y3wew blog (special edition) 05/24/2024
Hello again, treasured viewers!
Thank you again for watching. Whether you have been following along and commenting since my first video, or if this is your first time here with me today. I myself don’t really ever comment on the videos of KZfaqrs that I support, so even if you have been silently supporting me, that’s all I’ll ever need from you.
Whenever I see someone thanking me for uploading, I get a bit surprised. Rather than thinking of my videos as a service, it’s really just a way for me to give myself a reason to do something fun by myself. I feel like I wouldn’t have the opportunity to do that otherwise unless there’s an audience to justify it.
Since today’s upload is a celebration, I wanted to take the time to reflect on some of the thoughts you all have shared with me. Honestly, I’m not very good at expressing myself eloquently on camera even when I have a lot to say. Something that weighs on my mind often is how some of my viewers share that they feel burdened by social pressure to hide their non-mainstream hobbies or fashion sense. I’m not someone who dresses in subculture, so I’m not as familiar with that pressure. But I see from the comments that a fair amount of my viewers do dress in different Akihabara-kei styles.
Just to touch on what I said in the video, I think it’s really great if watching my videos helped you remember the simple joys of consuming media you like or dressing the way you want, even if it’s out of date or if you’re afraid strangers will judge you. I was surprised to hear that my videos would motivate anyone to try to have the courage to explore creatively, I don’t think I’m really doing anything especially groundbreaking.
To be transparent, I had no intentions of starting this channel for something as noble as ‘helping’ anyone else with personal revelations. I started making videos for the selfish reason that I wanted to give myself a reason to do something different, even if it was by myself. It seemed fun to play around with colors and to dress like shoujo anime male leads from the 2000s sometimes.
But over the last few months, it’s made me concerned to hear that so many of you are worried about the opinions of strangers on the street or feel too burdened by other forces to let yourself connect with what you love. I recognize that not everyone is in the position to dress the way they want, but for those of you that are: Would you really trade the fleeting opportunity to express yourself the way that you want just for the fleeting respect of onlookers? It feels banal to me. It’s not like you’re hurting anyone, right?
After a certain age, it can be easy to fall into a trap where you feel like you are only going through the motions without intention. I always looked up to people who participate in subculture because their outfits could only be made with love, care and intention.
If someone feels the need to hate you for benign hobbies, that’s a reflection of their character rather than your own. That’s how I feel, anyways.
Also, sometimes when we get dealt a different set of cards than other people, especially those around you, it’s really easy to compare. But just because friends or family that are your age are getting married soon or in high earning jobs doesn’t mean you have to follow the same pace as them (I’m projecting). Whether or not you’ve had setbacks in life, I think you should forgive yourself if you have unconventional interests or fashion sense as an adult. Especially if you didn’t have a chance to when you were younger. It’s never too late to make up for lost time!
These days, I’ve been a lot excited than I was in December. I don’t have any friends that like the same shows or clothes as me so I have nowhere to talk about them besides into the camera. I think I’m going to be fine. I think you’ll be too. Even if I’m a bit lonelier than I was when I was in school, I think I’ve learnt that you don’t need a particular ‘reason’ to do an activity other than wanting to, even if it’s by myself. Thank you for teaching me that.
I hope that whether you’re dressing up in Jirai-kei, Gothic Lolita fashion, Gyaru, or a slice of life anime background character, that you take the time to enjoy it.
If you took the time to read this, I hope we all grow together this year. Good luck!
tl;dr thanks for watching, remember to let yourself have fun sometimes