Circa 2011. You can support my show on Patreon! / movienights Website (including videos not available on youtube!): www.phelous.com Twitter: @Obscurus_Lupa Facebook: / movienightstheseries Tumblr: / www
Пікірлер: 157
@MforMovesets6 жыл бұрын
I find this hilarious. Imagine you're like 16, going to Judo class, suddenly your Sensei tells you that there's a crime lord villain you have to defeat one day.
@Skibz7776 жыл бұрын
I saw this review in 2011, I bought a copy of 'Pocket Ninjas' in 2011. I have no regrets. Well, I have one regret: buying a copy of 'Pocket Ninjas'. Allison's review turned out to be a better sit than the actual thing.
@Arrowdodger6 жыл бұрын
"While you were reading comic books and watching Beavis and Butthead, I was studying the blade"
@FailedBard6 жыл бұрын
From the clips that you showed, it makes it look like it's secretly the most genius film ever made, but humanity hasn't yet achieved the level of enlightenment required to understand it. All college courses should be replaced with the study of this film until its secrets have been revealed to us all.
@mikekz44897 жыл бұрын
And the kids aren't even all that young or short to be called "pocket ninjas".
@Eviltwin5314 жыл бұрын
I know this movie came within a whisper (or training montage) of completely breaking you psychologically, but this review is officially my new favorite thing to watch when I'm down and need a pick-me-up.
@westprice6 жыл бұрын
I am not kidding. The fight scene between Cobra Kahn and the White Ninja was the best scene that I have ever seen ever
@godofnarf Жыл бұрын
This seems like the most incoherent movie to ever exist. I Love This.
@nikcile40346 жыл бұрын
Watching this movie is like taking discount acid
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
Bath salts from the dollar store.
@Alucard-A-La-Carte6 жыл бұрын
Despite the nightmare that this movie is, it DOES make me want to see Robert Z'dar in more comedy fare. He looks like he's having a BLAST.
@andrewollmann3046 жыл бұрын
I have never known less about what was happening in a movie.
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
Watch the movie... you'll know even less afterwards.
@Scatscar19853 жыл бұрын
"What the fuck,dude?" Looks like a perfect summation of this movie.
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
The best way to sum up Pocket Ninjas, a fever dream off moonshine transcribed to film.
@mostlymattmostly64245 жыл бұрын
Lol, one downvote? Gotta either be someone who was in the film or the one true fan. I am in awe. Edit: WHO FUCKING HATES COOKIES?!
@gwendolynwestwind97646 жыл бұрын
This film really looks like they had the footage from an unreleased movie/ T.V. pilot/something about three kids, filmed a few additional scenes, and tried to cut it together into a different story. I feel like that would explain a lot of the severe shifts in tone and coherence. Like, if you take just the bits with the kids and rearrange them, there does seem to be some kind of story with them imagining themselves into the comic book/events in the comic becoming real. Probably not a good story but at least a coherent one. I really think several scenes, including the balloon scene because the guy never takes off his mask so it could be another actor under there, were filmed much later and spliced in to change the plot. Sadly, they gave editing duty to a blind gibbon.
@LibraGamesUnlimited5 жыл бұрын
You might be on to something there. It also feels like it might have been edited by a drunken chip.
@ParadoxapocalypSatan4 жыл бұрын
@@LibraGamesUnlimited Yeah that drunken chip was one of the first instances of alcoholic technology, no one knew how to handle it yet. Luckily they had an orangutan on LSD to help out.
@LibraGamesUnlimited4 жыл бұрын
@@ParadoxapocalypSatan Very good.
@SirWilliamKidney2 жыл бұрын
I was sort of thinking the same thing, but then Lupa mentioned in another video that this was a "Zen Film" by that zen film asshole. If you don't know what that is watch her video on Zen film making or watch her review of Max Hell goes to Frogtown (I think that's the name of it, the third "Frogtown" video). This whole thing will make a lot more sense afterwards, trust me.
@werailey33 жыл бұрын
The way she says "What The FUCK?!" gives me life
@mnicolemortensen76 жыл бұрын
Thanks for posting your old reviews. Great again.
@writerchick4eva6 ай бұрын
This video has become like an old reliable salve for me whenever I've had a bad day. No matter how down in the dumps I am I just can't NOT lose it at your bewildered silence during the nonsensical circus scene followed by "I am 5 minutes closer to death now." This whole review always brightens my day. :)
@AllisonPregler6 ай бұрын
Thank you!!
@Hardman55096 жыл бұрын
Hey, good to have this back! I love seeing your breakdowns over five years later!
@H3len506 жыл бұрын
Thank you for making my morning before I go and do my late shift, so many laughs. Thank you, thank you.
@natemo826 жыл бұрын
Yes! My favorite Lupa episode ever comes to KZfaq! I feel just like I did when Jurassic Park finally came out on home video.
@chanseyegg44416 жыл бұрын
the Australian sensei with the American flag outfit reminds me of a less self aware version of basically the same character from Napolean Dynamite.
@cullendixon7246 жыл бұрын
That "Australian" guy is British Martial artist Gary Daniels.
@jacksullivan47414 жыл бұрын
He’s Australian but a ninja
@jacksullivan47414 жыл бұрын
He’s Australian but a ninja
@marshallbanana2814 жыл бұрын
Maybe it's the 360 quality video of what feels like a 90s VHS tape, but honestly, I thought it was Logan from Baywatch.
@jonathanwashington60833 жыл бұрын
Oh I thought he was just Kung-Fu Logan. 😁
@gracekim25 Жыл бұрын
@@jacksullivan4741 anyone can be a ninja
@poipoi98166 жыл бұрын
I choose to believe that the fast forward effects are original to the movie and will not hear otherwise. This is a fucking trip.
@N3rv3d4m4g36 жыл бұрын
Robert Zadar has a more terrifying screen presence in this movie than in fucking maniac cop.
@brendakrieger7000 Жыл бұрын
That Camaro was the best thing in this whole film!!
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
It was at the balloon bouncing scene... Robert Z'dar was thinking... "I really shouldn't have been so quick to say no to Maniac Cop 4: Cops in Space"
@thronezwei44127 жыл бұрын
What on Earth was even the point of that balloon scene?
@Ektalon6 жыл бұрын
Throne Zwei What was the point of anything in this movie?
@ripleyjlawman.31626 жыл бұрын
Throne Zwei Drugs, and shame.
@griffithmoony92635 жыл бұрын
I think they just left the bloopers in
@RIVALContentJammerz5 жыл бұрын
You guys don't appreciate true art.
@giuseppeianniello19984 жыл бұрын
To waste precious minutes of your life
@doranstewartstewart65216 жыл бұрын
13:55 she's the angry vhs nerd
@Hunteriffic862 жыл бұрын
I just watched the latest episode of Baywatching and it was called "Let the Games Begin" and it reminded me of the weird way that bad guy kid said that before the random video game fighting scenes so here I am
@CultureFusionSite3 жыл бұрын
Another one I come back to a lot. Your confusion seems very genuine.
@franciscobrisolladeoliveir95966 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the movie that broke Allison. I still believe the theory that the movie was put together by an intern last minute.
@chanseyegg44416 жыл бұрын
i know rifftrax already tore this beautiful mess of a "movie" several new ones, but i'd love to see you react and maybe get some backstory on Rollergator.
@jonathanwashington60833 жыл бұрын
They never did Pocket Ninjas
@U014B5 жыл бұрын
18:14 I'm almost a million percent certain Sega did not sanction this.
@k.roberts85415 жыл бұрын
was there a gas leak in the treehouse or something?
@giuseppeianniello1998 Жыл бұрын
Saying that whoever did the film assumed every drug substance is a massive MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT! Pocket Ninjas makes every Uwe Boll movie seem like a masterpiece! Cannot believe that i actually said that
@Shiirow6 жыл бұрын
Its like if GI Joe the cartoon, 3 Ninjas, TMNT and Surf Ninjas spent the entire weekend in a drunken drug-infused bender of an orgy causing them to completely forget what happened but was never spoken of.
@Eviltwin5314 жыл бұрын
This has to have been raw footage of three different unfinished movies they just taped together to get it feature length and shoved out the door.
@Canadamus_Prime6 жыл бұрын
My guess is that this movie is trying to ape 3 Ninjas, but Jesus! As ridiculous as 3 Ninjas was at least is was coherent.
@JanetStarChild6 жыл бұрын
Did you say this movie is about Ninja Jesus?
@Canadamus_Prime6 жыл бұрын
No. That would be awesome though.
@KageMaxwell6 жыл бұрын
There's not enough 'What the fuck' in the entire universe for this movie. Seriously, was there a point to this? I can answer that. No! Why does this movie exist?! 😱
@ripleyjlawman.31626 жыл бұрын
KageMaxwell Yes there was a point originally, but then re-shoots to change the tone of the movie were done.
@KageMaxwell5 жыл бұрын
James Lawman I honestly didn't know that. Thanks. Still, this movie hurts.
@SilentPrayerCG4 жыл бұрын
8:53 this roar was in Comic Zone on Sega Genesis
@glowinthefart6 жыл бұрын
this was the second dvd I ever got.
@LibraGamesUnlimited5 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry to hear that. I really am.
@nomduclavier6 жыл бұрын
Sub-Zero is a Chinese ninja warrior, so there ... WITH HIS HEART SO COLD
@ripleyjlawman.31626 жыл бұрын
Nom du Clavier Actually he's two.
@marinaraman82386 жыл бұрын
''Buttwhiff'' PEOPLE DON'T TALK THAT WAY!!!!!!
@jaso44556 жыл бұрын
R.I.P Brad Bufanda tho
@planescaped6 жыл бұрын
Wow... so weird to know now that the kid wearing the black mask killed himself 20 years later.
@benlunch76183 жыл бұрын
RIP "Sondi" movie career. According to IMDB she either went into the FBI Witness protection program or stopped being in movies :D
@WhiteManOnCampus6 жыл бұрын
Are you sure you want to bring this back? Scott Shaw might threaten you again.
@AllisonPregler6 жыл бұрын
Scott Shaw doesn't own this, his buddy just directed a portion of it uncredited.
@LibraGamesUnlimited5 жыл бұрын
I was kind of expecting it to be about ninjas who were either really small or got shrunk down and hid in people's pockets or something. Also, I'm pretty sure Kobra Kahn is a He-Man villain. The snake guy who sprays water or something.
@reviathan35244 жыл бұрын
This movie didn't make me feel anything. Anger, laughter, heck even depression which I usually get by the drop of a hat!
@gracekim25 Жыл бұрын
I almost ALMOST confused this with 3 ninjas 😂
@michellemarty75106 жыл бұрын
I'm not even sure this can be called a film...
@LibraGamesUnlimited5 жыл бұрын
I feel like someone needs to invent a new category just for this movie. It kind of like a visual random note, thrown together from various other movies or something, into an incoherent mess. Like taking five movies and putting them into a blender.
@jamesrocks70106 жыл бұрын
According to Wikipedia "The film was intended to be a children's version of The Roller Blade Seven that would showcase Jacksons' "Roller Cam" cinematography and "Zen Film-making" style." having seen the Roller Blade Seven this film makes more sense to me now. You should do a reaction to Roller Blade Seven.... it's a HORRIBLE movie... you'd love it.
@Tareltonlives4 жыл бұрын
The only thing that makes sense about this sentence is that Donald Jackson made this movie.
@Tareltonlives5 жыл бұрын
This is like 3 Ninjas got mashed up with Rollergator. On ALL the drugs.
@Tareltonlives5 жыл бұрын
Haven't seen that one. I'll take your word for it @Gene Bone
@dancepiglover6 жыл бұрын
I'm now inspired to make my own movie. Without any training, I think I could put something together better than this.
@U014B6 жыл бұрын
You know what's not even on that Bottom 100 list, though? _ANYTHING BY DINGO PICTURES._
@muthesquirrel6 жыл бұрын
That's because they're all in the top 100.
@planescaped6 жыл бұрын
Dingo Pictures movies have a kind of mesmerizing badness that makes them enjoyable despite it all.
@goufr35406 жыл бұрын
Now I want to see a Dingo Pictures knock off of Pocket Ninjas and it would somehow make more sense.
@ParadoxapocalypSatan4 жыл бұрын
THEY ATE MY BABY
@ItsSoDane6 жыл бұрын
Wish it was in a higher resolution quality.
@WolfoftheDM5 жыл бұрын
this isn't a story! it's just a bunch of stuff that happened!
@Zeturic6 жыл бұрын
Him giving them the masks reminds me of the scene in the MMPR movie where Dulcea tells the Rangers about their animal spirits.
@michelzenitud55246 жыл бұрын
Excellent j'adore ! Rire J'adore !
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
I'm convinced I lost more brain cells to this movie than alcohol.
@mikekz44897 жыл бұрын
Oh Gary Daniels. I think he made an even worse movie than Daniel Bernhardt did with Future War.
@thenightrider21216 жыл бұрын
At least he graduated to Dancin' It's On
@nathanforester5993 Жыл бұрын
Definitely thought at first the 'White Dragon' looked like a clown or a lemur, also one of the silliest fatalities/final smashes I have ever seen.
@cicadathegod82773 ай бұрын
This movie feels like when I had to go off my ADHD medication and things felt fast and slow at the same time.
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
Oh, like it could be worse than 3 Ninja-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
I can't believe it; you've found the WORST ROBERT Z'DAR FILM EVER. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
Shut up, Bandit Keith.
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
Why would a NINJA where a NOH mask unless they were infiltrating a theater troupe!? Is Robert Z'Dar as Generic Asian Villain name a big Noh fan? I mean, there's Noh business like show business but....
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
And now they're on roller skates....oh god....Rollergator flashbacks...
@Tareltonlives7 жыл бұрын
"WHAT THE FUCK?! " is one of the alternate titles for this movie
@Hexphile7 күн бұрын
Several years later but "why not". This movie was a result of a "style" called Zen Film making. The original "creator" behind it is responsible for such things as Rollergator. The style is basically shooting film without a script. The funny thing is that they brought someone on to try and put some sort of sense to this madness but it ended up making it worse.
@jessicafrost75793 жыл бұрын
So it was assembled out of order. But even if was assembled in order, it wouldn't have made sense. But even if it *did* make sense, it would've sucked.
@ZekeStaright6 жыл бұрын
Dude, My Boyfriend's Back, I miss that movie...
@JamiJR6 жыл бұрын
Wait, did that blue bat just bend like a balloon?
@jessewilley5314 жыл бұрын
My copy was supposed to be a dollar. But no... with my FYE membeship should have been 90 cents. But nope. But the register said it was supposed to be in the 75% off section. Meaning I actually paid 85% off. So at 15 cents..... I still felt ripped off.
@Jude300c5 жыл бұрын
Now Im curious.... Throwing punches and kicks WITH rollerblades on?
@agentleman46106 жыл бұрын
You know, there's a lot of scenes here that could go very horribly wrong if they were taken out of what little context they have. Also, what the fuck is going on?!
@JS-hw8ve4 жыл бұрын
What the hell did I just watch you watch?????
@christopherb5013 жыл бұрын
Has ANY more information about this...THING been made available in the intervening eleven years since this review??? WTF IS this?!?
@lamarjackson40995 жыл бұрын
Allison, I have a rather weird question about this movie, "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" 😑 Not even Gary Daniels can't solve this problem. 🤔
@guardspeedy6 жыл бұрын
Maybe if the bad guy was dressed as his bad guys namesake from Masters of the Universe he might have been more threatening. Thats a BIG maybe though.
@michaellangwaller5 жыл бұрын
Was this movie filmed inside a starship going full warp? That rumbling is annoying.
@gracekim25 Жыл бұрын
My brain: *almost thinks you said cobra Kai* Mmmm I can already tell it’s confusing 😂 18.10.22
@kaylahalder27996 жыл бұрын
Why doe this exist? I mean I know why, but WHY?
@javis88h6 жыл бұрын
did a child write this mess?
@CartoonTriper6 жыл бұрын
More like a child write this, but the director doesn´t know how to film it
@rorylumley47276 жыл бұрын
Well stuff sure did happen. Thats all i can say about this movie.
@brendakrieger7000 Жыл бұрын
Lol, thanks😹🥋🥋
@Kuunmorsian4 жыл бұрын
what the hell are we watching xD
@SabrinaRina6 жыл бұрын
10:45 I laughed way too hard. I'm not saying acting is easy, I'm saying being devoid of anything resembling natural human emotion and inflection is pretty hard.
@hdofu2 жыл бұрын
To make Plan 9 from Outer Space's acting look like Citizen Cane.... takes some effort.
@Tareltonlives4 жыл бұрын
You know of every terrible movie Robert Z'Dar's been in, I think he'd like to be forgotten he was in this one the most.
@marinaraman82386 жыл бұрын
I think the 1 dislike is from the director
@Tareltonlives3 жыл бұрын
Still not sure if Donald Jackson made this movie
@polk-e-dot81776 жыл бұрын
nah silly string is a secret ancient laotian ninja technique.
@SpeedyEric16 жыл бұрын
If there were a list of things that this world would be better without, not only would you find Donald Trump, but you would also find the movie Pocket Ninjas. 6:02- That actually how I describe the Birdemic movies.
@kingoffists6 жыл бұрын
wow a donald trump is terrible comment how original i hate the thing thats trendy to hate am i cool now huuh huh iam edgy right pffft but yeah the movie was really confusing
@DrGregoryHouseIT6 жыл бұрын
This is one of the less movie-y movies I have ever seen!
@RudolvonStroheim6 жыл бұрын
Just. ROTFL
@FaustTheThird5 жыл бұрын
Wait what?
@erinstretch92375 жыл бұрын
WTF did I just watch?
@Tareltonlives5 жыл бұрын
The lowest moment for Gary Daniels and Robert Z'Dar.
@LordHorst6 жыл бұрын
15:48 Wait, is that Mayim Bialik?
@ripleyjlawman.31626 жыл бұрын
LordFvckingHorst Why don't you check in IMDB
@ripleyjlawman.31626 жыл бұрын
LordFvckingHorst And the answer is no.
@user-dr2yz8um3d7 жыл бұрын
god...sloppy filmmaking at it's finest
@multitudeofidols6 жыл бұрын
Wait, this made it to DVD? So I'm stuck watching crap quality bootleg episodes of _Da Vinci's Inquest_ past Season 3, but this incomprehensible mess gets _two_ DVD releases? How is the world this broken?
@LibraGamesUnlimited5 жыл бұрын
I know there are tons of actually deserving movies and TV shows not on DVD and yet there is this. I can only assume they planned to seed dollar bins and trick grandparents into buying it for their grandkids because they know they love ninjas and the grandparents have no idea this isn't a good ninja movie.
@dkamphaus434 жыл бұрын
Ah yes, the movie that caused Rich Evans of Red Letter Media to go on a furniture massacre.
@phreakazoith22376 жыл бұрын
Maybe it is a poor martial arts comedy whatever. But it looks like a nice sequel to "Fun in ballon land"
@jaymereynolds91726 жыл бұрын
I think the worst movies are boring and pretentious. I can forgive indie productions but not big budget snooze fests. At least this is nonsensical fun.
@muthesquirrel6 жыл бұрын
I wish Alison knew wht Zen film making was before she saw this movie. :p
@PaceBreaker6 жыл бұрын
Such lame attempts at comedy combined with an incoherent plot and editing so horrendous and inconsistent you couldn't even call it editing. I think I'd rather watch Toad Warrior over this!
@Scribblerjohnny3 жыл бұрын
Ninja came from China to Japan
@anthonysandoval551211 ай бұрын
I'd rather watch all 4 of the 3 ninjas movie's back to back than watch this garbage
@anthonysandoval551211 ай бұрын
Ninja Turtles 3, the two michael bay produced movies, the next mutation TV show, and the coming out of their shells tour are all Oscar winners compared to this abomination of cinema.