SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME that you should check out Curiosity Stream at curiositystream.com/hellofutureme and use my code ;) Also I looked damn good in that photo and none of you will convince me otherwise. Welcome to 2020 people. What's your tip for writing first person? Let the games begin. Stay nerdy! ~ Tim

Tim: Now you're here so you're probably already considering using first person. Me: Oh God no. I don't write, I just like your videos.

I now want a version of twilight where Bella is simply a bored newscaster describing the day.

Holy crud, you actually got through an entire On Writing episode without making a single Avatar: the Last Airbender reference!

My favorite line from Twilight is “back to you Jim.”

Me: Ok, time to start writing my first person perspective story today Tim: uploads a video about first person Me: IS THIS FATE?!?

“But hey, speaking of Robert Pattinson, if we ever need someone to tell us to open a mysterious golden egg in a bathtub, we know who to go to.”

The djinn in The Bartimaeus Trilogy has probably one of the most interesting uses of first-person that I've ever read (footnotes!) and the trilogy as a whole really sticks the landing.

Easy cop out for soft magic systems that will still feel the way they should: Describe how the magic FEELS, and the method through which the user actually taps into it. For example, the elemental magic system I use in my novels, with Storm Energy: I felt a storm brew above me and called it’s energy to me. As I absorbed more of the tempest high above, I also felt that tempest rise inside myself. Soon enough, my arms tingle with barely contained electrical power; lightning trapped in a bottle. I let a grin split my face and heard an undertone of thunder as I spoke, my voice low. “You’re about to wish you had never crossed my path... But it’s too late for you now. All of you.” And with that, I allowed the energy to scream out of my arms, and watched as it leapt from soldier to soldier.

MYSTERIOUS COLORS UNLIKE ANY SEEN ON EARTH

I clicked here because of Edith Finch mentioning "What remains of Edith Finch" is my favorite game of all time, it deserves so much more attention

"You're here so you're probably already considering using first person." Me, who's just booted up minecraft after a long day of work during which I was lowkey constantly occupied w/ about my dissatisfaction w/ my many story concepts and my lack of emotional attachment to any of them: o yeah, writing, I'm. Thinking about doing that.

If you'd like to talk about Robert Pattinson, you should talk about his performance in The Lighthouse. It was brilliant. And so is the writing in that movie. It was one of my favorites.👌👍 I'm so glad ur back Tim.

My favourite first person story is "Hangman" by Jack Heath. It's about a detective who is hiding the fact that he is a cannibal. Being able to see such a close view of his thought process and mental struggles is incredibly engaging and strangely allows you to sympathies with him in a way that a third person perspective would struggle to achieve. I absolutely recommend this book, and there's a sequel too. Fun times, yay for cannibals.

Can we all agree that no matter what "person" you write in, it's all hard. Great video, opened my eyes on first person writings and authors.

I woke up and saw this vid, it must be a sign that today is going to be a good day

Oh man, this is the video I’m praying for a long time. Good job, Tim. PS: That OSP meme reference was so unexpected that I just laughed out loud.

12:59 OSP Reference

“Twilight altered by Tim Hickson” I can see this becoming a thing.

I'm stunned at how much of this I already use intuitively (like using First person for subjective and emotionally-heavy moments for already established characters and narrowing perspectives) without understanding logically how it works. Thanks! I hope that now that I *know* how it works I can streamline the process without resorting to guessing. PS. As a sidenote: if you're familiar with roleplaying, deep-diving into the character actually helps! First-person writing is quite close to roleplaying.

19:11 This sentence made my day. 7:43 Exactly: the problem with Twilight is Stephanie Meyer herself. In my opinion, the only way Bella could become a compelling character is if you are a socially awkward, mentally ill person and project a lot of yourself on her: exactly what I did. My connection with her is completely artificial (12:45) and I fully understand why most people don't like her.

8:19 Beautiful editing! Couldn’t tell the difference. It looks just like you.

CAN'T believe you got away with that Shrek clip and sliding into the next tip so smoothly

The monogatari series I think could be a good example of unreliable narrators and first person character voices.

17:06 I thought he was going to say Raid shadow legends. Honestly though amazing video, it makes me think more about how I write my stories and might make me write in first person more

Slightly disappointed at the lack of Riordan discussion xD

The Shrek reference made me wish I could give this video a like rating twice

....dear god you actually made me question everything. Can the undead actually have sex? Maybe just really bad sex.

Thanks for all your tips, Tim! I'm currently in the midst of writing a story told by two different first person narrators, and I'm trying to differentiate between their voices, and to capture different parts of the story through their eyes. This video certainly gives me food for thought in how to do so!💖📚📝

The first thing you find out when yer dog starts to talk is that dogs don't got nothing much to say. The Knife of Never Letting Go is such a good book.

Knowing how much Percy Jackson's "Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood" lives rent-free in my head, I must admit "Confessions make fantastic opening lines" is one of the truest statements ever spoken.

alright, I found it within the first minute and my first reaction to this is therefore: YEAS! FIRST PERSON!

This was SOOO GOOD! Thank you so much for this! I can read two lines and tell which one sounds better, but you give detailed explanations to how and why. You're awesome!

I appreciate the content HFM. The topic of POV is an underrated topic--so, thank you for putting together this work of art.

Hey! Non-patron, random viewer, request: Do a video about writing a fictional biospheres I need a _"Biology is complicated"_ clip for professional reasons...

This is very helpful for my creative writing class. Thank you very much, and I’m glad I found this video the day it was uploaded. Also you’ve gotten another subscriber :)

Spinning Silver does character voice so well! And I'm only able to appreciate it after watching through this ♥️

8:24 Wait... that's REALLY a quote from the book?

Hi Hello Future Me, I love your videos, and I enjoy hearing your interpretations and analysis of different stories. AVATAR IS THE BEST SHOW EVER! I was watching one of your videos, and per your advice, I started watching (and subsequently binged) Full Metal Alchemist. The show was incredible (albeit very dark at some points) and blew my mind. Especially the very deep all-about-human-nature-y last few episodes. I went back to your channel to see some of your commentaries about the show and am in shock/disbelief that I could hardly find anything. PLEASE make videos about this awesome show

There's an interesting sub-category to third-person that essentially emulates the rules of first-person, the most obvious example being Harry Potter. The Harry Potter books (aside from each first chapter) could've easily been written in first-person without any changes to the structure or plot, and only minimal changes to the passages themselves. Harry is with us through every scene, and we're granted access into his head but not those of anyone else. Would be interested in seeing an analysis of this choice.

3rd person limited I think has most of the benefits of 1st person. Yes it adds psychic distance and isn't as close up as 1st person but also gives the story a air of mystery when you choose to increase psychic distance. Filtering through the characters lense happens in both. 3rd person limited is different from 3rd person omniscient.

I absolutely love the first person as I generally find myself more interested in the actual characters than in the story itself. This stems from a theory on writing (though I can't for the life of me remember where I picked this up) that basically boils down to the idea that if you develop the characters well enough the writer essentially becomes the person behind the camera watching the story unfold and picking which shots to use. A mental exercise I use in relation to this is to simply take whatever situation I find myself to be in throughout my day and ask myself "What would this character do in this scenario?". The idea, for me, is that if the characters are interesting enough it doesn't particularly matter what they're doing, it'll still be interesting. @16:48 I call this "shopping list syndrome" and it's a bit of a flag for an amateur writer when overused (overused being the key word here) because it's one of the ways we tend to learn how to write in the first place. Avoid this by re-working paragraphs to largely avoid starting two sentences with the same word then extend this to the rest of the page as best you can. It's a simple little fix that can make your writing sound less repetitive (use this for certain words and phrases within your sentences too!) but don't get bogged down doing this on your first draft either if it doesn't come naturally to you: it's a writing muscle you'll develop over time so doing an editing pass specifically for this is perfectly fine.

Great video! I love how you gave tips on writing in first person. I used to hate the idea of writing in first person in my creative works, but I've come to accept that it sometimes helps put the reader in the shoes of the protagonist and can be a really useful tool

I just realized that even though I've watched dozens of videos from this channel over the course of months and followed Hello Future Me on twitter, I wasn't actually subscribed and have only found these videos through youtube recommendations and twitter. How?!

How interesting that I found this video the day after beginning a novel in first person. My prose is very lavish, because the protagonist begins the story illiterate and he's writing his account of his life years after it all, having self-educated himself. I can see him sitting by a device with a theasaurus beside him! His dialogue will slowly change as the story progresses. He goes on tangents describing things a bit considering he's talking about the past and now knows what different words on a sign mean, can properly describe his feelings, and remember details he may have not have noticed back then. A lot will be mentioned about his mother in the first half. A lot will be mentioned about fear and doubt in the second half. I figure the further he gets into the story, the less he'll spend time on talking about his moments with a character dear to his heart who will die by his own hand. Good point about those psychic deviance words. I'll look out for them.

So glad I’m able to watch it, been waiting and checking constantly for the new video

I love that you quote positive examples a lot. It's so inspiring!

One thing I always bring up about Bella's (lack of) character is that it's, to an extent, intentional. Bella was not a character meant to have her own agency, she was meant as an easy spot to replace. The point of a book like Twilight and a character like Bella is to have readers imagine or wish they were the focus, that they were the subject of affection and quarrel between multiple beautiful and devoted potential partners. In a way, it's a first person narrative filling the purpose of a second person narrative. Granted I didn't actually _read_ Twilight, I just know this typically happens with stories like this.

I loved this video! I'm in the middle of redrafting my novel with two first person narrations. This video (and the rest of your writing and worldbuilding videos) have helped to reframe my thinking and inspired my to write a more in-depth, compelling tale.

Tim. I just arrived at this video. Dude, it is AWESOME. I just, had the biggest mindblown (and then subsecuently felt stupid for not realizing it by myself) when you described the way of writing by focusing on "the thing that your character sees, and the thing that he doesn't". I all fell together. And i love it. Seriously. If you ever read this, thank you.

0:47 “Now, you’re here, so you’re probably already considering using first person.” No, no, not at all. I just watch all of your videos. 🤗🤗🤗

Part of what helps The Name of the Wind is the brief dips back into third person, which juxtaposes the voice of Kvothe, and allows for a little extra exposition that is necessary, but doesn't make sense for kvothe to tell in the story. The interludes do have other purposes as well, but these relate directly to the first person perspective.

When Edward delivers exposition, I call it expatterson.

Removing filter words is often effective in third-person as well. It ties into the wider issue of "viewpoint intrusion," where in an attempt to remind the reader of the narrator's point of view, they actually get in the way of telling the story.

Something I'd really love to hear you talk about (because it's in a similar vein) is how to write a story from multiple shifting POVs, a la Game of Thrones or The Heroes of Olympus. Your tips on character voice have been so helpful already because nobody has given me good insight as to what a character voice is supposed to sound like, and I finally understand it well enough I can try to create different voices for each of my characters during their POV chapters, but learning how to balance, pace, and use my shifting POV chapters effectively will really help light a fire under my storytelling.

I appreciate this video in showing me not only how to write effective 1st Person Narrative, but also comparing it to 3rd Person, as that is the form I most often use, and I gained valuable insights into how I can write more good. Sorry for not writing good right now, my brain is very very tired.

Never stop making these man

That was so absolutely helpful. I've watched probably 15 videos on 1st person writing and none of them comes close

16:50 this is really interesting. I've been told so many times that changing tenses was bad and confusing, so I ALWAYS went through and "fixed" passages that read similarly to your edit to more resemble the original quote. Now that I see you doing it, I can see that you're very right, and using tenses to describe the order of actions can go a long way to make things read more smoothly.

"But hey, speaking of Robert Pattison, let's talk about exposition!" *blends in that one scene where he strips in front of that Italian church* "No, not that kind of exposition." Dunno, that's the only joke that came to mind...

“Speaking of Robert Pattinson, our new Batman, let’s get into the primary use of thought bubbles in every Batman comic! Exposition~”

Awesome video and a great start to the new year! Keep up the good work Tim!

"Beacon 23" by Hugh Howey is my favorite first person novel right now, it's an "old man alone in a lighthouse" story that flawlessly navigates PTSD, isolation, and forgiveness in a believable manner.

these videos are always so well put together this was amazing ;D

A great video about first person narratives in general, as well as a great video about voice. So much of what I see about voice doesn't give clear examples of what voice actually means, and a lot of people end up struggling with figuring out how to give a character a voice because of that. Giving examples of how it colors the way a character views the world is very helpful, and I'll be sure to direct people here when I see people struggling with that.

Hey found you thanks to another KZfaqr, but I just wanted to say that you're a great teacher and have really helped me get better at writing. I've actually learned more from you in one video than a semester at my University which I really find both hilarious and sad

I was planning on writing a story in 3rd person, but I think that this video really persuaded me to use 1st person. I was only watching this in the first place because I am trying to watch all of your writing and worldbuilding videos.

First of all, thank you Tim for not only making such great content but also making it accessible. Your videos are by far the best on KZfaq in the "teach writing" genre, and as a uni student I can't really afford any other option on a different note, (mostly addressed to fellow fans of Tim's work) Can you reference to a trustworthy review/er about software for writing? (preferably including free-cheap options) It's really hard for me to keep my notes and "wiki" properly organised so I figured looking into digital tools to overcome this. I would prefer hearing your own thoughts on the matter, but I know there are plenty of reasons for you not to delve into product reviews, especially since this channel is focused on the writing itself. But you are one of the only writing teachers (not sure how to call this) that I find genuinely wanting to help make good stories and better authors, and knows what your'e talking about. It's really hard avoiding sponsored reviews these days and too many "10 rules every writer must follow or they will be murdered by the Illuminati secret sub-division of book editors" kind of KZfaqrs to find actual good advice

Robin McKinley frequently does a really excellent job of balancing soft magic systems with an intensely psychological focus on only one character (even when she's writing in the third person). There's often a surreal or dreamlike quality to her work, and her characters often have a realistically fragmented sense of what's going on around them, so they are slightly unreliable POV characters. It's quite lovely.

Kvothe in the Kingkiller Chronicle is a good example of the character describing, through a first-person perspective, experiencing both hard and soft magic systems. The hard magic system, Sympathy, is very carefully laid out, and grounded in real-world physics that the audience understands. Kvothe uses his almost unrivaled understanding of this system to move the story forward. However, there are two much softer magic systems that Kvothe encounters and uses: Naming, and the magic found in the Fae world (Glamour? I can't remember what it's called). Author Patrick Rothfuss makes this work by making these soft magic systems beyond Kvothe's comprehension. Kvothe is a very logically and academically inclined character, and neither of these soft systems can be 'worked out' by just thinking about it hard enough. When Kvothe does use either of these soft systems, he has no control over them, and the sense of wonder you expect from a soft magic system is preserved.

"Vitamin D deficient Cedric Diggory" 😂

1 perspective is so hard, but also good to write. As you write by the perspective of your character, you are forced to really put his shoes. This make a really interesting exercise.

I grew up reading novels in first person. In fact, the first series that really grabbed my attention when i was little was The Percy Jackson series. So, now adays, i still continue to prefer first person over third, and especially over third-omniscient. I didn't realize until recently that the majority of readers like myself, don't prefer first person like I do

Watching your videos repeatedly help me do the two things I love the most... Being a Dungeon Master for my friends and writing the stories for my comic book series lol :D

That was awesome. Much appreciated. can you also make a video exploring multiple first-person narrators and the pros and cons of having them. Examples I can think of our Game of Thrones, Sword of Truth, Outlander (in the later books more so)

I'm writing a very character driven story, so this is super helpful information. Thanks for making such beneficial and educational videos!

By watching this going forward, I'm going to use this as a guide for my story. Since I'm going on without too much planning, I can't waste my time editing my first couple of chapters, but I can at least go forward better now that I know how to do first pov better

The quality of the videos on this channel is something I aspire too. You must put soooooo much time into these videos.

While I can see the merit of consolidation, I've always considered filter words and "I"s to be more stylistic, a way to create character voice. They do create more psychic distance between the reader and the character and that's not always a bad thing. In reading first person, which I hate, I do get sucked in so much I feel "too close" so when I've written it I've appreciated anything that creates a bit more distance. In the passages you reference, the "I"s and filter words seem to create a rhythm and cadence, like in poetry, and add beats to break up the flow. It came across as deliberate. "I"s speak to emotion: think "I statements". It brings the reader back to what the character is feeling, which is important when a person is expressing their own experience. First-person is the epitome of someone telling (a story of) their own experience. Also, when stating one's feelings on a particular matter - "I feel this was said angrily..." - it opens the door to it being an opinion instead of a truth, allowing for other perspectives to also be valid. Facts/feelings. Stated words in the now vs the time separation of feeling words, an experience filtered through the emotion, could be a female vs male perspective. The way Meyer's wrote it could be a choice to make the character speak from a heroine's pov, rather than a hero. Maybe sometimes it is just bad writing, in the case of authors who aren't aware enough to deliberately make the choice, being the mark of an amateur. Or maybe it's a choice based on medium and what the author wants to convey, what they want the reader to feel. Love your channel. I take notes on your videos an awful lot. I'm really not criticizing, just nitpicking, and having a chat. :)

You should do a video on the 2nd person narrative too. I don't know too many stories written in second person, so it'd be cool to see what you find. Love your vids btw! I've been sharing you around the avatar Reddit page too

I almost choked on my colonial tea with that intro. Thanks bro. XD

I think my three favorite 1st person narratives/narrators are Lestat from Anne Rice's (early) vampire novels, Grendel from John Gardner's eponymous book retelling Beowulf from Grendel's point of view, and Loki from The Gospel According to Loki by Joanne Harris which retells Norse mythology through Loki's eyes. Lets just say, I love the unreliable narrator concept, and I even like to apply it to 3rd person works which have a framing story of being written by one of the characters (like The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, and the Silmarillion). Just brings such a richness to the world and the inability to actually KNOW anything for certain. Makes it feel more real, since there is so much in the real world that we just can't know either.

As someone who writes fantasy novels with magical based MCs. You can write magic in first person. Instead of writing the action, you write the feeling of magic, or what it feels like to use magic. You can also add how it is going to be used and you can write in how to person prepares the spell.

I think this was a much needed video to give a tip on writing. I noticed a lot of mistakes that i made for first person perspectives and realize what i should have done instead for better reveals and impacts in my story.

My favorite first-person narrative, neither SF nor fantasy, is the Quiller spy fiction written by Elliston Trevor writing as Adam Hall. The first-person choice kicks the action into a level of high-stakes suspense unachievable in any other way.

I love your videos on writing. I’m going to give you an advise for film: use a softer light. A softer light will make your videos appear more natural.

You can’t “control” what readers infer but, you can give them a canvas to image on.

I read Twilight (we all have that thing we regret from when we were young) and honestly forgot that it was in first person.

VERY good video. I've struggle bussed every time I've tried to write first person. One REALLY good first person series that I've read is the Red Rising series by Pierce Brown. Far flung future setting, very good stuff. The main character, Darrow's, evolution throughout the first trilogy is very easily tracked through the way each is written. Without spoiling anything, the way Darrow's inner voice sounds makes it very clear that he's a different sort than almost everyone around him in book 1 and against him all throughout. Then in the second part, despite there being several POV characters (who are each distinct enough to tell one from the other if you were to open to any given page), you start out in Darrow's POV again, and you can immediately feel the toll that the 10 years between book 3 and 4 have taken on him. Really really well done. (Also, highly recommend the series; the first one Red Rising is like the Hunger Game of Thrones, with all the rest continuing that sort of tone. And to go on a tangent - THAT SKYWARD COVER IS SO GOOOOOD! Seriously, the US one isn't near that good...

Thank you for a great video! I'm writing a novel in first-person present tense at the moment, so this was perfect timing. I've had to deal with all the issues you've described at various points, so this has been really helpful. Oh, and your book has a special place in my Kindle too. I'm two-thirds through now and loving it.

That last bit was *SO* informative. Thank you so much Tim!!!

A way to get around the use of Soft magic, is have aspects in the story that has impeded the character from using said magic for a long time, whether it be plot reasons, or personal reasons. Where the character now has to use said magic again for the story to proceed, but maybe struggles with summoning the power or having to relearn aspects, or even getting an inner view of how it feels for them to finally use said power again.

Another very imformative video. Thanks man!

Love your description I was searching for information like this, thanks a lot. Sadly I can’t imagine to write the book I have in mind in German, It is so much better in English almost everything, but my English is simply not good enough. Its amazing how you describe this different aspects

N.K. Jemisin's Broken Earth books do a really interesting thing in telling the story in 2nd person and present tense. It's a bit jarring at first but really helps put the reader in the main character's mind

The Peter Grant/Rivers of London series do soft magic into a hard magic system from first person really well!

I think point number two is especially important in stories where you have multiple first-person narratives - it allows the different narratives to sound like different people. It would have been nice to see some Game of Thrones examples, or something from a similar book.

Could you continue this with third person and second person. Third person is often seen as the go to narrative perspective, but as I write I would like to know more about it. What are it’s qualities and how do you use it well. How do I write in ways which feel both distant and close or other things pertaining to third person. Also, I personally find myself desiring to know more about second person. It really intrigues me because I know so little. I love that you are creating videos on very fundamental concepts. Post Script: hopefully after the aforementioned videos, could you create videos on character/character arcs as well as plot/plot structure? All I can find are “tips and tricks: five ways to write a character,” but it is very difficult to find your in-depth analysis. Additionally, your quality of work is masterful and I find your content entertaining, and inspiring. You have helped me personally so much, you have no idea, thank you. Post, Post Script: I am a huge nerd and could you create a video on constructed languages (conlang) in books.

I didn't realize I needed this video as much as I did

1:55 Funnily, I just finished reading Skyward last night and was thinking about it during the start of the video.