Caitlin, my daughter was stillborn. She died on the 28th February and wasn’t born until the 5th of March. As you know a “corpse” in a bad of water for 5 days wouldn’t be in a very good condition..add to that she was only 26 weeks gestation. The midwives plonked this body on my bed that was basically in a bread basket.They told me to be careful because her body was fragile and left me alone. I had no one with me. I tried to hold her, to move her. Her skin tore before my eyes and traumatised me. Some fluid leaked from her nose. I dabbed it with a tissue ( which I kept). When it was time to leave I covered her body with a blanket to “hide the damage I had done to her body”. I kept the tissue. Through watching your videos I have been able to let go of the guilt and shame I had of what I felt I had done to her body. I see that what happened was natural to a body in her circumstances. You’ve healed me. I cherish that tissue with her fluid on as a “mummy lovingly cleaning her babies nose”. My mum died 21 years ago. She wanted to be buried in a field and a tree planted on her. Her body was one of the first in a new woodland burial site. We planted an oak on her plot and today a forest grows there. It’s beautiful. My only issue ,was I wish I had known that we could have chosen an outfit for her as she was buried in her PJs. Thank you for all you do and all you advocate for. Hope this is readable as I’m having trouble editing! I’m no techy person, lol

When my husband was killed in a car accident his corneas were donated. I later recieved a letter saying that because of his donation, two people had their sight returned. It was very comforting to know that something positive came out of his death.

Thank you for those who donate. I had to have a tumor taken out of my knee tibia to be precise. It was a very rare tumor inside my bone. They cut a square of my bone out and put in a replacement. The piece was from a cadaver. A person who donated their bones. I don't know who they were but I really appreciate not having a tumor or a huge hole in my bone!

My son was assaulted last year, he lasted 1 day in hospital before being declared brain dead. Because it was a homicide he had to have a full autopsy, which included an examination if his brain to ascertain that he was a healthy young man who died as a result of his injuries. We are a maori family in NZ, and culturally, we bring our family home for 3 days where we celebrate their lives with friends and family, we also are very hands on at the funeral home, dressing and handling the body ourselves. This was quite confronting with my boy as he was covered in big stitches from neck to navel, and head, spine and sholderblades, sigh.... but home us where we wanted him. Culturally, when I body is back, they are to never be left alone, someone is always with them, it really is such a beautiful celebration! But it was the height of summer, and because my boy had so many invasive wounds, he secreted alot, and by the last day he was weeping quite a bit and his skin had started to shift due to the autopsy. Because we loved our boy, we had no issue in keeping him looking handsome for all his visitors, and in the times it was just family, we had the funeral directors touching him up. We were told of what might happen, but we didnt care, to us it was all done with great love and respect, and made a shitty situation quite beautiful. ❤

I am an RN. Years of experience in emergency departments and hospice. My aunt, Tammy, was killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. The police department delivered her jewelry that she was wearing at the time of the accident. My whole family was there at the time. The police officer calmly explained that he was not at liberty to clean the items and that there was blood, tissue, and hair on them. Most of my family freaked out. I took the bag and thanked the officers. I immediately went into the bathroom and cleaned everything up. For me, it was one last thing I could do for her. I felt honored to be able to take care of her in such an intimate way. I also felt honored to do this for her daughter, who wanted the jewelry. It was something that I could do in a time of feeling a supreme lack of control.

I love how Caitlin mixes humor into such a morbid topic. You gotta love this woman!

"Bodies just don't wake themselves." Look. If the body wakes, I'm so outta here. lol

My dad died four years ago, in surgery for cancer. Due to the cancer/chemo/radiation, most of his organs and tissue weren't viable. But his corneas were good! They're not connected to any blood supply, so they're unaffected by anything in your bloodstream. It makes me happy to know that he was able to give that final gift to someone.

By the way Caitlin, my 9 year old Harmony watches your videos with me, and while on a family trip to New Orleans in September last month, she spotted drain openings on the back of a mausoleum and proceeded to explain to my husband and her siblings that they have drainage and ventilation systems, and “that’s why mausoleums don’t stink.” So proud!

My Mom died in the afternoon, and about Midnight, the Eye Bank called, and asked if I would donate her corneas. My reply was, "Well, she's not using them anymore. Sure" So someone was given the gift of sight. I was comforted knowing that.

Hey Caitlin, I’ve had 3 cornea transplants. 1 each side and a redo of one. Thank you so much to people that left me these gifts. To the family’s left behind, I don’t know how to put into words how grateful I I am to your loved one, their gift helps me so so much. I still need a guide dog, as the corneas will keep getting the disease back, but to every family of the donors of my corneas ❤️ I can’t imagine your pain but know part of that person is living with me

thank you to organ donors everywhere! I have cadaver cells helping to keep me alive, and I can only hope I continue to live in a way that would make my deceased donors proud.

My mom died in my bed. It was the only place she could get comfortable in her last hours, so I was happy for her to have it. (She'd slept in a recliner for a decade due to back problems.) I'd been cleaning up blood and pee and poop and puke for a month, so it wasn't a big thing. The hospice nurse happened to be there when she died, and was more freaked out about it than I was. After I said goodbye and Mom went off to her direct cremation, I cleaned up the bed (just a little post-mortem pee), sprayed it with an enzyme cleaner, dried it out, flipped the mattress...and I've been sleeping on it every night since. So, yeah. Pretty sure I could handle it.

I took care of my grandparents when they were dying, and one of the last acts I did for my grandma was to shave her legs. She already had the dress she wanted buried in picked out and I knew she hated not having her legs clean shaven even in a long dress. So I was a nurse and took a wash basin home and shaved her legs for her. We didn't have a home funeral because we lived a few houses down from the funeral home and my parents grew up with the lady that now owned the family funeral home so we were close to them. Like a family member almost. But it was a weird thing to say "Grandma, let's sit up, I'm going to shave your legs." She would have never asked me cuz she thought that was too intimate and a chore but I knew my Grandma and that she hated the thought of wearing a dress with unshaven legs. So yeah it was a little awkward but I think Grandma was very happy that I did that for her. She slept very well that night. Just thought I'd share.....

I just want you to know that I wander around unintentionally saying bentham's head several times a day and it's driving people insane

How incredibly informative! I had NO IDEA a family member could override organ donation wishes! I’m a donor - little sticker on my license- and my daughter has said “ I’d never let them take your organs!!” To which I reply they are of zero use to a dead body. But I never realized a family had the power! Thank you for the info!

Your videos helped me deal with my terminal chronic illness so much. I still have a good couple of years in front of me, but nobody wanted to talk about my death with me, seeing as I am 27 and my Loved ones are still freaking out. With your help I managed to set up my death plan and talked it through with my fiance and parents. It took a lot of pressure of me, because I couldn't stand the thought of them having to deal with that on top of everything. Thank you for bringing us some calm ♥️

I cleaned up my dad while he was sick and dying because he could not . What difference would it make to clean up after he passed? I think if you are squeamish , it would be the same reaction , before and after.

Could I have a home funeral dressed as a vampire with a real stake in my heart? While the rest of my family is dressed like vampire hunters? If that is a thing...sign me up.

My dad passed last year and we didn’t know he was an anatomical donor. Only his corneas were good and now because of his donation somebody can see again and a little piece of him lives on. He was always the type to help others and he managed to help one last person even after he was gone.

I feel like I could wipe it up. These videos have helped a lot in realising death is messy and natural and not at all like it's portrayed in media.

So here I am eating dinner, thinking about my dad’s potential organ donation blood oozing out. Doing great. On a serious note, I would be able to wipe up the blood. I think it’s a beautiful way to repay her for cleaning up all the messes I made as a kid.

When you donate your corneas it's one of the best things to do, they are universal and don't go bad!

I work in a laboratory that processes organ donations. I never knew before getting the job how many things can be actually donated. Whole arms and legs, tissue, whole eyes at times, pelvises etc. Great video as usual. Very informative.

I think it would depend on who I am cleaning up after. I could see me cleaning up my mother, my in-laws, or another loved one. That would be a loving act that I could get through for them. I don't think I would emotionally be able to do that for one of my kids. I want to say that I could, but it would be too much.

When my Mom died in the hospital my sister and I cleaned and dressed her before the funeral home came to take her for cremation. Things weren't exactly all peachy, and there were some leaking situations and a bedsore. Leakage and drips weren't an emotional problem at all for us. It was a gift to her, a ritual to say goodbye and that we loved her. That we were sorry that these things had caused her pain, and we were taking care of it for her. I'd been living in the hospital for a month, and almost just left from the grief of finally losing her, but my sister suggested we prepare her and looking back it was emotionally very important to me. Honestly, I recommend it. I mean, I'm crying writing this comment and it's of course a very bittersweet memory, but I still recommend it.

A distant relative, I might be able to clean up after. My mother or children, I might lose what tenuous hold I had on sanity at that point.

whenever I want to cheer myself up, I just say, "Benthams's head!" while struggling to mimic how it's said on your videos..and i smile like a maniac, feeling crazy :D

My siblings and I cared for both my parents at home. My dad first. He had an infection in his hip that was slowly and painfully eating his leg. Every day we had to clean up dead tissue and drainage. We desposed of this with a daily bonfire in the back yard. The funeral home took care of embalming but we brought him back to the house for a three day wake. My Mom's death was not as messy. She did put on a dress rehearsal party for her wake so she could see what she would look like in the casket.

A dear friend of mine, and many others, sadly took his own life in 2014. A bullet through the skull. I still remember it well. I wasn't the one to find him, but I was one of a very few helping with the cleanup. The particular wall in his bedroom was an absolute mess. I got right to it, scrubbed, scraped, and scalded my way through blood, skull fragments, and brain matter. I was able to separate my love for him, and the job that I knew needed to be done. So, I did it. And, it wasn't impossible. Hard, but not impossible. Death is sad, and suicide is certainly something that needs to be talked about more. I grew a lot, from that experience. I'll always miss him, of course. But if death can teach us something about ourselves in the cleanup and grieving process, then let's learn. I love this channel so much.

"Can you still take that body home?" ".....HECK YEAH!" I died.

I was about 15 when my grandmother was on hospice. She was set up in a hospital bed in my aunts living room. She was there for about a month before she passed. To this day I often think about how my family cared for her. In the week that we visited her, my mom would help my aunts with turning and bathing. My mom was a daughter-in-law to my grandma, but took part because she is a respiratory therapist. She worked at a children’s hospital at the time, so it was a very different experience for her. I am now a nurses aid and have worked both in a hospital and nursing home. I am very grateful for getting to have that time with my grandma on hospice and wishing that I had been old enough to feel comfortable providing cares myself. I honor my grandma with every patient I take care of today and in the future.

I really want to say "Nah, I can wipe up any putrid fluids dead Mamadukes drips out" but I honestly believe during that period of enormous grief I personally couldn't handle it. Love the concept of a home funeral, I'm thinking we need home funeral doulas that could help with those little details that might not phase people who aren't emotionally attached to the corpse that's leaking.

Morbid as it is, the more you work with bodies and bodily fluids, the more comfortable you get dealing with them. I did the hospice care for my dad, and I'm now primary caretaker for my mom. I initially offloaded the ... bathroom cleanup ... of dad to my nephew (who though he'd be okay with that part, where I was uncomfortable). But, as the nephew was more freaked out than I was, it ended up with me eventually going "Sorry, dad." and just handling all the things. I was the one that sat up through the night while dad passed, so he wouldn't be alone. And it was ... fine. Surprisingly okay, in fact. When he finally passed, I called the hospice people, the funeral home, my siblings and mom, and then I went and made cookies. So, if I had to clean something icky up after a parent ... well, maybe I'll put on gloves so nothing gets under my nails, but it wouldn't phase me. On the other claw, I can see my sisters absolutely freaking out. Familiarity breeds comfort, I think. Or at least detachment.

My mom passed in 2007. She requested cremation long before that. I spent 8 weeks in the ICU with her, I slept in the waiting room. My mom had a wound vac on her elbow because a bursa removal surgery did not heal and was open to the bone. She started having severe abdominal pain and was diagnosed with diverticulitis, and perforated bowel. She had surgery as soon as they could safely do it. My mom was on immunosuppressant drugs for severe Rheumatoid arthritis. After a week in the hospital she was transferred to the ICU because she had MRSA, she had it in her respiratory system, they think it was contracted during surgery or right after. We had to dress in full PPE to be in the room with her. She had 4 drains for the infection, a brand new colostomy bag and right before she went into the ICU and I started never leaving the hospital, a nurse insisted my mother stand and walk to a chair. She was having mobility issues before all of this. She was so weak, she stood and immediately fell, tearing a huge gash in her shin, around to her calf. (I told the hospital that if said nurse came near my mother again, I would own them) she now had 2 wound vacs, 4 drains, colostomy bag, and catheter. But I sat with her and did her nails, I would get the stuff from the wonderful aides and give her a bath. Put lotion on her skin. They had her on IV antibiotics for MRSA, we had to keep the room dark, cool and the IV bags had to be covered with a foil protector for keeping out light and trying to keep steady temperature. Those days, were a lot of work. We had messes and accidents but I wouldn't change it for a minute. When my mom passed, I am the one who unhooked all of the monitors and wires and took care of her IV and washed her up, I did her hair for her and got her all ready to go. She was still leaking from the 2 wounds and where the drains had been, leaked a little, too. They had been out for a while but, you know...leaks. I never felt it was gross or anything like that. I live in Michigan but they were sending my mom to Chicago for cremation. I still wanted those last moments with her and they actually helped me with the grieving process. She was a remarkable woman. Thank you for sharing with us Caitlin. ❤

With my grandmother, I could see having to clean up some "bodily fluids" in the situation you described as a great tension breaker leading to laughs and jokes about how one year at Thanksgiving, we had all been sitting around the dinner table laughing when grandma suddenly stopped to exclaim that she had just piddled a little. :)

I'm a lady. My mother is a lady. We deal with blood on a monthly basis, frequently by surprise! So it wouldn't bother me, no matter where it was coming from. Pro tip!: Try to hit it when it's fresh, but even if it's a bit old, pour some peroxide on that bloody spot and let it sit for a few seconds before you dab it up! Peroxide naturally reacts to the blood and fizzes, helping to bring up the red blood cells out of the fiber. Repeat this if the first time didn't get it all, but peroxide can normally help rescue lots of fabrics and carpets. Just be warned to not let it sit for, like, thirty MINUTEs instead of SECONDS. Some fabrics are also prone to bleaching, which Peroxide can do. Hope this helps anyone having a home funeral! Or, you know, if you happen to be a lady as well or have ladies in your life!

My Sister cleaned the blood up in a bathroom after her daughter's father in law had a massive heart attack and hit his head. She did this to keep his wife from having to clean it. Yay!!! Sis!!!

Gotta love Caitlin.. Here in Ireland home funerals are pretty common place, you can all sit around your loved one drinking beers (or whiskey) telling stories, singing songs and generally celebrating the life of the departed. Truth is I've been to more happier funerals here in Ireland than happy weddings lol.

My brother helped my dad when an esophageal ulcer broke and there was blood vomited frequently during the emergency and clean up to do after-- frankly, I think it must have been far more traumatic to handle the "Is dad going to die right now?" problem and ensuing fluids than to have to mop up a bit of leakage after death.

I could definitely wipe my Mom's schmootz off the floor. She wiped mine after all!

We have to remember that a lot of these family members have potentially been cleaning up the patient's bloody fluids and dressing wounds in the days and weeks before death. I'm a palliative care nurse and I see a lot of family who want to do more and be involved with post mortem cares but they believe they're not allowed to (I work in a large hospital). When I tell them it's ok and even good(!) For them to help. We need to lay to rest (pun intended) this idea that families can't handle it. Let's not perpetuate fear and myths. Thanks for your videos! I'm a long time fan and I preach the "gospel" of the Order to anyone who listens. 🖤

Two people I considered friends passed away in April from a car accident. They were both coming home from prom and crashed into a tree on a popular road where I lived. They were a couple and the girl was a senior and the boy was a college freshman. Their deaths were tragic for tons of people in our school. The girl I knew better and she was the one in charge of a large group at school that j am involved in. It was devaststing when we all got the news that following Sunday. I want to say thank you for your videos. They have helped me move on and I feel like I can remember them fondly and still be able to cope with their lose.

First let me say, thank you. Mum passed 2013 and I still han't really mourned her passing. I was so angry and watching your videos has allowed me to accept some of her final moments and let me heal. I've learned that it is okay for me to have laid with her in her final moments. I've learned that my dressing her and putting in her denture, positioning her body and washing her hair before I let any other family member in was the right thing to do. I learned that wrapping her body and placing her in the transport bag myself was okay. I've learned that the decisions I made were mine to make and I encourage others to be as active as they are comfortable with being in the face of the death of a loved one.

When my mom went through chemo and multiple surgeries I clean up vomit, pee, emptied drains, mopped up sweat, and changed pus soaked bandages after she got an infection from her double mastectomy. What's the difference if she's breathing or not? If I was able to put a q-tip in a drainage hole, I should be able to clean her up when she passes.

My father had a major stroke in August, and I took care of him while he was home on hospice for two weeks. After cleaning poop and urine, it was not only not a problem, but very special for my sisters and I to bathe him after he passed. A little blood did not freak us out. He was picked up by the funeral home, as we were not keen on a home funeral in South Alabama in August, but we told him to not embalm, just store him in the freezer. They laid him out for visitation the next day, we sat with him however long we wanted. The funeral was about 3 days after he had passed. He went directly to cremation after we viewed him, and no one knew the closed coffin at the funeral was empty. That helped to stop the extended family from talking crap about us, and helped them feel like they could say goodbye properly (we invited anyone who wanted to actually see him to the wake). He was a poor man who had let his life insurance lapse, so my sisters and I ended up splitting the $5000 bill. That doesn’t even include the memorial 😒 We are trying to DIY that, too, but still have it be nice, with a sundial on top. The funeral director REALLY wanted to do a “light” embalming, just to keep him a little fresh, but I stayed strong and said, “no thank you!”

Yes. I have discussed, frankly, with Mom (Thank YOU for that good talk). The plan is for me to choose her clothes and go to the funeral home and dress and clean her for cremation. We discussed the option of a home wake, and my siblings voted a big fat “NO”. There are 3 of us, so, majority wins on voting. We never give a ‘maybe’ option. I have no objections, and Mom was very pleased that I opted for this, we also discussed her cremation container, and she will go in flame friendly cloth-no boxes. Cleaning up Mom “purge” (also a great word) isn’t something I dread. It’s Mom. Thanks, Caitlyn.

Our family took care of my grandmother in the comfort of home (my mother’s home) after several strokes put her into a vegetative state. We gave her around the clock love and care and she was surrounded by family when she let go of this world. It was not upsetting to care for her after death (we all said our final goodbyes while bathing and changing her one last time before calling the funeral home) as we had been doing so for just over two weeks. I imagine a sudden death could have different feelings attached since we’d bathed, dressed and kept her comfortable during that time. It was very sad (and still is) but I feel having that time with her and caring for her gave me ample time to say my goodbyes and to know she was ready to leave her broken body.

By far the biggest problem I can forsee with a home funeral is having living relatives in my house. At a funeral its easy to say "Byeee", but how do you shift these people from your home? That's why I never have parties.

Yes, I would and did have to clean up a bit of stuff after my Mom died in the house. Happens. I felt bad only about one part of the process . She died in her hospital style bed we put in her sitting room on the second floor of the house. She weighed not much when she died and I didn't want the Funeral Home guys to have to bring her down the stairs. No way that the gurney was going down that. So I went to pick her up and low and behold! Dead weight is very different than a live tiny lady who does not want to drop and would have been actively helping me! Realized this before we got to far, and the guys stepped in like the pros that they were. I had her up off the bed, so in a wink, they put a sturdy clean sheet beneath her, wrapped her up tightly like a cocoon and took her to the first floor where the gurney awaited. Away they went less than 3 hours after her death leaving us to begin the next phase.

My mum kept my sister at home after she died allowing her two daughters aged 14 & 16 at the time as well as my own daughter aged 5 at the time to talk to Brenda and for everyone to say goodbye in a familiar place (the living room) The undertakers were amazing and supported our choice every step of the way. My eldest and youngest sisters laid her out and she looked as though she was sleeping.

"Now have the corneas removed from the comfort of your own home!" i'm legit dying here, tears are streaming down my face

Absolutely not a problem for us, you have helped so much. My son died in September from cancer. From watching your videos. It gave us the opportunity. To spend more time with him before calling the funeral home. His wishes where to have a traditional funeral. Thank you for everything

If you look at my kitchen floors for longer than five seconds, you’d come to realize that I’ve probably mopped up worse than corpse ooze haha

I helped take care of my dad while he was at home with hospice care. I took a great deal of pride making sure he was clean and never felt embarrassed of what his body was doing as the organs were shutting down and he eventually passed away. He had three different types of cancer, congestive heart failure and pneumonia when he passed away. He was 63. I was also my mom’s health care provider for three years before she passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack, with a blood clot the size of an adult fist in her heart with a severely enlarged heart. She too passed away at home. I sat next to her brushing her hair until the funeral home came and picked her up, never once becoming squeamish from any of her bodily fluids. She passed away nine days after her 60’s birthday and six months after my dad. I keep telling my husband that I would like my tattooed skin removed and turned into lampshades. He says that it’s not legal to do and I’m sure he’s right. But I have beautiful, international award winning tattoos and think it would be really cool. I’d be happy to own a loved ones skin lampshade if that was their wishes.

My mom says the worst part of the moments immediately after my brothers death, aside from the really obvious, was having to say no to ALL organ and tissue donation. She’d met so many children who needed organs to live and she felt like she was sentencing them death by her refusal. But my baby brother was on **3** experimental drugs at the time of his death. He had been resuscitated multiple times in the past, lived 9.5 years with very, very severe epilepsy (what finally killed him), and to top it all off, he had a terminal genetic illness (Cystic Fibrosus, which was unrelated to the brain injury and seizures). My mom has been told not even his skin and eyes would be usable. Since his death was sudden, traumatic, and he was pronounced dead in an ER, he was an ideal candidate at first glance. And this was before computer records and they needed immediate answers (a yes means beginning life support until harvesting begins). So Mom has to say no and it broke her. I’m so glad a bunch of that is automated now. These days, she never would have even been asked.

In honesty, I'd be more concerned about keeping my pets from 'helping' than cleaning up a little post death goo on my own. Hey, you asked.

To answer your question about cleaning up blood, etc. from a loved one: yes I can because I did. My favorite uncle passed from sudden cardiac death and when he collapsed, he hit his head. There was a small sized puddle of blood that needed to be cleaned up before his sons got home, so my sister, nephew, and I cleaned the area. It felt sad only because we knew he was gone, and he was very dear to us.

I've witnessed cornea harvesting from a friend, I was very impressed with the honesty and professionalism of the woman doing the procedure, she was great.

I absolutely could easily mop any fluids. I grew up in the hospital. My mom and second mom were/are nurses. I started watching your videos shortly after my mom died, and I was still grieving and terrified of death. In an odd way, your channel and your approach to death and all its trappings has helped me greatly. I love your videos and your books. Thank you so much for everything you do.

I doubt it would bother me, when my other mother (My moms wife) died i got to do her hair and make up. Some fluid leaked out from her eyes. I cleaned up, applied the make up and made her look all glam and pretty like she liked to be in life. So a bit of fluid blood or whatever would probably be no big deal to me.

If i could clean up dog barf I don't see why I wouldn't be able to mop up loved ones gross off the floor. Also loved the benthams head at the end. How sweet. And the guys from today I found out really need to see your show about Bentham they think his head is gross. But your video made him sweet

It's interesting how much my opinion changed throughout this video and reading the comments. At first I wasn't sure if I actually would be able to do something like that? But hearing Caitlin be so frank, and the heart warming comments about people's own personal experiences. It kind of puts things into perspective, a body is a body, it's not going to harm you. And it's someone you love too. This channel never fails to get my brain going!

Your Awesome! I love how you bring humor into these topics. My family's preference are home funerals, we're Irish, & love a good 2-3 day wake!!! ✌💖🍻🤗

My dad suddenly died last week at a young age, and he was an organ and tissue donor. We did not have a home funeral, but he did die at home. Remembering the things I learned from your channel has been such a comfort 💕. I love your work!

I could clean up my mum's fluids if need be. Way I see it she dealt with my fluids as a baby, if she wants a home funeral, it's the least I can do. No more gross than a blood nose or a nappy change.

I use to work in palliative care, and as part of that care I would encourage significant others to participate in the dying loved ones care...if they wanted to. This eventually extended to caring for the deceased prior to being taken to the morgue. Often it was left to the women of the family with most men hastily exiting the room. Those who chose to help wash/dry and prepare the body for the morgue told me later that it was the last comforting thing they could do. They could touch the body in a way that wasn't frightening and it made death seem more peaceful. People fear death because they think it is painful and traumatic, and caring for a body after death allows them to see how relaxed the body is and that peace has finally come. Death is there when you need it most.

Omg my dad literally loves Game Of Thrones and we have an Schnauzer. 😂 fiel I’m totally stealing the idea.

Something like the 'bodily fluids on the floor' thing actually happened to me (tldr it was fine). My labrador Guinness had something called lympho sarcoma and she was listless and in pain and there was no chance of recovery. She was euthanised at the vet with me and my mum kneeling either side of her. She sat up at the last moment and died in my mum's arms. We took a moment to let her die and then we stood up and my knees were soaked. Her bladder had let go and a puddle of had formed under me (I hadn't noticed cause it was body-temperature). The weird thing it felt like kind of an honour. Guinness wee'd on a lot of people in her life and I was the last one. We drove home and I changed. It was fine.

"Charismatic Mega-organ" sounds like a terrible frat boy nickname.

Genuinely, if one of my loved ones wanted a home funeral and I was able to provide it for them at the end of their life, cleaning up after and taking care of their body for their burial would feel like an honour. What an amazing blessing it would feel like to be able to do something positive and wished for by someone I love in a time when people often feel so helpless.

I could absolutely not handle “cleaning up” my mom for a home funeral

I just split my water out on the floppy limb part, you are the best, seriously!

I cleaned up blood and assorted ooze while my mother was dying, so I suppose, what difference does it make after the person has passed? I am not offended at all by cleaning up such as mess. however, I know my mother was mortified at the thought of her children "cleaning up" after her while she was ill... so my concern would not be for my own disgust, but for that of the deceased.

Was catching mom up on Ask a Mortician and as you were talking about organ donors having home funerals mom looked very interested and nodded in agreement about something, so I asked if she was getting ideas and she nodded. So thanks! She didn't know about that option, and now I know she's interested in a home funeral! :) We bond over your videos and my Great Grandma just came back home with us but with hospice, so your videos are helpful and comforting as we're surrounded by a bunch of family that won't talk about any death stuff.

My Grandmother passed away in an old folks home, moments before my mom arrived to visit her. My mom helped the nurses clean and prepare her body. She said it was actually a good experience and shes glad that she got to be a part of it. Her being there made it an emotional moment of accepting her mothers death and saying goodbye before she was cremated.

I don't really have a weak stomach for gorey stuff, but I'm genuinely not sure if I could clean up body ooze from a deceased loved one. It's weird, because I know I wouldn't mind doing it for a stranger, but having to wipe up body fluids from someone I loved with a rag, and chuck it away in the bin...I dunno, the idea is a bit too much for me =s

I'm not sure why or when, but this has become my favorite channel on youtube.

I absolutely love your videos. So informative with awesome silly humor. This drawings are so cute and I’m living for the little “Benthem’s head” drawing at the end. Yussss!

My father donated his skin after he died at age 85. I was happy he could donate. I know he made a difference in someone's life.

My mom and dad cleaned up my blood and other things while I was an accident prone, crazy, and reckless child. I would be honored to take care of them in any way I can when they go. I will be devastated when the time comes, but perhaps our family's shared dark sense of humor will help. Your books and videos have helped me tremendously to confront and accept death. It's probably the greatest gift one can receive. Thank you Caitlin.

I am a nurse, so I’m used to cleaning up bodily fluids, and I work in palliative care so I am used to caring for deceased patients. While I would love a home funeral and natural burial for my loved ones, I don’t know how involved I could be in the care for their body. I’m not sure I would be able to clean up bodily fluids of my loved ones. I really wish I could, but I don’t think it’s within me. But for some reason if they were alive I wouldn’t mind cleaning up bodily fluids. Dunno.

Very helpful! I have a lot to think through now. Thanks Caitlin for another humorous and thought provoking video!!

I am so thankful for the donated bone and cartilage I needed for 4 SI Joint surgeries. I’m a donor. Won’t need my body, but it may save someone else. I did wipe up my Dad passed. He wanted to pass at home and I was a combat medic so I was able to care for him. After he died, I showed my mom how to clean up the catheter, she even removed it. Together we prepped him as much as we could before the mortuary came to pick him up. When they came for the body, they kicked us out of the room so they could perform test to make sure he had passed and got him on the gurney. Seeing him rolled out of the house in a bag was much worse than cleaning him up.

A lot of funerals where i live in the lake traverse reservation are done a bit like a home funeral. There is a community building that everyone goes to and what happens is the family has three days where the stay with the deceased and pray and take care of the body. On the first day it is just close family that help grieve with the parents of the deceased (most funerals from the past few years where i live have been teens and young adults from either suicide, health issues or car accidents during the icy months. all three types have personally affected me with family and friends during the past 3 years) The second day is open to the public and people go to view the body and pay respects, then the third day is a day full of viewing, prayers, speeches, singing traditional songs and tears and after a few hours they are set in the herse and brought to the burial grounds. Everyone follows and the police help escort the family, then once everyone is there people begin to pray in dakota and sing mourning songs sometimes depending on whether or not the family decides upon it. After that the body is buried and everyone goes and takes a handful of dirt and lays it on the casket while saying goodbye. But it isnt the final goodbye because a year later the family goes to the grave and prays to help guide the spirit to the afterlife. Its believed that the spirit stays for one year to watch over their friends and family and so they can get ready to leave, and after that year is up the community prays for them so that they can cross over safely. Once they cross over they can be with their ancestors and watch over everyone they knew and loved. Its very beautiful and heartbreaking, and ive personally dealt with the deaths of two friends by suicide exactly one year apart (which meant the family from the first funeral also attended the second burial because they were buried close together) another friend and her baby during pregnancy complications, and my cousin in a car accident. It has been very difficult for the community but we all came together and helped the families as well as helping the deceased cross over. Its a powerful and emotional thing but it helped bring our community closer together and we have been fixing things that should have been done a long time ago.

I think people truly underestimate the level of mama-bear strength that springs forth during times of grief. The same caring feeling you get around a baby, bc they can’t care for themselves, is shown on steroids after a death. People imagine ickiness associated with dead strangers, bc they don’t want to imagine their loved ones gone. When it’s your own, however, personal boundaries tend to dissolve when you realize that nobody will give them the same level of care that you can. Pros will do their best to respect the dead, but it’s rarely an expression of genuine love for the decedent as anything more than a fellow human.

You are so informative yet I find myself laughing out loud too. So much fun. Thank you.

I helped clean my friends daughter. He donated her organs and then got driven to a hospice for families of chronically ill children or children who have died. She got put in their specialised cold room in a bed which kept her cold. We painted her nails but she was still in rigor mortis...made it a bit difficult but we joked our way through it I am so glad i got to help, helped me heal and adjust

Had to clean my mother in laws blood. She passed from lung cancer after choking to death on said blood. It stays with you, because it's a loved one, but it's not that bad. Plus your already kinda out of it from them dying.

I don't know how I found this channel but i'm loving it.

When my mom passed away I donated her eyes and skin. I had asked if when we had the funeral, would we be able to see the any difference. They said no, and they did good we couldn't tell. I dont think I could clean up body fluids from certain family members(not cause itll gross me out) because I think my heart is already broken and I'm trying to process everything and that would be to much for my heart and head to handle. In other words Im emotionally involved with immediate family(grandparents, parents, siblings, and children). *side note* Im so glad I came across your channel. Ive been watching nonstop. Someone on Facebook had put a link to one of your videos up. And i was curious so I clicked it. I find that I love your personality and your knowledge are wonderful. So thank you for doing this. (Amy)

Really like your videos. Thanks for your time!

I am simply amazed and incredibly pleased at the lengths you can go to in order to honor a loved one's wishes. Cling film? Dowels? *Nothing* can stop people from giving their loved ones what they want -- if they're able to handle it. By the way, those "wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men" had me rolling! 😆😆

I love that you added "chosen family" when you said family because so many people in the LGTBQ+ community are not accepted by their real family and I heard of a story, maybe from you in your death plan video, where a trans person's body was dressed like their assigned gender at their funeral by their family and it was just not right. It's important that people know that they can take care of the friends they consider their family.

It’s hard to say for sure what my real reaction to having to clean up something like that would be until it happens but I’m open to the idea of having to do it.

I have cadaver bone in my jaw. My teeth were in bad shape, and it was used to build up jaw bone. Thank you to the bond donors ❤️

05:10 RIP ME. I'm dead. Please send my body to Undertaking LA

I worked as an advanced EMT for yrs. It wouldn't bother me a bit after mopping up brains and other bodily fluids after accidents and other deadly activities.

Well, I have taken the beginning steps to donate my brain after death to autism research. I feel like it is something I can do for others. Some of whom are yet to be born. You helped me with that decision. Thank You! Always a fan may you be gifted as greatly as we are gifted by you!

I have so much respect and admiration for the people in the comments! I personally couldn't. Body fluids freak me out, always have. But I am happy to know that there are people and professionals out there who could help me when the time comes.