Processing Personal Challenges While Still Being a Therapist
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Күн бұрынProcessing Personal Challenges While Still Being a Therapist
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Due to the personal nature of this video, I'm just releasing an extended version of the video this week.
I often find myself wanting to hear personal, human stories from fellow therapists. And I'm also curious what the experience of being a therapist is like when we're sometimes going through tough times ourselves.
Today I'm sharing my story of growing up in a narcissistic household and the experience of unpacking that as a 30-year-old while seeing clients in my therapy practice. Thank you for listening to my story.
Links referenced:
Video: "Why I Chose the Counseling Profession"
• Why I Chose the Counse...
Documentary about Barry Minkow (my former pastor): "King of the Con"
www.imdb.com/title/tt16452470...
(It might be on Apple tv or Discovery+? I couldn't find where it's streaming but you can see the trailer in the link above)
00:00 Intro
04:26 Former coworker's arrest
06:39 Going through hardship as a therapist
08:50 Narcissism in my family
16:21 Escaping narcissism
22:40 Seeing clients during hard times
31:45 TherapyNotes Sponsor
This video is not intended as professional or legal advice. Be sure to seek the services of a professional if you are in need of them.
@danadelguerra6279 3 ай бұрын
Thankyou, Thankyou for your honesty, vulnerability. It is so validating to hear you. As a therapist, we are often required to be flawless, not feeling or vulnerable. We create the therapeutic environment, relationship and respond with the skills to best encourage the client to find their way, inspiration. Often as therapists living our lives, we go to work with our own issues, but hold others and their issues in sanctity. Over time the effects can be devastating. The hushed silence of not expressing, as we often experience extreme difficulty ourselves. ❤
@jostinahmwangombe9965 3 ай бұрын
Wauh thanks
@Prehknight22 3 ай бұрын
Yep, I've also found that the therapy space always brings out my own access to Self-Energy (IFS framework). Even if it is mainly there for my client, it is such a relief to embody that energy, especially when we're struggling elsewhere in our lives.
@beverlyondera3266 3 ай бұрын
This was such an example of being authentic, wanting to share with other therapists the ups and downs of life, and private practice. Compassion for others developed through personal struggles often strengthens career choices. I didn’t choose being a therapist because of this but I feel it strengthens my skills as a therapist. And, goodness! The church leadership issues! Ugh! I hope you’ve found a safe place with genuine healed believers to serve God with.
@Michelle-st9yc 3 ай бұрын
No matter how bad I have personally felt, I always showed up for my clients. I just had to compartmentalize. It wasn’t always easy though, and still isn’t.
@s.w.backcountry3982 3 ай бұрын
Sorry you went through this. As someone with a dad like your mom, I appreciate you creating and sharing this. Your self-disclosure will help many of us I'm sure.
@vaughanjalinen7235 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for bravely talking about being human and being a therapist. You reminded me of how important it is to remain humble while helping clients.
@elenayee3093 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for this episode. So important! It'd be interesting to have an episode on how a therapist's personal struggles translate into countertransference with clients.
@mellissa6789 3 ай бұрын
Yes! I'm a therapist and I was taught that we should be in therapy even if we think we are fine because countertransference can come up when not expecting it. That is why I'm in therapy myself because you never know. When I do find sensitive things come up in session when I'm aware I usually try to explore more with the pt through open ended questions regarding the matter or I'll summarize because I dnt want to make the wrong response.
@henryhealing444 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for humanizing being human while working in this industry. I have almost given up several times. You remind us at every stage, not to.
@karihesketh9815 3 ай бұрын
You are so brave! I feel similarly about meeting with clients while I’m struggling. It’s very grounding.
@ginagg200 3 ай бұрын
Perfect timing..I needed this!
@selfcareimpactcounseling698 25 күн бұрын
Thank you, Dr. Marie! Your vulnerability is highly appreciated -- especially on this topic! Highly relatable for myself & SOOOO many of us, therapists!
@wondergal4729 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this episode. Thank you for sharing your stories and for having an authentic presence in all of this.
@collettehonsowetz3468 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing your story and being open and vulnerable.
@ryantorre7056 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this - I really appreciate this insight and I’m happy to hear you were able to navigate that!
@rainlana7755 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this! I can completely relate with my clients being my break from my life during those tough years.
@meriamnjah8633 3 ай бұрын
Would love a part two of this video, and hear more about “tips” (for lack of a better word) or things that make navigating a difficult season of life as a therapist slightly easier, now that you’re on the other side 😊
@shelblmhc 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability, this was validating for me to hear as a fellow therapist and someone who grew up in a similar household.
@melindabennett5457 3 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your video. It was exactly what I needed to hear as a counseling student.
@netherworlde 3 ай бұрын
You are so brave, Marie. Thank you for sharing your story. I know that just because you've processed your past, it doesn't make it easy to talk about.
@brookea.fosterpsy.d.5383 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. This was powerful. I really appreciate you showing that we are human and we also need to process through trauma and life events. Thank you
@GraceDavis-fk2ib 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for have the guts to share what we all experience... hardship in life!!
@brandongrill2767 3 ай бұрын
I relate to the idea that it's easier to show up for others than for ourselves at times, if not more often than not. Thanks for sharing Marie. I'm glad you got through that dark period - you're not alone there. I've been through a few dark periods, but each one is easier to manage it seems. Kudos on making that boundary with your mom. It's not easy.
@SophieGreenleaf 2 ай бұрын
Also, thank you so much for sharing your story. It helps so much. ❤
@tatjanaatanaskovic9627 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this Marie
@mmarin2587 3 ай бұрын
Thank you Mare for your vulnerability. As a therapist, I value the authenticity and courage to speak up o topics that feel like taboo. Thank you, thank you! Look forward to future videos!
@dharmaphile 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for sharing Marie ... I felt like I was having a chat with a therapist friend. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I found this very relatable, especially in showing up for clients while going through something so difficult.
@clairekorte6048 3 ай бұрын
Thanks Marie - very raw and insightful. You are thoroughly wonderful and topic choice is spot on for early career therapists 🤗
@terriw919 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story. It must've been extremely difficult for you experiencing what you went through. I'm glad you set boundaries for yourself.
@Samira-qj9fo 3 ай бұрын
Thank you! So many of us come into the field with similar stories but we don’t hear that in our classes, from supervisors or even from public figures like yourself. A wonderful and validating share. Thanks for being brave!!!
@madhusul 3 ай бұрын
thank you so much for this video. For your courage, vulnerability and authenticity and for knowing that this was valuable to share and could help others. I gained a lot from this video and truly appreciate all that you do!
@tuxedois82000 3 ай бұрын
Thank you, Marie, for this episode, I can truly empathize. Your goal of sharing your experience and knowledge resonates with me on so many levels. I feel like I just listened to my 27 years of marriage to a covert narcissist. This video, for me, is exactly how I feel. Loved the style of this video keep up the great work.
@G.A.1024 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for your vulnerability Marie. As a fellow therapist I admire your openness. So many of us can relate to having had/having personal struggles. I think that’s where the compassion and empathy flows from for our clients. You are doing great work and your littles have a great momma 😊.
@stillnesstherapy 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this. I think it's important for therapists to find ways to share their own story. It humanizes us. A lot of this resonated with my own personal experience. I am happy to hear you've figured things out for yourself. I look forward to your newsletter/videos on here.
@allisonflynn873 3 ай бұрын
This was really helpful, and I so appreciate what you said and the context. My mother also was very narcissistic and probably had borderline traits as well and it was really good to hear how you have processed it and also how you shared your experience. Thank you!
@dlserwatka 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for your share, Marie. Our experiences including hardships help shape who we are, enabling us to more effectively serve others. I'm sure you are a better therapist for it, as am I.
@ericschwartz9584 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for being so vulnerable. Your scenarios described our household to a "T", a big "T" to be exact. My kids know exactly what that means. They are extremely successful adults today and have flourished ever since we all went no contact, and thanks in large part to a very good therapist we found who specialized in narcissism and abuse and is still helping us to this day. We love your videos and are big supporters!
@Peter_Holder 3 ай бұрын
Really appreciate this video, thank you
@krisphiles 3 ай бұрын
In watching you go through this on your channel, my heart is very sad for you. Your sadness is palpable. I hope you do have a therapist who is able to help you navigate these traumas. It's hard to find a therapist for therapists... Best wishes for your journey.
@danaw2232 3 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing!
@dearearthlings 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this video! I can so relate, am a therapist myself and had to cut contact to the father of my child who has npd and sud. I had to protect us from this. In hindsight, it was the best decision, but going through the process was hell. Glad you made it out, can only imagine how hard it was growing up and then cutting ties. I am glad I could spare my child this path. And yes, going through these experiences make us more relatable and also helps us understand our patients better. Finding a solution and working through this can be encouraging. I think of my patients and what they will gain from my struggles everytime I go through something challenging... Best wishes your way.
@meriamnjah8633 3 ай бұрын
This video was the hug I needed in this season of life ♥️ I have often felt very alone (and like I’m the only one) who is navigating a difficult season of life while also seeing clients. It seems as if everyone else has the easiest time seeing their clients and at some moments it feels as if I’m the only one who has too many problems that I “should have” figured out by now. I have often considered stepping away until I am more well myself, but can’t seem to be able to do that. I so appreciate knowing that I am in good company, and that we can still show up for our clients, even as we are going through seasons where we can barely show up for ourselves.
@CarissaCochrane 3 ай бұрын
Wow, thank you for being authentic in sharing your story. Many of the impacts and symptoms you shared are ones that I faced as well when managing the relationship with my own narcissistic mother. I think that is one of main drivers of me choosing to go into the child and youth care field, and now working as a therapist. Thank you for validating that we as therapists might have our own traumas and "stuff" going on while we show up for clients, and that doesn't make us bad therapists, but rather makes us human. Thank you! :)
@EmilyChandlerj 20 күн бұрын
I love this! My favorite of yours so far. I am a therapist and share so many of the same pieces of the same narrative. I will watch and rewatch this.
@taradrew2631 3 ай бұрын
Incredibly insightful. I’m in graduate school now and I can’t tell you have relieved I am to know I don’t have to be perfect before I set out to counsel others.
@mellissa6789 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your story! It definitely helps normalize things as a therapist. I'm a therapist my self and currently in therapy and marriage counseling. I have on going issues with my siblings and it can bog me down sometimes and issues in marriage. Some days just feels heavy and I work for an agency so seeing 6-8 pt a day gets overwhelming that is why I'm in my own therapy. I also have been taking off more days because I just don't have it in me some days. I'm planning on going into private practice more freedom, less clients, and peace of mind. I'm trying to prevent myself from burnout. Thank you again for sharing. We are human too❤
@allyt7598 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for your vulnerability, I'm sure this will help so many people. Sending you lots of love.
@masterdancer999 3 ай бұрын
I really appreciate you starting this discussion and sharing your experience. I can relate to a lot of parts you touched on. I was my mom's caretaker for several months leading up to her death, all while seeing clients (I did take a personal leave once we entered home hospice and a few weeks to cover my bereavement). I was parentified by my mom, which I realized later on was a big part of my journey to becoming a therapist. Since her death, my grief has been tangled up with my questioning my identity and career choice. There are days where I would be sobbing until 10 minutes before my first client, and I would wonder if I can even ethically sit with clients that day. Only once so far did I make that call and canceled sessions for the day. All the other times, I would pull myself together and would be so surprised at how intuitively I could work with clients and get pulled into their world, and out of my own internal chaos.
@denisel.villegas3613 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for keeping it real!!! I so appreciate you sharing this. I have been afraid to start my private practice because I am also having a challenging season in life, and question how can I show up for others.
@JenniferKarper 3 ай бұрын
Thank you Marie for the beautiful content and beautiful strength to share your experience. I remember ending a Narcissistic relationship and finally having that light bulb go off too. After so much time, trying to put a square peg in a round hole, I realized that I didn't want to believe other people were that ill and lacked any sense of self awareness (I believe the word is egosyntonic...they can't see what other people see). Maybe that's why emotionally intelligent people have a hard time ending relationships like that....we see the good in others...and it's a painful thing to accept...that some people cannot (or) won't change. On a good note, having personally experienced Narcissism definitely made me a better therapist! Peace & lots of love to you, Jen
@psydrone8 3 ай бұрын
Great video!
@brandijacksonwellness 3 ай бұрын
I appreciate this and as a therapist and fellow KZfaqr, I would like to share in the way you have here. Thank you!
@JewelPressedRecord Ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing! It can be difficult managing life and clients; we grieve and struggle just as our clients do. We could definitely use more vulnerability on topics like this, and now you've inspired me. Perhaps I'll get brave like you and share my own story sometime soon. Thanks, Marie!
@humandesignexperiment 3 ай бұрын
Thank you!
@lizdestefano4905 3 ай бұрын
❤💚 your Vulnerability!
@roxyjohnson5112 3 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. I am also a therapist who grew up with a narcissistic mother.
@SophieGreenleaf 2 ай бұрын
When your first encounter with a malignant narcissist is the head of a state psychology department, you watch them ruin dozens of people’s lives a year, just for sport, and yet everyone around you worships them. Maybe I’ll write a book or screenplay about it someday. That was true horror. ☠️🤢
@KM-xv1uo 3 ай бұрын
Hello, I don't relate to this at all. I have been a therapist for almost 20 years, and I hear lots of denial in the comments "I always show up for my clients no matter what I've been going through." I think it's unrealistic and feeds into the myth that therapists are supposed to be superhuman. This is why there is such a high burnout rate among therapists. Does anyone here dare say, "I decided I had to take time off to take care of myself"? We always tell our clients they have to take care of themselves before they can take care of others, but the comments here seem to be saying "do as I say, not as I do." I took time off during a very difficult time in my life, and it was the best thing I could do for MYSELF and my clients. Marie, I love you and I love your videos. I felt like there was almost a robot-like quality in you as you shared in this video. What is really going on with you? And why do you think you always have to put your clients first? I would say to any fellow therapist that your clients will survive if they need to find another therapist, and you will survive and find more clients when the time is right.
@Inahwang Ай бұрын
It is hard to separate yourself from narc. Mom when... she is the only family you have.... and you are in your late 30s and not married...... Life is just hard.
@ambrosiacrump5781 3 ай бұрын
Do you/did you wonder if being able to join your client's worlds and being able in those spaces was almost a form of dissociation for you in a way? an escape hatch/relief?
@andriyandriychuk 16 күн бұрын
Cool therapist!
@shariecebrewster5962 Ай бұрын
Need counseling and right now
@shariecebrewster5962 Ай бұрын
I am Jenny and my team is in class for it's a Dr disability as well;;;;;;; my cousin sent me on KZfaq:::::::::: that's is funny how you telling you story we all want through what's you went through "":::::::::; still going through it's is hard years
@shariecebrewster5962 2 ай бұрын
New on there's
@shaazaamm5266 2 ай бұрын
Wow, excellent job sharing your life experience in a helpful, clear and caring and generous way 🩷💚🧡💜💙❤️⚡️
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