Is there anything worse than a Christian joke-off? Pete Holmes, Tom Segura, and Christina P try to see if they got what it takes to crack these religious riddles. www.yourmomshou... merchmethod.co... / yourmomshousepodcast
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@mikusshebus2 жыл бұрын
One of my favorite Hank Hill lines is from the Christian rock episode: “You’re not making Christianity better, you’re making rock n roll worse!”
@johnduffy853211 ай бұрын
Love that line. I use it whenever I can.
@DK-bg4qb9 ай бұрын
The exodus quote from that show is pretty good too. m.kzfaq.info/get/bejne/bqdxgal_qqmml2Q.html
@SmokeyJo338 ай бұрын
I just sent this to my church. This is such a valuable gem of a video.
@G_Demolished8 ай бұрын
I like South Park’s “You don’t know anything about Christianity, Cartman! … I know enough to exploit it like Creed!”
@Mr._Roper8 ай бұрын
He actually said "you're not making the Bible better, you're making music worse". But yes, that's the best line ever lol
@pokeydokey5 жыл бұрын
"How do you make holy water?" "Boil the hell out of it." How do you ruin that joke?!
@seamussouleater5 жыл бұрын
Because they can't say Hell. Its a swear.
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
Holy water has nothing to do with Christianity. That is a roman catholic tradition and the stagnant holy water in them fonts at the front of catholic churches has been tested and contains a lot of bacteria, obviously. Catholicism is not Christianity. There, i ruined that joke.
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
@Clay Chiarelott The list of reasons is endless. Jesus said in Matthew 23:9 "And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." But in catholicism they call every priest "father." The second commandment according to Exodus 20:4-6 is as follows, "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments." But catholicism has images and statues surrounding and filling every one of their buildings. 1Timothy 4:1-3 says "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth." Priest of the catholic church are forbidden to marry and commanded to abstain from meats on Fridays during lent. It is not a coincidence that they are ignorant of what God's Word says and that they follow the same exact doctrine that God exposed as doctrine of devils. Catholicism is an establishment of man's traditions, not a Church of Christ. A Christian knows better than to pray to Mary and saints. Mary can not save one soul, Mary didn't die for anyone's sins. "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" -1 Timothy 2:5.
@benkalem5 жыл бұрын
@@seamussouleater wouldn't the correct term be "cuss", because apparently the word "curse" is also banned for no reason?
@HappyCGM5 жыл бұрын
Joe Mcginnis all forms of Christianity stemmed from Catholicism. It is a type of Christianity. That’s not even up to debate in any academic or religious circles lol
@wbhk12 жыл бұрын
The funniest part of the holy water joke is that it's supposed to be "boil the hell out of it" but that was too edgy so they cleaned it up. 🤣
@Tako1012 жыл бұрын
I bet the card said boil the hell out of it, and the kid changed it on the fly.
@landlocked_lifts332 Жыл бұрын
The worst part is that, by removing the word "hell", you completely destroy the pun. The joke doesn't work anymore.
@brandonrupp5880 Жыл бұрын
Yes, but that really doesn't save it.
@mikefischera85168 ай бұрын
Shoulda said "heck" instead. I could see Ned Flanders saying that
@michaeltravers98668 ай бұрын
was looking for this comment
@ergolineL3 жыл бұрын
"How many lollipops can you lick before a Jew goes to hell" no punchline needed, I laughed way too hard.
@michaeltonikov3 жыл бұрын
I almost choked to death
@brianskinner34403 жыл бұрын
17
@johnprina39243 жыл бұрын
Just that set up is better than any of the christian jokes' punchlines
@Charlezard.3 жыл бұрын
We all did.
@meganchambers81083 жыл бұрын
666
@blerdynerdy57054 жыл бұрын
"You're going to tell me the mysteries of the universe and you don't know that this joke doesn't work?!"
@m00sechuckle155 жыл бұрын
I am a Christian (haven’t always been) and I see Pete’s point and completely agree. I haven’t heard someone describe it so well, but that is exactly what it is. It’s hard to truly get to know people at church, because everyone is too busy out Christ-ing one another to just be themselves. Hanging out with a Christian for time I call “waiting to fart.” It’s where everyone is just waiting to see how human the other person is so you can act human too. It’s clucking exhausting.
@deadpixel18095 жыл бұрын
Brian Eels well said I’m using this
@m00sechuckle155 жыл бұрын
emptyy elvis thanks my dude. Use it liberally! Luckily me and my wife attend a church that is more focused on the message of the Bible, and less focused on how people should act. Our Pastor is just as likely to break out and sing Bob Dylan as much as he is to sing some old hymn written in the Appalachian mountains. Yet, there are still some folks that act like they never fart and life isn’t meant to be fun.
@s.m.r.swasey12965 жыл бұрын
#truth #Jesus is perfect because we are not. I would not attend a church that wasn’t focused on Jesus the gospel and working toward perfection while simultaneously accepting the fact we were made human. I also did not grow up Christian. Quit the opposite. I think the devil is just good at perverting things. Stay on the path my brother.
@s.m.r.swasey12965 жыл бұрын
Vanadyan if i may. I have had to attend alot of churches in the past few years. I try not to judge as i realized i am not looking for the perfect church but the church that realizes we are not and never will be. Keep looking don’t settle God will put you where your supposed to be. Interestingly enough i just attended my second service today at a baptist church i really like. Who woulda guessed. #prayers
@jahimjauh-hey56535 жыл бұрын
fucking exhausting*
@camdenstuart6704 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes’ take on Christianity is so insightful. Definitely bring him back on soon please
@Joe.Bro904 жыл бұрын
As a believer, I wish more Christians would listen to this clip. So good.
@Nyx-033 жыл бұрын
Yeah, being a Christian, I am more than aware that the general community of Christians is very... restrictive. It’s frankly very sad that there are so many intolerant people out there who wear the skin of Christians. I’m just relieved to say not all of em are like that
@MikeDawson273 жыл бұрын
@@Nyx-03 Agree. The place I go and the fellow believers I know are all about being real, admitting our fears and weaknesses etc. I feel bad that Pete had such phony fellow believers around him that let him know it was ok to not be perfect.
@thekid39473 жыл бұрын
He enlightened me. Now I know that there's a scripture in the Bible that tells you to do butt stuff with your wife
@liamroddy4203 жыл бұрын
Nice try Pete
@dustinsmith20215 жыл бұрын
Jesus had a Honda, but didn't talk about it. "He did not speak of his own Accord".
@biggsdickley15635 жыл бұрын
Dustin Smith fucking booooooo
@WilliamMurphy-wp795 жыл бұрын
I don't know why you thought the comment section for a 20 minute video going into painful detail over why Christan jokes suck ass was the ideal venue for you to regurgitate your own tepid joke anyone who has ever stepped foot in a church has heard at least twice, but hey, you do you
@Wnick565 жыл бұрын
@@WilliamMurphy-wp79 whoosh
@nedisahonkey5 жыл бұрын
@@Wnick56 That's not a whoosh dipshit. He got the joke, he just thought it wasn't funny. People like you are the reason whooshing has been passé for years.
@Jeremy-ql1or4 жыл бұрын
Jesus built my hot rod.
@maximiliandort34893 жыл бұрын
this episode gave me a new level of appreciation for Pete Holmes. The guy jsut gets it, and he has a very elegant way of expressing the complexity of christian hypocrisy
@ferrankorres6272 жыл бұрын
"you're here to tell me the mysteries of the universe, and you dont know this joke ain't gonna work?" Fucking love this guy
@spehizle5 жыл бұрын
Also, "what do you call a vampire with hay fever ?" The punchline should have been Nosferachoo.
@benjrivera214 жыл бұрын
That's great
@onepunch92034 жыл бұрын
Still a corny wordplay, but better than pollen count. 👍🏼
@gidope40764 жыл бұрын
Count blessyoula
@cctomcat3214 жыл бұрын
At least I smiled. More than what I got from the fun suckers.
@allforthebit4 жыл бұрын
Youth pastor didn't want anyone to go looking up what that word meant
@jonathanbowen67745 жыл бұрын
I think Peter Holmes just touched my soul in a very uncomfortable way and put into words something I have spent 10 years trying to figure out? I don't know how I feel about this.
@cookingwithalf15 жыл бұрын
Listen to You Made it Weird with pete holmes
@nic21545725 жыл бұрын
thanks bro!
@nkintc5 жыл бұрын
You're not the only one. Do with that information, what you will.
@ol_mcdarnold5 жыл бұрын
just to tag on to purityctrl. check out the episodes with rob bell and peter rollins.
@trentonmcclintock78365 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes is the antithesis of comedy and goodness. he's a fucking disgrace
@cabinderada5 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes is legit one of the most thought-provoking comedians working today. I have yet to see a clip from him where I wasn't floored by his humor, timing, and just outright humanity.
@larsonfamilyhouse2 жыл бұрын
Have you watched Crashing? It’s so good.
@MPHswayze2 жыл бұрын
I liked him on the platfrom especially because Tom was really smitten with Pete and egged him on it a good way to further bits. You can tell Tom loves windows into peoples lives
@anthonyzullo2 жыл бұрын
The one bit he has on one of his albums where he's talking about how nothing makes sense makes so much sense to me lol. It's exactly how I view religions. Like, no matter how much you believe no one will ever know what tf is going on, so why worry about it.
@robinmcinarnay7827 Жыл бұрын
Idk who he is but he seems very likeable, relatable, and just truly authentic. He had a lot of perspective to offer up that was indeed intriguing and thought-provoking. Man's rivers run deep for sure!
@AngryMuppet917 ай бұрын
So a guy cracks a wise one suddenly he's the best thing since sliced bread? Lot's of people make jokes, many of whom don't have the problem of having to preface everything with a trigger warning the way this apologist does constantly.
@vikingwarbear82013 жыл бұрын
I have fantasies about forcing certain family members to watch this clip Clockwork Orange style
@flyingardilla1433 жыл бұрын
I CAN'T CLOSE ME GLASSES
@AmanOU2be2 жыл бұрын
@@flyingardilla143 glazzies
@AngryMuppet917 ай бұрын
Genuine, immutable bliss. Those are the only words that can describe the feeling your words have delivered unto me in this moment. Except now I have to find compelling reasons to NOT do it.
@bigol92237 ай бұрын
stopped reading 9 words into your comment, I think I got the gist
@nogotrobot79544 ай бұрын
I also got the jizz of it
@charlie.chalk.29814 жыл бұрын
"Because they were Cluckin' around?" I laughed too hard at that
@nicholasbullock17094 жыл бұрын
Ch4RL13 Ch4LK I thought the chicken joke was going to end with “playing with their cocks”
@dereklbrink5 жыл бұрын
Hi! Former minister here. There's a lot of very valid stuff in this video. I'm not going to follow that up with a "but..." and a bunch of religious-speak. There's just a LOT of VERY VALID stuff in this video.
@negativeindustrial4 жыл бұрын
Derek Brink Why “former minister”? What’d you do you?
@Teeveepicksures4 жыл бұрын
@@negativeindustrial woke up
@eisenwerks63884 жыл бұрын
@@negativeindustrial He probably figured out that it was a nonsense cult.
@aroff5954 жыл бұрын
@@swagmonster7 Naw, you don't get kicked out for that.
@revengeofthesynth54304 жыл бұрын
This comment, your picture, and even your videos, you truly are the walking embodiment of reddit
@lpfreak17085 жыл бұрын
Best sermon I've heard in years
@joelsterling37355 жыл бұрын
My favorite part is at the end when Tom admits he gets pegged by his wife. Good for you Tom.
@Xplora2135 жыл бұрын
Joel Sterling my lungs hurt from that j joke
@CorbCorbin5 жыл бұрын
Ole Tommy Bunz, and his sacred raisin cake.
@johnnywhiteshoe5 жыл бұрын
PEGAsus, babayyy
@EternalResonance5 жыл бұрын
from his jokes on his specials, he expressed this a looooooong time ago.
@ElMoShApPiNeSs5 жыл бұрын
Isn't he just saying he wants her to peg him. Not that she currently does.
@BrendanGFoster3 жыл бұрын
I fucking love Pete! He's so wholesome and angry!
@STSGuitar162 жыл бұрын
“How many lollipops can you lick before a Jew goes to hell?” Jfc man that killed me 😂😂😂😂
@Finegritmusicofficial5 жыл бұрын
I've been a fan of Pete Holmes for a while now, but this interview solidifies all of the reasons why. This interview shows him in a casual light, unrehearsed, just telling us the reasons of his comedy and performance are LOVE and MOTIVATION. This is why I will continue to support him in my ways possible. It is a blessing that an entertainer with these type of good intentions can grace us!
@dmjdmj5 жыл бұрын
Couldn't have put it better myself. To me, this is where Pete Holmes thrives. I fucking love that Golden Retriever looking SOB.
@AromaticVendor2 жыл бұрын
Watching this is 2022 and I completely agree with your take.
@jaypee42 Жыл бұрын
I used to listen to Pete’s “You Made it Weird” podcast. I stopped when I no longer commuted to work. I need to listen again.
@keatonsmith56694 жыл бұрын
Respect for Pete Holmes increased quite a bit.
@idlefritz4 жыл бұрын
same, that's a refreshing perspective on spirituality within an organization, makes you think
@canislupusfool4 жыл бұрын
@Carlos Rodriguez Don't you think most atheists have a better understanding of believers than vice versa? Especially in the US where most atheists were born into religion...
@fuckamericanidiot4 жыл бұрын
@Carlos Rodriguez He is very honest.
@canislupusfool4 жыл бұрын
@Carlos Rodriguez You didn't specify 'born-again' in your original comment but I see where you are coming from. Even then, I still feel that most atheists have a better understanding of the born-again mindset than vice versa. It ticks a lot of the cult boxes after all... Edit: I should also add that while atheists see religions as having some similarities we are aware of the differences as well. Most atheists look down on Islam and christianity especially due to the harm they cause though other religions are certainly capable of causing harm as well. I've noticed that born-again Christians tend to be the loudest and most hateful anti-abortionists, and I've always assumed this was because they feel that they have more to prove plus a number of points Pete Holmes made.
@canislupusfool4 жыл бұрын
@Carlos Rodriguez It was just a factual description. Christianity is literally a doomsday cult as it satisfies many of the criteria of being a cult (believes the world is going to end, etc.). Born-again believers tend to double down on the behavior that is the most cultish. I know it can be difficult to hear that as 'cult' has a fairly negative connotation but it can also be used objectively. I'd be interested if you have any research or evidence you can point to, but the born again Christians I've met could most accurately be described as lapsed Christians. I don't know of any outspoken atheists that have become born again but there are countless priests who have become atheists. What I'm trying to say is that I don't think any strong atheists have become born again. I say this from the experience of talking to any born again Christians and almost all of them had no idea about common atheistic beliefs. A surprisingly large percentage of them claimed atheism was just about wanting to disobey god/ wanting to be immoral (which couldn't be further from the truth).
@erichvonmolder93105 жыл бұрын
This is a good joke: BILL HICKS: CROSS JEWELRY A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he's gonna want to see a cross? That's kinda like going up to Jackie Kennedy Onassis with a rifle pendant on.
@JakeLoeppky5 жыл бұрын
Jackie Kennedy didn't die from a rifle. In the case of the cross it's what it represents; Jesus' death > Resurrection > etc.... I don't think He would mind if people actually wear it to remember why he died. Fr. For those frontin with it on that's another story. For people that think Jesus would be simple minded and only think 'the cross is where I was killed' and not have a thought beyond that I think could gain more understanding reading through one of the Gospels.
@steviewonder4175 жыл бұрын
That’s a really shitty joke. Maybe worse than than the car painter joke.
@reddog24playa15 жыл бұрын
You guys have shit humor lmao that Bill Hicks joke is hilarious.
@jolukegrace5 жыл бұрын
That is a reworked joke- I heard it from Lenny Bruce. He said if Jesus was shot, would Christians were pistols around their necks? This joke totally changed my mind about using the cross as a symbol . Truly brilliant logic- and so obvious once you see it!
@steviewonder4175 жыл бұрын
The cross didn’t kill Jesus the Jews did. So it doesn’t even make sense as a joke.
@angrypotato87827 ай бұрын
Loved Pete Holmes' comedy for awhile but never knew about his Christian upbringing, I was also raised Christian (Lutheran, no longer practicing) and appreciated the hell out of what he's saying here. Good shit
@alterennui33842 жыл бұрын
Haven't heard Pete Holmes in a while. Such a great dude
@paulbamford41665 жыл бұрын
I feel like Pete Holmes would be an expert by now at spotting fake orgasms.
@nvlarcht5 жыл бұрын
You gotta hear a real one for reference first
@seanhurley92165 жыл бұрын
Very underrated joke
@loawtf5 жыл бұрын
bang bang!!
@signifidelica28195 жыл бұрын
shots fuckin fired
@mr.doctorcaptain11242 жыл бұрын
@@nvlarcht wait... hear a real orgasm? I'd say 99% of the girls I've been with went super quite leading up to the orgasm, and half were quite during the orgasm. I'd say you more feel an orgasm than hear it.
@DrMandrill5 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes just conceptualized the existential flaw with religious fundamentalism
@dambition74955 жыл бұрын
yeah like theres just one flaw with religious fundamentalism jezzz you never read the news or what?
@DrMandrill5 жыл бұрын
Daniel Ambition Speaking more on his ability to articulate an existential point of view, not on the lack of evidence which supports the claim
@MrAbbotm5 жыл бұрын
fundamentalism is not a requirement of religiosity
@etermena965 жыл бұрын
Words that mean soemthing
@tonedef2215 жыл бұрын
In any religion, the folks with the lowest IQ are the Fundamentalists.
@dakotanelson24235 жыл бұрын
Can we just stop for a second and appreciate how incredibly intelligent Pete Holmes is... dude is a goofy comedian, but is NOT a moron. Wow
@Janzer_2 жыл бұрын
That's how it goes. Intelligent comedians can play the fool well, and often did.
@panaroid96369 ай бұрын
Cringe
@thereportoftheweek7877 ай бұрын
Goofy comedians are rarely stupid people. If you want to spot the dumb comedians, look for the ones who try to present themselves as intelligent, like Tom segura.
@mvpuz13 жыл бұрын
"Why did a fight break out in heaven?" "Someone called St. Francis a sissy."
@Bessy212 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes is soooo articulate. and he speaks so clear with so much passion. I love it
@khajiithasskooma5 жыл бұрын
My favorite christian joke: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.
@adempc5 жыл бұрын
That's really great.
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
One told us not to have any images that are idols, the other is an image of an idol. True Christians that are not decieved do not accept that picture of that long haired hippy that people say is Jesus. It is idolatry.
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
@David Ortiz your really showing your ignorance here. Jews have written record of Jesus, who they had put to death on the cross, in the Talmud. You live in 2019 A.D., do you think the world is 2019 years old? 2019 years from what? Ignorance is not equal to stupidity, so i am not calling you stupid. It would be like calling a first grader stupid because they dont know algebra, when in fact they are juat ignorant because they never studied algebra. So when they see 9+X=18, they just think the person that wrote it is stupid to think they can add numbers and letters. You are just like that first grader to me. I just really hope you do your homework and learn the truth about the things that you insult people for knowing.
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
@@villanelle529 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, LOVERS OF PLEASURES more than lovers of God - 2Timothy 3:1-4. So your response doesn't surprise me. Many people think giving short time pleasure to their bodies will somehow "heal" their sorrows or depressions or help them unwind. I have come to the knowledge and understanding that a "quick fix" is not a good fix. Jesus, aka the Word of God, is a more permanent "fix." Not many will accept this truth; but to those who do, He will heal them and give them true life, that is not of this world. No more trying to find fulfillment in life by sexual pleasure or drunkenness or material posessions or by being liked by people. I no longer have the burden of trying to make sure i don't offend people, no more feeling bad about using a female for my own pleasure, no more spending money on material things that i think will impress others or bring me short lived happiness. Jesus changed my heart, which in turn changes my look on life and how i should live it. It is not problem-free, but i would never exchange my current way of living life with my past ways. Jesus gives a very different and longer lasting joy than sex ever could. I pray that you find that joy in your life. God Bless You!
@joemcginnis62395 жыл бұрын
@David Ortiz No. I think you mean "were my ancestors form from the dust of the earth?" To that my answer is "Yes. In the image of our God, my oldest ancestor was formed."
@kingjamestres5 жыл бұрын
I'm not gonna lie that bathsheba joke had me in tears because it just brought back memories of all the times the preacher cracked corny jokes. I always say the irony of Christianity is that Jesus was a rock star of his time who literally sought out the worst of society and mingled with them. He didn't judge them or tell them they were horrible he even defended them from others.
@MPHswayze2 жыл бұрын
"Took a little peek-a-boo?" 👀
@TexboyGamer Жыл бұрын
He didn’t accept their actions though. He told them they needed to repent. He didn’t surround himself with sinners because he condoned their actions, but he wanted them to change
@jaihummel5057 Жыл бұрын
"He didn't judge them" Have you read the Gospel?
@codybasore27475 жыл бұрын
20:41 “me threither” from Tom goes unnoticed and I feel like it deserves more recognition 😂 he looks around like “anything?”
@jobansand2 жыл бұрын
Being Christian is about following Christ's teachings. Christ dined with prostitutes, tax collectors, etc. He never pretended ugliness doesn't exist, or stayed away from it. The opposite. Norm Macdonald was a fantastic Christian comedian, especially on his show. He made edgy jokes with foul language that wasn't mean to people and I think often poked fun at bitterness.
@zacharyparker37598 ай бұрын
As a non believer, I agree
@fredsmith2067 Жыл бұрын
The punchline for "Dracula with hay fever" should have been Nosfer-achoo
@bigol92237 ай бұрын
That's not even the same vampire and it still makes more sense.
@1293Truck5 жыл бұрын
Why do women love Jesus? Because he was hung like this (Spreads out arms)
@MrPwner30004 жыл бұрын
Stamper
@jeremylynch30394 жыл бұрын
I will remember this joke for the rest of my life. Thank you for giving me this gift of blessed holiness. I can’t wait to tell this joke over and over again.
@LoddyDah4 жыл бұрын
Oh my 😄😆😅😂
@maxonmendel57574 жыл бұрын
this joke shocked and violated me the first time I heard it.
@sam-gu4qy4 жыл бұрын
That's stampers joke
@TEdwardsBowtie5 жыл бұрын
20:41 Tom's disappointment in saying "Me three-ther" then cutting his eyes at Christina
@richgallegos58075 жыл бұрын
This is possibly the best discussion on Christianity I've seen in a long, long time. I never knew that Pete Holmes ' ideology was so close to my own.
@matthewsmith3078 Жыл бұрын
Check out his podcast if you haven’t already.
@andrewtaylor80308 ай бұрын
Four years later. I think there's more of us than we realize...
@thebenforever4 жыл бұрын
Pete's fake laugh freaking slays me. Dude is fantastic.
@keeverw128 ай бұрын
I have been a Christian since I was a child, Im 45 now. I take the bible seriously. I question everything. And I love comedy! I love Pete Holmes, especially the batman stuff, or ProfessorX bits where he fires the Xmen. I love Bill Burr. I love watching Kill Tony will all their good and bad amateur comedians. I can quote so many lines from great comedians. My coworkers laugh every time I start a story with, one time I heard this comedian say... I am a REAL PERSON! I am not FAKE! Jesus was a real person, and not fake too! But church people are so incredibly fake, itś so off putting. They are some of the biggest reasons people avoid Jesus, and itś so bass'ackwards from how it should be. Keep on doing what you do, Petey! You are awesome! And do you really think God doesn´t love some Metallica, of course He does, everyone loves Metallica! Even if Jesus really is tone'deaf, He loves some enter sandman!
@Dj13e365 жыл бұрын
Everything breaks Pete's heart.
@havi01334 жыл бұрын
It's sad to see idiots all around you haha
@dmjdmj5 жыл бұрын
This was a delight. Thank you.
@zoedujour5 жыл бұрын
"How many lollipops can you lick before a Jew goes to hell?" Also, The Holy water joke. Naw. The punchline is "you boil the Hell out of it..."
@lundylow2 жыл бұрын
His made-up joke set-ups are funnier than any of the Christian Jokes. I love his commentary here, and how as critical as he is, he's still coming at it from a compassionate perspective. I grew up very similar to Pete, and SO much about Christian culture makes me cringe so hard.
@MPHswayze2 жыл бұрын
You're right about his jokes. But even if the jokes sucked, his aww shucks doofus preacher voice would still be hilarious on it's own
@mr.doctorcaptain11242 жыл бұрын
One of the hardest parts of Christian culture is that many, many, MANY people who call themselves Christians are not a Christian at all. I knew more than one child molester at my church growing up. More than one dude... and every one of them had the same thing in common. They were terrified that they were going to go to hell. So what did they do? Go to church on Sundays, call themselves a Christian, molest their children the other 6 days of the week. Those guys aren't Christians. They aren't good people. They're evil. They're the evilest of evil. And they're the ones who go around telling everyone that they're a Christian. An actual Christian and lover of Christ you should know by their actions, not because they tell you.
@noeeon9910 Жыл бұрын
I found Jesus on my own and I always get creepy vibes from the " Christian culture " too friendly, like it's forced. And these are the goody two shoes I normally avoid.
@FakingANerve8 ай бұрын
@@noeeon9910Where was he? I looked for a couple of decades, and I swear I checked EVERYWHERE! ...at least twice, _and_ with help, but you come along and find him on your own. You're making the rest of us look bad! Sorry, not sorry - I couldn't help myself. Cheers.😁🍻
@edwileo56608 ай бұрын
@@FakingANerve Is this an example of cringe Christian comedy?
@BigGuyBiggerTruck2 жыл бұрын
this is still one of my favorite ep. idk what it is about pete but he hits this part of my brain that ends up in uncontrollable laughter
@AsterixtheGaul75 жыл бұрын
Picture of Jesus on the cross from the waist up, captioned "Jesus loves you this much". This was an actual Church's sign for a very long time, I think it still is. Always makes me chuckle
@borismuller865 жыл бұрын
AsterixtheGaul7 that’s legitimately amazing. Probably a bit sacrilegious but also kinda deep.
@seanclements62063 жыл бұрын
Same picture "nailed it"
@MrPJMav84065 жыл бұрын
Soooooo perfectly said. I love each moment of YMH, But wow. This moment is so true.
@rickycarrillo78215 жыл бұрын
“Christians have a childish sense of humor” *farts into microphone*
@HawksNestYT2 жыл бұрын
What he’s describing is like hanging out with religious family. There’s a barrier from actually connecting when you can’t just be raw and funny
@JakeGunst867 ай бұрын
Re: sacred raisin cakes, that’s a reference to Ashera - baking cakes for the goddess Ashera was a fertility ritual. “…they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”
@willysnipes70045 жыл бұрын
It's boil the HELL out of it. Still a bad joke, but they could at least get the bad joke right lol
@infinite-sadness5 жыл бұрын
right. it literally doesn't work without the word hell. The word has to be in the bible somewhere, why can't they say it?
@Brismo75 жыл бұрын
You arent allowed to say H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.
@infinite-sadness5 жыл бұрын
@@Brismo7 that's fucking stupid as shit
@TheSquareOnes5 жыл бұрын
"X the devil out of it" is also a real thing that people say, so the current version of the joke isn't wrong. Also it doesn't matter because they both suck.
@1sadsexually2sadsexually545 жыл бұрын
Wait really? they say Hell in my church and in ccd too lol thats fucking weird
@conner64175 жыл бұрын
One time I was In Wyoming and there was a mormon TV channel that had it's own Mormon Seinfeld rip off. It was INSANE
@MidwesternFilthMixes5 жыл бұрын
SlenderFam 27 that never happened
@zachsnow3925 жыл бұрын
Do you remember the name of this show? It sounds awesome
@IAmRedherrings5 жыл бұрын
I didn't know mormons watched tv
@kozhikkaalan5 жыл бұрын
Oh god I really want to watch that show now XD
@conner64175 жыл бұрын
I couldn't tell you, I was in a motel in Cody Wyoming, all I remember was Bringham young in the channel title, the whole channel was mormon rip offs of TV shows people would know
@pitobrain5 жыл бұрын
"Do you think King David took a little peekaboo?"
@Ty-ri7dy3 жыл бұрын
No, he had a guard pull her ass down from there and he raped her. *badum-tiss* And then had her husband killed. *groans*
@tyguy62963 жыл бұрын
i can't believe how insightful his views were. comedians are truly modern philosophers in disguise. the bit about people "seeing the fruits" of that connection and "pretending they have it"... ive never heard a more accurate assessment of the self righteousness found in some religious communities (across all faiths, as well).
@tommystratpaul4 жыл бұрын
How the fuck is this the most inspirational video to my faith in years... dude this guy’s unintentional preaching is more interesting and engaging than what I’ve heard in church in years...
@christophersailer93265 жыл бұрын
Hey how do you get christian comedy? You get regular comedy and boil the funny shit out of it
@kighr35 жыл бұрын
Confirmed: Tom Segura is into pegging
@Soihgee5 жыл бұрын
Piss on me, beat me.
@mightybaloo18805 жыл бұрын
I grew up going to church and I can tell you exactly how the bored kid got roped into that. He was the funny one in the youth group and the yanked him in for this filming because they figured he'd get a real kick out of it. I was one of the funny kids, and I drew all the time and I got pulled into crap like this all the time. Pete's a hundred percent right about the whole shame and not being able to have doubts, or a life, when you're in that lifestyle. I remember just having doubts about my faith and just asking my youth pastor "how do you know? How can you take something on faith alone?" And I remember him telling me if I didn't know, then maybe I didn't belong in his church. Real great mentoring there chief. Another example I remember is one of my good friends at the time was the leader of the youth praise brand, he was out of high school, he was seeing this woman. She was one of the, I don't knpw what they called them, chaperones I guess. But they had to come forward and apologize to the entire youth group for their "inappropriate" relationship, like any of us gave a damn. They were both consenting adults, nobody knew they were sleeping together, I did, but that was because I was their friend, but I guess some parent saw them kissing in the parking lot instead of being in the service and went and tattled on them. It was no one's business what they did behind closed doors, or when they were alone. It was ridiculous. I stopped going so regularly after that. It's crazy how Christians so often will eat their own. And before anybody jumps in, I don't want to hear the whole rant that every body goes on about religion and specifically Christianity. I'm not inviting that. Frankly, I see it as just another form of proselytizing and I already bowed out of one version of that, I don't need the other. Sorry for the rant.
@spencerborkowski21762 жыл бұрын
Very late to this comment. I just wanted to say, I am an atheist, and that hurt hearing about how your pastor let you down like that. I'm ok with other people having faith, but I cannot stand how the structured part of Christianity is so far from who Jesus was. The man went to the beaten, broken, and sinners, and became their friends. Not as things to be pitied, but to be treated as equals.
@TK0_23_2 жыл бұрын
You are talking about a surface level christianity. People who tell you, you can't have doubts, you must act a certain way. But we are human. we must admit that, submit to the will of God, die to self, become Christlike. When this path is honestly followed, and not given lip service to, to impress others, things begin to change. When you're praying for what God wants for you, not what you want from God, little by little you will begin to see the power of God. You will see miracles. And it will come at a terrible cost too you. Thats the dying to self. It is difficult. It is emotionally wrenching to turn your back on your innate will for comfort and getting things your way and even for your very life. John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. If you want to see the power of God all you have to do ask and do. But don't ask your pastor ... well, you can ask you pastor.... but you need to ask God. If you are honest with youself and Him, He will answer. Hebrrws 11:6 Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
@spencerborkowski21762 жыл бұрын
@@TK0_23_ That's a long winded way of saying "You just didn't do it right"
@noeeon9910 Жыл бұрын
This is the reason I don't go to church.. It all seems so fake.
@Urm0mz Жыл бұрын
And that's why churches are really gambling halls where the house always wins. Try complaining at a casino that THE GAMES ARE RIGGED Make friends with the asphalt Be a theologian
@BrendanArntz3 жыл бұрын
I love genuinely mad Pete was at the dracula with hayffever joke
@linkflorestv872 жыл бұрын
Tim's face at the end when Christine mentions the "holy raisin cake" act... 🤣 love your show, put it back in Stitcher Radio without a paywall! 🤣
@devynbowman21894 жыл бұрын
That moment when your name is Devyn, you know your way to the mall, and you like Oreo cheescake
@SetShot425 жыл бұрын
A few Christian jokes I actually like: Jesus says "Those who live by the sword, die by the sword." I think we can take His word for it; I mean He was a carpenter who died being nailed to a piece of wood. Nobody ever talks about Jesus's miracle of having twelve close friends in His thirties! Jesus told John to come forth and receive eternal life. But John came fifth and received a toaster. And by the way, the holy water one was a butchering from the original mediocre punchline: you boil the hell out of it! (But 'oh no! You can't say hell!' 🙄)
@adams14585 жыл бұрын
lol preach!
@Cobralalalala5 жыл бұрын
The person making the video wouldn't let them say Hell...
@KevlarGorilla5 жыл бұрын
And that's the rub. A Christian joke that's dirty or mocks Christianity isn't a Christian joke. For example: Jesus was popular with the ladies because he was hung like *this* (stretching your arms out) Or another: Even Jesus in the desert said three times, get behind me Satan.
@kevinw7125 жыл бұрын
there's gotta be a joke of "even Jesus couldn't absolve the sins of these things" to be had in there somewhere...
@werealljustpeoplepodcast38055 жыл бұрын
Pete thinking the fart mic was a sound byte in the full episode had me laughing my ass off.
@menwithven81145 жыл бұрын
Fart mic is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Does anyone like it besides Christina? Tom certainly doesnt seem to like it.
@Lugrashio5 жыл бұрын
@@menwithven8114 best idea ever
@werealljustpeoplepodcast38055 жыл бұрын
@@menwithven8114 I mean I clearly liked it, otherwise I wouldn't have commented about it.
@menwithven81145 жыл бұрын
@@werealljustpeoplepodcast3805 obviously some people like it I wasnt being literal
@Hu1ud5 жыл бұрын
Thats all she can do to be funny
@ImJustSaijan4 жыл бұрын
Never knew Pete Holmes was so insightful, I'm an even bigger fan now. Rock it Bad man!
@JUNKO____ Жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes is a great example of someone with a healthy and forward moving relationship with religion. If we had more people like this, we'd be in a better spot for sure.
@mickylove767 ай бұрын
He’s a believer though. it is ‘healthy’ to a believer.
@larsvanbarbecue86545 жыл бұрын
A better answer to Count Dracula would be a nosferAChoo
@calviincalifornia40485 жыл бұрын
bless you my son :) i was thinking NOSEferatoo but thats even better :D
@Dyrim5 жыл бұрын
That joke is of the exact same quality as the original.
@conorfrog5 жыл бұрын
That was my guess! Too good for this vid it seems XD
@iamhouse21575 жыл бұрын
A different joke but along the same lines i just thought of. What do you call God when he has hay-fever? Sneezus
@mitchjump64155 жыл бұрын
nah this was a worse punchline
@chuck1prillaman5 жыл бұрын
"The Book of Job is a laugh riot."---Gore Vidal
@sonyap.65125 жыл бұрын
I was raised in a church like this...anything not of the church was called "worldly". There were very few outings the youth had that were truely fun. The most fun we would have was when a group broke away to break the church rule...aka being normal teenagers!😂
@winstonmarlowe52542 жыл бұрын
JW?
@Janzer_2 жыл бұрын
Like usual it's about control. Such a basic human trait.
@theophrastusbombastus1359 Жыл бұрын
@@winstonmarlowe5254 You forgot the E
@winstonmarlowe5254 Жыл бұрын
@@theophrastusbombastus1359 what
@ragnorucca66372 жыл бұрын
I dont know why but i laughed way too hard at pete talking about the hairy faced people at the airport, its so true 😂
@VanWayward2 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes just became my favorite comedian for that point and explaination.. on point.
@CranyumHipHop5 жыл бұрын
I have a new found respect for Pete Holmes. 🙏🏼
@stevencooper11035 жыл бұрын
I've always loved his style
@MikeOxymorons2 жыл бұрын
I met Pete Holmes in a room full of comedians. We were close up face to face for about 5 seconds. Without knowing anything about him, in that moment, I got an impression that he was like a close friend of mine - and in this video, with these insights - I see how true that impression was/is.
@MikeOxymorons2 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes is so on the money. Being real is the thing. Burr is very truth.
@JohnDoe-cd6ro4 жыл бұрын
You don't need to hear Jimmy Fallon's laugh to know it's fake.
@ROFO795 жыл бұрын
My dad was a pastor and used to tell us Christian jokes. Ex. Did you know they had cars in the Bible days? It says the disciples were all in one Accord. It also says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in his Fury. Why did circumcisers have so much in the Bible days? They got to keep all the tips. (This was considered off color) Yeah.
@Fryguysun5 жыл бұрын
I smirked.
@victorvelie39805 жыл бұрын
Those sound like regular dad jokes with religious themes
@Dermot29275 жыл бұрын
I chortled.
@noitallmanaz5 жыл бұрын
was he the BTK killer?
@ElvishShellfish5 жыл бұрын
Which of the disciples was best at basketball? Peter. He denied Jesus three times.
@celestialnubian2 жыл бұрын
That was genuinely profound Pete Holmes. Excellent commentary that sums up why people can't stand evangelicals.
@fiolettbjorn7461 Жыл бұрын
What a wonderful, real conversation. I gleaned quite a bit from these fine folks.
@NothinSnooty5 жыл бұрын
Never liked Pete Holmes before but this is hilarious and he is spot on about what Christianity should be about
@kellybarthel80608 ай бұрын
Should watch his batman skits, if you have ot. Fi d them very funny.
@893loses5 жыл бұрын
This made me like Pete again
@XenoTravis5 жыл бұрын
Again? Why didn't you like him before?
@taxidrivernwo5 жыл бұрын
@@XenoTravis Watch him on Jim and Sam
@MidwesternFilthMixes5 жыл бұрын
taxidrivernwo yep I saw him and that pansy Judd on Jim n Sam
@893loses5 жыл бұрын
@@XenoTravis I got into you made it weird hardcore for the first two years or so and I felt a drop in quality so I stopped for a while, just sayin this reminds me why I like him
@dave-hc2vi5 жыл бұрын
@@MidwesternFilthMixes He said a couple cringy things, but mostly took Norton's side. He was stuck in an argument between his boss and another one of his peers. Seemed like he was mostly trying to stay neutral and out of it. When you're an adult you'll understand there are situations where it's in your best interest to not stand on a soap box shouting your beliefs. Sometimes you do what you can to smooth over a situation and have it end. Not every single argument is a good point at which to make your stand. Learn to pick your battles and maybe someday you'll be successful like Pete. Judd was the one who was a real douchebag, but that's normal for Judd. Not sure why people were upset at Judd being Judd.
@calesingleton98545 жыл бұрын
This is wild. Pete is interesting cause he’s all over the comedy world but I feel like he’s still so criminally underrated. Nice Try, The Devil is one of the funniest albums I’ve ever heard
@jwardbass44523 жыл бұрын
12:20 I haven’t laughed this hard in sooo long lmfao the lack of reaction followed by a jump cut
@swpost3 Жыл бұрын
I have family that’s “super religious” and a cousin that whispers when he talks about drinking ginger beer. GINGER BEER! The thought process is amazing. You believe Jesus turned water into wine, God knows all and is always watching but if you whisper then ur getting away with something Jesus would call you a dork for.
@illnades18974 жыл бұрын
“Totally a Devin.” Cuts deep
@jacksongirardeau79835 жыл бұрын
Another Christian here agreeing with Pete's very well put point. There shouldn't be two different experiences, and we shouldn't be so uptight and segregated from the rest of the culture. Bill Burr is my favorite and I encourage others to check him out with an OPEN mind. They're just jokes ppl.
@Quaquadaqu5 жыл бұрын
jackson girardeau Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving - Ephesians 5:4 You’re going to hell, buddy.
@jacksongirardeau79835 жыл бұрын
@@Quaquadaqu I think Burr does it to bring joy which matters and builds others up which would be a Christian principle although I know he has stated he is not a Christian. That passage is also talking about one's own speech, not a third party. Christians are called to speak the truth in love. Telling someone they are going to hell because they like a comic misses the entire purpose of that chapter of the bible btw
@ALL-rf9gl5 жыл бұрын
@@Quaquadaqu if you truly believe someone is going to hell for cussing, you're a fucking idiot. You shouldn't take a book that was written second hand, translated and rewritten hundreds of times as literal word for word on how to live your life and pass judgement on others. - Josh 1: 19
@Quaquadaqu5 жыл бұрын
ALL41REVIEW Enjoy Hell, buddy!
@ALL-rf9gl5 жыл бұрын
@@Quaquadaqu actually all I have to do is ask for forgiveness before I die. Even if I just killed someone so I'm good thanks.
@m359265 жыл бұрын
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choir boy
@alexguskov255 жыл бұрын
Too early man.
@goleft40885 жыл бұрын
😂🤣ouch!!!!😃🤣
@kevinw7125 жыл бұрын
I picture the kids in this video hearing that, and having like a genuine kind of confused innocence going "wait... I don't get it". I feel so bad for them, what do they look to be, maybe 16, on average? They've obviously known nothing but the total deep end of that world from their parents since the moment they could talk.
5 жыл бұрын
BAH-ziiiingah. Yeow! and a woowoowoo..
@MrUndersolo5 жыл бұрын
Okay, that was pretty good...
@jesses54652 жыл бұрын
If you never saw Pete's show crashing it is incredibly underrated and a must-watch!
@andrewiglinski1482 жыл бұрын
“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” I swear that bit from proverbs is telling you to jerk it as much as you want just don’t sleep with someone until you find your other half.
@davidlrogers5 жыл бұрын
lol 20:39 "me neither *glances at his wife*"
@EricAbroad3 жыл бұрын
As an ex-Christian (raised into it and left around 20 years of age), this video hits so close to home that I cant stop watching. It sums up how the original intentions of the following's founders is so likely skewed by this point that it's basically nonsense. Would love if you had him on again!
@kensteel98723 жыл бұрын
You never were a Christian
@liquidpza2 жыл бұрын
@@kensteel9872 How very Christian of you to pass such judgement. Tees and pees, big fella.
@nailatiylluf2 жыл бұрын
You may have just not been around the right people. There are absolutely churches filled with people who are self righteous and twisting things for their own benefit, but there are many churches filled with wonderful people who just want to share the gospel and use the original text as their guide.
@anthonyzullo2 жыл бұрын
Pete's right though. The problem with most religions is that for some reason you're told to suppress your most human of needs, instincts etc. When it's not possible. It's not healthy or safe for men to not regularly empty some built up testosterone. Like not even that far though. Look at the kids trying to tell jokes. They arnt laughing or having fun because they realize the absurdity but ate afraid to not be chastised or published for it and that's wrong. ESPECIALLY! Since religion isn't like, real. Not in the faith sense but on a tangible one. People being abused or published over shit you can't quantify or is really tangible is absurd to me. Imagine being punished because you don't know the paragraph on page 79 in dealthy hollows, like excuse me fam? No thank you. My friend Ryan growing up was forced to be a catholic right. Ryan's a creepy adult now.
@davidcook6808 ай бұрын
So you spit on Jesus. Not cool man.
@joshporter52053 жыл бұрын
Pete Holmes just screams "I was raised christian!".
@seandmoore69227 ай бұрын
Ex-Christian of forty years here. Pete is my new best friend.
@joshuasmith4492 жыл бұрын
I appreciate this whole, very authentic discussion.
@pyloros69065 жыл бұрын
Wow, didn't know about Pete's past in the church. Growing up I felt the exact same way about the fakeness and hypocrisy. I wouldn't have left if people had been more honest like this
@ultimatedespairgamer67225 жыл бұрын
I mean Idk if they could be more honest, religion is by its nature based on deception and manipulation, that not to accuse ppl of the church of intentionally lying, it could be self deception as well
@nailatiylluf2 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry you had that experience. I’m hoping that at some point you’ll try another church because many are filled with wonderful people.
@UncleNath8 ай бұрын
Pete is so impressive. His comedy is theology and philosophy and very, very funny.
@johnnyedwards69915 жыл бұрын
Holy Crap. Pete Holmes just won me over. I had chalked him up to being dorky....but the dude is fucking funny. Respect to YMH for this booking. I wasn't going to watch this entire interview, but now I'm gonna TRY IT OUT.
@cat.batshon2 жыл бұрын
Really insightful but i don’t find him funny. I only laugh at Nick Mullen nowadays. I’m alone and possibly depressed! But I’m working on it! Therapy👊🏿👊🏿
@jacobmccain80822 жыл бұрын
"You certainly can!" That look that Tom gives at the end is by far the funniest thing in this Christian joke video.
@thewhiskeypriest19338 ай бұрын
I’ve actually heard the holy water joke before but they said “boil the hell out of it.” But I think they couldn’t say that because the word “hell” is technically a swear word.
@TigerGreene Жыл бұрын
Oh my god I'm dying laughing. Tears streaming down my face. Why, WHY doesn't Pete put stuff this raw and real in his standup? He would murder!
@bradleyisgladley10 ай бұрын
Listen to his podcast. It’s all it is! You made it weird by Pete holmes
@360.Tapestry10 ай бұрын
it's the drugs... and searching. the drugs just shovel the snow, you still have to drive out
@captross078 ай бұрын
Stand up shows, especially specials, are polished and rehearsed. This is more off-the-cuff, which is great but you can’t have that too much in a standup show b/c you’re working with a very specific time limit.
@joansmith693 жыл бұрын
Christina's vitriolic comments about their apperance and Tom's halfheartedly calling these kids nerds are a bit heartbreaking. They are teens. Teens hates everything mandatory, and this whole joke vid screams "fun youth pastor activity!!!". Pete was really on point though!
@green492852 жыл бұрын
Yeah wasn't a fan of that part.
@MrMaltasar3 жыл бұрын
Hands down my favorite YMH clip ever. Pete's rage is amazing!
@TheMightymolar2 жыл бұрын
I have a similar upbringing as Pete and his point is dead on about christian music, comedy, etc. and acceptance of frailty and honesty.
@ericseitzler81 Жыл бұрын
I remember gonna to a Superbowl party at my church and I was super excited and then after we started watching it they turned the TV off during the commercials because they show beer ads,I left very quickly.i hate how many Christians hide their head in the sand like we don't see that stuff at home,the world is a tough place and you can't hide from evil no matter what.