They’ll pretend to care for & love you when nothing could be further from the truth. This can be family too.

If somebody eggs you on till you lose your temper...they are baiting you. If they use manipulation, lies, and talk about you unkindly, they're baiting you. And If they make promises (future faking) they don't keep, they're not only baiting you...they're making your life a living hell. Do you want that?

My son called them emotional vampires”. He was smarter than me. He has passed away, but his wisdom lives forever.

And the only thing you can do about them is to walk away, and stay away. They do not, cannot, will not change, ever.

I was born into a nest of narcissists. Hugging the walls worked for only so long. People, you must document everything. It will end up in court eventually.

The narcissist I knew used to play mind games with me, I would let it all build up then loss it, so it made me look like the crazy one, they are pure evil 👿

As my cousin once told me every so often you have to pick the weeds from your garden of life - how TRUE!!

simple but effective, dont try to diagnose or label someone. bad people are bad people

I like what he’s saying. No need to diagnose what type of cluster b your dealing with as they ALL can have traits of the whole spectrum. If they are cruel to you over a period of time, then they are a cruel person. That’s it!!!

Sadly I had to pass 30 years of age before I could clearly see my father was an emotional abuser. What an amazing freedom and healing.

My own family, Dr Phil. Many of them have these traits. My dad, 2 stepmothers and a half sister. I’ve had to get away from all of them. Also a couple of men I dated and an ex husband. I attract these types of people because of my parents/caregivers growing up. I now trust my intuition about people I meet.

Dr. Phil: “Who in your life do you have a uneasy feeling about?” Me: “the government”

I’m dealing with a crazy coworker bent on making me look bad at work.

If you are left with one friend or maybe two, consider yourself lucky. I have two awesome friends left after I walked away from my own family.,even my own kids. Trust your instincts and bravely walk away.

After dealing with a Narcissistic family, I call that uneasy feeling "Narc-dar"!

I AGREE WITH THIS LIVING WITH A NARCISSIST FOR 40 YEARS. I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE.

Thank you. It’s hard when it’s a family member. But it’s a matter of survival when they threaten your life😩

Five years ago I blocked every classmate from high school on fb. They only cared to continue what states of misery they were in from high school to present day. I don't even wonder about them until this video because they are the exact definition of a baiter. Keep your circle small very small, NEVER talk about anything but benign conversation if you cannot avoid them. If you only talk about the weather they can only blame you about the rain.

30 years I dealt with this type of person. I have freed myself but I am afraid for my children that still have to be around him. Nothing I did or how hard I worked was ever enough. It's like living with your worst enemy.

I had 3 very toxic narscisstics for 25 years. It got so toxic my body got toxic ended up bed ridden, it's been 9 months now. I have separated, no contact. It is the most difficult thing to heal from. They wanted me dead. I am a light worker, empath, psychic, see future events, energy healer, and astro project. Beware all of you, who have these abilities they gravitate towards these kind of people. Beware of someone who has healed themselves. I am not a victim I am victorious, because what I have learned.

I was married to someone exactly like this for 10 years. Had no idea what I was in until I couldn’t take it anymore. Educated myself and my abusive marriage finally made sense on how crazy the ex Narc really was. Thank you Dr. Phil

Had a friend from grammar school, but as we got older, I noticed the little put down remarks in front of others, and say things behind my back, that I overlooked, until one last time in my house with our close friend. Finally mentioned to her later, but her written apology was turned around and blamed me. Sometimes you have to let certain people go, because they're not real friends.Thank you Dr Phil for this eye opening series that is so desperately needed.

There should be a law against Narcissistic people taking innocent people to court for things they were doing . These people need locked 🔒 up in prison for doing this .

My sister has been a baiter and narcissist to me my whole life. We have the same parents but my dad raised her to feel she was better than me because I lived with my mother and she live with him. When we grew up and she saw me accomplishing more than her she went into envy mode. Everyone around us seen it from a child. I see it so clear as an adult. You named everything you have done to me. Your Narcissist video was spot on too. My sister never wanted me to accomplish anything, but everything I do she copy.

This was my family. I walked away. My dead husband was this way. He lost control when I filed for divorce. He then committed suicide. I have very few people around me because of this reason. I trust very few people because of this and other actions. I trust my instincts more then anything. If your gut feeling tells you something is wrong it usually it. We have a repairman that leaves an uneasy feeling. I did tell the landlord. He does try to send someone else. This person reminds me of my father in the worst possible way. He brings up memories I got past. I deal it the best I can when he has to come.

I have come across SO many people within my lifetime that have done every one of those things. This is all so true!

Thank you. I can relate to what you say. I have family members that are narcissistic & threatened my life. I’ve cut them out finally. Has not been easy😩

I have an amazing instinct for reading people rather quickly. I will literally ignore them if they are in my presence, as if they are invisible. If i have to come right out and tell them to leave me alone, I do. Then I start documenting if they continue to try to bait me, or suck me into their drama crap. I didn't come here to play with people like that. The more you let them know they aren't in your circle, the easier it gets to push them on out.

So many people commenting how for them it's their family. It was mine as well. WAS being the operative word here. I cut ties years ago and wish I had done it years before I did-it would have saved a lot of head and heartaches, not to mention a TON of money. I can't imagine treating somebody this way :( Life is too short folks-make your own family out of people who have good hearts. It makes all the difference. While I cut ties entirely, my husband distanced himself significantly from his family as it was a similar dynamic. We're both so much happier and our marriage is healthier without the negative influences in our lives. Be GOOD to yourselves, people!

God! This feels like almost everyone these days! Even the folks that are victims aspire to be like the narcissists!

I threw all these people out of my life along with my narcissistic ex. Very freeing.

I have no one in my life that I can trust. Everyone that I have allowed into my life have abused me, including my own kids. I do not have people in my life anymore because of it.

Dr. Phil , my observations agree with yours . Also, I think the hardest thing for people to face is that the behaviors you mention are intentional , because good normal sane people would never dream of acting like that , it is very hard to imagine some doing it, specially if they are parents or other family members. Also I have came to the conclusion that "narcissistic " parents sabotage their children lives on purpose because they look at life as a contest/competition that they have to win at any cost.

I feel like the ones who are really good at it, the master baiters, are the ones you have to watch out for.

True, the back stabber are sly and double faced. They take what they need from one while harassing you at your neighbors. They know you well enough to fake their friendship with you while their intention is to spread believable lies about you.

So many people are narcissistic, it’s really sad, some people had terrible childhoods. Narcissism is a defensive self preservative disease, but ultimately it is so lonely for these people. Most of my family are incredibly narcissistic but I just feel sorry for them now that I get older , I’m so relieved I’m not life them

It’s downright epidemic. I have gone full no contact with so many of them it’s ridiculous. In the small community of older folks I live in, there are 3 out of 20.

Deeply grateful for all these ongoing discussions...so much baiting at the work place

These awful personality traits seem generational. And no matter what you try to do to make things less stressful, it doesn't matter. These folks are dangerous. Run for your life, literally!

Lessons learned late in life. A strong person otherwise I wouldn't be here. You remind me so much of my deceased dad. Finding the resources to fix my situations have been trying. Multiple things and finding the right doors to open. My son's name is also Phillip. Have followed you for years. Trying to trust my gut to navigate it all. I am essentially responsible for my two children and all household responsibilities etc... I am grateful you put this out there for guidance. I truly had my blinders on and attracted alot of toxic people. Married to one and the exit strategy my turning point. Known person 27 years and maried for 26 years. Truly, didn't know the person and ignored my initial hunch of this person. Last few years person entirely different. Setting more boundaries. Have always done that. Person a good sales person with bs promises and has lied in all dealings with me. Now punished with silence tantrums, financial control etc... A Covert Narcissist which it took me this long to see the full picture...Ouch ! The person has no empathy or love in his heart. All has been an act. 😇🕊😪

Hi Dr. Phil. Thank you for what you’re doing here it’s extremely vital what you’re doing. This abuse is largely hidden from view and you explain it so clearly that anyone can learn from it. Thank you 🙏

I can't begin to tell you how helpful this message is. Thank you Dr. Phil for sharing your life experience.

I had a person who I thought was my friend, I confided in them & they in me, I was preparing to leave a country I had had spent nine years in, not because I wanted to but because I had no real choice at the time & on our last meeting they said the most cruel & hurtful thing they could think to say to me, based on their assumptions about my situation, it was almost as if they wanted to see me leave with my tail between my legs, instead of with my head held high. This was almost three years ago & it still hurts when I think about it. The thing is with back stabbers is you don’t always see it coming .

I just had two of these types of women try to sabotage my business. Both of them covered in tattoos. I just read a study on people who are covered in tattoos. The study distinguished between people who were covered in 25% or less of their body in tattoos and people who were covered 25% or more. 25% or more are often narcissistic, sociopathic, masochistic. Beware of these folks. The two women I'm talking about hooked on to each other quickly and started with the toxic gossip and backstabbing. Now, they're slamming me online and getting people who have never met me or have been to my business to post 1-star reviews about my business. Some are the parents...the enablers. And, yes, the uneasy feeling built up the more I started seeing signs of them trying to take over. I would like to learn how to get these people gone early without setting them off. How does one do that?

I think its not only important to be aware of it in others but more importantly in ourselves.

Thank you Dr. Phil for sharing all of this information. I have an itty bitty Associates in Psychology, but I am currently raising my severely abused stepdaughter that was raised by a mother that is clearly unstable. The child has approximately 5 diagnoses and I am so overwhelmed. I can say that it is a most HORRIBLE situation and I am always looking for answers. You are truly helping me understand better about people's intentions, and also teaching me how to navigate this tough situation. You are truly appreciated kind Sir ❤

My ex-husband, who is a malignant narcissist, actually defined the term ‘gaslighting’ to me, to my face. Sadly, he’s also part of Mensa. It was rough; I’m happy I’m out and getting well.

That's wild how this not only all describes my wife to the T... but I felt for years like she intentionally tries to bait me into being upset. The pain is real... im actually looking forward to this next episode

Had to recently cut off a 10 year friendship...was so heartbreaking, but I noticed she changed towards me and I saw a side of her that I hadn't before.Especially in the last few years I always felt sad after visits together...realizing how she'd made little put down comments towards me, comparing me to other friends of hers...she pressured me into taking her places...and guilted me about different things...I was the friend with a car and she wanted rides here and there... and she acted jealous of the time I spent with my daughter...she didn't seem to respect me and I caught her lying to me about things she'd said...mind games...not good. After I showed boundaries she didn't bother with me...it showed she was just using me for all those years...so sad.🥺💔

So true , lost my family. But for the good ! They don't change! They make you sick. If I now this information long time ago in live . My live would be so much better. Thank you dr.phil . 🥰💯🙏

Your helping more then you know . I had to walk away from blood family ++++++ more for peace .. not down .

I think of my mother and sister and I feel sick to my stomach. Every my downfall gives them a booster. I cut them off, yet they keep sneaking around.

Having lived with them,it was clear they saw me as a rival in every situation.Also,everyone else was a rival to them.If we are forced to deal with them,what can we do?Not everyone has the money or opportunity to get away from baiters.

2 Timothy Chapter 3

The planet is full of them these days. Losing situation.

This descibes my sister and my mother. Also many people in my workplace.

Love you Dr Phil..thank you for keeping it very real! ...for the last 5 years of my life I have walked away and gone no contact with everyone who were baiters including my entire family of origin..should have done it much earlier but hard lesson learned and never forgotten....💜

This is the definition of My husband's Siblings.. I can't stand them. It's been 3 yrs now I haven't been around them. It's been so Lovely when you don't have to Deal with Evil people

I like the way you enjoy telling us your instincts. You right on target with the inlaws, work, family,

I weeded the garden so-to-speak. It included "friends" and family. Takes courage and conviction, but its necessary for mental health and to have the freedom to be yourself. Rip yourself away from these nasty, loveless a-holes that have no business being in your life.

I agree. I see a continuum, not just Narcissism on a continuum but the whole Cluster-B +psychopathy are all on the same continuum. I would say the Cluster-B is a continuum. A person can move back and forth between Narcissism, Borderline, Histrionic and Antisocial depending on the current environmental factors they're experiencing. Extremely confident little to no neuroticism =factor 1 Psychopathy. Feeling down, depressed, failed too many times =vulnerable narcissism. Low on admirers, need to recruit more= overt. Angry, feeling numb, need danger and excitement to wake them up =Antisocial.

Thank you, Dr. Phil! Your succinct description of these people, explanation of behaviours and deliberate speech is so refreshing and makes this topic so easy to understand. My awareness of these people is growing. THANK YOU!

Love listening to your wise words. Thankfully I'm a pretty good judge of character but have let my guard down on a couple of occasions in the last year and very nearly got taken in by a baiter or two. I quickly reset my boundaries and put up that iron curtain. I won't tolerate even an inch of these people. They're dangerous. Sadly, seems there are so many amongst us these days. Keep yourself to yourself and embrace the world of inner peace. Its so good.

I used to love scary stories, I found them irresistible and thrilling..I didnt believe they were real..like the boogeyman or the guygooter..so it seemed fun....then i learned how wrong I was...THEY ARE REAL and they will get you . ... Married to my monster over 25 years. Yes, I say monster. I loved him, my barely grown children finally said mama you dont have to live like this anymore you held on till we were grown, leave him. Go! you deserve to be happy....we hurt, for you. That did it, the next time he discarded me, yes the cycle went round and round ..I left and I stayed gone...it was like someone ripped open my chest and murdered everything I ever hoped for, prayed about, dreamed of, and fought for. My life was dead. I drug my wounded bleeding self away, and found a place to try and heal. NO self respect, NO self-worth No self-confidence, barely a shred of my faith, my home, some family, friends...even my dog,most of my treasured items, he destryed things from favorite restaurants all the way to family celebrations..I was bashed, lied about, called every ugly name you could imagine, I was blamed, shunned, pitied, lied to, used, stolen from, screamed at stalked, ridiculed, tortured, thrown out like trash., and I almost lost my life ,by my own hand or his. But..I survived because I stayed gone. i am stronger, look 15 years younger, lost weight, taking care of myself, have a positive support group, have been learning who I am and finding out what she wants. I am more than just okay, in fact freedom from him has given me the chance to do something meaningful in my life..instead of fussing fighting trying failing, falling, misery, tears ,pain and violence (mental emotional and spiritual.) dark hopeless existence that was mine. ... while theres still time. The light feels good...no contact..NO CONTACT..because I know if I do...the monster might get me ..I am always looking over my shoulder because I have this gut feeling that its not about If he will, or if he might..its about how, and when he does and being ready for it. I wont poke him, or provoke him, i wont contact him at all..but I wont hide from him either..i like the light too much. .im just going to wait and pretend he doesnt exist.

Thank you for these great informative podcasts. I learned about Narcissism the hard way, after getting involved in a relationship with one. I learn more and more each time I listen to your podcasts.

It's NEVER TOO LATE to leave with your LIFE while you can!

Uneasy about mother brother and ex husband all abusers at 48 I am tired

I am now acknowledging my mistake as well. Keep giving to someone without reciprocity can be as bad. Sometimes though you just don’t see it when you truly love the person. You try to be too patient and too understanding but they lose respect totally for you.

Some people have been perfecting this behavior throughout their entire lives. They have learned to master these games. Never let a master baiter get too close to you.

This is good stuff.. I have always had a list of people in my head that give me that uneasy feeling.. Dis-ease..

I am proud to say i have 0 people like that in my life. I used to think im too sensitive, even a bit antisocial perhaps. But now i realise - i have a gift. I'm a great judge of character, i always listen to my gut and i have zero tolerance for toxic bs in my life. My husband, my family & my friends truly want the best for me as do i for them.

Frightening that this is the exact description of one of my sisters who I have banned from mine and my husband’s life because she continually tries to sabotage our life. Not allowed any longer. I told her so. She said if I want to speak to her, I have to say please Kathy. I laughed my head off. I said you have never and will never control me because you think you have power. Not now or ever! She said goodbye bitch and hung up. I said I am not going to end my last conversation with her with her disrespecting me so I opened my Bible to the very best scripture that would shock her. I haven’t heard from her since. There is no place in our lives for for such an evil creature. I am not naive though, we’re watching our backs. Best to you and yours Dr. Phil. Matthew and Kim

My blood sister is my biggest sabotager. She is narcissistic through & through. I can't stand her and she knows it. Everytime she's around - it's like dealing with satan.

Thank you Dr.Phil, because sometimes you think you know someone ...you do not !

Living in an environment where there is a split between love and hate (being resented and hated by my sister for existing, and hated and resented by my father for asking questions and being curious), it creates this unavoidable trigger with people that at some point, you know they are going to hate you, so you pick people that overtly hate you (at least, I did, until this became too painful and I chose to be alone all the time and hide within myself). I felt like the shittiest person for the longest time because I was afraid to love someone for the fear that I would switch on them and hurt them (and I do think this has happened before, and I have no subconscious control over it, so I end up losing feeling at all and leave). It's taken several years of intensive and intentional self- therapy (and I started with talk therapy with a lisenced therapist) and writing and releasing unexpressed pain into the ether, just so I can be safe in my body and not attack my mind when I feel it shifting, and instead, follow the flow until I recogize the thought process (assess if it is valid and helpful, or invalid and destructive) or emotional flow (and allow myself to connect to it, understand where it is coming from and releasing it safely). It's kind of like having feral animals living in your psyche that attach at will.

100%. Terrific take~I agree. I knew very little about any if this vast topic 10 years ago. I have been researching, studying and on an extensive deep dive the last 5 years and maybe the last 2, feel I have some sort of bearings on the veneer of these disorders-I learned, finally, in my 50’s after exposure almost destroyed the very fiber of my Soul, to start using practical assessments like you are describing. Excellent.

Ive gotten so tired of shitty people that ive isolated myself and am down to 2 friends,kids gkids. Every now and then ill get a partner but they never work out.

"I don't think borderline personality and narcissism are distinct personality disorders". Thank you!

100% this video is so important and clear. These are the people that will use you up and drain your life force energy. They show you one face when they’re really somebody else. They’ll pretend to be your friend when they’re trying to make things bad for you and trying to make you fail.

I happen to have a neighbor who enjoys provoking myself and others into anger. Then, when the neighbor is confronted, this individual will turn it around and play victim and gets away with it!!!! 😡. Sooooo frustrating!!!!. 😡.

I was married to someone like this for 23 years without me knowing. In the beginning of our marriage, my husband was fine and looked perfect. Years later in our marriage, that's when I started noticing that my husband had borderline personality disorder, paranoid schizophrenic and narcissist. My husband would blame me for everything and he only cared about himself. My husband was trying to make me fail and he emotionally abused me. He was definitely a taker, always about him. I left this marriage. I also was in two different toxic work environments. I left those jobs because of the toxic work environments.

My personnel opinion ,we all have someone around us like this ,Dr Phil explains it clearly ,We cant ignore it.

EXACTLY-"BAITERS" that is the good definition...I was a married to one, gut feeling saved me. thanks Dr. Phil, greetings from Bosnia!

When a parent outright has a problem with their adult daughter having a well paying career and believes they know better that their daughter should be a submissive wife when it's none of their business, when a parent sends your awful emails guilting you for not wanting to see them when they were cruel and nasty at random, when a parent texts your husband and you like nothing happens, honestly, this is not a life. I feel like I am living a nightmare that is just getting worse.

Dr Phil just coined the phrase "BAITERS" that encompass a group of people to avoid that I now will use

My husband is a baiter. He dresses up for work & acts differently to everyone else but when he comes home he is a psychopath. 10 years I have paid his bills & he tells everyone that he does. He takes the credit for all the work I did. He is emotionally, mentally, physically abusive. Then denies it, "that never happened!" He doesn't even have a bill in his name! Christmas is herrendous, he yells, screams, insults me especially before we go out into public. He is a different person in private vs. who he presents in public daily.

My husband of 19 years married 23 years together is a covert narc and his whole family. Mom dad brother and 2 sisters are clueless to what truly is happening in our world. 2020 spiritual connection for me but they think I am crazy.

I have been protected by our good God. If we would say our prayers and follow the 10 commandments things are so much easier! Remember what you are worth! You are made in Gods image!

In my work circle is a colleague who is a toxic narcissist. She brags that she is glorified by management (she isn't), talks about others, and begs for social media connections /access. She has no idea that some are onto her. Very uneasy feeling from day 1.

My wife was a master baiter…. Hahahahaha, but in all seriousness, she baited me like crazy and personality completely flipped years later, all my fault of course. Jekyll and Hyde 100%, would never even communicate what the issues were with me.

Answer to the question: Everybody! 😒 I'm a Narc magnet. That's what i grew up with and never knew the "healthy family values" so i always settled for what was familiar. I hope to change that by educating myself so i recognise the red flags in the future. Unfortunately this world and age is full of narcs and hard to find real honest people nowadays... 😣

My definition of BAITERS: BS’rs , Asinine, Immature, Terrible, Egomaniac, Reckless, Sanctimonious 🎯

Needed this Oh man so very Much Dr. Phil I absolutely Love ❤ you

My Son seems he has turned out like his father. We are in the same house together and I am stuck because of money. Everyday is a struggle

Dr.Phil is the man this really helps with these types of people in my life and how to deal with them when you don't feel you have an alternative.

The smell of sweet freedom. Something in my dreams.

KNOWLEDGE is POWER. Dr. Phil you're doing such good work opening the eyes of people who are still sadly naively unaware that these kinds of people exist and are prevalent & DIABOLIC!

I think there is a huge difference between feeling something inside, ie uneasy feeling, than going straight to thoughts and intellectualising a situation. I've known people who, when I ask them how they feel they tell me how they think. Very disconnected to their feelings. I was for most of my life and I believe it was training as well as personality traits and an inherited genetic component. So number one, I think, is learn how to feel and stay with those not so nice feelings and let them express themselves to you, it need only be you

Absolutely, every word is on point 👍

Boom. Great content right here. 🙌🏻