Another victim falls to the deranged alchemist simulator

Watching you cross that bridge and enter the orb room like "oh this man does not know what is about to hit him"

It's nice to see someone who went into this game blind finding squidward for the first time. This game is great but it does leave you to figure just about everything out on your own. A handful of spoiler free tips I wish I'd known sooner: -You drink potions by right clicking them in the hot bar -Spray your flask up for a shower -Push down to drink or eat things in world, you can't drink if your head is submerged -Hovering your cursor over something will show its material by the hotbar -It is dangerous but if oil is deep enough to go under you can jump in to put out fire -You can fill flasks by holding them under liquids -Your flask can hold multiple different liquids at once, if they have a reaction it will happen in the flask -The tablets don't heal, but they can be thrown -When you kick things they try to aim toward your cursor -Heavy objects moving at high speed do a lot of damage to enemies -Exploration is important but risky since the only reliable healing is in holy mountain -You can stay in holy mountain as long as you want, it won't break until you go through the door

Welcome friend. From the intro, you don’t seem like you know the craziest part of this. Good luck with figuring out wands! (135 hours and don’t understand it)

12:39 The sacrifice of oneself to the pursuit of knowledge is the highest tribute to the gods. Your first steps into the world of Finnish Witchcraft were thoroughly enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you continue your journey.

I was like, "Oh nice, he's smart enough to move out of the way of his own bombs" and the next thing you do is shoot a barrel while standing next to it. 🤣

always fun to watch someone discover Noita. I have 400 hours in the game and I still discover new stuff all the time. Mainly new ways to die.

Some non-spoiler tips: 1 Water is one of the best things you can carry, to the point that people remap the first item slot to an easier button like E (and picking up items to R) just to be able to stop themselves from dying to fire faster, it’s also really versatile, you can water yourself in advance to protect yourself from fire, use it to kill fire enemies, and someone else already mentioned toxic sludge. 2 You have more range than many enemies, and staying far and attacking while retreating lets you dodge attacks easier, enemies also don’t “spawn in”, so areas you cleared will remain somewhat safe unless an enemy goes there (also remember to pick up the gold enemies drop before it disappears). 3 when your mouse is over something, the game will tell you what it is next to your items, you can also see descriptions of what your perks, stains, and temporary effects do on the far right 4 other people mentioned this but you can edit your wands in the holy mountain, you will both learn and die a lot by doing this. 5 wands themselves have stats that the game doesn’t explain very well, cast delay is time between shots, recharge is reload time, mana max and mana recharge are more self explanatory, each spell says its mana cost, spells per cast is the number of spells per shot, and capacity is the number of spells the wand can hold. 6 You can drink potions by right clicking their inventory slot and eat/drink off the floor by pressing down. 7 Explore and experiment, there’s places to find all around no matter where you are, EVERYTHING is destructible with the right tools, and you can fly. Mix things together, drink things, stand in things, throw them at enemies and see what happens, usually it’s something that makes sense, but not always. 8 Use the terrain to your advantage, kick things into enemies, set them on fire, kill them with the explosives lying around everywhere, and more. 9 Not everything can be found through normal play, the game doesn’t give you enough hints, try things yourself first, but don’t feel bad about looking at spoilers once you’ve played a while.

"Bro what is this game? Alright, I'mma go fucking cry" is a good quote to end off the video with, and a good summary of the first 1000 hours or so of playing this game. Welcome to Noita :D

Wizard Death Simulator claims another victim. Wait until he discovers Advanced Alchemy.

Noita is probably one of the most rewarding games ive ever played. Ive got about 235 hours in it and in always learning something new. Seeing you go in blind made me remember my first dives into the depths of this game, so hopefully theres more on the way!

i wouldn't mind coming along and helping you understand the game, and learning about the controls especially and also, in this game don't be afraid to exploit ANYTHING you figure out in the game, the game is full or secrets that can only be explored by exploits, the lore of this world encourages using whatever necessary, also for a new player your first goal is the main boss at the "bottom" of the initial biomes. your main goal is the portals at the bottom until you go through the red portal. going far enough sideways in some biomes will lead to special biomes that are very different and more difficult you can ignore those until you are stronger or have more hp

Loved it! Some other helpful tips: Always have a water flask on you, it can put out undesirable stains. If you don't start with one you can empty it and fill it up when you find some water You can dilute toxic sludge into water with water, even a single drop can convert a huge pool, just shoot in it to mix! You can edit wands and swap out spells in the holy mountains, something I didn't see you do, which is understandable it doesn't technically tell you this haha Best of luck!

We're going to remind you one day for what you said, "I think I got it, there's not much to get." But legitimately well done, even went for some trick flying into the toxic rock area. I don't see any bad habits, keep on learning! Noita Veterans love it when new players share their experience, it reminds us of the days before we knew. xD

I played Noita for 250+ hours and completely forgot there's an intro with that bird... 😮 Also, I should say that even after 250+ hours, I've only finished the game once and still don't understand shit. 😂 Subscribed in hopes of seeing more Noita content.

That last game over screen is most interesting one I've seen in this game or any game ever

Your Noita experience is exactly like mine was a couple years back. There is so much to learn about this game. :D And I suck at it.

"Oh it's a bird" Experienced Noita Player: Don't worry about it.. "Okay now it's an egg" Experienced Noita Player: Don't worry about it.. "Crap, I'm on fire!" Experienced Noita Player: Don't worry about it..

Welcome to this very simple, yet very complicated, and complete game. For short, welcome to hell.

I think the single most important tip I could give for someone going in blind is just one that lets you learn more. Note that this is info that pertains to systems that already take tim to understand some spells do more than their numbers and description implies, so dont be afraid to try new things with them when you're safe to edit them

Spoiler free Noita quick guide to liquids: -Water, Brine, and Swamp will dilute Toxic Sludge. Swamp dilutes it the fastest but will make Peat as a byproduct -Concentrated Mana will convert water to more concentrated mana. It will also dissolve metal, if you spray it on a robot enemy it will deal massive damage to them -Ambrosia cannot be drank and will wear off very quickly when you move around, but if you spray it on yourself and stand still then you are virtually invincible -Acceleratatium and Levitatium can be mixed to combine their effects, but if either of them touch slime they will explode -Pheromone is useful, if you spray it on a healing enemy they will heal you until the pheromones get rinsed off -Worm Blood is also useful, if you drink it you can see in the dark. If you have the Eat Your Vegetables perk, worm blood will fill your stomach -Berserkium powers up your spells, but if you have Iron Stomach perk you can't drink it. If you pheromoned an enemy, they will attack you anyway if Beserkium is effecting you -Polymorph is a run ending liquid, avoid touching or drinking it -Water will dilute Invisibilitium and Teleportatium -Teleportatium will teleport you in the direction your cursor is pointing, so you can quickly traverse areas with it. Unstable Teleportatium will not, it will teleport you randomly. If you want to farm Teleportatium, some enemies bleed it. They will bleed more of it with More Blood perk -Acid is the quickest way to get your shit wrecked in this game, avoid messing with it for the most part -Oil will compress your hitbox if you are covered in it

So glad he got to the secret boss for sum reason

The new update added things but most importantly made more hints that point towards some new areas and secrets. Most of what Noita has in store is waiting for you to discover. The world is way WAY bigger than it seems. Oh and fun fact: you're not just a "witch", you're an alchemist lad. The game has a great mix of alchemy themes, real Emerald Tablet of Thoth philosophy, and mythology of a couple kinds. Oh and a couple old references/ jokes. If you do want to remain entranced and curious in Noita, try to avoid spoilers unless you really feel stumped and need some pointers. The official Discord community is quite good with that.

Pretty sick gameplay. Games tough, but it gets easier based on how much you know about the game. Only tip I got for you is to make sure you swap your spells on to better wands that dont suck and you should be getting much better results. The in-between shops are where you can swap spells. Wand crafting is complex so good luck!

Great vid man :D

Welcome to what will take up at minimum six hundred hours of your life. Have fun, and remember - no matter how strong you get, you always can find some new fun way to accidentally die! Also, the area next to the inventory will tell you what materials you’re hovering your mouse over. Useful in intuiting whether the pool of brightly colored liquid is going to be trouble.

very funny quality video xD

Nice vid) But i would appreciate, if u make white screen less white pls (after deaths u put those) That was like flash grenade

Welcome to the danger zone

lol not much to get….. evil laughing in the sun question

Funny I bought Noita a few days ago with the same sentiment you have. EVERYTHING sucks these days. To give you an example the last new game I bought that was good (before this) was Red Dead 2. This showed up in my STEAM suggestions and I watched some videos and I gave it a shot. It's bullshit 99% of the times but it IS fun, and the crazy shit veteran players are doing is INSANE.

Interesting to see someone new with zero knowledge trying out Noita after so long. Heads up, there is A LOT to learn.

get noitad (noitaed?)

Number 15, can I get a number 15?

It sounds like you are looking for a casual game. Noita is not a casual game.

Yeah this game is horrible (This game is way to hard for my trash skill and low IQ brain)

My dude, you gotta try and stop cussing so much, its a bit obnoxious, and takes away from viewing your video. Just try to keep it in mind next time you make a vid. Cheers!