

Had to let go of one of my closest friends because he was a narcissist. I have a narcissistic mother and once I realized he was narcissist as well I couldn't keep him in my life. It was a hard decision but it was best for me. He became more and more toxic over the past year and it was hard for me to face but finally did when we traveled together on a trip. Much more peace of mind now even though it was hard to end.

Cut off some of old good friends due to this...and quite of few on the way being friends....cut contact not feeling guilt at all, and still being civil and friendly when meet in public...

Wow, everything you said was applicable to me. When I was in college, I was very shy and made friends with a group of girls who seemed "fun" and "cool." We became roommates and that's when our friendships got hard. I'm no longer friends with them. It took years for me to realize their friendship was not worth it.

A narcissistic friend comes in the form of a listening ear

Bless you for doing this. I had friends that I became roommates with that turned out to be highly narcissistic and for the last several months they were using threats of making me homeless or harmed physically if I didn't let them dominate me and use me as their butler. The landlord was father of one of the 2 narcissistic roommate/friends. When I stood up to them I was threatened with being killed. I barred my door that night and fled the next morning and am now living in a entirely different county. Harm towards my Mom was used to keep me in fear during the last month I was there and a big part of why I stood up for myself fiercely the last night there during a harsh bullying experience. Feeling like I am starting to heal.

This has made me realize 90% of the people in my life are narcissistic. I am a huge empath, and I would, and have, helped literal strangers. No one has been here for me. I am really trying to find a way to heal 😑

She is right. When a friend brings something to you, you are not as guarded. This happened to me recently.

Good advice for work too - don't give too much away until you know who is a narc.

I lost friends when they found out I don't drink, I hate the taste. Always have.

I knew the moment i saw this person have no empathy for a person they hurt really badly. This person was crying, bearing their soul and the narcissist was completely unaffected by it.

Yes right about now!! Exactly this is happening. It's a different type of grief. Here it goes: The death of a parent, I'm there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Break up of their marriage, I'm there. Blaming their kids to have traits like their ex, I'm there. Baby sitting their kids, I'm there. Now an affair gone bad with a married person who is still married??? I ran soooo fast they don't know I've left. Peace to those recovering from finding out the hard way!!!

She hit the nail on the head. Im now roommates with one of my good friends. I always thought he was a bit self centered, but living together is a new level lol. At first i was annoyed, but now its like i have low expectations and just pick what to share.

thank you so much dr ramini for all your support. you are keeping hope alive. Empaths keep the world going.

I dont know if my former friend/roommate was a narcissist but she was definitely a frenemy. Sees me sewing or baking "nicole, you're such a young old lady".... uhm okay? F that girl, was never so happy to get someone out of my house.

I came to know that I have a close friend who is narc as I had some adult milestones recently. On the flip side, this friend has had some rough circumstances, in which i tried to support them through. For years there had been a silent competition that I wasn't really aware of. Once I realized it, I stopped sharing good news or triggering it. There's always criticism of good or bad that I share. I've been on eggshells with this person and have been drained emotionally. Traveling with this person has been crazy. Once I realized the source, I have been (unknowingly at first) employing the gray rock method. The friendship is dramatically different than when we first met. I'm pretty much at peace. Good topic. Thanks!

wow. this literally hits all the points i have been wondering about recently, and so eloquently and easy to understand. i feel like the interviewer, constantly just going "ohhhh" and "ahhhh" at what she says

I just went no contact with someone after collecting red flags I thought were pink or something. Screaming at me on the phone was the last straw. An online friend I knew for 3 months telling me to stop taking my psych meds, encouraging me to drink, taking hours of time a day or getting upset, asking for money, yelling at me for literally no reason I really bit my tongue a lot. Today I couldn’t do it anymore. Why do I still feel like such an asshole? I always end up feeling like the asshole and blaming myself. I’m so tired of this. 😩

This is such important information. There are people in our lives, that for years can have caused such havoc, esp to those who have endured an abusive childhood, to keep us down and disempowered as well as other awful things. I am grateful for the clear and concise information that you bring forth here, and Dr. Ramani's explanations are incredibly helpful in spotting the narcissists in our lives. Personally, I'm in trouble right now, with one, thank you for the assistance.

I recently had the experience of being shut down by whom I consider a true friend when I started talking about my depressive state of mind, which I was then going through. She shut me down multiple times by saying something along the lines of “Oh, don’t bring my mood down with this talk.” And then started talking about the weather in her city. It was so absurd I felt like laughing to her face.

She's GOOOOOOOD! and He's a great interviewer! She made the info fun to listen to (and not a *total* drag like all the other experts on KZfaq) and he knew to ask appropriate questions and let her do most of the talking. Bravo!

3:17 Checkmate, yup absolutely, theres the 180!

I have had narcissistic roommates and friends. This was so validating. And affirming. Love Dr Ramani 😌💜🌈

i wish there was a longer discussion about realizing your friend is a narc once that friend becomes your roommate--i'm in that situation right now and could use a little more insight.

Thank you!! I do love all this series and the information she gives me!!! 🌹🌹🌹🌹

Thank you for your 'energy' Dr. Ramani!

Yes! I was in the depths of dispear, depression and was on my way out to be with my daughter. My gorgeous 39 year old daughter took her life. The narcissist friend rung me. I hardly had energy. She said I sounded down. (Really!) She said "What you need to do is to do more affirmations." FFS who says that. Our relationship changed of course that day. She knows something has changed, she doesn't get invited to my home. I have to keep her at arms length as we are (No surprises) in a Band and partners of band and friends.

She's a genius! I'm dealing with someone like this right now, unfortunately I can't get away from her, but at least now I'm aware. Thank you Doctor Ramani.

Happy New Year loves and thank you for continuing to be here for people who NEED this content! I love you all and my life is changed because of the information Ive gained from being exposed to the education. I spread the word every chance I get. XOXO Marnie

6:17 Dr Ramani : "U can always keep a few narcissistic friends upon the top shelve there. They're sort of fun to have at parties, they definitely keep the conversation lively and grandiose! U just got to remember to put them back when you're done!" My God! That's how a narcissist would think ! Keeping people for use!

Dr. Rahmani is my favorite to listen to. Love her. She really helps you put things into perspective

Yup had a friend for years that I would help out with working on there vehicle and visit often. After hangout for a few hours I headed home and had a flat tire 20 miles away called and asked if they had a jack and could help since my dad was already asleep and had to wake up early the next morning. (This happened at 11pm) They said it was too far and too late and to call my dad. Woke up my dad who was groggy but STILL came out and helped messing up his sleep. No longer talk to that narcissist

“I don’t do the listening thing” this hits home soooo hard!

I have lost a few narcissistic friends, one of whom was continuously texting and then asked my husband out to a movie with her. Um nope!! She lives just down the street and we have not spoken in nearly a year.

thank you MedCircle and Dr. Ramani, i really appreciate your content xx

She's improved a lot since she stopped studying and has passed degree. Also working full time for many years. Also hormonal problems.

😮😮😮😮 and I never knew I had a narcissistic friend for yearsssss. This video really shined light on the behavior. We used to be on the phone for hours just talking about her situations, I couldn’t get a word in. I’m thinking I’m being a friend/listening ear butttt I was being used. She never wanted my input just me to listen and not say nothing. Never wanted to discuss my situations. She even started asking me for favors for someone else😩😩😩

So true. Told my bestie of 5 years I was going through something hard and she straight up avoided me for about 8 days... It suddenly dawned on me that I was putting in all the effort in our friendship and every time I needed something she disappeared. To reemerged when she needed her pc fixed, an idea for art or money. Then like all narcissist, she refused to admit she wasn't acting properly and even say sorry, or that she would try to do better. She blamed me!!! Claiming I don't understand and that she was perfect and did everything she could to be a good friend. That I'm not telling her what I want. I said any effort!!! She continues to say "I forgot your birthday or would get you something." Guys, it's 4 days before hers and she used to know it. When I asked her what she ever did for me, there was silence. So I said, yep, so I will put in as much effort as you are, and say bye bye.

Dr. Ramani: “You can always keep a few narcissistic friends up on the top shelf there, they’re sort of fun to have at parties, you know they definitely keep the conversation lively and grandiose, you just need to remember to put them back in the cupboard when you’re done!” Both very funny and so to the point... To expect anything more than superficiality and entertainment from narcissists, and you are aiming to get your heart, and soul, crushed beyond recognition. I’ve been there, not a pleasant experience. We can easily get pulled in with their charm and wit, but their bite is not worth the cost of admission into their lives, again, other than casual acquaintance perhaps.

Dr. Ramani can you please do a video on how you reached this level of clarity of thoughts. Knowing what is right is one thing, but being able to put it out with a confidence that empowers the people around you, how did you achieve this strength of character. It’d really inspire and help a lot of us If you enlighten us with your take on coming back from damage stronger.

Maann uze are both literally changing so many lives around the world☺️🙌 please don’t ever stop these awesome nuggets of wisdom the world really needs to hear❤️ Love this interview and the way uze both flow so easily and effortlessly is so cool to witness😩😊 thanks Medcircle!☺️🙌

I hope its ok if i share five warning signs for everyone that is dealing with a narcissistic friend. 1) All (or a large majority) of their previous romantic relationships & friendships ended badly. The narc can never take responsibility for why these relationships ended. 2)They keep several of their past bfs on speed dial and only contact them when they are high and/or lonely. 3) The narc ghosts you for weeks, and then uses some drama in their life to excuse this absence. They literally go from love bombing you and sending you messages each day to not contacting you for several weeks. Almost always happens after you try to set boundaries or you have problems that you wish to discuss with the narc. 4) They NEVER use the word SORRY! 5) When you finally, after several months, share with them a horrible story of what happened to you on a night out with them (i was raped by a guy who she and her then bf introduced me too), her only response is "it makes me feel really uncomfortable that you bring up something that happened almost a year ago"