it’s the worst thing ever, it repeats 24/7 im never at peace

OCD is truly one of the most terrifying illnesses in existence- the worst part is that no one can see what you are suffering from.

Being asleep is the only release if you can

The worst situation to be in because its like being in quick sand. The more you try the worse it gets. Thanks again for this video, it helps knowing there are people who have these similar thoughts. It gives me relief that its not just me. God bless 🙏

My OCD always made me feel like everyone got a manual on how to be a person but me. I cant stop overthinking the most simplest of things that always seemed obvious to everyone else. Its isolating

Having OCD and a narcissistic abuser who tells you that you’re a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to be loved. I can’t breathe or sleep from this anxiety. Sending love to everyone who is also suffering🤍keep fighting

THANK YOU!!!! I HATE hearing all the comments about people confusing OCD and perfectionism!!! I get all these same thoughts and it’s so comforting to see that others have these thoughts too!

Stay strong bro. I’ve lived with OCD and by my standards I would call extreme OCD for most my life, since before I was 12 to present. I’m now 51 and it has been a lifetime of mental stuff. I’ve learned so much about OCD tho and I’ve worked very hard to control it as best I can do it doesn’t effect my everyday life. Bless up and Jah guidance , most of all stay strong

Really loved the video. Jesus. The shame is unreal. Truly unreal. Always convincing myself I’m evil and don’t deserve to live. Fuck it will hit you so hard sometimes.

It makes me feel like I did something that I would never ever do. It convinces me that I did that thing and I always ruminate and it’s a constant vicious cycle. I really need a therapist so I can enjoy my one and only life.

To anyone reading this. You can get through it and live a fulfilling and happy life. Beleive me, for years I was stuck in an un ending cycle of thoughts about my existence. What is death? What is life? Who am I? Is this real? And the worse : ocd thoughts about ocd. It was unberable and I became severly depressed and anxious as I also suffer from panic attacks. I took antidepressants and got a proper diagnosis and my psychologist told me I had « existencial ocd ». We began an exposure and reponse therapy to those thoughts. It took me a couple of months to get back on my feets and now I’ve been free for the last 4 years. The ocd response and thoughts still come back from time to time but it’s managable and don’t stick very long.

You're not the only one. Your story and mine sound identical. I know it only helps a little to know that, but it's something.

Don't give up hope, friends! With therapy, a little medication, and a lot of patience/prayer, it DOES get manageable, you can live a normal life! Just remember it takes time! Took me a long time to get to a pretty normal state, and I still have moments, but I am still improving, and after considerable practice and professional help, I can say I'm generally more often happy or content rather than stressed!

I long all day just to go to sleep so I don’t have to fight the mind games anymore. But as soon as I wake up, it starts immediately.

Try having existential OCD and worry about everything you will never have an answer too 24/7 you have to be careful of what movies you watch certain phrases you here...... it's like a loop of terror.

I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder and OCD recently. Somehow, it felt like a relief that now I know why I feel and think things a certain way. I felt seen in this video and now I know I'm not alone. I pray for healing to everyone, God bless.

Oh man it feels so good to see someone share this experience, its so hard but we need to keep fighting. Stay strong brother i love you

My thoughts come in images, my ruminations are mixed with images. I obsess over conveyng exactly what I mean or intend/ being truthful. I get stuck on a particular situation and worry (obsessively) that someone has got the wrong idea of my beliefs. I replay the situation over and over like a movie in my head. If I could go back and change my body language to let them know that I did not agree with the other person next to them I would feel comfortable again, but I can't. It is TORTURE!

My god it is hell. Most days I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m on edge 24/7.

The lists of reasons why I will never find love or have children is ever-growing, but this has been on them since the beginning.

Omg I cannot express how fucking grateful I am I found this.. I've always thought I had some tendencies but also did not understand these aspects of the condition.. I've been losing my fucking mind recently thinking all of these exact thoughts and worrying myself into the ground.. This video, and a few others of yours I found now, feels like someone understands my brain 🥹😭 thank you so much for sharing your life/story with us, it's giving me so much hope to keep going!! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

I suffer horribly from ocd, and I’ve never met anyone who can relate to me in person with it. Not the “cleaning ocd” the ocd rumination like this one. I would never wish this on anyone, but I don’t deserve it either.

This is very educational. I, like a lot of people, literally just thought OCD was like the obsessively cleaning or tap your toe 17 times because that's how media protrays OCD. This seems so much more horrible. Recently I've found out what it actually is, and I'm really disappointed such misconceptions are so prevalent. Thank you (and other OCD related channels on the internet) for educating me, someone who doesn't have OCD, on the subject better.

I feel you... mine starts the minute my brain wakes up, even before I've opened my eyes sometimes... its awful.. I almost considered not having children because of the thoughts I might get in response... I've had it since I was a little girl, I remember the thoughts of wishing my new born sister dead over and over and screaming and crying that I didn't mean it and then feeling that I was possessed by something because I couldn't control these bad thoughts... its still my number 1 trigger that I worry I am possessed by evil and that is why I think like I do... every day is such a struggle and a battle... I've tried to pray but my intrusive thoughts like to say that I'm praying to Satan and not God. I've heard exposure therapy but I really don't think I could do it with the possession thingy. Anyways thanks for posting and letting me know that I'm not completely alone in this ❤

Exactly the same for me. I never asked for the thoughts, subject of the thoughts or the hours upon hours of anxiety and feelings of dread and being a horrible person. OCD has just shifted over the last 30 years of my life and in my early twenties kicked up just like you show in this video. You are not alone.

Thanks my friend. This video gives me a bit of a relief. I was aware of that I have OCD but never diagnosed. This is exactly what my day is. And as you mentioned everybody thinks it's about repetative actions and that always kept me believimg I have OCD. However even my job choice is because of OCD now I understand.

I thought everyone was like this until my sister suggested that i may have ocd lol What you described is how ive been thinking since i was a kid. I cant express how debilitating and ruinous it has been to my life/self worth. thanks for making this!

OCD really ruin my life I was a very good basketball player ranked in my class freshman year with d1 interest and lost everything to this stupid disease

I didn’t know that first one was because of OCD, I honestly thought that happened to everyone

I have ocd too I get bad intrusive thoughts

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I do get the thoughts in the morning and honestly all thru out the day too

I have OCD and insomnia and it feels unbearable a lot of the time like my brain is putting me through hell and not even letting me rest through it and the sleep deprivation makes it even worse

I was an OCD sufferer. My OCD may get started when I was 12 years old. I might had many kinds of OCD. I cured my OCD by myself completly. Believe me its possible. I have recently started a KZfaq channel and I am going to shere my personal experience and tips on how you can cure it by yourself without taking anyone's help. I promise u that it will be helpful you u. So stay tune with my channel because many useful content is yet to come. ❤

So glad I saw this.! It makes me feel not so alone 😢

this helped me feel less alone during my very very lonely walk through this hell. You captured this perfectly, thank you so, so, so much. I would love to be friends with more people who have ocd

I have been living with severe OCD that’s debilitated me and cut me off from society for nearly 8 years. I’m only 23 and I feel like I’m never going to get better. I’ve been in countless meds, been in therapy for years. I have countless intrusive thoughts every single moment that I’m awake and also do mental compulsions to “deal” with those thoughts all day every day. I also suffer from depression and PTSD. I am exhausted and don’t know how much fight I have left in me.

I have struggled with ocd. It’s very true. You’re bombarded with negative and debilitating thoughts and emotions, and the more you try to resolve them, the more panicked and anxious you get. This is truly from the devil. I pray that anyone who has struggled with this truly comes to their wits end and clings desperately to Jesus Christ. He literally HAS SAVED ME from my sins and an eternity in hell. And He has freed my mind. Not to say that I don’t still stumble and fall into those times. But He is my God, and He has dealt kindly and mercifully with me. I pray that all will be sold out for Him for their salvation from this sin-corrupted world. His kingdom is coming soon- praise GOD that He has made me a citizen if His kingdom. But while on this earth, I must choose His Way in everything- I thank Him for His Word, the Bible. His Holy Spirit dwells within me so that I can carry out His good works, WORRY FREE! So yes, I pray that all will follow Christ, and that those who struggle with any sort of darkness will seek godly council!! Lord bless!

This is so real. I’m tearing up because it feels like I’m in the pit of hell and have no peace when it’s all that I want

I also have ocd . I knew I had it but got medically diagnosed recently. This is exactly what my day looks like and the thing that hurts the most is that my parents think its not that big of a deal but I still love them becoz they are getting me medical help

Embracing whatever feelings your pushing off helps a lot. Your thoughts are connected to feelings so feel them even IF their weird. Then move on… hope this helps

For me it gets worse with stress/depression. I had and still have (sometimes now) severe anxiety. Also when it's bad I usually get intrusive thoughts about doing bad things to people or having bad things done to me, and my worst enemy, extreme obsession with death. It cripples me and I always get anxiety attacks everytime I get the death obsessions. I'm glad I'm doing way better now. I'm medicated on GAD meds and SSRIs which definitely helps but it's still not 100%. When I'm off medication, I pretty much relapse into my anxiety/depression. I used to have such severe compulsions when I was younger I would literally spend every second I my day counting and recounting and not being able to stop doing things over and over because I would have anxiety. And over time now it's been way better, sometimes I still count things over and over, I would get severe intrusive thoughts and anxiety about doing bad things to others.

Thank you for making this. I want to show it to as many people as possible so that they can stop misunderstanding this disorder

For me I’m an A student with ocd. From the second I wake up, I have to go through each one of my classes thinking if I have anything to do for hw or studying. Then I do that over and over. Probably 200 times a day. It’s exhausting, debilitating and it just takes over. And nobody understands it. I go to therapy but it can only do so much. I can’t focus on anything expect it, even when I’m trying to relax. It’s rough

thank you for being so vulnerable about your hurt and your experiences. i hope that you are supported so honestly and wholly by loving and authentic souls

I don’t want to self diagnose because obviously that’s wrong and not healthy, but the more I look into this, the more I realize, I do a lot of these things. I’m constantly in a state of fear that I’ve done something wrong, I’m doing something wrong, am about to do something wrong. I feel constantly emotionally drained which makes me feel especially terrible around friends because I feel like I’m just faking my reactions when they tell me things and it makes it harder to relate to what they’re telling me. Even personally I feel this. Recently I lost both my childhood pets and I didn’t even cry or feel anything really. And realizing that scared me because I thought “I just lost a huge part of my life. Why do I not feel anything? Am I a bad person for not feeling upset? Am I crazy for not feeling anything?” I have diagnosed ADD and I thought maybe the thoughts just overlapped, but I’m kinda worried. Can anyone possibly tell me why I might feel this way?

I want us all to know one thing, our content of intrusive thoughts may differ greatly but the pattern of our compulsions remain the same - we have different triggers but we all either exhaustingly ruminate, clean, avoid/postpone things we love, problem solve, ask for assurance, repeat, redo, check, punish, etc THE CONTENT of our thoughts do not matter, the intervention point is at the compulsion. Getting lost on the content is the main trap we fall into, think of the compulsion, tolerate anxiety, let anxiety eat you up but you stay away from compulsions. Short term dread for long term benefits.

I feel for you, dude, I still struggle with this stuff all the time. Thankfully, I got some help through NOCD and it low key changed my life (my buddy’s too). I still deal with intrusive thoughts, but the way I deal with them is night and day now. I implore whoever’s reading this, and is struggling like I was, to give NOCD a shot. This shit doesn’t have to own you!

Thank you for making this video. My boyfriend mental health as been declining alot and we were both trying to look on what could be going on. And this... this is spot on.

this is so true. i have ocd and my brain basically tells me i’m a horrible person and i could get punished by the universe 😔

“It’s depicted as being an eccentric hand washer, but in reality” That hit me wrong, because ocd can also be just that. I struggle with it, and it is not easy. The hand washing part also exists, and is fucking horrible.

The 18 is ”better” and sweeter but the 15 has so much character I'm so into it.

I have spent years working on recovering from this, it does get better, you can beat it. I can tell when something is my pure o and know how to stop it from getting out of hand. You'll find your answers someday too. Dont be afraid to talk with other people and share your story talking helped me a lot

This video says so much about people who have OCD and have to live with obsessive intrusive thoughts. When I get the diagnost of OCD from my doctor, I felt like for the first time in my life I understood that the pain from those thoughts wasnt my fault, and it's has medical treatment that can make me live my life without feeling guilty or shame for things that aren't even real. I know it's in my mind but, It doesnt define who I am.

Youre a legend mate god bless you.

I’ve been having HORRIBLE ones. What if I’m a murderer and I forgot? What if I traumatized someone and didn’t know??? I have literally had all of these. My greatest fear is doing horrible heinous crimes, going to prison, or becoming one of the things he said in this video. It’s agony.

This one short video explains mu life perfectly, especially the thoughts that come in your head all at once! I hate ocd, knowing I can never get rid of it, when I have it under control all I've got to do is relax just a tiny but, forget about it and all the tools to deal with it and boom it hits hard! OCD is debilitating at times and so tiring to deal with even when it's not the bad! It's a constant battle with your own mind!

must have done somethings horrible in my past lives that I got this as a punishment. I have accepted it as my reality. I let it take over and believe what it says. At least with this it stops for 2 minutes . Accepting that yes , I'm indeed the person my thoughts tells me is satisfying. This is my truth.

"What if I'm the only person alive and everyone else is fake." YES!!!!

I was diagnosed with ocd when I was nine years old. It’s gotten better since then but I still have intrusive thoughts every day of my life. Thank you for making the disorder more understood ❤️

Bro, tears... I've felt so bad for a long time thinking I'm horrible - the worst... I heavenly identify myself with the intrusive thoughts in the morning. Thank You! Thank you for making me feel like I'm not a freak.

How many times have I washed clothes unnecessarily, how many times have I thrown things out, and how many times have I ruminated and obsessed over some that bothers me. Ocd is truly hideous when it gets extreme

Hi I have OCD too thanks for the encouragement ❤❤❤

I notice that in a social situation in the moment no worry. As soon as I’m alone by myself all of a sudden I start worrying I did something or said something inappropriate. I’ve been wearing a face mask still due to insecurities and when I’m alone and already removed it and lie in bed the intrusive thought “did I have my face mask on?” Starts. I end up getting worried because if the imagination and although I’ve asked people and they confirm I did have it in it starts all over again next time. Happens every time and NOW I’m aware it’s a spiritual warfare attack and it plays on what bothers me most. I couldn’t sleep until I asked the person I spoke to if my mask was on. Then it happened again today but I refuse to ask the person again because it’s feeding into it Last Friday I had a grocery delivery to the front door and I put my mask on unpacked my shopping and then 3 hours later I start settling down to pray. THEN the intrusive scary thought popped up: Dod J have my face mask on? I even text the driver to get reassurance and phoned up the store to ask the driver that morning. I knew it was an attack from the enemy but despite this I could not concentrate and spent the day ruminating I’ve been pressing into God and cutting out secular music, fasting & praying to the point I would have dreams and remember them now. Despite this the “ocd/doubting demon keeps taking over and I can’t concentrate on God. I know based on the theme it plays on my insecurity or fears and the fact people tell me after I did have my mask on, and in the moment I’m aware it’s in and feel fine it only gets me when I’m alone after he social situation and plants the question leading to doubt, rumination, panic and needing reassurance again

Dealing with ROCD

Thank you, this made me feel so much less alone.

Thank you. A lot of people think it’s just cleaning etc but I do hope people soon see it differently

Thank you for your video regarding this debilitating disease, I have been suffering POCD for going on 10 years now, afternoons and nights are the worst as my depression kicks in due to these thoughts as I am exhausted from battling my ocd all day😢 I get lots of headaches a d am always feeling exhausted

this is the first time ive seen my exact feelings be worded by someone else.. thank you

Disturbingly relatable

i don't think i will ever be able to view myself as a good person deserving of love. ocd has destroyed me

As someone who suffers from OCD, I just wanna say hang in there, we will get out soon.

I get so tired

I relate, it's awful. Thanks for sharing this and representing OCD much more accurately than what is often portrayed.

Oh wow, this was a major eye opener for me. I think I'm OCD. It explains so much. Thank you for all you do.

I believe I struggle w/ religious ocd the 4th one. I get inappropriate lustful thoughts, cussing in my head, saying mean things about people, even lustful thoughts towards God 😖 n tons of what ifs tons of im i sinning? It’s so stressful and depleting and it’s so hard not to focus on them the thoughts makes me feel sooo dirty. Jesus please save me.

Thank you so much for sharing. You're helping us all.

been going through this for the past few months. pretty disturbing and causes a lot of distress. put my trust in the Lord, I will keep getting better!

Anyone here gets offended by people who say they are so OCD whwnever they try to align stuff or make things in order? I hate it when people say this to me. They dont have even the slightest clue on what we go through

Even if some OCD haver isn't very or just not compulsive/do rituals at all like what people assume, having intrusive thoughts sure is still very disabling. Being temporarily freezed because of having to deal with things you never asked for but your brain insist on. It really is a genuine disorder.

I greatly relate to this. I'm sorry you have dealt with this.❤

the only sure thing about ocd is that everyday is a shitty day

Why the hell is this so relatable? I wholeheartedly hate that fact.

I didn't even know it was top 10.. I've been diagnosed with ocd and I can't catch a break at all.. im finally learning way more than ever and I still feel very shitty..

The thoughts, all at once triggers me because I have the same problem

Ya, recently I’m really reflecting on whether I’ve traumatized some people. Since I’ve been traumatized myself (if not by my OCD at least) I hate the thought that I might have traumatized others as well and they experience what I have experienced.

What people need to understand is that just because someone's OCD theme revolves around whether they're a terrible person or not, that doesn't mean they should be reassured that they're not one. That fuels the OCD. All you have to do is accept the uncertainty.

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but this pretty much sums up my life. I don’t know why but it makes life really hard and I convince myself that by “warning” myself 24/7 of all the bad things that I could do, it makes me “safer”? Even though it makes me live with constant guilt and stress. And I tell myself that all the intrusive thoughts could so easily become reality and it’s really scary and I become a monster in my eyes because by having all these what if scenarios in my head, I convince myself that they sum up what I am as a person and therefore I’m a horrible person. I try to write them down, (my therapist said that would work) but I physically couldn’t the words couldn’t be written. I don’t want to diagnose myself though as I’m not a medical professional but if I even think or suggest to myself that I could maybe have it, my head tells me I’m a horrible liar who only wants attention and is the worst person alive. Being the way I am (OCD or not) can be exhausting but I am grateful for my life and recently I’ve been having more good days than bad days so that’s good 🫶

Anyone on here that suffers from OCD ever get so obsessed about whatever your theme is like Real event ocd or whatever that you start seeing things everywhere that pertain to what your obsessing about and that just triggers you more and you start obsessing if it’s God telling you something or wonder if it’s just that you think about it so much that your mind just subconsciously recognizes the things you obsess about out in the world.

I have ocd. When I see what people thinks or do, I think they are fucking insane. I am not better

Everything feels like it's dirty and people around me don't understand.

اضطراب الوسواس القهري لدي غريب قليلا وكنت ابحث عن اشخاص يعانون نفس النوع من هذا الاضطرابات لكن لم اجد حتى رأيت هذا الفيديو انا فعلا اعاني من خوف اني قد اكون أذيت شخص ما او فعلت له شخص فظيع عقلي يخبرني دائما اني مذنبة ولا يوجد دليل واحد على اني مذنبة ...اسفة على الكتابة بلغتي الأم على فيديو باللغة الأنجليزية انا فقط افهم اللغة الأنجليزية لكن لا استطيع التحدث بها بطلاقة ❤

as someone who suffers from specifically the contamination-based ocd thoughts, even that is so much more than simply "being a germaphobe"

sending empathy and compassion

OCD manifests in many forms. Unfortunately I found out the hard way, suffering years of traumatizing thoughts, where I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. I did not have the answer to anything and lived in this state for a very, very long time. Intrusive thoughts are esp. Disturbing and uncomfortable.

Feels exhausting because I feel like if I don’t refuse the thoughts n let them come then I’m agreeing with those thoughts.

Ive had ocd for as long as i can remember. It was always there for me

I suffered from it, in my opinion we should stop saying stuff about brain not letting us live peacefully. Im almost fully recovered, i dont suffer from it at all already, just have thoughts popping up sometime. What I found myself it was me that wasn't letting me enjoy my life and just chill. I think it is some form of mental self harm to distract yourself from something internal, from some conflict inside of you. It's just learned at some time in out luves and we forget that life is okay without control to begin with. At least thats what its been in my case, and I'm fully recovered w/o medication and just with some introspection and minor help from psychologist.

Thank you for making this and sharing it

When I was a child, I thought I was going insane. It took me until I was 22 to be brave enough to search up why I was having these intrusive thoughts. I still have never told anyone about it. Now I'm 31. It's mostly okay, but there are lapses and ups and downs.

It's 12:47 and I prayed to the most high in your behalf Matt. It's friday. Yes and I asked that you be cured in Jesus name. I prayed to God almighty using his name Jehovah. May my faith in you and our reigning king Jesus, and God's power take this horrible sickness out of your life please. Thank you