I loved making this video. It's one of those deep breakdowns that I just adore doing. Wanna help? Share it with someone who might find it helpful. It's probably one of the more important OW vids I have! #freeeducationalforall ~ Tim

I like Tolkien's solution: nock the view point protagonist out and explain afterwards.

Me: *reads the hobbit to learn how to write battle scenes* surely TOLKIEN knows how to do it. The Hobbit: *Knocks out the perspective character in the opening moments and wakes him up after* Me: ..... got it.

It’s almost like writing in general is complicated. 🤔

easy: just say who won and if anyone asks a wizard did it

"I don't know if you've been in a fight before, but there's usually not this much talking." -Sam, Captain America Civil War

"If characters have time to monologue, it feels boring." The Princess Bride fencing scene: AM I A JOKE TO YOU

Tim: "Let's get down to business" Clip: "To defeat" Me: "THE HUUUNNNS!!"

"But what about space battles?" _The Expanse appears_ "Ah, well done."

Me, going back through my manuscript for edits: "God I hope these fight scenes don't suck." Fight scenes: S U C K Me, giving up and jumping on youtube: "Well I guess it can wait till tomorr-Oh my gosh he didn't!" You're always saving the day, friend.

I was literally searching "tips on writing fight scenes"...then I got a notification about this video posting 9 minutes ago. Fate.

If you ever need someone to read a passage from Name of the Wind, I think I can do a really annoying Kvothe.

Dude! How did you know I was just writing a fight scene? Get your cameras out of my study!

"Screaming, I grabbed the lever and yanked hard." ANyone gonna say it? ... ANYONE? ... *ᵗᴴᵃᵀ'ˢ ʷʰᴬᵗ ˢʰᴱ ˢᵃᴵᵈ*

Daniel Greene: "he'd slapped her. he'd SLAPPED her." me, a 35 year old, professional internetter for 20 years: HOW CAN HE SLAP

Not. Enough. Avatar references.✊

The only thing I "write" is d&d but I found this really useful.

Of course Daniel Greene was the one to read the Wheel of Time excerpt lol

Merphy!!! I love hearing her narration; I’m so glad you included one of the books she narrated in your video!

Me: "Ight, I'm gonna make the fighting based on Historical European Martial Arts cause I want to to feel authentic." Also me: "So...how do I write this in a way that people will actually know what I'm writing and not end up having confusing stuff like Eon and Eona, and feels satisfying cause people actually die when they should die?" Like legit, I feel that if I have the main character managing to kill several enemies quickly rather than having a lot of back and forth my readers will think I've just made an OP main character when he's not.

Loved the clip from "Make a man out of you" because literally every time I say or hear "let's get down to business" I immediately think of that :D

I'd like to bring up _Worm._ It has plenty of fight scenes between characters with a wide variety of superpowers, often involving several separate superpowered combatants. However, he makes it easy to follow through a number of techniques. Some are simple (characters who first appear in a fight scene were previously introduced verbally, mentioning their powers in the process), but what I'd like to highlight is how he handles space. His combatants are mobile more often than not, several have powers or devices that obscure eyesight, and as hinted the big fight scenes can get very complicated. But the protagonist can control bugs, and one of the first things she learns how to do is stick them on people to keep track of them. Even if Taylor is hiding two blocks down the road, she can keep track of every combatant in a fight scene without breaking immersion.

Hey, there! These days I was writing a fight scene, but with little consequences (it was kinda a training between two characters, and it serves to kinda foreshadow the relationship between them - don't know how to explain better) and after hours of research, seeing videos about sword fight and establishing how skilled they are, I struggled to put the scene into words. Your video is just perfect to explain what is happening in the writing. PS: I'm not used to commenting on your videos, but you answered me on twitter and I'm trying my best, cause I've been watching your channel for over a year. And in case you don't remember, I've said that every day I wish I can find your content in portuguese, so I've could share with some fellow writers that can't understand english. Amazing work! (I'm truly sorry if my english is bad, can listen and read just fine, but writing and speaking are not my forte)

"50% of it takes places inside Paul's head", 50% of the entire book takes place in someone's head. It what makes it such a difficult read, at times. For every thing that happens, we learn two different internal reactions to it. Great, but a hard read.

"The character who clearly has the upper hand in the fight is... the Viper... for a while." Why did you bring that up? That shit still hurts.

Not even 3 minutes in and there’s an ATLA reference. Nice.

Hello Future Me: let's get down to business Literally everyone watching: *TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!!!*

My favorite fight scenes in fantasy is surprisingly from the Wheel of Time series. I love how Jordan, a writer notorious for being descriptive with his writing manage to write such elegance with fight scenes that go by quick especially in the famous war battle: Dumai Wells. It doesn't help that Jordan is also a Vietnam War Veteran.

This is the fourth video I watch in your "On Writing" series, and I must say that, so far, they have been some of the most, if not the most, enlightening videos on writing I have watched. Not only do you explain those COMPLICATED elements of writing in a way that is easy to understand, but you so in an engaging and entertaining manner. The examples you use are both diverse and totally spot-on, and I can't thank you enough for always summarizing everything at the end. Excellent work, I'm taking notes and looking forward to watching more of your writing videos!

I love how Robert Jordan wrote his fight scenes to maximize the reader’s imagination. Instead of describing sword strokes in detail, he gave moves abstract names like “Herron wading through water” and “Grasshopper jumping over a mountain”. Just evocative enough to give you an extremely general idea of what was happening, but forcing you to imagine 90% of the actual detail. This draws you into the fight by making you invested, and the overall effect is that when the fight is over you feel like you’ve watched a movie even though surprisingly little description was actually given.

How you block the fight scene also can massively affect the balance between action and internalized monologue. A lot of tension can be built if you set up the stakes for making an attack and then focussing on how a character analyzes their opponent and/or their environment. Engaging and disengaging is underutilized and is especially useful if the fight starts with enough unknowns

three minutes in and already better than everything I've watched/read on fight scenes. THANK YOU

I will take up that challenge, so here is a fight scene I wrote along time ago (and recently updated a week ago) from a novel I'm in the process of writing: “Aivas!” she yelled. The suddenness of her voice caused him to turn towards her as an arrow that surely would have found its mark, instead caught him in his left shoulder. He stumbled, clutching the shaft and falling to his knees. Drop. Without hesitation she dropped to her stomach as another arrow shot over her head where she was standing. A soft thud followed as it impacted the ground meters from her face, “Ambush!” Despite the cry, her outburst had drawn everyone’s attention away and they were caught off guard. She watched as a soldier in front of her took an arrow to his throat. He clutched at it and gurgled blood from his mouth as he dropped to his knees. The cry of at least dozens of voices rang out as men wearing animal skins and bones dropped out of the trees, brandishing simple made hatchets and spears. Arrows seemed to appear out of the canopy and rained down on them. She looked to where their team leader had been standing and found Niko holding the dying man in his arms, three arrows protruding from their leader’s chest. The look of shock on Niko’s face snapped her mind into focus. “Defend yourselves!” cried Aivas, breaking the arrow shaft at the base, and readied his blade to face an oncoming attacker. He deftly parried an incoming blow from his assailant, and countered with a knee to his opponent's stomach, dropping the savage to the ground before scything his blade across the attacker’s back, deep enough to sever the spine, a spray of blood covering his arm. Eklypsia’s heart was pounding. Shield up, keep your footing. Brace and react. She got to her feet and took up her stance, scanning the battlefield. She saw a fur-covered man bearing down on Niko. Without a second's hesitation, she readied one of her javelins and launched it. It flew over Niko’s shoulder finding purchase in the attacker’s shoulder, knocking them off their feet and causing them to spin in the air. Niko dropped their leader and quickly scampered over to the downed man and brought his sica down into the opponent's chest to finish him. He looked back and nodded a thanks, then pointed violently back her way. She turned around as a crazed-looking man wielding two hatchets came screaming at her. She brought her shield around and braced. Hit after hit came crashing down on her. It was all she could do to follow his movements and deflect each blow, so unrelenting were his strikes. Spittle flew from his mouth as he wailed a barbaric war cry. She found herself giving ground, eventually dropping her javelin and using her other arm to help support her slowly cracking shield. The man was big, but his savagery made him seem like a giant. Her courage began to fail as she felt tears well up in her eyes like liquid fear. Strength waning, a deflect turned into a full block, and the man’s axes found purchase in her shield, the blades breaking through centimeters from her face. Her eyes widened at their proximity and she froze. Pulling with all his might the barbarian wrenched the shield off her arm. She felt something pop in her shoulder and pain exploded. Before she could fully cry out he kicked her square in the chest, knocking the wind out of her and sending her onto her back. A hard crack rang through her skull as her helmet met a log and her vision began to swim. He stood over her, panting, eyes wild with both hatred and excitement for the kill. For a brief instant she was reminded of her childhood with the man in the market standing over her when she’d defended the slave boy. She knew she should move, run, escape. Instead, she was frozen, struggling to breathe and her eyes barely able to focus on the man as she held an arm up as if to ward him off. He raised his axes high into the air and roared one last wild scream. She gripped her eyes tight in fear. A loud thud turned his cry into a gurgle. She opened her eyes to find a spear sprouting from his chest. Shock spread across his face while rage still boiled in his eyes as he fell backwards like a freshly chopped tree. She gasped for air as her breath returned and shuffled back, propping herself up on her elbows against the log behind her. Taking in the sights, her eyes darted back and forth unable to focus on any one thing for long. It was a pure melee. Individual fights raged on as one man fell to another and the victor moved on to find a new target. At least a dozen of her number had fallen already. The cries of the wounded came as an onslaught to her ears. It was as if all her senses were coming back to her at once. She couldn’t even focus on their faces, her eyes constantly drawn to their wounds, friend and foe alike. One was clutching a stump where his hand had been, another trying to hold in his entrails. She watched another lop the head off his opponent before a set of arrows found themselves embedded in his body. A wave of dizziness came over her and she saw nothing more but black.

Is there a good rule of thumb for bigger fights? I noticed the Order of the Phoenix Fight was mostly centered around, well, Harry and co with everything happening in the background, but is there a good way to do a fight like Tony Cap and Thor vs Thanos? How would a fight like this diverge from the tips given in this video? Was still an insightful video thou, fight scenes are so bad I wish that a Wizard Did It

Jokes on you, my older sister is in med school, so I can just ask her whether or not something kills

One of my WORST fight scenes was in my first story I ever wrote. I was ten at the time, and so determined to write a violent story as PG as possible, that I kept saying people were “defeated” when I meant killed. The result was something that sounded like color commentary on a turn-based war game.

A day will come when HFM makes a video without one single reference to or clip from Avatar but it is not this day. Or any other day really. Nor should it, for Avatar is awesome.

I'm a simple woman, I saw Oberyn, I clicked.

Best part of the video is, “Fight scenes are complicated”

"You don't need to only write short sentences for fight scenes." Praise the lord! Also, Tim, you emotionally wrecked me with all those shots of Sirius' death 😭

Viewing this video inspired me to meet the request of "looking forward to read your fight scenes in the comments". Hope my stab at it was decent :3 *Another on the List* She hardly managed to look through the open window, before hearing the light steps behind her. She quickly turned to face her assailant, both hands firmly gripping her sword. The cloaked figure responded by flinging a small open bag towards her. The thick dust made him but a blur, ruining her vision far more than her helmet ever could. Now being forced to fight her breath and eyes, just as much as the one in front of her, she jerked her body forward, making a desperate stab at her foe. With a quick swing, he bashed her sword to the side, granting the opening he needed. He plunged his blade effortlessly between the plating, into her throat, blocking the scream before it could escape her lips. As the poison flowed through her blood, and her blood began to flood her lungs, her sword fell to the floor, and she was soon to follow. But he caught her, and gently brought her down to the floor. And like a parent putting their newborn to the crib... he gently held her, whispering comforting nothings to her as he looked in her eyes, till they slid shut and the sleep took her. And with that, he had brought another on the list to rest.

I'm a simple person, I see Sanderson in the tittle and I click.

me: having a book idea that revolves heavily on fights but dose not want it to be boring or read like an instruction manual on how to fight this video: got you covered bro

This reminds me of a book I once read. It’s called The Day I Died, can’t remember who wrote it. It’s written slowly, so slowly. The entire story is written as a flashback, almost as if the main character is seeing their life flash before their eyes in that one moment before everything ends. But it works. The whole mystery of the story is how did they die. And it’s an amazing story to read. I won’t spoil the ending here, but I will say that it has stayed with me years later.

I wish I could 'like' this video multiple times. Seriously, this is one of the most relevant videos to my own writing struggles I've ever found! A thousand thank-yous, good sir! (And I will definitely be watching this one a few times for study)

I needed this right now and I got this right now. Edit: The edited fight scene, I wanted to express the main character's expertise with the sword as well as her willingness to not bother with causing unnecessary pain: The muggers drew their own swords, mostly without proper hand-baskets, flecked with rust and in one notably grubby rogue’s hand, bent out of shape for two-thirds of the length, and charged her as one. This was hard, because she was now on one side of them. She dropped into a guard position, feinted and slashed one across the leg, downing him screaming in a very unmanly fashion. The next one she simply sidestepped and tripped, dropping to one knee and stabbing the third in the thigh, holding her buckler up to block any cuts at her wrist. She dropped and rolled forward, careful to keep her bow, slung over her back, as unaffected as possible, leaping halfway up a yard from where she previously was and smashing her sword lengthways, supported by her buckler, into the ankles of the last two, who were probably expecting her to be somewhere else. After they had fallen to the pavement, assisted by their forward momentum, she hit them both in the head, for good measure. She looked up at Homber, whose movement for the whole altercation had been minimal and who was watching the fight with that kind of disconnected interest of one who knew the outcome when it started. The leader, who had apparently regained some semblance of consciousness, groaned, “Homber… kill the fucker…” Homber shrugged to Lerussa - not worth it - and walked off down the street. Lerussa smiled, stood, dusted off her hands and left the groaning would-be gang in the middle of the Via, either to be picked up by the Guard or by one of the gangs that shared it.

Best fight scene advice I've found! As soon as it was over, I opened up a story I'd written with a fight scene in it, and rewrote it. 1000% immediate improvement. Thank you!

Actually structure like react-pause-act is really used in animation, where, for example, animating punch will be like: prepare for action - moving fist slightly backwards, then anticipation - some still frames and after that the action itself - quick burst of movement resulting in punch.

Hey! The wheel of time makes an appearance! I haven’t watched what you said about it yet, but that fight in the great hunt was BAD ASS. The second books conclusion in general was freakin amazing, but especially that fight.

Thank you so much hello future me for everything you do. I recently picked up your book and have been fallowing your channel for many years now and have finally started writing my own fiction novel the day before this video came out. coincidentally I am opening the novel with a fight scene so this couldn't have been a better timed video for me.

Dan reading the wheel of time sample of course 😂

I'm writing a book right now, and by chance the algorythm bought me this video just as I'm about to write a fight-heavy chapter. Thanks!!!

I really appreciate how you go into sentence-level tips here. Those video's can be hard to find.

I just want to thank you for this. Often, I can only find writing advice on the macro parts, but what I need far more often is micro writing advice.

Try writing out how the battle unfolds before writing. The geography, where the enemy is, tactics, POV, the goal of the scene. For me, this makes writing a battle much easier.

Fight scenes are something Matthew Reilly does really well, he makes absolute certain the reader understands the the layout of the evironment. He even implements diagrams of the setting and as a result it's easy to visualise the action.

I’ve just been reading the expanse! Love the books

Ok so this might be one of my fave videos from your channel? So informative!

With Dialog I was reminded of the fight scene between Dillen Hunt and Rade in the first episode of Andromeda, in which there is a point in the fight where Dillen is hiding behind a console re-configuring his lance while Radee monologues. Once Dillen is ready, he states 'You know what your problem is Rade, you talk to much." before throwing is lance now turned grenade and diving for new cover. Rade's chating gave Dillen time to setup his next move.

The "guidlines" line works so well as always

I have a couple of fight scenes and while shit, they have some decent structure. I also won't be able to watch the entire video right now. But I'll be back in a few hours. "None of her words are wasted on description." *Reads the descriptions of one of my characters* Red hair, similar to my MC, eyes like rings of honey topaz, curved eyebrows like a plank of warped wood. A small, almost cute nose, wide hips... Meanwhile, they are at a party with hundreds of people. And I've not described a single thing at the party. I think I'm compensating for the fact that I take in the environment IRL, and barely notice people exist until someone talks to me.

Good thing I started my morning with this video! I just got to a fight scene in my story today and this advice really helped me edit it down. Plus, if I need a break I can always come back to that quick-cut of Boromir taking arrows lol

I'm only listening to this while I'm at work and, because of the accent, I thought he was saying "Puppy War" until I finally looked over at the screen

The Red Rising trilogy has the BEST fight scenes I’ve ever read. Easy to follow, action-packed, emotionally impactful…they’re amazing. I’m surprised you haven’t mentioned anything from those books.

i was looking for this video last night, i genuinely thought you’d already filmed this before??? and now i wake up and you just uploaded the exact video i needed!!! wild shit!!! 👌👌👌

I absolutely adore your On Writing series (and the accompanying book) and I get so much out of it! Would you ever consider one day doing similar dives into the comic medium? While so much of what you teach in these videos is still enormously relevant to that medium, a huge deep-dive into handling something like a fight scene in a comic would be incredible. Slowing it down enough to keep the reader engrossed in the action (and aware of what's happening - comic fights can get REALLY confusing) while keeping it fast paced enough that they don't get bored and start to skim the illustrations is a hell of a balancing act. The story I intend to write will be a graphic novel series, and I want it to be a deeply engrossing story and world, something to be digested slowly - unfortunately, many graphic novels are very surface-level. It's hard to find compelling exemplars which reflect that. The kind of advice I long for on writing a still-picture visual medium is hard to come by as well. Often, if it is available, it's more suited to shallower, action-based, fast-paced superhero style comics, rather than a slow-to-medium pace. There's surprisingly little out there (that I've found, anyway) and you'd be an amazing person to fill that niche.

The fight between Bronn and Sir Vardis gave me goosebumps when I first read it. First time it ever happened.

I really liked you talking about a micro stuff. Not many people talk about it & it’s the most important part of the book as prose is the thing that publishers look for. If you ever hear a writer talking about how they wrote 5 or 6 books over 10 years until a book was excepted (10 years seems to the the average regardless of book count because for the average person it takes that long to work on their prose to a professional level

I think Shad from Shadiversity would like this video.

Hello Future Me talking about Brandon Sanderson!!!!!

Just in time! Thank you so much!!!

I needed this!! Thank you!!!

I have my own advice. The how of a fight scene depends entirely on the PoV. It's not the same if you're viewing the action from a neutral, ghost spectator view, from the perspective of a character not involved in the fight, the perspective of a combatant who is unskilled, a combatant who is skilled, etc. An unskilled or panicking fighter would see the action as a blur, a skilled fighter might not actually think about the actual fight going on, but actually be thinking about what his opponent is doing, where to strike, timing, cover, where the exits are and so on. "She began moving sideways to prompt an action from her opponent, spear in overhand grip. His eyes glanced at her right thigh, so she moved her shield rightwards, catching and glancing his trust to the side and stabbing at his inner elbow in one motion."

Daniel Greene reading wheel of time was a masterful choice.

Yes! The Videos are always exactly what I need right now.

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS SO MUCH! these are so helpful!!!!!

I am still waiting for anything how to train your dragon.

This will be real helpful for my books. My first book has a lot of fighting (sword fights, mostly). Later books will have magical fights and such, so I’m glad to have an official On Writing for this topic.

Excellent content!

This helped a lot. I realize I have a habit of getting lost in the details of fight scenes instead of just letting the reader's imagination do the work. I have more of an idea of what to look out for now.

I've been reading RA Salvatore for ideas on how to write fight scenes.

This is from a book I am writing that I am about to send to a publisher. It was one of my favorite fight scenes. I hope anyone who reads this likes it. Through the door, the thumping of the lumbering giant could be heard coming down the hall from the direction of the stairwell. Looks like I got here just in time. I slouched behind the half wall divider from his living area and his kitchenette. I could hear him unlock the door, swing it open and walk in. I readied myself as silently as I could. There was a pause. I couldn’t see him or his shadow. Did he hear me? What was he doing? After sometime I heard the door click behind him. He didn’t make a sound with his feet. Before I knew it, I saw him standing at the end of the divider. I started to raise my gun almost at the ready, but it was as if his arm were a bolt of lightning. It quickly struck down on my arms sending pain screaming its way into my head. I dropped the gun. A mistake I couldn’t afford to make. Scrambling the rest of the way to my feet he was turned to me. He recognized me right away. His eyes seemed to turn to slivers as his mouth twisted with glee. Either he was excited for another kill or he was happy that he was finally getting to kill me in particular. Either way I needed to act fast. Faster than I could think his other arm came around his orbit and landed on my stomach pushing out what air I had in my lungs. My arms flew to my gut trying to suppress the pulsing pain. I had to get control. I had to think fast. It can’t end here. My hand was already near my waist. With a quick grab I pulled the knife up and out in self defense. His next punch came for my face. My knife was in the way. The blade of the knife sunk itself into his fist down to his wrist splitting between his pointer and middle finger. This didn’t stop him. Expression unchanged he raised his other hand and brought it down on my head pushing me to the ground with its impact. The knife was stuck in his right hand and was able to support my weight. I made sure to not let go. I couldn’t let go of another weapon. Lifting his wounded fist he pulled me to my feet. This had me on my tip toes and a little off balance, which wasn’t good. I realized I was not fighting a man at this point, but a genuine monster. And this monster had me in his sights to kill. There was a hunger in his eyes that fiended for my blood, more than he already had. That one punch left a cut in my head that was already bleeding onto the floor. I didn’t want to have to clean this place. That’s if I survive through this night. He pulled the bleeding hand back to rear up for a punch, but I still wasn’t going to let go of the knife. Not until I could focus long enough to grab the gun. I could feel the grip of his fist tighten around the blade of the knife. With his hand raised above his head, he brought me close enough to wheeze what he had to say into my face. It seemed he was just enduring the pain to try and show me how weak I was. How age has started to define me. I couldn’t let that happen. “Ever since the day I met you, I’ve been looking forward to killing you.” His Russian accent was very thick but his english was better than most native speakers. “They said you were dead, but now I’m happy to know that you survived so that I can kill you myself.” “Don’t get your hopes up,” I spat in his face. There was some blood in my spit. “I thought you would be more of a challenge considering your training and experience. I wish you were still in your prime, Comrade.” Then I could see that chat time was over. His fist came down on the top of my head but all I could feel was the blunt edge of the knife hitting me in the side of the head. The blood from his hand splash onto my face. I couldn’t tell just by feeling alone if my blood was also running down my face. But considering the injuries I’ve taken on I was more than certain I was going to lose consciousness soon if I couldn’t change the tide of this fight.

I like the idea that an opponent would only leave room to talk once they have guaranteed their victory. Some sword sways while the protagonist trys to sway the antag with words. They reply with a short no or another flurry of the blade. Once they have the guy pinned they say, " Now you may speak your last words."

Exactly what I needed to hear. Your videos never fail to be great.

I just wrote a fight scene where the main character of my book attaches himself to a car with a grappling hook and heelies to get a bag of stolen money from the trunk. It feels worded clumsily but I hope this video will help it work out.

I've always found fight scenes pretty easy, but I prefer to mix & match sentence length. Cause & effect just seem like common sense.

This is brilliant! Thank you so much for making this!

This video is everything I was looking for, thank you so much :)

Just finished writting my exam in Econ, hoped I could watch some Hello Future Me videos to unwind. Litteraly less then one minute into the video: Micro and Macro dimension Why is the life so cruel? :(

Avengers Endgame: sleeping in their desk Me: Scribbles notes furiously

Thank you so much for making this it has helped me so much in my writing

Enlightening as always.

26:16 Using The Princess Bride as an example of what not to do? That's a paddlin'

To think that nobody has watched the entirety of the video yet. Wow.

These videos are fantastic and crazy helpful

your channel is a gem. its unreal to me how good it is

about the part about the action and internalization parts of fights... DO NOT DO IT LIKE IN ANIME!! *has a flashback of Naruto...

6:10 Your accent really through me off here for a second. Had to listen to that again to make sure you didn't misspeak.

Thank you for making this video ! Tears of relief are running down my face.

Thank you for the teaching!