Story of my life. People literally shame you for calling your mom's bad behavior out

The biggest pain for me was when I realized my mother didn't care about me.

To all the narcissistic victims: You won’t be heartbroken or depressed when they gone. That’s a good thing.

I stopped expressing to people how horrible my covert narcissist mom is because people with ‘normal’ mothers always look at me like I’m some ungrateful little brat. They don’t understand that not all moms love their kids unconditionally. Ive actually heard, “She’s your mom, come on. You know she just wants what’s best for you.” Im paraphrasing but ive heard stuff like that a few times after trying to explain how my mom is not like that. Lucky them that they probably aren’t capable of understanding, lol. Once I had my own child, I came to realize my mom’s true nature. So many things I would, I could NEVER do to my daughter or say to her. It’s so hard to understand HOW she can treat me the way she does. I just can’t even imagine doing those things to my daughter. Thank you for this video. It helped ☺️

The only mother I know is myself and that’s the only person that mothered me

Love & hugs to all my fellow "orphans by narcissism" ❤

Realizing my mother wasn’t even capable of giving me unconditional love is so disheartening. This has been the harshest lesson I’ve ever had to learn.

As my mother gets older her drama is getting worse. I'm so heartbroken that she's gonna spend her last years playing childish head games with her adult kids because she lost her control over us and she's not getting her way like she always has. I didn't know how spiteful she could be. I feel bad that she's so frustrated and scared and I really tried to help her but she refused to accept or recognize my help and then belittled and dismissed it trying to guilt me and muniplate me. I'm tired of beating my head against the wall.

Mother's Day is bittersweet for me. My father sexually assaulted me and trafficked me to his friends. Rather than hold my father responsible, my mother hated me for it. He did the same thing to my older sister. What did my mother do? She manipulatively called my big sister a "homewrecker." Big Sis ran away when I was 4, and I don't blame her at all. My parents are dead now, thank God. The good news is, I am the mother of a great son who respects women and is a total sweetheart. I learned from my parents how not to raise a child, and being a mother has been a very healing experience. I'm really proud of my son.

Both parents are narcs 😒 It’s true it’s almost embarrassing when ppl ask me what my plans are for these holidays and I say absolutely nothing.

Not only does my Mother not care about me. She seems to gain pleasure from hurting me. I've had a lot of therapy. But I'm realizing that going no contact is the only way for me to truly heal.

As I’ve become a Mother, I could never imagine saying or being the way my mother was with me to my baby. NEVER. I love him so much. We got this guys!!! ❤❤

Saddest part is some children dont even realize their mom is a narcissist they continue to be manipulated gasslighed and still they think their mom is an angel but problem starts when the spouse enters. Spouse suffers the most coz the son / daughter dont find anything wrong in their mother.

If they don’t like you for you, then they aren’t for you-family or not

This is my 5th Mother's Day since going no contact. It just keeps getting better. I bought myself some chocolate creme pie to celebrate me tonight. I've been a better mother to me than she ever was.

On Mother’s Day I grieve for the mother I never had. When my narcissistic mother died I felt only relief. At her wake I said to my brother “come on, let’s find a positive memory of mum”. After ten minutes of silent head scratching we both drew a blank, that was telling. I now think of Dr Ramani as the mother as mother I deserved, but never had.

My mom is a covert narcissist and i went no contact 2 months ago. Never felt more free in my life. people still shame me into talking to her but i remain calm and non reactive.

Thank you for validating the survivors of narcissistic mothers!

My mother and my sister both are narcissists and emotional vultures! They are so cruel and selfish that they can stoop to any level to harm the other person. Finally after years of struggle, I have moved out. It’s been 3 months now and I am trying to heal..

I remember third grade, I told my mom about some girl bullying me and calling me ugly, and she told me that I couldn’t do much, because that girl was pretty looking and that I was in fact, a “little bit” ugly. At the moment I was young and took in her words like she is being honest but I think its monstrous nowadays.

Dr. Ramani, you are one of the most validating and healing people imaginable; thank you!

I am glad you call out the fact that we aren't all fortunate enough to have perfect upbringings and that we are still scarred in adulthood.

One thing you see sometimes with narc moms is trying to force their kids into a certain career or certain activities because they view their kids as extensions of themselves and a source of supply. I didn't want to deal with any gaslighting, manipulation, invalidation, or snide comments about my real goals, so I pretended like I was pursuing a certain career when I wasn't.

I have a narcissistic mother. I feel validated by coming across this video, so thank you. ❤

I just completely ignored mothers day. I never had a mother just a malignant narcissist.

It’s such a unique loss, coming to terms with an unreachable mother...a lifetime of ‘why?’ questions.

I had gone no contact with my mother for 5 months. Today I called because I thought she would appreciate me calling on mother's day. The conversation quickly turned into how bad of a son I am because I decided to take space, and how all of her friends couldn't believe my actions. At that moment I realized that what she really cares is how she is perceived by the outside world, nothing else. And although I tried to explain to her that the reason behind me taking space is heal the relationship, nothing was getting through.... The story was the same, look how you're making me look in front of my friends! How dare you do such a thing to the mother that sacrificed everything for you. I have now decided to block her and move on with my life. As difficult as it is, I have to admit that I have no control over her behavior or whether she chooses to get help or not. But I do have control over healing these wounds and standing up for myself. Time will only tell what will happen. I will always wish her the best and will always love her no matter what, but I will do so at a distance. But for today forward I will celebrate mother day as the day I decided to care for myself in the most loving way possible. The day I decided to re-mother myself. ❤️

The worst and hardest was me becoming a mum myself. After being used and ignored my whole life I struggled with how to be a loving caring mum that’s supportive and sensitive. My kids expressed their gratitude and told me I did so well. Still I have doubts - constantly.

My mother passed away 6 years ago and the thing that’s hard about this holiday is that we never had a bond it was just abuse. I see how happy other mothers are with their children and I grieve for what never was

Happy Mother's day to all my fellow adult children who have been the mother to their infantilized mother or parent and are waking up and finally creating boundaries and standing up for themselves 💜

I’m biracial and my mom is Indian and a narcissist. And she joked about my black appearance. She also told me my father cheated on her because we (her and I ) were always fighting. I was 5 years old. The list goes on. Wish I had known it would of just gotten worse.

I wrote my mom a loving text yesterday, she replied with passive-aggressive comments. She was disappointed she wasn't going to get to spend time with me. When I spoke my truth, and asked her to please just be straightforward if she's upset with me, she completely ignored the message. Hours later, she sent me a message saying "thank you for making me feel so special today!!

Thank you for the validation about this confusing and grief-filled holiday. I cringe too.

I woke up this morning angry, wanting to send a hurtful text to Her and I thought to myself “Dr. Ramany would understand” . The feelings come up without warning and I am so grateful to know that my sorrow and anger is normal. It helps just to hear Dr. R’s kind voice telling me it’s ok.

My mother talk about herself all the time, even when I wanna talk about me. It always go back to her. And whenever I say "No" or we disagree about for example politics she goes into a sick gaslight mode and I never realized more how much I've been gaslit by my mom, pretty much gaslighted into submission. This have ended up with me simply just blocking her everywhere incl. my dad as he always take her side and blocking their numbers. At 33 I just can't do this anymore, and the social stigma of loving and seeing your mom all the time is so crushing. I have nightmares of my childhood and the traumas that happened then whenever I meet them, and I'm done. Thank you for this video.

I had to be my mother's mother, and then failed my sister as a mother because I was a child without their own parent. I feel so much shame for how I couldn't help my mom or my sister, I walk around seeing their behaviour and feeling I failed to teach them right. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's one of the first lessons I learned about my role in the world. I can't stop crying when I hear someone acknowledge what it cost me like this.

I didn't even realise my mother was narcissistic until very recently. thank you dr. Ramani for educating us on all of this. this year, I celebrate myself, for mothering myself because my mom couldnt be bothered to do it for me.

No one who's discovered and recovered would shame someone else's choice NOT to engage their toxic mother.

I went no contact with not only my narc mom but my whole dysfunctional,enabling family.Having narcissistic,ignoring,abandoning parents who scapegoat you is one of the biggest mind fucks you'll ever deal with!! They really are monsters!!

I blocked my mum and my brother at Christmas and I did explain that I had some things I needed to work through and needed space for myself. My mum continued to call although it went to deleted voicemails and At the weekend I listened to the latest one. OMG, the message was “I am dying to see you and so is your brother and then the rest of the 30 secs was all about her lovely day out with my brother & the grandchildren at the beach”. There was absolutely nothing about “how are you?” Or “How is your wife, is she coping” or “do you or her need any help”? THIS IS MY MUM?!?! It’s so overwhelming to accept, despite all the evidence and your videos that completely explain why she cannot and will never have any empathy or concern for how I am. It is exhausting that this is your own family doing this to you, who to others get the “perfect family” image portrayed. I’m totally broken and therapy is tough the more I learn about Narcissistic Abuse 😢

I still live with her... But this year I didn't say: "Happy Mother's Day". I felt both guilty and authentic. 💔

I was adopted by a narcissistic mother, however today I am honoring my birth mother in spirit 💫❤💐

You are so right! I loved and was close to my father and she hated it, but it was because we had the same personality, and God bless him for staying with her. She is still like that and she is 96. I have cared for her so well, and the people around her noticed how often I was there for her, did everything for her, and was always kind. Most times, I would end up leaving her place in tears and stopped seeing her, and then she would ask why don't you come around and when I would say, what is the use, it always ends in tears for me, and she would just say, oh you are over sensitive, etc. It's again my fault. My life literally has been ruined because of her. I am 66 now, and my health has been pushed to the limit and I get sick often. I cannot work out why and my sister are just the same, and she only ever cared about my older sister, she didn't care about my brother either, but she used us both.

This made me cry like a little kid when you started talking about channeling our inner child and realize how awful the things we say to ourselves can be. I'm in my early 20's and recently realized that my mom is a narcissist and I have to see her tomorrow. But I will take this with me. Thank you so so much Ramani.

I called my mother this morning, despite us not being on “good terms” (she’s upset I tell her the truth) and she ignored my call lol. I was having so much anxiety/sadness & I looked up your channel to remind me that it’s “normal” to feel like this today. Thank you Dr. Ramani 🤍 happy Mother’s day! 🌹🌹

It's not mother's day in Ireland, but I'm sending out love to all the people who need it today to get through all the nonsense they have to listen today. Love your inner child who was never loved. ❤️

I feel incredibly blessed to have found your channel today! I'm 48 years young and have the mother who is text book definition of narcissists. She has five children, twenty+ grandchildren and she plays all of us against each other...she always has. She talks so ugly about each of us behind our backs. I finally called her out on this last summer when she accidentally texted me about me to my siblings. I quit speaking with her so many times but she always has some sort "emergency" where she needs me then she is back in my life once again. The past several weeks I've been making an effort to spend more quality time with her, helping her upkeep her and my dad's farm land. In fact Friday I spent six hours just mowing for her so she could enjoy her land around the house on Mother's Day. We hugged each other bye, and planned on seeing each other on Mother's day. None of her other children had planned on going to see her on MD, so I told her my husband and I would like to take her and my dad out for dinner. She was happy and said she looked forward to it. Saturday evening before bed I posted one of those posts you mentioned in your video...."My mom deserves a medal for putting up w3ith me all these years"....and "You were my first best friend and always will be"....."You are a strong and loving mother, who has shown grace and love for God". I love you always, Happy Mother's day". I tagged her in this post and added a beautiful photo of her! Several of her friends replied and she replied to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! She had NOTHING to say to me though. SO here I am, reading all her conversations with four or five different people, talking about all kinds of things. But she never said, Thank you, Velvet( that's my name) or I love you too and we'll see ya later for dinner. Not one damn word! She didn't even LIKE it. So i sent her a message privately and asked her how she was. And that I saw where she was replying to all her friends and wondered if I did something to upset her and that';s why she wasn't repyling to me. She ne3ver replied back to me. Then she posted a whoah is me on mothers day post saying she may not have been the best mother but she did what she could and blah blah blah. Then I find out why she did this. Her GOLDEN CHILD, my eldest brother, came over with his narcissist wife who hates me. My brothers daughter posted a photo of my mom and tagged her, said happy mothers day....my mom replied and liked hers. She actually purposely hurt me so I would stay away, so her golden child could come over. And to put the icing on the cake so to speak, she did this on the FIRST year I have been feeling my old self after the murder of my daughter. I just had a conversation with my mom last week and told her I'm finally off all my medicines, I'm laughing again, I'm feeling great and looking forward to moving on with my life. Like I am actually shocked that she did this to me today. I feel SOOO unloved. Ok, I'm trying to dry up my tears...I'm so tired of feeling this way...like a pawn of hers. I'm ALWAYS the scapegoat child. I know this was long and no one will probably read it through but I feel better just typing this out. Please disregard grammatical errors*

My high school gave a 50th birthday party for our class, because it coincided with an anniversary of the school. Their Facebook page asked each of us to say something to our 18 year old selves that would have been nice to hear. Many were silly, like “smoke more pot”, or “skip school more often”…but after thinking about how bad I felt after years of a narcissistic mom telling me I was too fat, too sensitive, too everything…I knew what I needed to hear. I wrote “you are enough”, crying as I wrote it. The tone completely changed on the page, and my classmates started writing equally poignant things. I make a point of telling my son, and the people in my life, how important they are to the world just the way they are at this moment. Words hurt, especially when you are a child, buts words can also heal.

Fortunately for me my mother died in 2014-one of the best days of my life

Had to finish weeping and hug my dog. I want to bless the woman who gave birth to me and then terrorized and traumatized and humiliated me. She did not want children and was really only a child herself when she gave birth. I acknowledge her trauma and while I put no blame on her I heal myself by severing connection in this lifetime knowing we are all connected in the oneness of our Creator. Today I celebrate that I survived my mother. Bless us all.

First thank you for describing my mother so well. My brother's and I have actually begun calling her gifts " tribute" If she's not pleased with her tribute our dad has to call us to express her displeasure and dissatisfaction with us. You nailed it

I was adopted by a narcissistic woman, my biological mother put me up for adoption because she was mentally ill with schizophrenia and knew she couldn't care for me properly. Little did she know I would be placed in the hands of an abuser. I've been free of my abusers for 3 years now which I accredit myself for but I feel so scared and lost all the time

Ps btw Happy Mothers Day to all the non Narcissistic Mothers out there .

I strongly dislike mothers day due to my sociopathic narcissistic mother. But I transcend this day as it just being a day and nothing more.

Pulling up an old photo of myself and trying to repeat the things I was told as a child was truly gut-wrenching and absolutely horrible. What an excellent practice. It literally blew my mind to even try to imagine saying some of those things to a literal child. Thank you.

Thank you for validating the horror of this "holiday." At 59 years old, Mothers Day still gives me chills.

This specific subject is so undiscussed. Sometimes people can feel crazy when in reality its not them it’s their mother and further more it is NOT normal.

What hurts the most is knowing my covert narcissist mom is lying about why I am absent and saying mean things about me. She always has, I just wasn't wise to it until now. She is very effective with smear campaigns. I saw them waged on others throughout the years. It's sad, but knowing it's not unique to me is a mild comfort.

I was raised/bullied by narcissistic abuse from my Mom and bullied just as much throughout childhood and at this point it's caused me to have regression and im 31 years old still living with the abuser because i dont know how to think for myself because i was never allowed to and punished and relentlessly ridiculed if I did show the smalles ounce of independence. Now I'm an old cow too old to start my life and im stuck and dont know how to get out because I have no way out. And this is EXACTLY how mu abuser wants it 😢

I’m deeply horrified by the things I heard so routinely as a child from both parents. I couldn’t hear it until I was away long enough and had my own children, or simply started telling people..the horrified looks on their face is a good reminder of how toxic it is.

Thanks Dr Ramani for focusing this topic. Society has conditioned to think of mothers are loving, caring and selfless. Having experience a narcissistic mother myself, I can't emphasize how this can create a cognitive dissonance. I'm still healing and recovering from the brainwashing.

I have been crying the past couple days as I’ve realized my mother who has always used and abused me, will never be capable of loving me. I just saw her for a visit on Thanksgiving and it was very painful. I’m just learning about narcissism and listening to your vids has been making my confusing childhood make some sense. It’s just a daily struggle after going through a traumatic childhood like mine. I was locked in a room and sexually assaulted by her boyfriend everyday as a toddler and she said that she suspected things were happening to me while she was working and he was home with me, but even after finding a pair of his boxers on my bedroom floor, she chose her boyfriend over me and was okay with me being abused even in front of her. As a child I would be in trouble all the time even though I always tried my best to be the best daughter, but was always made to feel like a failure. It made me feel unlovable. She would get a lot angrier if I would cry, and never gave me the affection I so desperately craved. To this day I still wish I had a mom who loved me or even a dad that did as well, but I am learning to cope through it. To anyone reading this who has also had a narc mom, you are worthy of love and not alone💜

When getting older, I found that calling my mom by her name really made for a more bearable relationship.

I have hated this day for years. I haven't seen or talked to my mother in over 8 years because I HAD to cut her out of my life. Thank you for your channel Dr. Ramani! I listen to your content to help me stay centered, especially on frustrating holidays like today.

Thank you for seeing us who have lived without a healthy maternal bond. I always feel sad and jealous on this day. ❤️

I always felt weird on mothers day my whole life, even when I didn't know about narcissism, had discomfort in the air Since I released myself not only from the narcissistic mother but also from society pressure I feel better than ever, I'm in no contact with her for months Yesterday I only remembered all those years of discomfort and the only thing I felt was relieve

I used to get sick often, general cough and cold (later found out I was allergic ). My mother used to say frequently "how you will have a career when you will be sick for 24/7" I believed her to the core from my childhood days that when I got my first job at the age of 20, I thought I will not be able to keep up with the job due to my health issue"....which ultimately turned wrong. I survived in the same company for 7 years, got 2 promotions and had a grand farewell party after I decided to quit to be with my husband..... She didn't allow me in the kitchen or let me help her in household chores ever but kept saying "people like you will never survive a marriage you can only suffer".... I believed her so much that I develop a disinterest in boys, forget a relationship because I was petrified of the word 'marriage' Now its been 10 years I am in a blissful marriage and yes, its been 10 months of freedom from a narcissistic mother daughter relation....

My Nmom is still alive and I went no contact many years ago. When people ask me about my mom I tell them she's dead. She was never a mom, just an egg donor.

Oh wow, I’m in England so it’s not our Mother’s Day here.... but my god am I feeling it today. Let go of my narcissistic mother almost a year ago now.. Thank you for your video’s they have been crucial for my healing journey 🙏💜

I don't know what unconditional love is, because my mother's love always came with terms and conditions. I am tired of being judged. If my mother could not accept my impeefections, who would.

To any of you like me raised by narcissistic parents, I think it can help to validate your own experiences to remember NPD is a spectrum; not all of the symptoms have to presents or as severe as each other. Being the golden child/scapegoat can and does change between siblings and in intensity. Your loved experience is valid even if it differs from others! Sending you love and strength

Spending yet another holiday without mommy dearest, been no contact for a long time now. I’m smiling at how peaceful life is.

Anyone else did the over the top mother's day rituals to help satiate the narcissistic supply? The posts on social media, planting flowers in her yard, special meals, huge gifts, the whole shebang.. So glad to be no contact now.

3 years in Therapy, almost 2 years no contact this is the first time on a mother's day, (I am from UK living in US so 2 mother's days uug!), that I didn't feel awful, conflicted, confused and angry. I saw a few posts from friends and actually felt happy for them that they had a good mother. I can not recommend no contact enough...yes initially you will go through a bunch of guilt and shame about it but stick with it and once you get through that bs it feels amazing it may be the happiest I have been as an adult...infarct thinking about it now it is the happiest I have ever been as an adult or a child. Without her I have peace and space to be me :) happy mother's day to all the lovely lucky people who had a good mother I am happy for you and all the children/adults who got a loving mothering experience. And happy you day to all those children/adults who didn't have a good mother like Dr. Ramani said take this day for you ignore social media do something good for you today

Indeed. The woman I never hug or call mother to her face. The woman who told me she wished she'd had an abortion when I was a child, beat me, spat on me, sexually abused me (insisted I be in her bed), emotionally tortured me, called the father that provided me a sanctuary and cared for me once the divorce was finalised around 5/6 years of age vile names (wished him dead and told me she's glad he's dead when he died), and thinks that she can buy off all the damage she inflicted with gifts. Crunch came this week when I informed her (via text, obviously) that she can't expect demands on my time, call multiple times a day etc. because I actually have friends/a social life. Never mind the fact that she coached her younger sister (bearing in mind the woman would have been around 18 or 19 when she was doing this to her 10/11 year old sister and probably before, but this is all my aunt admitted to which, amongst other reasons, led to a nearing 30 year estrangement, besides the fact that this trash that birthed me cut off her own mother as well - usual pattern with malignant narcs) to perform oral sex on her. The response - "Changing my will immediately"/"Friends, stop fooling yourself". Death or simply being alone and living out the rest of her tortured miserable years with her disgusting/vindictive/sour self, would be karma enough. Actually, a prison sentence, a long spell on a psychiatric unit and a sterilisation would have been more apt. Sadly, there are too many scumbags who call themselves parents, and too many authentic graceful people who opted out because of the damage inflicted in them by this human waste (leading them to believe the world is unfair and wanting to end toxic genetic lines). The world is upside down and long due a shift.

every time I am able to speak my truth in even some small way, to break out of voiceless-ness/ passivity, to stand up for better treatment of myself, I heal a little more. and the more I can name the abuse (first of all for myself), the more I free myself from the weight of self-pathologizing. the more I identify the unhealthiness, the healthier I become!

Happy Mother’s Day to all who are great moms or try.

I take my mum out or buy her something nice every mothers day, even though I feel uncomfortable doing so. This mothers day I said to her "I'm not that keen on mothers day as I never get taken out". Her answer "Well it's not about you is it". I'm a mother by the way.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Mother's Day has always been a bad day for me, especially after I went no-contact with my mother. My entire family shamed me and ostracized me. No one believed me. There was no one to talk to. If I tried to tell people, they were shocked. "But she's your mom!" I'm so grateful for the narcissism survivor community. They are the only ones who understand.

When I realized Mother’s Day was intended to be a funeral day & the woman who created it hated what it became, I realize what a pointless day it is.

It's very hard to tell people about my narc parents / mother when they have mother's / father's day. I know cause I tried telling several of them. Sure enough, there responses were "at least you have a mother / father" "you're so ungrateful" "you're gonna regret not connecting with them" or something along those lines.

People often give me advice "well,she is your mother u cannot cut her off from your life "

Thank you for acknowledging and sharing it openly, and clearly. That's what I feel every mother's day. I severed ties 8 years ago, and despite therapy, it still affects me.

Complicated and so painful. 😭 I Cut all ties with family

It's buying a card that brings out the big empty hole inside where her love and respect should be. Trying to find one with words that are not lies, yet is kind enough to keep up appearances. Plastering the smile on your face as you visit, and praying your lips will stay sealed as your brain screams unspoken responses to her jabs. I've mostly disabled mine these days because she thinks she has my husband fooled so she's nice in front of him, and I keep him almost nailed to my side so that she is forced to behave. The last laugh is on me lately, and that's a wonderful thing.

For years now I stopped awknowledging the day. I don't say happy mother's day, I don't buy a gift or a card and she stopped trying to make me feel guilty for it as well. I am the scapegoat after all. My brother, on the other hand always brings her flowers. He's the golden child. Lately she's been saying in front of us both that I'm always against her and everything he does is because he loves her and dad. I feel so alone.

This day hurts so much. I have an abusive alcoholic borderline narc mom who is incredibly selfish, always put other men before her daughters and did whatever she wanted regardless of how it impacted us. So when I see other people with these beautiful mother daughter relationships, I feel jealous, I feel grief and sadness for something I never had. Mothers day commercials are a painful reminder.

Happy Mother's Day! It's nice to be on this side of her death, and be 8yrs healed from it. No matter the "exciting" obstacles, no matter the scraps of goodness, no matter the amazing food, no matter the time with nieces/nephews...I always hated today. 4yrs no contact with siblings now, so a very peaceful day

Yep, this year is very painful. My mom has many borderline and narcissistic qualities. This year she sabotaged it, refused to agree with all the simple wonderful plans we had made, stirred conflict and refused to cooperate and then of course when I finally lost my temper acted like I was a monster. I have however started calling her out on her abusive behavior and had to remind her why I have had to block her in the first place. The guilt is unbelievable.

Never felt loved No patience, boundary, understanding, apology given Always being blamed Used to in constant shame, fear, anxiety, and confusion. Cut them off at 38, never felt this free and good.

Sending a warm virtual to all dealing with such issues...We got this! Love yourself more n Take care!✨🖤

I'm an adult of ethnic minority in a very troubled state and to this day I miserably, unproductively, angrily, fearfully, unsuccessfully live alone and have no life skills nor even employment. Please pray for me.

"You'll regret how badly you treated me when I'm gone!" No, never. EDIT: Someone revived this comment I made over a year ago, and it's kind of aged like milk, actually... I found out almost a year and a half after it happened, but my N-maternal unit died in the first Covid wave. I really struggled with it because I never got closure, to tell her how fscked in the head she was, and left me. I ended up writing my own obituary for her and getting it published in the local newspaper that told the reality behind her sanitized obituary that omitted me. Now my only regret is that she succumbed quickly to the disease.

My narc mother becomes my “friend” right before any gift giving holiday like Christmas, her birthday or mother’s day. It’s predictable, comical and also hurtful because it’s such a stark contrast to how she treats me the rest of the year.

Omg, I am so excited I found you Dr. Ramani. I never knew there were so many people in the world who have had to live with the pain of wanting so badly for their mother to just love them. You hit every every feeling I have felt. 😢

I wrote my mother today with these words, "why wasn't I good enough for you?" (I'm sure she'll see it as "why wasn't I good enough" and point out all my bad qualities...) She pretty much ignored me for the past three years, as I went thru cancer treatment...

When your Narcissistic Partner can look you in the eye and say ‘ At least I don’t treat you as bad as your Mother’ ...and it actually be true. Then you really don’t understand what all the fuss is over Mother’s Day ....

This video…the tone is exceptionally compassionate and poignant. Thank you, Dr. Ramani.

Thank you so very much for your validation of how a narcissistic mother can affect so much in one’s life!! Somehow mothers are lifted to sainthood and many feel they can say or do anything they want regardless of how bad it is!!

Happy mother's day Doctor Ramani and to all amazing moms here in the comment section. 💐❤