I need to focus two on parents that are helping their children to make good decisions with regards to relationships. What’s a healthy relationship? What’s not a healthy relationship because kids could come from Narcissistic families, and one parent not being narcissist was a victim may be raised by narcissist, is trying to figure it all out, and help their children from going down the same path.

I wouldn’t say that churches are exactly the healthiest places, especially when we’re talking about narcissism I think you’re leading people down the wrong path. Sometimes it’s better to practice religion on your own mini religions are cold like and they take a vantage of people and many people than sexually abused, or taken advantage of in churches. Just an FYI.

You need to find narcissism very specifically for people because it’s hard to tell sometimes who’s in our system in Hwy Isn’t, and you might teach people to run into the wrong direction and especially to churches you have to be very careful

@@Portia620 I think you've completely missed the point. I find it very refreshing that Jerry, a pastor understands 1st hand how damaging having narcissistic parents is. It sure beats those who ACT like they've arrived & have zero empathy on those of us who are still struggling. Jesus is indeed the answer, but we often need a wise person (pun intended) to lead us to Him

@@Portia620excellent “fyi”and I can vouch for all u said!!

I used to lie against the wall to feel like I wasn't alone in the world. Even , when I was dying in 1971 from brain inflammation my mother wouldn't talk to me or comfort me in death ....but after 3 months I survived alone. At 64 I still get nervous as the sun goes down and my wife goes to sleep. I play a radio by my bed and sleep in thick Gund like blankets to comfort me. I will overcome this in some way as I overcame so many obsticles in life. I guess we share that and I thank you for speaking this truth.

Me neither.

me too at 62 xxx

I'm also over 60. I was a thing to my borderline mother, not an individual with needs. Age appropriate growth and autonomy is squashed and I was very isolated. The isolation is horrible but it's what the abuser does.

@@knit1purl1 yes, I agree.

Well, they did teach you stuff... but not the right stuff.

my gran said "some parents don't teach their kids how to tie their shoelaces so that the kid will have to keep asking them to do it"

They’re too self absorbed to care….sometimes I wonder why they even have kids other than to have people to emotionally abuse….they fell “good” doing this….and don’t know that loving relationships would feel ten times better. Just completely incapable and uncaring.

Same

same

I also missed out on music lessons as a kid, trying to catch up now

Never too late to do the things you want to do

My mom was the opposite she put me in piano lessons because she wanted to do it growing up and my instructor told her that I was not interested and she was wasting money my mom got so mad 🤷🏾‍♀️ I didn’t care at all you should ask your children what they want to do instead of forcing them to do something they don’t want to.

​@hazel_basil7415 that's not really true. One might be able to "do" things; achieving some level of competency is a different thing.

My mom was the same! I wasn’t allowed to do anything. And was constantly compared to my older sister.

Yup, my sister and her now-ex-husband for instance

So true, after many abusive relationships I decided to stay alone. I cannot trust myself or other people. I just have my dogs to keep me sane.

And/or become narcissists themselves

I had my first relationship a few years ago and it lasted 2 years (I’m 30 now). She was a textbook narcissistic and it destroyed my life all over again. Silver lining was just awareness, I understand now that I’m at risk to fall in with the same sort of people my mother was because it “feels right”. Never again. I’m still healing and am going to trauma therapy now.

I had a "friend" who know when I look back at my relationship with him, I finally realized that he was the same way as my mom and that was why I liked him. I finally got rid of his friendship and never looked back.

I’ve always felt I can go anywhere and be completely unnoticed. It’s kind of an odd trait

Sucks hard 😢 x

Yes! It's a real curse, this ability to make yourself invisible...maybe we should all become secret agents, turn a curse into a talent?​@@TheREALLibertyOrDeath

You speak right from my heart! 😢

Something happened to you recently. The source of divine oneness has touched your soul. You are awakening. You are quickening. You have an understanding, a knowing of your true power. You now stand as a sacred source of your true power. You are the power. This power is changing you. This power is changing your reality. Look around you, you are at the center of a sacred circle of creation. You are now aware of the illusion of the world. You feel more deeply now. You feel the suffering the world has caused. You realize that your actions are significant. You create your reality. You are the power.

i understand you completely, me the same. My whole life was lonely. My cat is everything to me.I I wish you all the best!. 🙏💐❤️

Sometimes the loneliness is absolutely crushing

@@ericscott5224 i wish you also the best! 🙏🪷🌺

I wish you all the best. This warm feeling in your chest. ❤

Damn, I was not emotionally prepared to read that... You're spot on.

Same. Never felt I had a life. Stayed by myself most of my life. No husband or children. No family as I was the scape goat and had to go no contact with siblings.

Same. But be kind to yourself, it’s only at an older age (your legacy years), do you have time, to look back and ask, “what was that all about?”, to finally get an answer. It takes time, for life to be the teacher.

Same. No family...just invisible.

I can relate with everyone's remark in the comment link here ..Thank You for sharing.everyone!❤

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Ditto and right back at you.

I can't find a therapist because they're all such narcissists too.

Me too just finding out :(

Same, keep on keeping on. Narcissistic parents SUCK!

Please try again. I just starting therapy and she is very clever and supportive!@@aeonsbeyond

Precisely me.

I stopped trying to make friends years ago .

Yes...and my mother hated kids wanted to be my friends, she made up so much lies...blocked friendships...I was popular, she hated me so much,I was better then her and she destroyed me, after awhile..like you said, just attracted people like them....it is a living hell...hope you heal..

Very true, some abusers were a bit more obvious some it took me years to understand. Only in very late 20s things became a bit more clearer.

I can see that…

Yes you were born with it.

or as imagination cos they cant admit their mistakes nor apologise. They'll rather hurt inside that they lose us than to be sorry n converse with us to save the relationship.

"If you know so much better than your parents, then go build a family and raise a kid yourself. Then see if you can really do any better" is something my mom often use, without any consideration that all the traumas they've caused actually give me so much anxiety to build relationship with people, let alone having kids.

@@coolfer2 I assume you’re from Indian household too, nonetheless 💯 relate

My narcissistic mother : "You must have gotten that (whatever the 'that' was in a particular situation) from your father's side of the family."

Same with me, my parents were both 'anti-social' & as I got older, the friends my parents had, stopped communicating & associating with my parents & it was an embarrassment to see my parents becoming 'loners' fighting all the time!!

Same here. If friends did come over she'd hover over us and make it uncomfortable.

I could have friends over, but I always felt more comfortable at someone else’s house.

The quality of people has not changed and I have found I will have to seek out the caliber of person I want to be with. They won’t fall into our laps. I try to think of where a quality person I would like would be and go there. You are describing mediocrity I think, which I refuse to wallow in. You are right that who we spend our time with says a lot about who we are. It does take concerted effort to find people you really want to be with.

And yes, was not allowed to have close relationships with people. My grandmother (the narc) would actually be jealous of my aunt (her daughter) when they came to visit because she knew we were sharing notes about how awful she was. She also didn't like it if I became close to other female adults- she would immediately cut those people off from me. I finally had one woman ask her to take me out for a girls day because she knew my grandmother wasn't going to ever do that for me...and the first thing she said to me when we got in in the car, away from my grandmother was something like.... "I know your grandmother is not good to you".... I was shocked and relieved that someone saw right through her. Of course, my grandmother made up an excuse to not be friends with her after that...

Yes! I had my beloved pony sold off while I was at school. Told all those awful things but my mother would now deny ever having said or done anything but “absolutely adore” me! Classic gaslighting!

I received the same treatment from my parents. I feel your pain. The good news is, we are free to go. We do not have to suffer anymore. We can change our lives without looking back.

@@beegeesquirrel9010 We're free to go, but wherever we go, there we are. It may not be there all the time, but we wouldn't be on this channel if we could just walk away from it all.

@@websurfer5772 because there is healing to do

No one is perfect, just depends on If they are willing to change there bad habits and behaviour.

@@CaseyDavies-od7ir I think if you are seeing someone and the person reveals something bad about themselves, you can't really expect them to change, and even if they say they'll change, they hardly ever really do. People don't make true changes to themselves for other people. They only change, if it is a change that they actually want to make like they realize the specific behavior isn't working for them. So if someone reveals something bad, and it isn't something their partner can accept, it's better if they just end the relationship at that point. That's my opinion on that anyway.

@@NikkiC777Well said

Just like politics.

100%

I can completely relate... narcissists really destroy you from the inside. I'm so sorry to hear about your past but I'm very happy that you're on the road to recovery, just like I am...stay strong, you got this

I survived bullying at school, parents arguments and divorce, then father remarried with another narcissist and they both gang up on me as i stayed with my father, now i am in my 30's and looking for an apartament to live on my own as it is not a life with them. I do not know what love is and probably will never know as i am to affraid of another narcissist in my life.

So happy you got away

@@SB-xw9rm In my case, I put it up with it because they were also good to me too, a lot of the time. That makes it more emotionally confusing for me.

@@websurfer5772 Known as "intermittent reinforcement".......this is what abusers do that can cause Stockholm Syndrome in their victims.

I did the same, even taped them to a broom to talk to them at my height. So sad for us.

Wow, all of the above. I’m so proud of myself for first surviving and now thriving (a little bit;)

Wow! This resonates.

❤ I experienced the same… stay strong! You will overcome it some day. ✊✊

I was amazed that my birth chart tells me I'm supposed to stay on my own and re-mother myself. That's what some people are supposed to do though. I've been reading about that for years ever since I first saw it.

@@websurfer5772 wow! 😳 Is this eally written in a birth chart? Where? Could you kindly share what is the aspect or planet/ house placemet? 🙏 I am big fan of astrology, so that would hugely contribe to my learning process! Thank you and all the best in your journey 💖

@@happygoluckystar8069 Sure, I have notes on this. I tried to keep it short but that's super difficult for me. The following aspects are where re-mothering myself comes up: North Node 1st house Cancer South Node 7th house Capricorn Scorpio Moon on cusp with Libra Black Moon Lilith 6th house Pluto conjunct Uranus and Zeus 4th house Virgo in opposition to: Chiron 2* from Sun in Pisces Moon trine Mars in Pisces Libra/Scorpio Moon opposite Venus conjunct Jupiter and Admetos in Aries Vulcanus at 0* Cancer 1st house I'm only 5% through the notes I have on my chart so I'm going to stop there with the aspects because re-mothering myself is a major theme for me this lifetime and that list is already getting overwhelming. If you want to know what else I might find in my chart in regards to this topic, just ask and I'll see what there is in addition to this because I'm making notes about my answer to you concerning this matter too. Revisiting this from time to time is good for me. Here are some of the things my chart says in relation to these aspects regarding re-mothering myself: North Node (NN) Cancer: Amplifies caring for myself and nurturing myself. Cancer is ruled by the Moon and this is a feminine Moon, so I have to honor and foster my feminine side and learn what that means as I navigate my way through this lifetime. Cancer: "The more Cancer in a chart the more abandonment issues a person has because Cancer is the most abandoned, orphaned, adopted, and basically left on their own to raise themselves sign out of all the signs in the zodiac. Some astrologers say that Cancer is the sign of family, but it isn't really, it's the sign of people who are looking for family because their family has disappeared in some way." - Sloan Bella Cancer North Node craves healing and heartfelt connections. This cuddly soul feels called to nurture herself. In this lifetime, she is being called to dive into the emotional world and honor her feelings. The Universe pushes her to pull off the band-aid and reveal any emotional wounds that have not healed. These wounds may also be from ancestral traumas. Through divine self-care Cancer North Node heals herself which will also help humanity evolve and heal. NN 1st house - I'm not supposed to worry about whether others approve of my life or not. I'm supposed to go with what my heart and soul tell me, and my gut instincts. The 1st house is the house that forces us to ask ourselves, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’?” (Individuation) If you “do” Cancer badly, then you make yourself vulnerable in inhospitable environments, and you get hurt. Also, you make yourself invisible and vulnerable by nurturing others, but keeping your own wants and needs safely hidden from view. If you do Cancer well, then you make yourself vulnerable in appropriate environments. You open yourself up to trusting others. You let others experience your imagination and feelings, and you allow yourself to be loved. _(But this is totally unsafe to do with narcissists, obviously)_ I need to be fine with people being resistant to me, or rejecting me. South Node (SN): Capricorn to Cancer is the Mommy-Daddy axis. Saturn is a dot-your-(i)s and cross-your-(t)s, and eat-your-broccoli kind of energy. Saturn rules Capricorn and my mother was a Capricorn and she wore the pants. SN Capricorn: I need to let the mommy energy in to get out of this Duty, Order, and Structure and into my Heart where I can help myself. The Moon opposite Venus transit is very good for taking long baths and just lying on the couch watching videos. Transit of Moon Opposition Venus: This transit is good for staying home and for self-pampering because spending time with others can become irritating during this period meant for arguments. Lilith in 6th House can flow by honoring nature’s cycles and the body’s signals. I could go on, but I'll stop there, because astrology is like diving into infinity on any topic. I hope you find some of this helpful for you, and please let me know if any of these aspects or similar ones are in your chart. Your username is awesome, btw. 🙂🍀🌟

@kogo8107 True. We learn to hide as a survival strategy. I think that's kind of encoded pretty early. If you get burnt as a kid when you reach out to people, you don't stick your hand in the fire as an adult. It's sad, cause life is all about risk and even as we shy away, we probably know we're missing out on the good stuff while not necessarily being safe from the bad. Hard to break the habits of early learning, though.

OMG!!! YES

Yes. Hiding as a survival strategy. For years, I had to keep track in my mind who I told which story to. Person 1 knows story A. Person 2 knows story B. Person 3 knows stories A, B, and C. It was exhausting. It was after therapy that I started working on being honest with everyone. I no longer have to keep track of my stories. The only person I can’t be honest with is my mom. I still lie by omission. Yes, I’m 50 and I still have to lie to my mom, so she’ll leave me alone.🤦🏾‍♀️

Yeah..my dog is lovely..best wishes to you

Yes! I agree with everything you said. I really want a puppy or a kitty too, but I can't afford one.

@@SkyePhoenix Get a rescue pet from a shelter. They are free. Let the animal choose you not the other way around then you will have a true friend. Cats are excellent to lay up on your chest. They pull out the depression energies felt and heals your spirit. Dogs can send healing energies at you. Both animals are very intelligent spiritually but you must find the ones who naturally connect to you first. From out of a crowd of animals that want to just sniff your hand there will be that one who knows you better than you know yourself and that is the animal you need. One may stray into your life which has become common more these days with so much neglect by others who did not care for them and kicked them out of a car to the side of the highway. God is ready to listen to you and make that easy miracle come true.

My dogs are my family. They love, respect and are more loyal than any of the people I have ever met especially my family of origin. They were abusive and I am better off without them.

I hear you! Plants and animals, books and art are my constant companions. I’m so happy.

It's all about control, they can't let go of it. The biggest mistake of my life was listening to my mother, that robbed me of so many life choices and opportunities. It's been nearly 10 years since I last spoke with her and I still have nightmares from time to time.

My mom tried to sabotage my engagement while helping me prepare for our wedding. God helped me, but it was rough.

My narcissistic father sabotaged my marriage proposal to prevent me from getting married and created rumors stating that the age difference btween my ex and i was not enough. He was letting me know that he did so much for me and this is how i thanked him

My parents taught me that life is one big f***ing problem, that everyone was my enemy and they were happy & convinced I deserved every piece of that.

​@@macareuxmoine Same here.

Yea my dad couldn't even go into my apartment or listen to me talk because he would get so mad and frustrated with all the things wrong I'm doing in my life. Yet he would never guide me on how to use discernment and navigate my challenges...He would just tell me how I screwed up again!!! He told me " I was a horse he wouldn't bet on".... I felt so much anger at myself and the world at large because I just couldn't get everyone and everything to do what I need them to so things would go as planned lol. I literally was just winging it through life and had no idea until just recently why I felt so inadequate and unlovable...

I remember a psychology professor walking in on the first day of class and asking the class what they thought life was about, the room was silent for a few seconds before he shouted out pain, life is about pain and if you haven't realized it yet you will eventually. I didn't understand what he was talking about at the time.

@@David-eu1ms so why do we bother?

I feel safe and happy now

I know what you mean Perry.

Same.

Very much same

We are the Cinderella's of the world.

Woah. I felt this.

Oh jeez ! I feel so so sorry that you had to go through this and what it did to you. Why do people inflict such cruelty on their own children, their own flesh and blood. Why ?

@@naazahs9045 Because they went through worse. Adults still trying to get their childhood needs met. My mother went through a lot in her life. She wanted to be good she just couldn’t handle her emotions and tbf to her she had my extremely selfish and manipulative stepfather to contend with on top of everything else. He would gamble all the money away and leave all the responsibility to her. He was the real monster in the equation. Despite everything she was lovable 🤷‍♀️. Take care x

For me, the realization wasn’t that there were parents unlike my dad, but that I didn’t deserve to be treated with kindness because I was doing something wrong while the other children had valid complaints.

It can stop if you go No Contact! But then you have to seek therapy & healing for the unfair damage they've done. I'm 36 & moved 8,000 miles away from my entire fam, yet still have them inside my head 🥺 The programming & brainwashing is strong. I finally went officially NC a couple months ago. I can finally start healing, now 🥲 I wish the same for all of you, my fellow scapegoats! 🐐❤

Separate yourself from anyone and anything that robs you of your peace. Let peace keep you.🙏

No kidding, my mother never stopped and my dad was in lock-step with her. They bitched to my little brother so much about the way I treated THEM, he started on me about it last year after both of them died (my dad at age 84 in 2019 and my mom at age 91 in 2022), and I'm like that was 45 years ago! What did I do that was so bad? I moved out in the summer after my junior year in high school, took the high school proficiency exam and passed, moved in with my Vietnam Vet boyfriend and went to community college where I finished my AA in a year and a half and went on for my BA and MA, but was still black sheep/scapegoat of my family of origin, which I kept at arms length ever since leaving home. Somehow tho when they got very old and frail, I forgave them. And the money they had didn't run out in their old age as it does for so many, so now I own a house with no mortgage and got some money inheritance too. It feels like getting a legal settlement for the damages of my childhood. At least now that I am a (young) senior, I have a better life financially, and it is getting much better psychologically as well..

@@ladyincityoflights6449 Since such parents see children as resources, they are upset if the child doesn't provide the "return on investment" that they expect. Up until the end of life, as you've described so well. It's a truly toxic behavior.

We need to band together. That's how we win. I work on improving my life, make progress, begin to feel better, get excited that I'm on the path to recovery, then BAM. Some idiot who knows nothing of this suffering will talk down their finger at me in public...and I nosedive again into isolation. Round and round. We need a script for these occasions, so we can better deal with the setbacks. Emotional confrontation will not do the trick, yet this is where the crap sends us, we react instead of respond. Then people label us as crazy or unstable or worse.

That's a classic way to ensure no women compete with her. The other part is that "girls and woman are all dirty good for nothings" comes from her own experience she keeps as her own secret. Extremely painful.

I hope you find peace. I've known for 8 years now and the pain doesn't go away, infact I see more now I know what to look for. My parents and daughter are narcissist, she creates alot of jealously to hurt me, so did my parents She told me the other day she has no attachment to anything or anyone and blamed me for that. When I tried to defend myself she got nasty until I admitted it was my fault. She's the last of the narcissist in my life I have to go no contact with, but its hard when there's grandkids involved, but I am pulling away more. Goodluck . ❤

Yeah my narc mom used to love to make fun of everyone's appearance on tv. Nonstop everyday. So critical.

Same here, however I was rebellious because I realised if I didn't disobey I would never get to do anything. So I would lie and sneak around... I was beaten for it many times but it was worth it! I left home at 15, was dragged back (literally), but eventually left for good just before my 18th birthday

I would like to hear from your kids.

I think so. I've read and watched thousands of non-religious, near-death experiences and almost everybody doesn't want to have to come back here, even if they just gave birth, or have small children. That tells me alot.

Loosh farm? Makes more sense than all is love when all isn’t love here. The idea that we’re here to experience everything there is to experience including all the painful aspects of that so it’s recorded in the Akashic record like a giant novel makes more sense too. I just plan on learning OBE enough to leave my body permanently; escape this place without suicide cuz tried that once and psych wards are likely the most terrible human institutions on earth.

@@eternal7346 If you escape your body in that manner a demon will possess it and you will be trapped in hades (hell). I wouldn't advise it.

where did you read that about learning enough (to go in the akashic records) so you dont need to come back to earth? thank you@@eternal7346

I still have a relationship with my a-mum even though she has been toxic over the years (not as bad as other relatives), but I still really hope that cutting family off will become less stigmatised over time. People who judge don't have all the facts, and are probably projecting something onto you, too.

Same

Same here. Many see it as a character flaw on your part. It’s pretty sad really but suffering turns into grace with God’s love

They either do not understand, as it is not their experience, or they are suffering the same sick and have just not ever even tried to better themselves.

The reason they see it as a character flaw on your part is that they've most likely been blessed with at least halfway decent parents, and so they are viewing your life through the lens of their life. They don't realize and probably can't comprehend that you were raised extremely differently, and your parents may have been much crueler than theirs, and even if their parents don't deserve judgement for how they behaved maybe other people's parents do.

My entire family made sure to smear me real good to all our relatives. I have no family other than my spouse now.

Same… my parents would take my siblings and their friends and bf/gfs on trips to see our family in another state…and leave me bc they were embarrassed by me. That kind of stuff was so hard to deal with in my younger years..hugs❤

@@TaShaBeNz85 I'm so sorry to hear that. Hugs back.

Allmy family: nuts! from age 4 Iwas in charge if Moms EMOTIONAL LIFE: she was a NeedyEmpty; Raging Void! ouch

Me toooooooo

You are describing God, not a mother.

I'm very glad to hear that you're making progress

dealing with this nonsense is a major headache, i was looking for answers for decades until i got my answer... you are absolutely right

I'm always saying to myself, "I'm down for the count."

I can relate

Well said.

"How do you be a friend, how do you do that? I don't know". Exactly!

I get you. I'm 66 never married my life has bin incredibly lonely. Got punched in the gut in my childhood.

What did he have to say at 6 am that couldn’t wait until dinner time. That is crazy

yeah ...😰its ha rd for me too look back on my life and not feel like it's been a selfish waste...yet thw past is over...renewal and revival is possible..if we are willing to let go of the past completely...and be the best versions of ourselves in the now..also completely... kzfaq.info/get/bejne/f7Cqd8yqub-xcWQ.html

I feel the same. Very well said I’m trying to stop drinking this year did 3 months now I’m back to week 1 as I drank on dads 1 st year death anniversary but I will keep going and my mom is the narc. I feel the same as you I’m 54 ❤

Drinking doesn't help, it important to remember that, life is very difficult.

@@claussorensen4269 Alcoholism does not work, but an occasional well placed/earned drink...Relaxing!

@@deborahmiller3455alcoholics can’t just have one. It’s a terrible disease. I’m been trying to stop since I was 13 years old.

My mom was the same way. She acted like I was evil cuz I wanted to have friends. I only had 2 friends in high school. And we barely hung out. One time I went to the mall with one of my friends and my mom followed me and her around the whole time but my friend didn’t notice It was sooo creepy. I then realized my mother did this cuz she wanted to make sure I wasn’t w a boy. She also called my friend a lesbian

my Parents EACH scored 100% on every red Flag Dr Wise said!!

Same!!!!!

Same!

After so much B.S. from church, I know that those horrible and abusive people that try to make us feel “less than” feel like crap about themselves! I can pray at home, thank you very f-ing MUCH!!!

God is the OG narcissist

@@matthewdanko4064nice bait redditor

@@siroshcelot everything looks like bait to a fish

@@matthewdanko4064God doesn’t need anything. Even what he asks from people is ultimately for their own good. He existed eternally without humanity. The reason we exist is to both love and be loved by him. Thus to say God is a narcissist is to not know what you’re talking about because a god who needs mortals is not a god at all.

I call BULL SHIT and a free slave but a nice try. Tell her I said 25 years working Psychiatric and I think she needs a good Psychiatrist.

I think that is because many people with normal parents, just can't imagine how awful some of the crappy parents are. So they think people venting about their awful parents are just being disrespectful, or exaggerating. Even though they usually aren't exaggerating at all actually. Quite the opposite really, I think most people tend to omit a lot of the terrible things their crappy parents did.

You found help. This open discussion is help. We need each other. Late in coming, as we are just unwrapping this trauma, and discovering how BIG our group really is. Narc is a relatively new discovery. CPTSD is another key/but newly discovered part of this sick as well. I finally beat the depression, only to realize I also need to deal with CPTSD! Both are sicknesses that take years to a lifetime to cure, if you find the right help. So hard to meet this reality head on.

And this is typical of our very individualistic culture, everything is one's own fault and responsibility. I too am afraid to even talk about what I've been through and often feel guilty that I haven't been able to overcome it.

I'm sorry to hear and I hope you will overcome your struggles but you are right though I believe, there is no sense of community anymore in our societies. Everything is about success and money and it's exhausting our soul.@@melinarodriguez8395

My narc. father, always was saying this is my house & I will do what I want to do here!! He even destroyed with a sledgehammer a motorboat & boat trailer my uncle gave to him as a gift, because he was not going to take the family boating or fishing, anytime, anywhere "period"!!!! His hobby was watching sports on tv & he told a group of people one time & I heard him!!

My father said stuff like that.

When you are a child, they shame you for not behaving like an adult. When you are an adult, they treat you like a child and remind you of all the mistakes you made 20+ years ago (when you were a child being neglected and abused by THEM).

Ha..I doubt you'll be lonely for long..your quite... beautiful...I imagine inside and out

You’re words brought me to tears 😢…I feel the SAME way, and so do many others it appears….you’re not alone even if you feel lonely…

Yes, this is not my home, heaven is home. When one becomes detached from the things of this world, it is truly the road less traveled. Sadly for many, they believe this world, this life is the be-all-end-all. Thanks for sharing.

Because of my childhood things that I have gone through suffering, and I still suffer but through that it has drawn me closer to God @@walkingrace1233 I see the world, how it is, I have a longing to go home. Not to be part of this world My suffering is a gift to help me focus on my eternal life

I too do believe in "not being of this world", but I also believe that the form of loneliness described in this video is not the same thing at all. Don't let anyone, even yourself, fool you into believing that that "not being of this earth" is formed by trauma endured on this earth. It is a safe bond with the other world, not a traumatic, hurtful bond with this one.

Please get help and end the cycle. It is now conscious decision for you.

Chin up cob... 42 divorced narc dad affair dead brother cancer deaths. No car no job living near homelessness on flick of a dime.happy alone

I wonder how many of them are in denial about their own upbringing. Not that you should be the one to try to wake them up, I'm not advising you to do that. But I'm beginning to wonder, just how many people are actually emotionally healthy out there?

​@websurfer5772 not many from my experience, most people are emotionally immature

@@CaseyDavies-od7ir Yeah, and that's been shocking for me to learn as an adult.

Your mother sounds exactly like my mother! Always telling the “tragic” story of my circumstances to anyone who will listen and I still can’t work out what she gets from this but for me it feels like a lifetime of focusing on what’s “broken” about me rather than celebrating my strengths!

@@lisawanderess It is pretty sucky isn’t it? The more I examine things, the more I think she’s got covert narc traits. Envy. Competing. All the things they typically do. I think by now tho she makes me the “identified patient” and it seems very Munchausen like. Infantilization. Tries to control with money. Sabotage at times. And she likes for others to see me as pathetic. A loser of sorts. (Aka “can’t make it without her help”). She plays the role of saint, caretaker. “Nice.” And she does all this way under the radar. As far as why I guess I can only speculate tho. What I suspect. Seems like she has envy and doesn’t want me outshining her. Is never happy for me and rains on my parades. She also flips her own mirror onto me. She’s the pathetic one and the one who thinks she can’t live without me (or alone) and insecure and she tries to put that on me. “Loving caretaker” is only a role she plays. Her mask. What she really is tho isn’t at all loving. Wants me as her hostage and supply forever. Of course I’m not going to let her chain me for life eh? That’s why I’m all up in places like this. I finally told my one aunt like hey. Really? This is such bs. But anyways. Not saying anyone else’s mom is the same things but def I think if everything was fine then none of us would be here working on all this stuff. ☺️ Recently tho it just kind of hit me that infantilization is some serious stuff. Bcuz a “forever child” can’t ever self differentiate. It’s tricky Bcuz I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn’t do these things from an innocent place. (Such as how she plays dumb or gullible or like some pretend enabler etc). Innocent is only what she pretends to be. So insidious. It’s like my whole life with her has been a total gaslighting fest. But yah. It’s what I see that most nobody else sees as she often will say she’s for me. Wants me to go be an independent adult etc. Loves me. Etc etc. One lady put it so well. She isn’t really concerned about me. What she is so concerned about is holding onto what she needs for herself FROM me. And while some parents struggle to “let go” I def think what she is goes way beyond just that…And Bcuz a “nice” hostage taker is still a hostage taker.

You are literally me, holy shit. I, however, made the trade off and switched to a lower paying but less stressful job. Fuck trying to impress others and live your life.

The inner existence is very important

Same here. Everyday😢😢

Oh yea.. that homesick feeling

I've seen abusive husband constantly try to isolate kids from friends, is disturbing

I understand that this comment is old, but im currently in the same spot yet i still have my sweet dog. I can understand your pain and i am very sorry if you lost your pet i couldnt imagine losing a true companion like that

Thank you for sharing for others to learn.....my long journey has brought me to the same understanding and tools

Such wisdom. Many well wishes on your journey sir. I’m in tears reading your testimony not only because it is so heart wrenching but also because the profound discoveries you have made along your journey resonate so much. Thanks for sharing your story

Very insightful. Thanks for your share.

😢😢….I have the same type of father. It’s heart wrenching when one realizes they are not capable of “love”….although this realization does set you “free” from feeling “crazy”…the eternal loneliness is indeed the hardest emotion to shake off….

@@joanndeck4315 Yes!! You are so right about the feeling of freedom once their true nature is accepted and realized. Many blessings to you. 🙏🏼💕

@@victoryamartin9773 Thank you & your welcome. Many blessings. 🙏🏼💕

I feel that... like its never going to resolve

Same, I’m trying to move on with my life

💟

Window shopping. You just described my life. I'm weeping, something I rarely allow myself. I've always felt like I'm standing outside in the cold, looking in the windows of others' warm homes, wondering how they do it. A constant gnawing ache that I've never been able to escape.

@@cyndeetaylor Just remember that alot of what looks happy from the outside for others is an illusion.

I am sending you lots of love. Lots of beautiful,sparkling hearts✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨. We are a group of Gods angels.

@@Belevaqua Those heart emojis are pink when I click on your message, but in the message box before I click on it, they're red, and they look even cooler. And I was like, 'Where did she get the red, sparkly hearts? Those are so pretty." I've never noticed that before. Plus the sparkles are blue, pink, and gold. Your message is really nice too, but I just had to point out about the emojis because that's so neat.