Point 6 is has worked for my son. Thanks to going to school with a friend, my son with OCD has missed school only once this semester, and that one day his friend was sick. Last year, he was chronically absent, even with a reduced schedule and very involved teachers. His struggles with school are not over, but now he is taking the first step--getting there. He feels much better about himself, which is huge.

What if they have no friends or friends aren't able/willing?

I keep seeing professionals claim is a situation that's totally diagnosable. It isn't applicable to my son. He just genuinely doesn't enjoy school work. He doesn't want to go. We home schooled him to control the education he was receiving. The teachers he encountered would overlook him when he was struggling. He needed more attention to ensure he committed to it. But even home schooling he fought and argued doing the work too. He is very smart and intelligent and I believe that to be a big issue as well. He learns things very quickly and he's able to teach himself just by viewing examples. It's quite impressive. However he cannot be motivated to do it. This gentleman is very knowledgeable and helpful to some regard. But most isn't applicable to our situation unfortunately. Thank you for the information.

School refusal is soooo hard. My daughter is struggling with this right now. We're on a waiting list for therapy, but it has spiraled in the meantime.

Wonderful video. God bless you

I will implement the 6 points and will be back with testimonies. Thank

I’ve been learning a lot about autism and nuerodivergent children because my daughter who has school refusal and severe anxiety ( mostly triggered by school and sometimes triggered by over crowded or loud places such as malls and grocery stores ) seems to be showing signs that could be autism that she kept hidden all her life. They call it masking and done kids can do that well, especially girls . I don’t know for sure if she’s autistic but I’ve just been reading a lot about it and we are currently seeking diagnosis. I heard that forcing an autistic child into an environment that causes them great anxiety can cause ptsd in them . Shouldn’t we be having kids checked for such things before we force them into situations that are not suitable for them ? I feel like all the forcing we did to get my daughter into school traumatized her to the point that she can’t even open a school book now . She used to be scared of malls and grocery stores to but I was able to help her overcome that by planning pleasant activities together with her ( I called them our mother daughter days ) at malls and quieter places while also empathizing with how she’s feeling . I put the control in her hands by telling her to let me know when it gets to be too much and we can leave .( I saw a video that talked on how someone experiencing anxiety attacks has lost their sense of control and safety and they need that to overcome the anxiety. ) It worked and now she asks me if we can go to the mall together all the time . This is a huge improvement from staying in her room all the time not even wanting to leave the house . She may not have autism, it could be agoraphobia…. Idk yet but it seems to me that what a person experiencing anxiety needs is a sense of control and safety . To know that they get to take the steps forward when THEY are ready . Forcing something too much only seemed to break my child more . It’s possible though that we just haven’t experienced what’s on the other side of forcing her through it to see if after all that she actually did get better . There just seemed to be no other side where she overcame it . It just kept getting worse the more we pushed. For my daughter the forcing ended in her freezing in place, hyperventilating and scratching sores into her wrist . That was the final straw for me . I didn’t feel it was wise to keep pushing at that point and now I’m wondering if for some children this pushing doesn’t help them overcome it but rather gives them ptsd or severe depression and self harm , especially if they have something undiagnosed such as autism. Shouldn’t schools be required to mention this too the parents so they know their suggestions aren’t going to cause more harm ?

The school Principal does this at my daughters school to try and help I agree with point 6 and feel this is the most effective when done consistently over a month

Very helpful! Thanks so much.

How do you know if an expectation is reasonable for a child's functional level? What if they don't meet the expectation put in place for weeks on end?

Thankyou so very much for doing this very important video. We school staff are very grateful

When your child has no friends? How do you approach number 6?

My question is about someone who is intellectual disabled and severe autism?? Had been having school refusal since TK .. Kindergarten , first, second, third, fourth. Not 5th because it was at home learning. Now 6th grade and I struggle

This is all great information and seems doable. However, what about the siblings? No screens for 24 hours? What if I want to watch tv with my son? Do I have my SA child go up to her room so she can’t watch? The seems very harsh and punitive, not to mention isolating. Also, if they don’t have their phones, how are school staff and family members to call them?

Unfortunately point 2 is not good advice. A distressed, anxious, depressed child needs the opposite of point 2. Follow Dr Naomi Fisher clinical psychologist who completely disagrees with this. The child is likely burnt out and traumatised and you will cause additional trauma by taking away their special interests, comforts (devices), and ruining your relationship when what they need is for you to have their back and be their advocate and trusted person. They need connections and compassion. Not punishments for the fact that school is failing to meet their needs.

When the hell did so many people become so anxious about everything?

You can learn better on your own. School brainwashed you by suppressing born talents. I loved comedy, acting but 'teachers' tried to change me. I walked out and was tutored. To Hell with schools!!!

School stinks and teachers too.