Asè 💪🏾👑🔥 I feel so blessed hearing this word.

This doesn’t only apply to forgiveness for parents, because we also must have forgiveness for mankind in general..and also if said parent is still displaying the negative they have in the past , remove yourself from them if it’s a problem for you. Forgive but don’t be a continuous doormat. You can forgive and still support from a distance

💯💯💯

Exactly

You don't have to downplay the harm or effects of it in order to forgive.

​@@GeeBee212 True, thank you. Sometimes we have to forgive and let go.

This was not about the parents. Of course they must be held accountable. They must atone for any wrongs. Understand this context though. This is about the well-being of rhe child who needs to forgive, and move on. Sometimes, even if the parent asks forgiveness, and atones, the child steadfastly holds the parent to the past. In this way the child will stay in a loop of anguish, anger, pain and unforgiveness. This is only self punishment. This is not about forgetting. This is about you unburdening yourself of grief.

Speak on it

If you can't eat with the ones that made sure you was in nursery vs an abortion clinic...search your heart. Grateful heart .. forgive alll

@@kamekamoore3770 we’re not supposed to love toxic people the same as loving people forgive them and move on.

💯❤

​@@kamekamoore3770so a young woman should eat with her father even if he abused her her whole life? No. She can forgive him in her heart and pray for his healing from a safe distance. That woman is me. Forgiving doesn't mean to continue getting hurt and abused. It means you can have compassion and love for someone DESPITE the abuse while staying away and protecting your heart. Peace 💖

FACTS!!!!

This comment is the one ‼️💯

📌

True. The answer for children is to take a lot of space from your parents, esp if they don't wanna be accountable at all.

indeed

💪😎💯💥

Transition as in they died?

​@@ayesha8809yes, transition means to pass away. Death of the human body.

Beautiful quote❤thank you

But forgiveness, it’s a process correct? That process requires a confession then and apology through repenting. After the repentance comes the forgiveness. Maybe it’s not called forgiving when you don’t get the confession and for them to repent maybe it’s called something else though it’s a good something I don’t really feel it’s called forgiving in the absence of an apology.

Woow so sorry for the pain you’ve been through. My parents are loving, they both lived in Nigeria and I had to leave Nigeria to Ghana for school in Junior High School. So I had to live with my Aunts for some time in Ghana who were good people but were mostly pushing me around and I tried to be a good child I never complained but I realized that they respected and understood their children . Now that I’m almost in my mid twenties they still want to treat me how they’ve always treated me. They try to send me on errands even when the cousins younger than me are around. Sometimes it’s sad because I think I tolerated these people’s disrespect for a long time and they still don’t respect me but frankly if their kids were to be in my shoes the situation would be different. I know they deliberately just try to disrespect me because they’re intimidated by me so they try to just do something to bring me down. It got to a point where I thought I was mad because I trusted they would never do anything to hurt me. Now I cut them off. It’s sad in an extended family system where these people try to always make you the scapegoat.

Exactly

Absolutely.

Right!

Facts.

...And continue to do even into adulthood

True true and forgiven but they still continue to try even at old age to sabotage and manipulate even after you show them what they are doing,too selfish, nope nope entire childhood gone entire young adult life gone I was confused and angry therapy save me from total self destruction what is left of my life belong to my family and me. I have absolutely forgiven them but will not be participating in their madness anymore I am disappointed in myself it took me so so many years to claim my life and know that it was ok to separate myself from the nonsense as it was killing me. I wish them all the bestest nothing against them they are who they are and they deserve the space to be who they are but I am not participating in their toxic world…

Amen ❤

Don’t think that’s what she’s saying sweetheart

There's a quote that goes something like, "forgiving someone in silence and never speaking to them again is a form of self care."

ireneugeba5282, yes. You must save yourself.

You did exactly what is required of you. Good for you!

Me too ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 it’s painful but I’m healing and working through it all. All the best to you and lots of love xo

Ditto, Irene. I’ve forgiven way too many times, but the hateful abuse is getting even more toxic with her age, & it’s time to sever ties.

Terrible! Thank you🙏🏾

Yup!

📌 Not everyone is worthy to be forgiven. Just let go.

you summed it up perfectly.

Yup and they NEVER change with said mindset. It's practically condoning said behavior

And lots of psychological damage to the children. Hold these raggedy ass parent accountable for repeating our starting effed up cycles of abuse and dysfunction.

Forgiveness doesn't look like condoning what someone did, it's realizing theyre messed up. You're ability to forgive is to let go of that pain

You’re talking in circles and have missed the concept of this message. Breaking a cycle has absolutely nothing to do with forgiveness. You broke a cycle, ok , but you are still bound by your past and it’s clear you still have bottled up resentment. Forgiveness is for (personal) healing, nothing else.

Amen

Factz!

For dads that rape their daughters, they will only be forgiven when they are already behind bars

Exactly 💯

Well said 🙏🏾

I agree.

I'm in the same predicament Your right! 💯

Absolutely. You have no obligation towards parents who keep on being abusive to you.

THANK YOU.

I share the same!!!!

It’s broken up into parts, look at the other ones instead of going off just one video

An I stand with you on that, forgive? Yes, but forgive for yourself, an there's no harm in not wanting to have nothing to do with someone!

@@kennyhumble3699 Ty

And that is absolutely your right. You have to protect yourself.

@@TexasDymond01 🫡🙏🏿

This and This.

Forgive her, narcs are the most deeply wounded people walking this earth. Learn her story, it will help you feel compassion for her. And move on.

@@thatwifelife2138 how you assumed I haven't it's her that is constantly leaving in the past , and I'm an absorber of energy , I cannot continue to absorb someone that doesnt forgive herself.

AMEN❤

Same but I still had to stay away to get peace cause my mom is a narcissist.

@@ShaktiandShiva Self preservation is a must. Once I learned to stand up for myself, narcissist don't come near me which includes my mother and many of my relatives from her side of the family . That's what Imeant by transforming the karma.

Explain how to transform the karma please and thank you. ☮️❤️

@@AroundTheWayGirl88her grandparents raised her so she wasn’t exposed to all the abuse from her parents. That’s how she escaped the repetitive cycle of abuse. Her parents knew they weren’t fit to raise her so they stepped aside and let the grandparents do it. It’s different for those of us who had to really experience living/interacting with our unfit, dysfunctional, abusive, neglectful parents. I think it takes separation (from abusers) and safe space for a consecutive, substantial amount of time before people heal and stop attracting people like their parents but by that time, the damage is usually irreparable imo. I’m 46 and experienced lots of toxicity from my parents even up until now. My father won’t even try to do better by me even though he suffers alone because he’s a narcissist. Forgiving him is not an option for me because he’s done nothing to deserve forgiveness. His apologies were followed by more abuse. As far as I’m concerned, he committed serious parental injustices against me and has not done anything to redeem himself. If he was truly remorseful, I would forgive him, but he’s not. That’s like telling victims of rape and murder to forgive their un remorseful assailants who ruined their lives. They still need to pay for their actions right! I don’t think they deserve forgiveness if they don’t try to pay for their actions by doing better.

Yes Amen 🙏

Stay blessed

✨💫✨🫶🏼

❤ TRUE

Well said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

❤❤❤💥✍️ YOU SAID THE WHOLE TRUTH‼️🎤

That’s heartbreaking. Forgiveness is really releasing anger, bitterness, coldness ect from within and moving forward with love from within regardless. It’s for you. ❤

That’s similar to what happened with my father. Found him at 20 and it was a grave disappointment. He chose his white daughter over me and put me in competition with her, but I chose not to compete. I told him about himself on the phone, in emails and letters sent. Fuck him and her! They don’t even have a good relationship and he was in her life.

You are better than me, I would took revenge on him with a mike Tyson punch to the face

I resonate with you. My mom gave me up for others to raise me. I didn't understand until later she told me she never wanted to be a mother. I had to accept that, because I felt that all my life from her. It made me feel compassion for her because I couldn't do what she did. If I don't want something it's NOT happening ever. Also, I learned on her death bed what really happened to her for her to have been who she was and it also gave me a better understanding and that's what made it possible to forgive her. *Until then, I wasn't forgiving shit.* Eventhough, I always knew she wasn't the best mom all my life, hearing her story made a difference and made forgiveness possible and not for her, but for me to really move on with clarity! But hurt people hurt people, so I'm sure your mom has a *hurt story* somewhere. Forgiveness doesn't mean to overlook the mess either, it just puts things into perspective and nothing beats understanding, like overstanding. I had to look at what she put me through as life lessons that were necessary for my growth as painful as it was. *Amor Fati* when you get to that point, you win, and forgiveness comes effortlessly. 😉

I can innerstand your heart and the depth of it.. but have you ever thought of it from a diff perspective.. in a new way.. what if this was the experience that you needed to come into the highest version of yourself and give yourself the love you felt like you needed. I was only able to feel freedom and love in a real way after looking at my experience with a new set of eyes! It was not an easy feat but it was what I DESERVED and I gave it to myself because my mother was unable. I hope this provides some sort of new way to see YOU and your experience. Sending you love.. ❤ whatever which way you choose you have always deserved love…

If you're done letting her put hate in your heart, then forgiveness is the next step, no? You're going to be holding on to the hate for no reason and it'll stifle all forms of relationships you have with people. Forgiveness is for you, not them.

what do you men "for no reason"? folks like you smdh @@Noel-Marie4

Yeh it seems like that to me, she was so busy doing her own thing, that she neglected your daughter and son. Her children seem like they have harsh energy rather than naturally spiritually open, so she may have been harsh with her kids.

Exactly! She's actually projecting and is too narcissistic to admit that parents are to blame because she's currently going through that, but is using her intellect to downplay her actions. I definitely peeped that.

💯

Right like I wish everyone could understand that

Exactly. There are parents who are heavily into witchcraft and tried to sacrifice their own children. Sometimes it’s ok to just move on… as in those cases. Everybody is not an expert on everyone’s situation-they mostly speak on their experiences and try to project unto others. We have to know what works best for our own situations.

I have to agree. My mother is around Afua's age, and my grandmother died going on 5 years ago, now. About 4 years prior to her death, she put myself and my mother in a horrible situation that put our lives in danger, all for shits and giggles. We weren't on speaking terms with her after that, and we didn't go to her funeral. For myself, I've worked hard at realizing that my grandmother was a sociopath, so I cannot expect her to have loved me the way someone who isn't set up that way neurologically to love me. But for my mom, there's things she'll NEVER forgive my grandmother for, and I believe that is her right. It's hard having an abusive mother who never showed you love. I'm just grateful she turned out to be everything her mother wasn't, so I know what this woman is saying is far from the truth.

@@STARSAPPHIRE91 yes, her blanket statement about forgiveness tells me she is not as wise as she thinks. Unless maybe she's not a Christian who believes in heaven and hell. I am glad for you that your mom did not repeat the crazy. She broke the cycle. Continued blessings to you.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.

@@Noel-Marie4 same as how forgiveness is for God, not really for us sinners? Stop repeating the b/s

Sorry you went through this, and no offense but anybody that would treat their own offspring like that is trash smh

Older folks are stuck in their ways. We just have to accept whatever response they give and move on.

⁠Nah I am not accepting that crap. Anyone who does is a fool who doesn’t love themself. The proper way to move on is to permanently cut off the relationship. You can’t deal with ppl who tell you “get over it.” They don’t even have the capacity or empathy to want to understand. I refuse to deal with emotionally stunted ppl. They are not human. There’s no forgiveness but there’s no bitterness either. You’re dead to me and I will live a great life and you’ll never cross my mind. It’s really that simple.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@@kimberlybjrc I feel you💯. The thing is you can't say their is no bitterness without any forgiveness. You can forgive someone and never see or speak to them ever again at the same time At some point you have to let go what they did go and move on forward without any negative feelings. These people are who they are.

@@seansworldkc hmmm but I think I literally said there’s no forgiveness but no bitterness either, did I not? So it looks like I can say what I want. There’s no negativity. It’s called indifference and not caring. Simple. It’s possible to let go and move on and have self respect at the same time. There r ppl I am close to by blood that I will feel nothing!!! when they die 🍾🥂In fact, I won’t even know about it, that’s how let go I am. Black ppl stay losing as a group bc of this forgiveness bullshit. Cry me a river 😂

Wow... it's almost like you watched my entire life story with my parents and myself. I guess I can find solace at least in the fact that there's some parents out there that get it. All those toxic traits you mentioned have been going on as long as I've been alive and it gets to the point where you just have to cut off and distance yourself from all of that to be able to maintain your sanity.

Thank you.. it's goofy to expect a person to be on permanent forgiveness mode when the people that have historically abused them (and often continue to) aren't even accountable or willing to acknowledge their abuse smh

@@lefty206 they never do anything to fix the problems they created or try to heal the people they damaged. They don’t do anything to redeem themselves. Taking accountability is more than apologizing. It involves action and demonstration.

I am deeply sorry you went through that.

Preach!

I take weed and shrooms to help with my mental trauma.

💯💔

💯😂

I empathize with your situation, but don’t be hard on yourself. I sometimes wish I never met my wicked sperm donor and his entire family. I’m dealing with trauma because I met them. I’m not saying you would’ve experienced the same thing, but God could’ve been protecting you from something. Mine never really wanted me in the beginning, but he’s been lying to everyone otherwise. His actions prove that he never wanted children. I don’t like him, and I’ve since cut him and his entire family out of my life. I now have peace.

Her advice doesn’t apply to real life situations with abusive parents.