I'm not embarrassed to admit that I cried the first time I heard this song.

I just want to put this out there. I battled addiction for over 20 years and now I'll be clean 9 years in April. Anyone struggling with addiction or struggling to understand about addiction, hit me up. I won't preach, be disrespectful or put you down. Addiction takes your strength, your self respect and your soul. You might have done some shitty things while using but that doesn't define you. There is happiness in sobriety no matter how much you don't think so. Keep fighting!!!

He was 18 when it happened. There's some videos on KZfaq where he talks about it. His dad was also an alcoholic and his mom's boyfriend beat him (Johnny-Mansion---basement). He spent a lot of time being raised by his grandparents and his grandfather was a preacher....where he gets most of his Christian influence.

NF his wife just announced that they're going to be having a baby boy. So that line about when he has kids and his mom won't be there it hits so much harder now that last part where he is talking and crying was supposed to be a third verse but he couldn't get through it so everyone left the studio and that portion is the result of what happened when he was alone with the mic

7:26 what he meant when he said "... telling me this isn't you" is that his mom was saying "This isn't me" as in the addict is not who she really is. This song is heart shattering to me - as a mom in recovery and as someone who has lost my own mother. Everyone should call their moms - tell her you love her, and if there is a rift try to mend your relationship with her if you can. It's true that life is short and you never know when someone will leave you forever. Clichés exist because they are true.

This song hits so different. Kinda just makes you want to give NF a big ol hug.

I'm a mom who is a recovering addict from with a 6yr old daughter. This song hits me so hard because it could have been my daughter in the same situation. This song hits so deep inside my heard and the tears well immediately. I had always felt that way, but to have someone else put it into words and in the way NF did was perfect. Soul breaking.

And dont worry homie, nobody is ready for this one.. 💔

I'm a grown man and a truck driver, I cry every time I hear this. Hundreds of times. Nothing to be ashamed of at all. NF actually had everyone in the studio leave the room for the last part of the song so he can record it and just let it out. This isn't even a song, just an expressive message to his mom from his heart

My beautiful step daughters lost their mom to addiction. The 12yo showed me this song. It's rough. I love them ❤️

Always here for NF, but this one is always hard on people. I actually went through some similar things in my childhood that he did. This was actually made me initially dive right into his music. I heard Mansion first and then this and it was like someone took all my personal feelings and thoughts and put them in a song for all to hear. It oddly felt uncomfortable at first, but it also made me break down and since then I think I have bonded in a way to NF and his music on a level I have never experienced with music before.

I was addicted to heavy stuff for almost 20 years. I'm so glad that I got through it. I never had any social workers. My 5 kids didn't go without but it could have been much better than what they had. I've been clean for 20 years now. I have 9 grandchildren and I1 great grandchild. I will never go back to that life. I will always regret that part of my life.❤

This song is very relatable.. my mom aint a drug addict but left us (my dad, sis and me) when i was 13 for someone else and build a new life without us somewhere else. Its been years before this song dropped but when it did it made me feel things i burried for a loooong long time..😅 not one other artist ever had that effect on me like that..

There’s few songs I listen to multiple times and can’t help but cry every time I hear it this is always one of them he poured his heart out showed a different side and still made it an insanely good song

This song breaks my heart, i lost my little sister last year, similar circumstances 💔 that was my baby sister, I was supposed to be there for her!! I was a shitty big brother. R.I.P. Nancy, Ill always love you!!

We may not walk in eachothers shoes but still can relate. NF has a special way to connect us.

He pretty much tells the story in the song. His mom chose pills over him and his sisters. He feels guilt for not calling her before she died. He mentions that in Mansion as well when he says: “I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom One of the first things I wrote was, "I wish I woulda called" But I should just stop now, we ain't got enough room in this song”

This is the only song I know of that makes me cry every time I hear it. It’s beautiful

Damn this song gets me every damn time! It’s hits too close to home for me as I’m raising my grandbaby because my baby is slowly killing herself. Every day & night I pray she’ll get it together & not leave him with just pictures and broken promises.

Nf’s songs always give me goosebumps but this one hits you hard for sure.

0:01 Oh noooo you are here. I hope they told you about this song ❤️ I have my tissue I cry every time

Damn... music has this amazing power of empathy. Songs like this let ppl know they are not alone, that they can get through it, cause the artist got through it. Music like this is important. Music like this really helps ppl. Music like this needs to be shared and heard. Music like this can numb the hurt. maybe help heal completely. Thanks for sharing Cliff.

I at the least tear up every time I hear this song. This sort of hits home for me. My mom was never addicted to pills but she was in a deep depression for almost my whole childhood. From 16 to 22 I didn't talk to her because I blamed her for everything. We all good now though. Unfortunately it took losing my grandma to realize all that.

He made everyone leave the studio for the last part

Im a 47 yr old man. My mom is not an addict, but has chosen to be part of my life when convenient for her, my whole life, which had been very little. She is alive and well, but a ghost in my eyes. I take peace in knowing my beautiful daughter will NEVER KNOW OR FEEL the pain Ive endured in my life. She will always know her daddy loves her and will be there for everything

My 10 year old sent me this one. She said this was how she felt regarding her father. He hasn’t passed away, just left her and her brother neglected by him. She was even baker acted last year...he didn’t change or even care. He has a cookie cutter family now. He got rid of their pictures, acts as if they don’t exist. My heart hurts for them. Watching them suffer and there’s nothing you can do but hold them.

I can only take so many of this reaction back to back. Saddest song ive ever heard

I have never heard a song that has resonated with me this hardcore. This song hit like a truck

Nf is currently expecting his first child, I pray he knows she is there 💖💖💖

Damn close got me all emotional this reaction army of Darkness buddy

We all act tough till we listen to this song. Chills

He speaks from the Buttom of my Soul....ich do the same Thing with my Mom and she died when i was 15....i love him and the Truth he speaks

This was my life. Can't listen without crying 😢

Been waiting for this one! I cried like a baby the first time I watched the video. Every time I hear him say “Mama” I want to give him a hug.

This song makes me cry literally every single time I hear it 😢

My big bro didn’t make it outta the heroin addiction I miss him everyday 11/24/11 This song always hit me in a different way

This one is rough to watch every time - lovely honest reaction - thank you for doing it - Nf is legend - so real

Thanks for keeping it real bro !! I can literally see you struggling with it stay real 💯💯

On the train missed an NF one one of the most important ones had to come back and watch it. Choooo choooo 🚊🚞

This is why I've fought & fought not to leave my family. Not so much on the addiction front but from a mental health & a bunch of physical illnesses. The thought of the pain it would cause my family is what's stopped me every time. I'm so blessed & lucky to have them as my anchor!

My daughter showed me this song a couple years ago or at least a year she lost her mother's years ago to accidental prescription overdose so very sentimental to her to show me great song Army of Darkness P. S. Cliff my two oldest struggled I struggled we were together 16 years I knew her since 15 yrs old man it's anthem for some children.

Thank you Cliff. I’ve been watching your reaction to this great music from some of the most talented artists out now. Man to me you are just as talented with the great reactions you give us. Thanks my man✅

Oh yea, this song such a tear jerker. Love your breakdowns always bruv!

I’m a huge NF fan and never heard this song until now. And this one hit me the hardest of anything he’s done and anything you’ve reacted to. Man this is hard to watch.

a very sad one! 😥 but still a part of the journey to understand NF better, especially later on...it's like a puzzle and everything is connected. i love the way you break down every bar and metaphor, even the most hidden but deep ones.

Real music!

💔 break's my heart everytime

Oh I’ve been waiting on this. It’s so deep especially if you’ve lived through this.

My last comment was to react to this then I see you did already. I'm clearly new here. My mistake. Love all your reactions tho. Very genuine and you really feel and appreciate NFs art.

Shout out to you brother for being transparent about how this track impacted you. I can't get through this one without thinking about my Dad who passed away way too soon. Keep up the great reactions and breakdowns. I'm here for it.

It’s hard not to get goosebumps an teary eyed while listening to this track 🥺😢

This song is so deep and sad love your channel

Ya this song fuckin hits hard AF deep deep in the soul... Hey we all warned ya bro this was deep

Enough to make a man to cry 😢 this music gets me every time 😭

I am fostering my sister's kiddos right now because she is struggling with her own addictions. This. So very much trying to avoid the worst outcome. He was brave to do this one. 😢

Been holding my breath for this one!!!

I never knew my mom. She was addicted to drugs. Dad got custody of me and my older brother when I was 4. My step mom that raised me, who I considered my mom. Died the day before my freshman year of high school due to lung cancer. song hits different.

OMG dear!! I'm not sure I can do this one right now hun! But I'm gonna try to stick it out for you Cliff! This one has ALWAYS killed me. But... you know it's been especially hard lately! And I relate to this one a lot on top of it! So yeah... let's go n give it a shot for you doll💯🤦😔💀😢💔😭

If Nate doesn't make you tear up, you haven't been through it...

This is the only reaction chanel that I joined after one time seeing you keep up the good work killin it

@7:08, Cliff sweetie... When he was doing this one and started crying, he had everyone leave the studio... N he finished it by himself!!💯😔😢💔 I'm so sorry you went through something like that...I have related a lot to this one myself and it breaks me every time! Peace love and light to you ALWAYS dear💯

I tried warning ya way back in your 1st or 2nd nf reaction, dam, this is a sad one 😔

I know these are only words but know that they are true. Praying for all souls dealing with addiction. Been there.

He actually broke down crying while making this track an started crying 😢 it’s so heartbreaking 💔 it’s hard not to cry 😢 he poured himself into this track 🥺

This song gets me every time

well my day is going to be fucked now. Thanks Cliff!

Thanks for an honest reaction from the heart.

#realmusic no other explanation

woah, that was heavy. I have a lump in my throat.

Man no joke my birth mom gave me up when I was 3 this song makes me angry bevause I have kids its too relatable also listen mansion

11:11 “them pills got you right?” A double in his pain. He’s jus crying and says them pills got you right? As in; the pills have made you right in your addiction but also they got you as in took you from us.

NF actually had a mental breakdown in the studio and had everyone to leave while he bawled his eyes out and recorded the last part of the song. So this was completely raw.

First view yeah me !

You're definitely not ready Cliff, sweetie! You better get a 5point seatbelt for this one hun!! N some tissue 😢🙏😰

This entire song hits me hard, but the one line that hits me the hardest is when he says "If you're still watching WHY?!?!?" I think that's the most important question to ask in a situation like this, WHY???

Thank you 🙏

The Search and Layers are 2 of my favorites by NF and I'd love to see your reactions to them

I've got my tissues ready

❤️

Cool

EFFING PILLZ KILLZ

I’ve watched all your NF vids leading up to this reaction & all I can say is, being an ADDICT is hard. I two relate to this but as an alcoholic ( having my father die from this Disease & my mothers legs amputated) … & low key & sorry if this offends you but you have characteristics of a pill popper… idk, but to anyone suffering or having first hand witness this horrible disease I for one wish you nothing but healing & a one day at a time 💜

He cried in the studio and they kept recording.

NF will be dropping his new song tomorrow at noon eastern!!!!

Fml, I wasn't ready😭

@Cliff, I think it was opioids and benzos... I'm not 100 on that but I think it was... and she had them taken away a couple of times but she passed when he was 17 I believe. It was actually her bf that used to beat him (from mansion).. and he just became a father of a baby boy so it's like a completely different song in a way now 🙏😢

You need to do some come and get it vibe and do "Cornbread" or "dirty boys"

Gravestone: Cliff Beats xxxx-2021 “He thought he was ready.”

What is the name program that you used for picked up the word i need him And for song i never seen ever like this emotional song also i noticed that this song hit you hard and its impact immediately it is fucking deep dude

Oh this one's going to kill me again. But I'm going to watch it just for your reaction.... I thought about warning you but that would mess with the reaction.

A great emotional song for you to check out is silence by jarren benton

I'm not crying........ I'm not crying 😭😭😭 fxck! 🥺😥😭

@7:26, I have always believed it was about his Mom "the music" and she was saying like no.. you're wrong that's not ME?! Just a thought to see what you think 🤔

Is that middle album cover on the wall Airbourne Toxic Event?

Looking forward to you checking out a Marlon Craft freestyle. Mindblowing!

I cry at this everytime its not my mom but my dad for me, i watched my dad get drunk try to kill himself while my mom was not home me as the oldest i tried to pull my dad from doing that, i still remember my dad wasting my dad and moms paychecks drinking in bars, then he felt he had to leave the country to Tenerife and lived there with the thought we would go there but all he did was live there and move back to my mom whom for that is a naive lady... i could see at 5 years old my mom crying knowing my dad was not around to do what was doing 16 i asked my dad if i could go with him to another country to have something different he said no but your brother can come it was the moment i stopped idolizing my dad as just some other guy and since then i felt sorry for my mom i felt if u didnt have kids wouldnt u be happier then having kids from that guy.. he died from cancer in England while i was in Belgium his family and my step siblings cursing me for not going cause at that point all he was was a guy whom stayed with me asked for money and when he got sick he left to his family making me think once more im not his family so i didn't go to his funeral, can u imagine that u can remember only the bad things from the stuff cause the good things happened when i wasn't even aware of anything and i don't even know what good is about it but kids will cling to parents nomatter what until they figure it out but then u figure out my whole dad family full of sh*t and u can only laugh at hilarity of it being u that is related to this...maybe i should start writing songs cause i know i could cause unfortunately enough my youth is still haunting me and this is just my dad forget school, friends, girlfriends, my mom...

Have you seen the video Cowboy from Upchurch ft. Carly Rogers.

Your not ready lol

Yo can you do the official music video to “suit up” by nick nittoli or “don’t talk about it” by neon hitch next? Thanks! Dope reaction btw 💗💗💗😀

To think NF now has a kid