The thing is severe childhood bullies and neglectful adults at school can cause these traumas too. It's not only parents. My Mom did the best she could and gave me all she could. The school is where all of my trauma comes from.

Can we talk about friendship trauma especially when you are a child how your friends conditioned you to be a people pleaser for them and manipulated situations to make you look bad in front of others when you were children

Being abused for all my life in many different ways, from family to friends, I feel kind of all of them.

A lot of these can also be applied to friendships. The abandonment isn’t just parents leaving their kids behind, it’s friends ditching friends. It’s people turning you into a third wheel that ultimately breaks away. It’s people only talking to you because you’re in the same class, not because they like you. It’s people erasing you from their existence and denying you ever played a major part. This can go hand in hand with the pleasure love style because you don’t want them to leave. You’ll change yourself and you’ll do everything if it means they don’t leave you. It’s doing everything to avoid conflict because you think that if they get mad at you, that you’re not worthy of their love and attention.

The rejection one is so relatable to me, I often just expect people to hate me and to eventually reject me so I very rarely approach people. And the worst is taking small things personally. It's something I wanna work on since taking small things personally is a very toxic trait that I'm not comfy with.

Adverse childhood experiences 1. Rejection 1:23 2. Abandonment 2:56 3. Betrayal 4:31 4. Humiliation 5:48

You don't often seem to cover childhood trauma that results in keeping away from having any romantic relationships at all as an adult. It would be nice to watch that.

I thought i no longer struggle with my traumas but 🤡 it resurfaces after i get into my first and serious relationship.. good thing is , I'm aware of it so instead of running away or isolating myself completely,i stayed and deal with it. I have all these traumas thanks to my chaotic childhood, while my partner has two of these , sometimes we fought because we're isolating ourselves instead of talking about it, but we would come around and talk about it, talking about it actually helps us see that we both mean no harm ,we actually accidentally hurt eachother trying to protect ourselves..

Rejection Trauma. That is it! Thank you for saying to me that I`m not alone in this feeling. I feel that all the time. What can I do? I`ve ruined my previous relationship because of this. I talked to and hugged my girlfriend in the morning and in the evening I already think that she doesn`t like me anymore even though I know she is busy with her own affairs. I love her so much and I`m happy in the moments when we are together, but all the other time I strongly believe that she would be better off without me and this is driving me crazy :(

Weirdly enough they all described me and highlighted some of my problems in life, i have grown so distant from my own emotions i hardly feel anything true anymore. To protect me and i have developed a coping mechanism to block out my child hood trauma to the point where i can't even remember them happening, for example i am currently 20 years old, i just found out that i witnessed my mothers miscarriage when i was 8, and when i was 6 that i ignored my mother for around 5 months after my sister came out as a still born.

There are 5 symptoms you can find in every person who has had childhood trauma (always to a degree). Inappropriate levels of self-esteem. usually expressed as feeling less than(others) and in some cases better than (others). depends on the circumstances. and/or swinging from one to another. Does not have proper boundaries (internal and external). internal when it comes to others abusing you, including you abusing you. and external which prevents you from abusing others(the little Titan in you wants to hurt people for no reason). Inability to take care of their wants and needs. some are wantless and needless, some expect others to take care of their needs, some don't want any help and do it themselves only and some confuse needs with wants. Difficulty owning one's own reality. which means a person is not aware of how they look, how they dress, what they think, what they like, etc. It's sort of like they haven't developed an identity. Are not able to be in moderation. everything is either black or white, drink till pass out, emotional roller coasters up and down and back around. living on the edge with no supposed balance and moderation, and lots of self-sabotage going on. (no wonder they say normal life is boring!) this is from Pia Mellody’s work. which not a lot of people know about. I'm not sure why. if you master these from her book called “facing codependence”. you will at least have a grip on what is going on with your life. she also breaks down actual trauma, and defence mechanisms that a child uses and then carries them into adulthood and she also tells you how to work with it. There is no better account of childhood trauma broken down like this to the core fundamentals. you gotta work on all 5 at the same time usually. It's a long journey but It’s doable. but you have to become aware of it first. and then learn it so you can explain it to others like I just did! I have learned it's true that what you learn you have to practice and preach. and knowing how to teach someone else, might actually mean that you have learned it yourself. Thanks for the rea have a good day.

The last one really affected me as a teen since one of my siblings and my mom humiliated me on a family event one night by yelling out loud of what i like personally of my hobbies and painting it as being stupid liking those things and needed to be a proper person. Everyone hearing that including my mom mocking me while laughing at me making fun of those things i was curious about and i genuinely liked it was so bad that i immediately run to a high empty room avoid anyone at all cost and was hurt by that. To this day i still avoid family gatherings and getting near them because of my sister and it still triggers me whenever i go to holidays with families or my older sister. It's messed up.

Im shook. I have suffered from all of these and I'm trying to keep myself together with the weight of the reality of it. Im not just broken, im shattered. However, instead of forming toxic relationships i never had one to begin with and isolated myself from the world. My family wonders why i don't have a wife and kids yet fail to understand they wounded me in ways that hurt me and affected me to this day. Im on a journey now to growth and healing and i forgive them but man its hard biting the bullet of reality. I ran from it for so long that addressing it feels better than keep on running from it. I hope whoever reads this heals too and forgoves those who hurt you so you can grow too. 🕊️❤️

Timestamps 1). Rejection trauma 1:19 2). Abandonment trauma 2:54 3). Betrayal trauma 4:30 4). Humiliation trauma 5:47 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

One thing I’m struggling with right now, is to accept that my parents aren’t the same people they were ten years ago. And that I’m worth of all their support and all of the friendships I currently have. They’ve both changed so much after I left for college, that now that I spend time with them my mind makes it so hard to get along because I expect all of those old behaviors to come back. It makes me feel like a child throwing a tantrum, because I always expect the worst and I’m taking everything my parents say too personal when it’s not a big deal. Therapy has helped, but I’m wondering if a I’ll ever get better…. I don’t want to be alone the rest of my life.

These videos always talk about growing up with toxic parents, I would really love a video about growing up with a toxic older sibling. I love your content :)

I know I have childhood trauma, that I'm still as a teenager, working trhough, but I've never realized how much it actually affects my behaviour. i relate almost too much to many of these, and I am only now starting to realize things. thank you, psych2go for helping people like me understand themselfes

For a while i didnt exactly know what kind of trauma i might have suffered at my mom's house as it wasent often talked about and was pretty specific, but i feel lile betrayal really describes it well. Ive been acused of lying multiple times by my mom and mostly step dad even thought i didnt lie and this made me develop some sort of complex about truth and lies. Thanks for talking about these sorts of thing!

1:24 yup. Can most definitely relate to this. Back in first grade, one of my friends made me nearly lose all my friends. After that I stopped trusting people and became a little cold and distant. But now, thanks to anime(and your wonderful videos) helped show me it’s ok to cry. Heck, I cried yesterday because of an event that triggered this memory. Thanks a lot

I don't know if it is a detail on purpose or not, but I am really grateful that in the shown relationship, the taller person ist the one who has trauma and needs help. Most of the time it is always the smaller person who only gets comfort by the the taller person. Thank you ❤

Abandonment trauma hit too close home. I mean I always knew I had that because my mom left me when I was 6 but I never got into any relationship. One of many reasons was fear of rejection and being vulnerable, I was afraid how my mental health and traumas would affect me. I'm in talking stage with a guy and you perfectly described how I'm feeling. I feel like I'm self sabotaging myself because I'm so afraid I'm going to be like my mother in relationship and I don't think I deserve someone like him and at the same time I'm already scared he's gonna leave. I'm really thinking whether I have bpd because it's really getting into my head lmao

i was recently digging through my memories to try and figure out why my memory is shit and found a memory buried so deep, it was almost impossible to dig out. it was one where i went to go play with people i thought were friends, but when i got there they wanted nothing to do with me. this happened multiple times when i was little, and this, along with someone i truly loved disappearing without a trace or even a goodbye, might be why i’m scared to talk to new people or try to find my person. i’ve been hurt before, and i don’t want to be hurt again. i crave that connection, but i’m too afraid to chase it

All four, to varying degrees, from various people, with various effects to various times of my life apply to me. High emotional response plus mild autistic tendencies plus mentally unhealthy parents plus revolving door of "friends" and family plus bullies equals not fun.

I’m just gonna share my story… I suffer from an extremely abusive mom who somehow manages to physically and mentally abuse me and neglect me at the same time. As if the only time she’d ever pay any attention to me was to scream at me over a small mistake or hurt me physically. And then I have an angel for a father who only wants the best for me, and didn’t abandon me when he had the choice. He stayed and protected me from my mom. I got slapped hard across my face for just, not sweeping the floor right. I was dragged out of town when I clearly said “I don’t want to go, can I stay with my dad?” She says no and her and her boyfriend bring me 4 hours out of my hometown to a different town because her boyfriend needs to work. I didn’t want to go at all. My dad couldn’t do anything about this because he didn’t have full custody over me. Out there we stayed at a hotel. She promised me we’d go to the theatres for the first time in my life and watch a movie. Later that night for just making a joke to make fun of her (all I said was “What is your phone haunted?” in response to her saying her phone was doing stuff on its own) she drags me into the bathroom and starts kicking and punching me. I’m just sitting there crying my eyes out while she calls my dad and she begins “crying” saying I tried punching her when all I did was push her away in self-defence. My dad knew that I wouldn’t even try doing such a thing as much as I hated her but didn’t say anything so he doesn’t anger her more. Meanwhile her boyfriend just listens to what she’s doing to me meaning he didn’t care about me at all. Oh by the way her boyfriend was abusing her (threatening her with a knife, beating her up, etc.) for a whole year before this story and this story was a year ago and he’s still doing it. It’s been 3 years since he entered my life. Back to the story, after this happened I went to bed with the 2 of them since we had to share one bed. I act like I’m asleep and I hear my mom “crying” asking her boyfriend “What do I do with this kid?” and I was literally so angry, and I was aching everywhere. The next day she said we won’t be going to the theatres and we’re going straight home because of what I- I caused?? And on the way back she begins lecturing me about my SELF-DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR, and they were smoking in the vehicle with closed windows while a kid was in the back. Then my mom begins screaming at her boyfriend and grabs the wheel and starts swaying the vehicle all over the highway. I was scared for my life. Her boyfriend stabilized the vehicle when she stopped. When we got back home I just went to bed wanting to forget that ever happened. This is only one of the many examples of her abusing me. And after this she returns to neglecting me. I went to stay with my dad and didn’t go back there for 2 weeks. And also to anyone who may be concerned because of this story I am safe with my biological dad and haven’t spoken to my mom in months. Not saying she isn’t gone from my life and that I’m not going through anything but I am currently safe.

I feel like I needed this video. I haven’t experienced childhood trauma, no; my family loves me and I have so many people who care and support me, yet two rejections of love (one brutally crushing me) have made me feel like I don’t deserve a living relationship. And it doesn’t help the amount of stories that I have heard about people who have been in long relationships, who felt truly loved, yet were cheated on or heard that they aren’t loved. I fear that I don’t deserve a happy relationship. I fear he won’t want me, which I know if that happens I should move on, but I have these fears even though we’ve only been dating for around 3 weeks. He’s the first person I’ve dated, so maybe it’s the newness that makes me nervous. I just worry that he will get tired of me or that during college he will want someone else or that he will control me, even though he’s only been supportive and understanding. We are open, or at least that’s what it seems to be, but I still fear for the worst. I love him, I really do.

I'm afraid of rejection, abandonment and betrayal, I don't want her to leave me but I'm constantly afraid that she will, I'm always worried about her and everytime she's around I want to keep her safe and happy, I always get worried when she doesn't answer my messages, I can't stand the thought of being alone ever again... She's a wonderful person, she cares about me a lot but I'm always afraid of what could happen... I barely share this fact with anyone, ever because I'm afraid of so many things and situations that could happen.

This made me cry, it makes sense now. Prob contributes to why I don’t want children, why I always feel alone even when surrounded by people and why I feel like the world is against me.

Sooooooooo true, being an early years teacher myself i totally agree with the points. The affect it can have on children and as they grow up is absolutely heartbreaking 😢. I pray that every child finds safety in this world especially in their own homes.

My mother was always yelling at me because i wasn't getting really good grades, even though i was trying my best. She would always tell us to go away when we tried to talk to her, we were already afraid to talk to her because we didn't want to get yelled at more. Her and my Dad fought a lot, sometimes hours on end. To the day she died, she would still push me away a lot. She was 56 when she died in febuary of 2020

this video is making me realize so much

Thanks ! Yes, that is also a big wound from my youth. The video does not apply to me 100%, but it partly does. Especially betrayal. But my mother was much more damaged in her childhood, even sexually abused. Maybe that's why I've never been in a relationship subconsciously. However, I am not really a gloomy person. I have fun hobbies that make me happy.

It doesn't necessarily have to be parents. I was bullied for 12 years non stop during my entire school life. While my parents did have some significant contribution to my traumas, what makes it difficult for me to form any type of relationship (friendship, romantic etc..) is the years of constant bullying and how no adult stood up for me. You spend most of your childhood at school. It has significant effect on people's mental health.

. . . Tell me why this just speaks of my entire life... Not in my family life but instead my school. Your videos really help me find stuff in myself

Thanks for letting other people know about these type of stuff Psych2Go! The last three types of traumas I say I strongly agree is something I've been through. After some counselling at school and learning more about trama's effects, I've become a better person. And it's because of you Psych2Go! Don't stop what you and the whole team have been doing, as it has already helped a lot of people and it will help more in the future. Stay safe

sadly, i have suffered from two kind of these childhood traumas and mi friendship and romantic relationships are, during crisis, chaotic, even sometimes when i'm not in a crisis i act like someone i don't feel represented at all. i am in a psychological treatment but i feel like i'm getting worse and my personality disorder is going out of control. these kind of videos make me feel like I'm not the only one out there, like there's has to be a slightly better version of myself and I'm not alone. thank you so much.

I am in tears. This hits home.

The fact that I relate to the first and third one hit close to home. As a young kid, my parents fought alot. And that caused me to in a stressful situation which caused me to dissociate from reality and imagine myself in a safe space. And because now I'm often spiritually neglected from dad due to him spending time with his gf, I tend to overthink that I'm not important to my friends and that they just see me as the "annoying sunshine girl" or something like that.

Love your narration , Amanda 🫶

Thank you for saying “you matter”. I needed to hear that. ❤

I am a time traveler. 😎

this video helped me realize the type of trauma I have after years of trying to figure out what the hell happened to me and why I cant the way I do. Thank you.

Thank for talking about this cause I have been in a very bad mental state and this has really shown some of the reasons why I am this way cause all 4 of these have happened to me so thank you for this

What the hell... it's just mindblowing.I loved the background song and the animation. You are growing very well❤❤❤❤❤

Thank you, i really really I appreciate your hard work to teach us and make us learn about our traumas, thank you from my heart deep spot

I feel all of this. And realized that with mother issues as well. I am probably not gonna find love until wayyyyy later on in life

Thank you so much, I cried half of the video

Thank you for helping.

Wow. This is so insightful

A great and useful video, thank you very much 💞

5:33 this is so on point... The expression is really fitting. Citizen soldier & royal bliss is right... I'd rather go through hell, through hell To be the person I am today Had to find myself, myself Climbing a mountain of my mistakes 'Cause I was worth the war that's underneath my skin And if I had to I would do it all again Through hell, through hell You want a story to tell You gotta go through hell Cause sometimes that's the only way

My GF and I both have traumatic issues from our pasts so we both ran away from our families however our traumas are entirely different. My trauma was very simple and honestly childish look back at it but it was basically being judged by having a large penis but never using it because kids around my age were having sex all the time and joking around about it and I was sheltered. I had an ex for over 10 years that didn't love me and that also stumped my relationships. Whereas my GF she has much worse trauma because of an abusive relationship and then constantly falling back into drugs and sexual partners as a way to cope with her bullying and obesity. We both were broken humans with unsupportive families and met thinking we were going to die in the rain while jumpstarting her truck. Now we've been together for over 7 years and still working on our traumas but are supportive of each other

Great video! Shared!

Idk if she read it or will ever read it. However... I have been watching her's video for looong time and honestly she helped me a lot. Maybe those videos are nothing but trust me, if you face your trauma and reach for help, it's very fruitfull! Maybe it will not be right away, but trust me buddy, dont give up and keep going for your wellbeing!

I had all those in childhood…abusive parents.. yes it affects myself.. but at most i patch up myself with God, supportive grandmother and loving Christians and friends

this video speaks to me too much love your videos-!!

All of these resonate with me in some way or another, and I have no way of dealing with my trauma for fear of making my current situation worse..

This is really important information, especially when you get in a relationship with someone who was severely abused

My God between the war in my country and dysfunctional family with multiple types of abuse, living a life just to be aligned with your parents expectations although they are so far from being perfect, they want you to always be the best. Till i said to myself it's enough nothing will change, i discovered i am just a backup plan for their old days, someone to take care of them. I hope i can find peace in my life and stop remembering them and sometimes feeling guilty that they are right, i am not good enough. They wanted me to become a doctor and i did, i did everything they wanted me to do and be but still i feel i am just a scam. I wish everyone to have the life they dreamt about

This along with a few other of your videos have made me recognize just how broken I am as a person. To varying degrees, I relate to all of these, and I dont know how I can fix them.

I have both abandonment and betrayal trauma, this thanks to my family and school environment when I was little. It was awful to know i couldn't ask for help and I would be blamed like: "You're way too old/smart to know this." And proceeded to be blamed for the abuse I went through, I was bullied, neglected and SA in school when I was little, till i moved from cities and I snapped. The once sweet and cheerful little girl was gone and what remained was something akin to a wary cat. I'm an adult now but I realize how that scarred me deeply so bad, that I can like someone but get so overwhelmed by the feeling that I end in leaving them or ghosting them quickly, so if they insist again I feel guilty because I'm hurting someone genuine or if they ignore me to I feel relieved in the way that "I was right, he was just playing around with me."

thank you for this so I’d understand myself more. I never knew I’d had so much trauma happen in my 13 years of life

I absolutely love the channel

I fear rejection so much because my dad abandoned me. If I have a crush on someone, I assume they don’t like me, even if it’s obvious that they do. Then I’m paranoid that they might like someone else more once they see someone better. I constantly fear that I won’t ever be enough but I crave intimacy and love. But I feel like it’s safer to just be alone. People not liking me back just “confirms” that I’m unlovable and I can’t go through that rejection.

Humiliation trauma is mine. It happened to me in a school and not at home though. I wasn't bulled or anything. It's just that something very embarrassing happened when I was at school when I was really young. It traumatized me and it's almost been 10 years with no help and assistance. I have S.A.D. and G.A.D. and PTSD because of that one experience. Well.... Life is terrible as of now. Idk if i can do this Gotta be honest with you

I struggle a lot with my relationships and emotional stability often going in panic attacks and lack of control.....my partner is loving and kind but each day i can see him getting more and more exhausted from my burdens. I now see i have collected all of these types througout my childhood and i don't know how to deal with it. It's like swimming against the current. Rejection and abandonment were done by my first "friends" when they left me because i was too emotional and later on the same pattern kept repeating. Betreyal done by my parents' divorce that wounded the child (for years i blamed myself for it too) and humiliation by people from school and my own father's harsh way of "fixing me" and my mother's constant desire to always be "the best and perfect". Now here I am 20 years old almost an adult failing university because of this fear of betrayal and humiliation and constantly needing too much and worrying a person who truly loves me....life can be tough sometimes.

thank you 🙏♥️

Abandonment, Rejection, betrayal, humiliation, my parents have always done these type of things not everything but parts of the traumas.....it stings when i hear that these types describe how my parent treat me

DAMMIT THIS COMES AT A TIME WHEN IM GOING THROUGH IT TODAY 😅😅 I'm going through it with my partner today (of course, it's my own brain doing this and I'm aware of it) and all these traumas happened to me so I am feeling a little attacked xD but this helps me understand more, so I appreciate this video a lot💜💜💜 But also, this is reiterating to me that I definitely need to go to therapy and get diagnosed for things

I hope whoever helped make this video has a good day ❤❤❤

Watching this got me thinking, "woo-hoo! Guess I hit the jackpot!?"😂😭🤦🏽‍♀️💀

Very informative video 👍👏

I was abandoned by my mother when I was 3 yrs old. Remember it like it was yesterday. She ended up returning, but the unhealed trauma lasts forever. Guess that's why I just turned 50 never married and live in isolation.

Growing up my parents were not close and then the first relationship I was ever in was real bad. Very manipulative and was eventually cheated on and it hurt me… for a while…. now that I am in a new relationship it’s hard for me to “love” again. I find myself totally reserved and purposefully pushing away some of those feelings. I admire those who have learned to let go or simply jst can…

my enlish is bad but i didnt notice/relised i had all these trauma until i saw the video and it described as me... alot of things happened when i was at age of 5 til now... all i can say i that i've been through alot with both my parents and foster family... cant tell cause its personal.. (Those who suffer from this, i'll suffer with you... i hope y'all are okay and stay strong. YOU ARE WORTHY

First Two sentences - I'm crying. (How dare you hit the point so precisely in the first seconds... I wanted to watch this - didn't expect being triggered right away. Ouch!)

Just found yourr channel and its great those are nice viedeos. Funny thing though is i was nerver in a realationship but still for example fell at least two of the traumas you describet there

Is it possible to be all? I grew up in an alcoholic and abusive (physically and verbally) household. I realized that I in my last relationship I did a lot of things I didn't like (people pleaser) and felt shame when I did things that brought me happiness. I am not like that anymore, or trying to be at least, going into counseling and these videos really help me bring awareness to my behaviors and things I want to change. Thanks Psycho2Go!

My parents didn't reject me directly, but when I tried to inform them of an abuser, they blew me off. It was easier. So I kept getting abused and when I tried to check out they were like 'Why? Why didn't you come talk to us?' UGH...

I realized I've had Abandonment and Humiliation trauma at the same time. Back in the days of childhood, suffering all types of abuses, still to this day, a part of me, gets triggered from time to time. And guess what... All these traumas, were not only from childhood, but from school as well. But, I'm trying, trying to heal. It's not an easy part... But as a gay teen, I need to heal, cause I've to face many more challenges ahead. I won't give up, for me, for my bf, my mumma papa, my sis.... 😌✨ And all those who suffered from traumas, trust me, you're really strong. It was really really hard back then, and some parts still lingers there, but hey, 🫂🫂 everything will be alright. I promise 🫂

oh, you got new style of videos? nice, this one is good

this music is FREAKING ME OUT

i didnt even experience rejection in my childhood and all i think about is that i have to make someone happy for me to be valid. i do find rejection as proof that im not worthy. i jump to conclusions faster than light. when someone even misses a message or misinterprets what i say, i usually almost overthink myself into a panic attack. if people ignore my messages, it becomes all i think about for the day. my mood depends entirely on what other people seem to think of me, and someone telling me something even slightly positive or negative can both easily put me in tears. i feel invisible to myself, like i only exist if people say i do. and im only scratching the surface here. i wish i could still see myself as a person.

My parents mocked me when I made failing grades despite normally being an A student who teachers adored. When I was in the 9th grade, I was so depressed that I allowed my grades in mathematics (my best subject) to slip. After scolding me, I heard my narc mother make a joke to my dad that she could get me to say "idk" to one of her questions about my grades. She asked me her question, but then I ruined her little game by telling her I heard her answer her own question. They both got silent afterwards and left me alone.

Theres so many background reasons like this to explain why people are who they are. Thats why I’m so considerate, because i also have my own trauma .

4:48 So disassociation comes from betrayal trauma, makes alot of sense.

I got issues with every one of these problems. Not so much the last one, but the rest felt like home 💔

Wow. I have traits of all of these, and when I last saw a psychologist, he said he doesn't believe I have MDD (diagnosed long ago) but rather CPSTD that manifests as depression, and constant negative self-talk.

I can't wait for a video where we are presented solutions to those traumas. Especially, if we are a mix of all of them

I just don't have relationships. I have found that people don't want to be with me that way and that's fine. It isn't like I have much of anything to offer. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way.

Thanks for saying that I do matter.. even i dont often say it to myself

Rejected by my birth mom and birth family. Abandoned by both birth and adopted family. Alot of people have let me down and that hurts. I'm alone now because I cannot trust others or even myself. 😢😢

I recently learned that I completely separate my emotions from my memories and that apparently after telling a (what I thought was not that bad or normal) story about what happened in my childhood it's not appropriate to say at the end "well what can you do"

Some seems to relatable with my childhood but the last one is def smth I can relate 100%, idk if my parents say those mock words just for us to laugh bout or they just wanna have fun mocking me. It really did affected me to this day now tbh, I acted so harshly on my ex-bf when he found out bout my things and I didnt mean to came out as abusive.. I was ashamed of myself and I lost someone I love more than anything in the world.. I'm trying to get better atm but dang, it's so hard to move on from the past..

I suffer from all of these, but I just suppress it all. I don't know why I do it but whenever my mental gets low I tend to think of all my trauma all at once and I sink deeper into my own pit of despair. I've had a great father, but the way I grew up from being bullied in school due to being "different" as well as all the abusive people I've met in my life, my mother abandoning me and abusing my brother. Even now, I had an event where I was seriously betrayed and I was dependent for so long only to find out it was a façade. It's not the first time it's happened but I can't seem to escape and find people to trust.

I don't like how trauma is only ever really discussed when it's connected to childhood.... I was hoping to see how trauma as an adult can change the way you act and think and ways to address and fix those effects. For example, I was a happy person and motivated, had a lot of friends etc. Then I was faced with something traumatic and my life is the complete opposite...

Ive experienced all of those and honestly my relationships just end up in me doing anything amd everything to keep a person around, even if they would kill me the next day. Im just so scared to have my life change and to loose people because i spend all my time making excuses and lies as fo why they are actually amazing, both lying to myself and to the people around me. I am too ashamed to admit i am beinf mistreated because i feel like its my fault i was stupid enough to end up in that situation, and at the end i feel even more ashamed to not only admit i was (in my own mind, i know this is not objectively true) naive and gullible enough to fall in love and be abused but also to admit i lied to upkeep the image of my abuser because their image was inadvertently also my image as well…

Why is the speaker’s voice so calming to me?

You know, I haven't had any traumatic experiences through my childhood (at least I don't think so) but I checked pretty much everything that was listed off of every trauma. I'm messed up and I have no clue why.

I feel like I’m not deserving of anything all the time. I feel guilty when someone helps or gives me something I feel like I don’t deserve that.

I thank you so much. the way you explain all those tetrors we kids have been through. It is so dangerous because we relate to our own kids with all those traumas., my question is: it is there an end to that suffering?. My own answer is NO. I am so sad. We are too many who are traumatised. There are few experts on trauma. Maybe there is one but he or she is not in your area or country. Reading is not enough. Based on my experience several medical doctors were borderline themselves.